Worship the one who hates you most.Would you like to read a long and enjoyable essay on why Ayn Rand was probably the most evil troll of the post-Hitler era? (Now we don’t have to compare her to Hitler!) Here’s the piece, on The Awl. You will enjoy it, we bet! Also, it gives us an excuse to post this video that’s been floating around the last couple of days. Watch Ayn Rand explain why most of the useless-eater population needs to die! It adds a lot of weird despair and pathos hathos (sorry spellcheck doesn’t know this fake word!) to our beloved artist Benjamin Frisch’s online comic about Ayn visiting the 21st Century (in a time machine built by Greenspan, for some reason), the way she’s so disgusted by the middle-class slovenly teabaggers who worship her god-hating name for some reason. It is always good to mention again that Ayn Rand hated the very idea of Jesus. Hated, hated, hated. Not that she believed there was any such person, but the whole idea just repulsed her.

Do we smell marijuana somewhere, by the way? There is definitely the smell of marijuana here. But where is here, ultimately?

God, why did anyone pay attention to her? Oh right, most people didn’t! Sadly, a lot of nerdy white guys in college felt cool because Ayn hated religion, so maybe that would impress the hippie girls? Go get her, Hitchens:

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  • BeWoot

    I hear she slept with her orthodontist.

    • user-of-owls

      That was just a barter agreement. He sharpened her vagina teeth.

      • memzilla

        Vagina Snaggledentata?

      • Gopherit

        With a name like Ayn? "She" never had a vagina.

    • lefty74

      Those teefuses be leaving a mark!

    • Gopherit

      not much value there, but that's what you get in a laissez faire world.

    • Negropolis

      Well, you sure as hell couldn't tell from that state of those teeth, no could you?

    • genxr

      If that's true, she must have been a terrible lay.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Orly Taitz?

  • radio-of-owls

    Gin-soaked Trotskyite popinjay for the win!!

    • emmelemm

      I am seriously in love with you for that. Who uses the word POPINJAY any more?

      • doloras

        George muthafuckin' Galloway, that's who.

        • user-of-owls

          He's coming, he's coming…

      • DahBoner


        Is that like a vagina you can put into your toaster to warm it up?

        • user-of-owls

          No, that's a Pop In The Tart's Jay.

          • Terry

            Or a popinvajayjay

    • memzilla

      Correction, Comrade Owls: Vodka-soaked Trotskyite. Gin-soaked Marxist.

      • user-of-owls

        Nyet, Citizen Zilla. See Worker Doloras' citation above.

    • poncho_pilot

      as opposed to the moonshine soaked teabagging Poppin' Freshes–Die Poppinfrische.

  • zhubajie

    I suspect she was too selfish to suck another person off or give them pleasure in anyway!

    • nounverb911

      I thought she lost her virginity to Alan Greenspan.

      • DownFist Troll

        well you win horrifying thought of the day, nounverb911.

      • CthuNHu

        Posthumously, yes.

      • DahBoner

        In a bathtub, while he was busy transcribing another book about how he never could have imagined 60 Trillion worth of Credit Default Swaps created out of thin air ever exploding…

      • poncho_pilot

        "oh, Alan! let's see if your green steel can span my gaping gulch!"

        • FraAnima

          Atlas Shrugged ref FTW.

      • zhubajie

        More likely the other way around.

    • sati_demise

      She would only blow child murderers. thats how she rolls, man.

      • genxr

        Child murderers? Now there's someone who doesn't put the happiness of others over his own! True objectivism, there!

  • DownFist Troll

    Know who else wrote a terrible book foreshadowing a period of unimaginable destruction that could end all of mankind? Oh right, hitler did.

  • memzilla

    With that accent, you can just imagine Ayn (rhymes with swine) Rand time-jumped into 1917 Russia, in front of the local Bolshevik Revolutionary Committee, defending her brother Czar Nicholas and the whole imperial system, explaining why millions of people need to work for serf wages because Czarism is a legitimate expression of Objectivism.

    Then you can imagine the satisfying snick of the bolts, as six Mosin-Nagant rifles chamber a round and Lenin says to her, "Erm… nyet, gospodina."

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      Bolshevism was inevitable once the czars lost their spines and banned serfdom, in fucking 1861.

  • SexySmurf

    Her former associate Murry Rothbard wrote a satirical play, Mozart was a Red, about Ayn. It's actually pretty funny.

