making it official

Sarah Palin Wearing Star of David, Is a Jew Now Or Something

It's really big, so that probably means she's more pious than the other Jews.Sarah Palin made one of her usual appearances on the long-running fictional soap opera Fox News Channel yesterday, live via satellite from behind the snack bar shack at a golf course. Palin defended her similarly shallow compatriot against the VICIOUS ATTACKS that Trump, like Palin, is not a serious human being. “They’re hammering him about the one issue that he has brought up and not been shy about, and that’s the birth certificate. He’s answering reporters’ questions about his view on the birth certificate. And reporters turn that around and say that’s all he’s got,” she said, showing off her expert analysis. And now she’s wearing a huge Star of David around her neck? What’s the deal with that?

Palin, wearing a Jewish Star of David around her neck on the second night of Passover, did not at any point provide an explicit answer on whether she thinks Trump is right or wrong in doubting the president’s birthplace — and was not asked by an adoring Sean Hannity. But she’s voiced support for his taking up the issue before.

Is Sarah Palin a member of the Tribe now? Or are those ancient Egyptians finally getting back at them with a plague of their own: the snowbilly grifter? [Politico]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. SheriffRoscoe

    Evangelicals and Penny-costals, like Sarah "Blood Libel" Palin, wear the Star Of David and adore the Jews because God has promised to use them in the end times by killing them and throwing them into the lake of fire first. GO JEWS!

    1. tessiee

      "Evangelicals and Penny-costals … adore the Jews because God has promised to use them in the end times by killing them and throwing them into the lake of fire first."

      Heshie's Daughter: One thing you have to say about the Born-Agains, they love us Jews.
      Heshie: Watch and wait, daughter.

      /The Sopranos/

      1. finallyhappy

        I had an Uncle Heshie, an Uncle Ziggie, and an Uncle Fishel- and so I can tell you, Snowbilly is no Jew.

    2. hooray4anything

      I've said this once and I'll say this again….Leave Us Jews Alone!!!!!!
      Haven't we suffered enough?

    1. Gopherit

      I am pretty sure that Coulter's skin would boil off like hot candle wax if "she" tried to wear any holy symbol but a $ or a GOP elephant.

        1. poncho_pilot

          that reminds me of being sick once as a child with a Catholic grandmother who liked to sprinkle holy water on everything.

          child+fever+holy water=child screaming, "it burns. it burns."

  2. DaSandman

    She's trying to hedge her bets with Jeebus? Next a giant mirror ball so the gheys will get on board the Grifter Express…

  3. KathrynSane

    I know that quitting is in your blood, Sarah, but halfway through the End Times is not a good time to give up Christianity.

  4. Barbara_i

    Was she wandering around the green room, bitching at Bristol in a fakey Yiddish voice, " Oy vey, you never tweet, you never call?"

  5. Captain_Quark

    Why is this night unlike all other nights?
    Because Bristol now has a Jewish mother, which makes her an even greater disappointment than she was before.

    1. YasserArraFeck

      You know, there are those who consider her hot, milfy, whatever. However, based on that pic, I think we can safely declare the "Sarah Palin is Hot" era to be OVER

    2. Gopherit

      Willow's been a bit of a wild child. I wonder if the kid is Levy's, too? Keeping it all in the family.

  6. PabaBritannica

    This Obama, with his birth certificate. Can you believe this schmuck? You betcha it's fakakta!

  7. user-of-owls

    Given the Whirling Dervish that is her relationship to the English language, a more natural choice would have been Sufism.

    Or maybe Anti-Jainism.

    1. Mahousu

      Yes it is, but good luck getting the chalef through in one stroke. On an intact, unstunned animal.

  8. YasserArraFeck

    When her 15 minutes is up, here's hoping that the old bag will wander for ~40 years in the wilderness of obscurity, searching for a new gig/grift

    1. OneDollarJuana

      It's always a good day, or at least a satisfying day, to be an atheist. None of that religious angst needing to judge based on religion. We get to judge based on reality.

        1. tessiee

          "Yeah, but you have crappy jewelry. "

          What, you don't like the stimulated cubic zirconia necklace?

