EDUCATION  2:40 pm April 21, 2011

Chuck Grassley’s Latest Twitter Neologism: ‘Person-Anal Questions’

by Jack Stuef

Health class
Very good person-anal questions. [Twitter]

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Hola wonkerados.

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GunToting[Redacted] April 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm

I don't even know where to begin.

LowProfileinGA April 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Perhaps at the anus; go up from there.

DaRooster April 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Or down…

CalamityJames April 21, 2011 at 3:00 pm

…and then back up real quick, yeah, now slowly back down halfway.

Excuse me.

johnnymeatworth April 21, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Well, the concept of "downfisting" just got a whole lot sexier….

undeterredbyreality April 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Clearly you have to begin at the end.

JoeBiteme April 21, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I've heard it's best to pretend like you're pooping.

LetUsBray April 21, 2011 at 10:05 pm

For starters, you'll want to use plenty of water-based lube.

Barb April 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Typical Grassley "back door" politician.

Badonkadonkette April 21, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Chuck Assley

DaRooster April 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm


BaldarTFlagass April 21, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Were they asking about fisting? How is that handled by the government? Does that apply to both anal and vaginal fisting, or just anal? My guess is that it's anal at a federal level, and the states decide for vaginal.

Limeylizzie April 21, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Excuse me, I think I decide for vaginal.

petehammer April 21, 2011 at 7:31 pm

State's Rights!

harry_palmer April 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Twatted from the Council Bluffs Reg'l Aeroport men's room.

TheStalinist April 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm

How wide is his stance?

rambone April 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I wonder if anyone ever called him Chuck Ass-ley. Oh, I guess I just did.

DaRooster April 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Sounds like a "Goat-Boy" bit… a bit.

HempDogbane April 21, 2011 at 7:13 pm

There was a Senator named Chuck Assley, he made a Tweet, it was ghastly…

Nick Lowe is the best.

Sue4466 April 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm

It's the anal process questions that'll get you in the end.

Boredw/Gravitas April 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Were the person-anal questions about the legles kiod from last week? Would someone just take the tiny keyboard away from grandpa?

BZ1 April 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Chuckie, didn't I warn you what happens when you tamper with that infernal box?

BarackMyWorld April 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Chuck, you can't bitched about the limited number of characters on twitter posts, then start adding letters unnecessarily. Idiot.

ArmoredBore April 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Word. I've seen better spelling in World of Warcraft's trade chat.

harry_palmer April 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Similar to what non-students ask, as in "Will you get the fuck away from me, you creepy old perv?"

BZ1 April 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Upfists for everyone, except the Chuckmeister…

weejee April 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Grassley is an olde so it is not surprising he would be talking about anal processing, but greatly surprised the kids are into poop processing. Poop yes, but not the processing – for them the elementary canal is not a problem.

BTW, Mrs weejee and I have a pact that if and when we start incessant talking about poop processing we will kill each other.

RunnyRose April 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Usually, person-anal questions are asked by licensed analrapists.

petehammer April 21, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Um, I think Grassley's qualified. Haven't you read his book… "The Man Inside Me"?

elviouslyqueer April 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

"personanal and process Qs" = Top or power bottom?

Texan_Bulldog April 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Not sure how they roll in IA (Land of the Cornholers), but I would just surmise that any anal question is also a personal question.

CalamityJames April 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Oh shut the fuck up with the tweeting already, you fucking daft cunt.

SorosBot April 21, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Forgetting the personanal questions, what the fuck is Msnly supposed to abbreviate/misspell? Muslin-y?

poncho_pilot April 21, 2011 at 3:38 pm


CalamityJames April 21, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Uh, I think that's supposed to be Iowa.

axmxz April 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Grassley's agenda for the day: see the rapist.

edgydrifter April 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Growling Anus, Hidden Salami: The Life and Times of Charles Grassley

bumfug April 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Why is everyone hung up on the "person anal" and ignoring him when he admits to being "pro cess?" Who the fuck is in favor of cess? They have pools for that shit!

CliveWarren April 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I bet the Qs were very directal but Cuck Arseley anuswered them easily.

Clancy_Pants April 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Keep this up Senator and you'll get on the sexual predator list. Then you won't be able to have town-halls in schools.

Hey LeadPaintChips, here's what I think of you downfisting trolls.

Extemporanus April 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm

"I'll take 'Anal Bum Cover' for 7000."

