maybe 2012 really is the end of the world

Poll: Republicans Suicidally Depressed With Their Lame Candidates

Yeah we did that too!We are deep into the first year of the 2012 campaign — haha, only 18 more months to go! — and already the Republican Base is so depressed and disgusted by their awful slate of candidates that some experts believe the GOP won’t be able to get anyone to the polls, because of mass suicide and intentional Hoveround-Rascal collisions. This is what happened to Jesus’ dinosaurs, according to the Bible! And we all know that, according to both the bible and many popular comic books and soap operas, that history repeats and repeats. As Alan Keyes said, “Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.” He was right, too. (RIP Alan Keyes.) But what about these Republican candidates? Why are they so awful? Why is the jabbering buffoon Mike Huckabee the only one of the dozen or so “major candidates” seen favorably by even half of Republican voters? Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class middle-aged white people in America?

The dullards — Pawlenty, Barbour, etc. — are literally unknown to all but a tiny fraction of Republican voters. Jon Huntsman, whoever he is? 90% of GOP supporters say they don’t even know who he is. But when it comes to the venal multi-millionaire celebrity who exploits and defrauds the most desperate of the working-class white people in America, name recognition is not the problem. It’s just that people despise Palin, and not even a majority of Republicans can even cough up a “favorable opinion” of the Quitter from Wasilla.

From the NYT/CBS poll released this morning:

Sarah Palin, the one-time vice-presidential candidate and former governor of Alaska — who is a regular on Fox News, which the survey said was the television news network most watched by Republicans — is the best known of the possible candidates, according to the poll. She is viewed the least favorably by the general public: Twice as many respondents over all said they had an unfavorable view of her (55 percent) as said they had a favorable view (26 percent).

But her standing among Republican respondents was the polar opposite: About half of Republicans said they viewed her favorably; 26 percent said they viewed her unfavorably.

Are the Republicans already giving up? If so, it almost ensures a “consensus loser” like Pawlenty will get the nomination, so he can “lose with dignity” or whatever. They won’t let a nutter take it, probably? So maybe they will have a fun Ross Perot kind of split that will demoralize the party for a decade, like it did to them in the 1990s.

Other polls, of course, show that the entire American electorate has only heard of a single alleged candidate, vulgar bigot Donald Trump. So, uhh …. [NYT}

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Nobody/Unknown 2012!

    • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

      I'll take what's behind door #3, Monte!

    • not that Dewey

      Don't blame me; I voted for Unknown.

  • nounverb911

    "Republicans Suicidally Depressed With Their Lame Candidates"
    Good. Just don't hit anyone when you jump out the window.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Kids play in the streets, and they may inadvertently walk into the path of a despondent Teabagger as he's tumbling to his death, resulting in a very unfortunate situation (dead kid, crushed by a falling Teabagger who survived, cushioned by the child's soft but fragile body.)

      No, I'd much rather the Teabagger just hop into an empty bathtub and drown in a warm pool of his own spit and bile.

    • tessiee

      "Just don't hit anyone when you jump out the window. "

      Except bankers and CEOs.

      • Jukesgrrl

        The closest teabaggers get to bankers is when they withdraw money from their Christmas clubs and the closest they get to CEOs is when they're opening up mail paid for by the Kochs.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Now they know how we feel.

  • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

    Maybe the Republicans will run "None Of The Above" like in that horrible SF book written by that horrible SF author.*

    * Note: not LRon

    • baconzgood

      I'm Voting for Montey Brewster!

  • GregComlish

    ITS TRUE. IFE WE DONT STOP THE RINOS WE WILL END UP LIKE THE DINOS! NEWT GINGRICH IS A SEXUAL TYRRANOSAUR

    • trondant

      You know, I never thought of that, but his arms are freakishly stunted. It's gotta be hard getting panties off with nothing but little stumps to work with.

      Still, he manages.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    It is time for US America to take a new direction from new leadership. Not up nor down, but forever twirling twirling towards freedom where some people can have little US America flags while others can have all the abortions they want.

    Kang/Kodos 2012

    • DarkStar_88

      Frankly, at this point that would probably require a "national divorce" that has a 90% chance of ending in utter disaster.

    • baconzgood

      "End Communication"

    • genxr

      Set coordinates for "Bob Dole."

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Huckaboob/Whaley 2012. "Nincompoops are people, too, also."

  • guangho

    Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class middle-aged white people in America?

    You mean Enron wasn't staunchly pro-life? Haliburton won't build a danged fence? Dole fruits won't gas the queers? Surely someone loves me!

    • Badonkadonkette

      Dude, are you kidding? I've seen dead worms with more self-awareness than Republicans.

      • guangho

        I sure hope those were dead Muslim worms so you can get a congressional medal of honor for freedom.

    • genxr

      Nah, they just don't understand why the only people willing to take up and defend their positions publicly are a bunch of nutters and nincompoops. Why aren't the scientists all extolling the virtues of objectivism? Must be an elitist conspiracy.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Having just read that awful and terrifying post about Scott Kocher, and being plum out of snark at the mo, I'll just say two things here, to my fellow Wonketteers: first, back in 1990, George H.W. Bush was all, "William Jefferson who?" And second, Keyes probably never said anything that profound, but if he had, he'd have been right, for just that one time in his sad little life. Apathy/antipathy toward Gore (Ralph fucking Nader, really?) got us W., which got us Alito and Roberts, which got us Citizens United and the guns for everybody, due process for nobody cases.

