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Ugh. Thank God Facebook statuses didn't exist when 9/11 happened.
Now that Osama bin Laden is dead, President Obama’s birth certificate is out of the news, and so is Donald Trump, whose teevee show was pre-empted last night before America could find out what’s really important, which celebrity performed poorly in a fake business game. But that’s okay, because bin Laden’s death is a prime breeding ground for new conspiracy theories, and the press is salivating at the prospect of reporting them to you.

The Washington Post has this online article, which offers crazy people suggestions on where to base their new theories.

Buried at Sea
Bin Laden was reportedly transported from Pakistan and “buried at sea,” although it’s not clear in what body of water, according to a U.S. official. The Post reports that the U.S. government did not want there to be a gravesite that could be used as a shrine. Some conspiracy theorists doubt that bin Laden is dead because the body was disposed of so quickly. Others take issue with the lack of photographic evidence.

‘Mission Accomplished’ Anniversary
Yesterday was the eighth anniversary of President George W. Bush’s so-called “Mission Accomplished” speech. To some, this coincidence is an opportunity to use “Mission Accomplished” as a rallying cry — to show that almost 10 years after 9/11, the mastermind of the attack is dead. Others may see this as not a coincidence, but a carefully planned public relations act.

Sure, thanks, Post.

The U.S. is actually probably going to release photos of bin Laden soon to quell suspicion. But that will probably set the conspiracy theories in motion more than anything, because people have never found an image of bin Laden they really liked, have they? There’s always argument over whether “it’s really him.” The U.S. could probably get more people to believe they killed bin Laden by releasing photos of a dead drag queen than putting out the images of his actual body.

People who hate Obama will find an excuse to say he’s still a secret Muslim and played no part in killing bin Laden. And that’s what separates us from Al Qaeda: We have the freedom to believe whatever we want in this country, even if it’s an obvious and fundamentally disgusting lie.

Oh, by the way, Al Qaeda says bin Laden is still alive. Have fun, crazies! [WP]

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  • mavenmaven

    Trump has a group of investigators en route to Pakistan right now!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Actually, they're headed for the strip bars and soaplands of Bangkok, where, they assure him, they have some very promising leads.

      • arihaya

        Trump's next wife will be aThai ladyboy?

        • Not_So_Much

          I thought that's what was living on his head?

    • PsycWench

      because we must see the long-form death certificate?

    • Buckminster

      Somebody should investigate why Trump is such a humorless a**hole.

  • Troubledog

    And he was so close to his "new every two" free phone from Verizon…

  • Doktor Zoom

    To give blame where it's due, the Freepers were saying this before Obama's speech.

    • widestanceroman

      I trust they keep conspiracies on file, like obits at newspapers.

  • jdoleman

    Obama is Bin Laden, Check out the pictures.

    WE ARE THOUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE PEOPLE!

  • horsedreamer_1

    I hope the Navy SEALS who took part in the siege find inspiration in Buzz Aldrin's treatment of moon-landing denialists. In said event, Michael Cody will end up looking like the Elephant Man.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I know a couple of former Navy SEALS who just might take exception to Michael Cody's referring to them as "idiots."

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Let's take comfort that on 7.1.11, Transformers 3 will convince the deniers that there was a Moon landing, if only to cover for an alien confirmation mission.

      • LeAlbatross

        Goodness knows *I* do. I was always polite to the SEALS, they were really good guys. Crazy, but really good guys.

  • memzilla

    Post the attack video on YouTube (you know we have it). Send the DNA samples to WHO, let the UN compare Bin Laden's to his sister's brain and announce the results.

    This will not end the conspiricists' spittling, but it will really tick off the Deathers (nee Birthers).

