And maybe they will get married, those crazy kids.Playgirl model and father of at least one “Palin baby” Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume: literary sensation. Levi, who became famous for impregnating one of Sarah Palin’s children, is the author of the forthcoming Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. C’mon, Levi, those are just surveyor’s marks! The book will have a bunch of crazy stories about Sarah eating Taco Bell and saying that thing about her baby that is a very bad thing to say, unless Sarah or Rush Limbaugh says it. We will buy this book right away! Ha ha, not really, but we will blog about it, when it’s released in the Fall. (We’re saving our Ameros for the Larry Flynt book!)

Tony Pierce at the Los Angeles Times writes:

Levi Johnston, the 20-year-old father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, announced Monday that he is writing a tell-all book about the controversial Alaska family.

Johnston, who fathered a baby boy with Palin’s oldest daughter, Bristol, while the couple were high school sweethearts, says he wrote the book “for me, for my boy Tripp and for the country.”

And now, more than ever, this country needs Levi. [LAT/Radar]

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  • RadioJack

    Trig looks great in that picture. Certainly, worthy of the moniker, "Greatest Living American."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Trig? Tripp? Track? Tran? Trank? Trud? Truck? Trude? Trug? Treme?

      Which one is which, I'm tremendously confused? I don't remember any of them having bleach blonde hair before. Do i need to buy World News Weekly or Enquirer to find out?

      Which was the one with Batboy?

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        damn, of course I shoulda seen yer comment 1st! WIN!

      • ganmerlad

        Have you pointed out another Palin scandal? I know my info is out of date on genetics , but do two dark browns ever make a blond? Damn, you have sent me on a google chase and I have too many tabs open as it is.)


        Answer: can be done. Scandal averted.

      • Beowoof

        You left out Turd, oh that's Sarah, nevermind.

      • MegPasadena


        • tessiee

          I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for Trayfe.

    • Negropolis

      Trig looks great in that picture.

      You are so very naughty.

  • John_Gorenfeld

    One of your best slugs.

    • Thanks John! Very happy to see you here. (I rescued you from the unmoderated troll comments last night!)

      • John_Gorenfeld

        How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?

  • Dan

    You pray for this day to come and when it finally does… no… no words. They should have sent a poet.

    • I'd settle for just a ghostwriter.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Roman Polanski will agree to direct the cinematic adaptation — in exchange for one nite with Piper.

  • bagofmice

    I thought we wanted less Levis , so we could see his Johnston.

    • Extemporanus

      He's bear-assed in this here desecration, but alas, still no Johnston.

      I blame Scott Brown.

      • RadioJack

        That is SO gay.
        BTW, how much is it to get my johnston brown?

  • JoshuaNorton

    Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume: literary sensation.

    It was either that or put on a chicken head and hand out coupons.

    Palins are gonna carry on like a shark attack at a Sunday school.

    • tessiee

      "Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume"

      This word "another"; I don't think it means what you think it means.

      • techmom

        Another means "an". It's the long version.

  • mavenmaven

    Great title. Think he came up with it himself?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Spoiler Alert: No, he did not.

    • El Pinche

      The original title was "How I Banged a Palin and Fuckin Chilled"

      • horsedreamer_1

        That was the original title for the Monty Python biopic (as told from the perspective of their WAG's).

    • ttommyunger

      I'm guessing erections are the only thing Levi comes up with on his own. Too bad he had some help getting rid of some.

    • Negropolis

      Is Donald Trump a serious presidential candidate?

      Come on, man.

  • pinkocommi

    Hasn't Levi been bad-mouthing Sarah Lou for years now? Selling inside scoops about her petty craziness to the highest bidder? He's been holding back and there's more?!!

    • Swampgas_Man

      One assumes this is the Whole Package, collected in one place — like Wonkette.

  • So I guess this is where he spills everything about Sarah referring to Trig as "her RETARDED baby".

    • That's only bad when somebody else says it … somebody other than Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh.

      But the former governor went to great and sometimes awkward lengths to insist that when conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh used the same exact term to describe the same exact group, it was simply in the role of political humorist.

      "They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh," she said, when read a quote of Limbaugh calling liberal groups "retards." "Rush Limbaugh was using satire … . I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'f-ing retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there."

