AMERICA'S GREAT ARTISTS  4:03 pm April 29, 2011

Schmaltz Artist Pulls American Jesus Prints From ‘Liberal’ BYU Shop

by Ken Layne

Don't the trees look like crucified thieves?Did you hear about liberal hate site “Groupon” sponsoring the racist Donald Trump’s racism? Groupon, you’re fired! What’s next? How about those liberals at the Mormon university? Yeah, how about them? A guy who makes prints of Jesus and the GOP Presidents and the Troops has pulled his precious artworks from the Mormon Church-owned Brigham Young University bookstore because … liberals? Yes. They were too liberal. So now you have to get this kind of art the same way everybody else does: by searching “Never Forget” on Google Images.

Newspaper, report on these doings!

The painting, “One Nation Under God” depicts Jesus Christ standing near the U.S. Capitol and the Supreme Court building with a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Flanking him are figures from American history — including Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan — along with soldiers from various wars. In one corner, McNaughton depicts those he sees as having “pushed our country toward socialism” — a Supreme Court justice, a politician, a Hollywood producer, a professor, a “liberal news reporter.”

But you won’t find this art at the liberal Mormon BYU shop anymore, because for some reason this crap artist thinks BYU is a liberal stronghold or something, who even knows. [Salt Lake Tribune via Wonkette Operative "Dan G."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 229 comments }

memzilla April 29, 2011 at 3:34 pm

He got kicked right in the tabernacles!

Lucidamente1 April 29, 2011 at 3:35 pm

That's almost as crazy as founding a religion on a set of golden plates some angel told you to find.

OneDollarJuana April 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm

That's almost as crazy as founding a religion on a set of golden plates you told everyone else some angel told you to find.

/fixed

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 3:53 pm

"That's almost as crazy as founding a religion on a set of golden plates some angel white salamander told you to find."

widestanceroman April 29, 2011 at 4:00 pm

That's almost as crazy as founding a religion.

/fixed

ManchuCandidate April 29, 2011 at 4:05 pm

You should be E-metered for that comment.

SorosBot April 29, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Well founding a religion isn't crazy; it's a good way to get money from the rubes, along with your pick of who you want to play with your genitals. It's following the obvious bullshit artist that's crazy.

poncho_pilot April 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

did you try to bullshit last week?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBIxGjSHzF8

AJW@[redacted] April 29, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Hail, Comicus!

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 29, 2011 at 4:12 pm

That's almost as crazy as founding a religion on a set of stone tablets some cloud told you to find.

smitallica April 29, 2011 at 4:39 pm

BLASPHEMY!
THhis phony horseshit cult is based on golden plates an ARCHangel told a convicted fraud to find.
HUGE diff.

GOPCrusher April 29, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Those of us that follow the One True Lord and Savior, Spongebob Squarepants, concur.

Lascauxcaveman April 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

He touches us with his… uh, spongy appendage?

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 12:48 am

And lo, were we sunk to the bottom of the sea to live the rest of eternity in the pineappled palace. And yea, did he rise in glory to wipe up all of the inequities on land for our salvation.

LiveToServeYa May 1, 2011 at 8:10 am

Well, he's more liberal than the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his pirate fetish. All beings are equal in the eyes of 'Pants.

nounverb911 April 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Needs more wives.

jdoleman April 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I like the weeping Liberal in the bottom right but who is the guy counting the money beside him? Such deep layers of complexity, like all great art, I could study it for literally seconds.

DrunkIrishman April 29, 2011 at 3:44 pm

A Jew, of course.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm

At least they have the token black guy there on the left holding his Holy Trinity autograph book.

OneDollarJuana April 29, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Looks kinda like Santorum.

genxr April 29, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Donald Trump?

FidoMcCokefiend April 29, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Great, this means we're getting a new picture featuring Joseph Smith, Smug Liberal Activist Judge/Journalists, Obama, Muslims, Robbie Bosco, and Michael Moore dropping a deuce on the constitution while Reagan, Beck, Palin, Jefferson, and "everyman" look on in horror.

