chairman trump of china

Donald Trump’s Crappy ‘Men’s Fashion’ Line Made In China, Of Course

Cretin.Did you know Donald “The Dildo” Trump also has a line of crappy men’s accessories? Apparently true! And you would never ever see such things in real life unless you worked in accounting at some used car dealership in Ocean City, Maryland. But, if for some reason you know one of those CostCo shoppers who legitimately “looks up” to Donald Trump and buys those snake-oil books that never seem to mention how Trump was born rich and still repeatedly went bankrupt and has the morals of an alley cat with none of the charm, then you will want to email this person’s AOL account and let them know that Donald Trump’s crappy neckties and etc. are all made in Communist China.

Donald Trump is so easily and constantly proven to be an actual bag of bullshit wearing an orange wig, we have a hard time thinking he’s not in on the whole joke. Maybe it’s really Andy Kaufman inside that bag of bullshit? Donald Trump claims he’s going to DESTROY China’s manufacturing industry somehow when he magically becomes president of a reality show, and of course he manufactures crap in China to sell to deluded Americans. Donald Trump claims he’s running against an evil African, when Donald is running for nothing and in fact was a vocal supporter of Barack Obama’s campaign and has pathetically been begging to build a free $100 million castle for Barack Obama and also pathetically begging to be made the “oil spill czar” or something, not even a year ago. Donald Trump says he’s going to help the birther conspiracists with their racist Internet war, and then he actually destroys the whole birther movement in what, two weeks? That stuff could’ve gone on for another six years. (Instead, the birthers are now forced to make up far less convincing reasons why a nigra can’t be president, such as “Harvard.”)

But about these Donald Trump brand apparel items:

Donald Trump has emerged in recent years as the nation’s foremost China basher, going after the Asian superpower for undervaluing its currency and for taking American manufacturing and jobs. So it’s at least ironic — and at most an example of gross hypocrisy — that Trump’s own line of men’s wear, the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection, is manufactured in China.

Of course, not all this Jersey Shore: Boardroom mass-market Trump garbage is made in China. The rest is made in Mexico, by illegal aliens, and Bangladesh, by secret Muslims. [Salon War Room]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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    1. JustPixelz

      I kinda feel sorry for China if Trumpette is the best Manchurian candidate they can field.

      Dui bu qi. Forgive us China. The shame is ours for thinking of him as our own.

  1. memzilla

    C'mon Donald, get busy! This bag of hand-selected lightly salted poison rat dicks isn't going to eat itself, you know!

    1. babyeinstein

      the only ones who can hear you are the ones whose chubby little fingers AREN'T jammed into the ears (they fell off, from the diabeetus).

    1. SenileAgitation

      I had occasion not so long ago to look snappy, and a Trump Collection red (Maoist) tie (it quietly SCREAMS power in excess) was just the finishing touch. Chinese moths make silk, ties are silk, Chinese moths are snappy dressers. Now I feel bad, because back then, The Donald was just an unsavory jerkoff, not a freedom felching political opportunist bent on undermining our President during two wars, praise Him. So fine, I'll burn the tie. But I'm keeping the nifty Members Only jacket no matter what you think. Chams De Baron, look out!

    2. Extemporanus

      "If it doesn't have a long-form label, it isn't a Donald J. Trump Signature Collection top quality piece of classy friggin' Oriental-crafted apparel."

    1. SorosBot

      It would be nice to see Trump get seriously injured by a pro wrestler, although only if it was actually real.

  2. nounverb911

    "Maybe it’s really Andy Kaufman inside that bag of shit? "
    Not Andy, Andy would have mud wrestled Sarah Palin on live TV.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    The Donald isn't responsible for having his crap cranked out in China — Pastor Todd makes all of his business decisions.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    Actually, Donald Trump was kidnapped several months ago, and the guy we have been most recently exposed to is actually an impersonator, hired and scripted by the Yes-Men. It's the only explanation.

      1. Extemporanus

        In retrospect, I think the quote actually should've been:

        "I have a great business relationship with the Orientals."

        I'm confident, however, that the "yellow"-related wordplay that follows will make up for my error.

    1. MMathS

      You show me a pair of cuff links that look snappy AND give my child developmental disabilities and I'll be the first guy in line.

