SHARE

G.E. Phone Home.Hi friends! Just checking in to let you know that undocumented immigrants paid an estimated $11.2 billion in local taxes last year — that’s $11.2 billion more than G.E. forked over, even though General Electric is a documented corporation that makes billions and billions of dollars! (Gawd it must be so sexy being a gelatinous corporate monster that doesn’t have to pay taxes, cuz you literally own our sad, sad, sad country.) Ergo: THE BROWN TACO DEMONS WHO DON’T SPEAK AMERICAN PAY MORE TAXES THAN G.E. And so do hopeless college students who earn negative $80,000 every year, because of Sallie Mae loan scams! Even if you haven’t paid your taxes yet — we haven’t! — you have still paid more taxes than G.E., since they received a tax benefit of $3.2 billion. Ha-ha, time for another visit to the liquor store.

Shit is wack. “So it goes.” [NY Daily News]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Barb

    "Ha-ha, time for another visit to the liquor store"

    Sure, we can as soon as our tax return rolls in. Until then, it's Nyquiladas for us.

    • memzilla

      You can borrow my blender to make the Nyquiladas, but I'll have to ask you "How's Bidness?" so I can take the tax deduction.

      • Barb

        And I would tip you generously and ask for a receipt.

        • Negropolis

          Win-Win!

    • I'm already ahead of you. The wife picked up a fresh bottle of vodka yesterday, and I picked up the Hendricks, cucumbers and tonic this morning. I plan on showing the kids how to projective vomit tomorrow morning.

      • V572..whatever

        Vermouth, man (or woman). That's the secret. You get just as bombed but now you're a classy Martini drinker instead of a gin-pounding lush.

        • Martinis get the vermouth, but the Hendricks goes into G&Ts (with the cucumber rather than lime and lemon wedges, just so we can feel "special"). I'm sad though, because the local market was out of Meyer lemons, so no girlie lemondrops to increase the vomitous possibilities.

          • V572..whatever

            You're obviously a drinker of quality and distinction, and cucumbers in the G&T are brilliant. I'm a strict constructionist, almost a Scalia-like Originalist, on Martinis, and find the expression "Vodka Martini" as repugnant as "compassionate conservative" or "sports journalist."

          • I've tried the Gin "Martini" and found it be quite repulsive. Vodka, vermouth, brine from my olive to make it a little dirty, and you've got a real Martini. As to the cucumber, the Hendricks bottle used to have their own G&T recipe on it, using cucumber instead of citrus, and it turned out to be really good. I've yet to find another gin that's drinkable. I think my choices in alcohol may explain why my wage increases over the years have never resulted in extra money in the bank . . .

          • V572..whatever

            Read this. Get a grip. This is important stuff.
            http://www.forbes.com/2008/07/01/eric-felten-inte

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Felten, and Felten's rag (WSJ) may celebrate the ripping off of America, but the man knows his drinking. Maybe guilt helps.

          • I tried, but he lost me when I saw the portion size. 2-3 ounces? Pshaw! P-SHAW!!!! I say!!!! If you can't finish off half the bottle of whatever you're using to make a pair of Martinis, you're not even trying. Why else would they make a Martini glass that holds 8 ounces? Supersize me, dammit!

          • bagofmice

            Spoken Like a real American.

          • riverside68

            Thank you sir!
            The only thing I would add to that lovely article is that I have an original blue-glass drink mixer from the depression era, inherited from Aunt Norma, an authentic Cape Cod Bohemian. The portions etched on the side of the mixer for Martini are 2 parts gin, one part vermouth, half sweet half dry. (I am told the vermouth made the bathtub gin drinkable.)

          • This is an old post, but I just figured out how to make a proper gin martninin martnadf, fuck marinti, and it actually tastes fucking good! Martini. There, I spelled it. The screen keeps moving on me. That little twist of lemon makes all the fucking difference in the world. I may have to reclassify my vodka martnininni as something else. Should I still be working? Fuck em.

          • V572 [SSAN]

            Your life will henceforth be improved, until you reach the point where your cardiologist checks the triglycerides in your blood.

          • There is a company in Spokane called Dry Fly that makes a very good small batch gin, don't know if it can be bought online or not.

          • The best thing to come out of the Lilac City since Bing fucking Crosby.

          • Barb

            Nato, if you plan to yodel groceries tomorrow then you want to lay off too much lemon juice.