  • Callyson

    Sure, bin Laden has been dead for a while now, and Obama kept quiet about it…it's not as if the news would have been beneficial if it had been released in, say, late October 2010…
    And if bin Laden were not really dead, all he would have to do is release a video of himself discussing recent events: this would permanently damage Obama's re-election chances and his historical legacy…
    Seriously, these conspiracy nuts believe this crap? What's next, Obama was not born in the US? Oh wait…

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    After getting caught flat-footed on the birther issue, WP is not going to miss getting in on the ground floor of the Osama Conspiracopia. Journalism at its finest. Talk about being "at sea".

    • NorthStarSpanx

      WaPost brought Trump as their guest to the WHCD, didn't that make up for the birther fumble?

  • freakishlywrong

    Barack Obama is half African American. We are an ugly, racist nation up to our armpits in foolish, hateful infants. The press only covers the infants. Therefore, nothing good happens ever unless there is a Republican president.

    The end.

    • HELisforHEL

      Freakishlywrong, you are sadly freakishly right.

  • nounverb911

    But how does all this effect Sarah Palin, she's been awfully quiet lately.

    • JoshuaNorton

      If she goes a whole day without using The Twitter, she has to be shown how it works all over again.

    • freakishlywrong

      Not quiet enough. Her FB statement is insulting and nauseating, with nary a mention of the Kenyan. The comments made me want to weep. I despise conservatives.

      • finallyhappy

        despise is pretty mild compared to what I feel about these morons

    • Not_So_Much

      Is she taking credit for any surveyor marks over the compound?

    • PubOption

      She can't see Pakistan from her house.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    It's obvious Obama only did this because of Donald Trump. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG????!!11!!

  • nappyduggs

    A few things:
    Number first: HATERS.
    And then: Thanks for the contribution, snorkel fuck. I know those tubes create dead air space, but apparently it didn't stop in your lungs and went straight for that half-brain you're rockin'.
    Also finally: Bin Laden''s body? Just don't eat the "McVictory Snack Wrap" they're gonna roll-out next week.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    And when are they going to release the long form death certificate? Huh?

  • Someday, a white guy will return to the WH. Until then (at least 2016) the "Lamstream Media" will make sure the crazies are heard loud and clear.

    • DahBoner

      They already have election day 2012 circled in red crayon on their paper calendars …

  • SorosBot

    Hey, last night some of the wingnuts already were claiming Obama purposefully timed the announcement to preempt The Apprentice for people living in inferior time zones, as if Trump was somehow a credible threat to Obama instead of just an attention-seeking clown.

    • Not_So_Much

      I saw this from a few really smart 'friends' last evening. I advised them to loosen the tin foil and maybe swap it out from time-to-time…

  • HempDogbane

    Rush, just now: "If Obama was such a 'shoe-in' for reelection Osama bin Laden would still be alive today." So classy.

    • DahBoner

      This is the same guy who wanted Hillary to win?

    • GOPCrusher

      "I don't know. I'll just tell you this, if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica."

      Rush on health care reform.

      • HELisforHEL

        Oh please, McFatAss, leave the country. All those ripe young Latin boys are beckoning you. And we'd be rid of your fat fuck face.

    • finallyhappy

      what? Rush is such dog shit ,no offense to dogshit

    • miss_grundy

      This hoser should be turned into a cocktail weenie by skewering him with a broom handle in the butt and a couple of bamboo skewers in his peni$. I'm really into seriously torturing a$$sholes like this idiot because waterboarding is for sissies.

      • HempDogbane

        Needs more $.

  • Doktor Zoom

    WHERE'S THE DERP CERTIFICATE?

  • Mumbletypeg

    the mastermind of the attack is dead

    Aw why let Cody & Friends have all the fun.
    My own inner conspiracist skeptic is convinced Osama is just taking a conveniency-coma nap.

  • problemwithcaring

    If Bush had caught Osama, the WaPo and the rest of America would be advocating to change to Constitution and select him as President for Life.

    Now, with a Black Dem as president, liberals will demonize Obama as a war monger and his supporters as debased patsies, while conservatives attempt to deny him any credit whatsoever. Another day in Amerikkka.