    Bammers '12.

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      It was actually the Spanish philosopher George Santayana, but I like to put profound things in the mouths of imbeciles, for lolz.

      • Badonkadonkette

        Santayana? I thought it was Mel, the cook on Alice.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Well, he really shredded it on "Soul Sacrifice" at Woodstock.

  • baconzgood

    Today we are all worthless unknown Republican candidates running in 2012.

    • GOPCrusher

      "Who am I? Why am I here?"

  • GregComlish

    Obama is the New Reagan. Hip-Hip-Hooray!

    • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

      It's mourning in America.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well he is, kinda. (Hip-Hop-Hooray?)

  • memzilla

    Pawlenty 2012 = Dukakis 1988? I like this equation, but I'm sorry I don't know the polynomial expression for "short-fingered vulgarian."

    • poncho_pilot

      i think it's something like A = A.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Are the Republicans already giving up? If so, it almost ensures a “consensus loser” like Pawlenty will get the nomination, so he can “lose with dignity” or whatever. They won’t let a nutter take it, because they don’t want to cause a Ross Perot kind of split that will demoralize the party for a decade, like it did to them in the 1990s.

    That kind of assumes a certain level of rationality on the part of the republican electorate. I mean, I guess there's a first time for everything, but I wouldn't put money on it is what I'm saying.

    • DarkStar_88

      They're actually more honest than the Dems on this.

    • GOPCrusher

      At least Mondale won Minnesota, so that gives Pawlenty something to shoot for.

  • nounverb911

    Needs more republicans in tanks.

  • Rev_Lemonjello

    I'd be dissatisfied as well if I had to wait for the 2028 ticket of Pierce Bush / Iowa's Benjamin Johnson.

  • Callyson

    They're holding out for a Chuck Norris/Victoria Jackson ticket. Which would be neither amusing nor action – packed, but it would be less depressing than Mittens and Co.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Simon Cowell as a judge?

  • DeeJayKitteh

    We've been disgusted with their candidates for decades. Glad they finally joined the party.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Poll: Republicans Suicidally Depressed With Their Lame Candidates

    HURRAY!

    P.S. You don't have to kill yourselves, Repukes. Just Go Galt!, already!

    How can we miss you if you're not gone???
    ~

    • trumpbly_joe

      Republicans threatening to go Galt is like the asshole wino at my favorite dive bar threatening to take his business elsewhere:

      a) Seriously, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

      b) As though you'd ever stop coming back. Seriously, just stop threatening and do it, already!

      • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

        Truer words were never spoken… and as the populations of the red states go down, since they're the biggest parasites on the United States, the budget situation should improve drastically.

        • DustBowlBlues

          And it would do wonders for Oklahoma. This is such a beautiful dream, my eyes are growing misty, just thinking of all the dead neighbors we'd have.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But if they want to kill themselves, I'm not stopping them.

      (Reduction in unemployment, uptick in funerals & mortuary biz; green shoots!)

  • harry_palmer

    Don't worry, they'll find a new shiny package to wrap their same old turd in by 2012, and ramp up the fear, racism and hatred to make it semi close.

    • Geminisunmars

      Most plausible scenario, if'n we're still not dead from radiation poisoning.

    • Limeylizzie

      Chris Christie/Chris Christie's Turd 2012

      • tessiee

        Turd/Christie has a better chance.

  • SorosBot

    1964 then.

  • Goonemeritus

    "Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class middle-aged white people in America? "

    Not until the average Rush listener comes home and to find Exxon/Mobil literally screwing their wife.

    • LouBristol

      "'Trickle down'. Heard of it?"

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      I think that might cause a sense of relief, more than anything.

      • Goonemeritus

        I think it would be the passionate cries of “DRILL BABY DRILL” that would break their little hearts.

        • bagofmice

          That's right baby… Open up your ANWR.

  • BobSalem
    • baconzgood

      How can I be a hypocrite? I'm not Alec Balwin. Although I did like him in Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.

      • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

        Teatards are just mad that celebrities like Baldwin didn't make their money the real Republican Objectivist way: by lying, cheating, stealing, exploiting, and generally fucking over everybody they possibly can, in order to advance their own rational self-interest. Instead, they used this hideous thing called "talent" to get ahead.

        • baconzgood

          Either way. I'd like Bob to break me off some of what he's on. I wonder what color the sky is in his world.

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            The color of Puke

      • GOPCrusher

        I'm still waiting for Boss Limbaugh to move to Costa Rica, like he promised if health care reform became the law of the land.
        But then, Costa Rica has nationalized health care and no military. Maybe elRushbo should have done his research before he shot his mouth off.

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      I'm a celebrity?

      WHO KNEW

    • poncho_pilot

      Miss Gulch: Gale?
      Uncle Henry Gale: Well, howdy, Miss Gulch.
      Miss Gulch: I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy!
      Uncle Henry Gale: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
      Miss Gulch: What she's done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!
      Uncle Henry Gale: Oh! You mean she bit you?
      Miss Gulch: No, her dog!
      Uncle Henry Gale: Oh, she bit her dog, eh?
      Miss Gulch: No!

