Sexy Republican rebel and multi-millionaire Gary Johnson used to be governor of New Mexico and love marijuana and climbed past all those frozen dead bodies to reach Mt. Everest like many rich thrill-seekers have paid to do, and that’s why he’s running for president with a very maverick-y platform of raising the retirement age for working people so that they work until death, which many have to do anyway, so who cares, right? Also, assuming he wins the presidency, which is what we’re assuming here, he will destroy Medicare and Medicaid and veto everything except for all Republican legislation about the uterus and what government authority is in charge of the national collective uterus.
Maverick! It takes a bold maverick-y multi-millionaire to stand up and take away health care and a few years of dignified retirement from hundreds of millions of American people. But he can do it! Assuming he’s elected, of course. But if not him, every other Republican or Democrat running for president will take care of this, worry not. Worry not! [AP/MSNBC]
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'Bout time someone tossed a Johnson into the race with all the other dicks.
'Scuse me while I whip this out.
Meh, keep your Johnson out of our "collective uterus" and we will get along just fine.
I think Gary Johnson is actually enough of a libertarian that he is principlied pro-choice. You'll probably still have to pay for your own rape-kit though. No freeloaders.
Rape is merely one person's self-interest trumping another's. Survival of the fittest.
At least we can all be in a marijuana haze for the end of the Republic, should Gijit ("Gidget") win.
Johnson/His Johnson 2012!
Other than the maryjane shit and actually hiking and climbing mountains as opposed to schtupping his Argentinian mistress, how is he different from any other goddamn politician right now?
He's not. But given he was New Mexico governor, we know he won't win. See also: Richardson, Bill.
Good god, another randroid
At least he isn't a hemorrhoid.
there's a difference between the two?
Hemorrhoids don't talk and can eventually heal
But he also wants to legalize pot, a great platform for alienating Republican primary voters and getting attention from Stoners who will never actually make it to the polls anyway, as proven in California in 2010.
So how many now are 'interested' in running? Two dozen?
I don't think he can beat Mittens on the sexy scale, or The Donald on the arrogant assholey scale, or Huckabutt on the bible humpin' scale – so this guy is a loser already.
I'm not voting for anyone until they just admit they hate women.
Or at least women's ladyparts.
Thanks to this article I finally get it-
Repugs want to protect ALL fetuses (fetai?), especially the ones in the poverty level, because poors are sicker than richers and the medicine can be worked off in free labor for the corporations. However they will have swim to Indo-China or wherever the jobs are this month.
Fetus. The plural of fetus is fetus.
Oh please, like we'd ever have a "President Johnson."
Please show me your gall bladder scar.
http://tumblr.austinkleon.com/post/55812038/david...
& your opposition to Reconstruction!
Our nation has been presided by two Johnsons, & many, many Dicks. (Not just R. M. Nixon.)
I think we've already had a couple of President Johnsons, and I ain't just talking about Andrew Johnson (may he rot in hell) and LBJ.
Destroy Medicare? Big Pants-on-Fire, there, Ken. Johnson's just gonna transform Medicare into a defined contribution plan. The contribution will be a Big Bag o' Weed for all the Olds.
Exactly. Weed for all = substitute for healthcare! At least as we're dying, we'll be happier and in less pain.
What, Jack Black & Kyle Gass, in their Tenacious D personae, will run Medicare? ("Smokin' up a big ass bag o' weed, he & KG…")
So, instead of cutting off my Johnson, this Johnson is going to cut off my Medicare? Fuck your sympathy! I don't need your sympathy, man, I need my fucking Medicare!
The next Republican convention is going to have more candidates than delegates.
That's consistent with their rallies, which tend to have more photographers than attendees.
Gotta hand it to the Republicans. In 2008, the established, xtian neo-cons dominated the top spots of their field. Now, those neo-cons are dark horses compared to the batshit insane teabagging water carriers. They've finally learned to play to their base.
Someone hold me.
Not actually OT: But apparently there's apparently major DRAMAZ over some of the views mentioned Glennzilla's profile in Out (including some glowing things said about Gary Johnson) , which led to a pretty substantial takedown by some Kos blogger here.
Ordinarily, I wouldn't care, but that immigration piece they dredged up really does alter my perception of Glennzilla. I knew he was myopically single-issue, and rather politically dumb, but that piece really does seem to come out of
leftright field.Johnson + Invisible Hand = Jobs
Johnson= Invisible Hand-Jobs?
Well, in that case, sign me up.
Vote "Libertarian Stranger" in 2012!
Your move, Herman Cain.
If not for weed, Godfather's Pizza would have had about 90% fewer sales, so the Stuffed
CrustSuit can totally get behind legalizing it.Damn it! Mount Everest only takes the good ones.
Suggested slogan:
What Would You Rather Have: Healthcare or Weed?
Cue landslide victory.
His biggest problem is that two-thirds of Americans think that New Mexico is a foreign country.
Bart Maverick or Brett Maverick would be my preference.
Of course Beau was British, so he wouldn't be eligible.
good news: he also favors "loosening up" child labor laws because, sez he, current child labor laws make it illegal for an old man to pay a kid to fix his computer. that is the literal horsecrap argument he made. so hang child labor laws! send the youth and their tiny hands into the bowels of new mexico's uranium mines, chop chop!
Repeal the Republican prescription benefit law? That's just crazy talk!
I want the social conservatives to be as explicit as Randy Paul Ryan. What else needs repealing besides child labor laws, what ever amendment it was the freed the slaves, laws against rape and incest, air and water pollution, manslaughter (accidental in the course of business). In fact, as was noted earlier today, Satan has said that "Doing only whatever is pleasing to myself is the only law." or words to that effect. Lets see what all that would cover.
Jeezey-Peezey, if the fucking bar gets any lower Peewee Herman will be in the race. 'Course, I'd actually vote for him.
I was just about to say "Will kill SS & Medicare" sounds like just about every politician, at the moment. BTW, I literally have no idea who Gary Johnson is, and he has the most generic American name you can think of, just about. He might as well be named John Doe for all I care.
X is much too cool for the GOP.
Just looked up this guy and found out his dad was a public school teacher and his mother worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs. You have got to be kidding me. Not only were both his parents public sector workers, but his mother worked for the fucking Feds for goodness sake. His comfortable upbringing was the result of two-working parents working in the public sector.
What a cad.
Not to mention New Mexico, given all the DOE presence, has to be in the same ballpark as Alaska in terms of Fed dollars received vs. dollars paid to Fed.
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