love late in life

Rahm Emanuel Shares Romantic Moment With Bull Furry

A Derrick Rose by any other name...
In a related story, now that our long national birth-certificate nightmare is over, is everyone going to have sex and make babies in the midst of all this excitement? LOOK AT THE BIRTH RATES IN NINE MONTHS. AND ALSO CHECK TO SEE IF A BULL GIVES BIRTH TO A HALF RAHM. [30FPS]

Related

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

64 comments

    1. weejee

      $exy$murf how did you get r*tarded past the evil Administrator? If I type r*tarded without stars, my post gets barred. Oh maybe it is because your r*tarded has a period.

      No, I tried r*tarded. and that got banhammered too. What gives oh evil Administrator?

      1. $exy$murf

        This is the second time today I used "retarded" (make that three). I guess I'm special. And not special in the retarded way (that's four).

        1. weejee

          Is it because you're blue or your peeness is over 110?

          BTW, teatard, libtard, retard, and just tard in general do not appear to inflame the dreaded Administrator.

          1. weejee

            Well I tried again, but the otiose Administrator again says nay.

            Lionel, you too are over 110. I must assume I am doomed to be re*tarded because my p-ness is inadequate, too small, also, too.

            *shuffles off and starts sobbing in the corner*

          2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

            I guess you could just substitute the word "trig." Like "Dear God, Sarah Palin can act so trigged some times."

  1. Chillwaver

    It all makes sense now…jealous Emo Barry found out about this and decided to release the Birf Certificut!

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    That's ex-Mayor Daley in the bullsuit, passing along some handy governing tips to Rahm.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    And if that bull tries to dick over Rahm, he'll wake up with a dairy farmer's head in his bed.

  4. EatsBabyDingos

    Needz moar tongue.

    In the movie version, Sly Stallone will play the baby, known as Rahmbull, who will kill all the browns with his Ninja Kung Fu Death Grip Pottymouth.

  5. SorosBot

    Takes me back to being a young college student in Chicago, when all the locals worshiped the ground Michael Jordon walked on. Gah, I'm old now.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Marge couldn't make it, as she is too busy being skull fucked in Hell by Hitler.

  6. Gopherit

    Obama is reduced to wearing that ridiculous outfit to get advice from his favorite political assassin?

  7. SorosBot

    Yep, and I miss it some days which are not in January or February. Hell, in one of my first elections I voted for Obama for state senator.

  8. el_donaldo

    It does look like Where the Wild Things Are, but I think it's the porn parody: Where the Wild Things Are Fifteen Years Later: We're All Grown Up Now.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      In hopes of stimulating the economy, the Administration has encouraged 4chan to switch to Pedobull

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Please? Furries? After David Vitter, you will get no press coverage for something like this. Everyone knows the true way to fame is to fuck and impregnate Bristol Palin.

  10. SorosBot

    OT, but Ha Ha!
    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2011/04/at

    "Critics, you won," said John Aglialoro, the businessman who spent 18 years and more than $20 million of his own money to make, distribute and market "Atlas Shrugged: Part 1," which covers the first third of Rand's dystopian novel. "I’m having deep second thoughts on why I should do Part 2."

    Dude's a total whiny bitch, too, just like every other Libertarian on the planet.

  11. Limeylizzie

    I miss that foul-mouthed, towel-wearing, ballet-dancing, under-digited little man.However I will be in Chicago next week, maybe I'll look him up.

  12. fuflans

    i hope rahm loses his temper or something soon. he's been rather bland as mayor elect.

    we expect more from him.

Comments are closed.