James Michael Curley April 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Make that on black velvet with eyes that see you where ever you are in the room and you have a sale.

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Or do it in glow in the dark, like the Jesus I saw at the Knott's Berry Farm theme park when I was 12 and thought was really, really so awesome that I bought a little copy to take home with me.

Now that's religion!!!

HedonismBot May 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Must contain a creepy little child with great big eyes, crying and holding a puppy. Or a little Jesus child, crying and holding Ronald Reagan.

James Michael Curley May 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Why is the child crying? Is the puppy dead? Why is the little Jesus crying? Is Ronald Reagan dead?

HedonismBot May 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

You've never seen those paintings before? I've never understood why they are so popular, or who would buy them. Mark Ryden made a career playing off this style of art. This person's blog has one, scroll about 3/4 down the page, unless she updates soon, then scroll further.
And why yes, Ronald Reagan is dead. http://allisonmason.wordpress.com/

natoslug April 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Apparently my dictionary is broken and I've been deluding myself for decades? Having spent time surrounded by Mormons, I have to ask, what the fuck is a liberal? 'Cuz my dictionary and I sure as hell would not have classified your average Mormon as a lib.

genxr April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Only communists use dictionaries. Real Murkins use conservapedia.

poncho_pilot April 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

i remember, as a child, some weird mormon guy asking my mom, out of nowhere, if she douched. for no apparent reason. is that a liberal thing to do?

RavenRant April 29, 2011 at 9:44 pm

There are no 'average Mormons'. They are all above average.

zhubajie April 29, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Above average in what? Gullibility?

RavenRant April 29, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Chalkboard diagrammin’.

DonnyKerabotsos April 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Is that available on velvet?

pukebot April 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm

franklin, lincoln, washington, reagan, christ. that's one kick ass pick up basketball team.

Gratuitous World April 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm

but at BYU you can't play if you're diddling out-of-wedlock. Sorry franklin. keep those warm-ups on.

genxr April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

It's no good when your star center has the gout, anyway.

poncho_pilot April 29, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Lincoln is spindly looking but i bet he'd be good defending the net. Franklin might get worn out fast but he's crafty.

Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Kobe Bryant in "Space Jam II"!

ManchuCandidate April 29, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I'm surprised the art doesn't have "fake" "love they neighbor" Araby Looking Jeebus getting gang raped by the Koch Brothers while white muscular war Jeebus wacks off Dick Cheney.

SorosBot April 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Ah yes, I remember snarking on that horrid painting; good times. Anyone able to dig up that old post, and the parody that webcomic guy did?

natoslug April 29, 2011 at 4:08 pm

http://wonkette.com/411524/gahh-the-jesus-paintin

Just clicking the link brought me to orgasm, anticipating that Marvelous Work and Wonder (extra p-points in my mind to anyone who unfortunately immediately gets the reference).

SorosBot April 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Thanks! It's fun reading our old comments too.

not that Dewey April 30, 2011 at 9:30 am

Indeed; there's even some from Hobospacejunkie : (

and Neilist, when he was funny. It doesn't seem so long ago.

Crank_Tango April 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm
DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Who was the one who went through that thing and added the awesome explanations of the symbolism?

SorosBot April 29, 2011 at 5:32 pm

That was shortpacked, the webcomic guy I mentioned above. The original also had really serious, stupid explanations of the symbolism and explained who everybody was – but the painter didn't seem to realize how many of the founding fathers he included were non-Christian.

Crank_Tango April 29, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Crank_Tango April 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm

talk about showing up late to the party…

edgydrifter April 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm

God damned hippie Mormons. Stoner transvestite socialists, the whole lot of them! Go back to your drum circle, Brigham! American Jesus does not approve.

LabRodent April 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Downfisty respect the Jesus snark and he will grant you 3 wishes. (Its worth a try im quite sure you loves Jesus…dont you….i know you do.

SheriffRoscoe April 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

If you read between the lines of the story you'll realize that the Dean of the art department had had enough of the snide remarks at his dinner parties.