    • glamourdammerung

      Speaking of hypocrites, I recall you claiming that there was a certain unedited "ACORN sting" video available online. Yet you "forgot" to link it and apparently no search engines have it (because they are in on the conspiracy too).

      So, care to back up your earlier unproven claim?

      • Gopherit

        Really, expecting him to provide evidence of anything will only result in silence. Bob cares not for facts.

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Are you suggesting Santorum should bring his dead campaign home and make his children hug it?

    • loulouroo

      beautiful. tears coming out of my eyes, I'm laughing so hard.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      This was sheer comic genius. Brilliant.

  • baconzgood

    Ahhhh, They were just going to show a close up of the rod.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Klan/Westboro '12!!! We need a unity ticket, and we ain't buyin' no partial crazy!

  • SorosBot

    To depressed Republicans, remember that alcohol is a great treatment for depression. Go to your local bar and have as much as you can; since most of you hard-core wingnuts live in rural or exurban areas, you'll have to drive, but don't, you're all great drivers no matter how much you've had.

  • arihaya

    oh come on they must be kidding… they have been voting for lame presidential candidates since 1980s…

    cough ~Ronald Raygun~ cough

  • $exy$murf
    • SorosBot

      Who?

    • Moonbatting Average

      Have you ever governed a flyover state… on weeeeed?

    • AJW@[redacted]

      Way to go after the Libertarian votes, Daniels!

  • Moonbatting Average

    Given this state of affairs, Rick Perry would be stupid not to run. He'd probably do really well.

    Except for the "looking like a bitter old queen" part.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Oh, Trolly McDownfister, you're as impotent as your "dad."

    • LabRodent

      which also happens to be his uncle.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "Buk-buk" means "retarded" in Hawaiian. Neil and Jeb Bush are available, and have name recognition.

    "Bush-bush" would then mean "retarded and forgetful, on steroids"

    • tessiee

      I'm not sure exactly how, but somehow, you're persecuting Trig.

  • V572..whatever

    The outlook is good for a third-party candidate to further split the vote. Mr Trump, I believe this is your moment!

    • GOPCrusher

      I believe this is great news for Lyndon LaRouche!

  • nounverb911

    Neither will his bridges.

    • tessiee

      TOO SOON!!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Ren & Stimpy have the perfect Republican candidate.

    "What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
    Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
    What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
    It's Log, Log, Log!

    It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
    It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
    Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
    Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP0kWqJJZa4&fe

    • baconzgood

      FUCKIN' AWSOM!!!!! The only way to get a higher up fist from Baconz is if you referenced Pete & Pete.

    • loulouroo

      I think Pawlenty has already thrown his hat in the ring, no?

    • genxr

      Log/Happy Helmet '12!

      • tessiee

        Terrence/Phillip '12!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    And, I guess, today we are all Inanimate Carbon Rod.

  • Weenus299

    Dole-Kemp '96!

  • baconzgood

    THAT'S ALL LIBURAL LIEZ!!!!!! THE ONLY NEWZ SOURCE WORTH IT'S SALT IS THEBLAZE!!!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Just remember that they also worship Jesus, don't need to understand tides, and think arrogance is an asset.

  • Mumbletypeg

    Is it schaden that freuds itself, as someone here has posted — when RUN-DMC pops into one's head at the mention of GOP prospect woes?

    Now Herman Cain tossed pepperoni
    But could not rhyme;
    Michael Steele fell down,
    That’s his hard time.
    Michelle Bachmann wasn’t nimble,
    But she was thick;
    Sareh Lou heard a “Whoo!”
    When she swallowed Beck's dick
    Now Ron Paul Peep cold lost his sheep
    And Huck- “Carbo Coma”-bee fell asleep
    While Barbour did devour all of Wonderland
    And Huntsman’s got Mitten-Puppets on each hand;
    Pro-life pipers watch Phelps violate without a sound;
    No-neck Christie gonna wobble when he can’t sit down

    (cont’d >>)

    • Mumbletypeg

      With hubris that’d make King Midas wilt
      Everything Trump’d touch he smears with gilt.
      Dickless Armey’s “freedom” works against fellow men
      Made a ranter out of Cantor, loosed Kyl’s bullsh*t from its pen-
      Then Mitch McC’ stealth-gooses Boener –“Better blow your nose..”
      Word is, Mitch Daniels can take a toke between his toes
      (Now that’s the greatest of the bait — get it straight, he’s great!)
      While T-Paw’s name is hardly known in any state…
      Brewer/Angle for the mangling of justice served;
      Steve & Peter fight to stay King of their mouth-breathing herds
      Newt the butcher, baker, citizen-savant-faker
      Drank all the cake batter, cheating every undertaker-
      It’s no lie y'all, they’re the worse I know
      And if I lie, Cheney’s nose will grow
      Like the opportunist plumber named Sam til it was ‘Joe’
      But we already knew how that story’d go~

      • Mumbletypeg

        Tricks done by Dick’s – yes there’s been a spate
        But these others, née Koch, they mine fear & hate.
        They’re the big bad wolves down to make a killin
        Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning ILLin

        I hope that peps up the crestfallen Repubs a little.

