WorldNetDaily: But It Still Says His Dad Was African

Modern life came to a screeching halt this morning as people stopped and held their breaths in anticipation of leading birther "news source" WorldNetDaily's response to the release of President Obama's birth certificate. And here it is: first of all, let's put "birth certificate" in quotation marks, because c'mon, DON'T JUMP TO ANY CRAZY CONCLUSIONS, AMERICA. But also, his dad was African, right? That still makes him ineligible for the presidency. Phew .

If the document proves valid, it could answer the questions raised by those who have alleged he was not actually born in Hawaii. But it also could prove his ineligibility because of its references to his father. Some of the cases challenging Obama have explained that he was a dual citizen through his father at his birth, and they contend the framers of the Constitution excluded dual citizens from qualifying as natural born citizens.

Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, the only news agency that has waged a relentless investigative campaign on questions swirling around the Obama’s eligibility for nearly three years, was elated at the turn of events.

"We're gratified that our work has begun to pay off," he said. "The certificate of live birth is an absolutely vital foundation for determining constitutional eligibility of any president. We look forward to reviewing it like so many other Americans do at this late date. But it is important to remember there are still dozens of other questions concerning this question of eligibility that need to be resolved to assure what has become a very skeptical public concerning Barack Obama’s parentage, his adoption, his citizenship status throughout his life and why he continues to cultivate a culture of secrecy around his life."

What an exciting time! Heady days! We are all lucky to live in a time of American history in which American innovators like Joseph Farah will discover enterprising excuses for refusing to recognize a black president. They should be thanking Obama! Birtherism was in a rut. Now they, like all true American dreamers, will be forced to innovate. Win the future, birthers!

EVERYONE CALM DOWN. OBAMA IS STILL A MUSLIM. HE IS STILL BLACK. HE IS STILL A COMMUNIST. WE ARE GOING TO FIND NEW WAYS TO DISCREDIT HIS EXISTENCE. SIT TIGHT. [ WND ]