      • Was that link always in the original post or did I miss it 'cause I'm 'tipsy' or perhaps, retarded?

      • jus_wonderin

        Gawd, she is such a fuckin cunt. Two faced cunt, btw.

      • mumbly_joe

        Oh man! If only this were some sort of "humor" blog that used "satire" to make "the funny", I'm pretty sure Lou Sarah and Team Trig Screw would have given us all a full pass on everything!

        Also, if I'm reading that correctly, she's also saying that Rushbo agrees with liberals about everything, since he's obviously not calling a group that disagrees with him retards, when he said that about liberals. Lolwut?

    • GOPCrusher
  • noodlesalad

    So, the deer is in the headlights and also the crosshairs? Does this mean that Sarah Palin also hunts from her PT Cruiser, in addition to the helicopter shootin'?

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'm guessing she has crosshairs on her headlights so she can claim she hunted for every piece of roadkill she makes.

      Or are those surveying marks? I haz confuzed.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Oh dear. I hope Levi doesn't end up in the truck of a car parked at some airport. No one will find him for weeks because everyone at the airports are either strip searching little girls and grannies in wheel chairs, or stealing valuables out of luggage, or sleeping. Airport personnel are busy people.

    I'll pass on the book and wait for the made for tv movie.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Ooh, Lifetime!

    • GOPCrusher

      Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.

    • tessiee

      He won't end up in the trunk of a car.
      He might have a "hunting accident", though.

  • aguacatero

    "What a long, strange …" nah.

    • riverside68

      What a short, ordinary and depressing trip it's been . . .
      Except, of course, for all the money and attention after Meg's dad plucked us from snowgrifter oxycontin obscurity

  • nounverb911

    Sarah's warming up the helicopter and calibrating the sights on her rifle.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Good Christ*. What a fucking cunt. Re Barack: "He graduated Harvard Law magna cum laude". Yeah, claim that's a bad student, Fordham-tard. Go on. Oh, you did.

      How is this asstard taken seriously? GWB went to Yale and got the "Gentleman's C" in most classes. That's a crap student getting affirmative action.

      * There is no God.

    • OkieDokieDog

      How the hell did "C" student GWBush get into Yale?

      Oh yeah, daddy's connections. Then into the National Guard where he did… who the hell knows? Besides avoid a tour of Vietnam.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Happens the world over, but that doesn't make it right.

        Hopey, as much as we are disappointed here, is an intellectual powerhouse. Anyone who claims otherwise with that teleprompter nonsense or Trump's "bad student" shit is an idiot. When he addressed that Republican get-together and went over his hour because "this is fun" without notes, it was without compare in modern US political history. He was destroying them off the cuff. It was more like the "Prime Minister's Question Time" I'm used to when I lived in the UK.

        In my memory, Republicans have only voted in one intelligent president, and that was GHWB. In the words of Daniel Patrick Moynihan "At least George thinks on occasion. Reagan never did". Clinton was a supreme intellect, and it's my belief that Obama is as well.

        • Swampgas_Man

          That "supreme intellect" stuff is why the Repug and the Trig-lovin' 23% hated their guts; although you or I might "want a beer" w/ someone who could actually converse, the Noisy Minority wants a good ol' boy who could choke on a pretzel.

          • tessiee

            "Chew, Mr. President! Chew, Sir!"

        • genxr

          Big words confuse and anger me. I want slogans that make me feel smart agggh

      • BarackMyWorld

        In fairness, Dubya later earned an M.B.A. from Harvard Business school.

        Somehow he graduated.

        • dizzeeboy

          Back in undergrad at UMass, I had an old prof who claimed that HBS issued no failing grades; Honors Pass, High Pass, Low Pass. Don't be fooled by Dubya's MBA.

    • Negropolis

      This almost makes me as angry as Franklin Graham's "I may endorse" the thrice-married, lying, thieving, cheating Donald Trump over the actual Christian Barack Obama, because I'm an unscrupulous, inconsistent shit-bag.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Did you see him on Lawrence O'Donnell last night? Boy, if there ever was a more smug, self-serving charlatan I'd be surprised.

