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What's up, jowly.We sure hope Jonah Goldberg doesn’t quit in protest over this, but the Los Angeles Times just described Sarah Palin as a “special-needs case.” (Haha, Jonah Goldberg would never quit the one newspaper that would actually pay him for his dumb column. Money’s money, honey!) Anyway, this is an extremely exciting editorial in that it says something a) that everyone already believes but b) is about Sarah Palin, so Sarah Palin is somehow going to try to get David Letterman fired over it, and then call him a child molester. Anyway, please enjoy this excerpt from the column that will cause Palin’s fans to painstakingly cut out each advertisement in the Sunday paper and then try to “send it to Twitter” by stuffing it in the ‘puter’s drink holder. Never Forget!

From the April 17 Los Angeles Times that everybody’s sending us for some mysterious reason:

It’s impossible not to feel like we’re punching shamefully below our weight, which everyone knows is against the rules. Palin lacks the intellectual, analytical and rhetorical skills to have a competent discussion about policy or much else. She is handicapped not only by a lack of education, experience and curiosity about the world (wearing a Star of David in Israel doesn’t count), but by a speaking style that often collapses under the weight of disjointed, undiagrammable sentences. She is, in terms of the political arena, easily outclassed.

Good, obviously true, but we need a sound byte. Or a twitter twat. Anything we can use for that? Real simple quote, maybe nine words at the end of a sentence that’s actually criticizing something else entirely, but can be used by Palin’s semi-literate followers as “proof,” of socialism?

[T]houghtful writers treat Palin as a special-needs case.

That’ll do, pigs. [Los Angeles Times]

$
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  • Barb

    Wow, they nailed it! I am sure #trigscrew will attack quickly.

  • CalamityJames

    What?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Thanks for getting that out of our system.

      • V572..whatever

        เพราะเหตุใด

        • Angry_Marmot

          If only she'd kept her Thais closed…

    • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

      ¿Qué?

    • nonbeliever7

      A perfect ending to my martini and/or wine fueled weekend.

    • gullywompr

      I said – do you think Marcellus Wallace looks like a bitch?

    • Negropolis

      qu'est-ce que c'est?

      • tessiee

        Psycho killer?

      • poncho_pilot

        je me lance vers la gloire. ok.

  • V572..whatever

    Why is the LA Times punching Sarah Palin? She's just a girl! And a victim!

    Typical MSM liberal East Coast elitism. Just because she talks like a retard…

    • wehojoel

      Damn those Los Angeles East Coast Liberal Elites.

    • Cheetah Repeater

      Know who else talked like that?

      • Sean Penn?

        • tessiee

          Rain Man?

          • poncho_pilot

            Tom Cruise?

      • Rebecca Black?

        • horsedreamer_1

          For Sarah Palin, every day is Lie Day.

      • thedeathofirony

        Jay Leno?

      • Negropolis

        Glenn Beck?

      • SorosBot

        Skeletor?

    • LowProfileinGA

      East Coast??

      • V572..whatever

        Victim? Girl? Punching?

        • LowProfileinGA

          Easy there, whatever. I be on your side. And for decades. Also.

          • V572..whatever

            I know you "get" "it." Just couldn't resist the cheap shot.

          • HistoriCat

            If it wasn't for cheap shots Wonkette wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

        • LowProfileinGA

          Mea culpa.

  • ProgressiveInga

    So the LA Times is guilty of committing a Truth Libel?

    • Failure_Artist

      The worst sort of libel.

  • AJW@[redacted]

    I had the misfortune of hearing her screeching voice on Ed Shultz' radio show (don't you judge me!) on Friday, and it hit me that it sounded like what Adolph Hitler would've sounded like, in full stride, on helium.

    • ttommyunger

      With Goering's Dress Dagger up his ass.

    • memzilla

      I find it makes just as much sense when you substitute the sound of Mooselini's voice for the trombone voice of Charlie Brown's teacher.

    • undeterredbyreality

      The sound, perhaps, but Adolph was waaaay better at constructing sentences.

      • Angry_Marmot

        And to give the devil his due, he was capable of speaking to more than one kind of audience.

        • Negropolis

          Also, he was a filthy, elitist artist, something Sarah would have hated. Unless it has Jesus in it, it ain't art to her, I'm sure.

          • trumpbly_joe

            On the other hand, if it does have Jesus in it, something tells me it's definitely not art to her. #pisschrist #thefireinmybelly

    • WIN!

    • littlebigdaddy

      Triumph of the Shrill!

  • memzilla

    Grifting Media Whore… now with moar Special Needz® and Lucky Marshmallows!

    • Pink Hearts, Stars of David, Midnight Suns, Whore Diamonds, Purple Crosshairs and Blood Libel! Magically Disgusting!

      • Jukesgrrl

        But no rainbow bumper stickers, youbetcha!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Let's tally up the scorecard!

    LA Times: Two Pulitzer prizes recently, calls Lou Sarah a "special needs case"

    Lou Sarah: The Eliot Spitzer Award for Services to Quitting, Miss Green's [K-2 teacher, Wasilla Primary School] award for "Most Incomprehensible Tweet"

    Breitbart trolls: Screeching, calling up Anaheim pot clubs demanding they pull LA Times advertising

  • Pragmatist2

    Of course she's a Special Needs case. She has the special need to have people believe her outlandish story about Trig's birth.