    • Amazingly, some people DO recover from Objectivism. Kinda like Katie Holmes.

  • Trannysurprise

    Do I click on the "Ayn Rand – Objectivism or Altruism" video OR do I click on "Giving Up on Gay Men?" link.

    I chose to drink. This, this is what Ken makes me do.

    • finallyhappy

      me_i'm eating matzoh with butter- that was Ken made me do

    • mayor_quimby

      Dude, I've been trying to fight the "Giving Up On Gay Men" thing for weeks! I would NOT give up on them, or give up on them, i'm not sure which one, except I'm knee deep in poontang over here.
      The chick I'm fucking will be so happy(sad?) when I give gay men up.
      And the funny looks from coworkers who roll up in my cube while I'm on Wonkette are veeeerrryyy interesting.
      In closing: Let Me Be Clear, I Love Pussy

    • Cicada

      I'm masturbating to the Ayn Rand video. That's what Ken made me do.


      • Tommmcattt

        Straight people are weird.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I imagine GivingUpOnGayMen will also be leaving Wonkette, following the hub-bub over Jack's Trig Birthday Post & the inevitable Breitbart-fuelled slash & burn.

      They're prolly going to have better luck at, anyway.

  • mull_man

    I have a theory, which it is, and it is this. My theory, which belongs to me, is mine. My theory is
    All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have, and which is mine, and what it is too.

    • iburl

      I love this hive employee-e. bisected accidentally.

    • jqheywood

      Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie named "Abdul".

      Ann Elk

    • tessiee

      Your theory, however compelling it may be, does have one major flaw.
      It does not result in pie.
      Delicious, delicious pie for me to eat.

      • poncho_pilot

        here's how you get pi:

        you take a slice out of the brontosaurus and measure the circumference (C) and then measure the diameter (D). divide C by D. now let it cool in a window.

    • only this chick

      looks better in women's clothing

  • rambone

    I bet I could make oodles of money by writing an idiotic book which ends up being taken seriously by morons and amoral, selfish bastards seeking to ease their cognitive dissonance with soothing cliches.

    Oh, Glenn Beck already put out another book? Never mind . . .

    • tessiee

      "I bet I could make oodles of money by writing an idiotic book which ends up being taken seriously by morons and amoral, selfish bastards seeking to ease their cognitive dissonance with soothing cliches. "

      "The Rules"?

  • gullywompr

    My reasoning mind perceives that she was a windbag, a faghag, and an old slag.

  • SorosBot

    It's also important to remember that Ayn Rand described William Edward Hickman as her ideal man. This was a man who kidnapped a 12-year-old girl for ransom, and when her parents paid returned a pile of her dismembered body parts.,_hu

    • BlueStateLibel

      Holy shit, I can't believe that shit and am too shocked to snark. Repub psychos are today worshiping a psycho woman who worshiped a psychopath.

    • I shouldn't be shocked considering the type of assholes who buy into her bullshit.

      Still… holy fuck.

      • SorosBot

        I felt the same when I first read about that; unfortunately I can't remember where (maybe Atrios?) . You realize she really was a sociopath; which comes through in her "philosophy", but that really illustrates it.

    • emmelemm

      The mind boggles. Thank you, Sorosbot, though, for the info.

    • DahBoner


    • iburl

      Rand wrote: "The first thing that impresses me about the case is the ferocious rage of a whole society against one man (Hickman). No matter what the man did, there is always something loathsome in the 'virtuous' indignation and mass-hatred of the 'majority.'… It is repulsive to see all these beings with worse sins and crimes in their own lives, virtuously condemning a criminal…"

      Man, Ain hung with some really evil motherf**kers.

      • poncho_pilot

        she, like Obama, was a pirate. her initials sounded out? Arrrrr!!!

    • oh sorosbot, you and your… "facts" and your, er, … "truth" just who the hell do you think you are? some sort of truth/fact spewing machine?

    • One_Man_Band

      Ah, I was going to post this link, too. Mark Ames is one of our finest authors. If you haven't read "Going Postal," you should have already done that.

      • ThundercatHo

        Haven't read that one but I did read "Going Postal" by Terry Pratchett.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Haven't read either of these, but I still like slamming my head against the dashboard while listening to "Stealing People's Mail." Postally-themed songs always get me going.