    • fuflans

      </snark off> good GOD! can you imagine having your credentials, your life, your work, your history, your bloody BIRTH CERTIFICATE questioned by the likes of this mugwort?

      when barry was at harvard, the donald was likely on his fourth bankruptcy and second divorce and god knows what number of spawn.

    • arihaya

      now if only Barry is a bloody dictator like what teabaggers said, he would have stuffed Trump and his synthetic hair and mail them to Siberia

    • Trumpette thinks he's talking in code about affirmative action racial preferences. And that is exactly what the Obama haters will hear. The hideous part of his smear is that Trump had the enormous advantage of wealthy parents. And I can only imagine the government subsidies he drew on for his projects. Especially — it must be said — the government protections of bankruptcy.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Trump added, "I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can't get into Harvard." Hmmmm.

      Friends: Sycophants. Do they count?
      Great marks: Easy pickings for the 3-card monte artists
      Great boards: Never heard that before. Great racks? Bodacious ta tas?
      Great everything: "And I've checked them all out…"
      Still can't get into Hahvad: Recognized as too fucking sycophantic and just plain stupid.

      Translation courtesy of Google foreign language translation service

    • Oblios_Cap

      That's the only way he knows how to be.

    • ganmerlad

      When can Obama finally sue for slander?

      Obama's father went to Harvard (got a master's degree in economics) and his mother got a doctorate in anthropology at U of Hawaii…talk about a pair o' dummies. How could Obama POSSIBLY have gone to Harvard after falling off *that* idiot tree?

      Grrr. This crap is really getting on my nerves.

  • chascates

    The high point of Levi's life was appearing at the GOP convention with a new suit of clothes. No marriage, no reality tv show, no music career, and a book that will be remaindered almost upon being published.

    • Jukesgrrl

      The "no marriage" bit is probably the best piece of luck he's had in his life.

      • tessiee

        This time around; given the population where he lives, next time he could very well be looking up a shotgun barrel.

    • DemonicRage

      Do you remember how Grampy McCain put his hand on Levi's back and rubbed it, awkwardly? Such a 'ham biscuits' moment!

  • fuflans

    in related news, italian police seized 21 tons of easter candy covered with mold and parasites.

    • bumfug

      Those Italians really know good food….

    • SayItWithWookies

      What?! Think of how many American orphans won't have easter candy as a result of this.

    • Extemporanus

      "Easter candy" is Italian for "Berlusconi's Viagra".

  • The Palin family reaction should be fun in a completely disgusting fashion, like rolling a hand grenade into a chicken coop. A bloody mess too revolting to ignore.

    • TheMightyHaltor

      Deep down you know Sarah's actually rejoicing at this revelation. It might keep her afloat for another news cycle.

      • tessiee

        AND give her a golden opportunity for even more self-pity, so it's win-win.

  • I'm truly surprised he's been allowed to live this long, and imagine they'll be an "explosion" related to meth production that will take out his entire family (except the baby). The book notes on the hard drive of a computer will be destroyed as well — or that will be the official story.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      They don't let Levi ever see the baby anyway. Karma's going to be a bitch, Snowbilly!

    • tessiee

      He'd better have someone else start his snowmobile in the mornings.

  • Negropolis

    Did I ever mention how much I despise Levi? It's almost to the same degree that I despise Sarah Lou Who.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      But why? He's just some two-a-penny douchebag who you could find across America.


      Never mind.

      • Negropolis

        He's a whore that will do and say anything for a buck…just like his almost-mother-in-law. I don't believe a word out of his mouth, to be honest, and I'm always really irked about rabid Palin-haters wanting to here his stories as if he can be trusted. I don't care enough about Palin as a person to wait on Levi's every word about something that probably never happened in that household.

        • trumpbly_joe

          Honestly, I can understand the impulse- if I a high-school drop-out single parent in one of the great backwaters, I'd milk my fifteen minutes for everything they were worth too- especially if I recognized that a certain vindictive harpy and her cult-like following were just as likely to dump on me with abandon either way. Not every idiot yokel has a millionaire ex-half-governor parent to invent a six-figure job out of thin air for them, after all.

          I think he's likely to be a lying grifting fameball too, don't get me wrong- but on the other hand, I'm a libtard because I tend to root for the underdog, and it really did bug me the way cuntbilly brought the full weight of her undeserved money, power and influence to bear to destroy a teenaged high-school dropout and keep him away from his child, while also harping on "family values" in her grifty speeches.