    • LetUsBray

      I actually think it would speak better of her if she were making some misguided effort to cover up for her daughter than if she really did get on that plane in labor but with no visible distress – that would indicate a true psychopath. I'll let y'all guess which story I'm more inclined to believe.

      • RadioJack

        Either way she's a sociopath.

  • Like mother like son.

    • LetUsBray

      Quit pickin' on Track!

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Not since Emily Litella has our press been so courteous to such incompetence. But that was a joke.

    • memzilla

      What's all this I keep hearing about Bright Farts and Trolls?

      • Angry_Marmot

        Flea erections in China?

        • Doktor Zoom

          Soviet Jewelry?

          • DemmeFatale

            Youth in Asia?

          • nounverb911

            Nevermind!

            (Sorry ttommy)

        • jus_wonderin

          Sax and Violins on TV?

    • ttommyunger

      Well then, NEVER MIND!

    • Barb

      The "deaf" penalty?

    • chicobrisbane

      Poor Sarah, still scratching her head about the connection between death panels and youth in Asia.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Natural racehorses?

  • FannyBurney

    Do people understand that what makes Palin appealing to her fans is the very fact that she's inarticulate, incurious, and simplistic? Those qualities are what, in their eyes, make her an authentic American patriot. No true American would EVER be polished, cultivated, and articulate. Right? Right?

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Worked for GWB, sadly.

      "Oh, that Kerry, he's so wordy."

      • RadioJack

        Wouldn't you want to have a beer with him?
        Er, No.

        • nounverb911

          Who Bush or Kerry?

          • Either one really.

          • CalamityJames

            Honestly, I would love to have a beer with Bush. I think that man knows how to throw down at a party.

            With that said, as foolish as it may sound, I just don't think that's a quality I want in my President.

          • CalamityJames

            MAH FREEDUMZ IS MISSIN!!!1!

            Ok, I'll try again. I wouldn't mind having a beer with Bush, I think he could probably throw d0wn have a good time at a party.

            But this isn't necessarily a trait that I require in my President.

          • tessiee

            I don't drink beer, but I don't think I could stifle the urge to kick, punch, stab, and throttle Bush for the amount of time it would take him to pound one down, so that would probably be a No.

        • tessiee

          I don't drink beer, but I don't think I could suppress my urge to punch, kick, stab, and throttle Bush for the amount of time it would take for him to drink one, so that would probably be a No.

          • jus_wonderin

            I am with you on this. But, after you "have a beer with W" could I take your seat and "have a beer with W"?

    • memzilla

      The right wing's anti-intellectual bias goes back at least to when they were calling Adlai Stevenson an "egghead."

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        The Federalists criticised Jefferson for having too broad interests, which apparently made him unfit for the Serious Business of Presidenting.

        • LibrulEleet

          And then there was Bill Jefferson Clinton, who was interested in too many broads.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Jefferson had that personal libary thingee, too. With one of them muslin books in it. Elitist to the max!!1!

      • Cf. Andrew Jackson's campaign slogan in 1828: Adams can write, but Jackson can fight!

        Poor John Quincy. He wanted the government to implement "internal improvements" — but if the feds had the power to build canals, maybe they had the power to abolish slavery.

      • SorosBot

        Hell, it goes back at least as far as the old genocidal shithead Andrew Jackson.

    • BlueStateLibel

      And yet would these same Palin fans choose a heart surgeon for open-heart surgery based on the surgeon being as ignorant, ill-educated, and simplistic as themselves? Yeah, probably, question answered.

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        Hell, they probably expect more intelligence from the guy who fixes their pickup trucks than the people they choose as "leaders."

      • ShiftyParadigm

        Only if he has the biggest ad in the Yellow Pages

        • Jukesgrrl

          Or is cute. Don't forget the Levi Factor.

    • Of course I understand that. I'm not a … a … um … ah … un-smart person ya know.

      • Saw yer post over at Dimfart's BigGov. It was my first trip to any of his sites, and left a typical weejee tl/dr post regards all the monolithic "the left blah, blah, blah" comments. Not that we would ever broad-brush the teabaggers.

        Now have to leave work and go home and ask Mrs. weejee to please strap me to the roof of the car and run it and me through the car wash to get rid of these damn cooties.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          When you a bagger, you don't need no stinkin heart surgeon, medicare or medicine. You get on the prayer warrior chain, $9.99 special with your local christian franchise of your choice.

    • tessiee

      "Do people understand that what makes Palin appealing to her fans is the very fact that she's inarticulate, incurious, and simplistic?"

      The former Mr. Tessie once said, "Poor people don't hate rich people. They hate smart people". Of course, that was before 90% of the population was poor people, so he had a point.

  • Rotundo_

    The whole "Wouldn't you rather have a president you could have a beer with?" argument over the last few decades is kind of amusing. I don't really think most people realize what goes into making these decisions: they are not black and white absolutes, they are not always supplied with all the information you need, much less want, and they require someone who understands what the blowback could be. I want someone who "gets" nuance, who understands history and listens carefully to what the repercussions might be. They may not be exciting, I may not be happy with every decision, but I don't think the intelligent guy is going to start indiscriminately bombing everyone that irritates him that day. With Palin, there would never be a boring moment, and not too many pleasant ones either.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      I'm going with the guy who's buying.
      ..so the socialist.

