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A face only a Koch could love.We’ve been too busy celebrating Pagan Earth Day with a bunch of wiccans and gay wizards, at Hogwarts, to notice the new consensus about nervous GOP weirdo Paul Ryan: He apparently finished off the entire “tea party movement” the Koch Brothers created by simply admitting what the Corporate Far-Right has been trying to do for half a century: Destroy Medicare, destroy Social Security, and leave 80% of the country (including the deluded working-class “GOP base”) to fuck off and die in old age, as soon as they’re no longer able to stand up at the Wal-Mart cash register. Congratulations, Paul Ryan! Also, congratulations to Stephen Goldstein at the Sun Sentinel for writing perhaps the most vicious description of GOP heartthrob Paul Ryan we’ve ever seen.

You really want to enjoy this whole column, but here’s the metaphysical kick in the crotch:

Whiz kid wannabe, Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., will be the unwitting savior of the Democratic Party and cause of his party’s humiliating defeat. He issued his penny-pinching “Path to Prosperity” before the president spoke about our debt and deficit. For the unveiling, image consultants gave the Wisconsonite a new hairdo to soften his usual menacing part and ghoulish gaze, but they couldn’t change the mean-spirited, elitist strategy to which he committed Republicans: Adiós — Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid; Hola — tax cuts for the drowning-in-money.

No matter how much the demagogues pound away via their megacorporations’ megaphones, working people will show up at the polls in 2012 and they will wash out the anti-American extremists who were all hand-picked and financed by the Koch Brothers to destroy everyone who depends on a paycheck in this country. Everyone. That is the “philosophy” of Ayn Rand and those are the marching orders for this crop of Republicans in office today.

For average Americans, Ryan’s “Path” is a road to ruin. The Ryan Republican tea party would make a 65-year-old eligible for Medicare in 10 years pay nearly $6,400 more than people pay today — and force them into the private insurance market, where they probably won’t be able to afford, or even get, coverage. It swells the deficit by trillions and doesn’t achieve a balanced budget for decades. Through his calculated miscalculation and stubborn refusal to recognize that we have a spending and revenue imbalance, Ryan gave Democrats a gift that will keep on giving.

The American system, where “private property” and the unmitigated wealth of corporations has always reigned supreme over such faith-based falsehoods as “We the People,” survived the revolutionary turmoil of the 20th Century only by redistributing just enough wealth to maintain a buffer zone of relative comfort between the billionaires and the seething lower class. The absence of that minimal redistribution becomes most apparent when old people are tossed aside to die in sickness and poverty after working away their lives away. And even a loyal Rush Limbaugh listener is eventually able to comprehend the difference between having Medicare and Social Security and not having a monthly check to survive and a way to see the doctor, because it’s the difference between life and death.

Anyway, that’s the happy view. The alternate view is that the teabaggers would literally shoot themselves in the face with those guns they love so much if they thought it might also hurt the coloreds. [Sun Sentinel]

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  • memzilla

    I say we pass a bill to keep Paul Ryan in a lifetime supply of lightly-salted poison rat dicks. In fact, Raticare / Raticaid for the whole GOP!

  • Buzz Feedback

    Now that we've fixed Paul Ryan's hair, can somebody do something about Tim Kaine's cut? It's very Slobodan Milosevic.

    • predilectrix

      Not fixed enough, with that Eddy Munster widow's peak.

    • Negropolis

      Obscure dictator reference FTW.

    • PuglyDoRight

      I was thinking more Jimmy Hoffa

  • nounverb911

    The Galt is strong in this one.

    • Hopefully, the budget he has written will lead to Asshats Stuffed in 2012.

      • The Watershed ? in a good way? nah, nevermind.

        • Negropolis

          How about The Woodshed, as in Democrats took Republicans to the woodshed in 2012?

    • Warpde

      Yes. But he is of weak mind.

    • carlgt1

      the gall, too!

  • user-of-owls

    I have a cousin named Paul Ryan. He's utterly demented and scary too.

    • Mmmm. Too much bad PR?

    • Swampgas_Man

      Are these Ryans related to Andrew Ryan from Bioshock?

    • RadioJack

      Hey, a bag of lightly salted poison herpetic rat dicks for your cousin too.

      • user-of-owls

        If cousin Paul ate poison herpetic rat dicks that came from fucking Fukushima it would actually be an improvement to what he normally ingests.

        Oh, by the way, since childhood he's been known as Beaver (for braces, not wholesomeness). I always thought that was pretty fucking dada.

    • gvvt

      Yeah, but is he from Wisconsin?