    • genxr

      Wow. Talk about rational self-interest, there. I enjoy money, and dismemberment, so I can't allow anyone to interfere with my pursuit of happiness. Besides, a 12 year old hasn't lived long enough to build virtues of any value to society anyway. Objectivism!

  • comrad_darkness

    And she collected MEDICARE under her husband's name.

    Eat that fucking Randians.

    • emmelemm

      That's the thing that literally puts my jaw on the floor every.single.time. The stunning, direct a-to-b hypocrisy of that is so blatant, I just can't believe that anyone takes her seriously.

    • DahBoner


    • GodShammgod

      Ayn Rand loudly championed the tobacco industry "studies" stating that smoking was not harmful to health. Once she got lung cancer and needed surgery, she enrolled in Medicare.

      • UpFistTroll

        Her idiot followers' argument for this, of course, is that she was naturally ENTITLED to get money from Medicare, because she paid into it.

        And I'm totally sure she kept extremely careful watch on the bills to make ABSOLUTELY SURE Medicare only paid out PRECISELY what she paid into it AND NOT ONE PENNY MORE. Because that would be parasitism.

    • Not to mention her real name is Alissa. She made up that Ayn shit.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But we did get 2112 because of Rand. So there is at least some good in this world because of her.

    • doloras

      And it's thanks to Meher Baba that we got Tommy, so I'm not sure what that means. Apart from great artists are sometimes inspired by the most batshit-crazy things.

    • Cheetah Repeater

      I too break out 2112 once a decade. At least you don't necessarily have to be familiar with the book to appreciate the finer points of "The Temples of Syrinx." (Although it was enough to get me to read the damn thing). In fact most Rush fans probably thought Ayn Rand was some awesome strain of bud. Happy 4/20!

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      And The Trees! By hatchet, axe and saw, we also got The Trees!

    • Gorillionaire

      One likes to believe in the freedom of music, but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusions of integrity, yeah.

    • Oh hell, by the time the decade turned, even Rush were embarrassed about that shit, using Andy Summers effects pedals and wearing skinny ties.

  • I'm still waiting for my invisible hand handjob that Ayn Rand promised us when the free markets were free to do as they please and unburdened by statist regulation.

    • comrad_darkness

      Sorry, everyone who was going to give you a handjob died of dysentery.

      • poncho_pilot

        always play as the banker. you can't lose.

        • UpFistTroll

          Note: This applies to life, not just Oregon Trail.

  • TheMeatmaker

    Got to give Rand credit: She managed to be America's most beloved talentless transvestite performer. Until Lady Gaga.

    • HempDogbane

      Weird Al tribute coming right up.

    • horsedreamer_1

      RuPaul would like a word. k.d. lang would too, but, alas, she's Canadian.

  • DownFist Troll


    • gullywompr

      You know who else started and ended threads in a single comment and then ended them again if somebody tried to keep it going by replying anyway?

      • DownFist Troll

        Hmm, tough one. Sorosbot or Hitler?

      • LetUsBray

        Worf, Son of Mogh?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Having Ayn Rand as your philosophical leader makes about as much sense as having a bad science fiction writer who likes to molest boys on his yacht as your spiritual leader. Either way, you have long past reality by the time you get there.

    Let's face it, outside of a few Rush songs, and Bioshock's plot and aesthetic, the only good thing Rand provided us was that you knew which girls were into kinky, Godless sex in college if they claimed to like reading Rand.

    • doloras

      Technically speaking, the bad sf writer you refer to never actually molested any boys, or girls, as by the time he had the yacht and the crew of cultists he had become impotent.

      • emmelemm

        You can molest someone without sticking your erect member in them.

        /just saying, don't know nothing 'bout this LRon thing

        • doloras

          Well, he was certainly guilty of physical and emotional child abuse (as is any of his cultists who follow his insane dictums on child rearing). Just get a bit nervous when we accuse everyone who's an asshole of also being a boy-rapist, because that provides cover for actual rapists of boys.

      • Negropolis

        How did that get any thumbs up? People, you need to start being more discerning. Really.

        • genxr

          Kinky godless sex gets a thumbs up in any context.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Head. Hurts.

  • Goonemeritus

    This evening I dreamt I was watching a boring old Russian lady spout nonsense and when I awoke I was.

    • finallyhappy

      I dreamed I returned to Manderley

      • nounverb911

        Watch out for Mrs. Danvers.

      • mog253

        Oh, Caroline!