    • I agree! I agree!

      When did being smart become a political liability? (A: 2000)

      Repubicans offer faith-based fiscal policies — just lower taxes.
      They think the best way to keep seniors healthy is to give them a voucher and a rabbit's foot.
      They want a limited, uterus-sized government.

      • RadioJack

        Except, of course, the precious military — a strong national defense against the Al Qaeada hordes just waiting to pounce.

        • V572..whatever

          All 30 of 'em there in Afghanistan, according to CIA Director Panetta. But what would he know?

      • SorosBot

        "When did being smart become a political liability?" 1828, if not earlier.

    • techmom

      I thought you were talking about what kind of beer to order.

    • MadBrahms

      True, but moot, as I would also never have a beer with that twatmuffin. She probably drinks Labatt's.

      • tessiee

        "She probably drinks Labatt's. "

        Wouldn't that be redundant, since she's already been lobotomized?

        • MadBrahms

          Lies. Nothing about her indicates "surgical precision".

    • zhubajie

      I always heard GWB was a nasty drunk, someone to avoid in his cups.

  • ttommyunger

    I am afraid you are correct-o.

  • mavenmaven

    The Industry Overlords have spoken, remove Palin from the national dialogue.

  • undeterredbyreality

    But why do they even need the "special needs" part-of-a-sentence-taken-out-of-context, when they already have the phrase "she is handicapped" in the paragraph you quoted. No more needs to be said!

  • ttommyunger

    Sorry, it took a while to post this. Been hurling over the porcelain for awhile. Jonah Goldberg and Sara Palin in the same article; too much sleaze for the old ma……..ooops, gotta run!

    • RadioJack

      Fuck and Fuck.

      • ttommyunger

        Really, and lame ones at that!

  • metamarcisf

    It's time we took seriously the impending presidential candidacy of Sarah Palin. I look forward to enjoying next year's debates between Palin and Goodluck Jonathan.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Yes, we need more gems like from the 2008 VP Debate:

      SP: You mentioned education and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? I say, too, with education, America needs to be putting a lot more focus on that and our schools have got to be really ramped up in terms of the funding that they are deserving. Teachers needed to be paid more.

      • Negropolis

        That is a gift that gives foever and ever, Amen. Not only can you mock the world salad, but the only thing that a mind can remember about it is that teachers need to be paid more.

        Miss Teen South Carolina doesn't have anything on the brain that is Sarah Palin's. Late-stage Alzheimer's-ridden Reagan could have come up with a better paragraph than that.

      • James Michael Curley

        If you play that on your Android Phone, google will translate it for you.

      • GOPCrusher

        Well, I guess Sarah can scratch a Scott Walker endorsement off her list.

  • undeterredbyreality

    (Great picture, by the way. And, also, why are you working on the lord's special needs day?)

    • Hate the Baby Jesus?

      • Janinthepan

        Well I'm glad you posted something. I'm here visiting my folks, and bored out of my skull.

      • Steverino247

        Hating the Baby Jesus is understood by the religious nuts, but telling them you don't need the Baby Jesus and think it's a silly story really sets them off.

      • Gopherit

        the baby jesus is okay. everything other than Trig that came out of the sarlac pit Palin calls a vagina though is fucked from the start.

      • RadioJack

        Throw out the Baby with the Birtherwater.

        • nounverb911

          Needs more broken water.

          • RadioJack

            It was a labor of transcontinental love.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    What Sarah needs is to be flung into a volcano, but since she's a republican that doesn't make her special.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      JINDAL LIBEL!!!!!111!1!!

    • memzilla

      Sorry, Soph, you should only fling virgins into a volcano to placate the gods, which eliminates any of the Palin wimmen as candidates. Downfisty McTroll alert in 5… 4… 3…

    • SorosBot

      But I thought we needed a virgin to appease the volcano gods – no, Bristol, "secondary virginity" is you deluding yourself and so does not count.

    • James Michael Curley

      I'm thinking the volcano would throw her back.

  • x111e7thst

    It is indubitable that Palin lacks the intellectual, analytical and rhetorical skills to have a competent discussion about policy or much else. Whether or not she is riddled with hookworm remains an open question.

    • Negropolis

      It'd be irresponsible not to speculate on that, of course.

      • tessiee

        I'd like to see some sort of,
        oh, I don't know,
        CERTIFICATE,
        proving that she's not, in fact, riddled with hookworm.

        • Jukesgrrl

          A very LONG certificate, of course.

        • Negropolis

          Yes, yes. I demand to see this woman's vet records. We need to make sure she's up on her shots. There is little worse than a momma grizzly with rabies.

    • zhubajie

      Loa-loa worms in her brains, too.

  • Donald Trumpette makes Sarah Palin™ look like an elder statesman.

    • nounverb911

      Good, then its time to set her out to sea on an ice floe.

      • tessiee

        Yeah, while there are still any ice floes left.

  • lefty74

    She has severe attention defecit disorder.
    If she's not getting the attention, she stirs the shit with a canoe paddle.

    • Gopherit

      i think it is intellectual defecation disorder…..her brain is shit.

    • ThundercatHo

      I heard a great quote recently. "The more you stir shit, the worse it stinks."

  • arihaya

    Sarah Palin is a waste of Medicaid money and she will be a waste of Medicare money,..

    special-need welfare-queen more like it…

  • DashboardBuddha

    Oh dear…someone will surely release the Hounds of Boycott against the LAT now.