  • pinkocommi

    In a last ditch effort to salvage the 2012 elections, we will suddenly hear the Republitard leadership talk non-stop about nothing but banning abortion, gay marriage and terrorists in 3… 2… 1…

  • LetUsBray

    I'm afraid I'm not sure I share Goldstein's optimism about the 2012 election: He's not taking into account the Democrats' capacity, their seeming desire, to fuck everything up by letting the Ben Nelsons and the Joe Fucking Liebermans call the tunes.

    • memzilla

      I am willing to see Raticare / Raticaid offered to select (nominal) Democrats.

    • proudgrampa

      Dems do have a tremendous capacity for fucking things up, so I agree that the 2012 elections are hardly a shoo-in.

    • Hope springs eternal (at least mine does) although the Dems continue to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

      • tessiee

        "the Dems continue to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory."

        Get out of my mind!

    • Sue4466

      I'm getting almost cynical enough to think the Dems fuck up on purpose. They don't have to win to get the campaign money and they don't have to be in power to help the rich & corporate elite keep theirs. They just have to make a good showing that they're fighting "for the little guy," before they fuck up or cave in.

      Guess I'm saying it's all theater and they're all on the same side, which is not the side of the working or the poors.

      • LetUsBray

        Yep; in a lot of ways it's easier for them when they lose. But as you say, that's a darn cynical way to look at things.

      • greenloner

        I bellieve that's true of more than one of them, but not most. However, Birch Bayh's son, Evan, is a WEASEL.

    • I'm not optimistic either. Prediction: The right will do things so despicable — yet amazingly successful — that we will be stunned and shocked (even given this prediction).

    • Agreed. Whatever potential clusterfuck for the Kochsuckaz in 2012 will be *despite* the Dem campaign and Obama, not because of 'em.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Hey, let's give Butch Patrick a chance to present his budget ideas to America since his doppelgänger Paul Ryan blew it.

    • Arken

      And he's gotta be out of rehab by now. He probably needs the work.

    • tessiee

      It could only be an improvement.

    • mrbubb

      Butch Patrick for the MFW!

  • __kth__

    fuck Paul Ryan, but: this ain't over as long as people in this country expect to get things for less than they cost; i.e., forever as far as I can see.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Maybe those things cost too much.

  • predilectrix

    I dyslexically read it as royal lush Limbaugh, which shows how the brain auto-corrects.

  • Pithaughn

    Poll, guillotines should be designed to humanely sever the head first time, ending the life of the billionaire / republican meat puppet painlessly or not? You decide.

    • nounverb911

      I vote for dull, rusty blades.

      • I vote for rusty #8 rebar, 1-inch in diameter. If driven by enough weight they'll do the job but with more smoosh and less slice. But hey, billionaire / republican meat puppets are heavy to golfers so they'll appreciate less slice.

    • memzilla

      I vote for no lubrication on the blade rails. And subsidized knitting needles.

    • One blade for every 1000 heads. No sharpening allowed. These fucks will be fighting each other to be first in line while the blade is still sharp.

      • Negropolis

        I like how you think, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • tessiee

        "These fucks will be fighting each other to be first in line while the blade is still sharp."

        Thereby saving us at least some effort.

    • Rotundo_

      The severing doesn't actually stop the living part immediately. Adding a pair of two foot square blocks of steel to pop the cranium like a grape along with the severing would make it less cruel, albeit a bit more unusual. But you really would not feel a thing.

      • gvvt

        Is that me, the observer, who wouldn't feel a thing? But that would be true if the head were sawn off with a bit of rusty, frayed picture wire. If it's you, the billionaire, where's the fun in that?

    • LetUsBray

      What need is there for guillotines? These people have worked tirelessly for decades to make sure everyone has a fucking arsenal in their basement. Firing squads are both much more fitting and much more Amurkin.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Agree. If the guillotine was good enough for the frogs it is good enough for these warty toads.

    • AJW@[redacted]

      8-lb sledge. Good enough for Idi Amin, good enough for me.

  • user-of-owls

    What, Zvi Bleinmeis is chopped liver now?

    • I deleted my initial comment after forgetting the lovely and talented Zvi, the hem of whose garment I am not worthy to touch.

      Viva Zvi!

      • RadioJack

        You know who else had a retraction of an internet post?

        • This comment has been deleted by the Christ-killing user.

      • user-of-owls

        Zviva!

      • My ears are burning. What did I miss? And who smeared chopped liver on the hem of my garment already?

  • BarackMyWorld

    It's a lobotomy, stupid!

  • nounverb911

    "Exactly 150 years after our first Civil War, we are fighting another one for the republic's heart and soul and wallet. "
    Stephen Goldstein you said a mouthful.

  • BarackMyWorld

    O.J. Simpson…STILL not a Jew.

