Excuse our youthful curiosity, Fox Nation, but what is this delicious-sounding Gay Pressure which you speak of? Is it similar to peer pressure, just with tons more “penis”? Maybe! Or maybe it is an ancient Chinese Homo-Puncture technique that relieves “back” problems? Please help us solve this gay mystery in the comments section!
Haha, and look! This news article originally appeared in the commie New York Times, under the headline, “Law Firm Won’t Defend Marriage Act.” No mention of America Under Gay Pressure? Good gravy. Predictable liberals with their misleading headlines.
♫This is our last dance ♫
♫ This is ourselves ♫
♫Under Gay Pressure ♫
♫ dum dum dum dee dee dum dum ♫
Thank you to Wonkette operative “Luke” for this weird Fox News headline! [Fox Nation]
{ 194 comments }
Isn't "Gay Pressure" what makes the prostate feel so good?
I thought that was Chuck Mangione?
If I'm not mistaken…Gay Pressure is called Topping.
Then I wish the fucking spineless Dems would take a few lessons in topping.
It's also a floor wax.
Gay pressure has contributed to many happy endings, or so I'm told…
Needs more tongue-punching of fartboxes.
How wude!
It's Twue!
It means some GOP pols take a wide stance on this issue. Some are bending over for this.
Gawd, the comments attached to that article made my eyes burn. Somebody get me some porn.
Some…gay porn, perchance?
Not trying to force anything on you, or something, but…
They're just trying to force this down our throats….hhmmmpphhh, kaff! Mmmmm…Oh, god, yes…
Are we going to swollow this?
A spitter's a quitter.
pornhub.com always works for me.
Very suspicious that Fox is repeating a story from MSM New York Times. There must be a gay fox in the henhouse.
My money is on Shepard Smith or Steve Douchy.
I'm pretty sure Steve Doocys reproduce asexually.
Truly a fungus among us.
There's little doubt about the Gay Pressure that drives Shep Smith. Coincidentally, Rachel Maddow just broadcast a thinly veiled appeal for a closeted news anchor to come out.
Quit pickin' on Anderson, Bully-Maddow!!!
Rachel Maddow is the epitome of a gay fox.
Zwing!
All those hard peckers among them chickens sure has to be a turn-on for the "Deuce".
She makes me feel like a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
[some other commenter said that here first years ago, and I would credit him if I could remember who it was]
There definitely isn't any cock in the henhouse.
Riley, didn't you post a pic of you and Andrew Breitfart that had something to do with "Gay Pressure?"
Brietbart's gay pressure is strong enough to make whore diamonds.
Via Wikipedia:
Pressure: is an effect which occurs when a force is applied on a surface. Pressure is the amount of force acting on a unit area. The symbol of pressure is P.
Formula: P= F/A or P =dFn/dA
Gay Pressure: is an effect which occurs when a force is applied on a surface with a hot, swollen, turgid, sweaty, erect penis.
Next you'll be claiming the Theory of Relativity explains where TP'ers come from.
No, the Theory of Relativity explains the British monarchy. TP'ers are mostly an object lesson on why you shouldn't use lead-based paint on cribs.
Do penises even have sweat glands?
Relative Humidity: when sweat drips off your sack onto your sister-in-law's taint. You're welcome!
This is clearly discrimination of some sort.
As a straight woman, I demand my fair share of hot, swollen, turgid, erect penis.
Needs moar santorum
And Fluid Sexuality. Pretty sure that means water sports.
That damn gay pressure again. How can the fox personalities take it? All of those pictures and videos out there on the internet…..just calling. It's more than Beck and Hannity can take, godblessem.
What the hell is "gay pressure?" Is it cause by Lezbeans?
Taking Peen-O will help with that.
Otherwise you'll suffer from chronic fabulence.
You three bitches owe me a new keyboard and monitor.
Sorry Elvis, we love you!
I hear that Fox is looking to hire a LISP programmer
I sointainly hope so!
Oh so many upfists for that one, would that it were possible.
"Under Gay Pressure," the song by Bowie NOT plagiarized by Chuckie N and Vanilla Ice.
I was thinking about how about how adding a syllable would ruin the cadence, but it doesn't really. You just have to stress the second syllable of "under" so that you can slip the "gay" in.
"UnDER gay Pressure"…
If only my firm had a little gay pressure, at least I would have a social life.
Heh – an Amazon flying-monkey-poop review that persuaded me to immediately buy a Kindle copy of 31 Bond Street:
"This book is advertised on Wonkette, a Web site that ridiculed Sara Palin's down syndrome son. If this book is advertised to devotees of that site, I will not read it."
