needy has-beens

Sad Sarah Palin Begging Blogs To Cover Her Squirmish-y Speeches

Please help this millionaire grifter stay in the news!Squirmish-y grifter Sarah Palin isn’t getting noticed enough by the media she pretends to hate! This is why the multi-millionaire human fraud and political quitter is begging the Huffington Post to please, please, please keep her in the blog-news cycle. It’s one thing to be a gleefully ignorant demagogue to a bunch of unemployed housebound white people on Twitter clicking the ‘puter until their electricity is shut off again, but how does Sarah get money from that? She needs those $100,000 checks for squeaking out some half-baked bigotry, and in order to be “worth the money” (to billionaires), she’s got her press aide sending these desperate tweets begging the blogs and television networks to cover Sarah’s latest spill of word salad. Because when the media coverage of vapid human oddity Sarah Palin stops, the $100,000 appearances stop. There’s just one problem: Even the media is tired of Sarah Palin, the most reliable clown of the past three years. What’s Grandma Palin gonna do now?

Here, courtesy of Dave “I’m just an objective person in the middle of this but I keep using words that show I’m actually laughing at the teabaggers” Weigel, is a series of pathetically needy tweets from the Wasilla Grifter’s latest PR person. Hint for Rebecca: When you insult the Lamestream Media in the same tweet that includes the begging for Lamestream media coverage, you actually do the near impossible and look even stupider than Palin herself:

Creepy old lady demands attention. Ignore her.
[Dave Weigel/Slate]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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  1. Cicada

    Hi @RAMansour What's it like doing shit-shoveling duty for America's Greatest Quitter? Also, why does your finger smell like Todd's ass? #youknowitdoes

    1. Gopherit

      Her obvious hi-caliber talent for PR suggests the snowbilly had to pay upwards of 3 boxes of chardonnay AND a carton of real marlboros for that kind of quality.

      1. Cicada

        Come now. Whining about how the media aren't paying attention while simultaneously claiming they aren't important shows PR chops worthy of at least a bum jug of Gallo's finest Thunderbird.

        1. Gopherit

          Actually, when you put it that way, it makes me suspect Rebecca A Mansour is a pseudonym for Palin herself. These tweets sounds like she, Todd, Bristol, and Willow made them up to keep the Gravy Train on the tracks.

          1. GOPCrusher

            I was just going to point out that Rebecca A. Mansour strikes me as an annoying cunt.
            So your hypothesis has some validity.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    I'm sure Simple Sarah would appreciate the rather ironic application of starving the beast (of attention) then drowning it's hopes/dreams/multimillion dollar contracts/etc in a bathtub.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Sarah who been done run through her 15 seconds of fame and $12 million in grifting now she sees the future and its as a rusty long abandoned Tundra daisy

      1. SorosBot

        Like most lottery winners, Palin may soon find out that it is possible to go bankrupt after making millions of dollars.

  3. pinkocommi

    If she shot herself with her hunting rifle, that would garner media attention. I'm sure she's already had the idea, though. She's just not good with follow-through, that Sarah Lou.

  4. Rosie_Scenario

    Too bad for Sarah that she doesn't want to spend more time with her family. Then again, who would?

  5. bureaucrap

    It seems nearly impossible, but snowbilly's run out of things to say that are stupid enough to get her new coverage. Here are a couple, Sarah — try these on for size:

    "I think Israel and Palestine should both move to Libya — that way we solve two problems at once!"

    "If you give food to the poor, they'll just eat it and continue living. That's not fair to THEM."

    "We should be giving the Koch brothers MORE money. Lots more money. These Chanel dresses aren't free, ya know…"

  6. Gopherit

    Boy, that's one PR person with a silver tongue. You'd think bloggers and news agencies would be tripping over themselves to cover her with that kind of twitter-fellating.