  • The Democrats should look at Ryan's proposals as a real gift–there is so much wrong with it and there are so many perfectly insane policies to run against. Ryan should be made into a pinata that everyone gets to pound on.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Yet the only "pinata" the press recognizes is the birf cerficate. If the Dems are pounding anything, I haven't heard about it.

    • flamingpdog

      Jeeze, first time I post EVER, I get caught in the [opposite of up=redacted] thingie. Better luck next time.

    • RadioJack

      ANY compromise with this outlandish proposal would just suck.

  • Maybe not hurt all "the coloreds." There's mostly just that one…

    • mavenmaven

      "They're OK as long as they aren't uppity like O'bammer."

      • Negropolis

        So, us lower-class ghetto dwellers are cool with you guys, then? Sa-Weet!

        • Sparky_McGruff

          I don't know. You seem pretty uppity to me. Where's your birf certifucate?

          • DahBoner

            Not Uppity, c. 1867

            1. Steps off sidewalk.

            2. Never makes eye contact.

            3. Doesn't look at our White Womens.

          • Negropolis

            Well, I've known to be fond of a good sidewalk or two and don't mind at all sharing one, I like to make eye contact so as that I'm understood and that you can get your point across, and, well, it'd be ever so rude and most unchivarous to not return the kind glance of a woman, regardless of her extraction.

            As for my birf certificate, I'm a US African-American from Detroit. If you can't believe a black dude would be born in Detroit, than I'm not sure I can help you any further.

            You know, like you, I'm just trying to do the Lord's work. You know, walking amongst my fellow man, respectfully holding gazes, reciprocating attractive glances. Can't we all just get along?

          • guangho
    • riverside68

      Don't worry he is imaginary!

  • memzilla

    And birf certificates (QED).

    • No no no, according to King Donald, only people with long form, triple-witnessed, double-authenticated birf sertifikatez can get passports and drivers' licenses…

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    I think one of the subtler fuckups of the Ryan "plan" was making it not apply to people who are over 55. It was just such an obvious, transparent attempt to bribe older people into favoring it. But, however poorly we think of the teatards (and it's pretty damn poorly), they're not monsters, and they have families that they love just as much as those of us in the non-rascal-driving demographic. So when some kocksucker on TV tells them "don't worry, it won't apply to you" I'm willing to bet a significant portion of them will think, "yeah, but what about my childen/grandchildren/nieces/nephews/etc." These people have certainly demonstrated in the past that they will vote for things that are ultimately detrimental to their interests, but I find it hard to believe that most of them would be willing to support such a direct, unambiguous fucking-over of their own offspring.

    Or I hope not, at any rate.

    • Well this grandparent who is pulling double-nickle, and his bride are really pissed over Ryan's Path to Poverty, and so are a lot of our peers. Hope that helps with yer hopes.

      • MadBrahms

        Still, he's got the voucher angle working, so if the Repubs can convince people that privatization really is in their best interests – as they did so effectively in the health care debate – they can still pull this off.

        Of course, as you say, you're not the only one who will never buy it.

    • they're not monsters

      Just like the German public in 1935. This isn't about benefits for the grandkids, it's about ridding the country of Soshalism.

      • Sparky_McGruff

        Soshulism my ass. They couldn't recognize soshulizm if Karl Marx was in front of them at the buffet line at the Golden Corral. For that matter, they couldn't find their asses with both hands and a map.

        They just know that there's a darkie in the white house, and if screwing their grandkids out of healthcare makes the niggra look bad, then they're all for it.

        • guangho

          How very true,

    • finallyhappy

      yeah but how many are too fucking stupid to understand?

      • Sparky_McGruff

        To quote Sarah Palin, "All of them, Charlie".

    • If the Ryan coupon plan does all the wonderful things the Repubicans claim for it, they should be bold enough to want it for all seniors and near-seniors immediately. By excluding those over 55, the benefits won't start for another 10 years. Then only for a limited number of "beneficiaries".

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Well, I have to say that my irritation with Paul von Ryan isn't going to make me change and vote Democratic (because I already vote Democratic).

      It's hard for me to put myself in the mind of a 63-year-old not-rich Republican with kids. I guess I should ask — there's certainly plenty of them around here (though they are non-OC Cali Republicans).

      I will say that most of the Republicans I've ever known have cared about their kids just as intensely as any Democrats. (It occurs to me that a main difference between the parties is the degree to which partisan parents care about other people's kids). I also assume that any middle-class-or-lower person who ever had to try to get private health insurance after about age fifty will be pretty suspicious of "vouchers".

      The ones who may choose to be stupid will be those who had employer-subsidized health insurance right up until they went on Medicare. They may fall victim to the Reagan Delusion — "The system worked for me, therefore it must work for everyone".