  9. Callyson

    “They’re hammering him about the one issue that he has brought up"
    Oh, those mean people in the media! Just because The Bankrupt One keeps bringing up the birther issue, they think they have the right to ask him questions about it! Next thing you know, they'll ask *me* what news sources I read or something…the horror!

  10. Dr_Zoidberg

    "long-running fictional soap opera Fox News Channel' – this is pure genius. I'm stealing this and using it at every chance.

  11. horsedreamer_1

    Willow is on good terms with "The Blacks".

    Or, are Black Gangster Disciples a different gang, entirely? (I don't know. It's years since I was in fifth grade.)

  12. widestanceroman

    So, as her relevance decreases, she's shedding garments and wearing sheer curtains for blouses?

    This is good news for Ken Layne.

  13. slithytoves

    “We need to fight so hard going into 2012 to get somebody elected who has executive experience — who hasn't been part of this herd mentality of trying to manage the public,” Palin said.

    I know it's been said before, but poor Trig, the apple sure doesn't fall far from the tree.

  14. user-of-owls

    Hey, Angel of Death! That wasn't the blood of a spring lamb on her parents' doorpost, it was friggin' Kool-Aid. Get back to work and finish the job, you layabout!

  15. TanzbodenKoenig

    She has achieved a heretofore unseen level of shameless pandering.

    I'm not even mad, I'm just impressed…

  16. weejee

    She's trying to finesse the Donald, but she doesn't recognize the hand is being played in no-Trump. She's just playing bridge (to nowhere).

    1. tessiee

      "She's trying to finesse the Donald"

      Well, he's already called dibs on The Cullid, so Sarah needs her group, too.

  17. SkinnyNerd

    Those are just six intertwined hockey sticks people. Its the international symbol of the hockey mom.

  18. Goonemeritus

    I look forward to her honoring Santeria with some appropriate jewelry for the upcoming holidays.

  19. user-of-owls

    See? I told you it would come to this, but no, all you did was prattle on that "all the cool kids are anti-apartheid." Well you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it. With all the mud-people.

    1. mereoblivion

      Kabbalah (just ask Madonna).
      Oops, that's Hebrew. So . . . I dunno, what IS yiddish for BLING?

        1. finallyhappy

          gelt is money. Maybe tsirung(Jewelry) or Diment tsirung(diamond jewelry). Sorry, don't know how to put Yiddish letters here

    1. tessiee

      Someone asked this question in my (Catholic) Sunday school class, and Sister Mary Elephant answered, "Yes, and the other Jews turned right around and killed him".

  20. Radio_Level_7

    Yeah, I wouldn't want anyone snooping around looking for Trig's birf certificate or anything.
    Funny, this is the one time she actually says anything supportive of Obama.

  21. DemonicRage

    May tie in to self-identification with Queen Esther that I seem to remember from a time when she actually had respectible polling numbers.

  22. meufchelou

    If she wants to be Jewish let her suffer as our people have: eat canned gelfite fish, paper masquerading as matzoh and drink Manichevitz concord grape wine for 10 days. (Actually I don't know anyone who can suffer through the last one for ten days.)

    1. thefrontpage

      I actually love Manischewiz wine, and I know many folks who also like it! It's sweet, but if you like sweet wine, it tastes great My family, and many other families who I know–all of whom are upper-crust, educated folks–love Manischewitz, and have drank it regularly for at least the past 40 years! It's actually pretty good! And people love gefilte fish and matzoh, too!

        1. finallyhappy

          Passover is 8 days! And the only good gefilte fish is the stuff my mom made- and she is dead. I thought the only people who still drank Manischewitz were really old people and alcoholics with little money

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        In a pinch, you can add 1 part vodka to 5 parts Welch's grape juice, and you're there.

  23. thefrontpage

    Palin was also seen recently having lunch in Beverly Hills with Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Billy Chrystal, Jeff Ross, Carrie Fisher, Adam Sandler, Mila Kunis (Jewish), Winona Ryder (Jewish), Lauren Bacall (Jewish) and Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg. Palin was also seen recently eating hot pastrami on rye with mustard, matzoh ball soup and a kosher pickle at the Carnegie Deli. Palin was also seen at a Passover seder Monday night in Pikesville, Baltimore. She was also recently seen at Friday night services at Beth Shalom Synagogue in Fairbanks, Alaska.