  • DahBoner

    Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class

    No.

    Why are they so awful? Why is the jabbering buffoon Mike Huckabee the only one of the dozen or so “major candidates” seen favorably by even half of Republican voters?

    Because it doesn't matter how "awful" any Republican candidate is to Republican voters.

    Just as long as they provoke their fear-based brain centers and vow to protect them from the scary Black/Gay/Mexican/Low-Income Mothers/Immigrants…

    In fact, the dumber they are the better.

    Golly, this guy seems just like me. I like 'em…

  • PalinPussyPower

    Don't they have a brown fella from Louisiana they can prop up? Throw in one of those ladies as VP to help decorate and prepare meals while on the campaign trail?

    • hagajim

      Jindal/Hayley 2012…the all Indian ticket. Why not, we've outsourced everything else to India (or China)

  • CalamityJames

    "Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades…"

    No, there just hasn't been a candidate to say "Get that nigger out of the White House!" Its coming though.

  • DarkStar_88

    It goes both ways. I heard promises for everything from leaving the nation to armed revolt when Obama was about to win, and NONE of them were followed up on. None.

  • OkieDokieDog

    FetusJar Bush/ Trigger Palin 2012

    ARe CHilruN R Are FUTuRws1!!!!

    • tessiee

      Cletus Santorum could be Secretary of State.

  • MinAgain

    Republican voters don't care that they're being taken for a ride, because they all think they have a business class ticket.

  • BobSalem

    the truth is not something to hate and Snopes is great, they have no bias. The only truth Obummer has proved about his birth and life is he will continue to spend millions to hide his past. Even you should be asking why instead of simply closing your eyes.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      So this page must be totally full of shit, right?

      • BobSalem

        No one is interested in a certification of live birth that can be altered and/or changed. Where is the BIRTH CERTIFICATE? Why has Obummer spent millions hiding his past when providing the proof would have ended all this years ago?

        • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

          A certificate of live birth is a birth certificate, and no amount of attempting to redefine the truth will change that fact. It is what it is. This one has the seal, a proper certificate number, and a signature. The majority of states in the Union do not have procedures in place for public release of so-called "long form" birth certificates, Hawaii included. You have no (non-wingnut) proof that Obama has spent one dime trying to "hide" anything. And none of this will matter, because you've already made up your "mind" and even if you were presented with a declaration engraved in marble by Ronald Reagan himself stating that Obama was born in the United States, you would not believe it.

          Further communication with you is impossible. You do not discuss; you gibber. This was, however, useful in that it advanced my Objectivist goal of furthering my own rational self-interest, in that I thought it would be amusing. Good day.

          • tessiee

            "none of this will matter, because you've already made up your "mind" and even if you were presented with a declaration engraved in marble by Ronald Reagan himself stating that Obama was born in the United States, you would not believe it."

            This.
            At a certain point, this kind of discussion becomes unsatisfying, because no matter what kind of documentation you provide, the other person then argues that it's photoshopped, or a staged photo, or cherry picked information, or from a biased site, or that that's not what they meant by "proof". Hell, keep it going long enough and they'll tell you that you hallucinated the whole discussion. Saying that "my mind is made up and I'm bound and determined not to change it" has the same ultimate outcome and is a lot less frustrating.

        • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

          Did you want Arnold Schwartzneggar to be prez instead?

          • BobSalem

            AHnorld is nothing but another libtardian puke.

        • SorosBot

          That is a birth certificate, dumbass.

          • BobSalem

            more lies, what a suprise!

            •Only the Certificate of Live Birth (the one Obama did not produce) is considered an "original birth certificate." (read the Homeland website)
            •"A person born in a foreign country who has been legally adopted in the State of Hawaii," is eligible to apply for an amended birth certificate. (Read the Health website)
            •"Although original birth certificates (Certificates of Live Birth) are preferred for their greater detail, the State Department of Health (DOH) no longer issues Certificates of Live Birth.When a request is made for a copy of a birth certificate, the DOH issues a Certification of Live Birth." (Read the homeland web site)
            http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2011/04/impor

          • SorosBot

            And you just proved yourself wrong, congratulations! You really are demanding that he produce the original certificate from fucking 1961? That was fifty years ago; really, what do you think the odds are that after fifty years the original document still exists?

          • tessiee

            "No one is interested in a certification of live birth that can be altered and/or changed."

            "Only the Certificate of Live Birth (the one Obama did not produce) is considered an "original birth certificate.""

            Not that anyone still cares at this point, but:
            Would it be asking too much of you to make up your mind? It's one thing to put forth arguments that are idiotic, and quite another to put forth arguments two posts apart that *directly contradict each other*.

            Ass.

          • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

            It's astonishing, isn't it? There has to be an episode of NOVA or something that investigates this level of thickness.

            It says "CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH" right up there at the very top. This is what was produced. A Certificate of Live Birth. The one that he JUST SAID that it is the only thing considered an "original birth certificate". RIGHT THERE. RIGHT FUCKING THERE. I don't know how much clearer this can be made. This is a basic transitive rule of logic. If A = B, and B = C, then A = C.

            And the third point he quoted manages to contradict itself, in the space of two sentences.