    1. assistantatlas

      Seriously! WTF is wrong with that dumb bitch? Specifically, the dumb bitch who is the PR lady, not the dumb bitch who hired her. Seriously, if I were running the Twitter feeds at any of those places, I would've had some choice words for her. Perhaps: "Sorry, but we only cover news and Sarah Palin stopped being relevant several years ago. Oh, and #eatabagofdicks" Jesus Christ, the only PR people that openly petty and bitter and small-minded and assholish are the reps for Fox News. ….hmmmm, wait a minute…

  7. EdFlintstone

    Howie Kurtz covered this on Reliable Sources and this Mansour had to apologize because they did cover it. But dont let facts stop you from making an idiot of yourself, Mansour.

      1. V572..whatever

        Howie Kurtz is one personality you do not want to see in hi-def. Don't ask how I know.

        1. __kth__

          One time on Reliable Sources, his guests were Wonkette Emeritus and Glenn Reynolds. Talk about liberal media bias…

      2. EdFlintstone

        You mean you didn't want to see Howie talk about the Trig thing? Which he did. I hate Howie as much as his right wing wife does.

  8. SorosBot

    Maybe the news networks are tired of the complaints of the migraines and breaking glass caused by the sound of her voice.

    1. WilliamHTaft

      I'm gonna take a wild guess and go with "say a bunch of ignorant things on Facebook." I'd bet the farm on it, actually.

    2. zhubajie

      So, is it a safe guess that she hasn't been saving her money? Will we see her name on the welfare rolls in Wasilla in a few years?

    1. Crank_Tango

      Do we have mccain on tape saying that? because it would be the first decent thing he's done in ten years…

  9. anniegetyerfun

    Fuck, all that CNN DOES is read twatters' feeds off of the intertubes. They don't have time to cover SPEECHES.

  10. DaRooster

    Perhaps they were being decent… you know, trying to not let her make a complete embarrassment of herself… oh yeah, it's Sarah Palin… never mind.

  11. Not_So_Much

    Looks like that last boob job isn't holding up. Better shoot a seal pup from a helicopter or something to show how much she loves her some freedoms.

  12. weejee

    How does Wonkette get all of Rebecca's emails that are supposed to be protected by Ted Stevens' intertubes? Is the Wonkette able to intercept her kneemail too, gasp!!!!11!

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    Hey RAMansour (man sour? Dyke much?), maybe they don't cover them speeches because your employer hasn't really been relevant at all since the first week of November 2008?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Doubt it. Fox probably covered it live with the "Breaking News" chryon going and fireworks 'n' shit.

  14. TanzbodenKoenig

    What kind of soulless, heartless person do you have to do to be a willing cog in that amoral political grifting machine?

      1. berkeleyfarm

        I was going to say "failed screenwriter with the burden of being overweight and unattractive in LA" but you covered it in less.

  15. MissusBarry

    Must be that adage about "no such thing as bad publicity" is true…nothing like begging for coverage of getting booed throughout a public speaking engagement. Stupid lamestream failing to allow her to bask in self-proclaimed victimization by all those scary Wisconsonites/Walker-Kock-hater/anti-Amrikan/midwesterners.

  16. OkieDokieDog

    The lamestream media also; too wasn't reporting the labor uprising in Wisconsin and in other unknown states. Politics is just so boring for these reporters now days. They know America wants more Charlie Sheen "winning" and what is Lindsay Lohan gonna wear to court reports. That is the sad state of MSM.

    And to the sad old weird woman working for Palin. It must suck to be you.

    1. SorosBot

      They are however able to cover demonstrations by crowds of dozens of teabaggers. But tens or even hundreds of thousands of protesters supporting some liberal cause like labor rights or not invading a country just for the hell of it is never news.

    2. zhubajie

      I'm a political news junky and I'm finding it hard to stomach all the weird political news out of the US these days. I can sympathize with sane people who'd rather watch pro-wrestling or go ride a bicycle or something.

  17. SayItWithWookies

    Hey @RAMansour we were just trying to find a video of her speech without so much booing — but hey we'll just run it as-is. #Yourefuckinwelcome

  18. Fare la Volpe

    Dear Ms. Rebecca,

    In order to get on the News, you have to do something News-worthy first.

