THE REAL DELTA FORCE  1:46 pm April 27, 2011

Chuck Norris’ ‘Pastor’ Writes All of His Plagiarized Columns

by Jack Stuef

The best pastors are the kind who lie for a living.Since your Wonkette cracked the case on Chuck Norris’ hilariously poorly veiled plagiarism in his columns, the professional kicker’s people have refused to talk to us, and his syndicate, which still feautures Norris on its website, has refused multiple requests for comment. Yes, the man whose entire public persona is based on kicking people’s faces off is afraid of some dumb political joke blog. Creators Syndicate has since edited Norris’ most recent column to at least credit the news sources from which whole sentences were lifted, but they have yet to take action on the new instances of plagiarism we found yesterday; those articles remain unchanged on Creators’ website. Also, this should probably come as no surprise, but Norris doesn’t even write these columns, from what we’ve found. They appear to be penned by a man who works for him, Todd DuBord, who is known as “Chuck Norris’ pastor.”

An anonymous tipster originally pointed us to DuBord yesterday, and it makes sense, because the man is listed as a “co-author” on Norris’ recent books, and because if Norris tried to type himself, the keyboard would explode from the sheer force.

What does this “pastor” do for a living? Here’s his website:

Over the past five years, Chaplain Todd has gained national recognition in his work to restore Christian revisionism and reductionism from American historic sites and landmarks. He has successfully led restorations of our Christian heritage at the Jamestown Settlement (first English colony in America) and the Washington Monument (discoveries that were broadcasted LIVE on FOX News and other news agencies across the country

Aha! Remember this Chuck column, in which “Norris” presents a first-person account by “my pastor and the chaplain of my organizations Todd DuBord”? That makes sense now! Chuck Norris doesn’t hate national parks. His “pastor” does, and he wanted to tell the readers of the Norris column what happened to him at the Liberty Bell. If you look back at that column now, these lines are pretty hilarious:

Recently, my pastor and the chaplain of my organizations, Todd DuBord, was on a tour of Independence Hall

And:

last week my chaplain received an unfortunate response letter about their grievous tour from Mrs. Cynthia MacLeod, the superintendent of the Independence National Historical Park

And

(You can read Superintendent MacLeod’s letter in entirety at my chaplain’s websiteNationalTreasures.org.)

My chaplain, my chaplain, my chaplain.

Though DuBord makes it sound on his website like he still serves as an actual pastor, at the Lake Almanor Community Church, we called the church, and they confirmed he left a few years ago to go into business with Chuck Norris. These days DuBord likes to dress up in an army-man costume and go to Iraq with the actor so they can pretend to be real troops.

And for more evidence that DuBord writes these things, we used an e-mail form on Creators Syndicate’s Norris page under the link “Write the author.” Immediately after sending a message, we received this out-of-office auto-reply from Todd DuBord’s personal e-mail account:

Greetings! I’ll be on a multi-month special work project and offline for days at a time, so will be VERY slow at responding to email. I appreciate your patience and understanding.

It sounds like it’s very hard work plagiarizing a weekly conservative column under the assumed name of a B-movie action star! Certainly Jesus understands why his dutiful pastor has to plagiarize all the time. Men of the cloth got to make bank! Lying, stealing, and pretending you’re somebody else is a very godly way to make your living.

Apparently Norris has always used a ghostwriter. A man identifying himself as a friend of the deceased writer Joe Hymans, who is also listed as a co-author of past Norris books, wrote to us to say his late pal used to do all of Norris’ writing.

So, yes, apparently Chuck Norris is not capable of writing anything, even plagiarized columns.

A fine tragedy.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 139 comments }

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I thought Mike Huckabee was Chuck Norris' pastor.

Oblios_Cap April 27, 2011 at 2:08 pm

The Gay Pressure forced Norris to switch to DuBored.

kissawookiee April 27, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Nah, he's Chuck Norris' personal human margarine farm.

WunkRocker April 27, 2011 at 7:03 pm

But who is their Co-Pilot? Who cares? He's like 30 yrs older than me. How about this? I beat him to death so we never have to fucking here about how superhuman this bullshit motherfucker is? Also. Buttseckts with his corpse. On youtube.