    • gullywompr

      What did Ayn dream about? Nothing. She was retarded.

  • memzilla

    Still Glenn Beck?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Hitler had more fashion sense. And wan't just in it for the money.

  • PsycWench

    Ayn Rand strikes me as the kind of woman that, were I to be cornered by her at a party, I would gnaw my arm off to escape if that's what was required.

  • user-of-owls

    Ahh, those heady days when men were men, and so was Ayn Rand.

    • Ayn's swine sty I fear.

      • user-of-owls

        Aynrand, Aynrand Unter Alles, Unter Alles en der Welt.

  • spoliaro ergo sum

    • tessiee

      Google translates as "Be stripped, therefore I am", which is intriguing but probably not what you meant.

      • Just tried 'spoliaro' and got "nest of robbers" which was the direction where I was headed. But a nest of robbers might leave you stripped and to follow Ayn you have to be morally stripped, so guess that works too, kinda sorta.

  • Schmannnity

    Marijuana smell? No. Xyclon B? Ja, wohl!

  • GuanoFaucet

    A(sshole sociopath) = A(sshole sociopath)

  • Sue4466

    Shorter Ayn Rand: I got mine. Fuck you.

  • Oh crap! The author is a facebook friend. My wonkette life is crashing into my facebook life. Virtual worlds colliding. Virtual worlds colliding! Matter anti-matter. It's the end of the world I tell you.

  • Rand: made it to about 4:00 or so, Hitchens to the end, and the weirdo soporific and pointless response to Hitchens that shows up after the Hitchens vid, to about 0:10. In any case I cannot believe I made it to the end of a single video posted on Wonkette … hasn't happened in a long time.

    • sati_demise

      whatever you think about Hitch, his comment on the passing of Jerry Falwell will always make me love him.

    • fuflans

      i only get two seven minute ayn rand postings.

      i am owed a hitchens rebuttal as i spent 10 minutes of my life listening to ayn rand.

  • Sue4466

    This explains why everyone I've ever met who thought Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead were good or even great books were smug assholes.

  • bflrtsplk

    I smell marijuana here, too, though right now I am not sure where here might be. Hey, anybody got any chips or those chocolate cookies with Macawhatever nuts? As I speak – er type – Graucho is calling the plays in a tux with a cigar in his mouth. When your mouth get dry, you pretty high.

    • jqheywood

      When your mouth get dry, you pretty high.


    • poncho_pilot


  • Callyson

    Hitch: "I don't think there's any need to have essays advocating selfishness among human beings"
    Perfect, just perfect…in fourteen words, Rand is demolished.
    Please please please can we find a miracle cure…I don't always agree with Christopher Hitchens, but when he is good, he is very very good indeed…

  • DahBoner

    After watching the Ayn Rand video, it's obvious her philosophy is out to destroy regular dental care.

    Either that, or Rand is from West Virginia…

    • Isn't West Virginia from where the Terek Cossacks hail?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Dentistry Is Theft!

  • wondering where i am

    Off thread.


    Or has this already been commented on and I am late to the party?

    • El Pinche

      =More page views !!!

      Freepers denounce everything except for their own retardation.

    • DahBoner

      OK, so Wonkette won't be getting fake garlic oil Papa John anymore.

      Or Huggies. But god damn hippy mothers usually wash their own cotton diapers anyway.

      So, ha. Ha. Ha….

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Upfist for Jack x 1000

    • SmutBoffin

      "It’s basically a gay site, Wonkette. So, if you diss Wonkette, you are ipso facto a gay basher. Get it? These people are craaaaaaaaaaaaaazzy."



      • Negropolis

        Those are national treasures, I tell you. Little nuggets of pure, unrefined gold.

    • wondering where i am
      • glamourdammerung

        I had to click on the "legal insurrection" link because I knew it was familiar for some reason and remembered that clown from their crying jag about President Obama's choice of hamburger condiments and how that got actual mainstream media attention. I wish I was making that up.

    • SorosBot

      "Or has this already been commented on and I am late to the party?"

      HAHAHHAHA, Yes; you missed the biggest troll invasion this place has ever seen.

      • CrankyLttlCamperette

        It made me long for the halcyon days of Neilist.

    • I took a few minutes to skim over the Trig thread that started this whole mess and hoooooooly crap, what a bunch of humorless, angry, self-righteous morons. And they get mad at liberals' standards for political correctness.