    The Media

  19. Tommmcattt


    Hi @nobodyflack did you notice Sarah's all done? We cover news, ostensibly. Maybe try AARP Magazine? #callusifshedies

    1. chicken_thief

      I was trying to figure out if it was pronounced "man-sour" or "man-sore" then realized I really didn't give a shit either way.

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        She's Lebanese, just like the falafal lady Sarah thanked God for before she was against her (Andree McLeod, a Republican citizen activist that brings ethics complaints against anyone that isn't open and transparent.)

        I swear, Jamie Farr looks sexier in a dress than Becky does on her best day.

  20. emmelemm

    Re: CBS News: "I know no one watches you, but…"

    Um, I'm no expert, but usually the art of PR involves buttering up those from whom you want something… so, FAIL.

    1. GOPCrusher

      At Glenn Beck University, Marketing 101 teaches an alternative method of public relations.

  21. CapnFatback

    When will Palin learn that she has to discover speech in order for media outlets to cover it?

  22. seppdecker

    Maybe she should have step up her grifting game, hide through a number of bankruptcies, parlay her notoriety into an irritating reality tv show (again), wear a questionable hair piece and then inject herself into a presidential race.

  23. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Has anyone done an investigation to verify that Sarah Palin actually exist and is not another form of Rick-Roll?

  24. Fare la Volpe

    Seems Sarah injects all of her staffers with a healthy dose of Catty Bitch before they can work for her.

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        Former Governor Spokesman Bill McAllister still has a lasting dose two years after she quit – he threatened to slap a journalism professor, challenge him to a duel and got a restraining order taken against him by his wife – and this was just last week.

  25. horsedreamer_1

    If the Vanity Fair piece on Palin — the one from last fall, to clarify — is to be believed, Rebecca Mansour is a disgruntled Obama supporter.

    Let's hope none of the Wonketteers who have soured on Obama do like Mansour.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      I'd be a little doubtful. Seems to me that Mansour has been posting shit for Palin for quite a good while. If she was ever gruntled, she musta got over it damn early on.

    1. V572..whatever

      This is doable with currently available techmologies. You'd think anybody who'd get lipliner tattooed on wouldn't fear the plastic surgeon's knife.

      1. berkeleyfarm

        Sarah had quite a bit of work done during her disappearance when she was "writing her book" poolside in SoCal. But it was pretty subtle. She might have been cautioned against New Rack.

  26. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dear RAMansour,
    Sarah’s speeches are like fingernails on a chalkboard run through 50 Marshall stacks cranked up to 11.
    Nobody wants to hear that.
    Well, maybe Ted Nugent. Go see Ted.

  27. baconzgood

    "Funny thing about Sarah Palin. When people stop paying attention to her she just goes away"

    -Ad Exec from The Simpsons-

  28. Eve8Apples

    Wonkette asks, "What’s Grandma Palin gonna do now?"

    Some suggestions:

    I think I heard/read somewhere that Charlie Sheen's porn star girlfriends dumped him, so there's some openings there. "WINNING!!!" Mickie D's is on a hiring spree. How about Hooter girl or Wal-mart greeter? Is there a "Dancin' With the Has Beens" show? Or glue that Trig baby to her hip and go on a tour of convenience store grand openings. How about hiring a chimpanzee to type out another word salad for the teabaggers?

  29. CapnFatback

    Hi @SportsIllustrated The Palins had a touch football game at their Annual Reunion/Moose Fry/Adolescent Impregna-thon. Why did you not cover it? Todd tackled a tight end.

  30. baconzgood

    When Wonkette stops covering her inane white noise of chatter that she calls speach so we can taunt her then she truely is finished.

  31. BlueStateLibel

    Poor CBS. And that's a great way to get media coverage, by telling the media outlet, "I know you suck and no ones watch you (or reads your paper/Web site), but can you give me some coverage?"

  32. gef05

    Hi @KenLayne I noticed you didn't really cover the telephone call I made to my mom the other day. How come?

  33. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    The major networks didn't cover Sarah's speech due to a shortage of Klingon translators.

  34. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, maybe she can have a steamy love affair with that "nigras" guy. That oughtta get her back in the spotlight.