Texan_Bulldog April 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"The best pastors are the kind that lie for a living." Don't they all?

harry_palmer April 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm

This is not even close to the biggest falsehoods the preacher tells.

pinkocommi April 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Even Chuck Norris' abs are airbrushed on, I bet.

genxr April 27, 2011 at 2:08 pm

He should get in touch with the guy who does Trump's wood paneling.

anniegetyerfun April 27, 2011 at 3:32 pm

The two of them should have babies.

GuanoFaucet April 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

You can read Superintendent MacLeod’s letter in entirety at my chaplain’s website NationalTreasures.org

And Nicholas Cage writes all of the pastor's columns.

aguacatero April 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Is this some kind of effort to make Donald Trump look relatively smart and upright?

Cause it's working.

Texan_Bulldog April 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm

No it isn't!

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I was gonna bitch and complain about the near-three-hour drought of new posts, but I can see now that you've been sleuthin'.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I thought Chuck belonged to the Church of the Immaculate Throat Kick.

Doktor Zoom April 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Actually, it's the Church of Bruce Lee Did It Better But I'm White, So…WINNING!

MinAgain April 27, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't use a ghost writer. Because even ghosts are afraid of Chuck Norris.

MinAgain April 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't deserve to be downfisted. Because only Chuck Norris is allowed to bring down the fist.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 27, 2011 at 1:57 pm

"Creators Syndicate" is Latin for plagiarism.

See, Jack? No story here. Move on, and such as!

P.S. Does downfist trool love Chuck Norris just as much as he loves Sarah Palin? Signs point to yes!
~

Ruhe April 27, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Christian revisionism? As opposed to what other form of Christianity, may I ask?

Gopherit April 27, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Obviously Christianity Classic is wrong. it makes jesus look like a socialist pussy. We need to Norris up that Jesus guy.

MittsHairHelmet April 27, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't have a pastor. When he wants to hear the word of Jesus, he just meets Him for lunch in heaven.

Swampgas_Man April 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Chuck Norris dictates policy to Jeebus.

Andrew Drinker April 27, 2011 at 2:47 pm

And they eat Hot Wings! ATOMIC HOT WINGS, I TELL YOU!

__kth__ April 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Funny, that's exactly the excuse I used in freshman comp: I paid the guy whose work I put my name on, and he knows about it and doesn't have a problem with it. Still got expelled for some reason.

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

One evening on USO Tour in Iraq:

Radio Speaker: Oooh!! Ahhh!! Ohhh!!! Oh yesss!!!
Pastor DuBord: Is this 'The Bickersons'? I love them.
Chuck Norris: Who?
Pastor DuBord: The Battling Bickersons. I love them.

Meh, maybe too obscure.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I got it Trapper.

nounverb911 April 27, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Needs more Bob Hope.

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

"Here Blanche, hold this wire…feel anything?"
"No."
"Oh great. The battery must be dead."

GOPCrusher April 27, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Can we really ever have enough M*A*S*H references?

edgydrifter April 27, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Does Chuck use ghostactors, too? I've seen Delta Force. That shit's even worse than his "writing."

SorosBot April 27, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Chuck was a perfectly adequate stunt man who somehow convinced himself, along with Z-list filmmakers Golan-Globus Productions, that he could act.

ManchuCandidate April 27, 2011 at 2:00 pm

The fact Chuck does not write might explain why he picked such awful movie scripts.

Invasion USA, seriously?

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Based upon that movie alone, it's probably safe to bet that he does not know how to read, either.

elviouslyqueer April 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Now now, who needs to read dialogue when all you really need is some fine stage direction, to wit:

NORRIS round-house kicks his opponent in the groin, then finishes him off with two quick plies, a bourree, and a grand jete accompanied by a guttural howl of triumph.

Gleem_McShineys April 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Is our Walkers learning?

CapeClod April 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

He just wanted to see if he could make a movie even less plausable than "Red Dawn."

GOPCrusher April 27, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Why do you hate Patrick Swayze?

CapeClod April 27, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I don't. He help to rid Colorado of its Cuban occupiers.

JoshuaNorton April 27, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Why is he feeling up that other dude? Is there something you want to tell us, Chuck?

What's up Chuck?

mog253 April 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

He really hates to be called upchuck.

EatsBabyDingos April 27, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Reductionist? Like, "I reduce people's intellect" or does he boil off half the liquid before introducing the roux?

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Is that like rendering? There's a rendering plant over south of downtown, and man does it smell gross.

harry_palmer April 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Fisty is actively pro-lying preacher menz. Probably tithes his disability check.

