it's morning in america

Brain-Dead Donald Suggests Obama Was Too Stupid To Go To Harvard

When will it end?

  • Teevee’s hairless harlequin Donald Trump is angry at Barack Obama and Robert De Niro, for some reason. (We all know why The Donald is furious at Obama — no birdcertificate — but De Niro? He said something obvious and uncontroversial, like “Donald Trump should shut his pie-hole and die.”) That is a lot of anger! And now Trump will probably send his private investigators to RottenTomatoes.com, to give Robert lots of nasty reviews. But here’s the juiciest new Donald scoop: Obama was a lousy student, and probably cheated his way into Harvard! “I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can’t get into Harvard,” explained Trump. “How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I’m thinking about it, I’m certainly looking into it. Let him show his records.” Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd. Meanwhile, serious journalists are wondering if Trump’s “brand” will benefit from a presidential run. Keep asking the tough questions, guys! [LAT]
  • The State Department has warned all U.S. citizens in Syria to leave the country immediately. Are we gearing up for another dumb war? [BBC]
  • Japanese farmers protested outside the headquarters of Tokyo Electric Power Co. They whined about their crops “being contaminated by radioactive sludge,” or something. [AP]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Yo, Trump, you talkin' to me?!?!

    • baconzgood

      Damn YOU! You beat us all to it and are the 1st comment.

    • JimmyPete

      Donnie boy pretends he's New York but here in Jersey we know he's a Punk, with a capital Pussy P.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Trump is the new Palin.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      If Trump is the new Palin how are all those elderly men going to fap?

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Meanwhile in Frozen Ass Alaska, Sarah Palin weeps into her morning coffee.

      Heh.

    • CapeClod

      Trump would never allow his daughters to get knocked up by white trash.

      • ChessieNefercat

        His daughters' mothers were knocked up by white trash.

    • JimmyPete

      I never thought I'd say this but please don't insult Sarah like that

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    Of course we're not going to war in Syria, Riley. have you seen their pitiful oil production numbers?

    • GOPCrusher

      But they make up for it in hash oil production.

    • zhubajie

      On the one hand, their only oil is olive oil. On the other hand, they are often mentioned in the Bible.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    With all the might and heft of a chigger fart, Donald Trump announced that he was looking to see if the Emancipation Proclamation applied to Kenyan potato bugs.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Chiggrahs, please this is an enlightened site.

      • LesBontemps

        Or is that, "Chigger please"?

    • HistoriCat

      Around here we prefer to be polite – that should be "With all the might and heft of a chegroe fart …"

  • slithytoves

    "I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can’t get into Harvard,” explained Trump.

    Okay, now I really think you're full of shit.

    • freakishlywrong

      Those friends though, they're not "the blacks". Therefore, this is dog whistle for "affirmative action hurts whitey and and that's why the President is an uppity Negro".

      • GOPCrusher

        The article I read this AM, The Donald comes right out and says that Obama getting into Harvard was because of affirmative action.

    • Terry

      Yes, all they had to do to get into Harvard was to contribute a whole bunch of money.

    • lingin

      "I have friends…" alone disqualifies this statement from having any relationship to facts.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Cheer up Trumpette. Those kids can still get into Trump University.

    • MiniMencken

      Getting into Harvard for the undergraduate program is a bit different than for the graduate programs such as the law school. Secondly, New York City and its surrounding communities are usually over represented in the applicant's list from a geographic diversity perspective. Finally, if I was serving on an application committee and I saw a letter of recommendation from Trump, I would nix that kid on the grounds of guilt by association.

      • Tundra Grifter

        MM: There you go with those librul "facts" and "logic" and "reason."

        PS:: Chances are his imaginary "friends" didn't go to Harvard themselves. You know, the kids aren't legacies – aka "Affirmative Action for White Folks."

    • tessiee

      "My friends' sons are very, very, very, very smart."

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Could it be that Trump wasn't smart enough to get into an Ivy and he is jealous?

