IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  9:25 am April 26, 2011

Brain-Dead Donald Suggests Obama Was Too Stupid To Go To Harvard

by Riley Waggaman

When will it end?

  • Teevee’s hairless harlequin Donald Trump is angry at Barack Obama and Robert De Niro, for some reason. (We all know why The Donald is furious at Obama — no birdcertificate — but De Niro? He said something obvious and uncontroversial, like “Donald Trump should shut his pie-hole and die.”) That is a lot of anger! And now Trump will probably send his private investigators to RottenTomatoes.com, to give Robert lots of nasty reviews. But here’s the juiciest new Donald scoop: Obama was a lousy student, and probably cheated his way into Harvard! “I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can’t get into Harvard,” explained Trump. “How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I’m thinking about it, I’m certainly looking into it. Let him show his records.” Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd. Meanwhile, serious journalists are wondering if Trump’s “brand” will benefit from a presidential run. Keep asking the tough questions, guys! [LAT]
  • The State Department has warned all U.S. citizens in Syria to leave the country immediately. Are we gearing up for another dumb war? [BBC]
  • Japanese farmers protested outside the headquarters of Tokyo Electric Power Co. They whined about their crops “being contaminated by radioactive sludge,” or something. [AP]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 206 comments }

BaldarTFlagass April 26, 2011 at 9:29 am

Yo, Trump, you talkin' to me?!?!

baconzgood April 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

Damn YOU! You beat us all to it and are the 1st comment.

JimmyPete April 26, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Donnie boy pretends he's New York but here in Jersey we know he's a Punk, with a capital Pussy P.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 26, 2011 at 9:30 am

Trump is the new Palin.

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

If Trump is the new Palin how are all those elderly men going to fap?

CthuNHu April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am
tessiee April 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm

He wasn't spongeworthy then, either.

ManchuCandidate April 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

Meanwhile in Frozen Ass Alaska, Sarah Palin weeps into her morning coffee.

Heh.

CapeClod April 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Trump would never allow his daughters to get knocked up by white trash.

ChessieNefercat April 26, 2011 at 10:00 am

His daughters' mothers were knocked up by white trash.

JimmyPete April 26, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I never thought I'd say this but please don't insult Sarah like that

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Of course we're not going to war in Syria, Riley. have you seen their pitiful oil production numbers?

GOPCrusher April 26, 2011 at 1:55 pm

But they make up for it in hash oil production.

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 12:49 am

On the one hand, their only oil is olive oil. On the other hand, they are often mentioned in the Bible.

EatsBabyDingos April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

With all the might and heft of a chigger fart, Donald Trump announced that he was looking to see if the Emancipation Proclamation applied to Kenyan potato bugs.

weejee April 26, 2011 at 9:38 am

Chiggrahs, please this is an enlightened site.

LesBontemps April 26, 2011 at 10:03 am

Or is that, "Chigger please"?

HistoriCat April 26, 2011 at 10:29 am

Around here we prefer to be polite – that should be "With all the might and heft of a chegroe fart …"

slithytoves April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

"I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can’t get into Harvard,” explained Trump.

Okay, now I really think you're full of shit.

freakishlywrong April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

Those friends though, they're not "the blacks". Therefore, this is dog whistle for "affirmative action hurts whitey and and that's why the President is an uppity Negro".

GOPCrusher April 26, 2011 at 1:57 pm

The article I read this AM, The Donald comes right out and says that Obama getting into Harvard was because of affirmative action.

Terry April 26, 2011 at 10:15 am

Yes, all they had to do to get into Harvard was to contribute a whole bunch of money.

lingin April 26, 2011 at 10:26 am

"I have friends…" alone disqualifies this statement from having any relationship to facts.

JustPixelz April 26, 2011 at 10:31 am

Cheer up Trumpette. Those kids can still get into Trump University.

MiniMencken April 26, 2011 at 10:53 am

Getting into Harvard for the undergraduate program is a bit different than for the graduate programs such as the law school. Secondly, New York City and its surrounding communities are usually over represented in the applicant's list from a geographic diversity perspective. Finally, if I was serving on an application committee and I saw a letter of recommendation from Trump, I would nix that kid on the grounds of guilt by association.

Tundra Grifter April 26, 2011 at 3:00 pm

MM: There you go with those librul "facts" and "logic" and "reason."