    • Barb

      It was HILARIOUS on Twitter last night. Palin's followers were claiming that they took to the malls and pumped money into each advertiser who withdrew their ads.
      "I went to Jos. A Banks and got 5 suits for my husband"
      "I ordered 9 pizzas from Papa John's tonight"
      Yeah, enjoy the pizza and the ice cold diarrhea you are about to suffer! Ask to be buried in one of your new suits!

      • DashboardBuddha

        I never, not once, saw an ad for either of those here. WTF? It's like saying, "ok, we're going to take away your BMW".

        Fine…I don't fucking have one.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          I was kind of confused too because I'd never seen a PapaJohns or Huggies ad on the Wonkette. This is from Ken Layne via the last story with 500+ comments (you're welcome!).

          "There's a little magic secret here that NONE of these people — especially the so-called media reporters at advertising trade journals — have managed to figure out.

          The remnant ad networks all use a little cookie these days that follows you around from site to site. So whatever you clicked earlier, or searched for on Google, will be the ad that keeps showing up, even as you go to Wonkette.

          It should be no surprise that the Palin idiots were seeing pizza-chain and Depends ads or whatever, and none of you saw them. For my part, I usually only saw Vanguard ads in those remnant spots, because I'm an elitist and read the business news sites."

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            That is simply beautiful. These douchebags are attacking advertisers because they've been browsing "Angry Ignorant Old People Daily" or "Weightloss: the Hoverround diet!" or whatever and got preferentially served these ads by the ad network.

            Amazing.

          • UW8316154

            Thank you for the explanation, I too was wondering about the so-called advertisers I have never seen on this site.

            Pizza? Diapers? Who do they think we are, anyway??

      • SorosBot

        I'd say they're hurting themselves by ordering such horrible pizza, but then they probably wouldn't know a decent one if bit them on the ass; hell, they probably think fine dining means Red Lobster or Ruby Tuesday's.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Applebee's (my parents). Perkins with booze.

        • bflrtsplk

          Burger King two-for-one Whopper Night.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Screw that. I'm going upscale. Red Robin… Red Robin!

      • tessiee

        "I ordered 9 pizzas from Papa John's tonight"

        And that's different from their regular dinner… how?

    • Guppy06

      Because of all the Palin fans in Los Angeles? It's the LA Times, not the OC Times.

  • Trannysurprise

    Every time I see that pic of her with the Star of David on I think she looks more pregnant now than she ever did when she was "carrying" Trig.

    • Gopherit

      what would her followers say if she had another downs syndrome baby? Would they congratulate this woman who knew the risks from her previous birth for bringing another life into the world that will be short, merciless, and painful? Or does she just need a new cute one for the presidential run?

      • tessiee

        Sooner or later, Trayfe will outgrow the cute stage, so she'd better have Pinhead or No-nose cued up as a prop for her next bid for attention.

    • RadioJack

      Well, except for the ones with the pregnancy suit they released to quell the "rumor."

  • She's put on weight. Is Bristol pregnant again?

    • Gopherit

      my money would be on willow. bristol makes her living on abstinence, so she has to have every birth control known to man…..except closing her legs.

      • Dunno if Bristol manages to poop out another kid she can charge twice as much for her inane lectures.

  • Wonkette needs to keep with the postin' to make sure Uncle John's Ken's Band gets heard.

    ♪♫ God damn, well I declare, have you seen the like?
    Their walls are built of cannon balls
    Their motto is "don't tread on me" ♫♪

  • Barb

    V, what kind of wine goes with Peeps?

    • Since the weekend, for some, seems to be focused on the Dead, how 'bout Ripple?

      • gullywompr

        Never understood Robert Hunter's recipe – diluting Ripple in still water seems antithetical to the Dead's essence.

    • Gopherit

      one you can microwave

    • RadioJack

      Hendrick's is a fine white with infusion of rose, coriander, juniper and cucumber.
      It goes with all gourmet cuisine, including Peeps and the Body of Christ.

      • Just don't make the mistake of adding it to a martini with olives. Ugh. I should've stuck with either a boring gin or a twist of lemon in my Hendricks martini.

        It's been an alcohol-fueled weekend here, including bourbon, garlic and rosemary potatoes with breakfast this morning.

        • RadioJack

          Hey nato, you hit 3-digit fisting. All the while boozy and under threat of having Wonkette itself becoming extinct.
          A toast with the last of the martini's.

          • Yeah, maybe this time I won't defend Jack from the ravenous whores hordes from BigAhole and lose my precious p again. Although now it might be fun to see how quickly I could hit -100p. And I think I need to give my liver the week off.

    • memzilla

      Boone's Farm, the wine which comes closest to actual grapes when its railroad tank cars travel through Napa Valley.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      All of them, Katie.

    • V572..whatever

      Throw that poisonous candy away, and drink some Fess Parker Syrah…I'm having a '99 right now and it's awesome.

      • Barb

        Fess Parker? Is that Daniel Boone's Farm?

    • Guppy06

      Anything out of a plastic gallon jug.

    • SorosBot

      Since Peeps are for Easter, any red that's been magically turned into human blood by a child molester under a vow of celibacy.

    • hellbabe

      milk of amnesia?

    • tessiee

      "what kind of wine goes with Peeps?"