    • CZL

      Fordham. Lol.

      (Ivy undergrad is an expensive way to rack up a bunch of debt. Ivy grad school is more prestigious, but the Don-Don went to U. Penn.)

  • freakishlywrong

    Has there really ever been a more perfect Republican than the vulgar, morally and ethically bankrupt, "The Donald"? No.

    • ttommyunger

      Well said!

      • Hatrabbit

        Voldemort comes close.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Tell his 'friends with smart kids', highly suspect, to give some more money to the old guard

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      I get tired of people complaining about how their smart kid couldn't get into (fill in the blank) because the spot went to some black kid. Those kinds of excuses keep kids from working harder…

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        And the " my kid didn't make the varsity because the coach doesn't like him" or maybe because he is just not good enough.

        • Barb

          Or any white girl who didn't make Homecoming Queen because the blacks are jealous of her. Yeah, I am talking about my sister's daughter.

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            They (your sisters) really are terrible aren't they?

          • Barb

            Yes, they are.
            Is your avatar Elvis Costello?

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Yup

          • Barb

            My love for him runs deeper than deep. Excellent choice.

      • BerkeleyBear

        And you should hear what the Asian kids have to say about this attitude when mediocre white students get in more readily than they do (or at least did).

        • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

          All I need to do is talk to my aunt and uncle.

      • finallyhappy

        Frequently these rich kids went to prep schools where they were constantly coached/tutored/mentored(if mom and dad didn't hire someone to do their work- I had a friend who wrote her son's papers in HS and another friend who "edited" his kid's papers all through college), some of these expensive schools make sure most students do a number of AP classes(but don't take the AP exams because they would never pass), have every kind of SAT prep, had some professional review and re-write their college essays and college letter of recommendation that made them sound like Jesus Christ come again. Not all kids, of course, but all of the ones Trump is talking about- you can be sure.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Tokyo Electric Electric Power Co."
    Those crazy Japanese and their Engrish. http://www.engrish.com

    • rileywaggs

      YA ALRIGHT. well played.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        I know it's mint juleps at the derby, but what is the cocktail of choice at the egg roll?

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Wow. Trump's really playing with the Racist Card deck now.

    First it was the Birfer Card.
    Now it's the Affirmative Action Card.

    Considering that the odds of entering Hahvahd as a white connected rich kid are much greater than a smart but poor black kid, I have to say he can go fuck himself with his Wharton degree.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, tell me how the Winklevosses of the world always get into the Ivies with no questions asked, but everyone with dusky skin is suspect?

      Oh, wait, I know why – and it isn't pretty.

      • Terry

        Winklevosses and the Bushes.

        • DemonicRage

          No one said that the Winklevosses are mouth breathing cretins, and, as portrayed on film, they are handsome athletes. The ivies need some of those, along with representatives of other groups in the general population. Ya! Go team!

        • Beanball

          "Winklevossi"

  • Chillwaver

    What he really meant is that Barry was too black to go to Harvard…goddamn affirmative action…

    • Omophagist

      Holy shit! The president's black?

  • WinterOuthouse

    Affimitaive Action student is code for, ain't no nigra gonna git edumacated afor my kid. Nigras dont no nuthin anyhow. Uppity urbans nigra need to no them place

    • DemonicRage

      Don't deal in racist fake dialogue, as imagined spoken by racists.

  • SorosBot

    It's not just Obama and De Niro; Trump is also angry at Bill Cosby right now:
    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42549445/ns/today-t

    • Terry

      Oh, please please please let Trump stay in the race until the bitter end. PLEASE. He's showing the insanity of the GOP in huge blinking letters.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Trump for the G.O.P.!

    They are made for each other.

    Dear FSM, please grant me this boon.
    ~

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    I'm just a state-school grad, but i believe George W. Bush went to Harvard.

    and even he managed to cash in on his silver spoon legacy and stay in school – unlike another privileged bloviating hairpiece who couldn't even manage to take all daddy's slumlord connections without getting kicked out of private schools. that man of course – marv albert. Yes!