PS:: Chances are his imaginary "friends" didn't go to Harvard themselves. You know, the kids aren't legacies – aka "Affirmative Action for White Folks."

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"My friends' sons are very, very, very, very smart."

Maman April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Could it be that Trump wasn't smart enough to get into an Ivy and he is jealous?

CZL April 26, 2011 at 9:51 am

Fordham. Lol.

(Ivy undergrad is an expensive way to rack up a bunch of debt. Ivy grad school is more prestigious, but the Don-Don went to U. Penn.)

freakishlywrong April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Has there really ever been a more perfect Republican than the vulgar, morally and ethically bankrupt, "The Donald"? No.

ttommyunger April 26, 2011 at 10:27 am

Well said!

Hatrabbit April 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Voldemort comes close.

WinterOuthouse April 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Tell his 'friends with smart kids', highly suspect, to give some more money to the old guard

Maman April 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

I get tired of people complaining about how their smart kid couldn't get into (fill in the blank) because the spot went to some black kid. Those kinds of excuses keep kids from working harder…

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:38 am

And the " my kid didn't make the varsity because the coach doesn't like him" or maybe because he is just not good enough.

Barb April 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Or any white girl who didn't make Homecoming Queen because the blacks are jealous of her. Yeah, I am talking about my sister's daughter.

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

They (your sisters) really are terrible aren't they?

BerkeleyBear April 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

And you should hear what the Asian kids have to say about this attitude when mediocre white students get in more readily than they do (or at least did).

ManchuCandidate April 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

All I need to do is talk to my aunt and uncle.

finallyhappy April 26, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Frequently these rich kids went to prep schools where they were constantly coached/tutored/mentored(if mom and dad didn't hire someone to do their work- I had a friend who wrote her son's papers in HS and another friend who "edited" his kid's papers all through college), some of these expensive schools make sure most students do a number of AP classes(but don't take the AP exams because they would never pass), have every kind of SAT prep, had some professional review and re-write their college essays and college letter of recommendation that made them sound like Jesus Christ come again. Not all kids, of course, but all of the ones Trump is talking about- you can be sure.

BaldarTFlagass April 26, 2011 at 9:32 am

"Tokyo Electric Electric Power Co."
Those crazy Japanese and their Engrish. http://www.engrish.com

rileywaggs April 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

YA ALRIGHT. well played.

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

I know it's mint juleps at the derby, but what is the cocktail of choice at the egg roll?

ManchuCandidate April 26, 2011 at 9:32 am

Wow. Trump's really playing with the Racist Card deck now.

First it was the Birfer Card.
Now it's the Affirmative Action Card.

Considering that the odds of entering Hahvahd as a white connected rich kid are much greater than a smart but poor black kid, I have to say he can go fuck himself with his Wharton degree.

BerkeleyBear April 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Yeah, tell me how the Winklevosses of the world always get into the Ivies with no questions asked, but everyone with dusky skin is suspect?

Oh, wait, I know why – and it isn't pretty.

Terry April 26, 2011 at 10:25 am

Winklevosses and the Bushes.

DemonicRage April 26, 2011 at 11:43 am

No one said that the Winklevosses are mouth breathing cretins, and, as portrayed on film, they are handsome athletes. The ivies need some of those, along with representatives of other groups in the general population. Ya! Go team!

Beanball April 26, 2011 at 6:02 pm

"Winklevossi"

Chillwaver April 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

What he really meant is that Barry was too black to go to Harvard…goddamn affirmative action…

Omophagist April 26, 2011 at 10:16 am

Holy shit! The president's black?

WinterOuthouse April 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

Affimitaive Action student is code for, ain't no nigra gonna git edumacated afor my kid. Nigras dont no nuthin anyhow. Uppity urbans nigra need to no them place

DemonicRage April 26, 2011 at 11:44 am

Don't deal in racist fake dialogue, as imagined spoken by racists.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

It's not just Obama and De Niro; Trump is also angry at Bill Cosby right now:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42549445/ns/today-t

Terry April 26, 2011 at 10:27 am

Oh, please please please let Trump stay in the race until the bitter end. PLEASE. He's showing the insanity of the GOP in huge blinking letters.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

Trump for the G.O.P.!

They are made for each other.