      A nice light chardonnay for the yellow Peeps, a rose' for the pink ones.

    • LowProfileinGA

      You have been in rare form of late.

  • EdFlintstone

    With regards to Esther Palin and this whole shit storm , I'll paraphrase Sheriff Bart….cant you see it's the last act of a desperate woman?

  • Steverino247

    Hmmm. "Special needs." Where have I read about that this weekend?

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Cosmo?

  • From the article:

    FOR THE RECORD:
    Politics: In Meghan Daum's April 17 column on Sarah Palin, Palin was misspelled as Pain in one reference. —

    Palin = Pain. The LA Times gets it right even when they get it wrong when going after snowbilly.

  • DemmeFatale

    Wonketteers needed a palate cleanser, and this is just the thing!
    Thanks, Ken!

    • RadioJack

      Owl drink to that.

  • Limeylizzie

    Thank Baby Jesus that Ken has posted, I was worried that there would be no more Wonkette. Oh and fuck that dumb cunt.

    • LetUsBray

      Wonkette especially can't go away before I've reached my triple-digit p-gasm!

      • Limeylizzie

        I will upfist you like a motherfucker everytime I see your avatar, mon ami.

        • Angry_Marmot

          Coming from you, that's kinda hot.

          • Limeylizzie

            I will upfist you any chance I get, Marmot.

      • Limeylizzie

        I tried but the troll downfisted me for saying that I would upfist you!

      • Me too. I've been at 99 for weeks. And I pledge that once I reach 100 I will never crave pee again.

        Here's an up fist for you.

        • You did it!

          • Horray! Thank you Wonketeers.

            I will now be pee need free!

            [Edit: Nooooo! How could I go back down again without any downfists? Intense Debate, you are a fickle mistress!

    • RadioJack

      I swear, that would be worse than losing a loved one.

      • Limeylizzie

        I would be so lonely, MrLimelizzie is in LA such a lot and if the Wonkette died I would be heartsick…sobs uncontrollably.

      • Limeylizzie

        Downfisting troll is about.

      • Limeylizzie

        I keep getting deleted for commenting on the Troll, I am confused.

        • LetUsBray

          These days, 'up' is good; its antonym, not so much.

          • Limeylizzie

            OK, well the super cunty troll with the active and depressing fist is around.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Also, the numeral "0" and the lower-case "o" are nearly identical in this font, so feel free to write "d0wn" if you need to.

          • Guppy06

            I, for one, welcome our new auto-censoring overlords!

            Seriously, troll is troll, and devoting so much of the commentariat's attention to it is too much "war" and not enough "blogging," in my opinion.

            In other words, there's not enough in that subject for me to slap a "Me too!" on and get my p-whore going with. Daddy's self-esteem ain't going to improve itself you know! And I sure as hell can't afford prescription meds!

        • RadioJack

          I pretty sure you can't say the opposite of "up" or "upfister." Fistula and Mongoloid gets through though.

        • Cicada

          Just my opinion: commenting on the anonymous lurkers gives them what they want. That's basically their whole raison d'être. Trashing the ones who come here is different, because it provides entertainment for the Wonketteer masses.

          That probably has nothing to do with your comment being deleted, though. You might have used one of the forbidden words.

        • You have to go l33t and use a zero in the word d0wn to get around Ken's new torture filter.

  • Gopherit

    I say it every time: Trig is the nicest, least cynical and grifty, and, I think ultimately, the most useful of the Palins. Genuinely seems like a sweet kid. The rest are selfish, proselytizing savages out only for money.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I don't think Piper's ever done anything to make me think she's not a good kid, either.

      • 4tehlulz_lite

        It's only a matter of time before she calls someone a faggot too. Also.

        • Piper's totally neglected. That's why she calls her mom "Sarah" to get her attention and has to resort to calling local morning radio talk show hosts to feel loved.

          • SorosBot

            But Sarah did take her to that Flyers game – to use her as a human shield. Poor kid.

          • she also seems to be in charge of babysitting duty, poor little serf.

          • I know good parenting when I see it! (this coming from a woman who was almost named 'Kate' after Kate Smith–true story.)
            GO FLYERS!!!

      • Gopherit

        problem is, in that family, you seem to be kind of doomed. every kid is good, but not every kid goes on a meth binge before they are 13……except in wasilla. Well, and places in AZ, Cali and the southeast.

  • hooray4anything

    So let me get this straight– main point of article is that it was blatantly obvious to everyone that the Empress had no clothes but because for fear of drawing the wrath of her fanatical fans, never had the guts to tell anyone she had no clothes lest be accused of being some sort of clothes elitist. But now that her poll numbers are dropping, well, hey, "we knew she had no clothes the whole time!"

    • glamourdammerung

      Which is even more odd when McCain has no followers, rabid or otherwise, yet the "liberal media" still carries the water for him.

      • SorosBot

        That's not quite true; it's just that McCain's rabid followers all either write op-ed columns or host Sunday talk shows.

    • fuflans

      god. yes.

  • Gopherit

    hey spanky! You know that two account violates intensedebate's TOS, right? All ken has to do is to look at your IP for this and previous posts, and you will never be able to post on any intense debate site….including breitards……so, haha and fuck you.

    • DownFist Troll

      I'm detecting a high degree of win in your post, Gopherit. Single account upfist for thee.

