Atlas Shrugged: Part I has once again been eclipsed at the box office by the epic socialist propaganda romance Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, coming in at 18th and 17th, respectively. What’s worse:

The movie hauled $879,000 over the weekend; more importantly, it only made an average of $1,890 per screen. The first week, it made $5,600 per screen. Producers have been talking about expanding the film to 1000 screens by the end of the month, but even in a remarkably lame year for Hollywood films (Water for Elephants, anyone? Anyone?) there’s no new audience discovering the film.

Receipts were about halved from last week. Who’s to blame? How about the liberal media?

And the fact that this movie touches on many of the problems we face today, and that we in the tea party movement are fighting, explains why so many liberal movie critics have slammed this movie and urged people not to see it. They don’t want you to see this movie, because they don’t want you to see the truth about what is happening in America today.

Ah yes, they’ve spent their careers as film critics so they could one day give a bad review to a small libertarian movie and thus destroy conservative FOREVER. [Weigel]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • ttommyunger

    Moviegoers shrugged.

    • flamingpdog

      At las'.

  • jdoleman

    As this is such an important film series I think the government should subsidize the next installment.

  • Meh, I'll wait til it comes out on cable so I can thumbsdown it on TiVo with that satisfying *wham-wham-wham* sound.

  • SorosBot

    "The movie touches on many of the problems we face today" – huh, I had no idea we were lacking in long, tedious, dull conversations about trains, or really really awkward sex.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Judd Apatow Presents…?

      • CliveWarren

        Seth Rogen is… Train Railington – a hilariously chubby, pot-smoking conductor.

        • horsedreamer_1

          It's an Unstoppable re-boot.

          • TheEmbiggening

            I keep telling you people not to posit these things aloud – too late, it's lit.

    • trumpbly_joe

      To be fair, my mounting alcoholism is a problem we face today, and from what I've heard, this movie features enough daydrinking to make Don Draper look like a teetotaler.

    • chicken_thief

      I thought the biggest problem they faced was getting uphill on them fucking scooter things. Silly me….

    • glamourdammerung

      I was not aware that the country was particularly lacking in rapes myself.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Market forces are a bitch, bitches.

    • freakishlywrong

      That's the sound of the invisible hand clapping.

  • Rats, it appears my comment hit the "unfunnneh filter." And this movie is still destined for the bins.

    • emmelemm

      Don't feel sad… it happened to all of us at some point this weekend.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "They don’t want you to see this movie, because they don’t want you to see the truth about what is happening in America today."

    No, it's probably because they don't want you to waste your hard-earned shekels and two-plus ungetbackable hours of your life on a movie that blows dead dogs.

  • Barb

    Let's see….it cost 10 million to produce and took in $879,000.00. I haven't seen the lunchboxes or any of the toys at ToyRUs and I am not sure if they have a tie in with Happy Meals. By Donald Trump's twisted math this movie is a success!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe they should have gone for the tie-ins with Papa John's Pizza; as I understand it they just had a huge chunk of their advertising budget come available.

      • Barb

        I'm an armchair marketing critic in my spare time. I notice every ad on TV and I have an opinion on it. Check out the latest Papa John's commercial. 90% of the ad is shots of him, throwing cute glances at the camera and 10% is of the actual food product.

        The focus should be on his product with long shots of pizza, bread sticks, etc. Show me an icy glass of Coke and whatever they have for dessert. Unless you read their menu you wouldn't even know that they sell salads. It's all about "Papa's in the HOUSE!" Dude, you make my pizza! I don't want to be your friend. You are a little dwarf man who is addicted to plastic surgery.

        Don't get me started on how the Subway ads make the sammiches look so plump that you have to unhinge your jaws to take a bite.

    • Boxofficeruptcy in 3, 2, 1 ….

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Better Movie:

    Me [making pursed lips the size of a straw] "Hey Breitbart [point at lips]! Koch suckers cramp-get it?"

    Breitbart: "Ha ha, yeah, I get it."

    Me: "How often?"

    Cut to the Donald getting run over by anything, gruesomely.

    It's a comedy.

    • petehammer

      Studio executive: What is the CGI budget for the special effect of Trump being run over?

      EatsBabyDingos: Special effect?

      • BarryOPotter

        EatsBabyDingos: "Budget?! Fuck it! We'll do it live!"

    • GOPCrusher

      I laughed! I cried! I kissed five bucks goodbye!

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    I'm pretty sure a theatrical release of "2 Girls 1 Cup" would gross more than this shitheap.

    • emmelemm

      "would gross more"

      Great pun, or greatest pun ever?

  • SorosBot

    Also from the rant Weigel quotes – "Yes, we get it, liberal film critics. You all can't stand free markets…" Nope, in this case the Free Market is working perfectly well to ensure that a shitty movie fails.