      • tessiee

        "It occurs to me that a main difference between the parties is the degree to which partisan parents care about other people's kids"

        Well said, Sir or Madam.

        • Negropolis

          And, despite what anyone tells you, that is an important distinction.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Sophist, I think you are correct. Not all, by any means, but large numbers of oldsters will recognize that they don't want to leave as a heritage for their family members a royal screwing. Some don't give a crap–they've drunk the kool-aid of selfishness and only think that it'll be someone else's problem 'cause they'll be 6' under (or in a urn somewhere). There will be a lot of pissed-on graves and urinal/urns, but I still think a large number will recognize Ryan for his lyin' shit and vote for the future. Hope we're right.

      • gvvt

        If I were a betting man, my money would definitely be on STUPID. They probably don't even remember that this is the same Medicare they were storming around in their scooters protecting from Guvmint meddling during the "town meeting" idiocy.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, this is divide-and-conquer strategy could very well backfire on them. As you said, for it to be so blatant, this times, increases the chances for disaster for them. I really hope this is the case.

      You know what else is good about this? We still control the Senate, so it makes the House throw all of their cards on the table, and we can drag this thing out for the rest of time.

  • CliveWarren

    The Path to Prosperity is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

    • Steverino247

      Say "what" one more time.

      • guangho

        (Teabagger) W…w….w……what Mr Ryan?

    • OzoneTom

      And that's just it's supporters!

  • x111e7thst

    But how does the proximate Rapture play into all of this?

    • nounverb911

      Depends on how heavy the Koch filled money bag is when Ryan picks it up….Oh, the rapture not the rupture. Nevermind.

    • user-of-owls

      Ask the Hebes, I understand they have reservations for the show in the first row.

      • x111e7thst

        If any of the elect are worried about the pets they will be leaving behind, I will take care of them for no more than a nominal fee payable in advance.

        • Geminisunmars

          I am providing insurance for those left behinders to cover the loss of family income.

          • They'll try to pay you with vouchers, GS.

          • user-of-owls

            What, like Long John Silvers coupons?

          • Enough with the deep-fried trayf.

            A coupon for Long John Silverstein's, that's what you want. A nice piece fish, pilaf, salad bar, and a beverage. Talk about the rapture! I'll skip the fried shrimp and the coronary, thank you very much.

  • Rotundo_

    It does surprise me that they are taking this on at this time: It seems to me that putting this crap out front and center is indeed a gift to the democratic party. I can't decide if it is utter arrogance or stupidity that they are rolling this way. Why not diddle at the sidelines with the usual intellectual masturbation exercises they have, that they conveniently never solve (abortion, guns, gays) and seize the government on the next round ala "W" and ramrod it through then? Are they trying for democratic caves on these agenda items for political cover when they ram them through? I never could figure out crazy people.

    • غطرسة يقلل من الحكمة

      arrogance diminishes wisdom

    • Don't worry. The Dems will figure out a way to fuck up this opportunity while simultaneously caving to the opposition party which holds a majority in only one house.

    • neiltheblaze

      One thing you can always count on with Republicans – given a little power, they always, always overreach. They can't help themselves.

    • tessiee

      "It seems to me that putting this crap out front and center is indeed a gift to the democratic party."

      One would think so. And yet…

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Their corporate overlords understand demographic shifts. They think this is their last, best chance. Besides, the Kochs are old and want to destroy what's left of our social safety net before they die.

    • gvvt

      They have been playing the hubris card all across the country like there's no tomorrow. Less than a month to go now.

  • Needz moar 3-hour long verbose speeches by mysterious fictional character who singlehandedly destroys the US American economy.
    http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/MihoshiK/ar

  • mavenmaven

    The Merkin voter will opt to lose everything as long as they can vote against the black guy.

    • Negropolis

      Gawd, I hope you're wrong; I really do. My fervent wish is that the Birthers eat themselves. I hope they split into various, but equally ridiculous, factions. Like one believes that Obama was born in Kenya, another that he was born in Indonesia, another that his white mother was a surrogate, etc…and they fight each other rhetorically to the bloody death like early Christianity.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I worry this.

  • hollywooddood

    I'm not so sure everyone will eventually comprehend. My teabagger neighbor thinks it means everyone but him.

    • guangho

      Which is what most teabaggers think.

  • OneTrueLiberal

    Mr. Layne:

    Although Franklin and I concur with the Wonkette Effort to Promote the Communist Revolution, and agree that Mr. Paul's most recent pronouncements provide ammunition for our propaganda organs, we both feel that you have failed to give sufficient weight to the historical facts that True Liberals have (1) about as much organizational ability as the Italian "army"; (2) a courage of conviction matched only by the French "race"; and (3) a sense of altruism and charity matched only by the Germans.