Dear FSM, please grant me this boon.
~

Gratuitous World April 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

I'm just a state-school grad, but i believe George W. Bush went to Harvard.

and even he managed to cash in on his silver spoon legacy and stay in school – unlike another privileged bloviating hairpiece who couldn't even manage to take all daddy's slumlord connections without getting kicked out of private schools. that man of course – marv albert. Yes!

GuanoFaucet April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

If I had a dog, it would have jumped to attention while I read that Trump story.

horsedreamer_1 April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

So, he's looking into Obama's enrollment at Columbia & Harvard, but has yet to reveal what he found from previously looking into Obama's "birth" in "Hawai'i".

At least The Donald has gotten used to reneging on his promises. Seems Presidential to me.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 2:59 pm

"At least The Donald has gotten used to reneging on his promises. Seems Republican to me."

fxd

baconzgood April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

I can't wait for that Japanese tomacco.

WinterOuthouse April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

Why can't these Japanese framers suck it up and take it already? You don't see our fishermen bothering BP with the contamination they caused. Eat the food already. WTF

CapnFatback April 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

“How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard?

Of course, by "bad," Trump means "one, bad motherfuckin' student."

weejee April 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

The Trump-et blows, Syria is revolting, and the Japanese farmers were sobbie over their glow-in-the-dark wasabi. Great way to start the mourning. But hey, we got ads. Yea Ken.

DemmeFatale April 26, 2011 at 11:00 am

A good Trump story seems to neutralize the other bad news, and talks me back from the ledge.
His cartoon-y self is always good for a laugh.
Bless his heart!

Rosie_Scenario April 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

And Harvard Business School. Amazing, but true.

CthuNHu April 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

Not amazing at all.

These are the folks who run our economy, after all.

Goonemeritus April 26, 2011 at 9:38 am

Coming from a renowned Rhodes Scholar like the Donald that’s got to hurt.

hollywooddood April 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

Okay, but is our children learning?

meufchelou April 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

So how ARE the Celebrity Apprentice ratings now? That's the key question.

weejee April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

Getting reformatted to become the Celebrity Appendage with first show featuring that one hair that curls for miles on the Donald's head.

widestanceroman April 26, 2011 at 10:05 am

Will it finally be revealed that it is really just one long asshair?

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I get the feeling The Donald is really just one long asshair.

4tehlulz_lite April 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

Needs more racism.

BaldarTFlagass April 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

Actually, I think it's just about maxed out, except maybe for the word "nigra" or it's socially unacceptable cousin.

CapeClod April 26, 2011 at 9:40 am

The bigger question is how a bad student graduates Magna Cum Laude and runs the Harvard Law Review. It must be a conspiracy

BerkeleyBear April 26, 2011 at 9:46 am

It was all done by time travelling Kenyan overlords.

riverside68 April 26, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Everyone knows that Harvard Law Review is a cesspool of affirmitive action liberals. It's in Boston fer christ sakes!
The amazing part is he was the first, sure took them long enough!
Slow witted legatees . . .

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 1:27 am

By "bad" maybe he means someone who studies instead of goofing off at the frat house all day.

BaldarTFlagass April 26, 2011 at 9:41 am

And that fucking Obama used his student deferments to keep himself out of Grenada, let's not forget.

CapeClod April 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

I can never forget it. That weekend was so hairy I almost wasn't able to get back to my job at the post office on Monday.

Rosie_Scenario April 26, 2011 at 9:41 am

Oh, no he didn't. The Donald is treading on very thin ice if he wants to discuss intellect, the merits of education, and college admission criteria. Short-fingered vulgarians who live in garish, glass towers shouldn't throw stones.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Yeah, that's what I thought when the draft dodger attacked the military record of the veteran with three Purple Hearts.

Poindexter718 April 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

Also, WTF? "I HEARD he was a terrible student"?
So as President Trump: "Word on the street is Cuba's acquired nukes" …
"They're sayin' he'd make an awesome Supreme Court justice" … "
"I'm hearing inflation ain't in the cards…"

jus_wonderin April 26, 2011 at 10:00 am

"I have source that says Donald Trump loves the taste of sperm."

Poindexter718 April 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

I heard that too.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I heard it was santorum.

DahBoner April 26, 2011 at 4:38 pm

"Word on the street is Cuba's acquired nukes"

Translation:

Trump heard it from some crazy homeless guy over by Union Square, and even had his driver roll down the windows and do another turn around the block (looking for a parking space, of course)….

anniegetyerfun April 26, 2011 at 9:43 am

He needs to stop. If for no other reason than every time he opens his trap, my dad reads the article out loud to me while adding, "What is WRONG with this idiot? He is the stupidest jackass ever." I'm worried about Trump overload; also, my dad has high blood pressure and I am not sure how much more he can take.

