Ku Klux Klan Distances Selves From Westboro Baptist Church, Tea Party

by Jack Stuef

The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. has not or EVER will have ANY connection with The “Westboro Baptist Church”. We absolutely repudiate their tactics of protesting the funerals of U.S. soldiers, men and women who die serving our Nation. We do NOT question their Christianity or right to speak, publish or preach. We agree with many of their teachings, especially that Homosexuality is an abomination before Yahvey God the Father.

Whew. Almost thought they were gay. Good thing they cleared that right up.

The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. Does NOT support or represent the “TEA PARTY”. Our Associates, members and supporters are here officially ordered: NOT to attend Tea Party events or support them in ANY way. The Tea Party does not represent any but a shallow limited political agenda, which fails to serve our Nations interests. They are an extension of the Republican Party and seek to compromise it. We do NOT support any political party, all have betrayed the trust of the American people, and they have compromised their agenda to support the Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people.

Haha, they just called the Teabaggers socialists. THIS is a fight we want to see. (And maybe it would give black people a little respite?) Where’s Think Progress on this? They need to introduce the Teabaggers to few KKKers and film it for our enjoyment. [KKK via Reddit]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 109 comments }

Barbara_i April 19, 2011 at 11:38 am

Yes, the KKK is so supportive of U.S. soldiers. What would be their show of respect? Lowering the burning crosses to half mast?

CliveWarren April 19, 2011 at 11:48 am

"Hang In There" motivational posters?

Barbara_i April 19, 2011 at 11:54 am

With a white cat?

$exy$murf April 19, 2011 at 11:43 am

Yahvey? When did the KKK start letting in Jews?

KenLayIsAlive April 19, 2011 at 11:45 am

That's Earl Wayne Yahvey. He owns a couple of car dealerships in Mobile. And he converted.

__kth__ April 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Joe Lieberman and Marty Peretz will lead Talmud classes for them, if they promise to support ethnically cleansing the occupied territories when the time is right.

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Yah, vey ist mir.

ShaveTheWhales April 19, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Splendid. I was just abou to suggest that they had misspelled "Oy veh".

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 19, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Oy, gestalt!

the_problem_child April 19, 2011 at 11:43 am

Klan: They're not racist enough for our tastes.

Teabaggers: They don't USE ENOUGH ALLCAPS for our tastes.

welfare_robot April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

All they share is a love of poor spelling.

Numbat_Dundee April 19, 2011 at 7:21 pm

A shame really, because those robes are soooooo slimming.

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:19 am

Someone needs to tell them that you don't wear white after Labor day, though. It's so passe.

BlueStateLibel April 19, 2011 at 11:44 am

It would be a great fight to watch–guys wearing hoods and robes waging battle against fat people in hoverrounds. I'd pay to see it.

Gopherit April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I dunno. Infantry, esp with their vision obscured by hoods, would have a hard time standing against the Rascal Cavalry.

Raoul Libpuke IV April 19, 2011 at 6:05 pm

You just know they'd eventually figure out they both hate the Blacks, then start totally making out on the battlefield. All those fat, sweaty, wrinkly, bearded hicks covered with grass stains and blood, getting on like high schools on prom night. And since any penetration would take place through a sheet it would definitely not be gay!

Rarian Rakista April 21, 2011 at 4:03 am

This is prime Wonkette meat.

CthuNHu April 19, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Isn't that exactly how Return of the Jedi starts out?

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:20 am

The two aren't mutually exclusive. I'd wager quite a few of the white hoods would be bescootered.

hagajim April 19, 2011 at 11:44 am

You know you've truly gone off the rails when you're a bunch of racist assholes and the Klan still doesn't want anything to do with you.

GOPCrusher April 19, 2011 at 5:50 pm

The White Aryan Resistance supports this message.

ChurchofRealism April 19, 2011 at 11:44 am

Cripple fight!!!!

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Tiiimmmmmieeeeeee!

OkieDokieDog April 19, 2011 at 11:45 am

They still hate Messicans and Joos and the coloreds, right?

HELisforHEL April 19, 2011 at 12:11 pm

And uppity wimmens types. Don't ferget that!

Guppy06 April 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm

And Catholics. Don't even get them started on Bobby Jindal.

Sue4466 April 19, 2011 at 11:45 am

When the KKK tells you to dial it back a notch or two, you know you've gone 'round the bend for sure.