      But anyway it brought to mind a story I hadn't thought about in years. When Princess Diana died, I was a wee lad of about Jack's age, just out of college. Though I thought her dying the way she did horrific and sad, I got fed up pretty quickly with what I felt was a ridiculous amount of hagiography being spewed all over the media like so much santorum.

      So in a flush of some overpowering frustration (probably only 10% of which had to do with Di) a few days later, I expressed myself by changing the outgoing message on my answering machine to something like "Please leave your name, number, and any Princess Diana jokes you'd like to share after the beep." My roommate's sister heard it and threatened to fly to California to kick my ass, and my roommate (who was an actor and a huge drama queen) let her get him all worked up and we had a huge fight over it.

      I remember thinking that okay, it was a pretty unfunny message and much more dumb than clever. But still, the reaction of the roomie and his sis felt all out of proportion to the offense. This is like that, times about one hundred gajillion.

      Thank God for the internet, where the self-righteous can now gather to scream over every tiny little thing that anyone ever says, in a never-ending orgy of moral indignation, while keeping each other angry enough to chew railroad spikes and spit out staples.

      • YeOldeFapSmith

        This sums it up perfectly! x 1000 upfists, good sir/madame/tranny.

      • Doktor Zoom

        I can't begin to tell you how offended I am by this. You people are sick.

    • Negropolis

      Begun, the Troll War has. When you've lost Papa John's, you've lost America, right?

      Who is down for a totally bad-ass blogwar? BTW, everyone for the next few days reinforce our members' pee points…for freedom, por favor. We shall fight them in this series of tubes, we shall fight them on the beaches of Tripoli, and in the depraved lands of Brietbartia…

      • horsedreamer_1

        It's times like this when you're glad Wonkette is torn from the nest of GawkerMedia. Less consideration for other blogs need be taken. (Not no consideration, just, one doesn't have to think, will the bailed out automakers give the cold shoulder to Jalopnik, will the harridans at Jezebel unexpectedly jump to the defense of a mother & quite literally castrate you.)

  • She got the eye movements of a paranoid schizophrenic.

    • DahBoner


    • loulouroo

      She actually has the eyes of a hardcore tweaker. She was seriously addicted to amphetamines. (true dat)

  • snark-off/ Thanks for the Hitchens bit. Hadn't seen that one. I once ran into him around Dupont Circle when he was heading, alone, to Timberlakes for a bottle or three of Johnny Walker. We had met a couple of times before. He invited me to have a drink with him, and I almost refused because I felt as though I'd never be able to engage in conversation at his level. But he actually turned out to be the nicest man, and I happened to have just finished Orwell's Keep the Aspidistra Flying, and he just happened to be finishing his book on Orwell (the next day he was off to Chile to testify against Kissinger), so we actually had something to talk about. Anyhow, people can disagree with him about policy at times, but there's no disagreeing that he represents something so lacking in contemporary America: a truly witty, formidably intelligent public intellectual. Newt Gingrich (the GOP "intellectual") isn't qualified to darn his socks. Here's to Hitchens (taking large gulp of gin) and cancer will be sorry it ever fucked with him.

    • Gopherit

      I disagree with about half of his politics, but i hate anyone on his "side" that ever disagreed with his evaluation on actual, reasoned politics based on faith. When they die, they will be begging to a Jesus he knew didn't exist.

      • SorosBot

        He's one of those people who kind of lost it after 9/11, when he became a wingnut on foreign policy and on civil liberties as applied to Muslims only; he's still very liberal on everything else.

    • I'm with the Minnesotan, I don't agree with quite a bit of Hitchens agenda but I do like his style and the fact he can have a reasonable argument unlike Newt's sophistry and false equivalency.

    • sati_demise

      he can disagree without being disagreeable. and make you laugh while wreaking destruction

    • I had my problems with him, but I always appreciated the way he stuck a shiv into Mother Teresa.

  • EdFlintstone

    She looks like she could of been in an Ed Wood film.

    • WinterOuthouse

      I think she's teh Bachmann's, nee Ambler, gramma

    • DahBoner


    • Gopherit

      She tampered in God's domain. She should have stayed a man.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Didn't Ed Wood direct the recently-released "Atlas Shrugged Part I"?

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Randians also liked her ideas of power sex. While classically considered a sexual recipient, it was Dagny who did the fuckin' in that book. And she passed it out like they were corporate memos.