  • GuanoFaucet

    If I had a dog, it would have jumped to attention while I read that Trump story.

  • horsedreamer_1

    So, he's looking into Obama's enrollment at Columbia & Harvard, but has yet to reveal what he found from previously looking into Obama's "birth" in "Hawai'i".

    At least The Donald has gotten used to reneging on his promises. Seems Presidential to me.

    • tessiee

      "At least The Donald has gotten used to reneging on his promises. Seems Republican to me."

      fxd

  • baconzgood

    I can't wait for that Japanese tomacco.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Why can't these Japanese framers suck it up and take it already? You don't see our fishermen bothering BP with the contamination they caused. Eat the food already. WTF

  • CapnFatback

    “How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard?

    Of course, by "bad," Trump means "one, bad motherfuckin' student."

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    The Trump-et blows, Syria is revolting, and the Japanese farmers were sobbie over their glow-in-the-dark wasabi. Great way to start the mourning. But hey, we got ads. Yea Ken.

    • DemmeFatale

      A good Trump story seems to neutralize the other bad news, and talks me back from the ledge.
      His cartoon-y self is always good for a laugh.
      Bless his heart!

  • Rosie_Scenario

    And Harvard Business School. Amazing, but true.

    • CthuNHu

      Not amazing at all.

      These are the folks who run our economy, after all.

  • Goonemeritus

    Coming from a renowned Rhodes Scholar like the Donald that’s got to hurt.

  • hollywooddood

    Okay, but is our children learning?

  • meufchelou

    So how ARE the Celebrity Apprentice ratings now? That's the key question.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Getting reformatted to become the Celebrity Appendage with first show featuring that one hair that curls for miles on the Donald's head.

      • widestanceroman

        Will it finally be revealed that it is really just one long asshair?

        • tessiee

          I get the feeling The Donald is really just one long asshair.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    Needs more racism.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Actually, I think it's just about maxed out, except maybe for the word "nigra" or it's socially unacceptable cousin.

  • CapeClod

    The bigger question is how a bad student graduates Magna Cum Laude and runs the Harvard Law Review. It must be a conspiracy

    • BerkeleyBear

      It was all done by time travelling Kenyan overlords.

    • riverside68

      Everyone knows that Harvard Law Review is a cesspool of affirmitive action liberals. It's in Boston fer christ sakes!
      The amazing part is he was the first, sure took them long enough!
      Slow witted legatees . . .

    • zhubajie

      By "bad" maybe he means someone who studies instead of goofing off at the frat house all day.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And that fucking Obama used his student deferments to keep himself out of Grenada, let's not forget.

    • CapeClod

      I can never forget it. That weekend was so hairy I almost wasn't able to get back to my job at the post office on Monday.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Oh, no he didn't. The Donald is treading on very thin ice if he wants to discuss intellect, the merits of education, and college admission criteria. Short-fingered vulgarians who live in garish, glass towers shouldn't throw stones.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, that's what I thought when the draft dodger attacked the military record of the veteran with three Purple Hearts.

  • Poindexter718

    Also, WTF? "I HEARD he was a terrible student"?
    So as President Trump: "Word on the street is Cuba's acquired nukes" …
    "They're sayin' he'd make an awesome Supreme Court justice" … "
    "I'm hearing inflation ain't in the cards…"

    • jus_wonderin

      "I have source that says Donald Trump loves the taste of sperm."

      • Poindexter718

        I heard that too.

        • tessiee

          I heard it was santorum.

    • DahBoner

      "Word on the street is Cuba's acquired nukes"

      Translation:

      Trump heard it from some crazy homeless guy over by Union Square, and even had his driver roll down the windows and do another turn around the block (looking for a parking space, of course)….