            "American Thinker," indeed. Still waiting for these people to "go Galt" and prove how important they are to the rest of us… come on… any day now, guys… go on and stick it to us…

          • DustBowlBlues

            I wish I could give you 17 thumbs up for that first line. Well done, UFT, well played.

          • Gopherit

            I want to have your babies. I better start stretching my urethra.

      • BobSalem

        Did you also notice this page states in October 2008 and again in 2009 that Hawaiian officials (dumocraps from a very blue island) reported hey personally verified Obummers original birth certificate was in their files at the state department and now in 2011 they are not?

        • 4tehlulz_lite

          BTW birther trash, what are you going to do about this horrible conspiracy, other than vomit all over the Internet?

          Or is having such FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE an end in itslef?

          • BobSalem

            Good one there. Now get off mommies computer before you hurt yourself there little one.

          • tessiee

            "BTW birther trash, what are you going to do about this horrible conspiracy, other than vomit all over the Internet?"

            "Good one there. Now get off mommies computer before you hurt yourself there little one. "

            How about actually answering his question?

        • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

          wooof wooof wooof.

          Again, what's the point of this exercise? Why? I don't really care if you don't like his policies. You keep yabbering about how he's doing this and that, but not giving reasons why. Most things are done for a reason, even a stupid one, but a reason none the less.

          • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

            Because he's going to singlehandedly change all of our minds here on Wonkette, DUH.

          • BobSalem

            I already know that all you pukes will never change Forest. DUH is right.

          • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

            Pussy troll talks real big on the Internet.

          • Gopherit

            Forrest….Forrest, you dumbfuck. A forest is a shitload of trees. Forrest is supposed to be an insult of someone's intellect and derogatory towards special needs people. Also for Nathan Bedford Forrest, founding Father of the KKK and one of your personal heroes, I am sure. Fuck, you are so stupid, it's just sad.

          • BobSalem

            Liar. The questions still remain. If this was Bush you libtard pukes would be having a field day. At the end of every day all you kind prove is one thing, you are all hypocrites!

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/lawlicenses….

            Hahaha. Now you're just going around in circles.

          • BobSalem

            Ok now Short Bus, the link you provide is valid. Now go to the 3rd to last paragraph where it says "Not True, Information on the statuses of both Barack and Michelle Obummers licenses is readily retrievable" and …..this is real simple now…click on BARACK.

            Using the excuse they didn’t "need" them is a complete joke. Both Clintons didn’t voluntarily give theirs up. HMMMMM. Is it really that difficult for you to at least wonder why? Or is simply that your man won and the bottom line is you truly do not care?

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            Ah the Clintons. Always the Clintons.

            Don't you think that Hillary CLinton of all people wouldn't have dug deep into that? Do you think that John McCain or the James O'Keefe's of the world wouldn't dig?

            If they were both that corrupt then it would have been leaked out to the infosphere already.

            LOL. XOXOXO Kisses.

          • Gopherit

            Haha. you never used the shortbus insult til i used it on you a while back. You can learn! Congrats!

          • GOPCrusher

            So this is what this exercise is all about? The way Bush was treated for his Cabal's destruction of America and it's economy. I'm confused. I thought Tea Baggers didn't like Bush because he wasn't a "real" Republiklan.
            It gets tough to stick with the ever-changing talking points.

    • baconzgood

      You make me laugh Bob. Where's your circumcision certificate?

      • BobSalem

        You make me sick bacon, where's your brain?

        • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

          You still haven't answered my question. Why would he spend all the money to hide it?

        • baconzgood

          That's Mr. Zgood to you sir.

        • 4tehlulz_lite

          Antisemite.

          • BobSalem

            Perhaps if you grow up you wont be a Antisemite. You most likely will always be a libpuke!

          • 4tehlulz_lite

            0/10. I see better shit on Freep.

          • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

            He seems to be awfully obsessed with puke.

          • Gopherit

            He's more obsessed with anal sex. He's sadly closeted and scared. I think his mom did something to him.

          • tessiee

            I've heard better insults from my niece — and she's 3.

          • GOPCrusher

            This is not civility I can believe in.

      • poncho_pilot

        foreskin or GTFO.

      • tessiee

        I think you have to have a weenus to be circumcised.

    • GOPCrusher

      Snopes is only great for Tea Baggers when it supports whatever their talking point of the day is. Otherwise it is considered just another liberal scheme to bring down the movement.

  • GeneralLerong

    Trump/Palin 2012, gay-ron-teed to be fun. Oh, the backstabbing, slagging, soup cans tossed at the refrigerator, make-up sex…not to mention the swank hair-dos!

    Off to pop some popcorn, smoke the leftover ganja, and enjoy the mind movie.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Is there really such a thing as "leftover" ganja?

      • GeneralLerong

        For once, everyone brought some to the party.

    • V572..whatever

      At first I was going to say there's no way Palin's swollen and engorged go would allow her to be anyone's number 2. But she's also lazy, and a vice president doesn't have to do much if he or she doesn't care to. Keeping quiet would be the biggest challenge this attention whore would face.

      • GOPCrusher

        And she could quit half way through her term and no one would really try to stop her.

  • bagofmice

    It has to be said.

    This is good news for John McCain!

  • mavenmaven

    Too bad Charles Manson destroyed his chances by making that global warming comment.