AJW@[redacted] April 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

What does this "pastor" have to say about the birth certificate?

Redhead April 27, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Wait, has anyone seen Chuck Norris' birth certificate? What about the pastor's? I bet they're a bunch of commie facist socialist Nazis!

flamingpdog April 27, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Long form or short form? I doubt he has the attention span to read the long form.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Actually, "Pastor Todd DuBord" is just a second personality Chuck developed to act out his fantasy of being a boring nebbishy nobody with a thankless, insignificant job. You know, like Fight Club, only upside down.

freakishlywrong April 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm

"First rule of being DeBeard, don't talk about being DeBeard."

Sue4466 April 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Why did Fred Savage's dad let that little kid fall? Was Jesus supposed to catch him?

mog253 April 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Nah, just good clean fun.

Poindexter718 April 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm

A holy ghost-writer, as it were.
I wonder who does pussy Chuck's stunts for him? His dentist?

LabRodent April 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm

His real name is Carlos (sounds un-american to me)

XOhioan April 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Todd and Chuck are gay for white teeth, that's for sure: http://www.drjerrysanchez.com/smile_preview.asp.h

"With Smile Preview there are no unpleasant surprises – just a beautiful new smile, like Todd."

widestanceroman April 27, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Chuck has the whitest teeth Todd's ever come across.

flamingpdog April 27, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Chuck has the whitest teats Todd's ever come across.

OkieDokieDog April 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm

No no no. I saw that authentic un-doctored photo yesterday of Chuck madly typing away at his keyboard. He has a real gif at typing.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum April 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Chuck Norris has his own pastor so that God won't feel so intimidated when Chuck Norris makes his demands.

MinAgain April 27, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Chuck Norris is a man of faith. Faith in Chuck Norris.

samsuncle April 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

All my comments are written by my mullahs and imans.

CrankyLttlCamperette April 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

DuBeard?

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Can I up fist the hell out of that anymore?….No.

flamingpdog April 27, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Pastor DuDate?

Redhead April 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Anyone surprised by this? Anyone? Bueller?

I'm sure Norris is still given credit for writing the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence and the Star Spangled Banner in Texas' history books.

Oblios_Cap April 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm

These days DuBord likes to dress up in an army-man costume and go to Iraq with Chuck Norris so they can pretend to be real troops.

So what name does DuBord post under on RentBoy.com ?

LabRodent April 27, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Richard Innmee.

freakishlywrong April 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm

"Christian" "Zombie" and "Light" "in the "..

Monsieur_Grumpe April 27, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Conan Obrien had a shtick for a while where he would pull a giant lever coming out of the floor and short clip from Walker Texass Ranger would play. I never watched Chucky’s show but there sure must have been a lot of bad (as in suck) scenes in that show.

DangerHelvetica April 27, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I'm looking forward to when we get to "Walker told me I have AIDS".

iburl April 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

yeah, I added a link to that vid in my comment before I saw this.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Chuck Norris is Todd DuBord's Lou Sarah?

deanbooth April 27, 2011 at 2:13 pm

There is no escape on Chuck Norris' keyboard.

LabRodent April 27, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Now thats fu*king funny. upfist to you

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Oh great. Now there's Tab all over mine.

Texan_Bulldog April 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Yeah, I wondered WTH that meant, too. It's exactly how I felt after being on the phone this morning with AT&T for 30 minutes to bitch about why my DSL bill had jumped $10 higher for no reason. Lots of talking but no comprehending … at least on my part.

fuflans April 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

today we are all friends of the deceased writer Joe Hymans.

Boojum_Reborn April 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm

His own Pasteurized Jesus.

doloras April 27, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Someone to write your column, someone who's on 'em.

Gopherit April 27, 2011 at 2:18 pm

dunno about his boots, but his balls are walker and texas ranger.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 2:19 pm

You're reading one of those "Social Justice" Bibles.

Oblios_Cap April 27, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I don't blame DuBord for not wanting to take the credit for writing those "columns".

DaRooster April 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

"A fine tragedy…"

…is Chuck Norris.

PabaBritannica April 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Does this mean Wonkette will be required to rewrite all those stupid Chuck Norris jokes to put themselves over Mr. Texas Ranger?

iburl April 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Walker told me I have AIDS.