  • anniegetyerfun

    He needs to stop. If for no other reason than every time he opens his trap, my dad reads the article out loud to me while adding, "What is WRONG with this idiot? He is the stupidest jackass ever." I'm worried about Trump overload; also, my dad has high blood pressure and I am not sure how much more he can take.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yer lucky, a lot of dads would read those articles and say "What's wrong with that? He should be president."

      • anniegetyerfun

        It's true, my dad is awesome. He's also Canadian, so, soshulizms.

      • Terry

        My awesome 80+ yr old, union hall Democrat Dad reads the articles out loud to me and cackles "Ha! Keep talking, Donald. This is the GOP without the window dressing!"

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Yay Dad! It's a drag hearing about uncool Wonkette papas.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    They whined about their crops “being contaminated by radioactive sludge,”

    Time for a remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

  • freakishlywrong

    Meatloaf, should I run for President? The Donald, on his travesty of a reality show. That really is all that needs to be said.

    • tessiee

      I'd rather vote for Meatloaf for President.

  • SorosBot

    That one's easy; as a legacy student; a program which (unlike affirmative action for minorities) actually does admit unqualified students into top-tier schools simply because their parents are rich.

    • CthuNHu

      Uh, not that there's anything wrong with that, right? Donald?

  • comptoneffect

    Is the new Larry Flynt wraparound ad the surprise that Ken was talking about over the weekend?

    • CapnFatback

      We're covered in SEX! Take that, Papa John!

      • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

        I long for the sweet, sweet website embrace of Campbell Brown. Larry kind of creeps me out. Still, I'm clicking through.

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      I hope not. I was really hoping for vid of Breitbart getting pegged while snorting meth (you can snort that stuff, right?) out of his second boytoy's ass.

      • comptoneffect

        I seem to recall that some sort of video was promised. I dunno, after too many gin & tonics the weekend kinda blurs together.

      • WhatTheHolyHeck

        Please please please please please

        I really need to be able to use "popcorn" as a verb again.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Donald Trump? Radioactive sludge? Another war?

    Meh…sounds like a typical news day in post-Apocalyptic America…

  • Ducksworthy

    His records will show that he is black and a beneficiary of affirmative action unlike the white sons of my rich friends (who although coked out and brain dead) and also the sons of Appalachia's trailer courts (who are cranked out and brain dead) would have gone to Harvard except it was already full of Negro's.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Has the countdown clock started on Trump dropping the whole idea of a run? I had an easier time taking Pat Paulsen's run seriously when I was eight years old. Do his own casinos (the ones that aren't bankrupt — WTF) have an over/under on dropping out before or after the Iowa caucuses?

  • SorosBot

    Look on the bright side, farmers; maybe the radiation will turn your crops into giant mutant supercrops,then you'll be ahead.

  • Lucidamente1

    When will Trump demand that Obama denounce and repudiate Rev. Wright?

    • PabaBritannica

      He's too busy telling us that we're clinging to guns and religion!!!11

    • zhubajie

      Maybe Obama should ask Rev. Wright to denounce Trump! That might be fun.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard?"

    How does a bad student [Donald Trump!] go to Fordham, graduate Wharton and then bankrupt a casino? The mind boggles.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    With you on that Clancy. Admit points for legacies/donors should be banned or at most used instead of coin-flips for dead heats.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Trump is just an opening act, softening up the crowd for the equally pernicious but less explicitly crazy main act.

    • zhubajie

      Palin is our destiny! (Maybe our divine punishment.)

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Makes me pine for the days of Hemmoroidal Sarah. At least her pain and itch were funny. The Bigger Chigger just makes me itchy in all the wrong places.

    Or is it just Buster de Bodycrabbe?

    • AJW@[redacted]

      Les Morpion, pour la victoire!

  • jus_wonderin

    Does anybody have this fuckholes email addy?

  • PabaBritannica

    Trump, going after the lucrative PUMA vote. Almost as lucrative as the vaunted Reform Party voter and the Draft Bloomberg movement.