      • rileywaggs

        Hendricks? You are a classy bastard! *tip o' the top hat*

        • And I always make sure to wear a monocle whilst sipping it, pinkie raised.

      • Barb

        I am drinking wine from a box. I think V is appalled by my choice. Hey, I didn't want to get out of the pajamas to make a liquor run.

        • The great thing about wine from a box (besides building forts with the empties) is that you don't have to worry about dropping the bottle, and you know you've had enough when you can no longer operate the little spigot as you suspend the box above your head.

          • Barb

            That and if I see any midget winos tonight I can give them the box to sleep in. I am suck a fucking humanitarian.

            Flyer 3-Buffalo 3. Hockey is the best!

          • bagofmice

            Speaking of sucking fucking humanitarians …

          • V572..whatever

            It's no accident that automobile battery acid is shipped in exactly the same kind of container.

        • memzilla

          You go to war with the liquor cabinet you have, not the liquor cabinet you wish you had.

          • Barb

            When I sober up I am going to cross stitch this on a pillow. Thanks Memzilla! You rock!

          • memzilla

            TYVM. I am trying to calculate the relationship between alcohol and the Pee Point Rating Algorithm, and have decided… to have another drink. It couldn't hoit!

          • I just polished off the last of the Hendricks. It's time to consider either being sensible or switching to vodka. Fortunately, the liquor cabinet I'm going to war with is still fairly well stocked.

          • BTWBFDIMHO

            Then it would be …You go to bed with…

          • fuflans

            this is my favorite wonkette thread in a really long time.

          • Boehneriffic

            Try to find Bluecoat gin. I love Hendricks but once I tasted Bluecoat I knew I had found my new favorite.

      • riverside68

        Hendricks is very good, but my current favorite is Rangpur.
        Just saying the name takes me back to imaginary memories of empire
        and hope for a future as a citizen of a has-been country drinking its way to oblivion as every despicable thing we know of crumbles to dust.
        I am going to give the cucumber a try

    • Guppy06

      They're just not the same without the pseudoephedrine.

    • Toomush_Infer

      And by gin, you really mean hobo beans, right?….

    • Negropolis

      Ah, you drinkers; what an interesting and colorful culture you have. I am among gentlemen/ladies and scholars.

      • Barb

        And fine judges of poor whiskey, Negropolis.

        • Negropolis

          But of course! That goes without saying.

    • EdFlintstone

      Does it take a beer drinking, union thug to not make us all look like a winger stereotype? Where you going to drink your fancy "boxed wine" and high falutent mixed drinks in your Volvo's while eating brie? I'll have you know that 21st century hobo bean Americans are now getting their wine from gallon jugs, mixing some grape juice, yeast and sugar with a balloon on top, followed by patience.

      Barb, I have to give a shout out to my Sabres tonight on the win, grew up in Buffalo during the french connection heyday. Still remember the 75 cup against the broad street bullies with Bernie Parent in goal. We will screw it up though, c'mon were Buffalo, it's what we do.

      Anyways, as I reach for my next 12oz can of deliciousness, I just wanted to say thanks to all you funny M-Fers for the laughs.

      • riverside68

        Volvo, please bitch that was so twentieth century
        We drink our gin in our Prius! (With our truffled brie)

      • Barb

        Ed, I was born in Buffalo and lived there until I was 10. Mom's whole family still lives there.

        I was telling V last night that I used to be a season ticket holder in Philly and I would chat with Jill Biden, who was my daughter's favorite college instructor. 25 years in Delaware will make you root for the Philly teams.

        • bflrtsplk

          or at least learn how to boo them.

          • Barb

            The Philly fans can be quite vicious and they tend to leave their party manners at home. I won't join in on that ignorant behavior.

          • bflrtsplk

            It is sad that people feel entitled to behave that way over a game simply because they paid for a ticket, no matter how expensive it is to attend a game these days.

        • EdFlintstone

          Damn small world. My family is still up there too. I lived in Buffalo(Tonawanda and Depew) up to my college years and 25 plus years in Pennsylvania and I still can't root for any Pittsburgh team, unless the Stillers are playing the Patriots or Jets. I'm a loyal, sadistic Buffalo fan, it's probably why I'm a democrat. Here's a flashback to some Buffalo flavor:

          'what are youse guys doin"

          Q—-How much does that cost?
          A—–A dollar tree eighty(3.80)

    • poncho_pilot

      nyquil's expensive. pruno:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pruno

  • V572..whatever

    Even better, those aliens pay into Soshecurity under fake SSANs and never draw any benefit. No wonder we don't have and apparently don't want a reliable way of verifying identity.