Rotundo_ April 29, 2011 at 5:06 pm

I imagine about the fifth time some smart ass presented him with a velvet Elvis or something ("I saw it at your gift shop and couldn't resist *snicker, chuckle snort*) it started going from embarrassing to infuriating. Even religious folk, amazing as it may seem, have their limits for the amount of crap they can absorb.

prommie April 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Who could ever have expected that the man who painted One Nation Under God would be such a right-wing fundie nutbag that he would think the mormons are too liberal?

ph7 April 29, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Other than the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Constitution, and The Marriott Hotel Directory, books are inherently liberal.

natoslug April 29, 2011 at 4:03 pm

The Bible is still inherently liberal, hence the need for the new Conservative Edition, coming out any time now. Any time. Right . . . about . . . now? Ah, fuck it — rewritin's hard. And considering the "pool the wealth" policies of the LDS church, the Book of Mormon is probably too liberal as well. And all that socialist crap about "perfect unions," "common defence" and "general welfare" (where's Major Pain, dammit!?), that Constitution thing's looking a bit iffy. We should be safe and burn everything other than Ron Paul's grocery list.

jdoleman April 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm

The "Artist explains his reasoning here and you can click on each figure and get an explanation,
http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?a

Words fail.

PubOption April 30, 2011 at 9:40 am

I moved my cursor across the painting, to get McNaughton's description of what he was painting. I suspect some of the text needs revising to meet Republican orthodoxy, especially with regards to the teacher. Also Frederick Douglass and Susan B. Anthony are included among the good guys.

iburl April 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm

"BYU is a liberal stronghold or something"

Actually, they do read there. Books even, so yeah, Sochalizm.

mavenmaven April 29, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Explain to me again how a work in the style of Soviet Socialist Realism is celebrated by so-called conservatives?

Doktor Zoom April 30, 2011 at 11:28 am

But…it's got Jesus in it! It is therefore good art, especially since He is not immersed in urine.

You know, sorta like Abbie Hoffman's old bumper sticker that said "FUCK COMMUNISM."

DrunkIrishman April 29, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Look at that whore single mother asking Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for a handout. Jesus won't have any of that.

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Jesus doesn't do anything for free. He's no commie. And besides, how would you appreciate a miracle without paying for it?

GunToting[Redacted] April 29, 2011 at 4:26 pm

A miracle is a fuckin' valuable thing.

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 1:17 am

Golden, even. You don't just give something like that away.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:44 pm

That painting looks like it should painted on velvet.

elviouslyqueer April 29, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Meh. Needs moar Buddy Jesus.

widestanceroman April 29, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Smile, Jesus Upfists You.

Gratuitous World April 29, 2011 at 3:46 pm

so now where can i get a print of jesus with the wives of Joseph Smith?!

i'm not going to youporn.

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Where you'd find everything for good conservatives…. .www.redtube.com.

loulouroo April 29, 2011 at 3:46 pm

I won't even consider art without rollover explanations anymore. Personal interpretation smacks of the gaycommiemuslim agenda!

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 5:10 pm

This could be a major new cottage industry to save art for the great museums. Imagine seeing the National Gallery in London with thumbnails of the paintings alongside the real one, explaining the symbolism. Should I copyright the idea immediately?

mavenmaven April 29, 2011 at 3:46 pm

apparently their Jesus is a bisexual perv: http://www.jesus-withyoualways.com/images/BODYBUI

blinky_twinkie April 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

A juicer at the very least…

DashboardBuddha April 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm

bisexual AND bi-racial. Is that the only black person in the collection? Oh dear.

UW8316154 April 30, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Jesus is the one in the middle, right?

phlox✔ April 29, 2011 at 3:46 pm

That awesome artwork is just begging to be Blingied. Begging, I tell you.

ColonelDoctor April 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Why is Obi-Wan Kenobi one of the bad guys on the right? And what about the pregnant lady? What did she do?

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 5:11 pm

She's bummed out because she couldn't afford to buy any contraception and she lives in Oklahoma and she can't get an abortion and now she's stuck with this brat.