BaldarTFlagass April 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

Yer lucky, a lot of dads would read those articles and say "What's wrong with that? He should be president."

anniegetyerfun April 26, 2011 at 10:01 am

It's true, my dad is awesome. He's also Canadian, so, soshulizms.

Terry April 26, 2011 at 10:32 am

My awesome 80+ yr old, union hall Democrat Dad reads the articles out loud to me and cackles "Ha! Keep talking, Donald. This is the GOP without the window dressing!"

Chet Kincaid April 26, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Yay Dad! It's a drag hearing about uncool Wonkette papas.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

They whined about their crops “being contaminated by radioactive sludge,”

Time for a remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

freakishlywrong April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

Meatloaf, should I run for President? The Donald, on his travesty of a reality show. That really is all that needs to be said.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I'd rather vote for Meatloaf for President.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

That one's easy; as a legacy student; a program which (unlike affirmative action for minorities) actually does admit unqualified students into top-tier schools simply because their parents are rich.

CthuNHu April 26, 2011 at 10:12 am

Uh, not that there's anything wrong with that, right? Donald?

comptoneffect April 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

Is the new Larry Flynt wraparound ad the surprise that Ken was talking about over the weekend?

CapnFatback April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

We're covered in SEX! Take that, Papa John!

natoslug April 26, 2011 at 10:14 am

I long for the sweet, sweet website embrace of Campbell Brown. Larry kind of creeps me out. Still, I'm clicking through.

natoslug April 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

I hope not. I was really hoping for vid of Breitbart getting pegged while snorting meth (you can snort that stuff, right?) out of his second boytoy's ass.

comptoneffect April 26, 2011 at 10:08 am

I seem to recall that some sort of video was promised. I dunno, after too many gin & tonics the weekend kinda blurs together.

WhatTheHolyHeck April 26, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Please please please please please

I really need to be able to use "popcorn" as a verb again.

randcoolcatdaddy April 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

Donald Trump? Radioactive sludge? Another war?

Meh…sounds like a typical news day in post-Apocalyptic America…

Ducksworthy April 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

His records will show that he is black and a beneficiary of affirmative action unlike the white sons of my rich friends (who although coked out and brain dead) and also the sons of Appalachia's trailer courts (who are cranked out and brain dead) would have gone to Harvard except it was already full of Negro's.

MilwaukeeKent April 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

Has the countdown clock started on Trump dropping the whole idea of a run? I had an easier time taking Pat Paulsen's run seriously when I was eight years old. Do his own casinos (the ones that aren't bankrupt — WTF) have an over/under on dropping out before or after the Iowa caucuses?

James Michael Curley April 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

Trump hasn't hit the books as per BetUS.com http://www.1800-sports.com/republican-presidentia

If traditional book making economics is used, before he makes the book, someone has to place a wager on him.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

Look on the bright side, farmers; maybe the radiation will turn your crops into giant mutant supercrops,then you'll be ahead.

Lucidamente1 April 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

When will Trump demand that Obama denounce and repudiate Rev. Wright?

PabaBritannica April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

He's too busy telling us that we're clinging to guns and religion!!!11

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 1:32 am

Maybe Obama should ask Rev. Wright to denounce Trump! That might be fun.

Oblios_Cap April 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

“How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard?"

How does a bad student [Donald Trump!] go to Fordham, graduate Wharton and then bankrupt a casino? The mind boggles.

weejee April 26, 2011 at 9:51 am

With you on that Clancy. Admit points for legacies/donors should be banned or at most used instead of coin-flips for dead heats.

deanbooth April 26, 2011 at 9:52 am

Trump is just an opening act, softening up the crowd for the equally pernicious but less explicitly crazy main act.

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 1:32 am

Palin is our destiny! (Maybe our divine punishment.)

EatsBabyDingos April 26, 2011 at 9:52 am

Makes me pine for the days of Hemmoroidal Sarah. At least her pain and itch were funny. The Bigger Chigger just makes me itchy in all the wrong places.

Or is it just Buster de Bodycrabbe?