    • Sassomatic

      Actually they don't need fake SSNs. They get tax id numbers.

  • memzilla

    As Leona Helmsley said, "Only the little people pay taxes." Ayn (rhymes with swine) Rand would have made a great publicist for GE, since not paying taxes is the highest form of selfishness objectivism.

    • nounverb911

      GE spokesman Ronald Reagan approves this message.
      http://www.ge.com/reagan/

    • That's right. It would be simply unfair, wrong and un-American to not allow corporate psychopath GE to keep all of its piggish earnings and get a rebate to boot. Tea Party Patriots for GE! I am John Galt! Blah Blah Obummer Socialism!

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      Who needs Ayn Rand when one can have Ayn Rand Paul?

  • Sue4466

    So, if GE paid no taxes on $14 billion in profits, the Mexicans must rake in gazillions of dollars to owe so much in taxes.

    • memzilla

      If the Messicans were so smart they'd incorporate as a Delaware corporation with a Cayman Islands office, so it's their fault for not hiring enough white tax attorneys.

    • OzoneTom

      Obviously, since they have all of the white-people jobs!

      • DaRooster

        Yeah, I really miss scrubbing toilets at the Indian Casino.

  • Beowoof

    Facts, facts you know all these fact about how we are being screwed by our corporate masters is just not important when you consider that our president is black,Kenyan, muslim intent on destroying truth justice and the American way

    • memzilla

      Pesky ol' facts… bless their li'l ol' deductible hearts.

    • Sassomatic

      You forgot to mention that he is Hitler, as well.

      • LetUsBray

        Aw, he's only Hitler because he's morally weak.

      • Negropolis

        Also, he's the anti-Christ. Also.

    • poncho_pilot

      he bathes in the blood of kittens and puppies.

  • Sue4466

    Paying taxes: just one more job the Mexicans have to do because Americans don't want to.

    • pinkocommi

      Paying taxes: just one more job the Mexicans have to do because American corporations don't want to.

      There. Fixed.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      Win.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Those Messicans paid that much in taxes? And we still had to pay for their free flu shots?

    ^ Pet peeve of mine – an Okie complaining in a letter to the newspaper editor about the health department giving free flu shots to illegals (little kids and old people, mainly).

    • OkieDokieDog

      And GE makes crappy assed microwaves.

      • nounverb911

        And lets not forget the Fukushima power plant with its GE reactors. Also.

      • Fix my icemaker, muthafucka!

      • emmelemm

        And crappy refrigerators – a certain vintage of various models put in in the last 10 years to every newly built condo in these parts has shown notorious unreliability in the ice-maker water hose, causing innumerable leaks into units below.

    • the_problem_child

      That's not corporate welfare we can believe in.

    • Sassomatic

      So this guy is angry because the Mexicans are not allowed to spread pestilence? Because that's what Mexicans were put on this earth to do? I guess that's it.

      • tessiee

        I had a very similar conversation with a co-worker who then said something like, "Where's MY flu shot?". I said that maybe the solution was to make sure that everyone got flu shots.

    • DustBowlBlues

      No one can appreciate complete idiocy like me and my OKcompatriot. I used to kind of think, yeah, we ought to do something about illegals and since the serious illiegal hatred began, I'm more like, fuck, they're better people than we are.

      • EdFlintstone

        DBB, I always wanted to know, do you Oklahoma democrats have your annual meeting in a phone booth?

        • OkieDokieDog

          Sometimes I wonder if the Democratic party even knows that Oklahoma is a state. Sure, there's Blue Dog Rep Dan Boren, but he's a Republican posing as a Dem – for some reason.

          • AJW@[redacted]

            I think it's kinda like "pro" rasslin'. Sometimes you're the guy in the white hat, sometimes you're the villain, but it all pays the same.

      • OkieDokieDog

        I'm still annoyed by some woman who wrote in to the paper telling why she was voting for GWBush before his 1st term. "He's a good Christian man". She probably still thinks that.

        And don't even get me started about the guy that wrote in enraged that a movie theater showed an ad for Oreo cookies in GASP! Spanish. He said he went home and threw away his Oreos (but I think he lied about that part).

