ayn rand has died again

Ron Paul’s Son Hates Liberty: Not Running For Senate

Instead of the gold standard, Dr. Robert Paul probably wants to let the U.S. go on the fetus standard, because he refuses to do anything about it.

“I’m honored that people think I’m ready to run, but I think they want me to run because I’m related to Ron Paul,” said Paul, who has a family medical practice in Benbrook and lives in Fort Worth. “I think the biggest thing I have that’s similar to my dad is that I’m honest. […]

“My dad told us something like, ‘If you understand liberty, and understand what the problems are, and you do nothing, then you are part of the problem,'” he said. “I’m never going to say never.”

Robert Paul is part of the problem, for now, at least. And that problem is our government doesn’t have enough people named “Paul” who vote no on everything and refuse to work on legislation. [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. GunToting[Redacted]

    And remember… If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

  2. Mumbletypeg

    our government doesn’t have enough people named “Paul”

    I don't feel the Paul's have enough family members named "R____."

    1. CapnFatback

      Let's ask cousin RuPaul if she agrees.


        1. DaRooster

          Fuck Facebook!

          (Sorry, just watched Funny People last night, had to say it sometime today)

  3. Callyson

    “I think the biggest thing I have that’s similar to my dad is that I’m honest."
    Oh, how I wish I could erase from my dirty mind my speculation about what the *smallest* think he has that is similar to his dad…

  4. TX_Bluebonnets

    This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

    OK, wtf? Really? If there's a problem, contact me off list. You have my email. If it's sabotage, let me know. I'm not here all the time, as living in Texas requires constant interaction with the physical environment to avoid getting attacked by Rick Perry's hair.

    1. Callyson

      This happened to me a couple of times too. I think there is some weird glitch in Wonkette's system.

    2. onemoretime79

      I see your comment. And I raise you a million burning acres of global climate change denying Texans.

      If your'e in Austin pls accept my sincere apology.

  5. OkieDokieDog

    Does this mean he's skipping over that sissy Senate job and going straight for POTUS?

  6. Cat_Damon

    You know who else never says never? Justin Bieber. Bieber for Senate… err.. Parliament… err… mountie… 2030!

    1. horsedreamer_1

      If he were to become a U.S. citizen, he could run for Senate. But anyway, he still has a dozen or so years before he's eligible, by age.

  7. pinkocommi

    ‘If you understand liberty, and understand what the problems are, . . . "

    I wonder if the Pauls' understand that their supporters are stupid, racist asswipes?

    1. JustPixelz

      Some of their supporters have deeply held, nuanced beliefs in the whatever-the-fuck Ayn Rand wrote in "Atlas Shrugged". I never read it myself, but I understand the basic idea is "screw thy neighbor". Also, morality is an impediment to progress. Who among them doesn't think the world would be a better place of all the untermensch were moved away — concentrated, as it were — in a more appropriate place.

    2. GOPCrusher

      But they want to legalize marijuana, which is suppose to negate all the bad things that they stand for.

        1. poncho_pilot

          "In days of old, when ships were bold
          Just like the men who sailed them
          and if they showed us disrespect
          we'd tie them up and flail them
          often men of low degree
          and often men of steel
          who'd make you walk the plank alone
          or haul you 'round the keel

          hoist the Jolly Roger!
          hoist the Jolly Roger!
          hoist the Jolly Roger!
          it's your money that we want
          and your money we shall have!"

  8. ttommyunger

    he said. “I’m never going to say never.” Ummm, dickwad, you just said ne…..oh fuck it!

  9. DustBowlBlues

    I just read a CSMonitor article about the Atlas Shrugged movie. Maybe this is the thread to ask this: should I be proud or ashamed that I've never read it and have no idea what you guys are talking about when you say "Go Galt?"

    Or all the other wonkeratti making it up, too, and none of us have read that long piece of shit because the biggest dicks on the planet like it. Was Galt an architect? Because Rand was big with the Frank Lloyd Wright cult.

  10. carlgt1

    obviously the best "bits" of Ron Paul ended up on the sheets & walls of his boring $325K house (now for sale)

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