    • petehammer

      But think of the power film critics wield! Remember how Duma grossed over 1 billion dollars whilst Michael Bay had to go back to waiting tables?

      • SorosBot

        It's funny that, when a perceived liberal movie flops it's a sign that the Market has triumphed and Americans all hate liberals, yet when naked conservative propaganda fails, it's a conspiracy by the liberal critics (see also: An American Carol).

  • Atlas Shagged?

    • nounverb911

      Atlas Gagged?
      (I tried to delete the duplicate but it keeps replicating itself.)

      • horsedreamer_1

        Starring everyone's spinner fantasy, Gage?

        • smartalek1

          I think she spells it "Gauge," as in double-barrel 12…

          …or so I've heard…


          wait, what?

          • horsedreamer_1

            I'd like her double-barrels pointed my way.

  • $exy$murf

    I got a great idea for part 2:

    Tyler Perry's Medea Shrugged

    • horsedreamer_1

      He already did an Objectivist film: The Family that Preys.

  • Lucky coincidence: I don’t want to see the truth about what is happening in America today.

    Unfortunately, it's hard to turn away from this car wreck.

  • Hey Objectivist-tards!!!! Where's your invisible hand noooow?

    • Pumping the idiots who financed this film in the rear.

  • Doktor Zoom

    "so many liberal movie critics have slammed this movie and urged people not to see it."

    Yep, because bad reviews will kill off a movie. I mean, just look at the impact that all those negative reviews had on Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

    • mourningnmerica

      I was going to go see it. Then I read a liberal review, and I changed my mind, because the reviewer said that I shouldn't go see it.

      • smartalek1

        me too!
        and it's completely unsurprising, because, as everyone knows, liberals are so good at following orders, marching in lockstep, speaking and acting as one

  • CapeClod

    But if it fails then we won't get to see part II and we will never find out how the objectivists foil the socialist parasites.

    Seriously, if you think a movie with a plot line like that is any good then please drop out of society and leave the rest of us alone.

    • SorosBot

      And how can we do without seeing the at least an hour of one guy's angry never-ending speech?

      • CapeClod

        Which I'm sure they planned to film in one shot, starting wide and then slowly, (and I mean REALLY slowly,) ending tight on the actor's face.

        • CliffHendroval

          Actually, they planned to do it in 3 parts. If they did, certainly ASII would be more successful, as it would end with a trainload of the baggers' enemies, including a woman whose crime it was to be married to a state employee, being gassed. Yes, in Atlas Shrugged, Rand had a trainload of her enemies gassed to death, and you can bet that she wrote that scene with one hand.

          • smartalek1

            don't forget the young alan greenspan's impassioned defense of the book in general, and that scene in particular, from a less-than-adulatory review in the NYTimes:

            "Atlas Shrugged is a celebration of life and happiness. Justice is unrelenting. Creative individuals and undeviating purpose and rationality achieve joy and fulfillment. Parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should."

  • $exy$murf

    They don’t want you to see this movie, because they don’t want you to see the truth about what is happening in America today

    You mean like shitty movies ruining the film industry?

    That's a joke. It's still legal to tell jokes in Breitbart's America, right?

  • Sue4466

    And if that won't work, there's always the illegul messicans, the nigras, the women, the poors, the teachers, the foster kids, public union workers, the gays, the muslins,

    Really, you can't be wrong when your a Republican, because everything is "their" fault.

  • petehammer

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: Americans have interest for only ONE train movie in their lives. That movie was Under Siege 2: Dark Territory*. So! Take note, "Unstoppable" and "Atlas Shrugged," the well is dry! Unless your film features Morris Chestnut and Katherine Heigl**, don't expect to have an audience.

    *(Technically, it is 1.5 films, US2:DT and the end part of "Speed." Again, the interest has now been exhausted)
    **(The White Buddha's omission here merely reflects the fact that it is obvious on its face that a train movie must involve Seagal).

    • BaldarTFlagass

      What, no love for "Runaway Train?" Even with two dicks in the leading roles, it was pretty good.

      • petehammer

        The only "Runaway Train" movie I recognize is the music video for Soul Asylum's song.

      • Doktor Zoom

        "Runaway Train" doesn't count, because it was a good movie.

    • SorosBot

      What about Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited? Or do you have something against quirky indie train films?

      • petehammer

        Does The Darjeeling Limited have Morris Chestnut? (Since it is Wes Anderson, I know the answer).

        Look how well that movie did.

        US Gross – $11 mil.
        US2:DT US Gross – $50 mil. (In 1995 dollars!)

        My theory holds!

    • mourningnmerica

      How about that concentration camp movie where Frank Sinatra is running, reaching to grasp the hand of the guy as the train is pulling away, and he almost makes it, but the Nazi machine gunner cuts him down. What was that movie called?