        Yeah, bitching over flu shots. I guess this guy doesn't care if those legal or illegal Mexicans working in the nursing home get sick with the flu and then pass it on his Grandma. Douche bag ain't got enough sense to know that no one should be denied a freakin' flu shot or meds for TB.

    • Walkinwiddaking

      Thank god we're a Christian nation huh?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Taco Demons? Now I'm hungry for Taco Bell. Oh & hurray for the brown people who love America more than the shits at GE.

    • OzoneTom

      America is just an aberration — General Electric is forever.

    • tessiee

      Have bacon tacos been invented yet? And if not, why not?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Does this mean that Arizona will pass a law requiring the police to get ID from any person working for GE when they pull them over?

    • V572..whatever

      No, but your oven is in serious trouble.

      • And a Messican with a stove in the truck bed–that's just beggin' for it.

  • nounverb911

    "(Gawd it must be so sexy being a gelatinous corporate monster that doesn’t have to pay taxes, cuz you literally own our sad, sad, sad country.)"
    And Trump's just a gelatinous individual monster who doesn't want to pay taxes.

  • GodShammgod

    Yeah, and our great "progressive" president enlists this corporation's head as his "job czar". There's nobody to vote for. God fuck us all.

    Oh, and buttsecks.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Now let's don't go all carrying on like liberals.

    • Hey now. Jeff Immelt knows better than anybody how to have a really good job. He makes millions and probably mostly plays golf. Once he gets all the unemployed the same job, America will be back in the saddle.

      • Lost_Teabaggers

        My question is, why don't they ask you? I mean, you're Ken Lay…oh sure, you're hiding out in drag and spend a lot of time at bars by the name of Kendra Layme, but really that's just being a good christian conservative, idn't it? If there's one thing Ken Lay knows better than just about anyone (except for Darth Blankfein) it's how to screw poor people out of money using mafia tactics. He'd make a great tres.sec, wouldn't he?

        • I'm not Ken Lay! I'm trying to find him. Sort of.

          But when we do, I'm sure he will be acquitted and made a hero. I actually had someone twitter me that "when you find him, I'd like to meet him, he was a great business man. He took a pipeline company and turned it into one of the world largest corporations." Sigh. Yeah, Ken Lay. Great businessman. You know you're a great business man when you bankrupt a megacorporation. Only in America. People are so stupid. Also, Tony Hayward is great with Pelicans.

    • Negropolis

      Question, was the shit about GE uncovered before or after that choice? It seems to me that nobody had really been looking into this until after PattiMmelt was chosen. In that case, he should have been dropped instantly.

    • arihaya

      and those wingnuts called him a soshielist

  • SayItWithWookies

    That's because Mexicans in the most jingoistic country in the world feel they have something to prove. GE, on the other hand, is run by executives who are being continually reinforced with the idea that The LORD put them here to rape and pillage the land and its people, and they'll be damned if they pay a penny in taxes for all those jobs they've created. For those ungrateful Mexicans.

    • V572..whatever

      Really? I think Jack Welch and Jeff Immelt are way more cynical and much smarter than that. They're perfectly willing to propagate that bullshit to voters, though, or give $$$ to those who do.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Smarts aren't always required to be a successful CEO. Most corporations, in fact, want in their executives what Dorothy Parker wanted her husbands to be: handsome, ruthless and stupid.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, it's the Divine Right of Kings, FTW.

      • unclejeems

        So they'll know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

  • Not to be picky (okay, to be picky because I'm pissed that I can't use the non-piglatinzed word ownday in posts any more and I wasted most of my work day figuring that out), but didn't the undocumented immigrants really pay $14.4 billion more in taxes than G.E., given that we paid G.E. our taxes?

    • DustBowlBlues

      I'd share your pain if I could figure out what the fuck you're talking about.

      • ttommyunger

        Me too, ouch-head hurts, must-not-do-thinky-thing!

      • Taxes, wasting time and words that now trigger the autodelete on our beloved Wonkette posts.

    • MathIsHard

      OwnDay? Seriously? That's the word? I had two posts instantly vaporized because I chose too pessimistic a direction?

      • MathIsHard

        WTF?!

        What is this, Pee-Wee's Playhouse?

      • Seriously. I'm guessing there are other words out there, but that's the first one I've found. Trig, snowbilly grifter, fucking nuts are all fine. Just don't type the opposite of up, even as part of a larger word.