    Other than that, our Path to Victory In '012 is assured.

    Regards,

    Eleanor

    P.S.

  • crybabyboehner

    "The American system … survived the revolutionary turmoil of the 20th Century only by redistributing just enough wealth to maintain a buffer zone of relative comfort between the billionaires and the seething lower class."

    Shit, I thought they were just being nice.

  • Sassomatic

    I'm wondering what my mother would say if I asked "Medicare and Social Security (which she lives off of) or black guy president?"

    And I'm afraid I already know the answer. The oldz really would rather curl up and die than have a black guy, no matter how Republican he acts, as the POTUS.

    • BlueStateLibel

      It really is depressing hearing some of you guys talk about your olds. My 88-year old father is white, fought in two wars, and always had sympathy for civil rights. The first time he could vote, it was for FDR. In the most recent election he voted for Hopey, and, God willing (if he makes it that long), he'll be voting for Hopey again. And, despite his crippled knee and age, he absolutely REFUSES to use a scooter–hates them with a passion.

      • Sassomatic

        This is not the HuffPo. It's a snark blog. I'm a born and raised southerner who puts up with the constant "all southerners are stupid" comments because, well, it's a fucking snark blog. And snark involves hyperbole and a lack of sincerity. No one comes here to be nice or fair.

        • Rotundo_

          I tend to paint the south with a pretty broad brush. I also realize that there are a lot of people in the south that are good folks. I do need reminding of that sometimes, my thanks to you for doing so. As for your parents, mine were both racist and ignorant, and while I would hope they would have continued growing in their acceptance of people of color (they made a lot of baby steps before passing), I'm not so sure they would have bought into voting for Barry either.

        • BlueStateLibel

          But aren't all southerners…never mind. Lighten up.

          • And I bite my tongue every time some anti-Canadian slander is…. actually, you are all pretty nice to the Canadians.

          • Nothingisamiss

            Being mean to Canadians is like kicking a puppy.

            Easy.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          I'm with you. I'll put up with the "all British cuisine is shit and everyone has bad teeth haha!" stuff for the greater good.

          Having travelled extensively in the South, I find many people there erudite, intelligent and very, very welcoming.

          Stick at it. And yes, as others say, this is a snark blog.

          So let me just say that Californians are pie-in-the-sky hippie dipshits with less grasp of economics and reality than Palin.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Speaking as a Californian hippie dipshit who voted against Prop 13 when I owned three houses, I'd like to offer a cordial "Fuck you".

            And then, I'll agree that stereotyping is always unfair to (at least) a minority of stereotypees. So I salute your snark. And your teeth.

            But, you know, British cooking does kinda lack subtlety (I grew up in Wisconsin, so I know from lack of subtlety in food).

      • comrad_darkness

        I'll trade you two 80 year old wing nuts oldz with relatively good knees . . .

        please?

    • DemmeFatale

      My grandparents were bigoted and ignorant , but these old timey, union members and FDR lovin' Democrats would have DIED before they would have voted for a Republican. If they'd lived, they'd have voted for Hopey (clean and articulate, remember?).

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The standard joke in a very large family of Democrats was that, when a dog bit my grandfather the worst thing he could call that dog was a Republican. It was pretty well true. My mother in her mid-90s voted for Obama and if she lives that long will do it again in 2012.

        • tessiee

          "The standard joke in a very large family of Democrats was that, when a dog bit my grandfather the worst thing he could call that dog was a Republican."

          Dudley's Grandpa: Congress is full of Republicans.
          Dudley's Grandma: Shush, Dear, the children can hear you! Say, "Congress is full of bastards".

  • This is the 2nd time that an idiot from Wisconsin has Koch blocked the Kochs.

  • Let's see, how much value did the dollar loose the last time the Rethugs ruled-the-roost? Oh yeah, 41.5%. Those of you in the 90% with income stagnation or laid-off might not have noticed so much that your Ameros were not buying so many Euros in St. Moritz pre-Shrub v. post-Shrub.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The last time I was in Europe was 2001. The exchange rate was awesome. Now, not so much, eh?

  • metamarcisf

    It's my feeling that a Paul Ryan – Gene Simmons ticket next year would be an unbeatable combo. They could lock up the Detroit Rock City vote today.

  • RadioJack

    They've already got the talking points lined up — get used to hearing:
    This is going to strengthen the free markets,
    It's giving people choices,
    We're broke and need to fix the system anyhow,
    Tax cuts mean nothing but job creation,
    This is about big gov't vs. free enterprise,
    (Shhhh, don't touch the Holy Church of the Military….the troops,)

    • And Obama's policies are devaluing the dollar (see above).