Weenus299 April 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

So glad we cleared that up. Now, moving on to the End of Days …

nounverb911 April 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

"We do NOT support any political party, all have betrayed the trust of the American people, and they have compromised their agenda to support the Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people."
Since when is the KKK against slavery?

Guppy06 April 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

They're talking about the Dred Scott definition of "American people."

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

Funny. Even the assklowns of the KKK see who's pulling the strings of Teabaggers… everyone that is but the Teabaggers themselves.

Gopherit April 19, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Actually, I think the KKK are calling them stupid. Now that has to hurt.

Crank_Tango April 19, 2011 at 2:26 pm

George Soros?

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

First the Klan came for the Westboro Baptist,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't batshit crazy.

Then they came for the Tea Party,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't batshit crazy.

Then they came for the Republicans,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't batshit crazy.

Then they came for me
and there was no one batshit crazy enough to speak out for me.

Sue4466 April 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

"all have betrayed the trust of the American people, and they have compromised their agenda to support the Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people"

Ah, so it's just regressive enslavement of American (black) people the KKK supports. How nuanced of them.

Texan_Bulldog April 19, 2011 at 11:48 am

Wonder if the Klan knows the armed services (esp. the US Army) are comprised of LOTS of black/brown people? Guess it's probably okay to picket their funerals.

$exy$murf April 19, 2011 at 11:50 am

Notice the KKK's website is hosted down in Belize? Guess the race of the Prime Minister.

jus_wonderin April 19, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Okay, I didn't look at the photo. Navi?

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Belizian?

GOPCrusher April 19, 2011 at 5:52 pm

German?

SorosBot April 19, 2011 at 11:51 am

Of course, they wait until the teabaggers' party has dwindled to the point where all of their big state capital rallies yesterday only got a few dozen people each to distance themselves.

GuyClinch April 19, 2011 at 11:56 am

Well, I'm just happy Haley Barbour got some work writing press releases.

Lascauxcaveman April 19, 2011 at 11:57 am

Yes, the farther into the rightmost infra-red spectrum of the crazy right you go, you will find no end of subgroups that hate each other as much as they hate us normals. And the reason they hate each other is usually over some minor schismatic point like the preference of semi-automatic over fully automatic weapons, or that Saint John the Baptist was taller than Saint Peter.

This is why there are 1100 different denominations of Baptist churches in America, that vast majority of which have membership in double digits.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge,
about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well…are you religious or atheist?"

He said, "Religious."

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

He said, "Christian."

I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

He said, "Baptist!"

I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

He said, "Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed
Baptist Church of God?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879,
or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

–Emo Phillips

memzilla April 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I actually saw a snippet of a PBS documentary on which a white West Virginian claimed that he lived in a "very diverse" community because there were forty different flavors of Baptists living there.

SorosBot April 19, 2011 at 12:44 pm

It's strange to think of how many ways The Life of Brian is one of the most accurate depictions of humanity ever made.

Which reminds me I've got to watch it this Friday, which is the day to commit blasphemy and heresy.

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Fucking Peoples Front of Judea!

calibrit April 20, 2011 at 7:29 am

Splitters!

HuddledMass April 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Wreckers!

Oblios_Cap April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm

When the spiritual heirs of Nathan Forrest think you're loopy, you've gotta be way off the deep end.

weejee April 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm

So since the Klan is not a fan of teabagging, in the traditional sense, then it follows that they don't like the Teaparty.

*cogitate, cogitate, head asplodes*

Monsieur_Grumpe April 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Ouch! That has got to sting.

harry_palmer April 19, 2011 at 12:08 pm

These people are so embarassing it make them want to duck their head under a sheet or something.

BaldarTFlagass April 19, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Part 1
Well I've always lived, the country life
Got a double wide, and a second wife
The world outside my trailer was a mystery.
And my poppa, he didn't have a clue
Hated Spics and Jews, Chinks and Jigaboos
Said that whites were the greatest race in history.
Now I couldn't play, with the colored folks
Laugh at Cosby's jokes, or watch Diff'rent Strokes
I was content to leave them colored folks alone.
But then I got me some cable TV
I'm watching BET and Oprah Winfrey
I traded in my hood for a cellular phone.
Now ignorance just ain’t the way
Check out my website, and you’ll hear me say

I’m an open-minded redneck, pass the chitlins please
It’s okay if you are gay, or your car is Japanese
Cuz I shake hands with the Mexi-cans
And I’m glad we set the black man free
I’m an open-minded redneck
Hillbilly PC