ColonelDoctor April 29, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Are you from the dust bowl for real?

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 11:41 pm

As real as it gets.

BaldarTFlagass April 29, 2011 at 3:48 pm

WTF is the 9-headed serpent thing on Jesus' t-shirt?

tcaalaw April 30, 2011 at 9:59 am

Jesus was a founding member of the Symbionese Liberation Army.

HistoriCat April 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm

That explains so much …

MittsHairHelmet April 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Dirty good-for-nothin BYU hippies.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I love the dude doing the "jazz hands" to Lincoln.

Mort_Sinclair April 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Say what you want, I LOVE that Jesus is wearing my mother's gold draperies from 1972. I wonder if all that fiberglass will make him itch?

Pithaughn April 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm

The utes were warned, if you cultivate the high tech biz, you will get invaded with people who live to question everything ( aka "scientists" ). I'll assume all readers here are already familiar with the political and religiosity trends in the science community. Hint: trending D and A.

JoshuaNorton April 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Needz moar wingnut clichés.

FidoMcCokefiend April 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Crying eagles?

notreelyhelping April 29, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Well. That wasn't very good, was it? *sound of metal trash lid closing*

GhostBuggy April 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm

One million upfists for the alt text. Now, if only D.C. would slide into the ocean, like the mystics and statistics say it will.

Ducksworthy April 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Lets see. If that rock slide they're predicting (more like half a mountain) happens in the Azores how far up the Washington Monument will the tsumani reach?

ShaveTheWhales April 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm

A belated salute for the Warren ref.

guangho April 29, 2011 at 11:22 pm

I predict the Chinese consulate will still be standing for us to pay our bills.

pinkocommi April 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Remember… The Constitution is the literal word of God. Now if only he had burned a Bush. Or two.

OneDollarJuana April 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm

This Jesus fellow must be some kinda stalker or peeping Thomas.

widget2011 April 29, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Ah for Fucks Sake.

nappyduggs April 29, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Nuh-uhnnh. I log back on to this muthafuckin "Heraclian stone for those who wish to perfect the art of tossing-off some boob references and scat humor" and find all sorts of unappealing shit going down. What's with these haters and the vote-downs? Not that it matters, but Holy-Jesus-Christ -on-a-Motel-6 canvas, Batman. My beloved Wonket is just getting all kinds of hop-ons.

BaldarTFlagass April 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

It's the best of times, it's the blurst of times.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Where's that Paul Gauguin grabbin'/CIA agent crazy bitch when you need her?

OneDollarJuana April 29, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Goddam Jesus is always with me and stealing sips of my beer.

weejee April 29, 2011 at 3:54 pm

I've seen better artwork framed by the seat of an outhouse.

♪♫ I've looked at Repubes from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Lies and illusions I recall
I really don't like Repubes at all ♫♪

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Let's make it a rule from now on that "art" be created by "artists" K?

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I like this one better. It also has the benefit of actually being closer to the truth.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 4:03 pm

That is so cool I posted it on facebook. Fist ups galore.

weejee April 29, 2011 at 4:22 pm

It goes with Pat the Zombie we gave to the grandkids. Big up thumb.

widestanceroman April 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

OMFG, if only that was feasible for avatar use!

timbo71351 April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Would it be wrong to suggest building a reeducation camp for tasteless assholes who paint shit like that and for the tools who buy garbage like that?

fuflans April 29, 2011 at 5:21 pm

oh yes, but please do.

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 1:23 am

We could simply repurpose the FEMA death camps.

Redhead April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Well shit. If they'd kick out a basketball player for having (consensual) sex with his (of-age, female) girlfriend, then they probably kicked out this clown's art work for being the abomination that it is.

SorosBot April 29, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Well that's a sin against the Mormon god; you're supposed to marry your wives first, and do so when they're 13 or 14, then rape them.

Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm

From what I've read, the basketball player's moral offense was being black, because white guys break the moral code by fucking their girlfriends there all the time. (I mean jeez, Jim McMahon, the Bears "punky QB" went there!!) Apparently there is more snitching going on at BYU than East Germany in the '70s, and the selective enforcement comes down on the browns. (Too lazy to look up the deadspin.com URL right now.)