AJW@[redacted] April 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Les Morpion, pour la victoire!

jus_wonderin April 26, 2011 at 9:52 am

Does anybody have this fuckholes email addy?

natoslug April 26, 2011 at 10:01 am
PabaBritannica April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Trump, going after the lucrative PUMA vote. Almost as lucrative as the vaunted Reform Party voter and the Draft Bloomberg movement.

genxr April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Phone in your votes now for the hot new GOP reality show. If we go viral I think Snooki has a real chance to cinch the nomination.

PabaBritannica April 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

In the future, all debates will be on Chatroulette.

prommie April 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

She could win, if not for that pesky requirement that the president be over 45, or whatever it says in the Constitution, but they were going to change the Constitution for Arnold, so why not Snookie?

Oh damn, she wasn't born here, either.

CZL April 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

It's ok for the ne'er-do-well scions of rich white families to go whereever. But a poor "very, very urban" kid should know not to mix with his "betters." How will the lower classes know their place if they think they can succeed on merit and not patronage?

DemonicRage April 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

This is going to be a Presidential Campaign befitting a nation of our stature (starting to go bankrupt and not much respected any more). What do we have: 18 more months of it? Whoopie!

AynWithStupid April 26, 2011 at 9:56 am

Contamination is merely the crust of Japan's shit sandwich. Democracy Now has indicated observers at Chernobyl — which today marks the 25th anniversary of that disaster — still record amounts of leaking radiation even today.
So (speaking of anniversary-&-such) — that cute Google Doodle of Audubon's birthday? Between nuclear seepage, oil spill wreckage and garbage patch contamination, pretty bird pics are bound to become the next closest means of enjoying nature's bounty, vicariously and second-handedly. Between the scientists who continue to cry foul on these human malfeasances and the artists gracing us w/ something to remember our extinguished species by, the breach widens full of those who want to relegate both artistic and scientific endeavor to the dustbin.
Shorter form: shit sandwich tastes like shit, the end.

prommie April 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

Affirmative action dogwhistle. Its amazing, when you think of it, that Obama has been free from that insinuation because he is so obviously brilliant. Trump, of all people, is the first to make a major issue out of that old bit of racist white oaf resentment.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 10:21 am

It's something that's been percolating among the wingnuts for a while now; I've seen a number of trolls (can't remember if there were any here though) bring up this bullshit, Donald's just the first well-known figure to mention it.

undeterredbyreality April 26, 2011 at 11:05 am

"Which rightwing nutjob blogs do you read, Donny?"

"All of them, Katie, all of them."

Nothingisamiss April 26, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I heard this over and over and over down here durin 2008. "Mah kids can't git to college, but they take people like him…"

Oh, the arguements I used to have before I blew my brains out.

Laughs, nothing but laughs.

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

Ya Harvard is starting to look just like Spelman.

BZ1 April 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

The Donald seems to need to say, “I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country,” which is code for "I'm kinda dumb"

BerkeleyBear April 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

This is so insane. You can dog whistle all you want, but it works best if the subject of the dog whistle has some kernal of truth. If President Obama were a visible idiot, then you can criticize his acumen. But the man is incredibly smart and has the accolades to prove it.

What dumbass Donald also doesn't seem to understand is that the President went to one of best high schools in the country and did well enough there (even as a disinterested student) to get into Occidental, which is a pretty selective liberal arts school. So while I'm certain it was a slight advantage in applying for a transfer to Columbia that he would add some diversity (at a time when the Ivy League was still awfully white), it isn't like he was going from being a D student at Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy. All Harvard Law would have cared about were his LSATS and Columbia grades if they were good (and they were).

elviouslyqueer April 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy

Hey now, be kind when you're talking about Haley Barbour's alma mater.

x111e7thst April 26, 2011 at 10:14 am

I thought it was Squirrel Taxiderming.

Nothingisamiss April 26, 2011 at 4:12 pm

"I love that college. I never did have such a pretty perm as when mary lou done studied down there. And such a laugh we had when the squirrel came out lookin' as if he died smilin'."

prommie April 26, 2011 at 10:42 am

Hahvahd law is a bit of a diploma-factory.

James Michael Curley April 26, 2011 at 11:11 am

In 1981 when Obama went transferred to Columbia most of what was called 'affirmative action' in colleges were killed off by the Supreme Court. By the time he went to Harvard in 1988 even the affirmative action replacement of 'quotas' was legally on its death bed.