        • DashboardBuddha

          Down? That's a real downer. We're all going down down down in a burning ring of fire.

          • Hey, how'd you do that? Is it your might P score? I just tried posting that word again, and was once again deleted.

          • DashboardBuddha

            You score isn't that much further down than mine. At least the downfister troll isn't so busy today.

          • MathIsHard

            Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

          • Or did you behave and not go back to taunt the breitards after they threw their hissy fit? Maybe a few of us are on a tarderist watch list here…

          • DashboardBuddha

            Dunno…I won't go to breitard's site, but I seem to be followed by quite a number of them. I'm almost sorry they don't follow me in real life. If they did, they'd get a cane up their asses.

          • glamourdammerung

            I have looked at that train wreck a few times and felt commenting there was beneath my dignity. Given how many poop jokes I make a day, that says something.

          • DashboardBuddha

            Heh. Yeah…and I got another one following me. That so creeps me out. I find it hard to believe there are so many lonely drifters living in their vans and ripping off wi-fi.

  • RadioJack

    And we have the highest corporate tax rate in the world!!1!
    USA! USA! USA!

    • memzilla

      "…highest corporate tax evasion rate…"

      /fixed

  • BZ1

    right, but can they power up fighter planes?

  • Oldskool_

    Yes but they work billions of times harder than GE. Wait, that didn't come out right. Or did it.

  • EdFlintstone

    When G.E. says they're going green, they aren't talking about the environment. They paid no taxes while cutting American jobs too.

  • Sassomatic

    It makes sense that the Mexicans have to pay all the taxes because they are the ones using up all the welfare by taking our jobs.

  • chascates

    Poor, hungry people will always make any effort to eat.
    Rich, greedy companies will always make any effort to not pay taxes (or workers, dividends, etc.)
    Idiot, corrupt politicians will always make hay confusing the two.

  • iburl

    We bring good things to life (zombie hordes)

    • Extemporanus

      Though memorable, that's actually G.E.'s old slogan.

      If I'm not mistaken, it was changed about six or seven years ago to "Immigration at Work".

  • Schmannnity

    What? If GE is paying no taxes, that's too much. It needs a tax cut (and our sincere apologies).

    • OzoneTom

      One "tax expenditure" coming right up Sir!

  • Callyson

    And on that note…
    Reverend Horton Heat – It's Martini Time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74d7e6tLEuk

  • G.E. don't need no stinkin' taxes.

  • politics_nerd

    http://www.usuncut.org/
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • I'm afraid to click that link. Is that an anti-circumcision site?

  • Goonemeritus

    Actually GE did pay taxes just not to the Good old USA, their non domestic operations made the profit or more likely the profit was shifted to them. A few weeks ago when this storey came out I was driving through Albany and the local NPR station had a GE propaganda operative on to explain how the storey was totally unfair. My take away was they have a kick ass tax department, I envision 1000 lawyers chained to desks in a hollowed out volcano somewhere.

    • EdFlintstone

      They have just under a 1,000 people in their tax department. Their return was 24,000 pages, imagine a couple of government paid CPA's going against that. There hasn't been a bigger mismatch since Tyson v Spinks.

    • DustBowlBlues

      When Hopey came into office, they hired more IRS auditors and were targeting the wealthy. (Bush only bothered with the Earned Income Tax Credit). Of course, the Republifucks cut their budget.

      Gee, I 'm trying to be all holy, but the thought of these pricks is a real Holy Ghost meditation kill.

  • pinkocommi

    Remind me to trade in my next hobo bean ration for GE stock.

  • Goonemeritus

    At some point you have to blame the victim (us) and admire these pricks for playing the game so well.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      No, you don't have to do that, actually. Admiring corporations for outright thievery is a bit like admiring a serial killer because he's good at covering up his tracks (Ayn Rand would have a girl boner at such). I don't admire fuck-ass corporations for cheating the system, because they've also lobbied to make sure thier cheating is legal. At the same time, I fail to be bothered when some schlub found a way to illegaly extract $10,000 in tax returns by claiming he owns a Van Gogh as a write-off. This country is filled with such fuckin' hypocrisy when it comes to how corporations are admired for being tax cheats and regular people get sent to prison for doing similar though far less expensive tax cheating. I really think every marraige and household should incorporate and rob the system blind, maybe when that happens the asshole politicians will FINALLY recognize theres a problem here.

  • fuflans

    yes but lindsey lohan is going to jail again.