      'Til then, buzz off, liburul.

    2. __kth__

      well the blue shirt with the white tab collar was there, just like I pictured it. But I can't find the pinky rings!

  5. baconzgood

    MAN! Don's downward spiral is worse than Sarah's. It looks like Don's little bubble that he's built in his mind is starting to implode. Mr. T. Baconz got some advice fer ya: You are a two bit con-man with a shady past. If you want to throw your hat into the ring of body politic you have to be at least an eight bit con-man with a past that must be hidden at all costs.

    These dudes aren't some interns fresh out of NYU. These douche bags play for keeps.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "Don's downward spiral is worse than Sarah's."
      Nah, I think they're about the same, it's just that Trump's spiral is a lot tighter; i.e. Sarah's is Archimedean/arithmetic, Donald's is Bernoullian/logarithmic.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        What you are missing is that his "downward spiral" in fact means that he is the perfect candidate in the eyes of 'baggers. Hell, is Sister Sarah really wants to run, she needs to bring the crazy, and not just rely on some intern posting tweets for her.

      2. Extemporanus

        And the Republican presidential field as a whole is a Mandelbrot set scrawled by a crayon-eating retarded racist eight-year-old.

  6. BZ1

    Is that what he meant when the Donald said he deals with the Chinese? He sourced out the cheapest way to make his cr**py suits?!

  7. Gopherit

    Donald the Dildo? So, you're telling me thats a merkin on his head? Because that would actually make sense.

  8. elviouslyqueer

    Oh c'mon Ken, you can't make zillions of dollars without exploiting at least a little of that sweet, sweet slave commie sweatshop labor.

  9. ManchuCandidate

    Hypocrisy is the Trump "brand" anyway.

    Who else would peddle a course on how to get rich to rubes? It's much easier to be born into a wealthy family like Trump was than getting a great idea putting all the effort/agony/hard work/begging for capital then making a fortune.

  10. Beowoof

    I have always passed when I have seen the Trump label figuring it was probably cheaply made and in no way would I ever support a cheap huckster. And this was before the birther bullshit. Now, I wouldn't use his clothing to shine my shoes.

  11. Redhead

    He's ALMOST as hypocritical and ignorant as the teabaggers! Not quite there, but certainly getting closer. He's a lock for the Repugnicant nomination (and another year of laughs), for sure!

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I think he's worse. They have to wait on the Koch Brothers for funding. He's got NBC at his disposal.

  12. Ruhe

    "Maybe it’s really Andy Kaufman inside that bag of shit?" Haha! The Donald is secretly the libtard version of Francisco d'Anconia, a crypto-commie industrialist mole, destroying the Republican movement from the inside.

  13. Rosie_Scenario

    Trump's "Vulgarian" line of Men's accessories: The gloves have extra short fingers.

    1. DahBoner

      I prefer Michael Jackson's line of sequined fingerless gloves. Very handy for digging through dumpsters, while being quite elegant…

  14. DaRooster

    Hey folks, c'mon… Trump doesn't have the time or enough gumshoes to track where the stuff for his own companies is produced. He has far too much wrapped up in birth certificate research and ballroom design… Leave Donald Alone!

  15. aguacatero

    Donald "J." Trump, huh?

    Jackoff? Jackblack? Jaime? Jerkwad? Jellohair? Johnson?

    Update: The Google says "John." Also apt.

  16. memzilla

    You know, the laws of probability indicate that Donald Segretti, Karl Rove, and Lee Atwater might have good Doppelgangers, and they're working for the Dems. Or so we can hope.

    I will console myself with the image of Molly Ivins in Heaven, doing a spit-take of fine bourbon, snorting, as she laughs at the Republicans' continuing outing of themselves. Bless their hearts.

  17. littlebigdaddy

    I would just like to point out that trump is a regional British slang term for fart. Thank you.

  18. Warpde

    "The rest is made in Mexico, by illegal aliens,"__My gawd. illegal m'erican workers are taking away the jobs in Mexico from Mexican's? How is Brewer going to take this?

    1. emmelemm

      Plus, their yowling all night long is still less annoying to listen to than D. Trump talking. (Bloviating, that is.)