  • smashaduck

    Side note, what the fuck is going on around here? I leave for three damn days and breitbot's found an army of downfisters?!??!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Lots of trolls today after yesterdays "outrage" over little Trig.

      • V572..whatever

        It's in BAD TASTE to make fun of a retard! But apparently it's in perfectly good taste to use him like a rag doll prop.

      • smashaduck

        Oh Christ. Yeah, I checked freerepublic to figure it out. They're still crying. Apparently they were unaware of the high holy day. I was busy. There's a level of bonding at 7-11 just about any time of day that should not be missed.

  • whiterabid

    I subscribe to the Pizza Hut theory of political evolution. Whenever the local street rag rates the best of anything in town, they have a critics poll and public poll. The critics always rate a place with a name ending in a vowel. The public always picks Pizza Hut. So, I think the Donald has the best chance because of name recognition. But he should stay away from political issues, as Pizza hut stays away from making actual pizza, because it will only detract from his brand.

    • trumpbly_joe

      See, whereas I subscribe to the Papa John's theory of politics, where it's okay to be as insanely racist as you want as a Republican candidate or commentator, as long as you don't say anything mean about a Palin, including mean things that are Lou Sarah's own (alleged) words.

      Incidentally, this is also relevant to Trump's candidacy and birtherinsanity, and his relations with "The Blacks"

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Republicans won't be happy until they run the zombified corpse of Ronald Reagan.

    • DaSandman

      Or a green gray Barry Goldwater riding a blind zombie alligator.

    • tessiee

      a) since he was a zombie before he actually died, I'm not sure his corpse could properly qualify as a zombie;
      b) he now wouldn't be right-wing enough for them.

    • GOPCrusher

      Hell, if they are going to resurrect something, go for Charles Lindbergh and the America First Party.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I'm pretty sure that is Michelle Bachmann.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    1972 was my favorite election all time. Had a three-sided McGovern poster on the roof of my car and went around downstate Illinoize campaigning as a Veteran for McGovern. In Huckabee terms, I was happier than a coon dog on a bare leg casting my vote that year, even knowing in my heart and head we where toast.

  • BobSalem

    OK, why then is Obummer hiding his past and spending millions to do so? With his Harvard degree in hand he could lie and take the Bar exam, but he could not work as a lawyer for a major law firm without a back ground investigation and he would never pass one. So, Michelle got Barry a job at her law firm. Barry never filed a case alone and never filed a motion. He wrote lots of memos according to the law firm where Barry worked. (I think they know Barry is a fraud and don’t want to be sued by previous clients) Barry rescinded his law licenses, so as not to be disbarred for fraud. The Bar knows Barry lied on his application. Michelle also had to turn over her law license for her involvement in corruption with the Chicago mayors office.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate
      • tessiee

        Well done!

        Snopes is great and they have no bias; Bob just said so.

    • genxr

      Maybe he's hiding it so nutters such as yourself will go around shouting wild conspiracy theories, thus discrediting the Republican party once and for all.

      Thank you for your support.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      He didn't spend any money to hide anything.
      http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statement

      No go away, you pointless, factless, dreary waste of troll space.

      • BobSalem

        Still lying or just plain stupid, it is hard to tell with you libtards. Are you suggesting that his attack dogs at the Law Firm of Perkins Coie in DC are representing him for free? And of course all the threatening letters they have been sending out are all the imagination of the recipients right?

        Ignorant phucker.

        • WhatTheHolyHeck

          It's threatening to send a standard letter requesting the dropping of a frivolous case, and explaining the potential for counter-suit for legal expenses and general waste of time?

          That's traditional, particularly for frivolous cases like that one.

          You need to either come up with something better or let the adults get back to talking big people talk.

          Now shoo, you ignorant, hateful little fucknut.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          Jesus Christ, you're dumb.

        • Gopherit

          so scared to say fucker. Where did Mom touch you, Bob? Did she use a clothespin?

  • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

    Forecasted Replies:

    1. None
    2. The entire US intelligence apparatus is in on it.
    3. Non-sequitur troll about some other dipshit thing
    4. "Proof" from psycho-right-wing websites
    5. "You look it up, I'm not going to waste my time finding 'evidence' and 'factual sources' for you. "
    6. Ad-hominem
    7. Any combination of the above.

    That should cover it.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      3

    • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

      I just got TROLLBINGO!

  • owhatever

    Rush the Hut is squatting there in his wireless lair, chucking down the painkillers, wondering what number wife is screwing the pool boy this week, waiting for the Mericans to draft him to restore honor. And damning the Donald for stealing his plan.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Awful candidates are awful. Film at 11.

  • BZ1

    Taitz/Trump 2012 Election plank: Birfer Exposé…

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    He's holding out for the ambassadorship to Somalia.

  • __kth__

    >>>So maybe they will have a fun Ross Perot kind of split that will demoralize the party for a decade, like it did to them in the 1990s.

    From your lips to Ba'al's ears.

  • hagajim

    Not fair, not fair at all! You know once my man T-PAW gets out their and makes a couple of speeches, he'll get his mojo going and the crowds will start to get all exZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Never mind.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    So you're saying Snopes is full of shit then?