  • genxr

    Phone in your votes now for the hot new GOP reality show. If we go viral I think Snooki has a real chance to cinch the nomination.

    • PabaBritannica

      In the future, all debates will be on Chatroulette.

    • prommie

      She could win, if not for that pesky requirement that the president be over 45, or whatever it says in the Constitution, but they were going to change the Constitution for Arnold, so why not Snookie?

      Oh damn, she wasn't born here, either.

  • CZL

    It's ok for the ne'er-do-well scions of rich white families to go whereever. But a poor "very, very urban" kid should know not to mix with his "betters." How will the lower classes know their place if they think they can succeed on merit and not patronage?

  • DemonicRage

    This is going to be a Presidential Campaign befitting a nation of our stature (starting to go bankrupt and not much respected any more). What do we have: 18 more months of it? Whoopie!

  • AynWithStupid

    Contamination is merely the crust of Japan's shit sandwich. Democracy Now has indicated observers at Chernobyl — which today marks the 25th anniversary of that disaster — still record amounts of leaking radiation even today.
    So (speaking of anniversary-&-such) — that cute Google Doodle of Audubon's birthday? Between nuclear seepage, oil spill wreckage and garbage patch contamination, pretty bird pics are bound to become the next closest means of enjoying nature's bounty, vicariously and second-handedly. Between the scientists who continue to cry foul on these human malfeasances and the artists gracing us w/ something to remember our extinguished species by, the breach widens full of those who want to relegate both artistic and scientific endeavor to the dustbin.
    Shorter form: shit sandwich tastes like shit, the end.

  • prommie

    Affirmative action dogwhistle. Its amazing, when you think of it, that Obama has been free from that insinuation because he is so obviously brilliant. Trump, of all people, is the first to make a major issue out of that old bit of racist white oaf resentment.

    • SorosBot

      It's something that's been percolating among the wingnuts for a while now; I've seen a number of trolls (can't remember if there were any here though) bring up this bullshit, Donald's just the first well-known figure to mention it.

      • undeterredbyreality

        "Which rightwing nutjob blogs do you read, Donny?"

        "All of them, Katie, all of them."

    • Nothingisamiss

      I heard this over and over and over down here durin 2008. "Mah kids can't git to college, but they take people like him…"

      Oh, the arguements I used to have before I blew my brains out.

      Laughs, nothing but laughs.

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    Ya Harvard is starting to look just like Spelman.

  • BZ1

    The Donald seems to need to say, “I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country,” which is code for "I'm kinda dumb"

  • BerkeleyBear

    This is so insane. You can dog whistle all you want, but it works best if the subject of the dog whistle has some kernal of truth. If President Obama were a visible idiot, then you can criticize his acumen. But the man is incredibly smart and has the accolades to prove it.

    What dumbass Donald also doesn't seem to understand is that the President went to one of best high schools in the country and did well enough there (even as a disinterested student) to get into Occidental, which is a pretty selective liberal arts school. So while I'm certain it was a slight advantage in applying for a transfer to Columbia that he would add some diversity (at a time when the Ivy League was still awfully white), it isn't like he was going from being a D student at Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy. All Harvard Law would have cared about were his LSATS and Columbia grades if they were good (and they were).

    • elviouslyqueer

      Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy

      Hey now, be kind when you're talking about Haley Barbour's alma mater.

      • x111e7thst

        I thought it was Squirrel Taxiderming.

      • Nothingisamiss

        "I love that college. I never did have such a pretty perm as when mary lou done studied down there. And such a laugh we had when the squirrel came out lookin' as if he died smilin'."

    • prommie

      Hahvahd law is a bit of a diploma-factory.

    • James Michael Curley

      In 1981 when Obama went transferred to Columbia most of what was called 'affirmative action' in colleges were killed off by the Supreme Court. By the time he went to Harvard in 1988 even the affirmative action replacement of 'quotas' was legally on its death bed.

      Trump, you ASS, Obama got into Columbia and Harvard while Ronald Reagan was president. You need no further facts to rebut your racist charge blathering.