    • DahBoner

      Wanna see a Teabagger's head explode?

      After they rail against Socialism, ask 'em this:

      If Socialism is bad, then can you explain why the Police, Fire and the Military, which are all examples of Socialism, are bad?

  • Guppy06

    The forthcoming bipartisan compromise will reduce the floor for the grandfathering clause to 50, and everyone will live happily ever after.

  • Steverino247

    Hey, I know how to load and fire a .68 cal. rifle musket if the Civil War comes back.

    Oh, and who's turn is it to roll the stone away from my tomb tomorrow? Don't be late.

    • Beetagger

      Jesus, I almost forgot.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    My blood is up. How do you say, "off with their heads" en francais?

    • user-of-owls

      "Off wis zere eds!"

    • Qu'on leur coupe la tête!

      • Walkinwiddaking

        Merci.

    • Negropolis

      guillotine

      • tessiee

        WIN!!

  • voodooeconomics

    This topic should top Gays, Guns and God, but one never know with the brainwashed. Little guy in trailer only watches Fox and they tell him tax cuts for the rich is better than for your sorry ass. Little dude stand up to that and applaud.

    • Negropolis

      **snicker** You said "top gays" **snicker**

  • Hatrabbit

    Even Paul Ryan's immense stupidity faces an uphill battle when it comes to out-stupiding the stupids.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    I'm not going to read this column, as I am afraid of accidentally exposing my brain to the cancer that is newspaper Web site comments.

    I imagine the birther trash must be polluting the hell out of that column right now.

  • cheetojeebus

    I don't know, they weren't that harsh? They didn't mention that he's hung like a light switch.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This is a great plan on Ryan's part. Who needs death panels when you are simply going to let them all die?

  • Yeah, but The Troops!!!!1! And America, for Liberty!!!1!!

  • Oldskool_

    I think he and his buds were genuinely surprised they were booed at that town hall the other day. It was like the the stupid wore off and the crowd became conscious. The next day must have been full of "Oh fuck, what do we do now".

    • bumfug

      They didn't think Skynet would become aware, either.

    • Rotundo_

      That is the beauty that is Ryan's district, most of it is relatively comfortable southeast Wisconsin. There are those few pesky spots where the crowd isn't reliable GOP donor base where he travels into pockets of people in a world of hurt. Those are the folks that aren't as smiley and happy to see him. Up to this point he has been a bit player, but being the face that is about to shaft them in their old age, people in some parts of his district are getting a little rude. Poor Guy, he probably thought everyone loved him at the start of the tour before he ran into the people actually affected by his great plan.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        WaPoo has article today (Sunday) about an older voter in Ryan's district. He's a lifelong Rethuglican but crunched some numbers and came to the meeting to ask THE question: "…what are all these changes going to mean for my son?" Let's hope more sentients awaken and ask the same damn question again and again. If there is one such questioner, there ought to be more. Shouldn't there be? Maybe?

        And maybe the guillotine is the only answer. Sigh.

  • Oh, and doesn't "Stefan Goldstein" sound a little Euro-Yiddish to you? Don't you let "THEM" keep all the gold!

    • guangho

      O that's gonna be the OTHER fun part. You know how W was bent on picking up the Jewish vote by licking Bibi's ass and talking about "values"? Well as someone who has been at a Shabbat table or four, I can say that the magic is wearing off. Repairing the world this ain't.

  • CalamityJames

    Hahaha, you guys are gonna feel so silly 18 months from now when nobody remembers this and votes against the black guy.

    • guangho

      Probably true but this isn't like abortion, gays, etc. If this goes through and people start dying on the streets others might notice…..maybe?

  • dahboner

    Well, it’s like they always say: Spare the coat hanger, spoil the fetus.

    Paul Ryan, we’re talkin’ to you.

    It’s just common sense…

  • hagajim

    Only thing Goldstein forgot….too many Americans are too damn stupid to recognize the obvious.

  • keepem_sikanpor

    Maybe in ten years when one of them hits up the ER because of cheeto and anus burger induced chest pains and are told to go away, maybe they will "get it".
    Trig IS smarter.

  • DaRooster

    As I drive the streets and hiways of this country on a daily basis I am still afraid (after seeing the number of morons out there) that even THIS won't be enough… I am hideously curious as to why anyone would call themselves a Republican… Just amazing!

    I think I mentioned this a couple of days ago but it is worth repeating-
    That guy is a FUCK-NUT! (always good to put a name with the face, is it not?)

    • tessiee

      "I am still afraid (after seeing the number of morons out there) that even THIS won't be enough"

      They could run down the street holding the severed head of Cub Scouts, and it wouldn't be enough.