    • WriteyWriterton

      Gah. Right, probably, but…gah.

    • freakishlywrong

      I certainly don't demonize Obama for this. I'm glad this ugly chapter can be put to rest. I'd also like to see all these ugly conservatives put to rest, but that's another post.

    • Fuck Toad

      Hey, I'm a hateful wet blanket over this, and I'm not demonizing Obama. The story out there is that they tried to capture UBL, it wasn't possible, so they did the next best thing. Unfortunate, but I'm not second-guessing the President over something like this.

      And as far as I can tell, I'm on the crazy fringe even among sinister Marxo-Islamist scum like those of us at Wonkette.

  • Preferred Customer

    They can't believe what they are finding.

  • edgydrifter

    One of our resident NOBAMMER birthers here in the office trolled out this very meme this morning. I replied:
    "At this moment, I can't imagine anything that would give Al-Qaida and their sympathizers more comfort than a glimmer of hope that their leader is still alive, and it really makes me wonder what kind of person would offer them hope like that. Some would call that kind of talk seditious."
    That shut her up, for now at least.

    • Cheetah Repeater

      When you wrote 'office' I instantly thought you were referring our own Wonk office troll, but that's great come back. Wingers should be embarrassed back under their rocks, especially if they going continue to try and paint Barry/libruls as less patriotic than their pwned selves.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Just borrowed that to post on a Facebook thread where an idiot was claiming that it was all a scam. Thanks!

    • HELisforHEL

      That is an awesome response. I will save that for a few select republitards I know. Thank you for putting it so succinctly!

  • genxr

    Charlie Sheen?

  • jdoleman

    I bet with that Kenyan Muslamic in the white House no-one will life a finger. What has he ever done to make America safe?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The Global Economic Collapse of 2008?

  • James Michael Curley

    I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. – Mark Twain

  • Sue4466

    Great, once the photos are released, we'll have to start the endless debates whether we like the thin Bin Laden or the fat Bin Laden.

    • whiskeybaby

      Who wore the djellaba best: young Bin Laden or old Bin Laden?

    • tessiee

      I can't wait for the commemorative-issue postage stamp.

  • genxr

    The biggest conspiracy is staring us right in the face. Obama timed this to preempt Donald Trump's reality show. Look for a shocking new development each and every week, until Trump gets canceled.

    • James Michael Curley

      It's great when a plan comes together.

      • genxr

        Can't wait to see the look on the Don's face when Celebrity Apprentice gets replaced with The Seth Meyers Show.

    • tessiee

      So, next week, he'll institute a single payer health care plan, the week after that, he'll repeal the Bush tax cuts on the wealthy, and the week after that?

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    If symbolism was the goal, wouldn't waiting until the second Saturday in September have been a better choice?

    • DaRooster

      Imagine what they would say then… "Obama is exploiting a sacred date of American history"… or some such crap.

      They are truly NON-Patriots.

  • WriteyWriterton

    Two shooters, with one on the grassy knoll?

  • carlgt1

    the report I heard on Fox News is that Obama has assumed the role of Al Qaeda #1…

  • Slim_Pickins

    The photos haven't been released because using Photoshop takes a while…

  • Gopherit

    Somehow, some way, Palin will take credit for this.

    • LesBontemps

      Or seeing no way to take credit, will complain about it.

    • GOPCrusher

      I have no doubt that as we speak, her ghost twitterer is coming up with a tweet claiming that Osama Bin Laden's death is a bad idea and will only further inflame Muslim hatred toward America.

    • Jukesgrrl

      She'll take credit as soon as she learns how to pronounce Abbottabad.

  • bigdupa

    Bin Landen wasn't killed. He agreed to "play along" to help Obama, his Muslin brother. In return, he gets a job as a security guard looking over Saddam's old stock pile of weapons of mass destruction.

  • Terry

    and those photos are winging their way from email box to email box right now.