  35. neiltheblaze

    They didn't cover that moronic speech because they would have had to report that two-thirds of the audience was booing her. We wouldn't want that, now would we Becky?

  36. [redacted]hse

    I assume Mansour is referring to the Shout-Down received by Palin and Breitbart? I'm not sure why she would want that covered, but it's OK with me!

  37. PuckStopsHere

    Maybe they didn't cover it because it failed to meet the definition of, you know, NEWS. (Even though this is a remarkably low standard to meet in these times). Next time, get a mailman to take a nearby dump (failing that, this is, of course, something you could undertake on your own initiative) while your employer is publicly speaking. You won't believe how many media-hours that will burn. Problem solved…Ms. Man Sour.

  38. BaldarTFlagass

    "I don't always hang out with stupid cunts, but when I do, I hang out with Sarah Palin. Stay irrelevant, my friends."

  39. WinterOuthouse

    Sarah's staff brainstorm:

    Maybe if Tawd would go on DWTS? Maybe if Willow got caught using alcohol and illegal drugs? Bristle already shot her wad but it might work to a limited extent again to pimp her out? Maybe if Tawd's mistress got pregnant? Maybe if Track turned to teh ghey for attention? If only Piper were a bit older she could get caught in a three-way. Trig? He's no good. The retard vote isn't strong enough. How about another 'tell all' book. The book could be about Joe Miller and Lisa Murkowski being mean to Sarah…

  40. ChessieNefercat

    "But at least you can treat syphilis and it'll eventually go away. "

    Even if it doesn't, you might be better off. Tertiary syphilis? Or listening to Palin for hours and hours and hours? Hmm?

  41. prommie

    Hmmm, her flack is sending out these petulant little demands to be noticed, and in the last weekend the LA Times and the NY Times both make a point out of mentioning that they aren't reporting much on her because she is an irrelevant embarrassment. Coincidence?

  42. bordo2

    Mark my words. . .Sarah Palin will wrestle Snooki at the next Wrestlemania and she will lose when she quits halfway through the match. Rebecca Mansour will lament that only the rasslin' magazines covered the story.

  43. Sue4466

    Okay, who else is enjoying the shit out of watching Palin just fading away from the lack of attention?

    It's like Christmas in April.

    Oh, I guess that'd be Easter. Whatever. Still fun times!

    1. DemmeFatale

      I'm LOVING this! And I am looking forward to the growing desperation!
      (*rubs hands together with glee and anticipation*)

  44. DustBowlBlues

    Can't you just hear Bible Spice in the background, screeching at this Mansour woman? "Get me some attention!!! What am I paying you for???" My fellow okie, dog, is right. It must suck to be Mansour. {Off to throw up.} Turns out, finishing off the 1/4 lb of bacon and the coconut cupcakes leftover from Easter brunch didn't make me feel as happy as I thought it would. Michelle O is right.

    1. GeneralLerong

      coconut cupcakes? Ohhhh…. groan, moan….I knew I shouldn't have read that NYT article "Is Sugar Toxic?"

      Off to take a nap/eat a hole in my mattress whilst dreaming of coconut cupcakes…

    1. DangerHelvetica

      Maraca Bunco Seer
      Macabre Aeons Cur
      Amoeba Scan Recur
      Barman Accuse Roe
      Arcane Cameos Rub
      Aroma Buccaneers

  45. Chillwaver

    "Hint for Rebecca: When you insult the Lamestream Media in the same tweet that includes the begging for Lamestream media coverage, you actually do the near impossible and look even stupider than Palin herself."

    Rebeccca is definitely a PR person: Pro R*tard.

      1. Gopherit

        Strangely enough, she looks exactly like the mental picture I had after I read the tweets.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I always wondered what happened to Tiny Tim. Turns out he got transgendered and went into the PR business. Huh.

    2. Chet Kincaid

      GOOD FUCK, Steve Jobs' digestive disorder has really turned around!! What? That's gotta be him, he's making the Jobs keynote church-steeple hands.

    3. AngryGeometer

      Somewhere a science fiction convention is missing its Xena Warrior Princess fanfiction panelist.