Rosie_Scenario April 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Grassley is the Living End. Or Dying End.

EdFlintstone April 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm

So who is more stupid, Grassley for putting out these tweets or the morons who sign up to get them?

elviouslyqueer April 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm


undeterredbyreality April 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I bet if the only evidence you had was Jack's Tweeter "following" list, you'd be pretty sure he's a moran teatard, maybe even the leader of them.

widestanceroman April 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I have no idea what that meant, it's all Greek to me.

widestanceroman April 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm

At least he spelled 'county' right.

nounverb911 April 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm

I can just imagine the tweets when Grassley gets his annual colonoscopy.

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Next thing you know he'll be giving up on gay men.

nounverb911 April 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Larry Craig will be disappointed.

OurHoboSenator April 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I just got down-fisted. Or is that too person-anal to discuss on Wonkette?

UpFistTroll April 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

This guy is the best Dadaist of all time.

GodShammgod April 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm

I'm guessing that since Grassley is a hick who buggers farm animals, "person-anal" questions differ from "animal-anal" questions. Republican perverts have a system, you know.

Trinket April 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I can't believe his PR team hasn't forbidden him to tweet his own tweets. Forbidden him FROM tweeting his own tweets? Forbidden him…oh, fuck it.

Limeylizzie April 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm

So help me, I adore Chuckles.

DustBowlBlues April 21, 2011 at 3:31 pm

This is the part where I go do something useful. I give up. I just fucking give up. Is it wrong for me to wish for a toilet so large that the entire Republitard party can be flushed down it at the same time?

UpFistTroll April 21, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Grassley is one of the few who I actually find genuinely amusing, because gorrammit, he's trying SO HARD to use this hip Twitter thing.

horsedreamer_1 April 21, 2011 at 3:35 pm

The Iowa Supremes have all the resulting santorum on their hands.

EatsBabyDingos April 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Makes me glad my family is FROM Iowa.

EatsBabyDingos April 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Anal birther. Without toilet paper.

Gopherit April 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Chuck, learn the lesson of catholic priests working in schools across the country. Leave processing the anal questions for the sacristy. That's where all the wine and secrets are kept.

OneYieldRegular April 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm

And on top of it all, a 45? This is high school! All other things aside, these kids aren't even of legal drinking age. Surely this is worse than anything for which George Michael has ever been arrested.

SorosBot April 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Considering how old and out of touch Grassley is, I figured by 45 he meant a record single. To the Wonkette youngs (this means you, Riley) that's what we used to call an MP3 of just one song.

zhubajie April 21, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Take it for granted that they are drinking and fucking often. Probably at the same keggers.

FlownOver April 21, 2011 at 4:11 pm

'Tain't funny, I tells ya!

MinAgain April 21, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Don't send this tweet to Tennessee basket o' homophobic crazy Senator Stacey Campfield, or he'll file another piece of legislation to forbid mentioning anything anal in public schools.

MinAgain April 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Sen. Campfield, did you just downfist me? Dude, you are so in the closet.

mavenmaven April 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Once upon a time, there was a Professor Freud who had an interesting view about errors like this…

pinkocommi April 21, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Someone alert me when Assley leaves out the "L" in the word "public."

It is only a matter of time.

hagajim April 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm

So were they asking him personal questions about anal? Or were they questions about what process they needed to follow so he and his Koch loving friends could give them anal? I'm so confused.

MissTaken April 21, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Ok, let me get this straight: 45 Msnly (derpity derp derp?) students asked good questions about anal processes. What exactly would a "bad" question about anal process be?

And why are high school students asking a US Senator about anal? Isn't that what YouPorn and RedTube are for?

Guppy06 April 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Are anuses now able to make political contributions under Citizen's United?

Does the life of an anus begin at conception?

Gleem_McShineys April 21, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Damn! The human-anal hybrids that George W. Bush was warning us about are here!

CapnFatback April 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm

"Process," of course, is Iowaspeak for "animal anal."

BlueStateLibel April 21, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Somebody needs to get grandpa off the computer machine, it's getting really embarrassing.

DashboardBuddha April 21, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Oh dear.

ttommyunger April 21, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Boxers or Briefs? Skidmarks $5 extra. I don't even know what that means.

SudsMcKenzie April 22, 2011 at 6:13 am

Telme 'bout ur chldhood Chk

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