    • 1in7000000000

      Wait, what? I'm new in town?

      • Gopherit

        bullshit. you have been visited by one of our resident trolls and this is not your first post here. you were testing.

        • 1in7000000000

          Indeed, t's not my first post. I've made one other. I'm confused about what you imply, exactly? Primum non nocere.

          • Gopherit

            like i said…..if i am wrong, i will apologize. interesting that you were visited by spanky with one…..one post ever on intense debate. also first and only visit. your comments both were, well, not quite par here.

          • 1in7000000000

            It's been long time since I've been hazed, thanks. I'm sure I'll check out just fine.

          • Gopherit

            huh. and yet you and spanky just both visited my account in the last 20 min. how odd. like i said, it's not my blog.

          • 1in7000000000

            OK. I'm taking my ball and going home.

          • Gopherit

            -7 Vote up Vote down deleted9839094 84p · 4 weeks ago
            Tonight, I'm doing a little Pavlovian experiment. Details later. You are correct–loons. Report Reply
            -13 Vote up Vote down TastyLeadPaintChips™ -79p · 2 weeks ago
            How did your experiment go? Report Reply
            -8 Vote up Vote down
            Hillbilly Heroine 128p · 2 weeks ago
            Poorly. I think they smelled my scent. Mainly just wanted to do a little quanitative analysis of various types of stimulus–pretty simple. I think

            strange. same time that you first commented here. i guess i won't have to ask again, though.

      • Gopherit

        hey, if your ip doesn't match other known trolls you are fine. strange, though. you posted once 4 weeks ago at the same time that spanky and another troll were talking about experimenting here…..

      • Gopherit

        also tx for deleting your previous post. that doesn't look weird at all.

        only two posts in all of your history? Both on wonkette? 4 weeks apart? Um, i will apologize if i am wrong, but i am not.

        • 1in7000000000

          I love to read here, but don't always find my wit to be as quick as others here. I don't want to go around 'polluting the atmosphere' :)

          Certainly do understand going on the defensive, given the crap clouds forming overhead, though.

          • Gopherit

            If ken wants to check, he can. if your comments seem up to it people will like you well enough. hell, it's no literary club here.

            But still. o_0

          • Refudiation

            Massive fail in the wit department.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Welcome. You'll find the bars you're looking for down by the docks.

    • Imho, I don't think this is spanky2b… cohort? perhaps but I doubt it*.

      *Disclaimer: Most of my hunches tend to be incorrect.

      • comptoneffect

        *Disclaimer: Most of my hunches tend to be incorrect.

        Sounds to me that you are more than qualified to write on the WaPo editorial page.

      • Gopherit

        i think you are right. spanky talked to a guy about a pavlovian experiment from 4 weeks ago, that guy has an account called Hillbilly Heroine…..like i said, i'd only check because these assholes deserve it if they are violating TOS.

        see my comment above…..if i could check IPs, i would. also no reason to delete the first comment. wish i could remember it. bet it is on breitbart, too.

        • glamourdammerung

          You know spanky or whatever they are going by this hour would just cry about how they got banned for "no reason" instead of violating terms of service.

          Conservative personal responsibility being what it is.

          • Gopherit

            http://bigpeace.com/tgmccotter/2011/03/23/seize-f

            the poster seems to be "Hillbilly Heroine", our old friend Kevin Stowell. Please let them have the same ip. he would swallow his gun.

          • Gopherit

            also….banned by wonkette? Whine on breitbart. Banned by tos on intensedebate? whining into the wind.

          • glamourdammerung

            Yeah, but you know they would still be crying, even if only to themselves with their lips quivering in impotent rage. And it would all be the fault of "the left" of course, and not the fact they are completely morally and intellectually bankrupt.

    • SorosBot

      Huh, I didn't know that; then it's interesting that our downfister admits he's a sockpuppet in his very first post:
      http://tv.breitbart.com/reid-on-obamacare-repeal-

      "I just had to create another new account, the last two were blocked – without explanation."

      • Refudiation

        I followed the link … and I don't think there's enough xanax in the world to fix what's happened to me.

  • Beetagger

    Palin is as lightweight as a fart and lingers way longer.

  • nounverb911

    When do the Notsobritebart's storm the LA Times?

  • SaintRond

    That cunt.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • horsedreamer_1

      Is this a reference to Rich Lowery's "sparkin'" response to Palin's debate win [sic] in her match-up with Biden?

  • gullywompr

    LA times better watch out – Sarah's gonna clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. Also too, only the left diagrams her sentences, so Team Sarah is exactly the same today as it was the day before LA Times revealed the truth in this breaking story.

    • Guppy06

      I do believe that the diagram would be impossible without a four-dimensional construct.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Well…there is some happy Easter news it seems. One of my personal heroes seems to be well on the mend.
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110424/pl_nm/us_giff

    • SorosBot

      Yay!

      And sad: "Kelly said his wife learned that people had died and others were wounded when he was reading her a New York Times story about the shooting one day in March and, noticing he had skipped a paragraph, she grabbed the newspaper from his hand.

      Giffords cried and said, "So many people, so many people," according to the Arizona Republic."

    • SorosBot

      (Let's try again; seem to be having vanishing comments problems again)

      Yay! And sad:

      "Kelly said his wife learned that people had died and others were wounded when he was reading her a New York Times story about the shooting one day in March and, noticing he had skipped a paragraph, she grabbed the newspaper from his hand.