  • Would the Deathers want to see, touch and taste the corpse as well?

    • HELisforHEL

      We could throw them in that undisclosed sea and they can find him themselves. We better tie weights to them first, so they can check every inch of the ocean floor.

  • Badonkadonkette

    The birthers begat the deathers.

  • baconzgood

    Hey Michael FYI: Don't use a photo of you grabbing your batch for your face book picture.

  • V572..whatever

    Remember how, when Bin Laden would release a new video or audio tape, the CIA would sternly announce, "We are checking the authenticity of this tape," because there wasn't a goddamn thing they could say besides that, but they wanted to sound like they were doing something?

    Well, this time they had the body, have the photos, had the courier who visited him, have his child-bride's ID, have the DNA and every other fucking conceivable piece of evidence that could prove beyond the doubts of anyone but a racist teabagger birther that Bin Laden's dead and American military forces (not Delta) killed him. So it'd probably be best if Barry sits on this for a few months, like he did the berf sertificat, to let them stew in their own juices and spin up nonsense, and then release the evidence, oh, let's say, the night before the Republican convention.

  • Gopherit

    There's only one way to be sure. Let's get Bert to Gitmo. He'll know, and we can break him.

  • Buckminster

    Gee, I wondered how long it would take the morons to sober up after the party and start conspiracy-hunting. Come on, teabaggers, have another tequilla and give your vacuous gum flapping a rest!

  • Warpde

    Too late to worry about Conspiracy Theories
    gaining footing. The Nutter's on the Becksters site have been banging em out it as soon as it was announced.
    Well at least the ones left after heads stopped exploading.

    • AJW@[redacted]

      If conspiracy theories didn't exist, we would have to invent them.

  • baconzgood

    C'mon do you think Al Qaeda would lie to the american people?

    • DahBoner

      Al Qaeda & Teabaggers: Brothers in arms.

      Hey nutbags! When are you going to recapture The South?

      Snort!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Uh…I meant the Kenyan Usurper's last name, of course.

    CHEMTRAIL HAARP MIND-CONTROL RAYS ARE CAUSING ME TO MAKE TYPOS!!!! THE TRVTH IS OUT THERE!!! I WANT TO BELIEVE!11!!!!!

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      MK ULTRA! Black Helicopters, BLACK HELICOPTERS coming to get Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann and Ron Paul because theyze loves FREEDUMZ, it's a crime accordin' to BILL AYERS AND GEORGE SOROS! VAN JONES OMG A KEN-YAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE AN DEATH PANELS! and the mother of all conspiracy theories: HILLARY CLINTUN! RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE!

      • HELisforHEL

        Wow, that's frighteningly good.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Filled my right-wing rant Bingo card in one post.

  • McCain/Palin '08?

    • WriteyWriterton

      Long time, no see, CK. We get the new Hizzonner in a couple of weeks.

      • Sodomy, Rahm and the Lash. Sodomy being property tax hikes, and the Lash being such budget cuts as seasonal garbage pickup.

        • WriteyWriterton

          We do what we can with what we got, my frien'.

  • Doktor Zoom

    The Holohoax swindle?

  • Slim_Pickins

    When you don't have the facts on your side, teach the controversy.

  • DustBowlBlues

    America and the POTUS is a proven badass. Mission Accomplished. Can we leave Iraq and Afghanistan now, pleeeze?

    • V572..whatever

      If only. Remember when Gerry Ford rescued the half of the crew of the Mayaguez that he didn't kill, and they gave him the wheel from the pilot house? Right, nobody else does either. Barry could just change his name to Barrack "Many Coups" Obama…

  • flamingpdog

    Lindberg baby kidnapping?

  • politics_nerd

    As we know, Breitbart/O'Keefe (or similar) have already released a faked fake, with the unretouched pre-"fake" image a mirror copy of the post-faked one, after the fake faked retouching. I learned this on the wonkette earlier. I lernedit gud. The more hatecrazy the wingnuts act, the better, I say. So long as they get properly ridiculed, tia.