    • tessiee

      "Appalachia College of Beauty and Squirrel Taxidermy"

      Back when I lived in NC, there was a place in downtown Durham called "Mercy Dee's Soul Food Kitchen, House of Beauty Culture, and School of Self-Defense".

      Best.
      Name.
      Ever.

    • tessiee

      "You can dog whistle all you want, but it works best if the subject of the dog whistle has some kernal of truth."

      Sorry, but I'm not quite prepared to agree with you here.

      There's as much factual support for "Obama benefited from affirmative action" (i.e., affirmative action exists) as there is for "Obama isn't a U.S. citizen (i.e., Kenya exists) (both coded racist memes, btw), and look how inexplicably durable that's been.

  • nicnack74

    You stay classy Donald. You like wimmin for their looks, and the coloreds for their entertainment value, not fer their thinkin skillz. God forbid we actually have a Black man for commander in chief. You really are working that southern Strategy well. You might as well just say aloud, "I'll work with him, but I won't work for him." It encapsulates the sentiment of most of white Amurrica.

    I'm sure the dog whistle politics will carry you far. It will get you just as far as it go America's mayor and 9/11. Good luck with that. By the way, I'm sure you have plans, post Apprentice, cus after you've lost some of that celebrity goodwill, you will have to go back to being in boring old real estate full time. For someone as egomanicial as you, I'm sure it will be tough not seeing yourself on TV as much. Have fun, fucker. I look forward to your destroying your own media empire.

  • CZL

    No, that's a Republican code phrase for "the president's a n—–!"

  • jus_wonderin

    Trump. Stone. Cold. Insane. I would say it to his face.

    • ttommyunger

      Hope I never get to see his face, do not like jail.

  • SorosBot

    Can't believe it took me this long to notice, but note that Donald specifically mentions his friends' smart SONS who couldn't get into Harvard; not smart children or kids. Your misogyny is showing along with your racism, Donald.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Hirsute walking colostomy bag sez whut now?

  • Barb

    This is going to be a painful visual. Time magazine explained how his hair is styled in the morning. The hair is brought up from the bottom, below his ears. and combed all the way to the forehead and then brought back and all the way to the bottom where it originated.

    Now think about it. My hair is to my shoulders and I can't get it back to my forehead. That means when Donnie wakes up he walks to the bathroom with a wrinkly old ass and has a mullet that HAS to reach down to his elbows, seriously!

    Marla Maples! America needs you right now. You must have a picture of this that you could share.

    • ttommyunger

      My brain, my brain!!!!!!!

  • x111e7thst

    Wait, so how old was Barry when he left his native Kenya? Cause the timeline to all of this is confusing the hell out of me.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    At IIT in India, you get in one way – by your grades and boards. Although who you know/are typically carries more sway there than it does here, the parents hands have been kept off the door key to their premier techie-U. Result is that globally it ranks among the best.

    • James Michael Curley

      I think I saw that movie. Stars Kal Penn – and you know who he works for – Barack Hussein Obama!

  • Barb

    Nailed me some McCartney tickets yesterday. I'm a happy camper.

  • GregComlish

    C'mon Sarah. You lended this guy some cred, and now he's totally outflanking you! And he's doing it by putting racist batshit in high gear in a way that you would have done if only that mean old John McCain had let you. He's not only stealing your crown of crazy bluster, but also the adoration of your simpering fans, the reality TV plots, and all the grifting opportunities. You and your slow-witted balloon-shaped daughter are becoming more obsolete with every racist dog-whistle that Trump makes. Even the blogs are dropping your ass.

    If you have any functional grifting impulses left, you will realize that Trump is your end. There is only one way to milk this thing and put you back in the headlines: Brutal internecine warfare. You are a diva Sarah. You are the top bitch. Go show Donald that nobody puts Hockey Mom in a corner. Go get 'em Sarahcuda!