Trump, you ASS, Obama got into Columbia and Harvard while Ronald Reagan was president. You need no further facts to rebut your racist charge blathering.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:34 pm

"Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy"

Back when I lived in NC, there was a place in downtown Durham called "Mercy Dee's Soul Food Kitchen, House of Beauty Culture, and School of Self-Defense".

Best.
Name.
Ever.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:37 pm

"You can dog whistle all you want, but it works best if the subject of the dog whistle has some kernal of truth."

Sorry, but I'm not quite prepared to agree with you here.

There's as much factual support for "Obama benefited from affirmative action" (i.e., affirmative action exists) as there is for "Obama isn't a U.S. citizen (i.e., Kenya exists) (both coded racist memes, btw), and look how inexplicably durable that's been.

nicnack74 April 26, 2011 at 10:01 am

You stay classy Donald. You like wimmin for their looks, and the coloreds for their entertainment value, not fer their thinkin skillz. God forbid we actually have a Black man for commander in chief. You really are working that southern Strategy well. You might as well just say aloud, "I'll work with him, but I won't work for him." It encapsulates the sentiment of most of white Amurrica.

I'm sure the dog whistle politics will carry you far. It will get you just as far as it go America's mayor and 9/11. Good luck with that. By the way, I'm sure you have plans, post Apprentice, cus after you've lost some of that celebrity goodwill, you will have to go back to being in boring old real estate full time. For someone as egomanicial as you, I'm sure it will be tough not seeing yourself on TV as much. Have fun, fucker. I look forward to your destroying your own media empire.

CZL April 26, 2011 at 10:02 am

No, that's a Republican code phrase for "the president's a n—–!"

jus_wonderin April 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

Trump. Stone. Cold. Insane. I would say it to his face.

ttommyunger April 26, 2011 at 10:32 am

Hope I never get to see his face, do not like jail.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 10:07 am

Can't believe it took me this long to notice, but note that Donald specifically mentions his friends' smart SONS who couldn't get into Harvard; not smart children or kids. Your misogyny is showing along with your racism, Donald.

elviouslyqueer April 26, 2011 at 10:07 am

Hirsute walking colostomy bag sez whut now?

Barb April 26, 2011 at 10:10 am

This is going to be a painful visual. Time magazine explained how his hair is styled in the morning. The hair is brought up from the bottom, below his ears. and combed all the way to the forehead and then brought back and all the way to the bottom where it originated.

Now think about it. My hair is to my shoulders and I can't get it back to my forehead. That means when Donnie wakes up he walks to the bathroom with a wrinkly old ass and has a mullet that HAS to reach down to his elbows, seriously!

Marla Maples! America needs you right now. You must have a picture of this that you could share.

ttommyunger April 26, 2011 at 10:33 am

My brain, my brain!!!!!!!

x111e7thst April 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

Wait, so how old was Barry when he left his native Kenya? Cause the timeline to all of this is confusing the hell out of me.

weejee April 26, 2011 at 10:12 am

At IIT in India, you get in one way – by your grades and boards. Although who you know/are typically carries more sway there than it does here, the parents hands have been kept off the door key to their premier techie-U. Result is that globally it ranks among the best.

James Michael Curley April 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

I think I saw that movie. Stars Kal Penn – and you know who he works for – Barack Hussein Obama!

Barb April 26, 2011 at 10:12 am

Nailed me some McCartney tickets yesterday. I'm a happy camper.

GregComlish April 26, 2011 at 10:14 am

C'mon Sarah. You lended this guy some cred, and now he's totally outflanking you! And he's doing it by putting racist batshit in high gear in a way that you would have done if only that mean old John McCain had let you. He's not only stealing your crown of crazy bluster, but also the adoration of your simpering fans, the reality TV plots, and all the grifting opportunities. You and your slow-witted balloon-shaped daughter are becoming more obsolete with every racist dog-whistle that Trump makes. Even the blogs are dropping your ass.

If you have any functional grifting impulses left, you will realize that Trump is your end. There is only one way to milk this thing and put you back in the headlines: Brutal internecine warfare. You are a diva Sarah. You are the top bitch. Go show Donald that nobody puts Hockey Mom in a corner. Go get 'em Sarahcuda!

DemmeFatale April 26, 2011 at 11:13 am

Why does Donald just make me laugh, while Sarah pisses me off?