WinterOuthouse April 27, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Really. When you look at poor Chuck's terrible situation you must draw a parallel to the Palin. Not only does she not write anything she cannot read it or remember it correctly.

Chuck Palin, Author, Lover, Kicker
Kinda

SheriffRoscoe April 27, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Were there ever any scenes in Walker Texas Ranger where Norris throws an actual preacher under an actual bus?

XOhioan April 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Yeah, but it was a busload of Mexican drug-lords and Talibanis and he and the black guy had a nonracist beer later, so it was ok.

philpjfry April 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Carefull Jack, Chuck will come over and kick your ass……or send someone pretending to be him.

TX_Bluebonnets April 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

vincere!

That's the second time in two days I've gotten to use Latin to make a joke. There may be hope for this nation yet.

Duly_Noted April 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

"O Chaplain, my chaplain! Our fearful trip is done;"

I tried to get my Chaplin to comment on this, but he was too busy dancing around with an inflatable globe.

hagajim April 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

“Chuck Norris’ pastor plagiariser.”

There…fixed.

SayItWithWookies April 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I believe the Bible should be taken literally — to the toilet and flushed.

Mumbletypeg April 27, 2011 at 2:56 pm

That's harsh. (for the toilet)

SayItWithWookies April 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

So Chaplain Todd is Chuck Norris' full-time pastor? It's sorta like if Kato Kaelin did OJ Simpson's writing for him, then.

mereoblivion April 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Caligula?

jus_wonderin April 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

That picture screams man crush.

mereoblivion April 27, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Does the blog have to be pastorized?
Heck no, it only has to come up to your knees!

chascates April 27, 2011 at 2:49 pm

The true fact remains, however, that Space Jesus will soon lower his Cosmic Escalator (as foretold by Led Zeppelin) and Patriot Norris and Chaplain Todd will ascend into Gloryland leaving the rest of us in peace and quiet. And with a hell of a lot less other assholes around to boot.

ShaveTheWhales April 27, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Pastor Fuzz?

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I'm really surprised that they went for Rutger Hauer instead of Chuck for the soon-to-be-released "Hobo With A Shotgun". It seems right up his alley.
Seriously: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo_with_a_Shotgun

ShaveTheWhales April 27, 2011 at 3:06 pm

They went with Rutger because of his superior nuance.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 3:08 pm

HOW THE EFF DID I MISS THAT LIL' SLICE OF KICK ASS AWSOMNESS? Straight to Red Box after work.

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 3:20 pm

It's not even in theaters yet, yer gonna have to anticipate it for a little while.

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm

But I wanna see schlock NOOOOOWWWWW (in my winey voice).

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 3:34 pm

If that's the case, I recommend you go rent Machete again. I couldn't bring myself to send it back to Netflix for three weeks.

Doktor Zoom April 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I have had it with that motherfucking hobo with that motherfucking shotgun!

Oblios_Cap April 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Jesus wrote the whole thing in English; of that there can be no doubt.

prommie April 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I am waiting to hear what Jean Claude Van Damm's palm reader has to say.

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm

You made that prayer your bitch, Pastor!

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Put your "pius" cock all up in it's "holy" pussy!

weejee April 27, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Plagiarizing Pastor DuBord should be impreached. The Pastor should be made passed tense. Not past tense, or past perfect, or past progressive, butt passed passed tense – like a turd.

Guppy06 April 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Woah woah woah… hold on a sec…

Serious-ish journalism?

On Wonkette?

Without ass-fucking (so far as we know)?

I may need to sit down a spell…

baconzgood April 27, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Penn Jillette?

Doktor Zoom April 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I'm going to wait until someone's pastor posts a funny comment and then copy it and post it myself.

RedneckMuslin April 27, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Pontius Pilate?

seppdecker April 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm

These days DuBord likes to dress up in an army-man costume and go to Iraq with the actor so they can pretend to be real troops.

Sounds like he's one of those pastors.

Jeff Gannon, George Bush, Ted Haggard, a wink's as good as a nod, etc.

gurukalehuru April 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Chuck's a fighter.
Not a writer.

Doktor Zoom April 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Except for that "Thou shalt not steal" part, apparently.

dox[acted] April 27, 2011 at 3:45 pm

So he actually claims, as an accomplishment, that he's restoring revisionism and reductionism to our nation's historical record? Someone should consider reading books other than the Bible. Like, say, a dictionary.