    • DemmeFatale

      Why does Donald just make me laugh, while Sarah pisses me off?

    • AJW@[redacted]

      Perfect finale to both her grifting career and his media presence: $arah on the final season of Celebrity Apprentice, starting May 16th or thereabouts.

    • tessiee

      "your slow-witted balloon-shaped daughter"

      If only she were more familiar with balloon-shaped objects, she wouldn't have those two kids.

  • Terry

    Benjamins. Lots and lots of benjamins.

  • ChessieNefercat

    I must say, I am impressed with how well my The Wonkette is keeping up with the ever accelerating parade of crazy/stupid being flung across our great nation like cake batter from upraised beaters lifted out of a mixing bowl.

    • DemonicRage

      Unfortunately, the cake has a batter made out of Santorum.

      • ChessieNefercat

        You're absolutely right. I really didn't intend for what is being flung (spewed?) across the country to sound delicious. Lord knows it's not.

    • LiveToServeYa

      Crazy/stupid is Wonkette's métier. That and TruckNutz and assfucking.

  • hagajim

    Trump is definitely a blowhard asshole…but I never thought of him as a racist…I guess that the prerequisite of being in the GOP…unless your Alan West and then you replace racism with a big dose of misogyny…..what an awesome party….GOP + Great Old Pricks!

  • DashboardBuddha

    But from the picture it looks like Trump likes blackened pork.

  • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    We don't do legacy or donor (bribe) points in our program. Just means we have to spend long hours listening to former grads and rich assholes try to game the system on behalf of their unqualified kids.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      None hook like vaudeville?

  • SorosBot

    Bill will cut through him like Jello.

  • HistoriCat

    They brought two cows?

    Cud libel!

  • DaRooster

    You gotta pay attention when Allen West talks man. If he had friends they could have smart daughters… but you would never know because they SHUT THE FUCK UP…

    (or some shit)

  • mereoblivion

    Surely DeNiro said "shut his FUCKING pie-hole"?

  • DangerHelvetica

    Soon Trump will cite evidence from the 80s documentary "Soul Man".

  • horsedreamer_1

    Lost in all this: Ivanka is an anchor-baby.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Yeah, it isn't as if facts are gonna get in the way of any of this stuff.

  • notreelyhelping

    This won't be over until Trump opens Al Capone's vault.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Did Flynt see America's finest snark/news site under attack from the right and take out an ad buy aimed at saving wonkette from the rightwingnut assault? If so, are we permitted to be tastelessly rude again? I mean, other than toward each other. Tasteless rudeness is a mere right of passage among the sages who share their, ugh, sagery? with one another on wonkette.

    • SorosBot

      Haven't we always been tastelessly rude? But yes, thank you Larry Flynt; here's his famous parody of Jerry Falwell that lead to the famous slander case that the Supreme Court smacked down: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Falwellhustler….

      And, to remember how dangers these racists the Donald is courting can be, remember that Flynt's paralyzed because he was shot by a white supremacist, angry over Hustler running pictures of a black guy fucking a white woman.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Yes, it's amazing that in a few short years we've gone from kicking people who say that kind of shit off the tv and only referring to their statements euphemistically to nominating them for everything from dogcatcher to president, and playing their racist soundbites repeatedly as if they made sense.

    Also: Chigger, please!

  • emmelemm

    He prints out the "web pages" and writes on them in Sharpie.

    • SorosBot

      Wrong; his secretary prints them out and gives them to him.

  • thefrontpage

    Trump, of course, didn't go to Columbia or Harvard. In fact, he couldn't get into a U.S. university because he never could show his proper birth certificate. He could never show his proper birth certificate, of course, because it doesn't exist. He doesn't have a real birth certificate. He's never shown it to anyone! His parents forged a birth certificate and planted fake birth announcements in the local newspaper through the local health department, which actually placed the birth announcements in the local newspapers as part of a cover conspiracy! Trump is actually a radical terrorist Kenyan Muslim Islamic fanatic, and he and his covert terrorist spy radical cohorts and co-conspirators in the radical terrorist underground are working daily to destroy the United States, the West, democracy and freedom. Trump is an illegal alien who should be deported immediately. And what about his high school and college records? They were all forged by the radical Kenyan terrorist underground.