          • tessiee


            Levi may be a white trash dimwit with a brain the size of a lentil, who just happened to fertilize the right/wrong egg, but he's not that different from millions of other white trash dimwits around the world. His potential for doing harm is miniscule compared to his in-laws.

          • Negropolis

            I generally don't fault a man for trying to make money for his family, and I don't have ANY sympathy for Palin, but I hate some fellow libs are hanging on this guy's every sensationalist word as if it's gospel truth. He's the Palins' Ahmed Chalabi.

            Sarah didn't go after this guy until he started saying stupid shit about her for a buck after McCain/Palin bombed. Again, I'm not a fan of whores, whether it be Sarah Palin or Levi Johnston.

          • mumbly_joe

            Well meh. I know he's said a lot that ranges from unlikely to implausible, but I'm not aware of anything that's been actually exposed as a full-on lie- if you have a particular example, I'd actually (LITERALLY) love to see it, because it would be news to me.

            By contrast, Lou Sarah has what can only be referred to as Dishonesty Tourrettes. She lies, baldly, constantly, and often in ways that are debunkable at the time she says them and frequently do her little or no actual benefit versus the truth. And she does this with such regularity that it's astounding. The two are so not in the same league here that they're practically playing different games. If I were forced, by gunpoint, to take one of their words as the gospel truth, I know it wouldn't be the ex-half-governor.

            Also, my recollection was that Sarah started going after him pretty much when the issue of Tripp's custody was coming up,and that the causation was actually reversed there. I don't really have a definitive timeline here, though, but I was pretty sure the "Johnny Hollywood" nonsense pre-dated his 10/28/09 Today show appearance (not obsessed, just google-literate)

            Again, I agree that he's a fameball who's telling people what they want to hear, and he really is a pretty hateable person, truth be told. And honestly, I have no idea how honest he's being about anything- I'm not Sully over here- except insofar as "more than Lou Sarah" is a meaningful benchmark (it isn't).

    • Terry

      Yeah, but he annoys all of the various Palins so he gets points for that.

    • GOPCrusher

      He's The Grifter's grifter.

      • Negropolis

        Yeah, I wonder what it feels like to be the parasite of a parasite? I mean, this is the bottom of the food chain, right here.

  • bumfug

    Thank god I have time to finish Larry Flynt's book about Woodrow Wilson getting a stroke from his wife's blow job and other tales of spoo in the halls of power before this fucking masterpiece comes out.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Woodrow Wilson getting a stroke from his wife's blow job


    • Cheetah Repeater

      Wha…a president having sex with his own wife?! Now I know that shit's made up.

    • ganmerlad

      It says his latest tome is now available where ever books are sold. I shall pop over to the Christian bookstore down the street forthwith. Hopefully they have his biography on Wilson as well because it sounds really sexy.

      • tessiee

        And even if they don't, your request will have the staff clutching their pearls and fainting all over the store, so you pretty much can't go wrong.

  • RadioJack

    You think that charade in England is pitifully overhyped, imagine if these two fuckbirds got married. Wasillibilly Wedding Royale.
    Family Fucking Values.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I'm still not convinced a wedding is off the table. If a network such as that stupid "Learning" Channel offered them enough dough, those two grifters would sign in a heartbeat and "star" in a program that's as "realistic" as Jersey Shore.

    • Terry

      Flav-o-flav should officiate to give the occasion the right level of dignity.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I'm thinking more Flav for Best Man & Birgitte Nielsen for Maid-of-Honour. Henry Rollins can preside. (Remember when Ol' Hank, as well as Chuck D & Weird Al, moderated the panel-discussion on VH1's The List?)

        • tessiee

          Britney Spears for Matron of Honor and all the various offspring for flower girls, ring bearers, etc.

  • Extemporanus

    I'm gonna make like a lazy-ass snowbilly and just cold re-post my shitty Johnston jape from deep in the bowels of Barb's off-topic(?) Gifford post comment (sorry 'bout that, Gabby!):

    I eagerly await the inevitable release of The First Dude's tell-all as well: Queer in the Tailpipe: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crotch Hairs.