GOPCrusher April 29, 2011 at 5:11 pm

From what I remember, the first person mentioned was Jim McMahon, in which BYU responded that football players are actually housed 10 miles off campus and therefore are not subject to the "Honor Code".

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

This is the kind of art that would have given Jessie Helms a hard on.

KenLayIsAlive April 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I think the kind of art that gave Jesse Helms a hard on were the Mapplethorpe male butt fisting pics he doubtless poured over during his "investigations".

Slim_Pickins April 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I didn't know that "Liberal" was a codeword for Mormon.

widget2011 April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Love that one.

baconzgood April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Symbolism? Symbolism? Symbolic of suckage.

genxr April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

pot-smoking neo-marxists!

qwerty42 April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Maybe the commie liberlz at BYU will accept the follow-up version?

ArmoredBore April 29, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Damn your eyes, you beat me to it!

Well, I guess I can still provide the soundtrack.

Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

This one made me suppress my office-laugh so hard I nearly passed out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFzdIaBnckg&fe

RavenRant April 29, 2011 at 5:59 pm

It's no loljazzcatz, but, yeah, pretty funny.

MinAgain April 29, 2011 at 4:00 pm

It just goes to show that, if you breathe in enough paint fumes, even the Mormons look progressive.

carlgt1 April 29, 2011 at 4:02 pm

>>Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan

hahahaha, none of whom were regular churchgoers, and certainly nothing like the latter-day "born again" idiotic American form of Christianity (let alone Mormonism)!

also, isn't it a bit racist to show Lincoln on bended knee belting out "Mammy" a la Al Jolson?

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 11:46 pm

I think that discerning racism is a bridge way to fucking far for this moron.

BaldarTFlagass April 29, 2011 at 4:04 pm

They sell this kind of shit at the university bookstore? Man, mine had a beer cooler and sold rolling papers, pipe screens, and condoms. Guess that's what I get for going to one of them damned state universities.

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

A friend of mine went to a wedding in SLC a few years back….and they went to the local porn depot (yes, they really had one) to get some "supplies" for the bachelor party. Upon entering, he noticed a glass case that had Bibles and the Book of Mormon next to baby jesus butt plugs and a self-catheterization kit. I guess what I am saying is Mormons are some weird fuckers.

Buckminster April 29, 2011 at 4:06 pm

They should have banned it, not for its political commentary, but because it's crappy art!

BarackMyWorld April 29, 2011 at 4:07 pm

We have nobody at BYU that sits back and says you’re not going to sell that fucking painting.

widget2011 April 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

The only thing good in that painting is Scalia having a seizure.

SmutBoffin April 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

For the record, liberals don't think that the painting is "offensive", they think it's "dumb" and "trite" and "jokeworthy".

Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Surely someone has taken on the project of properly captioning all of those…?

KathrynSane April 29, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I really hoped you were talking about the Bad Religion single.

widget2011 April 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Judge Thomas, not Scalia, doesn't matter.

privatejoker77 April 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I really wish my home state would stop making it on Wonkette.

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Whatever. I'm from AZ. I need to accept where I come from to see how high I've climbed.

GOPCrusher April 29, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I live in Iowa. We just need to remind the rest of the world that not everyone from our states are completely fucked up. In fact, today for lunch, I rolled up next to a fucker that had a "We're taking our country back!" bumper sticker. He about shit gold bricks when I rolled my window down, flipped him off, and informed him that it wasn't his country to take back.
I've just about reached the breaking point with these assholes.

yyyaz April 29, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Seriously. It's amazing how startled the average wingtard is when "someone" actually disagrees with his/her point of view. They just can't seem to grasp that just because they live in a Fauxbeckian bubble, there are those of us around who just cannot manage to get our heads that far up our asses.

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 1:28 am

You've got Steve King, the birthplace of Michele Bachmann, and a crazy-ass Republican Primary. Don't worry, your time is coming around, again.