    If Obamar were so corrupt the newsies would be full of them. Books and books about their corruption would be written by RWers and on the best seller lists. Considering the microscope of today's media anything about Obamer's misdeeds as a lawyers would have come out–it's not like the media especially Faux Newz would cut him any slack.. Really can't let that go can you?

    Michael Crichton (noted RWer) graduated from Hahvahd Medical School. Didn't practice. Became a mediocre best selling writer. Everyone has their reasons.

    • BobSalem

      Come on now. The question remains no matter what insults you people make. Obummer never filed anything with the courts since 1991 and Michele gives hers up for no reason? Just because he is Obummer doesn’t mean you can’t ask him an honest questions. If this was Bush and not Obummer the left would be flipping out and producing fake documents.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        But it's been disproven so why harp on it, like the Birf certificate?

        Can't really let that one go, can you?

        You still haven't given me a reason why this matters?

  • greypanter

    Jindal/Trump is their only hope. The dumber Democrat voters will choose by mistake the brown-with-a-funny-name/white-wasp-with-bad-hair team.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      There are no dumb Democrats. There are only Republicans who checked the wrong candidate by mistake.

  • tessiee

    "As Alan Keyes said, “Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.”"

    Actually, Santayana said that, but we've forgotten him.

  • tessiee

    "Twice as many respondents over all said they had an unfavorable view of her (55 percent) as said they had a favorable view (26 percent)."

    Every single person who has ever had a negative opinion of any kind about Sarah Palin is persecuting handicapped babbys.

  • SorosBot

    Because keeping your bar membership up is an expensive pain in the ass if you're in a position (like say, US Senator) where you're not going to be actively practicing law.

    • BobSalem

      Out and out LIE. That is all your statement is. The average is $200 and no attorney voluntarily rescinds their license without a good reason. Their license is good for life unless something forces them to give it up.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        Maybe she didn't want to be a lawyer.

        Snopes already disproved it.

        • BobSalem

          Their license is good for life unless something forces them to give it up.

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/lawlicenses….

            It's obvious you don't belong to a profession. I happen to belong to professional organization and the way they are when it comes to licensing is similar. If you don't pay dues then you're put on the inactive list. You have the license for "life" but it's not a one time deal especially with professional organizations as you have to pay the dues to keep current.

            If you are a bad lawyer/doctor/etc it goes in the public record regardless if you volunteer the license or not because that's part of the law on most if not all professional organizations in North America.

          • BerkeleyBear

            Just wrong. Voluntarily inactive status is a choice you can make at any time. Being involuntarily inactive/disbarred/suspended is a whole different thing. Which you could find out in about 2 minutes at the illinois bar association's website.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        I actually find this funny that when the proof shows up you have to change direction.

        • BobSalem

          Are you looking in the mirror there Manchu? You ignore facts you dont want to see. Do you also put your hands over your ears and sing LA LA LA LA LA?

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/lawlicenses….

            Love you Bob. I want to have your deluded babies.

          • SorosBot

            Projection much? You are right now currently ignoring facts you don't want to believe, as you have done constantly, as so much of the right-wing does – just look at global warming denialism, or the ridiculous claims that Hitler was somehow left-wing instead of far right, or that he was an atheist when he was Catholic.

          • BobSalem

            Global warming..hahahahaha, you just lost any possible credibility you might have had.

          • SorosBot

            See? There you did it again, showing you deny the proven reality global warming, and thus have no credibility on anything, and yet you somehow manage to claim I don't have credibility.

          • BobSalem

            Nothing has been "proven" and the data used has been manipulated, altered, ignored and/or just plain forged. Many more scientists disagree with the lie than agree. The politically corrupted processes and agenda-driven reported conclusions by the UN's IPCC, which are trumpeted in the lame stream media as authoritative gospel is nothing but a bunch of BS. As you should know if you truly are an attorney, the reality is to follow the money and then you will know who is perpetuating this fraud.

            Remember in the 1970's it was global freezing and most libpukes back then acted the same way they do now. It was a fraud and a lie then and it is the same BS now.

          • glamourdammerung

            Nothing has been "proven" and the data used has been manipulated, altered, ignored and/or just plain forged

            Certainly, you can cite a credible link for that outlandish claim, right?

          • SorosBot

            "Nothing has been "proven" and the data used has been manipulated, altered, ignored and/or just plain forged."

            This is a lie.

            "Many more scientists disagree with the lie than agree. "

            Yes;m every scientist disagrees with the lie that there's no global warming. Every climate scientist agrees; that's just a fact.

            "The politically corrupted processes and agenda-driven reported conclusions by the UN's IPCC, which are trumpeted in the lame stream media as authoritative gospel is nothing but a bunch of BS"

            This doesn't even make sense. Especially since the mainstream media, which always tries to do what it can to forward the right-wing cause, joins in on the lie and treats the denialists as credible, when they are not.

            "s you should know if you truly are an attorney, the reality is to follow the money and then you will know who is perpetuating this fraud. "

            HAHAHA. The money in the fraud goes back to the energy companies, who stand to lose a lot of money if we try to stop global warming. There is no big money involved in those of trying to prevent global warming; it's one of the reasons your conspiracy theory is ludicrous, because there is no motive whatsoever to make up climate change.