    • El Pinche

      Yes, I got the breaking news from CNN. And I thought it was something dumb like the uprising in Syria.

      • RadioJack

        Any news yet on whether Snooki is going to the Royal Wedding?

        • El Pinche

          Nope, I'm still 1wk behind on Charlie Sheen news. Mmmmm, I love corporate media corn-syrup. Hey look we have a new president! President Trump! How'd that happen? Oooh look a Kim Kardishian ass iphone app! Nomnomnom….

          Shorter: we're fucking doomed.

          • not that Dewey

            There's a new Missing White Girl, too. MSNBC won't shut the fuck up about it/her.

  • DustBowlBlues

    OT: I just got back from being holy at church and . . . wait. Fuck. I forgot to pray for the president and victory for the Libyan rebels during meditation, because I was debating whether the Earth Day readings from the pulpit would drive away the last few members of the congregation who didn't leave because we don't hate the gayz so I guess Hopey and Ibrahim (I have no idea what Libyans are called, other than that dick, Malomar Ghaddafy) (weird, to be named after a deeiicious candy bar) going to have to carry this shit by themselves until next Good Friday.

    • V572..whatever

      Can atheists go to your church?

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Who do you think are throwing the spitballs from the back row?

    • ttommyunger

      Amen!

  • fuflans

    working on it with wine.

  • I can haz headz on pikes?

  • WilliamHTaft

    Mexicans are the ones that pray 5 times a day, right? I don't trust them.

    • Negropolis

      I know, right? If it takes five whole tries to whisk their prayer to their god, they can't be that great. It only takes one good, verile Christian prayer to reach the Father. Chew on that bitches. USA! USA!

      • WilliamHTaft

        Plus they killed our lord.

        • Negropolis

          Yes, the Messlicans/Messlamics killed Jesus de Nazareth at the Battle of Monterrey during the Mexican-American War, the bastards. Nevar Fohget!

          • HistoriCat

            And now they name their sons after him in mockery – those bastards!

          • Negropolis

            We should start naming our children Moohamid Rodriguez and such in retaliation

          • AJW@[redacted]

            Take that, Juan Epstein!

          • Negropolis

            Juan Epstein El-Gamal!

  • fuflans

    if GE is a corporation and corporations are people then GE fucking better clean out its closet and stop seeing that tramp.

  • Gopherit

    commie. no wonder andy breitbart picked you to be his first bottom.

  • Negropolis

    Does GE advertise here? (they sure do everywhere else it seems) If so, I can think of a few Trig-related comments that'll get them off or backs and lessen our load to bear…

  • fartknocker

    The same week I dropped a $2144.00 check to the IRS my POS refrigerator died. So while I was shopping for a new refrigerator, the sales person at my local appliance store was telling me why I should be a GE refrigerator. After explaining my reasons for not spending one greenback on a GE product, the fine salesperson told me about an another manufacturer's appliance that was $200 cheaper that had better features. When I asked him why he didn't tell me about this originally, he felt obligated to support an American corporation – after my story (and his story as a small business owner and the taxes he paid) he concluded the same thing: it's all about class welfare and We the corporation and its lobbyists, not We the people of this nation.

    The fact that our President picked the GE CEO as an economic stimulus advisor makes me want to send him a bag of lightly salted rat dicks.

    • ThundercatHo

      The fellow who came and tried to fix our 6 y.o. GE fridge said it would be more expensive to repair than replace. We asked him for recommedations. He told us not to go with GE as those in the appliance repair business refer to them as "Generally Expensive" and have a poor reliability rating which was confirmed by Consumer Reports.

  • Negropolis

    For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul…

    Apparently $3.2 billion a year.

  • MrFizzy

    The Messkins need better representation on K Street, then things will smooth out for them.

  • Negropolis

    OT, but the xenophobic shit-stains that Terry Jones brought with him up to Michigan, yesterday, were quite literally run out of town by the locals.

    • You all don't fuck around in Michigan, do you. I remember first time I went to Ann Arbor / Yipsilanti in the 90s (yeah, for a rave) there was supposed to be some klan rally, but basically 10x more anti-fascists showed up and kicked their ass until they had to run. The police couldn't even stop it. "Smash the KKK" flyers being handed out all over. Beautiful.

      I didn't actually go of course. I took ecstasy and acid and freaked out in some abandoned building instead.