    Can't tell teabaggers that, tho. They don't believe in teh sex.

    • DahBoner

      Many people do not realize that despite some caveats, Rand herself was a great fan of gay porn movies and of homosexual love.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        No surprise. Ayn was totally nuts but had at least interesting conceptualizations.

        The teabaggers just have cherry-picked bullshit from Rand and Jesus. Attempt to confront them with that huge dichotomy and they explode. Actually, they don't. They just call you "godless" (Ayn would approve) or say that you don't understand Rand (they don't).

        Idiocy all the way.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        To your link: How cute! they left the german accent in place. Which leaves me doubting its authenticity, because it should have been a Russian accent.

  • GodShammgod

    Ayn Rand: Proving that awkward portrayals of sex in writing (I refuse to call her drivel "literature") is not the exclusive province of men since the 1950's.

    • jqheywood

      "That's not writing, that's typing…"

      –Truman Capote

    • pacifistgunman

      She was a typist.

  • Mike Wallace is thinking "Damn her eyes are crazier than Bachmann's!"

  • WinterOuthouse

    She is odd.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Mr. Ed the Talking Horse

  • WinterOuthouse

    Hey Psychwench,

    What kind of child abuse would cause that much damage? How about drugs and child abuse? How about drugs, child abuse and a mean Priest?


  • WinterOuthouse

    Hitchens, Hitchens he's our man if he can't stomp her no one can!

  • DaSandman

    Kunt. And with awful Russian teeth too. No dentists over there?. Jeebus!

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      Kant > Kunt

  • Weenus299

    Go try finding Jesus' birth certificate. You'd probably hate Jesus too.

  • gullywompr

    I'd rather fuck Bruce Vilanch.

    • Cicada

      True. At least Bruce Vilanch has a sense of humor.

    • tessiee

      OK, I don't think that Bruce Vilanch is into girls, but I would totally fuck him, and then we would come downstairs butt naked, watch movies, and eat everything in the refrigerator, giggling.

  • glamourdammerung

    Rational self interest is not tens of people standing around with misspelled signs actively working against their own self interest.

    • DahBoner


  • Guppy06

    Three products of the 1950's:
    Ayn RandL. Ron Hubbardthe hydrogen bomb
    Which has been the most destructive?

    • Schmannnity

      Trick question. Answer: Ford Edsel.

    • tessiee


    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      All of them, Katie.

    • number 'b'.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, Eine Randy. No doubt about it whatsoever. This isn't even close, at least, until the H-bomb is actually dropped on an urban area, or Scientology becomes a true threat to the likes of Islam and Christianity.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Granted, it was the OSS in the 40s, but the CIA really came into its own in the 50s.

      I'd also throw both John Birch & the Nation of Islam on the pile.

  • Her accent made her hard to understand. She wants us all to be realtors? That may have been good advice before the housing bubble burst, but now it's foolishness.

    • No, not ALL of us. Only Orly Taitz.

  • pinkocommi

    "Ayn Rand Sucks"

    Yes, but the question is, What does she suck?

    • SorosBot

      Alan Greenspan's dick, when she was an old lady and he was just a kid.

    • loulouroo


  • Lost_Teabaggers

    Haha…I read back through Benjamin's Rand series again, and it's as funny as it was the first time. You guys ought to farm that out to more sites or something…..Ayn should be evangelized so all Americans can share in the sheer joy of projectile vomit with the sound 'HURRRRURR' coming out with it. Genius, pure genius!

  • themcwow

    At first I thought it said AVN.

    • SorosBot

      You thought it was the Angry Videogame Nerd? But he's cool…

  • BarackMyWorld
  • mavenmaven

    OT, but relevant to fascism- here's the conservative view on things:

    "Baloshka 108p · 29 minutes ago
    I would like to find out Jack Stuef's address. I would like to send him a convalescence card.

    Maybe Muslims are right about Jooze."

    • SayItWithWookies

      That they have common origins and worship the same deity? I'm not sure that's as controversial as the poster thinks it is.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Is Jack a Jew? I figured he was West Michigan Dutch, from the name.

      • mavenmaven

        When one is a pathetic hater, everyone is a "Jew".

  • Danzig!

    Ladies, word of warning – Don't let a Randroid do you! If you have to, use protection! Lest you become pregnant and have to deal with this –

  • Beetagger

    That's really Steve Buscemi in a Johnny Depp wig, right?