      • yyyaz

        Von Ryan's Express. Not to be confused with Paul Ryan's Shitheel Express, as the Nazis in the movie were eventually stripped of power by Real Merkins.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Well, now, I was rather taken with Silver Streak. Aside from Pryor and Wilder, you get Secret Agent Man chewing the scenery as the bad guy.

    • GOPCrusher

      Emperor of the North. FTW!

      • smartalek1

        "Boxcar Bertha," fer cryin' out loud!

        I guess the [small] amount of time spent actually on a train takes "Bound for Glory" out of the running…

    • problemwithcaring

      My 12 year old self really enjoyed "Throw Mama From the Train" but I will be the first to admit, it might not have withstood the test of time.

  • Nixon_So_Fine

    Nixon shrugged.

  • nounverb911

    "And the fact that this movie touches on many of the problems we face today, and that we in the tea party movement are fighting,"
    A perfect case of "He who smelt it, dealt it"

  • [redacted]hse

    "They don't want you to see the truth"…that Michigan is making foster children buy thrift-shop clothes to pay for corporate tax cuts. Except the program doesn't save even one penny. It only serves to remove human dignity from these faultless children (a truly Christian act). Go to Hell, GOP, you've earned it.

  • PabaBritannica

    Ah yes, Hollywood wants to ignore Ayn Rand. I guess that's why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who everyone says had the rights to this at one point and love love LOVE the book, are such has-beens.

  • arihaya

    which is worse:

    Sarah Palin's speeches or this movie?

    • PabaBritannica

      When Sarah gives a 3 hour speech on absolutely nothing, she can enter the pantheon reserved for L. Ron Hubbard, Ayn Rand, and Lyndon LaRouche (yeah, I went there Rand fanboys).

    • chicken_thief

      Unfair question. Sarah is really at the top of her game on the Twitters and the Facebooks.

  • Sue4466

    Hell yea it's their fault! If they hadn't taken all the good backbreaking manual labor jobs, you wouldn't need to go to a gym in the first place!

    [And that should have been "you're" not "your" in my post. I hate when I do that!]

  • LouBristol

    "My projector, your aperture."

  • Oblios_Cap

    If the movie had only included a happy ending…

  • proudgrampa

    If the movie is about trains, why didn't they let Thomas star in it?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      My son LOVES Thomas the Tank Engine–and I'd rather watch 2 hours of Thomas movies than 10 minutes of this dreck.

    • mourningnmerica

      Yeah, especially since the movie tanked.

    • Doktor Zoom

      If I were technologically clever and had lots of time on my hands, I would TOTALLY make a Thomas the Tank Engine / Atlas Shrugged parody.

      • proudgrampa

        "Thomas Shrugged" ?

  • DaSandman

    Oh we can see the truth alright…

  • sportshort

    Change title to "When Atlas Met Sally" and toss in a hilarious scene where one character fakes an orgasm at a public place. Have a minor character react with a catchphrase that that will echo through time. Bingo! Big bux!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "You can't have what she's having, because you didn't earn it yourself and are therefore undeserving" ?

  • I’m not going to see unless they make an animated version or one with puppets.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Team Atlas: Railroad Police

      Hopefully with invisible strings AND invisible hands.

      Fuck yeah!

  • One_who_wanders

    JRR's mythology makes so much more sense.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Uhh…I hate to point out the obvious but if this was such a boffo movie idea, why couldn't they at least get a D-list actor to play in it? If the shit is too bad for Gary Busey or Nick Nolte, you know you have a straight-to-DVD movie that will never get any love at Red Box or NetFlix.

    • Yeah. Victoria Jackson as Dagny, Stephen Baldwin as Rearden, and that guy from Firefly who sometimes posts to Big Hollywood as Galt…

      • poncho_pilot

        Victoria Jackson? invisible hand stands.

    • mookwrthwilson

      He may be a little nutty, but Nick Nolte is an actual good actor.

  • chicken_thief

    Needz moar nekked bitches.

  • Redhead

    I'm actually surprised. I would have bet money that the majority of teabaggers have never READ Atlas Shrugged (even the cliff notes version) and were excited for the chance to watch the movie and be able to pretend they had read it.

    Then again, I guess that explains the views that the movie DID get.

    • mourningnmerica

      Teabaggers have never heard of Ayn Rand. You had to be a college freshman to have happened on to her work.

    • poncho_pilot

      that works with other books, too:

      "I'm actually surprised. I would have bet money that the majority of extremist Christians have never READ The Bible (even the cliff notes version) and were excited for the chance to watch the movie and be able to pretend they had read it."

      • Redhead

        I figured that's why Charlton Heston movies existed.