Weenus299 April 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm
DashboardBuddha April 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Thank you! I was hoping someone would post a link to that.

KenLayIsAlive April 29, 2011 at 4:20 pm

"If you’re looking for a print of Jon McNaughton’s paintings…."

Oh shit. Now where is the ghost of Josef Goebbels supposed to get his hands on these beautiful works?

DashboardBuddha April 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Would it be funny if the complaints at BYU were because it didn't show JC carrying the gold plates?

zhubajie April 29, 2011 at 10:43 pm

I believe von Daeniken revealed a few years ago that the Golden Plates were really a joke by some space aliens!

elviouslyqueer April 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Even better. BeDazzling!

RadioSuperman April 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

El Pinche's blingee pretty much sums it up.

jus_wonderin April 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Not sure if anyone caught this. Lincoln is on his knees. McNaughton is alluding to Honest Abe being gay.

blinky_twinkie April 29, 2011 at 4:30 pm

OMG those are (unintentionally) hilarious!

Ducksworthy April 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Ewwww!

sezme April 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

The artist thinks that BYU stands for Boston Yuniversity. Hence liberalism. QED

MissTaken April 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Gosh I love the Wonkette Oldies But Goodies threads….memories of Cocktobers, GILFs, and gin-soaked assfucking makes my lady bits tingle!

Walkinwiddaking April 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Back then there were a sizable amount of people who would believe this crap. Now, there are people who are sizable and still believe this crap.

smitallica April 29, 2011 at 4:44 pm

It's a painting of Jesus holding the Constitution. And I'm sure he's pointing out to all the assembled people that his name appears nowhere in it.

AJW@[redacted] April 29, 2011 at 5:46 pm

He was the ghostwriter, duh!

BklynIlluminati April 29, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I thought we were going to get a comic strip out of this picture what happened?

Zombie_Reagan April 29, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Your move, Thomas Kinkade.

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:48 am
neiltheblaze April 29, 2011 at 4:53 pm

This fucker is the Thomas Kinkaide of Conservative Propagandists.

GOPCrusher April 29, 2011 at 4:55 pm

The Biker drawing is pretty cool. The skull air cleaner on the bike is a nice touch.

DemmeFatale April 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I also like how "Butt-in-ski Jesus" is giving the guy directions.

GOPCrusher April 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm

He fed a multitude with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread AND DIDN'T CHARGE A SINGLE SHECKLE!

nounverb911 April 29, 2011 at 5:21 pm

He got the bread and fish wholesale.

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:32 am

It was bagels and lox.

$: – 9

poncho_pilot April 29, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Hell man, if you can afford the overhead and Firsty will roll with it, don't pass up the variety of sleeping arrangements!!

natoslug April 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Sigh . . . unfortunately I don't hang out in the right places. There seems to be a dearth of bi-poly women in this area, otherwise I'd give it a shot. Although the rational part of me keeps screaming that keeping two people focused on a common goal is hard enough . . . three pretty much guarantees me an early grave.

Gopherit April 29, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Hahaha! The sister-wives would have a common goal……driving you completely insane.

natoslug April 29, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I'm thinking the poisonings would do me in before the insanity struck.

owhatever April 29, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Cheer, cheer for old BYU.

DemmeFatale April 29, 2011 at 5:17 pm

The "artist" ran out of fun fonts.

mrblifil April 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I thought his whole thing was that he wasn't being political.

fuflans April 29, 2011 at 5:21 pm

there is no way – NO WAY – i am googling 'never again'.

RavenRant April 29, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Better to go to Regretsy and look up their 9/11 'artworks'.

exmartinette April 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

McNaughton's right. Only a liberal would be so broadminded as to allow a crap painting like that to be on view. On the other hand, Lincoln doing Mammy is almost worth it…

AJW@[redacted] April 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I knew it! Thanks!

Chet Kincaid April 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Apparently the Geico Cave Man is always with you, also.

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] April 29, 2011 at 5:46 pm

"…Naughton depicts those he sees as having “pushed our country toward socialism” — a Supreme Court justice, a politician, a Hollywood producer, a professor, a “liberal news reporter.”

