enemies list

Sensitive Obama Bans Reporter Who Took Embarrassing Video of Him

Remember this? Well somebody must have turned very red! And then he got a little angry:

White House officials have banished one of the best political reporters in the country from the approved pool of journalists covering presidential visits to the Bay Area for using now-standard multimedia tools to gather the news.

The Chronicle’s Carla Marinucci – who, like many contemporary reporters, has a phone with video capabilities on her at all times -shot some protesters interrupting an Obama fundraiser at the St. Regis Hotel.

Oh no! The mean reporter reported something that happened! How dare she! She must be punished.

In the name of transparency, though, she will be allowed to read wire reports to do her reporting. See, everything’s fine. [San Francisco Chronicle]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. nounverb911

    "The mean reporter reported something that happened!"
    It's good to live in the USA, Stalin would have sent her to the Gulag.

  2. harry_palmer

    Did she film them leaving the free speech zone? Cause if they got close enough to foul the air that the donors were breathing, that would be news.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    President Obama is just reaching out to the Republicans — you'll recall that every time Dubya did something newsworthy, it was a crime scene too.

          1. RavenRant

            Didn't last though. My p-ness peaked prematurely.

            Did you watch the royal wedding? I did not. John Oliver's coverage last night on TDS was all I needed to watch.

            However, I did see this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/grace-van-custem-t

            I think I signed up for intense debate too soon. 'Disapproving Flower Girl' would make a great avatar.

          2. Limeylizzie

            Not the biggest fan of the Windsors, I checked out the dress and that was about it I love that little troll-like child, that will haunt her until she is about 45

          3. RavenRant

            I hope she's contrary enough to take pride in it. I really relate to that crabby moppet.

            BTW, it's Friday night already, a full work week, and no sign of the scandalous DC cocktail party video. Was Mr. Layne just teasing us? Should I give up hope?

          4. Limeylizzie

            He will spring it upon us I suspect.I mean he's been so full of his disappointment with Barry Obama that he wouldn't want to disappoint us, now would he?

          5. RavenRant

            I'm surprised I'm the only one wheedling and whining about it. Isn' t EVERYONE chomping at the bit to see this mysterious vid?

          6. glamourdammerung

            Maybe Ken was being sporting and giving Little Andy a chance to disclose it himself.

          7. RavenRant

            Like Little Andy gave Shirley Sherrod a heads-up and a chance to release her entire NAACP speech in context?

            Or how 'sporting' he was with ACORN? NPR? Planned Parenthood?

            One of the first 'scoops' this assclown posted to his site was a scandalous video of a multi-racial church group PRAYING TO OBAMA!!1!! OMG!!!

            Of course, if you just listened to the audio, instead of reading the captions, it was inescapably obvious that they were just saying, "Hear our prayer, O God," and so forth, with no mention of Obama to be found.

            However, some of the praying people were brown, and therefore inherently scary and sinister.

            This guy is racist filth. The racism comes through with every story, every choice of targets.

            He should be taken down without mercy till he can't show his face in public.

            Also, I REELY REELY want to see this thing. I flunked patience.

          8. glamourdammerung

            We are always expected to be the better people. And face it, we know Ken is always going to be on the high road compared to Breitbart as Shameless Andy is a scumbag.

            Though it would be nice to see this surprise any time now. Hint, hint.

  4. MinAgain

    Maybe now she can get a real job. Like helping people move their stuff out of the nuclear danger zone in Japan. I'm sure she already has a truck or something.

  5. Callyson

    one of the best political reporters in the country
    HAHAHAHAHA…not if this person works for the Chronicle, also known as The Shame of the Bay Area…

    1. Guppy06

      I'd say, since this only happened because she was the only one in the press pool doing any actual reporting, that makes her the best political reporter in the country by default.

  6. Gopherit

    Also, professional political hacks acting like professional political hacks. Color me shocked. Rahm would have had her practicing her diving off the Bay Bridge.

  7. glamourdammerung

    What a coincidence. When someone breaks rules to be an annoying jerk, I do not invite them back for events either.

    1. user-of-owls

      Au contraire! It is a well known fact that targets of up-skirt and hidden toilet videos eventually date or marry their beloved voyeurs.

      1. glamourdammerung

        I think there should be the same policy for the "interviewers" that try to speak over the president as well.

        And furthermore, I have yet to see where she is banned. There was a statement that was pretty clear that she was not banned, but had to follow the same rules as the rest of the press corps pool. So this whole mess is dishonest, and the reporter is at best whining that they should somehow merit special treatment.