  19. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    Iraq war.
    Abu Gharib.
    Habeus corpus.
    Economic collapse.
    "Gay marriage is more a threat to this nation than al-Qaeda."
    "Reagan proved that deficits don't matter."
    "Conservation is, at best, a person virtue."
    "So long the from the world's biggest polluter."

    Better now?

    1. babyeinstein

      whew, thanks for that. my head was starting to stop spinning around like linda blair in whatsit, "the excrementist."

  20. SorosBot

    Well Donald must really be happy that he's succeed in getting all the extra attention he wanted. Maybe there is such a thing as bad publicity.

  21. emmelemm

    Honestly, this IS getting out of hand. Trump is either *supremely* punking us all, or he really is the most deluded person on the face of the Earth (genuine possibility)!

    He doesn't seem to realize that things he may have said or done in the past are, in fact, preserved for posterity on videotape, printed materials, or even just in electrons. Also, that there's such a thing as public records, and every last one of his dealings is going to be scrutinized, and they're not going to hold up to scrutiny.

    It's madness, I tells ya, madness!

  22. jus_wonderin

    Now how did I know this would be how Donald would operate. Wonkette, your truths are killing my soul.

  23. Gopherit

    slightly OT, but that picture looks like the starting point of his strategy to get OPEC to lower their oil prices. Jesus, slow down, big boy. Even Dubya held hands first.

  24. timbo71351

    The worst part is that it turns out that thing sitting on top of his head was also made in China. Oh, the hypocrisy!

  25. Quayle2012_KNOT

    You people have no class. Donald Trump was a standout student at an excellent, excellent college. And if you've been following his leading role in international affairs (e.g., fleecing Quaddafi on a real estate deal), you'd know he's got some secret plan to screw the Chinese and reverse our terrible, terrible trade deficit. You may have failed to notice Mr. Trump's highly distinguished taste in exceedingly brash, monochromatic ties, but believe me, they scare the hell out of the Democrat Party! Donald Trump: Live Like Him!!

    1. genxr

      Step 1: Offer to build the grandest ballroom in China…
      Step 2: ?
      Step 3: Bankruptcy! (and profit)

    2. genxr

      I like how your handle endorses adding Don Knotts to the Quayle ticket. That's just the sort of out-of-the-box thinking we need!

    3. 102415

      Live like him? I can't afford to borrow money from those people. The vig would finish me. Still I like your style. Upfist.

  26. DemonicRage

    Go on http://www.Macy' to view his shirts and ties. He prolly has suits as well. Who would have guessed that, when he isn't dispatching his flying monkeys to investigate things, he sits in an atelier, channeling Yves St. Laurent, designing things!

  27. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Questionable Birth Certificate? Check.

    Strong ties with China and the Communist? Check.

    Isn't it great that the GOP's and 'bagger's great white hope is in fact more like the Obama they fear than Obama could ever be. Plus none of the morals or family values. I guess being a racist wins over being a hypocrit.

  28. donner_froh

    The difference between business journalism (sic) and political reporting:

    Business journalist: Mr. Trump can I suck your cock, just for a moment, please, sir?

    Political reporter: Mr. Trump since you are running for President I plan to uncover every scandal, inconsistency and outright lie. Starting now.

    Ha Ha–Fuck you very much, Trump. This is going to be a good ride.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Haha, the political reporter is too busy sucking Pentagon/DoD/White House cock to uncover anything. Just in general.

  29. Weenus299

    Donald Trump is so 80s. Why is he even on the Wonkett? Put Rubik's Cube on here, or Don Johnson and his vomit bad sockless-shirtless pastel suit getups. Cocaine. Michael Jackson, Ronald Reagan, mall bangs. Spare me this nostalgia crap!

  30. bumfug

    I'll have you know that Trump ties are worn by accountants at the finest used car lots in Rehoboth Beach!

    1. Barb

      Love Rehoboth Beach!

      Bum, Donald REALLY likes to be in the white hot spotlight. What do you think Jay, Conan, Craig, Dave, Jon, Colbert, et al. are gonna be talking about tonight?

      1. bumfug

        Dave, I'm sure, will be talking about "that thing on his head" like always and Jay will have some obvious one-liners his writers found in the comments on Wonkette. Unless Trump is on the show, in that case Jay will be slurping at his butt.