AJW@[redacted] April 26, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Perfect finale to both her grifting career and his media presence: $arah on the final season of Celebrity Apprentice, starting May 16th or thereabouts.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:43 pm

"your slow-witted balloon-shaped daughter"

If only she were more familiar with balloon-shaped objects, she wouldn't have those two kids.

Terry April 26, 2011 at 10:17 am

Benjamins. Lots and lots of benjamins.

ChessieNefercat April 26, 2011 at 10:20 am

I must say, I am impressed with how well my The Wonkette is keeping up with the ever accelerating parade of crazy/stupid being flung across our great nation like cake batter from upraised beaters lifted out of a mixing bowl.

DemonicRage April 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Unfortunately, the cake has a batter made out of Santorum.

ChessieNefercat April 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm

You're absolutely right. I really didn't intend for what is being flung (spewed?) across the country to sound delicious. Lord knows it's not.

LiveToServeYa April 26, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Crazy/stupid is Wonkette's métier. That and TruckNutz and assfucking.

hagajim April 26, 2011 at 10:29 am

Trump is definitely a blowhard asshole…but I never thought of him as a racist…I guess that the prerequisite of being in the GOP…unless your Alan West and then you replace racism with a big dose of misogyny…..what an awesome party….GOP + Great Old Pricks!

DashboardBuddha April 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

But from the picture it looks like Trump likes blackened pork.

Clancy_Pants April 26, 2011 at 10:38 am

We don't do legacy or donor (bribe) points in our program. Just means we have to spend long hours listening to former grads and rich assholes try to game the system on behalf of their unqualified kids.

weejee April 26, 2011 at 10:55 am

None hook like vaudeville?

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 10:39 am

Bill will cut through him like Jello.

HistoriCat April 26, 2011 at 10:44 am

They brought two cows?

Cud libel!

DaRooster April 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

You gotta pay attention when Allen West talks man. If he had friends they could have smart daughters… but you would never know because they SHUT THE FUCK UP…

(or some shit)

mereoblivion April 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

Surely DeNiro said "shut his FUCKING pie-hole"?

DangerHelvetica April 26, 2011 at 10:59 am

Soon Trump will cite evidence from the 80s documentary "Soul Man".

horsedreamer_1 April 26, 2011 at 11:06 am

Lost in all this: Ivanka is an anchor-baby.

undeterredbyreality April 26, 2011 at 11:08 am

Yeah, it isn't as if facts are gonna get in the way of any of this stuff.

notreelyhelping April 26, 2011 at 11:12 am

This won't be over until Trump opens Al Capone's vault.

DustBowlBlues April 26, 2011 at 11:17 am

Did Flynt see America's finest snark/news site under attack from the right and take out an ad buy aimed at saving wonkette from the rightwingnut assault? If so, are we permitted to be tastelessly rude again? I mean, other than toward each other. Tasteless rudeness is a mere right of passage among the sages who share their, ugh, sagery? with one another on wonkette.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 11:37 am

Haven't we always been tastelessly rude? But yes, thank you Larry Flynt; here's his famous parody of Jerry Falwell that lead to the famous slander case that the Supreme Court smacked down: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Falwellhustler….

And, to remember how dangers these racists the Donald is courting can be, remember that Flynt's paralyzed because he was shot by a white supremacist, angry over Hustler running pictures of a black guy fucking a white woman.

undeterredbyreality April 26, 2011 at 11:18 am

Yes, it's amazing that in a few short years we've gone from kicking people who say that kind of shit off the tv and only referring to their statements euphemistically to nominating them for everything from dogcatcher to president, and playing their racist soundbites repeatedly as if they made sense.

Also: Chigger, please!

emmelemm April 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm

He prints out the "web pages" and writes on them in Sharpie.

SorosBot April 26, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Wrong; his secretary prints them out and gives them to him.

thefrontpage April 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Trump, of course, didn't go to Columbia or Harvard. In fact, he couldn't get into a U.S. university because he never could show his proper birth certificate. He could never show his proper birth certificate, of course, because it doesn't exist. He doesn't have a real birth certificate. He's never shown it to anyone! His parents forged a birth certificate and planted fake birth announcements in the local newspaper through the local health department, which actually placed the birth announcements in the local newspapers as part of a cover conspiracy! Trump is actually a radical terrorist Kenyan Muslim Islamic fanatic, and he and his covert terrorist spy radical cohorts and co-conspirators in the radical terrorist underground are working daily to destroy the United States, the West, democracy and freedom. Trump is an illegal alien who should be deported immediately. And what about his high school and college records? They were all forged by the radical Kenyan terrorist underground.