YOU FORGOT THE JOOZ, NAUGHTON. Shame on you!

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:49 am

I think that's who the guy counting money in the lower right hand corner is supposed to be, although his nose looks normal to me.

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 1:33 am

Besides the lawyer, he has them covered many times over with the inclusion of the Hollywood producer and probably the professor.

Terry April 29, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Yes, BYU's problem is that the university is too liberal.

RavenRant April 29, 2011 at 5:55 pm

But he made out like a bandit with the water-into-wine schtick.

Warpde April 29, 2011 at 6:29 pm

You know most artists cut off a body part or just outright die to sell their work.
But pulling your putz, sorry, prints because of those dam'd lib's is a new one.

Guppy06 April 29, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Wait! That panting looks familiar!
http://wonkette.com/411469/real-american-records-

And the riveting sequel:
http://wonkette.com/419987/jesus-constitution-pai

Is it possible that Wonkett… forgot?

donner_froh April 29, 2011 at 6:48 pm

"The primary focus of the bookstore is to sell religious art," said Carri P. Jenkins. "This painting has received some negative feedback in the past."

What else would you expect a bookstore, wherever it is located, to sell?

jaytingle April 29, 2011 at 7:50 pm

The image search results referenced above are the greatest I've ever seen, and I look at porn.

ttommyunger April 29, 2011 at 8:21 pm

I classify his management style as small "c" communism with his disciples and the early church, and I can back it up from His own record.

ttommyunger April 29, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Not looking at the "artwork", not googling anything, don't have to. Have a nephew got his degree there and he's still fucked in the head. Single all his life, in his 60's and says he's looking for a Russian wife on the web. Fucking pathetic!

zhubajie April 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm

A couple decades in the born-again ghetto screwed me up, too. Now I'm living in an alternative universe and hoping I'll meet Mrs Right.

ttommyunger April 30, 2011 at 7:11 am

Hope is a wonderful thing, I live within its atmosphere.

DashboardBuddha April 30, 2011 at 8:37 am

Tell him he can find great deals on Russian Amputee Brides (yes, there is such a thing). Just think of it as Cupid's Scratch 'n Dent Sale.

ttommyunger April 30, 2011 at 9:18 am

Stop the world, I want off!

DashboardBuddha April 30, 2011 at 9:51 am

Sorry for the horror, Tom. You will notice, however, that I didn't provide any links. Friends don't link friends to Russian websites.

ttommyunger April 30, 2011 at 10:01 am

In the age of google, there is little need for links, but I appreciate the thought, Dash. I am not going there, but the fact that there is enough demand to support a website gives me the sadz.

Guppy06 April 29, 2011 at 8:32 pm

And look where that got him.

Jesus taught us all that it's better to be a Roman than nailed to a tree.

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:32 am

I would say it's better to be just about any ethnic group than nailed to a tree.

rocktonsam April 29, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Jesus loves his picture taken with WHORES AND THIEVES.

zhubajie April 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Perhaps some Baptist informed him that Mormons are not your standard Brand-X prots, but actually far weirder than the Muslims!

zhubajie April 29, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Put all 8-10 wives to work, while you write/paint/compose/whatever.

ShaveTheWhales April 29, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I'm late here, but holy fuck (with all due respect to Joe and Brig's Amalgamated Pussies).

Fuckwad says BYU is too "liberal"?

Next week, I expect to see him bitching at protons for being too negative.

Why are these people alive?

DustBowlBlues April 29, 2011 at 11:53 pm

What's the sequel? Bloody Jesus on the cross but still waving the red, white and blue? There's a song along those lines, so I can't claim I made it completely from whole (black velvet) cloth.

The song is about Jesus coming to a guy in his dreams and Jesus was waving the flag. The old man and our daughter were sitting in front of the television. Both of them were staring at it with their mouths hanging open. I turned to see WTF and a gospel show from (where else) Branson was on RFDTV and a guy was singing this piece of shit ersatz song.