    4. [redacted]hse

      You are a vicious bastard, imiss.
      She reminds me of the Festerbestertester and Karbunkle strip in Mad Mag, but I'm not sure which one of them she resembles the most.

      1. imissopus

        Hey, I don't take the pictures, I just post 'em.

        Over on the Gabby Giffords thread someone posted this link to the Immoral Majority:

        Some of the people over there are pretty vicious, but one said something smart: if it's what's inside that counts, and RAM is a diehard Snowbilly mouthpiece, then who cares about her external looks?

        Also I may just be in an irritable mood these days, but after the festival of insanity that descended on this place last week, I'm not particularly willing to cut any Palin partisans any slack.

  46. Guppy06

    Because, unlike American hero Grady Warren, she hasn't announced her candidacy yet.

    What was she doing outside of the kitchen, anyway?

    1. berkeleyfarm

      My working theory is that she has a big crush on Sarah. But, yeah, it's easy to be Oz from behind the curtain.

  47. MiniMencken

    Mansour. That's an Arab name, isn't it? I'd like to see her birth certificate as well.

  48. Terry

    Sarah's being booked on next season's Apprentice at this very moment. She and The OctoMom will be in the final.

  49. ttommyunger

    Well, I don't know about CNN, but Wonkette sure covers her every time she has a loose bowel movement or cuts a wet one; unless they're covering the Trumptser.

  50. JackObin

    Hey great. Another Sarah Palin "speech". I assume there was alot of drooling, scowling and downright illiteracy.

  51. Mort_Sinclair

    The only way Sarah Lou will get any real lamestream media coverage these days is if she turns up pregnant and in labor–tomorrow.

    1. Refudiation

      My thoughts exactly. I can almost hear the screams of "hit me like a snowmachine, Truckmonkey!" from my house.

  52. Redhead

    HuffPo is basically the Sarah Palin of blogs: past its prime, pointless, and failing at its one mission: to make as much money as possible with as little effort as possible, while saying whatever will make the most money.

  53. keepem_sikanpor

    I'm sure this has been done by someone already but even if I write it down to remember after reading the comments, I'll have forgotten.
    Sad Sarah
    You are the dagger in US of America's heart
    Try to change
    You miserable cunt.
    Can't wait 'til you're gone
    And living in the house Todd built
    You miserable cunt
    Fuck you:)

  54. chascates

    The reason the 'lamestream media' didn't cover her speech is because Palin's audience only watches Fox News. Overtures to the BBC, The New Yorker, and the Christian Science Monitor would also fall on deaf ears.

  55. LetUsBray

    I can't see the most interesting man in the world getting with the least interesting woman in the world.

  56. Negropolis


    Really, I don't have any snark for this. I mean, this is Palin's official PR person acting like a total douchebag. I guess it's the only way they know how to communicate. They have to know that this isn't how normal people communicate when they are at work, right?

  57. fitley

    Looks like someone is going to be twitter twatting their fingers down to nubs hoping to get Snow Snooki some press.
    Sing Along: Ya Twitter Twat your fingers to the bone, what d'ya get?
    Boney Fingers, yup, Boney Fingers

  58. tessiee

    "she’s got her press aide sending these desperate tweets begging the blogs and television networks to cover Sarah’s latest spill of word salad. "

    In addition to all the millions of other things she's never heard of, Silly Sarah has apparently never heard the saying, "Beware of what you wish for".

  59. snicker snack

    Dear Ken,
    I understand that these Palin pieces are like actual money to you. I really do. If I promise to click on a billion gay men ads (because believe me, I will gladly do that, even though I prefer my porn to include the ladies) will you please stop posting about Sarah fucking Palin? Pretty please with a blow job on top?

    Lots of love,
    snicker snack

  60. petroddy

    We hear so little of the Snowgrifter here in Alaska these days. She's like a bad dream, or that girl you chewed your arm off to avoid waking.

  61. lulzmonger

    @MSNBC you totes suck ass & yr mom dresses u funny – plz cover my boss's latest speech? #huffingpaintchipsagain

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