    • tessiee

      Yes, but their fake is a fake fake, not the approved or correct fake.

  • Buckminster

    Yeah? So what's the REAL story on Biggie and Tupac????

    • DahBoner

      Trump killed them over an argument in a rigged Atlantic City Trump casino card game.

      Allegedly.

    • GOPCrusher

      I heard Glenn Beck raped and killed them.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Will this cause Orly Taitz to go off-message? Or will she pivot from Birther to Deather with ease?

  • This is good news for Bloc Québécois!!!

  • Hatrabbit

    Conspiracy Theory: Osama is actually alive and on his way to New York to audition for Season number 'What ever' of Trump's Celebrity Apprentice.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I hate to splash a dose of reality on the nutters, but if OBL has been dead for awhile, why wouldn't Barry wait until say …. Oct. 2012 to whip out his corpse? These feelings of bi-partisanship and not wishing Barry completely dead ain't going to last another 18 months!

  • PsycWench

    What did wingnuts do before the word "Photoshop" was coined?

    • I'm not a trained evil psychologist, so this is just my lay opinion: Wingnuts don't believe their lying eyes. And if their eyes will lie to them, just imagine what a document is capable of.

  • Not_So_Much

    I can't help but wonder what poor sonofabitch gets Bin Laden as a one of their 'virgins' for a reward in the afterlife?

  • mereoblivion

    If only Obama had said, at the end of the announcement, "Good luck, Mr Gorsky." Then I could have believed.

  • You've found another great wingnut koan, like the other one about how the Invisible Hand is Darwinism in the Free Market at the same time that Darwinism in Nature is an anti-God fraud.

    • GOPCrusher

      Or Love the fetus, hate the child.
      Or be anti-abortion but pro-death penalty.
      Or be anti-taxes, but spend more money for guns.
      Or be anti-government, but tell people what they can do with their private parts.

      • HELisforHEL

        That's our lil teabaggy republican party. The party of dopes.

    • tessiee

      Also, mothers and children are anti-family.

  • Beetagger

    Cheney wasn't finished skull-fucking the corpse.

  • CapeClod

    Slightly off topic but after blowing away those pirates last year and rubbing out bin Laden, those SEAL dudes really are some pretty big bad asses.

  • Obama can prove bin Laden dead:

    –bin Laden head on a pike at the White House? No, to 16th century English and therefore not anti-colonial enough.

    –disgusting pictures of bin Laden's head, cranium exploded? No, look how easy it was to Photoshop the long form birth certificate.

    –universal outrage among al Qaeda cell world-wide over the death of their leader? No, half of them work for George Soros anyway.

    –DNA test? No, DNA doesn't exist, too much like Darwin and evolution.

    The inevitable conclusion: bin Laden still alive.

  • OBL: "The photos of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

  • vodkamuppet

    This is going to fuck up my P-ness but whatever. Why is it crazy to not buy this story? There's nothing really to believe. No evidence what so ever that anything happened, at all. I know this is a snark site but fuck Jack, a tiny amount of skepticism is warranted here.

    • freakishlywrong

      Dubya told us that Iraq had WMD, without a shred of evidence. We were skeptical. We were called "un-American" and "treasonous". Payback is a bitch.

      • vodkamuppet

        I'm a commie pinko liberal progressive, read through my comments and don't lump me in with those assholes. Do you really believe everything you hear from Bammerz these days?

        • freakishlywrong

          I consider the alternative. I never want to see a Republican near any lever of power ever again. If that means not being over the moon about my candidate, that's what Ill do.
          Us Pinkos need to give as good as we've gotten from these assholes.

          FYI, I didn't downfist you, I realize you were only expressing your opinion.

