It's been an exciting week of "news," what with Donald Trump releasing his long-form draft card -- which proves that Obama never went to Harvard -- and blah blah blah. Good grief, we almost forgot that Japan's crippled nuclear reactors are still leaking all kinds of unspeakable horrors! Even the lamestream media acknowledges that awful things such as plutonium 239 (a scary-ass isotope with a half life of 24,000 years ) have been detected in places where they definitely shouldn't be. How long do Royal Marriages last? Fifteen years, tops? Oh well. We'll all be inbred mutants in ten years, anyway.
Here is your terrible & recent Nuclear Apocalypse News, listed in no particular order:
"A special adviser to the Japanese government on radiation safety resigned Friday, saying that he was dissatisfied with the handling of the ongoing crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant." [ WSJ ]
"Two robots sent into the reactor No. 1 building at the plant yesterday took readings as high as 1,120 millisierverts of radiation per hour, Junichi Matsumoto, a general manager at Tokyo Electric Power Co., said today. That’s more than four times the annual dose permitted to nuclear workers at the stricken plant." [ Bloomberg ]
"Residents told to evacuate the area around Japan's damaged nuclear power plant are having difficulty finding movers willing to relocate them, officials said." [ UPI ]
"We have a dozen Fukushimas waiting to happen in America." [ Rolling Stone ]
And finally: Here is famous anti-nuclear proliferation activist and physician Helen Caldicott talking about our happy-times future (massive nuclear fallout and lots of cancer for everybody). Is she just trying to frighten us, for fun? Maybe. After all, if Caldicott is a legitimate source, why doesn't she have breaking news about Justin Bieber's new hairdo, like the CNN Political Ticker does?
Have a nice weekend!
Here Is Your Nuclear Holocaust News Roundup
Two robots are sent into the reactor building. The first one -- called Dave -- says, "You ever get your claw stuck in a control retraction gear?" The second one -- #9000" -- "I hate when that happens." "Look -- the humans are watching from a safe distance." "Just a sec, I can read lips. ... uh huh ... plutonium ... uh huh ... contamination ... uh huh ... crushed later. Holy fuck!" Both are quiet, then one starts removing his covers. "What are you doing Dave?" "If I'm going to die, I want to get laid first." "I wish I could quit you!" They kiss. The nuclear pile glows brighter. There's a flash and they join the angels.
We have nobody in Washington that sits back and says you’re not going to leak that fucking radiation on us.