love late in life

Rahm Emanuel Shares Romantic Moment With Bull Furry

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A Derrick Rose by any other name...
In a related story, now that our long national birth-certificate nightmare is over, is everyone going to have sex and make babies in the midst of all this excitement? LOOK AT THE BIRTH RATES IN NINE MONTHS. AND ALSO CHECK TO SEE IF A BULL GIVES BIRTH TO A HALF RAHM. [30FPS]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • $exy$murf

    That picture is fucking retarded.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      $exy$murf how did you get r*tarded past the evil Administrator? If I type r*tarded without stars, my post gets barred. Oh maybe it is because your r*tarded has a period.

      No, I tried r*tarded. and that got banhammered too. What gives oh evil Administrator?

      • $exy$murf

        This is the second time today I used "retarded" (make that three). I guess I'm special. And not special in the retarded way (that's four).

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          Is it because you're blue or your peeness is over 110?

          BTW, teatard, libtard, retard, and just tard in general do not appear to inflame the dreaded Administrator.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            The Administrator is so retarded.

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            Well I tried again, but the otiose Administrator again says nay.

            Lionel, you too are over 110. I must assume I am doomed to be re*tarded because my p-ness is inadequate, too small, also, too.

            *shuffles off and starts sobbing in the corner*

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Interesting. I cannot say ret*rded, either.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            I guess you could just substitute the word "trig." Like "Dear God, Sarah Palin can act so trigged some times."

  • freakishlywrong

    He's telling him to take single payer off the table…

    • DaRooster

      Telling him to take Rump Roast off the table.

  • DaRooster

    WTF?

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    That looks like Obama's knee to Rahm's right.

    • mereoblivion

      Ain't much to the right of Rahm these days, but Obama('s knee) might qualify.

    • petehammer

      You deserve ten thumbs for that.

  • bumfug

    It's telling Rahm to move, quick, before that guy behind him explodes.

  • Chillwaver

    It all makes sense now…jealous Emo Barry found out about this and decided to release the Birf Certificut!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    That's ex-Mayor Daley in the bullsuit, passing along some handy governing tips to Rahm.

  • DashboardBuddha

    That looks like one of the monsters from Where the Wild Things Are.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The one with the horns is pretty scary too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And if that bull tries to dick over Rahm, he'll wake up with a dairy farmer's head in his bed.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Bullsuit…bullshit, tomato tomahto

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Needz moar tongue.

    In the movie version, Sly Stallone will play the baby, known as Rahmbull, who will kill all the browns with his Ninja Kung Fu Death Grip Pottymouth.

  • CapeClod

    Is that Eric Massa in the Bull suit?

    • nounverb911

      I thought it was Steve Bartman hiding in the suit.

      • littlebigdaddy

        Nice Chi-town ref.

  • SorosBot

    Takes me back to being a young college student in Chicago, when all the locals worshiped the ground Michael Jordon walked on. Gah, I'm old now.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      You mean, "da world" worshipped da ground Michael walked on. (THUMPS CHEST HARD) Hold on, I'm hyavin' anudder heart attack!!!!!!

      • littlebigdaddy

        I never believed in fun in the first place.

  • iburl

    Being a mayor is hard work.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Wait. Is that Marge Schott's corpse to the left of the guy in the bull suit?

    • charlesdegoal

      Looks like the bull-guy's neglected wife, stoned on antidepressants.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Marge couldn't make it, as she is too busy being skull fucked in Hell by Hitler.

    • MommysFetusJar

      I miss Billy West's Marge Schott bits. Damn, those were funny.

  • Gopherit

    Obama is reduced to wearing that ridiculous outfit to get advice from his favorite political assassin?

  • SorosBot

    Yep, and I miss it some days which are not in January or February. Hell, in one of my first elections I voted for Obama for state senator.

  • http://eldonaldo.com el_donaldo

    It does look like Where the Wild Things Are, but I think it's the porn parody: Where the Wild Things Are Fifteen Years Later: We're All Grown Up Now.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Reminds me of that famous Greek myth, Orestes Pursued by the Furries

  • Doktor Zoom

    I think that his giant 4 X4 pickup with 5" lift kit explains everything.

  • widestanceroman

    Adolph Hitler.

    Oh, sorry, too quick on the read.

  • $exy$murf

    But Rush Limbaugh will come to my defense.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Big horns — big hooves.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Is that the new Pedobear?

    • Doktor Zoom

      In hopes of stimulating the economy, the Administration has encouraged 4chan to switch to Pedobull

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        "I like my equities like I like my women – long, strong and undervalued at 8"

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Please? Furries? After David Vitter, you will get no press coverage for something like this. Everyone knows the true way to fame is to fuck and impregnate Bristol Palin.

  • GodShammgod

    I wish I knew how to quit you!

  • SorosBot

    OT, but Ha Ha!
    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2011/04/at

    "Critics, you won," said John Aglialoro, the businessman who spent 18 years and more than $20 million of his own money to make, distribute and market "Atlas Shrugged: Part 1," which covers the first third of Rand's dystopian novel. "I’m having deep second thoughts on why I should do Part 2."

    Dude's a total whiny bitch, too, just like every other Libertarian on the planet.

    • James Michael Curley

      Free market!

    • Doktor Zoom

      The Free Market is a harsh mistress.

      As is Dagny.

    • Hatrabbit

      Libertarian! Because narcissists get to vote, too.

  • RedneckMuslin

    It's teasing Rahm about his missing finger. Bad taste, man, bad taste.

  • DahBoner

    Ate a mint? From the urinal?

  • Limeylizzie

    I miss that foul-mouthed, towel-wearing, ballet-dancing, under-digited little man.However I will be in Chicago next week, maybe I'll look him up.

  • fuflans

    i hope rahm loses his temper or something soon. he's been rather bland as mayor elect.

    we expect more from him.

  • bfurry

    This has been going on awhile, folks.
    http://www.daylife.com/photo/04W69dT450dUC?__site
    http://www.daylife.com/photo/0644flgd8q12Z?__site

    Needless to say, Rahm will be Fur friendly Mayor

    • justkillmenow

      Was Rahm slicing beef when he had that unfortunate accident?

      • bfurry

        Is Arby's considered beef? Maybe seeing his own flesh sliced gave him a new perspective.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    An institution where fun goes to die?

    • SorosBot

      On the list of top 300 party schools – at #300.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Delightful!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    See? Short-fingered vulgarians ARE electable!

  • BZ1

    Conversing with Benny the Bull!, now seriously, is that how low a politico has to stoop??!!

  • TheMeatmaker

    i expected a photo of Luc Longley.