      Giffords cried and said, "So many people, so many people," according to the Arizona Republic."

  • nonbeliever7

    Hmm… not one but two cynical references to the re*******ed adult Palin? Sounds like the LA Times has a few closeted Wonketeers. A big huzzah to them.

  • Limeylizzie

    The down-fister is very active.

  • Limeylizzie

    Can I not say downfister?

  • rocktonsam

    keen eye for the obvious LA TIMES

  • BarackMyWorld

    [T]houghtful writers treat Palin as a special-needs case.

    or

    Even Traister, an unabashed liberal and feminist who writes for the left-leaning online magazine Salon, is evidence of the way thoughtful writers treat Palin as a special-needs case.

    Isn't it funny how context can completely change the meaning of something?

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Wow, the LA Times gets it right–two years too late.

  • Steverino247

    Important safety tip for the media: If, while covering an election, you discover that a candidate is a complete idiot, FUCKING TELL US so we can benefit from your discovery. I'm glad Ms. Couric was polite to Mrs. Palin, but the fact that she was the most unqualified political candidate in recent history was the most important story of 2008. No more of this "Well, we all knew that at the time" bullshit, OK?

    • gullywompr

      With all due respect, Sarah told us herself in 2008 in that same interview.

      • Gopherit

        "All of them, Katie." That was all i needed to hear.

        • RadioJack

          I thought at the timethis would be her undoing. I was wrong.
          (BTW, who knows that church where she had the wasilla witch exorcism burnt to the ground under mysterious circumstances?)
          I thought when she quit — she fucking QUIT, that would be her undoing, I was wrong.
          Now I think there is nothing that will take this bitch down. I hope I'm wrong.

    • glamourdammerung

      I'm glad Ms. Couric was polite to Mrs. Palin, but the fact that she was the most unqualified political candidate in recent history was the most important story of 2008.

      I am not sure that is a fair statement. After all, John McCain was in that election too.

      • Guppy06

        You kidding? McCain would be perfect for enforcing a Libyan no-fly zone! He knows exactly what it takes to get an airplane out of the sky!

        • If the Libyan's only had an aircraft carrier, J Mac would light it up.

    • MadBrahms

      Alternative: Don't tell us, and don't dignify their inanity with coverage.

      • tessiee

        I suppose they could call them on their bullshit, or aren't journalists supposed to do that any more?

    • Steverino247

      Sarah is the example here, but you know they've known about others and not said anything until way after the fact. If ever.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    in before 500 comments

  • El Pinche

    Uh oh, LA Times sponsors are Golden Corral, KFC, Depends, Crisco , and Menocu Buttplugs. Boycotting is going to be a difficult choice for the Palinturds.

    • Nooooooooooooo!

    • CapnFatback

      Menocu Buttplugs

      "So you see, anal fetishists are like regulars now."

    • tessiee

      "LA Times sponsors are Golden Corral, KFC, Depends, Crisco , and Menocu Buttplugs"

      Do the Crisco, buttplugs, and Depends come packaged together?

      • El Pinche

        In line at the supermarket , I try to be discreet .
        I try to split up the spatula, KY, cantaloupe, and whip cream and hope the cashier doesn't figure it out.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Will she disappear? Her rabid unencumbered-by-thought followers will keep her broom in the air until the straw polls and primaries begin and then she'll dissolve like the Wicked Witch hit by water. The LA Times finally recognized that there was nothing under the pointed hat–welcome to reality.

    • glamourdammerung

      It is always hard to kill what you create.

  • Negropolis

    If Sarah Palin ran a presidential campaign, and no one was around to hear it, would it still make a sound?

    • mavenmaven

      yes, a fart sound. Even if you couldn't hear it, you'd know something nasty was in the air.

      • undeterredbyreality

        Yes, the sound of fingernails on a green chalkboard. It would still cause ears to bleed even outside of its audible range.

      • Barb

        Palin doesn't fart. The bitch never stops whining and talking long enough to build up that kind of pressure.

    • Barb

      A loud thud, followed by a sound that sounds like Mariah Carey, caught in a bear trap. Ugh, that voice of Palin's. My back was to the TV the first time I heard her speak. I spun around and asked, "what in the living hell is that?"

    • I think it would take a shit in the woods.

    • tessiee

      If Sarah Palin ran a presidential campaign, and no one was around to hear it, would she still be an annoying, dim-witted attention whore?

      fxd

  • wilson201

    Whenever Sarah is questioned, it is time to use the #TrigShield. Or any other Palin offspring that might be available.

  • This is somehow Andrew Sullivan's fault.

    • tessiee

      Thanks for the info; I was going to blame Thomas Kincaid.

  • iburl

    Sarah is a special person, but her lickspittles are extra special people.

    • Negropolis

      A whore-diamond for using the obscure "lickspittle".

  • Sassomatic

    Needs a special boot in the face is what she needs. Gah.

    • tribbzthesquidz

      S&M sexytime style.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Look at her face there, according to stellar journalism, she is definitely pregnant again.

    Maybe there is an apologetic reporter out there that will ask her to submit to a TSA screening to prove her special needs fetus is inside her this time?

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Never meant to be taken as a factual statement.

  • DahBoner

    Special special, what do you get?