  • "Let me explain that as briefly as I can."

    Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    The thing about Rand is people tend to overthink her…polishing the proverbial turd if you will. Her philosophy appeals to the type of person who from the moment they are born lives in a "Truman Show" like existence in which everything is carefully provided for with situations manipulated so they can succeed. This person in question then wanders about crowing how their "genius" and "rugged individualism" made them a success, conveniently of course forgetting everyone who made it possible for them to succeed.

    Seriously though, Rand's group calling themselves the collective? haha, very funny geeks…except they proved to be nothing but a collective run by an amphetimine addicted authorian dictator motherbrain, so it's a splash of delicious irony, yes?

  • aguacatero

    She obviously did not demand any sacrifices of her dentist.

  • Damn, I had heard that Natasha Fatale had really let herself go after the Moose and Squirrel thing stopped but had no idea it was this bad.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Damn. I don't have time to watch right now because I just came out for a break before watching the last section of "Inside Job." Very well done, but the film rating board was remiss in not forcing the director to attach a warning label to the cover: "This film has been rated dangerous to anyone with half a brain and high blood pressure."

    Seriously, why has no one done the perp walk over this? Subpoena those fuckhead Larry Sommers and Mr. Forehead to answer for themselves. And I'm on Matt T's side more than ever. The fucking execs at Goldman Sachs should be shacked and put in a dungeon. And, yes, this means you, Mr. Clean (aka Paulson) along with the rest of the robber barons.

    Greedy fucking corporations. I hate them.

    • Outstanding movie. Excellent discussion of credit default swaps on mortgage backed securities (and securitization generally). I think Ferguson tried to cover too much although with the wealth of targets it must have been difficult to choose. An entire documentary could be done on the malfeasance and duplicity of the ratings agencies, for example.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I don't understand what the problem is. Teabaggers and libertarians are practical resourceful thinkers above all else, and not likely to be unquestioningly devoted to a person they know little or nothing about if they could instead follow an idea while refining its ideological structure in the crucible of a dynamic economy and an informed electorate.

    Heh. Heh heh. Heheheheheheheheheh. Heheheheheheheheeeeeeeeee. I just wanted to say that.

  • maczieg

    Avoid anyone who proclaims to love "Atlas Shrugged" … not only will they bore the hell out of you with rants about personal liberty, but they couldn't actually reason their way out of a paper bag.

  • BZ1

    Mumbo-jumbo wrapped in callousness…

  • The interviewer sounds like a young Mike Wallace. If so, isn't it ironic that the smug Chris Wallace, with hiis smarmy little crooked Cheney grin,

    You know, this fucking Intense Debate. It takes me a fucxking hour to trick it into letting me comment, and by then I'm so pissed I have lost my train of thought. Really, I did have something to say. But it's like dealing with a half hour fillibuster from a teabagger. By the time he stops for a breath, or by the time Intense Debate lets me comment, the thought is just replaced by dumb rage.


    • Gah, I'm sorry. It gets especially touchy when a new batch of trolls is riding around on their rascals, knocking things over. I will really look into SOLUTIONS as promised, but now I must sleep, peoples, and do it all again tomorrow.

      • wondering where i am

        Sorry for your troubles. Woo hoo, seems some people don't appreciate satire.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Saul of Tarsus?

  • El Pinche

    And just think , some idiots name their kids after the absurdist Rand. Somewhere in the 11th Dimension , Nietzsche is laughing his ass off.

  • fuflans

    off topic (again): thanks ken and i'm sure you had a hell of a day.

    thank you for defending our honor


  • Negropolis

    Ayn Rand ist eine Asshole.

  • Radio_Level_7

    Fucking Miss Ego and Supercilious couldn't objectify enough to find a Dentist?
    "Vee arre goink back!"

  • I bet she was fun at parties. I'm guessing that she was never invited more than once.

  • bflrtsplk

    Interesting that Ayn Rand, in all her selfishness for the power of the individual, belonged to called a group the Collectivist. Maybe I'm missing the irony, but irony is supposed to have died on you know what day in 2001.

  • ThundercatHo

    So, people took her work as a real philosopy? I thought it was basically a rant against communism. The life lessons I took away were: 1) Don't be a whiner 2) Try to be true to yourself 3) Be responsible for your own happiness. But then, my take away from the bible was: 1) Be nice to other people 2) There are consequences for being an asshole

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if she ever considered composing a paean to Scrooge McDuck. I bet she admired the fuck out of that guy.