    The chapter in which he describes in excrutiating detail how he gnawed off his own cock to free himself from a baby-sized boulder that had pinned him against the walls of her dry, cavernous cunt is gonna be a real fuckin' page turner!

    I'll redouble my drinking pace posthaste, and essay a second effort. Or pass out.

    Also, too, both.

    • El Pinche

      HAHA!! Oh god, but its so tasty.

    • RadioJack

      Alternative titles for first dude's tell-all: 127 Months of Solitude: My Wife of the Frigid North or Retards in the Midst.

    • ttommyunger

      Worth waiting for, worth reading twice. Too bad Levi can't read, he would enjoy it, too.

  • SarahsBush

    Crosshairs? Has Levi been hanging out with Gabrielle Giffords? Because there is "target" and there is "being caught in the crossfire" is what I'm trying to say here.

    • [redacted]hse

      I think it has something to do with a hair across her ass, although I'm not certain why he was caught there.

  • Doktor Zoom

    A plague o' both their double-wides!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Tolstoy said that there's only one way to have a happy family, but there are an inifnite number of ways to have an unhappy one. Tolstoy clearly forgot to account for the duplicative effect of inbreeding on his calculations.

  • charlesdegoal

    Proust-like perhaps, except it's not his madeleine he was dipping.

  • memzilla

    One would think that this book might retard La Mooselini's aspirations, with more downs than ups, a political China Syndrome with no special needs for trig or calc skills to compute.

    /end content filter test

    • emmelemm

      I see whatchu did there.

    • Cheetah Repeater


  • Fare la Volpe

    Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum.

    But enough about Bristol.

    • ttommyunger


  • Can the lad dance?

  • TootingTricky

    "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs"

    That's one well-mixed metaphor there.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Moose in the Headlights: My Life with Sarah Palin Having Me By the Shorthairs


    • Then again, headlight hunting was a beloved Wasilla pastime in the days before the Taco Bell.

  • bflrtsplk

    Levi's upcoming tell-all will, of course, be in comic book format.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Shouldn't it be "Moose in the headlights?"
    Anyway, I posted once before what the opening line of this book should be:
    "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a teenage hockey jock in possession of a penis is in want of a condom."

    • Terry

      of "A Fucking Redneck in the Headlights"

    • tessiee


  • arihaya

    My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs.

    this could've been title for Gabrielle Giffords' autobiography too

  • Steverino247

    Since Sarah Palin is the thinnest-skinned politician in history, any lie Levi might tell, will prompt so much "protesting too much" that it will make him look credible by comparison.

  • zhubajie

    So is this a real words-in-a-row book? Or a manga?

    • DashboardBuddha

      I'm thinking it should be a choose-your-own-adventure book.

  • zhubajie

    Wasn't Sarah and al-Mansoor begging for more media attention? Maybe this'll do it!

  • …he wrote the book “for me, for my boy Tripp and for the country.”

    Pretty much why I write wonkette comments. At least he (and I) don't do it for money.

  • Which magazine will add this to their "most influential book" list? Hmmmm

  • LouBristol

    Levi and Bristol's kid is blond? I call shenanigans.

    • Do we have Glenn Beck's DNA?

      • Terry

        Do we have the DNA of random truckers who drive through Wasilla?

        • LouBristol

          Meghan McCain is blonde.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Meghan's the mother!?

          • LouBristol

            Donald Trump* is blond.

            *or The Entity Living Atop Donald Trump's Head

    • GOPCrusher

      And that air-brushed magazine cover, gives him a certain Aryan look.

  • Trannysurprise

    That is the cutest baby ever! I can't say enough how precious it's little life is to me no matter what is wrong with it.

    I, for one, LOVE ALL THE PALIN BABBIES!!1!!!!!!!

    • ttommyunger

      Here, here. (quietly rethching). Or is it Hear, Hear?

      • ChapterUndVerse

        There, there. Also.

        • ttommyunger

          Thank you, thankyouverymuch!

  • SorosBot

    So because of the latest banner ad, I guess the trolls are going to have to boycott sex. Not that that will make any difference for their lives except to give them an excuse.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I hope it's released like The Green Mile was – in small protions, each with a cliffhanger ending – over the course of this presidential election cycle.

