The four-year, $376 million construction project is being supervised by the General Services Administration (GSA), which says the work is needed to upgrade underground utilities such as water and sewer lines and electrical conduits. [...]
The congenitally suspicious White House press corps speculates endlessly on what really is being built. One theory is that a tunnel, visible in the construction, is an underground escape route for the president between the West Wing and the adjoining office building. Not so, says the GSA. “The structure is a utility access pathway,” Ms. Merriam says.
Nice try, White House. Obviously this is Obama’s S&M dungeon. Or he’s hiding a bunch of dead bodies. Because when you see your neighbors doing construction, it’s always one of those two things, or probably both. [CS Monitor]
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Presidents don't need S&M dungeons, they've been brutally fucking the whole country in broad daylight for decades.
Surely he can use the one in the former Cheneybunker?
All the glory holes in Cheney's dungeon were "too small", so it was just cheaper to re-do the whole thing…
No cameras allowed in the Sex Room: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCQbV1S4nAs
White House oubliettes, hopefully. Gibbets are too melodramatic.
True, that Guantanimo oubliette isn't convenient at all.
Bradley Manning's seems to be working just fine, tho
I agree with the thought that if your neighbor is doing construction they are hiding dead bodies. The other clue is that they are always selling Domino's Pizza uniforms in various sizes at their garage sales and they walk around muttering, "damn lying squirrels"
"The congenitally suspicious White House press corps": Christian Scientists have such a delightful sense of humor.
haha. Indeed.
"Dick Cheney's study committee determined objectively that Dick Cheney was the best candidate for Vice President? Sounds logical."
"Sadam's got WMDs, okay, we'll report that."
"Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no taxes, yeah, that sounds right."
"Lowering taxes increases federal revenue. Seems illogical but I went to J-school, so I'll just print what you said."
"So you're telling me there're two sides to the debate on evolution? I guess there'd have to be, or there wouldn't be a debate!"
"Well, even though water-boarding sounds like torture, the White House says it isn't, so we have to go along or lose our seat in the press room."
"Spiro Agnew has a high IQ? Okay, if the White House says so."*
______________________
*Oldie but goodie from the Nixon era
Yeah, their suspicions only crop up about the irrelevant and trivial. Life-altering shit just sails right over their dim little noggins.
I don't care if it's for S&M or to hide the bodies, just as long as he lures GW & Cheney down there for a little look-see.
Maybe the Guantanamo Bay prisoners and Bradley Manning will be moved here?
Cue Tom Waits~
"…what's he building in there?…"
"I'll tell you one thing he's not building a playhouse for the children…"
he has no friends
but he gets a lot of mail…
What's he building in there?
"And he used to have a consulting business in Indonesia…"
Working on a building, a holy ghost building?
Sure, they wait until a Brown family lives there. No water or toilets for you Obummers.
"Birth Certificate Viewing Room"
I bet you're right…although Barry is playing a dangerous game. Some of the Teabaggers might have read The Cask of Amontillado.
After God smote the White House with lightening the other day, I'd want a more secure place to have buttsecks, too.
Nice, a new atom-bomb escape subway, obvs. The worlds most expensive, technologically advanced fraidy-hole. Project was probably started by Cheney who was always bugging out. (Sad truth is, Cheney probably isn't all that cowardly, the public announcements of his spending time in a secret bomb shelter was more likely psy-ops, designed to keep the public scared so we would support the war). (Of course, conducting psy-ops on the US public is illegal, add it to the long list of things those two pricks are guilty of.)
It puts the lotion in the basket…
I just wanna be there when he puts on the lipstick and has a press conference in the Rose Garden wearing skin suit he's made from Boehner, Ryan, and Scalia.
Because cigarettes, Schock santorum and garlic farts smell so good together.
When they didn't buy the long-form birf certif, it became prudent to have a Fuhrerbunker.
Will he be keeping ball-gagged Joe Biden in a trunk down there?
Also, $376 million dollars? Wat?
"Bring out The Gaffe."
The price of PVC has gone way up lately, pal…
(..cleans teeth with toothpick…)
It's just an escape route for when the teabaggers show up on the white house lawn with white hoods and burning crosses.
"The four-year, $376 million construction project…"
Everybody who watches HGTV knows home remodels take two days and $2000. Perhaps the White House should hire Vern Yip instead of Boehner's cousin Joey.
You know who else had an underground lair nearby?
Captain Nemo?
Oswald Cobblepot?
Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot AKA the Penguin
John Wayne Gacy?
Chester Copperpot (the Goonies)
Doctor Evil (is that too obvious?).
Batman and Orly (Batswoman) Taitz?
You never know when you're going to need an underground railroad.
This one stretches all the way to Kenya!
I call bullshit! Everybody knows ferrets will do the job faster and cheaper!
Obviously this is Obama’s S&M dungeon
About time he went medieval on the teabaggers' asses…
It's the next stop on the Underground Railroad. Obama is hell bent on making it to Canada and freedom.
DON'T DRINK THE WHITE HOUSE KITCHEN'S ELDERBERRY WINE!!!
Goddamn it I can't get in a comment without someone else already made it. Fine Wonkettz. Be that way.
i think 'construction' is scarier than anything they may be actually putting down there.
Am I too late? Have they already picked the Official White House Gimp?
More like reconstruction, amirite?
"Underground escape route"? WTF? Do they think the Canadians are going to attack us with nuclear ninjas or something? FFS….
I'm too classy for XTube. Youporn all the way!
And what happened to your whip? Did the IntenseDebate migration force it from you?
They tried. I have secreted it away somewhere on my person.
Michelle's safeword: Hillary. Guaranteed to stop all action in its tracks.
Mistress Liz's House of Pain.
It's going to be connected with the Denver airport.
If I had Michelle Obama's third hand, I'd give that one three upfists.
Have no fear, Citizens. This project is not nearly as extensive as advertised. I know much more about the General Services Administration than I ever wanted to and I can assure you that at least 90% of this money will go to fraud, waste and abuse. You may wind up with some new drapes or carpet in the end, no more.
The question is – does the carpet match the drapes?
Sounds pretty much like China!
Shhhh. He's tunneling out.
Just like the Shawshank Redemption, one teaspoon at a time…
Except this time, President Morgan Freeman gets out, too.
Where do you think the soil for the White House organic garden came from?
nightsoil, right?
A secret masjid?
A charnel house?
A hydroponic arugula plantation?
A tunnel to the Anacostia River, where there is erected an eldritch, ancient grim glowering shrine to the Great Old Ones where Barry and Michelle will await the coming of Great Cthulhu?
A tunnel to the Anacostia River, just like in Shawshank Redemption.
mosque, obvs
Nobody wants Cheney's leftovers. *shudder*
Where the fuck was their curiosity hiding when Cheney was doing mining excavation under the VP residence? I still want to know what sort of freakbunker was installed under there.
Cleaning Jeff Gannon's jism off the walls is a biohazard and they couldn't find any bidders who would do it for any price…
Obviously, the Trump's offer to build the World's Greatest Ballroom is being pursued under the covers.
Seriously, though. $376 Millfuckingion dollars. For utility upgrades? You can buy the best part of of a pointless air supremacy fighter for that kind of money.
This construction under the White House is connected with Kenya and the One World Government somehow, I know it is…
Ya build a border fence, ya gotta have a tunnel. For weed.
What's he building
What a wish! The country would shut down what with all the work being done.
Oh, God….one year of litigation from, by and for poor people who know what living in a poorly governed hell hole is like. Teatards would explode and the rest of us would have governance we could believe in.
What's he building in there?
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