            "Remember in the 1970's it was global freezing and most libpukes back then acted the same way they do now."

            Didn't happen; this is something the denialist morons have just made up.

          • Gopherit

            Ah, Bob. Forever proving yourself a dolt. At least you'll have your gun to kill yourself when you are starving as a result of climate change, and your Jesus doesn't come for you.

      • SorosBot

        I am a lawyer, and know many other lawyers, and you are lying.

        • BobSalem

          So much for our faith in the legal system in this country if you truly are an attorney.

          • tessiee

            Hey, way to refute everything that SorosBot, Manchu, and BerkeleyBear just said, based on their own experience and observation!

            Boy howdy, I bet their faces are red now!

      • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

        The average is $200

        Average? Where??

        The firm I run pays an average of $500 per attorney, just to the STATE bar. Then there's the COUNTY bar which they pay dues too also. There is also an AAMERICAN Bar which some attorneys belong to.

        Just because you Googled something doesn't mean you know what you're talking about. But because you're a teabagger, I can pretty much guarantee you don't know what you're talking about.

        If Snopes could read your posts — Snopes, created for the sole purpose of debunking obvious bunk — would sigh loudly and wonder "why the fuck do we EVEN BOTHER"

  • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

    Actually, it does. However, you can also exercise your Objectivist rights by poisoning the fuckers beforehand. Then, when the police question you about it, point out that Statist "laws" forbidding stuff like murder run contrary to the one true Randian philosophy.

  • GOPCrusher

    In Minnesota? I find that hard to believe.

  • BerkeleyBear

    Because if you don't go inactive you have to do CLE hours every year (running about $100-150 per hour, with 28-40 hours required every three years depending on state, plus pay registration fees that can be as high as $400 per year (California).

    If you are working in another field, teaching full time or just not practicing in the state in question, going inactive is a way to keep your license in reserve without paying for a bunch of stuff that won't help you. I should know – I've been inactive in both California and Indiana at various times, mainly because I wasn't living in either state and didn't want to spend time at boring CLE sessions.

    It is a routine matter, especially when (like Michelle and Barack) you want to make sure no one tries to claim you formed an attorney-client relationship as part of other business dealings.

  • Lazy Media

    All funnin' aside, it's going to be Mittens, and Barry's going to have a hard time with him, because of Corporations and Their Free $peech.

    The other dullards don't have the money or recognition amongst the fat cats, who trust Mittens to try to cut their taxes (which is all they really care about). None of the wingnuts can attract enough fat cat cash, and if there's one thing we know about the teabaggers, it's that they're easily fooled into voting against their actual desires.

    By November, 2012, it will be Mittens the flannel-wearing friend of the working man vs. Mr. Washington Establishment Insider. Better hope unemployment has dropped under 8 percent.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Too factual to be funny.

    • GOPCrusher

      Except Mittens has the abortion and Romneycare albatrosses hanging around his neck.
      Abortion killed his chances in Iowa with Caucus goers in 2008 and it will again. He probably would stand a decent chance, if he lived through the primary process, but with the mad dog Republiklan primary voters, even Jesus Christ himself won't stand a chance.

  • DustBowlBlues

    "Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class middle-aged white people in America?"

    Self awareness of the part of Repubtards? Oh, Ken, I never took you for so adorably idealistic.

  • DaRooster

    "Hoveround-Rascal collisions"

    Leonardo meets Our Gang.

    • not that Dewey

      Leonard Cohen meets Opel Gang? I'd pay to see that.

  • GOPCrusher

    Or tie tea bags to their hats and show up at town hall meeting strapped with weapons.

    • glamourdammerung

      Or troll Wonkette looking for something to be offended about while simultaneously crying about "thought police" and "political correctness".

  • tessiee

    Hey, good point! What if Bob is right…

    *pauses for hysterical laughter to subside*

    *waits*

    *waits*

    OK, let me rephrase that:
    What if it could somehow be proven that there's a huge conspiracy on the part of…
    oh, I don't know, *everybody on earth*…
    to falsify Barack Obama's birth certificate, certificate of Live Birth, circumcision certificate, spelling test from first grade with "very good, Barry!" and a smiley face on it, etc. etc., etc.; and it is somehow conclusively proven that Barack Obama is, in fact, a darky muslin furriner, and that, therefore, he is not eligible to be President…

    Would the end result then be PRESIDENT BIDEN???

  • DahBoner

    I will hold my nose when I vote for McCain

    Uh, I don't think that was a "nose" Republicans were holding, haha!

  • gvvt

    "Is it possible that Republican voters have realized they’ve been taken for a ride these past three or four decades and that the multinational megacorporations that run the GOP have not the slightest interest in the pathetic lives of working-class middle-aged white people in America?"

    That's the joke line, right?

  • [redacted]hse

    Maybe the GOP could persuade Mike Dukakis to carry the banner.

  • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

    oh please oh please oh please oh please

  • DemonicRage

    Why don't they just run Nancy Reagan? She is as close to Ronald Reagan as they can get. And why not run John McCain as her running mate? That way, the Republican Party can stop pretending to be anything other than a party of partially demented geezers?

  • ttommyunger

    "Republicans Suicidally Depressed With Their Lame Candidates"…It's a start.

  • DaRooster

    Did you mean THROE?