  • iburl

    "Johnston, who fathered a baby boy …"

    I think "sired" or "spawned" would be more appropriate than "fathered".

  • Terry

    How did those two produce that blonde headed baby?

    • DashboardBuddha

      What is about cable installer that you don't understand?

      (I was going to use "milkman", but given our young hipster demographic, I doubt many would get it)

      • Ruhe

        Cable installer? Is that another self-describing metaphor that Levi is going to add to the mix?

        • DashboardBuddha

          You may be thinking of "laying pipe"

          • GOPCrusher

            Levi The Plumber?

    • Arken

      I can't believe I'm defending this, but I have a blonde-headed baby (and I was a blonde-headed baby myself) despite my wife and I both having dark hair now. Baby hair can start blonde and turn dark.

      • ttommyunger

        Sadly, you are correct-o.

  • Terry

    Better yet, on the burrito wrappers at Taco Bell.

  • [redacted]hse

    I thought he already "spilled" all over them.

  • As a devout Trigger conspiracy theorist I call bullshit unless he tells where Bristol was hiding for the nine months before Sarah's miracle baby was born.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure this book will be as eagerly anticipated as George RR Martin's A Dance With Dragons has been by the reading public.

  • politics_nerd

    Will wait for the movie (Nailin Little Palin)

    • ttommyunger

      Little? Have you seen that bitches thighs?

  • Cheetah Repeater

    You've probably heard about hook up stories online and I never thought it would happen to me until I came to Wonkette to post a snarky comment about the Palins. It all started when…

  • DashboardBuddha

    OT, but I feel like sharing and anyway, it's at least related to the Palin klan…

    I had the weirdest damn dream. I was watching a football game between Bills and the Dolphins at Buffalo. Miami was winning, but through trickery rather than actual playing. Sarah Palin sang the national anthem, but it wasn't our anthem, it was a song she wrote called, "Don't Pull the Claws Out Of These Paws". Then Sarah was in my livingroom(!) complaining how the local Curl up and Dye beauty shop made her look stupid.

    • jus_wonderin

      Dashboard, are you trying to WIN me???

    • [redacted]hse

      They said DON'T eat the brown acid.

    • Buckminster

      Should not eat ice cream after midnight!

  • dox[acted]

    Title? Check. Subtitle? Check. Mixed metaphor? DOUBLE CHECK, Y'ALL!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    For those of you who read Sully's blog, he must be the happiest gay man in America right now!

  • Mahousu

    For those who need the title explained, I offer these verbatim quotes from the Urban Dictionary:

    Deer: An attractive young male in his early 20s and the main food source of a cougar.

    Headlights: breasts, boobs, tits.

    I hope this clarifies things.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Judging by her shot(s, and five times reloading) in Sarah Palin's Alaska travelogue about her inability to hit a caribou – I think being in her cross-hairs would be the safest place. It's her flying monkeys you have to worry about.

    And hasn't Levi learned the art of over-Alasssskanizing everythin for the sake of artificial folksy charm by titling the book: Caribou (or Moose) in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Surveyor Marks.

  • jus_wonderin

    Oh my. I will have to buy this book. Better yet, is there an audio book that Levi reads…in the nude?

    • DashboardBuddha

      Are you saying he has a penis face made for audio?

    • Gopherit

      No well placed hockey sticks this time. Just a microphone.

  • Ruhe

    "…announced Monday that he is writing a tell-all book…" I read that and I just picture him sitting in front of a computer looking anxiously at the keyboard…like a deer in the head lights? "OK, here we go, I'm gonna write this thing…now. Right now. Here I go, knockin' it out. OK, gonna start this book thing…right…now. Man this is hard."

  • x111e7thst

    OT but did Levi finally get his high school equivalency diploma? Cause that shit's hard.

  • DustinDeWynde

    Holy shit.

    Goodbye, and Good Luck, to Papa John's Pizza, and FUCKING YAY on Larry Flint.

    'I sense a Great Disturbance in the Breitbart Troll Force, as if a million clicks rang out in terror, and were first met with imponderable silence, only to be follow by peals of never-ending, pants-wetting, laughter.'

    Well played, Mister Layne, well fucking played.