ThundercatHo April 27, 2011 at 3:47 pm

A guy who did some painting for us is a dead ringer for Chuck Norris. He ended up boffing my good friend and neighbor. I'll never be able to look at a Total Gym without totally cracking up.

JustPixelz April 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

True fact: The ceiling of the Capitol rotunda in Washington DC has a painting of George Washington as leader amongst the Greek gods.

So suck it Jesus, we've got Washington.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ks_clicks/4930135037

JustPixelz April 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I don't get it either. If only they hired some kind of professional word using person to arrange their nouns and shit. I'm going to guess they want to put crucifixes in all the parks because their paleotelepathy tells them that's what separation of church and state really means.

MadBrahms April 28, 2011 at 2:16 am

The part that's confusing to me is the preposition: "…restore Christian revisionism and reductionism *from* American historic sites and landmarks"

Even if you accept that "revisionism" and "reductionism" somehow carry positive connotations (i.e. you are from Bizarro Earth), it's still totally nonsensical. From? Wait, you want to use the monuments as a ground for Christianity, or…? Why the hell would you choose this guy as your co-author / ghostwriter?

GOPCrusher April 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

#Trigscrew?

GOPCrusher April 27, 2011 at 4:05 pm

I suppose someone is going to try to convince me that Chuck Norris wasn't a Vietnam POW that escaped and went back to save other POWs?

SorosBot April 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Hate to break it to you, but that was plagiarized from Sylvester Stallone.

Gopherit April 27, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I think that's the order of Nuns who used to teach in my catholic school.

unclejeems April 27, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Funny Walker TR clips? One time, Chuck (who played the part as part Native American, mind you), summoned a pod of medicine men to perform a kind of exorcism at an ancient gravesite. I kid you not–they showed up in a Jeep Cherokee.

unclejeems April 27, 2011 at 4:27 pm

With Ted, it was all about ends.

tihond April 27, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Why did Vince Lombardi let that kid die?

ttommyunger April 27, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Ha! Nailed it!

berkeleyfarm April 27, 2011 at 11:39 pm

Ha ha ha. As it happens, this farmgirl spent parts of her summers growing up in her grandfather's fishing cabin near Lake Almanor. It's insanely beautiful up in the Lower Cascades but it's pretty remote. Looks like "Chaplain" here traded his actual living-in-the-country-with-the-wild-things in for the glitzy Hollywood version.

flamingpdog April 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm

"And what his pastor calls his loafers?". He prolly named them after his Messican landscapers.

ganmerlad April 28, 2011 at 7:23 am

I am into Christian revisionism and reductionism too! Or does that badly written sentence mean Pastor Du Bord is against them? (googling…) Oh, I see. It is his mission to go around the 'colonies' restoring all Christian references to our national monuments so that children on school field trips are reminded that the founding fathers wanted us to be repressed by outdated beliefs in perpetuity. Swell!

However, I shall simply quote a founding father regarding that:

It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticism that three are one and one is three, and yet, that the one is not three, and the three not one…. But this constitutes the craft, the power, and profits of the priests. Sweep away their gossamer fabrics of fictitious religion, and they would catch no more flies.
– Thomas Jefferson, letter to John Adams

JustPixelz April 28, 2011 at 8:57 am

Thou shalt not steal too.

What part of the plain language of the Ten Commandments doesn't Norris understand? Probably all of them, as he portrays killing as justifiable in his movies. Plus his divorces — a little coveting thy neighbor's wife, perhaps? Plus his child from an affair.

El Pinche April 28, 2011 at 9:19 am

That's funny . I call my pot dealer my "chaplain." Of course, he worships his Chinese Water Dragon and wears clogs (like Jesus ).

sportshort April 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't care about your little blogsite. Chuck Norris has to have a stunt double for crying scenes.

Walkinwiddaking April 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm

"t sounds like it’s very hard work plagiarizing a weekly conservative column under the assumed name of a B-movie action star! Certainly Jesus understands why his dutiful pastor has to plagiarize all the time. Men of the cloth got to make bank! Lying, stealing, and pretending you’re somebody else is a very godly way to make your living."

Also a very American way of making your living.

GOPCrusher April 27, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Machete truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

BaldarTFlagass April 27, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I can't wait for the release of Machete Kills, and Machete Kills Again. I hope they don't suffer the fate of Atlas Shrugged Parts 2 & 3.

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