It was a semi-catastrophic week in the life of our FLOTUS, Michelle Obama. She just barely survived a plane crash, or something, and then some over-sized toddlers got into a fight over her on the Internet. She also received the “honor” of being named as one of the TIME 100, whatever that is … something that also includes Crazy Michele, some kid from Glee, and the Tiger Mom. On the less exciting side of things, Michelle Obama’s Earth Day event got rained out, because Mother Nature is siding with the fat kids, for some reason.
Michelle had grand plans for Earth Day. She was going to lead children in a sort of pagan Earth Day ritual sacrifice at Fort Dupont Park Activity Center and then present the surviving children with awards. But it was not meant to be, because God hates Earth Day!
Rainy weather in Washington forced the White House to cancel the event Friday afternoon.
Obama was slated to meet with local schoolchildren at Fort Dupont Park to participate in a “habitat improvement project.” The project was meant to “encourage youth to engage in outdoor community service projects and cultivate a commitment to creating a cleaner environment and a healthier planet,” according to the White House.
Of course, there’s no other explanation for this bad weather besides divine intervention, as the wise commenters at “The Conservative Treehouse” explain:
GracieD says: I would say this is proof that God has a sense of humor.
tnwahm says: God is also saying, the focus of today should be on my SON, not the sun. This is tooo funny.
Haha, oh Jesus, that old jokester. He can cross “prank Michelle Obama” off his to-do list now! [The Hill/The Conservative Treehouse]
Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.
{ 32 comments }
I like my First Ladies like I like my coffee TALL and BLACK.
I know she's tall but is she officially one of The Blacks?
Nature is just The LORD's way of saying "I don't exist, so stop seeing meaning where there isn't any."
"GracieD says: I would say this is proof that God has a sense of humor."
I thought that was a platypus… or God allowing the "Christian Right" to be the hateful, warmongering, vile people they are.
Okay God, you met your match! Don't fuck with the FLOTUS, mother f'er!
It comes as no surprise that Mother Earth would side with the fat kids. Spheres stick together.
Squares are too up-tight to stick together. Triangles are always fabulous friends. Pentagons are witchy. And you're right about spheres. But enough about trig.
It is "too funny," bro'. and also when he "pranked" St. Louis with the same weather system.
I fekkin' plotzed when I saw that one!
What the fuck that mean tnwahm? It doesn't make sense and isn't remotely amusing…total comment FAIL dude.
Yeah, but it was "tooo funny"
(Note the extra "O" for stand-outishness… that's HOW funny it was.)
His comment sounds like he plagiarized it from an old BC comic strip.
Well, I can see why she isn't the fucking Queen of England. If they cancelled every Queen appearance because of rain the old hag would never get out of Buckingham Palace. What is Michelle, some kind of baseball player pussy? Woman, buy an umbrella and use one a' them buff guns to hold it!
Jeebus didn't want the fatties to get any exercise so he can come back sooner when we are all dying from diabetes.
"GracieD says: I would say this is proof that God has a sense of humor."
Yeah, hahaha, just like when it rains on a teabagger event or when a tornado destroys a church!
Oh and that earth quake in Hati was a riot! I thought I was going to pee my pants.
Oh ha ha God. You know what would be even funnier than a rainstorm in Washington? A drought in Africa. That joke kills.
What really makes me giggle is the number of naked men with samurai swords who find that the way to rush angrily into a church. Oh wait, are we being sarcastic?
"Rainy weather in Washington forced the White House to cancel the event Friday afternoon."
"
Jesus ChristCheese & crackersGod Almightygot all muddy!"Where's Florence King when you need her?
I don't believe in your sky fairy, GracieD, but if I did, I would think that Sarah Palin was proof that god had a sense of humor. That or a sadistic streak.
Testify!
Or possibly both.
Yeah, about those 29 tornadoes ripping across the heartland last Friday–nice one, God. Hilarious! You're such a kidder.
I'd bet that the Conservative Treehouse was built with union labor, or with matching federal construction funds, and was subject to the Davis-Bacon Act. God does indeed have a sense of humor, and it skews towards irony.
Yea, and the Lord Smote the First Lady with rainy drops.
And the Lord's wrath sent her indoors for coffee and Easter eggs instead.
And Lo the Teabaggers peed their pants with happytimes.
I demand to see Jesus' resurrection certificate.
Looks like Mother Nature's son, Rocky Raccoon, decided to spend the afternoon drinking Pimms Cup with Eleanor Rigby instead of digging the dirt with our beloved FLOTUS. Get back Rocky, get back to where you once belonged.
Thank God for Ark Force One.
Obama to God: Predators headed your way. Who's laughing now?
On the same list as Michele *zombie eyes* Bachmann, is no great achievement…
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of thunderstorms, I will fear no rain: for thou go in the house and do [art] with me; thy hamburgers and thy tatertotz they comfort me.
Where's the Earth Certificate, Michelle? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING??????
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