      By the way, I'm really starting to get off this whole "I disagree with what you're saying, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it thing." Fuck these racist jack offs like Jones. If they want their free speech, they're going to have to fight for it themselves. Does the ACLU still defend people like the Klan and Jones? Why the fuck do they waste their time and resources on these maggots. I get the "principal" but I'm kind of like "fuck it". They can protect their own free speech, it doesn't mean the ACLU should waste legitimate resources trying to do it for them.

      • ARGHHHH! yes, I just read that as well, and it really fucks with my liberal brain, paying the ACLU to defend fucktards. I guess the argument is that the law could be used to oppress people who weren't complete assholes as well? I think I'll go back to my weekend drinking marathon instead of worrying about this shit. I'm going to try my first gin martinis in 8 years. Maybe my earlier criticism of the classic martini was uncalled for. We'll see . . .

        • Classic Martini is Classic.

        • tessiee

          "Maybe my earlier criticism of the classic martini was uncalled for."

          Call me a traditionalist if you will, but I've never been disappointed by a Tanqueray martini with twist of lime.

      • Negropolis

        By the way, I'm really starting to get off this whole "I disagree with what you're saying, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it thing."

        I just posted a HUGE reply to your post and it was deleted. Suffice it to say, I'll be shorter, this time. I totally agree with you. Jones was not denied the right to protest in Dearborn, only a particular locations for specific reasons (i.e. right in front of the mosque), and Jones is not in need of dire legal assistence or defense.

        Liberals are so afraid to appear unfair (something conservatives have absolutely zero qualms about), that they go out of their way to be principled contrarians, at times. I guess I don't much fault the ACLU for doing what they feel they have to do, but they can definitely spare me their self-righteous indignation as if Jones was a victim in all of this.

        Here's Terry's problem; he thought he could come to Dearborn and abuse his First Amendment right with impunity. Boy was he ever wrong. I don't fault Dearborn for a single second for tying this fucker up in the court system for a day. Make him work for all of the trouble he's caused for once. No, we don't fuck around up here, no siree.

        • Exactly. when it is time for the G20, something that actually matters and should be protested, people get packed into pens miles away form the where they could be seen. When it is something that doesn't stir up racial emotions like a union picket, protesters are held to strict noise standards and also packed in pens. No one says a word.

          But when you've got some crazy psychotic racist ass wipe who wants to burn a holy book in front of a house of worship devised specifically to cause some severe strife and hoping, hoping, hoping for some violence – this has to be defended for "the principal of free speech". Bullshit.

    • Yes, protesting against A-RABs in Dearborn is likely to go over well. Besides being the home to some of the best Middle Eastern restaurants west of the Straits of Gibraltar, Dearborn is well over 60% Arab and Arab-American. And, obviously, Shariah Law has taken hold in Dearborn, because no one can enter the Henry Ford Museum without first doing ablutions, and the muezzin calls the adhan five times a day from that bell tower that looks like Independence Hall. Oh yeah, and don't forget "Chop-Chop Square" inside Greenfield Village.

      Fuck him.

  • arihaya

    if only those Messicans incorporate themselves as a corporation,,

    • Sue4466

      then the GOP would have to admit they're "people." See Citizens United.

    • Pragmatist2

      Yes. Then they could participate in elections too.

  • ttommyunger

    GE: "We bring bad things, and strife."

  • x111e7thst

    I just don't understand what the problem is. Were you guys asleep when Leona Helmsley explained that paying taxes is for the little people? Riley – you get a pass for being all young and shit..

  • BarackMyWorld

    AMERICUN CORPRIT TAXES R HIGHEST IN WORLD!!!!!!!

  • Mort_Sinclair

    How many undocumented tax-paying workers are employed by GE? Wouldn't that be the ultimate kicker.

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck Messicans. I'm a working class poor honky, and I pay more taxes than GE.

  • /snark off

    The last time government and major corporate firms became one was 75 years back (do check-out the comments, or perhaps leave one). Amerika today has its own jugend issues as we see in some of the videos our beloved editors post.

    /snark on – at least partially

    And it looks like GE had Ronblow's mouth right around the corporate tool. Imagination at Work certainly seems to sum it up – fucking shadows on an allegorical cave wall.