Now trying to think which relatives and/or friends might enjoy a copy of Larry Flynt's One Nation Under Sex…
You don't really think the people who oppose wonkette actually buy books, do you?
"Heh – an Amazon flying-monkey-poop review that persuaded me to immediately buy a Kindle copy of 31 Bond Street"
Oh! Thanks for the reminder!
I'd been meaning to check that out of the library, and when I saw your comment, I put the book on hold.
Gay Pressure is what causes John Boner to weep. Or, at least, bite the pillow.
If Larry Craig had been smart, he would have said he was relieving gay pressure when he was at the air port.
"…air port…" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
air biscuit
Gay Pressure is what most of the fundamentalist homophobes feel whenever they watch 300 or pro wrestling.
So Tommy, do you like gladiator movies?
Ever been in a Turkish prison?
Clearly this guy was feeling the gay pressure.
I'm going to wait until someone posts a funny comment and then copy it and post it myself.
Plaigerizer!
I'm going to wait until someone posts a funny comment and then copy it and post it myself.
Gay pressure…that slightly unconfortable feeling just before your balloon knot pops open!
I'll just lay this out and let someone else fill in the gaps: Queen is the Obama administration, Bowie is, uh, gay rights groups, and Vanilla Ice is Fox News for stealing the NYT beat and then laming it out.
That was pretty damn astute!
I guess the gay Mafia made them a gay offer they couldn't gayfuse.
Gay. Gay. Gaaaaaaaay.
"Gaydar" is old-fashioned and unreliable, Gaybarometers are the new hip thing with all the cool young lawyers.
gayGPS. it's all digital now.
Gay Twitter?
The important thing is to make sure that you apply the Firm Gay Pressure of the Law consistently, slowly increasing the tempo, and consulting with your Partners to make sure they are in concurrence. Then, slowly remove their Amicus briefs.
If it Pleasures the Court….
MY WORD, WHAT DID I JUST READ???
The best damn legal advice I ever heard.
Hey you finally got the blue stripe like Ken, congrats!
Riley, I'd take YOUR deposition any time you want.
I think it's precious that Riley acts like Breitbart didn't try to depose him.
An excerpt from One Nation Under Sex.
David is that you? You never called back, I'd love to see you again, even just for 5 minutes, okay 10, oh god make it 15 please?
First, we fill all the lawyers.
with santorum…
Of course. That comes naturally.
Fap, fap, fap, and I'm not even gay…at least I don't think I am…..
Yeah, neither does Bryan Fissure, so….
No, he fucking KNOWS he's gay, he just won't admit it, even to himself.
his name is Fissure, I mean COME ON!
Subpoenas go in, subpoenas go out. Never a miscommunication. How do you explain that?
I'm pretty sure you meant dompoenas.
When does each side present their oral argument?
Reminds me of my great aunts in Cedar Rapids named Gay and Gladys. I was about 12 when Aunt Gay called her sister "Happybottom," which puzzled the hell out of me. I finally asked my mom, and she said it was a variation on Glad-ass, which is a happy bottom. I think of the Gays and Happybottoms of the world often and smile, because I love my Gay, Glad-ass family.
Speaking of portal games, the kids these days are much more into GLadOS.
I really, really hope that story is real, because it's possibly the most adorably charming thing I've read this week (possibly month)!
It is true! They were twin sisters to my Grandma, Althea, who was affectionately known as Sal for reasons that are mysterious…Thanks for your post!
If you take the name Gladys, and distill the queer out of it, it leaves LDS. Coincidence?
While I'm not a fan of homosexuality (any more than I am a fan of any of the billions of possible human genetic outcomes), I do understand that it is a naturally occurring phenomenon and that homosexuals have no more choice about the matter than I did about being heterosexual. Or being tall. Or having those features called "Caucasian." Or being male. Or being blue-eyed. Thus, any human rights accorded to me should be accorded to any other human.
What's so fucking hard to understand about that, FOX News fans?
Ummm, hello, who are we supposed to hate then, you're so smart?
People who drive while talking on cell phones, of course!
Oh, there is a special place in hell for them…if hell existed, of course, which it doesn't, but if it did…oooooh boy, fricassee city!
Real American Christians and special needs children, of course.
Oh I hate the special needs children, with their wee beady eyes and their legions of incoherent, illiterate fan clubs.
Damn! Harsh. Well, harsh but fair.