    What I wouldn't give to be a Fly On The Wall in a million basements right now, just to watch these pinheads heads explode right now in impotent inchoate purple faced rage.

    All that said, where's the Breitbart video from last Thursday night?

    What's the hold-up with that?

  • WinterOuthouse

    Johnston should be given an award. He actually spent time inside the Palin Compound. He was right in the middle of the crazy. His story will parallel any Vets harrowing nightmare. A must read.

    • GOPCrusher

      It will almost be worth a dollar when it comes out in paperback form to my local Dollar General.

  • BZ1

    Johnston on his johnson, tasteless?!

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    This can go on his mantle right next to his champion bull rider trophy from when he managed to hang onto Bristol past the 8 second buzzer

  • ttommyunger

    "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs" I can only assume Levi's tome will be complete with pop-up art depicting his engorged phallus and her swollen, horse-fucked mons pubus. I will anxiously await Tod's upcoming effort: "Dummy Dodging the Crab Lice: My Life in Sara Palin's Crotch-Hairs!".

  • Eve8Apples

    The nominating committees for the Pulitzer, Nobel Prize and National Book Awards had better give this upcoming masterpiece the props it deserves.

  • mereoblivion

    Isn't he too old to be famous?

  • MissTaken

    Not gonna lie, I just may buy this book (oh, and I'm definitely getting the Larry Flynt book). Levi was just a hot blooded teenager looking to get his dick wet and convinced Bristol, and very POSSIBLY, Sarah to do it without a condom.

    Honestly, more power to him.

    • Gopherit

      That didn't take much convincing. Jesus hates condoms.

  • Gopherit

    It's better than his first title: Places I fucked Bristol before She Found Jesus.

    Chapter 1: In the Butt
    Chapter 2. The Snow Mobile
    Chapter 3: Don't You Eat at that Table?

  • DemonicRage

    OK. So this book is going to retail for–what?–$24.95 or something like that, but you can buy a used copy of Jane Austen's "Persuasion" on Amazon Marketplace for one cent plus postage. SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Coming of age? Bullshit. The Red Badge of Courage was a coming of age story. Levi's book is nothing more that self-absorbed wankery and fame whoring.

  • __kth__

    Assuming that it's the same Tony Pierce that was a warblogging OG, y'all should click through, if only for the good times.

  • hagajim

    Levi Johnston….Urinary Sensation….go Levi…flush yourself right down the famwhore toilet too….also.

  • "Johnston, who fathered a baby boy with Palin’s oldest daughter, Bristol, while the couple were high" …is writing a book.


  • FannyBurney

    The penis mightier than the word.

  • tessiee

    [from the link]

    ""They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh," she said, when read a quote of Limbaugh calling liberal groups "retards." "Rush Limbaugh was using satire …"

    The spiral was getting tighter and tighter, so I knew that it was only a matter of time, and now we have it:

    Sarah Palin is persecuting herself.

  • tessiee


  • ttommyunger

    So long as they were fappable.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Today, we are all 20 year-old fathers of Sarah Palin's grandson.

  • JosephDrake

    I am commenting here on a Palin related post because you have, as you should have, removed the shameless post poking fun at a Down's syndrome child simply because the child is related to a person with whom you disagree politically. I myself am a political progressive who has poked fun at Palin and disagreed with her politics repeatedly, although in the interest of full disclosure, I am a pro-life progressive of the Consistent Life sort. Making fun of a Down's syndrome child is about as progressive as Nazi's laughing at their victims. I don't think a mere apology is sufficient. I believe your staff should do penance, and where I your priest I would send you to help at the Special Olympics. I shall advise you to do so voluntarily.

    • Negropolis

      Really, go lie to someone else about who you are, 'cause we couldn't care less.

      Oh, and take your disgusting Holocaust comparison with you. The irony.

  • JosephDrake

    On further comment about your recent post on Sarah Palin's down syndrome child–fair game would be to make fun of Palin for supporting budget policies that hurt the disabled. That would be an adult use of satire.

  • Negropolis

    I get it from both sides.

    I'm sure you do, probably in more ways than one…

    Now, stop spamming this blog and go away and take your self-righteous, Holocaust-exploiting ass with you. Thanks.

    See just how quickly you can lose your credibility when you decide to do stupid shit like this?

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