    Another day older and deeper in debt…

  • chascates

    Aimee Semple McPherson + Father Coughlin – their dubious intellects = Sarah Palin.

    A Perfect Storm of media failure, fear of a black man, and populist catchphrases brought Caribou Barbie to the great unwashed. She'll always be popular on the revival show and militia circuit but her time may be fading. When several publications have called Michele Bachmann Sarah Palin with brains you know we've hit a watershed moment.

    Sarah Lou, we barely knew ye. And what we knew we damn sure didn't care for.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Endangered feces?

  • horsedreamer_1

    It seems Steuf's misdirected birthday post, while inducing an initial fusillade of Falangist bile & boycott, has unmoored the respectable/"respectable" media from its obeisance to the Palinista insurgency. Imagine the LA Times writing this two weeks ago, or the NY Times dismissing the half-termer as old news. Wouldn't have happened. Now, they're saying what they know to be true, not what others would like to be true. They are no longer afraid to kick reality.

    Does this make Jack as gangsta as MC Ren?

    • CliveWarren

      Jack is the villain and you're just a hostage, so whenever he's steppin' cover your head like an ostrich.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I have a feeling, though, that Bristol is prolly prone to biting it.

    • DangerHelvetica

      Jack is the hero Gotham deserves.

  • tribbzthesquidz

    I have seen the fnords!

  • Barb

    I just read that Bristol will attend the White House Correspondents' dinner. I hope that she doesn't spill wine on any of the guests she serves.

    • tribbzthesquidz

      I think she's in the house band. On organ.

      • Barb

        Perfection! Thanks!

    • Maybe she'll go as Breitfart's plus one. Hope she brings cab fare.

    • RadioJack

      That little bitch, like her mother, has never worked an honest day in her life. Not counting face d0wn, ass up.

    • Negropolis

      I just read that Bristol will attend the White House Correspondents' dinner.

      How can that be? I hadn't heard that they were installing a pole on the stage. My, things are a-changin'.

      • tribbzthesquidz

        Actually, I heard it's more of a ping-pong balls show.

        • It's called The Aristocrats.

          • tribbzthesquidz

            The Regal Kegels.

  • HempDogbane

    If only Sarah had been hoist by her own petard, instead of hoisting her….

  • Extemporanus

    The Los Angeles Times is goin' Down!

    • RadioJack

      WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot, Extem, did you catch the robo-moderator asleep?
      You said the word related to mongoloid.
      I was just going to say something about making sure everybody saves their comments before hitting submit. Especially the long form ones.
      y tambiên, the new avi is awesome!

      • Goin' d0wn d0wn d0wn on yer burnin' ring of fire! Okay, that sounds wrong.

        • Extemporanus

          My burning ring of fire is the result of indiscriminate fisting.

      • Extemporanus

        When it comes to catching robo-moderators asleep, candy-coded compu-chloroform is a helluva drug.

        (The new Gravatard picture was taken immediately upon my realization that I had actually gotten away with it.)

  • archikvetch

    That paragraph is just a dandy Mad-Lib that will work for any of those Babbit-esque Republican skid marks that are "thinking" about throwing their hat (or hair rug) into the ring. As 2012 approaches, the paragraph will reappear many times. If it doesn't – well the fix was in long before this…(sad clown face with small upside down American flags carefully painted on the cheeks).

  • tessiee

    "Palin lacks the intellectual, analytical and rhetorical skills to have a competent discussion about policy or much else."

    True, but in the absence of those, she has the ability to turn anything at all into a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, child-abusing personal attack on her, and an army of rabid fans ready to bay for the blood of whoever it is that incurs her disfavor of the moment.

  • BZ1

    Is there a Palin dictiuonamery? Decipher this: "wondering who the heck is going to be out there with a servant's heart willing to serve the American people."

  • fuflans

    yeah thanks for that. spend a lot of time around these lovely folks.

    cheers on easter!

  • fuflans

    so basically everything everybody on wonkette has been saying for – i don't know let's go with – three years is true fact and yeah no shit sherlock and now what?

    and now we have the snowbilly's fans and baggers and this FABULOUS congress?

    now what?

    somebody's got some fucking splaining to do.

  • carlgt1

    uh, we are all the LA Times now?

  • zhubajie

    Basically, she's Bush in a dress.

  • jus_wonderin

    "Palin’s fans to painstakingly cut out each advertisement in the Sunday paper and then try to “send it to Twitter” by stuffing it in the ‘puter’s drink holder. Never Forget!"

    OMG! ROTFFL!!

  • WinterOuthouse

    Trig will be Twittering Sarah's defense shortly. Trig demonstrates the hold on reality that fails the other Palins.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Yeah, that's Pullitzer-level stuff there LAT! I suppose it will come out eventually that Kanye West is an annoying egomaniac.

  • An_Outhouse

    $arah is a r-e-t-a-r-d?

  • An_Outhouse

    re-tard? (just testing the filter)

  • thefrontpage

    Sarah Palin is, of course, extremely intellectual and is one of the great intellectual minds of our time.

  • thefrontpage

    Interestingly, two recent sponsors of Sarah Palin's web site and business ventures are Papa John's and Depends.

  • roboturkey

    Palin Agonistes. She is a national passion play that will run in a hideous loop until she is too old to use that hair style and decides on her own to just vanish

  • Negropolis

    Well, save for that whole offing himself in his bunker, the fucking coward.

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