          1. bumfug

            As will Stewart. An old friend of mine who's here in L.A. now was a writer for the Daily Show in 2000 when I went to NYC to be on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He got me a couple of last minute seats at the show and I was even more impressed with John Stewart than I had been previously. Super intelligent and a really nice guy.

          2. Barb

            Bum, Letterman does get old with that crap, doesn't he? I attended a taping of his show and someone brought a bust of Bill Clinton, made of french fries. During the break they passed it around. I was horrified when it landed in my lap. The camera came back on and Letterman asks me, "Ma'am, would you like some ketchup with that?" and I hollered up to him, "Nah, ketchup is the condiment of the damned" The minute it came out of my mouth I was like "wtf did I just say?" and somehow, people thought it was funny, go figure.

          3. NorthStarSpanx

            TMI bumfug (and Barb) now the trolls will set in on you like white on rice (not on brown rice, that's too ethnic.)

            I find you all terribly interesting however. Can I stalk you?

          4. bumfug

            Oooo. I'm terrified. I've always said what I think and in the old days it was on stage, using my own name. If it's too scary to speak your own mind under your own name in America these days then fuck America. My name is Rudy Reber and if they want to put me on a no-fly list, I'll take the fucking train.

          5. NorthStarSpanx

            You mean we are fucking posting against the wit of professional comedians on this site? I quit.

            Sorry about you not becoming a Millionaire. The better way to do it these days seems to be by being picked from obscurity to become a political stone-thrower with nothing to back it up, or getting pregnant before graduating high school and advocating abstinence.

  31. CapeClod

    Its CPAC's fault for making him a speaker at their annual circle jerk. As soon as he saw all the low foreheads hanging on his every word, he knew there was an opportunity to exploit to his advantage.

  32. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    You know, Trump looks a bit like a melted wax figurine of Robert Redford, at least from a distance, if you squint and stab shrimp forks into your eyes.

    1. Poor_Mr.Corsi_lol

      So they both want to raise taxes, deal with our enemies, cut and run after attacks, raise the deficit, raise the debt, increase government, and negotiate with terrorists. SWEET !!

        1. Poor_Mr.Corsi_lol

          But one thinks he is a leader of men and the other thought he was a garden shrub.

  33. anniegetyerfun

    I can at least take comfort in the fact that Trump, like all men with huge egos, goes home every night, gets dressed in pink lingerie, and has his mistress flog him with chains while he sucks his thumb and pees all over himself.

    Oh, wait, did I say "comfort"? I meant, "someone please kill me".

    1. GOPCrusher

      At least you didn't include a toilet seat around his neck, because that would just be creepy.

  34. Gopherit

    He really is more like a fratboy's flesh light. Looks more useful than it is, is crusty and disgusting inside, and has fucked up hair on it.

  35. __kth__

    Donald Trump seemed to believe that, despite all the don't-tread-on-me national greatness blather coming from the teatards and their defenders, they're really all about hating the swarthies and cheap fuel for their RVs now and forever amen.

    Pardon me, just now I seem to have forgotten why I don't like this guy.

  36. thefrontpage

    Every time you wear a Trump Apparel Jacket, and take it off, you want to wear it again an hour later.

  37. thefrontpage

    Instead of those "Inspected by…" pieces of paper, inside Trump Apparel clothes, there are little fortune cookie predictions.

  38. user-of-owls

    Wait, the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection? I didn't know that illiterates even had signatures?

  39. ttommyunger

    Sadly, I can top that: I got out of the Army before they started wearing a completely non-fuctional piece French Headgear (also) made in fucking China, believe it or not.

  40. MiniMencken

    And when will the Trumper demand the public see that scandalous video taken by Todd Palin of Sarah and Bristol administering a punishment enema of Alaskan ice water to Piper? Enquiring minds want to know!

  41. horsedreamer_1

    Quiet, now. If we do that, Ken will end up having to deal with Hal Sparks & Andrew "Dice" Clay squatting on the Wonkette Ranch.

  42. horsedreamer_1

    Trump's doing this so he can catch the Chinamen off their guard. Make nice, make nice, make nice — then, boom, air-strikes.

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