  • widget2011

    This is exactly why we should establish a progressive tax scheme as follows:

    Tax Bracket Tax Rate
    0$ to $ 15000 92%
    $15000 to $35000 90%
    $35000 to $60000 75%
    $60000 to $100,000 50%
    100,000 to $200,000 15%
    200,000 to $500,000 -25%
    500,000 to $Infinity -100%

    Somehow I think you could get the teabaggers to support this. And if that fails, you could dust could always dust of that flat(ulent) tax scheme, that pulls in a lot of the idiots.

  • hagajim

    Can we just deport GE already? Oh wait, they've already deported all the jobs.

  • SnapTie

    In Texas, 44 percent of legal immigrants and 70 percent of illegal immigrants receive welfare assistance, with illegal immigrants generally receiving benefits on behalf of their U.S.-born children, according to the study, written by a think tank that favors reducing immigration into the U.S.

    Overall, Texas tied with California and New York for the second highest immigrant welfare rates behind Arizona.

    We should note that the study takes an expansive view of what constitutes a government welfare program, so programs such as reduced-price school lunches for low-income students are classified as welfare, according to CIS' methodology.

    Texas showed 71 percent of households headed by an immigrant utilizing at least one program compared to the 32 percent of Texas natives on welfare.

    We still lose money on the illegal Parasites. Hey Wonky!!! Post more advertisers ,we are going to continue after every last one.

    • tessiee

      "with illegal immigrants generally receiving benefits on behalf of their U.S.-born children,"

      So…
      You're criticizing people by picking on their kids?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Illegals don't have the right to feed their kids. Besides, if we can get their anchor babies to die from malnutrition, they'll stop coming here. And they'll tell their neighbors back in Messico scary stories about the Invisible Hand.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      No hard numbers, just selected "percentages" that reflect the fact that immigrants tend to be poor. Gee, who knew? Gotta love Rethug stink tank statistshits.

      Speaking of parasites, it's interesting that fully 1/3 of the "great" state of Texas is on the dole. No wonder NASA didn't want to send 'em a shuttle — it would have ended up on cinderblocks in a weedy lot.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    It is more than passing ironic that the lovely racists of our society use the "illegals only take, they don't pay in" meme as part of their "theyse takin ar jerbs!" rhetoric to justify "papers please" laws and various other "we hate the Browns" resolutions when in reality undocumented workers pay in billions to our tax system while conversely the "supermen" corporations literally DO take and don't pay taxes in and we're supposed to worship these 'job creators' while deporting undocumented hispanics….yeah, sure that makes sense conservaturds. Oh, and we know…you don't hate Obama because of his skin color, either; 'the blacks' are good friends of yours.

    God, I fuckin' hate wingnuts.

    • SnapTie

      They are not undocumented,they are fucking illegal aliens. They are uneducated invaders.

      • Lost_Teabaggers

        Nice, I drew a bigot out with that comment. Okay, sluggo, first off a person is only an "illegal alien" when they are deported and then return. So, your emotional anger is as always, drowning in ignorance. Second of all, for being "invaders" undocumented people sure are going about it the wrong way. They pay for more in taxes than they take out while corporations operate as an inverse to that. Yes, I know…pointing out what drains on our system some of the largest corporations are qualifies as "communism" because corporations and the wealthy are unimpeachable to wingnuts such as yourself. My only question is, if you guys want fuedalism so badly, why aren't you living in Somalia? Is it because black also live there? Oh, I know that's exactly why but I think it's cute when wingnuts pretend they aren't racist. I await your reply, I need the laugh.

  • AJW@[redacted]

    Can I still say ↓ ?

  • If GE execs weren't so in cahoots with Obama and the Democrats (ever wonder how GE gets those tax benefits?), I couldn't be more outraged, but Wonkette fails to point that important piece of information. Obama, you can squeeze that GE lemon all the way, but not only for your re-election campaign!

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Oh, and 'fiscal' conservative Paul Ryan's plan, if implimented as-is would explode the deficit via MORE giant tax cuts to those drowning in money while upholding every, single subsidy and privatizing services to those with less so older people can die of inadequate care. There's your "compassionate" conservative for you: more tax cuts and subsidies to those who don't need them while everyone else gets stiffed. I guess idiots like Ryan really believe in Ayn Rand's fictional, created and directed universe instead of objective reality. These people should be studied by psychologists, not elected to office.

Previous articleRepublicans To Screen 9/11 First Responders To See If They’re Terrorists
Next articleThanks, Paul Ryan, For Reminding Voters GOP Wants To Kill Medicare & Social Security!