        1. iburl

          Reporters should only remove the ball gag and blindfold when instructed to by their royal highness, er, the president.

  8. user-of-owls

    'Contemporary' reporters are crass and vulgar, barely a step above 'Country Casual' reporters. My taste runs much more to either Dada or Bauhaus reporters.

      1. weejee

        And after all this Haus Windsor stuff today. At least our feathered friend when speaking of Dada was most likely talking about Max Ernst and Marcel Duchamp et al and not Idi Amin.

        1. Limeylizzie

          I have a bit of a thing for the uniforms and a rich fantasy life involving me as a French/British spy dropped behind enemy lines,it's evident if you scroll through my posts or just ask anyone.

  9. Hatrabbit

    I have no sympathy, she was clearly warned that Obama's phantom knee was NOT available for interviews.

  10. Hatrabbit

    Did the embarrassing video have anything to do with a 'certain President' handing his ass to the Republican party in exchange for a handful of magic beans?

  11. iburl

    Reporters covering our leaders have a sacred duty to cover up and hide information. What was she thinking? Does she want to be tortured like Bradley Manning?

  12. ttommyunger

    For the kind of money Barry raked in he should have allowed cameras in the lavatory with a close-up of him taking a deuce, fer Chrissakes!

    1. BarackMyWorld

      He probably doesn't realize he's downfisting comments criticizing Obama and/or doesn't know how to read.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      If you read the story, it appears that the WH is upset because the "pool" reporter failed to follow the "agreed-on guidelines", which apparently includes the guideline that you can't report that a protest exists.

      Well, isn't that just fucking full of transparency?

      And I'm still gonna vote for this in 2012, because it's much better than the alternative.

      I'm beginning to think it would have been a better plan to be childless.

      1. finallyhappy

        I don't get it as I heard about this protest in detail -this can't be the only person who reported on it?

        1. glamourdammerung

          No one cared about the reporting on it. Videotaping it with a camera phone was the apparent issue. If someone is going to be invited to a function to cover it, I simply can not see what all the gnashing of teeth over making them follow certain rules is causing.

  13. iburl

    Shooting a cell phone video of a bunch of protesters singing is in no way disruptive. Sorry, but I'll side with a newspaper over a White House press secretary almost every time:

    from the SF Chron:
    Update: In a pants-on-fire moment, the White House press office today denied anyone there had issued threats to remove Carla Marinucci and possibly other Hearst reporters from the press pool covering the President in the Bay Area.

    Chronicle editor Ward Bushee called the press office on its fib:

    Sadly, we expected the White House to respond in this manner based on our experiences yesterday. It is not a truthful response. It follows a day of off-the-record exchanges with key people in the White House communications office who told us they would remove our reporter, then threatened retaliation to Chronicle and Hearst reporters if we reported on the ban, and then recanted to say our reporter might not be removed after all.

    The Chronicle's report is accurate.

    If the White House has indeed decided not to ban our reporter, we would like an on-the-record notice that she will remain the San Francisco print pool reporter.

    I was on some of those calls and can confirm Ward's statement.

    Messy ball now firmly in White House court.

    Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/bronstein/det

    1. glamourdammerung

      So they are telling the truth because they claim they are telling the truth?


      Got a bridge for sale or some "ACORN sting" videos too, for good measure?

      1. iburl

        So, it's all some grand conspiracy by the (Conservative Standardbearer?) San Francisco Chronicle to make the White House press office look bad.

        I guess we all have to live in our own reality tunnel.

        1. glamourdammerung

          I fail to see how doubting a reporter is going to say they made something up when called on it is a conspiracy.

  14. donner_froh

    Phil Bronstein–wasn't he married to Sharon Stone a few years ago and then got his foot eaten by a tiger in the zoo?

    Or something like that.

    No wonder he is stuck in newspapers.

      1. glamourdammerung

        Komodo dragons are from Indonesia, right?


  15. Negropolis

    Hell, I wish he'd banish Jake Tapper and Chip Reid from the press pool, already. They get to ask Fox News questions, but without the official branding of being Fox contributors.

    It's weird they'd banish her for what she did. My personal take on that was that the video of that event actually made the president look sensible. That's the kind of video I'd want to get out. I thought it showed just how polite and sophisticated our side can be to one another, even during protests. The good ladies got their point across, and the president let them finish their protests. Meh.

Comments are closed.