"Or being tall. Or having those features called "Caucasian." Or being male. Or being blue-eyed."
STOP GAY-PRESSURIZING US!!!
It's not that it's hard for Fox News to understand. They understand it perfectly. They ALSO understand that their viewership is made up entirely of mouth-breathing fuckwits, the people who make it necessary for Pop-Tarts to come with directions on the box.
The gay couple that owns the wine bar I frequent always try to get me to buy the BV Georges de Latour instead of the Goats Do Roam. Is that gay pressure?
yes.
=======================================)
With a capital D~.
So, politics_nerd is actually Jonah Falcon?
You guys laugh but high gay pressure can have serious health consequences. I've known guys who have hit the gym six days a week because of high gay pressure. Some of us have nearly bankrupted ourselves trying to treat it.
"I've known guys who have hit the gym six days a week because of high gay pressure."
You'd think that would only make it worse.
Others have tried to treat it by "hitting" Jim.
If you call it pegging then it's not gay. At all. No siree.
I was always under the impression that gay pressure was a necessary step in applying sequins to a entertainer's garment. Apparently, that lawsuit just got bedazzled!
Disco Stu don't advertise.
Since Riley's already done the Bowie/Queen reference:
♫ You have to learn to pace yourself ♫
♫ Gay Pressure ♫
♫ You're just like everybody else ♫
♫ GayPressure ♫
♫ You've only had to fuck so far ♫
♫ So good ♫
♫ But you will come to a place ♫
♫ Where the only thing you feel ♫
♫ Are loaded dicks in your face ♫
♫ And you'll have to deal with ♫
♫ Gay Pressure ♫
'Gay Pressure' is a popular Republican Nightclub.
Faux Newz needs moar Viagra to stand tall against ghey pressure.
further to Serolf_Divad: F = ma
where F = Faux News, m = morans, and a = asshats.
Slightly OT, but Prop 8 supporters are now saying the fed judge who ruled it unconstitutional should've recused himself b/c he's gay. By this logic, how could a breeder judge not have to recuse himself? Prop 8 supporters are stupid fucking ass-hookahs.
Show us your castration certificate!
Would not castrati priests solve the Catholic Church's problem with the kiddies?
And that is surprising how?
I know, I know, but even so, sometimes when I step back and grasp the totality of their stupid and cognitive dissonance, it turns my snark off.
Oh, I understand. It is staggering, the stupidity, isn't it?
It's especially hilarious in that this very argument undermines any attempt they might make that straight people have a compelling interest – and therefore standing – to sue over it.
"now saying"? They were saying that within
dayshours of the decision….Yeah, but they just formally filed a motion to vacate the ruling based on this.
Aha. Then clearly we need to apply Gay Pressure to vacate their motions. Deeply
Damn. I used my subpoena joke too soon. I blame the gay pressure.
It's ok. The judge is a Republican, so the "having a partner" thing doesn't count.
Couldn't be a Republiklan. No self respecting Republiklan would ever engage in carnal knowledge with another member of the same sex. And certainly never outside the bonds of matrimony.
Leadership qualities?
While America tearfully braces itself, gay pressure mounts a massive thrust against DOMA, pounding its way to a triumphant victory.
A burst of legislation will soon follow.
Too much Gay pressure gives you the bends.
I thought it was the other way around?
Kinky.
again 2 % of the population trying to dictate to the other 98 %.
Again. Wingnuts exhibit more fucking projection than fucking Cannes.
Of course, the opposite of Gay Pressure is Gay Suction. But, paradoxically, same effect. With enough gay suction even the firmest of law firms will hand off this case to some Johnny-come-lately rather than blow it for Boehner.
It's the emasculating Planned Parenthood & Code Pink Ladies' fault that Mark Foley, Larry Craig, George "Rentboy" Rekers and now this fine law firm are succumbing to the Gay Pressure.
So you're saying they've passed the bar? Or do we do this in psi?
Gay agenda revealed:
Democrats Want To Recruit Gay Immigrants To "Bring Down" America http://onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=13…
A grassroots border enforcement advocate is not surprised that a group of far left-wing congressional members would introduce a bill that gives special consideration to homosexuals who want to immigrate to the United States.
But he says this legislation fits right into the left's agenda of changing the traditional values that made America great.
"They're looking to bring in anybody challenging the established culture inside the United States that they want to bring down," Gheen suggests.
I just puked up my soul.
This is good news for Glenn Greenwald!
Oh damn, the racism and homophobia there are just amazing. They refer to immigration as "importation"; and giving gay couples the same status as straight couples for family-based immigration is not "special consideration" but equal consideration, you fucks.