    • tessiee

      "I am still afraid (after seeing the number of morons out there) that even THIS won't be enough."

      They could run through the streets holding the severed heads of Cub Scouts, and it wouldn't be enough.

      • DaRooster

        I thought they were "all for" the troops?

        Bluebirds perhaps?

  • Amoriahs

    /Snark off, rant on and only somewhat OT

    This is the first time since I began reading and contributing to (search "Bilbray Chicken") Wonkette in '06 that the humor of bloggers and the fellow commentators here have not made the state of our nation more palatable.

    As a political wonk for hire I should be interested in jumping on the trail to "make a difference" in 2012, but FUCK, does it even matter? Corporations doing shit like this and being considered to have personal rights and the ability to donate freely to campaigns; rogue politicians stirring shit up in places we are supposedly just lending our "specialized talents" to, and instigating us into another war we don't need; and general asshattery done in the name of "the constituents" who I would be certain that if they even understood half of what bills like the budget bill were proposing would be rolling right up in their hover-rounds to the doors of their Congressperson protesting the whole damn thing.

    And as a woman, the idea that I can call my congressman and be treated like a 2nd class person because I decried his support of cutting Title IX-and I receive a form letter telling me why my belief is wrong and harming our nation infuriates me. Don't get me started on what happens when I call for the rescheduling of cannabis (In CA, there are so many cannabis campaigns that a person with political experience and a passion for helping others is always in demand)

    I don't want to waste my time raising money for someone who will say what it takes to appease the democratic base to be elected, and then gives a bilateral reach-around to people like the aforementioned woman-hating congressman above.

    Growing up my parents used to say I was born in the wrong decade due to my love of social justice (and a good protest), but I think we have every reason to be out on the streets now as there was in the late 60's…

    /Snark on

    I'll be the one in the street burning my iPhone…

    • x111e7thst

      If you bring your pitchfork I will bring my torch. Is there an engineer somewhere in the house who knows how to construct a guillotine ?

    • Wait a minute… were you the one doing that "pot psychology" segment?

      • Amoriahs

        Perhaps it was *wink*….

        I sometimes think about the Yippies and the Democratic Convention in Chicago when they were threatening to put LSD in the city water supply. Think we could see better results if we pipe in some cannabis smoke onto the floor of Congress, *accidentally* have a Frito-Lay lobbyist deliver some munchies, and lock the doors and let everyone work it out-might see some better logic that we see coming from them now!

        • I let my dang House gallery press pass expire, nagdabbit.

        • In my day, we didn't burn iPhones, we burned draft cards and bras. Pointy ones.

          I think acid would still be a better gift to our legislators. Can you imagine Grandpa Cornpants, Jon Kyl, and Lindsay Graham tripping their asses off and having a compassion attack? I would give everything I have for the chance to see the Republican caucus experience LSD-inspired transcendental awe and empathy.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      "Social justice" and "Social responsibility" are far too often conflated with that huge boogeyman "socialism" by people who don't know what the fuck any of those terms actually mean.

      Drives me mad as well.

      • tessiee

        "who don't know what the fuck any of those terms actually mean."

        Sure they do. All three of them mean, "N****r president giving my hard earned money to other lazy n*****s on welfare".

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      I appreciate your passion and share the love of social justice, making the world fair, etc. Eh, don't give up, though, I think we're seeing real evidence of a shakeup to come, and it's starting in the Midwest. I could be wrong because I'm thinking in terms of ideals and when I do that I often wind up being incorrect. But if this is properly harnessed, the kind of anger at this system and the disgusting excesses of our politicians/ good corporations conflicting with everyone else's economic reality could force a repeat of the 1930's. Maybe things haven't gotten quite bad enough for that to happen yet, but the energy is building and the possibility of more so now than it was in 2008. If what I say comes to pass, Barry is going to have to realign along with it or get swallowed up his ownself. I for one, think if we bring the energy, he'll carry us across the threshold like John Boehner after he marries a bottle of Jim Beam. *disclaimor: I do leave the possibility of me being wrong on any and all claims made.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Oh, and yeah…unfortunately California does occassionally elect ridiculously stupid wingnuts usually reserved for the South, Utah and Idaho. Having once lived in Utah AND Idaho, I feel your pain. I mean, Larry Craig was Senator when I lived there…and I spent years living under Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennet and my rep. was Chris Cannon…

    • emmelemm

      A while back, some post on Wonkette (I don't remember about what) really and truly made me DIScouraged.

      I posted something, and a few fellow commenters posted back, "Never give up. Never surrender." They actually made me feel better.

      So: Never give up. Never surrender.

    • Dig in man hold your ground.

  • fuflans

    if a bagger shot himself in the face he would miss.