  24. KeepFnThatChicken

    The Ku Klux Klan has issued a press release saying "We think she's hot and all, but we won't commiserate with a Jew-lovin' bitch."

  25. Troubledog

    I dated a girl in Indiana that had a lawn jockey in front of her house. That's the closest I ever got to the american dream.

    1. reliefsinn

      Did they at least go over it with white paint? Those are considered acceptable around here.

      1. Troubledog

        Nope. White trousers. White and red checkered shirt. Red cap. The rest was black as the blackest night, except for the wide-open surprised looking eyes and the exaggeratedly pursed and huge pink lips.

        Edit: I went back and scanned thru some pics and now can provide photographic evidence, although my memory was off about the color of the pants :

        I asked her where she got it. She said a friend gave it to her, and it would be awkward to give it back. I asked if anyone ever commented on it. She said, "You mean negatively? No." She was genuinely surprised that anyone would find it offensive.

      2. Troubledog

        And before anyone says anything, she was a hottie AND totally depraved, okay? And it didn't end well. I will tell you the story sometime.

        Those stories belong to the weekend. That's why Wonkette needs a Weekend Editor. With all the cocksuckers writing drivel for free over at (everyplace) give the keys to somebody and let them start a couple threads over the weekend.

  26. Chet Kincaid

    This is because Larry David has signed her up for the next season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." She doesn't know the program is comedy and a mockumentary, so it will be the funniest season ever!!

  27. thescoots

    Jack (off) Stuff may be impressing the young and impressionable with adolescent, snarky commentary about any and all things conservative…especially Sarah Palin….but if he has a conscience, abeit one that is currently comatose…it will awaken one day. And when it does, it will say: "Whatever possessed the limited recesses of your mind to attack and belittle a small child with special needs?" To quote Our Lord, Mr. Steuf: "Whatsover you do unto the least of these…you do unto Me". Yessir….your conscience will awaken someday…and you will have no choice but to face yourself….if you are able.

    1. glamourdammerung

      I am not sure how describing Sarah Palin as a "small child with special needs" fits in with whining about Jack "picking on Palin".

    2. ThundercatHo

      When my dogs get "the scoots" I yell at them and put them outside. Try some Tucks they work better than carpeting.

    3. tessiee

      "to attack and belittle a small child with special needs?"

      It's true that Sarah is of below normal intelligence, but I think she's a bit old to be called a "small child".

    4. glamourdammerung

      Oh, and to also quote "Our Lord":

      There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

      So maybe you should think about the fact your god hates you for being a scumbag when you look in the mirror.

    5. realmurkin

      Oh wow, "Jack (off)". I see what you did there! Way to rise above adolescent humor, you hypocritical fuck.

    6. tessiee

      "to attack and belittle a small child with special needs"

      Will no one call this troll out on his clumsy use of a strawman argument?

      *heavy sigh*

      Very well, I'll do it myself, just like I have to do everything around here myself.

      Scooter, my dove, on the off-chance that you actually don't understand:

      We are *not* attacking and belittling *Trig*.

      We *are* attacking and belittling *Sarah*.

      One of many reasons *why* we're attacking and belittling Sarah is because she uses her special needs baby (and her other children) as a prop to garner attention and sympathy for herself, as well as to support her effort to take away *other* women's reproductive rights.

      If you don't want to read the comments of a group of people who find Sarah's ideology and methods repugnant, you probably shouldn't come to this site. If you chastise us for comments that no one has actually made, you just make yourself look like someone with poor reading comprehension.

      Hope that's clearer.

  28. DahBoner

    Isn't it funny how a "billionaire" like Trump needs the money from a reality show to get by…

  29. tessiee

    This is going to cause Sarah problems with the fans of the fetus. According to my friend Debbie, the Jewish faith believes that the fetus becomes a person when it is accepted to medical school.

      1. tessiee

        Is it too obvious a cheap shot to mention that I personally know several practicing lawyers who are abortions?

    1. GOPCrusher

      I really miss All In The Family, but sadly, today's TV viewers would probably think it's just another reality show.