  • Preferred Customer

    You couldn't ask for better comedy than this. The hero of the Tea Party revolution is a female atheist who was born Jewish and has a thicker Russian accent than Natasha from Bullwinkle? That irony is so rich I could live on it for a year. Well, that and good, strong beer.

  • smitallica

    If I looked like that, I might also come up with a philosophy that discards the need for other people to love me.

  • 738838

    Female Rasputin

  • whackalibturd

    by "useless eaters" she meant progressives

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hold it, hold it, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. {arm waving semaphore indicating "sit down and STFU" }

    To all the trolls who took issue with my jocular look-I-didn't-abort-this-retard prop baby quip:

    According to your high priestess, (no, not Bible Spice, you idiots, the one with the shitty teeth that show nicotine stains even in grainy black and white) I and the rest of the wonkeratti are duty-bound to make only ourselves happy and making fun of little Trigger's mom by using her prop baby, who the fuck do you think you trolls are, telling me or any of the other wonkeratti that we are wrong to do it?

    Here on "my" the wonket, we make ourselves happy, as is our right, nay, our patriotic duty, even as the world crumbles into a toxic pile of corporate by-product owing to the douchebag tools your side picks to make our lame-assed laws.

    So leave our pees the fuck alone and go find your own bliss.

  • __kth__

    Any collection of Randiana would be incomplete without the tale of this serial killer of whom she was hopelessly enamored.
    edit: sorry, SorosBot, didn't read comments before posting and hence didn't see yours, have mild ADD and if I don't post things I forget them a minute or so later!

  • DarkStar_88

    Part of understanding why Rand kind of went off the deep end AGAINST collectivism is to remember that she was in a nation that went off the deep end FOR collectivism. Newton's law of "equal and opposite reaction" is applicable to a lot more than just physics equations, even though he never realized it.

  • UpFistTroll

    Wouldn't a totally true Objectivist CELEBRATE abortion? For what is the child but the ultimate parasite?

    EDIT: By the way, anything I ever post on Wonkette is "not intended to be a factual statement". IMMUNITY FTW. Jack, you totally should've used that.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Has anyone mentioned that Paul Ryan (R-Who Gives A Fuck) requires his staff to read it before they are hired?

  • __kth__

    personally I draw the line at $cientologists

  • thefrontpage

    Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard were lunatics, crazies, nutballs, loons, doofuses, idiots, morons, psychos, scammers, con artists, flim-flam men, rip-off artists, lousy writers, poseurs and just plain nuts. Their books are over-rated, their ideas are over-rated, and everyone should just stop caring about them. It's that simple.

    • Their ideas aren't even ideas. They're delusions.

  • BalphHunsacker

    If you've actually read "Atlas Shrugged," then you know that the writing is atrocious, and that this fact is not subject to debate … unless you're Aynally retentive.

  • lulzmonger

    A-Hole is A-Hole.

    Kropotkin's Mutual Aid had already rendered her steaming triple-coiler of a "philosophy" an obsolete joke long before she ever came up with it … but the same science she claimed to adore has since re-confirmed to the point of monotony that interdependance is the name of the game if you eat, poop & breathe. Humanity is vigorously ignoring that fact in favor of MOAR SUVS & BIG MACS PLZ – a marathon of Randian epic fail which I'm sure will end well.

    Objectivism is objective like China & N.Korea are republics.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Caprica Six. Duh.

    (There, there. It's okay. You're not gonna have to cry much longer.)

  • pacifistgunman

    Without self-sacrifice we would have lost WWII. I assume Rand would have considered that a good thing?

  • lloydstool

    Six degrees of Alan Greenspan! He was hitting that before he Objectively met Andrea! Ergo, Brian Williams has partied w/ John Galt!

  • MarcelleMarceau

    Synopsis of The Fountainhead:

    Protagonist rapes woman; blows shit up. The end.

  • ttommyunger

    Considering her obvious contempt for oral hygiene and dental care I will suggest without fear of exaggeration that her breath would have probably knocked a buzzard off of a gut-wagon. So glad I never had to be within ten feet of her.

  • She could have switched over to the Nazi Party without too much trouble. But I think she would have demanded a Gestapo uniform.


    She would have been gassed. She was Jewish.

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