          • vodkamuppet

            Thank you. Obama has my vote, no question about it. It was not my intention to troll or anything but I just think that even though Bammerz is ostensibly on our side, we should be skeptical of the official story coming from the whitehouse. I feel shunned for saying it. I've been a progressive for as long as I've had any political identity, to the point that when they started calling me a socialist in 08 I said fuck it and let it go, because it's not far from the truth. Now I'm being lumped in with the birther freaks. I resent that.

    • glamourdammerung

      I have no issues with skepticism. After all, moral and intellectual consistency is just part of what separates us from the Breitards. But this would be easy to confirm if it was not true (bin Laden shows up as a miniature golf course) and would really damage Obama's credibility and would probably get him impeached. There is not a logical reason for Obama to lie about it as there would be zero benefit and a lot of negatives.

    • finallyhappy

      Feel free to be a "Deather", We all ready have a truther here(Guru). I lump all you guys togther- I don't really care if you are liberal, conservative or just nuts.

      • vodkamuppet

        You know what? Call me what ever the fuck you want, I don't fucking care. You cant even spell 'already' so your opinion means jack fucking shit to me. It's fine and dandy to question everything W did but the slightest bit of skepticism towards Obamas word on this brands me as a birther, truther, deather. Fuck you, you democrat chickenhead mindless drone Overton window enabling loser piece of shit. You make real progressives look bad.

        • Jukesgrrl

          I'm quite willing to believe you are a progressive. I also believe you're a buzz kill. (Is buzz kill one word, or two? I wouldn't want to make an error.)

          • vodkamuppet

            Read my comments and make what you will of them. If my progressive bonafides don't impress you, uh sorry? Or something? Its funny to me that the commentariate on a site that regularly criticizes Obama for not being progressive enough and criticizes the government on an hourly basis for being completely inept has a problem with a tiny amount of critical thinking on my part about this one stupid thing. And yeah, I'm sorry if my response to being called a birther was a buzz kill for you, that must have really fucked up your day. Nobody can stand a troll and your response wasn't trollish at all.

  • OSAMA BIN SHOPPED!!!11!!1!!!!1

  • Badonkadonkette

    You know, the right wing reaction to this settles any question about who is to blame for the divisiveness of politics today. This is Obama's 9/11 moment. No, it's not a tragedy, but it is the moment for which he will be remembered most in the US' efforts against al Qaeda.

    After 9/11, 90% of us rallied behind George W. Bush because he was our President. We may not have voted for him – I didn't – but he was our leader and we turned to him and supported him.

    Within hours of this undeniable victory for all of us, asslicks like Limbaugh and the teabagger in my office who said there was no way bin Laden could be dead are already trying to turn this into an opportunity to smear Obama. And why? Because he's "liberal." Because he's a Democrat. Maybe because he's black.

    Fuck them. Remember these next few days and the days following 9/11, Wonketteers, the next time some teabag asshole blames Nina Totenberg when some GOP kiddie diddler sends around a Obama is a chimp photo. They don't do it because of us. They do it because they are hateful, sinister, malicious, evil, divisive piles of pigshit.

    • WriteyWriterton

      Well put, and absolutely right. The double standard pervades the wingnutsphere.

    • freakishlywrong

      America! Fuck Yeah! And what you said.

    • James Michael Curley

      Time is moving too fast. I spent the week-end with the thoughts that since the disclosure of the "Long Form Birth Certificate" the long obscured word of racist, as apllied to the more pedantic Obama critics, came out of the closet. Something I have been prompting for a year now.

      Even at Democratic Party meetings where many are very glad that Obama is president, they have cautioned me with "You can't realy call it that … " But they are wrong. A whole lot of the Obama is (insert negative assesment here) exists because he is the non-white member of that weirdly nineteenth century fiction which defines "Races".

