Rahm Emanuel Shares Romantic Moment With Bull Furry

  love late in life

A Derrick Rose by any other name...
In a related story, now that our long national birth-certificate nightmare is over, is everyone going to have sex and make babies in the midst of all this excitement? LOOK AT THE BIRTH RATES IN NINE MONTHS. AND ALSO CHECK TO SEE IF A BULL GIVES BIRTH TO A HALF RAHM. [30FPS]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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