__kth__ April 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Such a classic Trump take: my friends are wealthy, and their children aced the SATs (albeit with $1000s worth of cram courses), and did all the prep-school resume shit like editing the yearbook. Ergo, they are entitled to admission to Harvard, and have every right to insist upon it.

finallyhappy April 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I went to a prep school graduation here in the Nation's Capitol- every single graduate was the captain or co-captain or editor or team leader of something. Despite a horribly expensive education, very few of the grads were admitted to Ivies or other prominent schools.

ChessieNefercat April 26, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Yabbut, he's black!

chascates April 26, 2011 at 12:31 pm

So this is what affirmative action results in?

undeterredbyreality April 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Umm…You're spreading lies. Gotta be careful of those internet sources. Go to the real source:http://is.gd/763Z7E

proudgrampa April 26, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. Pretty soon, we are going to lose count on how many wars we are in… Sure, let's declare war on Syria!

No wonder the world hates us.

We are so freakin' doomed.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum April 26, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Here, at last, is a good use for a Predator drone.

(1st story BTW)

nonbeliever7 April 26, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Dammit, I clicked on Larry's Flynt and got the BANNED "Pornography;Political/Activist Groups" IT message. I guess I'll have to blame it on my office mate.

Wilcoxyz April 26, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Hey rich-tards, Princeton is your safety school. And they don't look at grades.

Here's how to apply: arrange to buy the school a new dorm. Send the check taped to your rapey son.

glamourdammerung April 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I have met many Paultards that make the same claim. Of course, a majority of them also claim they dropped out of high school because the school officials "were out to get them".

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 2:53 pm

"morally and ethically, and often financially, bankrupt, "The Donald"

fxd

Chet Kincaid April 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Great way to sign off his correspondence!

Duly_Noted April 26, 2011 at 2:57 pm

War with Syria, what a great idea! I get this image of the USA as the drunk asshole in the bar shouting "I can lick any f*cker in this place!"

Here's ten bucks. Call a cab, you're drunk.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Yeah, because we've all seen how The Man discriminates against rich white dunces.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:40 pm

With all his fucking money, he could buy 31 slightly longer identical wigs and wear one each day of the month, but I guess that wouldn't be obnoxious enough.

tessiee April 26, 2011 at 3:41 pm

"Why doesn't he just get a rug"

Because when the salesman asked him if he wanted a hairpiece, Dondi thought he was saying "herpes", and he answered, "Thanks, I got enough of those already".

BlueStateLibel April 26, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Yeah, it's not like Obama graduated magna cum laude from Harvard and was editor of the Harvard Law Review. Oh wait, he did.

DahBoner April 26, 2011 at 4:35 pm

"Obama was a lousy student, and probably cheated his way into Harvard!"

Like George W. Bush, Bill O' Reilly and Allan Keyes did?

DahBoner April 26, 2011 at 5:10 pm

New York Magazine figures out why Trump for President is pretty much "sewing someone's else's ass to your mouth"

Schmegeg April 26, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Hey Don, how did you get into Wharton, anyway? I guess Dad didn't pull some strings there.

ChessieNefercat April 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Like the hawsers that keep an aircraft carrier from drifting away from the dock?

Negropolis April 26, 2011 at 11:53 pm

So, what's the end game in all of this? You know, where Trump gets so ridiculous that he even jumps the birther fringe shark?

So, Obama wasn't born here, and he faked his way into college, or he was AA'ed in, or since "no one remembers him" he didn't even go to college. So, what's the next logical step of this? That he's some kind of foreign agent? Maybe he's an alien? Hell, maybe he doesn't technically exist in our reality, but is an apparition from another?

Really, where does all of this end?

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 12:50 am

Bush the younger got into Harvard; obviously they'll take anyone. I regret, now, that I didn't try it.

zhubajie April 27, 2011 at 1:23 am

If they're so smart, why don't they just excel some place else? A good library is the main thing you need, and self-discipline.

Barb April 26, 2011 at 9:51 am

Yes, they are.
Is your avatar Elvis Costello?

trampndirtdown April 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Yup

Barb April 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

My love for him runs deeper than deep. Excellent choice.

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