  • DangerHelvetica

    And the fact that this movie touches on many of the problems we face today

    Like competition among high-speed rail robber barons.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Bitch-slapped by the invisible hand, I love it.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Ah, it's the invisible hand of the free marketplace that the teabaggers are contemptuous of. Wait, what?

  • No teatard will admit that people aren't seeing the movie because it just isn't that good.

  • neiltheblaze

    On the other hand, could it possibly be worse than the book?

  • mourningnmerica

    I'm a parasite. I won't see it.

  • mourningnmerica

    If they would have named it "The Producers" I would have gone to see it.

    • Gopherit

      or "The Aristocrats"

  • Their big mistake was going for a marketing tie-in with Rand Paul instead of Rand McNally. It was all downhill and Dollar Cinema from there.

  • Their first mistake was opting for a marketing campaign featuring Rand Paul instead of Rand McNally. After that it was all [opposite of up]hill and Dollar Cinemas.

    Fucking administrator.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    The market has spoken.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Only if "everyone other than teabaggers" is a race.

  • Goonemeritus

    I’m waiting for the 3D version, and I won’t see that either.

  • Goonemeritus

    It’s probably the result of their marketing strategy they should have released it direct to hover-around control pad.

  • GregComlish

    Critics aren't directing people not to see Atlas Shrugged. That's not what critics do. All they are saying is that if people see your movie, then they should be prepared for a low-budget, shitty flick with wooden acting and a ludicrous plot.

  • If Freedom and Liberty doesn't mean being forced at gunpoint to view (and then write positive reviews about) Atlas Shrugged, then I just don't know what happened to America.

  • CapnFatback

    Rejoice Randians! According to the free market, your worldview is almost halfway as vaible as American Carol!

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    What's even better about it, is you can retcon blame! Why, a couple of years ago I was watching some show on Fox…I think Mannity when this rightwing Christian fag hag declared that gays were to blame for the fall of the Roman Empire, which to them I guess was a bad thing. So as you see, when you're a true wingnut, not only are liberals and the liberal media to blame for the fall of Capitalism or your own innate lazyness/ignorance, but you can go back in TIME and blame them, also! Try that one out at a dinner party, here I'll give you one as a freebie: it's the fault of liberals that the Holy Roman empire was defeated by Napoleon because….all that Enlightenment "talk" about "reason" and "learning" meant not enuff people cared about defending Christendom! (if anyone knows about the HRE, you'll get some satisfying eyes rolls about your ignorance as a bonus). See, you can blame liberals for anything at any point in time, what's not to love?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Oh my sweet Jeebus…I love this! I'm blaming the liberal media on everything that has gone wrong ever in my entire life!!!

  • trumpbly_joe

    I thought it was that admitting your problem is the first step of recovery, therefore I'm cured. Whoohoo! Let's celebrate, with drinks.

  • poncho_pilot

    no more fowl comments about down.

  • crybabyboehner

    The last time I checked, the Jews controlled Hollywood. So this is hardly news.

  • hagajim

    Apparently it should have been named "Asshole Shrugged"…because the only people seeing it are assholes with nothing else to do with their time.

  • SaneCatLady

    I once pulled a high-speed robber baron train.

  • All will be righted when the sequel is released: "Atlas Felched."

  • It is really clear what happened here.

    The invisible hand of the free-market pulling on one side, and the invisible hand of all the Libral Movie Reviews tugging on the other, made a giant goatse blackhole (thankfully also invisible) that this movie's profits fell into!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I'd hate to be a theater owner running this flick – I bet the audience for it is too cheap to buy popcorn, soda and candies so the theater can make ends meet on this turd heap.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Go Diary of a Wimpy Kid II! That's one for the undermenschen, biting at Atlas's ankles!

    • horsedreamer_1

      The name of the rock n' roll band in Diary of a Wimpy Kid II: Roderick Rules is Loded Diper. Meaning, the film is a must-see for all David Vitter staffers.

  • zhubajie

    Unemployed people don't have money for movies? Especially ones that call them "parasites"?

  • ChapterUndVerse

    I blame the moviegoers, who are underutilizing their right to blog and flog the experience that, according to my local Houses of Film, cost them $12 a pop. Seventy-three thousand two hundred and fifty people, more or less, are failing to exercise their right to free speech in the service of Capitalism. This may be because 4,167 of them texted through the movie, 327 wanked off thinking Dagney Taggart was really Michelle Bachmann in disguise, and 2 had actually read the book in high school and didn't recognize the movie and the book were related.

  • LauraAgain

    You liberals look at Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged", flip through the book and see it's over 1,000 pages, then put it down and head over to pick up the latest Danielle Steele schlockfest.

    You just don't get it.


Previous articleMichigan Solves Deficit By Forcing Foster Kids Into Thrift Store Clothes
Next articleChuck Norris Plagiarizes Hatred of Muslims