    • HELisforHEL

      I completely agree with the reasons you lay out re: the right wing's fear of a black president.
      But even after 9/11, I never supported asshat W. I hoped they would actually A) Try diplomacy B) Look at root cause before knee-jerk reacting C) Actually go after the right people (including many Bush family friends in Saudi Arabia). And when none of that happened (unsurprisingly, considering Ashcroft & Cheney's presence), my monumental hatred for yet another piece of shit Bush family member became white hot. Republicans can go fuck themselves with a tree log. Your assessment of their qualities is spot on.

    • tessiee

      Hear, hear!

      You guys remember the part in "Blazing Saddles" when Sheriff Bart did something good, and the cranky old lady, to make amends, brought him a pie and said, "By the way, I'm sorry about my 'up yours, n****r!' remark"? Our President isn't even getting that much credit.

  • nounverb911

    A year and a half early.

  • Can't wait to have some of mom's celebratory "Osama Bin Laden Shot In Head" chicken for dinner tonight.

    PS
    It's just regular chicken with a name. In fact, I've been giving every meal a name today.

  • LesBontemps

    Liberal wing of the Democratic party?

  • widestanceroman

    One eye or two eye?

  • "Wave to the camera, Osama!"

    • BarryOPotter

      "Or don't. 'Sup to you, brah…"

  • GodShammgod

    The sad thing is that Obama probably won't even reach 60% in the polls, whereas if a GOP president was in office, they'd reach 90%.

    The Republican base is a bunch of feral animals.

    • DahBoner

      I has upfisted u!

    • finallyhappy

      Feral animals are so much better than the GOP. Really.

      • tessiee

        Feral animals behave the way they do in order to survive, not inflict suffering on others for fun.

  • DixieWrecked

    Long form death certificate: Cause of Death – USA!USA!USA!

  • wondering where i am

    This variant of conspiracy theory is creative:

    He didn’t do this willingly. Bet on it. The attacks on the CIA by the DUMMIES Pelosi, Obama, and Holder proves they hated the fact that the CIA got info to track down OBL under BUSH.

    –courtesy free republic–See the CIA had the info thanks to GW and that FORCED Obama to order the raid.

    • DahBoner

      Yeah, it's a well known fact the CIA really calls the shots and the Pretzeldent is just a figgerhead.

      Yeah whatever dumpshits…

  • Cradle to grave conspiracy coverage.

  • Poindexter718

    Osama's earthly remains were handled in a manner consistent with Islamic traditions/Sharia Law and commended to a watery grave after a brief ceremony presided over by President B. Hussein Obama himself, acting in his capacity as Imam in Chief of the United Caliphate of America.

  • MaxUdargo

    No doubt. Those silly Navy Seals. You know they stopped right in the middle of everything, whipped out their iPhones and started taking pictures. Then they texted all their friends "Im n ur pakstan killin ur OBL LOLOL." And then they found a hooka and started smokin whatever was in it and ended up dancing around in their underwear and taking pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror, hugging each other and doing the duckface. There's probably one guy still there passed out in the bathtub.

  • DahBoner

    Vegas bin Laden?

  • nonbeliever7

    Hey that's one of those PALINdromes isn't it? Looks the same forward or backward.

  • ttommyunger

    I, for one, can never forget that these cocksuckers made a combat veteran holder of the Purple Heart and Silver Star a National laughingstock by their constant drip, drip, drip and niggling harping. I'm talking about John Kerry. The power of propaganda, consistently and properly applied, cannot be understated; especially when dealing with an inattentive or receptive populace.

    • James Michael Curley

      Again, I'm with you. I take every chance I can to be rude and offensive (as a political opponent) to a local Republican Office Holder who once wore one of those Purple Heart Band Aids. I blame Bob Dole for the Swiftboating of John Kerry. He could have put a stop to it with a phone call; but he didn't. And in the particular dichotomy of Republican politics, it could be said that Bob Dole's wounds were self inflicted just as Obama gets trashed for three years over 'not born in the US' when McCain wasn't. But I won't deminish Bob Dole's wounds or the manner in which they were received. The critical point that all those Republican assholes threw away was that the Purple Heart, unlike any other US war medal, exisits because of the sacrifice of any person of any rank, gender or background.