  30. owhatever

    She is wearing it to celebrate that during this "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" time, sperms are no longer involved in birthing. Or at least, that's what Levi the Jew told Bristol.Long as no dirt gets in there, we're fine.

    1. tessiee

      Maybe by the time she adds the piece of palm from Palm Sunday, the four-leaf clover, the lucky penny, the miniature Buddha, the beckoning cat, the braid of garlic, the horseshoe, the lottery ticket, sage incense, and the lucky blue dot from the tabloid newspaper, everyone will have already gone home, and nobody will have to listen to her nonsense any more.

  31. BarackMyWorld

    “They’re hammering him about the one issue that he has brought up and not been shy about, and that’s the birth certificate. He’s answering reporters’ questions about his view on the birth certificate. And reporters turn that around and say that’s all he’s got,” she said, showing off her expert analysis.

    So….it's the reporters' fault he keeps talking about it? What the hell is she trying to say here?

    1. tessiee

      "They’re [journalists] hammering him [Trump] about the one issue that he has brought up and not been shy about, and that’s the birth certificate. He’s answering reporters’ questions about his view on the birth certificate. And reporters turn that around and say that’s all he’s got"

      So, by that logic, we can expect a denunciation like:

      "They’re [birthers] hammering him [Pres. Obama] about the one issue that he has brought up and not been shy about, and that’s the birth certificate. He’s answering [birther]s’ questions about the birth certificate. And [birther]s turn that around and say that’s all he’s got"

      in 3…

  32. hooray4anything

    I'm just waiting for the day when Sarah brings up the birther rumors while playing coy about it only to have the reporter bring up all the Trig rumors and ask to see her hospital records.

  33. MinAgain

    Meh. I happen to find the Star of David aesthetically pleasing, so I don't really mind it all that much, even though that one is a little ostentatious. On the bright side, perhaps she'll continue the tradition of wearing the symbols of significant Judeo-Christian liturgical events by setting herself on fire in honor of Pentecost.

  34. pdiddycornchips

    Well, to be perfectly honest, she's done more international traveling than our last Wingnut president did before he was elected/selected.

  35. lochnessmonster

    Just a little souvenir she picked up on her world travels to the Holy Land. Shows her solid with her new friends.

  36. PhilippePetain

    My dad is one of these nü-jews. At first, I couldn't wrap my head around the acrobatics of self-deception it must take to convince yourself that 144,000 white bread American evangelicals are going to be spared from a world-wide devil apocalypse despite the fact that there are like 10 million of them subscribing to this belief, but then I remembered, oh yeah, they're all fucking stupid.

  37. CessnaDriver

    Does this mean that fundies no longer believe that the Jooooze killed Christ?

    Alert the media!

    (It's Holy Week, by the way).

  38. Negropolis

    This has been a kind of common refrain from them on the birth certificate crap. It's like saying "all they want talk to him about is his holocaust denial, but he really has so much more!"

    Yes, Mrs. Lincoln, besides that, how was the play, indeed.

  39. thescoots

    for the libtards on here who were kind enough and able to read my comments regarding Trig and Jack Off Stuff's mindless attack on the kid….lets clear something up. He made those comments on another blog…and Wonkette is now feeling a bit butthurt from advertisers bailing…..Wait!….Can you smell it? Ah, yes….capitalism…..the smell of dollars being sucked out the back door thanks to Jack Off….Pass the popcorn….

  40. KarenJ503

    Palin's got the voice anyway — she's sounding more and more like Joan Rivers every day. Did you hear Palin's screeching at the 200-strong Koch-sponsored Teabagger rally in Wisconsin last Saturday?

    Come to think of it, Palin's LOOKING more and more like Joan Rivers every day, too.

  41. imsailing2

    Love how you guys disabled comments on your little fake apology about Trig Palin. Only the Regressives would attack a disabled toddler and then try to shield themselves. You truly are sickos.

  42. hawgrider

    That "Star of David" is not a religious symbol, it is a Cabalistic sigil (signet/symbol) of occult origin. It first came into common usage, when the notorious Rothschilds adopted it for their coat of arms. Gov. Palin wearing this object, tells all who know the sybolism, that she is an Illuminist/Luciferian.

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