BaldarTFlagass April 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Part 2
Now I changed my life, and I’ll tell you what
I date a sister now, with a ghetto butt
I spark up a J just to let the brothers know I’m down
And I even hang, with Latino bra’s
When they pass the joint, I just say Gracias!
Think I’ll move my trailer to the southside of town.
I don’t like David Duke, I think that he’s a jerk
But I love Whoopi Goldberg, I seen all her work
Man them Jews sure know just how to tell a joke.
But my favorite friends, Native Americans
Cuz they like gettin’ drunk, and bangin’ lesbians
So spark up the peace pipe brother for another toke.
Bowl of beans and rice looks good to me
Check out my dreadlocks, ya know I’m proud to be

(Chorus)

Don’t need no white to girl to get me loose
Cuz the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice
(repeat chorus)

I work with the kid that wrote this (singer/lead), these guys are great. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1qfCTOy6as

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm

…they have compromised their agenda to support the Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people.

Okay, who let the Klan know about the progressive plantations, where massa sits on the veranda while the slaves (the able ones over 18, anyway) toil in the fields with only a 15-minute break every two hours for calisthenics and fresh water, then home after a long eight-hour day so the brutes can pick up their children from playgroup, see the doctor and the dentist and are then forced to stay in their passive solar slave quarters where they're given only meager rations of free-range meats (for the carnivores) and fresh organic vegetables from the community garden? Dammit, if they hear about places like the South, they'll be escaping and integrating the restaurants, and we'll never find happy skilled labor to finish these wind turbines.

Badonkadonkette April 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Let my people go. Chag sameach Pesach, also.

Badonkadonkette April 19, 2011 at 12:17 pm

We absolutely repudiate their tactics of protesting the funerals of U.S. soldiers, men and women who die serving our Nation.

I hate these motherfuckers and the fact that they dishonor veterans basically by their very existence, but I'll give them this: they speak much better English than Sarah Palin.

ThundercatHo April 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I know but I still read it as refudiate. Guess by brain just automatically tries to translate dumbass.

Gopherit April 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I'm glad the Klan and Westboro were able to settle there differences. Only in coming together through their shared interest in the destruction of the mudpeople, fags, and Jews can they hope to make this a world fit for Jesus to come back and party.

emmelemm April 19, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Yes, note that it's not that both groups don't hate the browns, the Jews, the fags… It's merely a policy disagreement as to how to protest them. (Soldier's funeral vs. lawn cross burnin'.)

HELisforHEL April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I do hope these miscellaneous collapsing neocon platforms keep it up. Paranoids, delusionals and just plain bat-shit crazies all pointing fingers at one another denying their similarities. It's quite entertaining.

Chillwaver April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Remember that one time when Hitler tried to distance himself from the Nazi Party?

Schmannnity April 19, 2011 at 12:20 pm

This is a head fake. The Klan doesn't want its members undermining the TPers by showing up at their stupid "rallies." What's next, the Grand Dragon decries birthers?

trumpbly_joe April 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Progressive Socialist enslavement of the American people.

oh no they didn't.

KenLayIsAlive April 19, 2011 at 12:28 pm

They prefer the Feudal Fascist enslavement of the American people.

mavenmaven April 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm
KeepFnThatChicken April 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I don't know why the fuck not. If they didn't want to hang around browns, a tea party rally's as good as a Klan rally.

jus_wonderin April 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Has Sarah twatted on this yet??

GOPCrusher April 19, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I'm sure she will find this an opportunity to point it out as further proof that Tea Baggers aren't racists.

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm

"Yahvey God the Father" sounds suspiciously like that Wavy Gravy guy. My guess is he probably looks like him, too. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1

Callyson April 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Our Associates, members and supporters are here officially ordered: NOT to attend Tea Party events or support them in ANY way.
Gee, that wouldn't be jealousy I hear from the KKK, would it?

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:30 am

Even more than that, competition.

DaSandman April 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Gotta go buy some more tin foil for my head…

4tehlulz_lite April 19, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Jan Brewer and the KKK have told the teatards to stfu.

Can we have the reassuring warmth of nuclear holocaust please? This is getting nuts.

donner_froh April 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

The Klan is in trouble–they will soon need all the allies they can get since the price of cotton has risen so sharply recently. Unless they want to go with tacky polyester for those hoods and robes.