Everybody get down!
"…left's agenda of changing the traditional values that made America great…" Homosexuals – They Want America to Suck
or
Homosexuals – Bringing America to It's Knees
Fox News: We report, you laugh about how stupid we are.
What's wrong with Queen?
PLINK PLONK!
My, oh my! All this "Gay Pressure" talk feels like, well, being pressured (?!?!?).
This is certainly deeply tragic and outrageous, given that straight pressure has never caused any adverse consequences for a gay person.
"Gay pressure" is when the invisible hand of the market gives your balls a good sharp squeeze.
Gay pressure is no joke, without it I would still be wearing Crocks with a sportcoat.
"Send in the clowns….
Don't bother… They're here."
Is it racist if I say "Gay Pressure" is how the Japanese pronounce "Gay Pleasure?"
That's Gaycist!
"Gay Pressure" is what made Vanilla Ice have to give up royalties to his hit.
I never knew Suge Knight was gay…
Thanks for that. I was thinking of The Selecter as soon as I saw the title for this post.
Oh shit the downfister hates that I know something about ska revival bands of the eighties. May Buster Bloodvessel smother you with his tongue Downfister!
With all the recent advances in lubrication and muscle relaxant technology, Gay Pressure is nowhere near the problem it used to be.
Just enough, actually. I believe I am in love now.
If that's not enough, you might need ANAL BLAST!!!!!!!
Tea Party Members and other Conservatives: Check your Gay Pressure weekly, or even daily, if you are experiencing symptoms! Fortunately, there are many clinics in rest stops and public bathrooms nationwide where Gay Pressure can be assessed quickly and easily. (However, this may not be reimbursable through your Communist Flexible Spending Account.)
Hee, hee; "erected".
Gay Pressure = 21st century Kama Sutra.
I have no doubt Doocey and his dark-haired little friend feel gay pressure every time Barry is on the tube; better known as the pressure building up inside their little knickers when their tiny pee-pees get hard.
I wonder what happens if you're suddenly de-gay-pressurized? Do you get the bend-overs?
A cock will drop from the overhead panel. Grasp it firmly and inhale naturally.
Louis CK has something to say about gay pressure.
[NSFW...start at 4:00 min mark.]
Gay Pressure is when you find it harder and harder every day to live up to your blue china.
Okay, this is simple: Birthers. Other than that it's kinda lonely in there.
Does it count as Gay Pressure if you were drunk at the time?
I thought the rule was that nothing counts if you're:
1. Drunk,
2. On vacation,
3. Don't know each other's names.
Thank you! You know, I loved The Specials and The Beat when they first came out (har har), but somehow never actually heard a Selecter song until today, although I knew of them.
Every inch of the way…
Wait, What?
I see everything twice!
Is that like 2D?
I SEE EVERYTHING ONCE!
We made you all better!
i was just wondering if "gay pressure" had anything do with the atm. and what's the unit of measurement for "gay pressure" called?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atmosphere_%28unit%2…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulsatance
Note animated diagram of the effect.
"Either the drapes go or I do"
I prefer the traditional version of the term, "queer pressure".
Isn't gay pressure when we rub peeps?
He was so gay he called his band Queen.
The hoary old canard is being trotted out again (have I mixed enough metaphors…) that conceding anything to the gayz, is opening the way for every other "interpretation" for marriage, like marrying a piano stool or a banana peel…
Jesus Mary and Joseph, I spend much of my day telling middle school students not to use "gay" as a pejorative, and here goes FOX News doing the same thing!
Do the kids still use it that way? I'm only in my mid-20's, but it was kind of dying out back when I was in high school.
Using gay as a pejorative is so gay.
If you're gay pressure lasts longer than 4 hours…well, you've found yourself a good lay, I guess. If only everyone's pressure could last so long.
So Republicans wanted to pay this firm 500K dollars to defend DOMA? But I thought they were all about small government and reigning in spending? I'm shocked!
On a totally unrelated note, I just woke up from a 40 year coma. Did I miss anything?
Freddie Mercury and 70s-era David Bowie were so fine they transcended all categories of "straight", "gay", "male", "female", and almost, "human". They were just gorgeous vortexes of cool and sexeh.
"tent the Repubs have erected"
I see what you did there, although calling it "big" might not be strictly accurate.
Somewhere on youtube, Britney Spears has a video where she's crying and yelling, 'LEAVE THE GEIGH ALONE!!"
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