  • __kth__

    Such a classic Trump take: my friends are wealthy, and their children aced the SATs (albeit with $1000s worth of cram courses), and did all the prep-school resume shit like editing the yearbook. Ergo, they are entitled to admission to Harvard, and have every right to insist upon it.

    • finallyhappy

      I went to a prep school graduation here in the Nation's Capitol- every single graduate was the captain or co-captain or editor or team leader of something. Despite a horribly expensive education, very few of the grads were admitted to Ivies or other prominent schools.

  • ChessieNefercat

    Yabbut, he's black!

  • chascates

    So this is what affirmative action results in?

  • undeterredbyreality

    Umm…You're spreading lies. Gotta be careful of those internet sources. Go to the real source:http://is.gd/763Z7E

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. Pretty soon, we are going to lose count on how many wars we are in… Sure, let's declare war on Syria!

    No wonder the world hates us.

    We are so freakin' doomed.

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    Here, at last, is a good use for a Predator drone.

    (1st story BTW)

  • nonbeliever7

    Dammit, I clicked on Larry's Flynt and got the BANNED "Pornography;Political/Activist Groups" IT message. I guess I'll have to blame it on my office mate.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Hey rich-tards, Princeton is your safety school. And they don't look at grades.

    Here's how to apply: arrange to buy the school a new dorm. Send the check taped to your rapey son.

  • glamourdammerung

    I have met many Paultards that make the same claim. Of course, a majority of them also claim they dropped out of high school because the school officials "were out to get them".

  • tessiee

    "morally and ethically, and often financially, bankrupt, "The Donald"

    fxd

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Great way to sign off his correspondence!

  • Duly_Noted

    War with Syria, what a great idea! I get this image of the USA as the drunk asshole in the bar shouting "I can lick any f*cker in this place!"

    Here's ten bucks. Call a cab, you're drunk.

  • tessiee

    Yeah, because we've all seen how The Man discriminates against rich white dunces.

  • tessiee

    With all his fucking money, he could buy 31 slightly longer identical wigs and wear one each day of the month, but I guess that wouldn't be obnoxious enough.

  • tessiee

    "Why doesn't he just get a rug"

    Because when the salesman asked him if he wanted a hairpiece, Dondi thought he was saying "herpes", and he answered, "Thanks, I got enough of those already".

  • BlueStateLibel

    Yeah, it's not like Obama graduated magna cum laude from Harvard and was editor of the Harvard Law Review. Oh wait, he did.

  • DahBoner

    "Obama was a lousy student, and probably cheated his way into Harvard!"

    Like George W. Bush, Bill O' Reilly and Allan Keyes did?

  • DahBoner

    New York Magazine figures out why Trump for President is pretty much "sewing someone's else's ass to your mouth"

  • Schmegeg

    Hey Don, how did you get into Wharton, anyway? I guess Dad didn't pull some strings there.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Like the hawsers that keep an aircraft carrier from drifting away from the dock?

  • Negropolis

    So, what's the end game in all of this? You know, where Trump gets so ridiculous that he even jumps the birther fringe shark?

    So, Obama wasn't born here, and he faked his way into college, or he was AA'ed in, or since "no one remembers him" he didn't even go to college. So, what's the next logical step of this? That he's some kind of foreign agent? Maybe he's an alien? Hell, maybe he doesn't technically exist in our reality, but is an apparition from another?

    Really, where does all of this end?

  • zhubajie

    Bush the younger got into Harvard; obviously they'll take anyone. I regret, now, that I didn't try it.

  • zhubajie

    If they're so smart, why don't they just excel some place else? A good library is the main thing you need, and self-discipline.