    • user-of-owls

      Guess that's one way to save face.

    • comptoneffect

      …and probably hit the floorboard in his car.

    • Negropolis

      And, in the off chance he or she hit themselves in the face, the chances are still low that they'd hit their brain.

    • tessiee

      "Couldn't find his ass in five tries, using both hands and a flashlight."

    • DahBoner

      It's a trick question–Baggers don't serve in Combat…

  • hellbabe

    Not to worry….the administration will jump right in there fighting for the po. And when it's all over, the 10 yars from now medicare recipient will ONLY have to pay $5,400 more. Great news, huh!

  • Trinket

    From your lips to God's ears, Stephen. And Ken.

    Okay, you were typing, not talking, and there is no God. But you know what I mean.

  • Callyson

    Only if California finally secedes and becomes its own nation. Then I'm on board.

    • riverside68

      With Orange Co.? Forrgettaaboutttit

      • Callyson

        Meh, they are drowned out by Los Angeles. But if you insist, you know that earthquake that everyone says will separate CA from the rest of the US? Instead, it can send OC out to the sea…

  • BZ1

    SunSentinal reader prophesizes, "dont [sic] think the US wont [sic] start to look like Libya, Tunesia [sic] Syria soon enough.. like most of the loonytune's comments, sick, indeed…

  • loulouroo

    Why is Intense debate auto- deleting crap all the time now?!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Do not use the preposition opposite to "up", even as part of a word.

  • loulouroo

    Anyway, don't underestimate the stupid. It is STRONG. Have you watched the South Carolina video? They think Obama is a Muslim raised in Kenya by his stepfather, despite the fact that these very same people were attacking him 3 years ago about remarks his very UN-Muslim minister made. If Limbaugh, Savage, O'Reilly, etc. tell them it's a good thing, they will drink the Kool-Aid to their own demise without a second thought. Reality has no influence on them.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    Paul Ryan is the gift that keeps on giving. I know Republicans think the world of "Atlus Shrugged" is real and that we're all parasites but unlike in the book where the events were handled by an amphetimine addled, serial killer loving Russian bitch…haha, when they treat us as such openly, there will be consequences to follow. Thank you for your idiotic budget Paul Ryan and graphically illustrating what you and your cohorts stand for; now be prepared to reap the whirlwind, gentleman. Oh, and a round of poisoned rat dick juice for all Republicans, put it on my tab!

  • Negropolis

    menacing part and ghoulish gaze…

    You know who else had a menacing part and ghoulish gaze?

    BTW, what's with these GOPers with with two first names? Rick Scott, Ron Paul, Paul Ryan and so on?

    • Negropolis

      I'll bite…

      Rosie O'Donnell?

  • Negropolis

    The American system, where “private property” and the unmitigated wealth of corporations has always reigned supreme over such faith-based falsehoods as “We the People,” survived the revolutionary turmoil of the 20th Century only by redistributing just enough wealth to maintain a buffer zone of relative comfort between the billionaires and the seething lower class.

    Now that's the soul-crushingly cynical Ken Layne we've come to know and love.

    But, we'd love you that much more if you'd ever so kindly turn off the censor…merci, mon ami.

  • SonofSpermcube

    Hey, now wait just a minute here. You've got it all wrong. They're perfectly free to fuck off and die while standing at the Wal-Mart check out.

  • SkinnyNerd

    Yeah, it should be interesting to see what happens when the targets of government cuts are no longer people with a different skin color, but yourself. That "yourself" part, it has a way of bringing it home, doesn't it?

  • schvitzatura

    "This is… is… live and direct, G-G-O-O-P-P-P. Am I on air?"

  • ttommyunger

    "The alternate view is that the teabaggers would literally shoot themselves in the face with those guns they love so much if they thought it might also hurt the coloreds." . Never underestimate the willingness of the idiot masses in America to vote against their own self interest, if they think it will damage their perceived enemies. This was commented earlier, but I had to emphasize it.

  • notreelyhelping

    Mistakes were made.

  • DahBoner

    The alternate view is that the teabaggers would literally shoot themselves in the face with those guns they love so much if they thought it might also hurt the coloreds.

    YEEEE HAAAAAWWWW!!!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Where are the jobs you promised, GOTP?

  • comrad_darkness

    Also, modern exportable job skills.

  • smitallica

    Ryan didn't just touch the Third Rail of American Politics; he rubbed his dick on it. This is one of the biggest political fuck-ups in decades. The Democrats need to be SCREAMING this. But they won't. Because like the man said, the Democrats never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

  • gvvt

    I love me a nice Ed Gein reference on a rainy night.

  • gvvt

    That new haircut makes him look like Sean Hannity on a bad nose day.

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