And that, children, is the inherent danger in obsessive channel surfing. Don't say I didn't warn you.

BZ1 April 29, 2011 at 11:57 pm

McNaughton also has an interesting take on the current administration (and every other Dem prez..) See: http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?a

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:30 am

Yes, that's all very well and good, but it takes the genius that only Thomas Kincaid possesses to envision Jesus on a Lighthouse:
http://www.amazon.com/Kinkade-Tranquility-Figurin

widget2011 April 30, 2011 at 11:15 am

Got one of christ on a cracker?

tessiee April 30, 2011 at 12:53 am

Until I saw the picture that goes along with this article, I'd actually succeeded in forgetting how gross W is.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 30, 2011 at 2:26 am

And he cured the sick, even if they had a pre-existing condition!

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 1:01 am

Especially and particularly so, even. Hell, the dude healed a paralyzed man who had to be lowered through a house roof because the crowds were so big around Jesus H. Christ.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 30, 2011 at 2:28 am

Why dunk when he can get 3, every time?

HistoriCat April 30, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Jesus is a showoff – I bet he likes to wait until the last second then toss the ball over his shoulder for a spectacular basket.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 30, 2011 at 3:08 am

I like how the kid with the John Birch text is on the side of the "good guys".

DashboardBuddha April 30, 2011 at 8:40 am

Someone should paint a picture showing how Reagen, Falwell, the WBC, et al have been driving us toward a a Theocratic Plutocracy.

I'll take Socialism, thank you very much.

Jerri April 30, 2011 at 9:58 am

Yes! I love With You Always Jesus, particularly the bank teller and insurance agent drawings.

Edit: On second thought, particularly all of them! They are all divine.

_DA April 30, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Heeere, fisty fisty fisty…here…fisty fisty. Who's a good boy, hmmm? I've got a nice juicy dick for you to suck on!

HistoriCat April 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm

"Come on Congessman Doctor Paul – let me take care of this one for you. I have healed the lame and the blind and the lepers you know."

UW8316154 April 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Planned Parenthood employee?

Gratuitous World April 30, 2011 at 1:24 pm

reminds me of the classic "Christ Returns to NBA" Onion article. 'Kevin Willis, Why hast thou forsaken me?!!'

GeneralLerong April 30, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Poor Jesus. If he only knew.

VinnyThePooh April 30, 2011 at 9:01 pm

"Y'got any papers, dude?"

catholic4condom May 1, 2011 at 12:07 am

Blasphemy! If Yeshua' of Nazareth was here today he would be in Gitmo.

Negropolis May 1, 2011 at 12:41 am

BYU is so liberal, what with no pre-marital sex and the discouragement of caffeinated beverages and the encouragement of the wearing of magical underwear. Surely this "book store" is the earthly den of Satan, and the sullied Garden of Eden.

_DA May 1, 2011 at 11:10 am

So. Let me see if I have this right. Conservative/wingnut businessman can't keep his fucking mouth shut in the interests of his business when it comes to politics. Wingnut businessman loses business.

That about right?

ghblowhard May 1, 2011 at 11:21 am

How did our only Catholic President get on the One Nation Under God painting? I'm pretty sure JFK was a Democrat! And a Papist!

dahboner May 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Yeah I heard the Mormons never really hated Blacks.

It was the style at the time.

Hey! Did I ever tell you about the time I took a ferry to Shelbyville?

DashboardBuddha April 30, 2011 at 10:09 am

Me too, actually. My Cupid's comment was probably tasteless, but that's my nature. I usually respond with dark humor when faced with the unspeakable.

I would have been a riot at Bush II's inauguration or in Mordor.

ttommyunger April 30, 2011 at 10:15 am

I share your proclivity. I believe it comes from being confronted with total despair. What other recourse other than surrender? Colbert is the master. He delivers a dark stab directly to the heart, yet remains not only non-threatening but likable. What a talent/gift.

ttommyunger April 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

http://www.thehuntforgollum.com/player_film-youtu… Assuming you are a fan. Best with earphones & as large a screen as available.

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