      • ttommyunger

        It's the “Victory at All Cost” attitude. Sacrifice truth, human dignity and character, nothing is sacred.

    • HELisforHEL

      Dead on. Kerry was in the shit while Jr was holed up on a drunk that Daddy would cover up for him. I can still picture those fat white fuckers at their convention with those band aids on and their fake cowboy hats, gushing over their boy W. They have no shame.

    • tessiee

      \snark off\
      I'm curious to know what you would have done if you'd been in John Kerry's position.
      /snark on/

      • ttommyunger

        I would have attacked them as a group and individually, picked over their previous positive ratings and statements about me, exposed their funding. In short, I would have not taken the high road as Kerry did.

  • James Michael Curley

    One of the "Queer Eye .. " guys couldn't take that Cave Look any longer.

  • Guppy06

    "releasing photos of a dead drag queen"

    You write these words in this order without posting the furry butt-gut picture?

  • "…photos of a dead drag queen…"

    Cantor: ''All right, Mr, Boehner, I'm ready for my close-up!"

  • V572..whatever

    Ha ha, but it was SEAL Team 6.

  • Over at http://www.gurukalehuru.com, I discuss the weirdness of storing Osama's dead body in Davy Jones locker, the in your faceness of saying "Hey, we killed Osama, btw we got rid of the body toute de suite, nobody wanted to see that."
    Here in the comments, I see the same arguments used to rebut anybody who believes anything other than the official version of 9/11, i.e. you're nuts, you're probably a birther and believe in Bigfoot, too, blah blah blah.
    Well, photos can be faked, so I'm not too impressed by those, but if they've got DNA samples and can have them verified by some reliable (as in NON American) source, like the Red Cross, or the University of Oslo or some such, I'll shut up.
    Until then, you can call me a deather if you want.

    • finallyhappy

      adding to your trutherness. They do have DNA but I don't trust the Red Cross myself. Actually the death of Osama isn't going to make any difference to terrorism as far as I see it- except for an upsurge in attempts in the near future ..

  • GOPCrusher

    Lynddie England is a Navy SEAL now?

  • [redacted]hse

    Thank god for Michael Cody. I now know who the idiots are.
    That was close.

  • sallysubterfuge

    "Secret Living Muslim kills Muslim Secret"

    By God, you are correct man!

  • JimmyPete

    Aha, Is there any truth to the rumor that for years Bin Laden hid under that thing on the top of Trump's head? Finally Bin Laden wasn't shot by a Navy Seal, they played a CD of Sarah Palin's crow screech and he shot himself. It's the truth, Look it up on the internets.

  • wondering where i am

    Now THAT wold be schadenfreude I can believe in!

  • Mr. President, if there was ever a time for Death Panels and FEMA re-education camps, that time is now. Show us you're the secret Manchurian Socialist Kenyan Communist Nazi Muslim Triple-Secret Martian sleeper-agent the tin-foil crowd claims you are and just start rounding up Deathers, Birthers and GOPers. Enough pussyfooting around already.

  • BruceSugar

    UBLs death can be verified if only we have the long from birth certificate!

    Mission Accomplished: The Accomplishing Part 2

  • GOPCrusher

    The Reichstag Fire?

  • finallyhappy

    I heard there are photos and video(the official ones before anything besides the two shots to the head were done)

  • finallyhappy

    I just saw the Royal wedding- why have elections when you have a queen!

  • glamourdammerung

    Conservatives are just reflexively nervous whenever America starts killing off its enemies.

    • tessiee

      Niiiiice!

  • BZ1

    The Washington Post makes The Enquirer look reputable…

  • tessiee

    Are you implying that somebody was watching "The Apprentice"?

  • lochnessmonster

    That my friends, was shock and awe!

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