Zvi_Bleindmeis April 19, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Imagine the plight of the bedwetter Klansman, schvitzing under his rubber sheets.

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:31 am

Everybody knows that Klan robes are made in Bangladesh, these days.

philpjfry April 19, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Maybe the KKK will burn a rainbow flag on the lawn of Westboro's church. Good times

DemmeFatale April 19, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Ha, ha, ha!
What a headline!
Jack, are you auditioning for The Onion?

DaRooster April 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm

"The Tea Party does not represent any but a shallow limited political agenda, which fails to serve our Nations interests."

This is the KKK? Wow, they are the awesomest.

chascates April 19, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Burning Korans to incite violence is still OK by them, tho.

Redhead April 19, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I'm not sure what's more amusing – that the Klan thinks the tea party is too shallow and wants to forbid their members from being involved, or that the Klan actually uses better grammar than the tea party.

Terry April 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm

"progressive socialism", translation: we really really love the GOP and the teabaggers, but have been specifically been told by lawyers representing the Koch Brothers and Dick Armey that we can only do so in lightly veiled code.

KeepFnThatChicken April 19, 2011 at 2:31 pm

This is like the irony of how convicted rapists get along in prison — by getting raped. Imagine a press release about your group from the Klan saying "Fuck no! We don't want any part of 'em!"

comrad_darkness April 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I totally believe they're honest. Heck, they even used the word "repudiate".

comrad_darkness April 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Thank God, or Ra, or whoever it is.

June_Cleaver2.0 April 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Funniest title post ever!

MinAgain April 19, 2011 at 5:26 pm

KKK vs. Tea Partiers. Throw them in a mud pit, and we could sell tickets.

BZ1 April 19, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Yahvey God, the Father?????

GOPCrusher April 19, 2011 at 5:57 pm

When will the American Nazi Party weigh in to this fight?

WinterOuthouse April 19, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Jesus H Christ! KKK denounces Tea Party? Cue Glenn Beck conspiracy theory in 4, 3, 2,

WinterOuthouse April 19, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Why does Glenn Beck spell his name with double n at the end? It doesn't alter the pronunciation. Like spelling nunn or runn or sunn or donn

KenLayIsAlive April 19, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Because he is an idiot.

WinterOuthouse April 19, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Well, as long as there's a reason. I don't like him. His buzz cut hair reminds of my Dad. He irrates me. Enough said?

KenLayIsAlive April 19, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Yeah. I love that pic of him with a gun. he is such a fat dork.

ShaveTheWhales April 19, 2011 at 9:34 pm

So wait. The KKK is an LLC? I wonder in which state they're incorporated.

WinterOuthouse April 19, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Since their main camp is/was right out of Coeur d 'Alene Idaho, they're probably incorporated in Idaho. Nazi to the North, Mormons to the south all very orderly.

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:33 am

Oh, all of them, Katie.

Hatrabbit April 19, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Men getting together, under sheets, to end Gayness.

Wha?

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:13 am

Bumfights, y'all! Divide and conquer. They are giving us an opening. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

A limited liability? Who'd a thunk? Who are their lawyers and publicists?

Negropolis April 20, 2011 at 2:21 am

You guys know the true victim, here, right? Sarah Palin.

BTW, nobody puts Westboro in the corner. They cornered crazy.

[redacted]hse April 20, 2011 at 9:43 am

This is great news. I wasn't sure if I should join the KKK because occasionally they seem a little extreme. Now my mind is at ease; these reasonable fellows will make fine chums, and I'm off to the white sale at Bed N Bath.

mookwrthwilson April 20, 2011 at 11:31 am

I love how they have kukluxklan.biz…was .com taken???

ttommyunger April 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm

"Ku Klux Klan Distances Selves From Westboro Baptist Church, Tea Party." On the other hand, they'd really like to get those niggers out of the White House, sooner rather than later. That is all.

TheMeatmaker April 20, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Isn't Yahvey God a South African shaving cream?

DarkStar_88 April 21, 2011 at 11:26 am

*jawdrop*

You *know* you're too extreme when you've lost the KKK. A homegrown terrorist organization that used to burn crosses and people isn't repulsed by a whole lot.

pinkocommi April 21, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I'm pretty sure the only reason the KKK wears those long white sheets is to hide their neon pink toenails.

real_dc_native April 23, 2011 at 11:59 pm

They're catching on Natasha. We need a new plan to wreck the GOP.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: