THINGS YOU CAN NEVER UNSEE  11:50 am April 19, 2011

James O’Keefe Dances and Sings In Flamboyant YouTube Musical

by Riley Waggaman

For reasons which are sort of obvious, James O’Keefe donned his favorite Village People construction worker costume — the one with the assless chaps — and then sang a song about Mary Landrieu. What? “Dancing” and auto-tuned vomit starts at around 3:00. (Also, check out this video’s YouTube channel. We assume the “Favorite Videos” are all Flipcam close-ups of Andrew Breitbart’s wang? Close! One of two favorite videos is “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross.) Yup. Time to uninstall the Internet. Again. [Weigel via Wonkette operative "Luke"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 108 comments }

GuyClinch April 19, 2011 at 11:52 am

Will. Not. Watch.

Callyson April 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Very. Wise. Choice.

ShaveTheWhales April 19, 2011 at 9:34 pm

No. Fucking. Kidding.

Texan_Bulldog April 19, 2011 at 11:54 am

Riley, I'm a little concerned about your fixation with Breitbart. He's a bad man; you must resist his crazy lure!

ifthethunderdontgetya April 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Oh.My.Flying Spaghetti Monster.

P.S. People, you must play it.

For the baby LULZ that will be tossed into trashcans and dumpsters, unloved, if you don't.
~

under_score April 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm

And, you *must* watch to the end. I almost aborted some baby LULZ by clicking stop after the song and dance routine. But fortunately I was confused enough by Michael Jackson's feet making an appearance, so I did not miss the parkour and violence part of the vid.

GuanoFaucet April 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Needs more dildos. Besides O'Keefe, that is.

$exy$murf April 19, 2011 at 11:56 am

This should put an end to those rumors about him being gay.

LabRodent April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm

In the same way Obama COLB put a end to his not being born here.

Lucidamente1 April 19, 2011 at 11:56 am

If Weigel keeps this up, he may set himself on fire.

GuyClinch April 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Haha, see what you did there.

Chillwaver April 19, 2011 at 11:56 am

Once again, fuck you Andy Brietbart…

loulouroo April 19, 2011 at 11:58 am

Worst Kickstarter video EVER. I know he's desperate for money, but, really? Can we pull the plug on his 15 minutes and throw his scrawny ass in prison already? And, being apparently gay, I think he'll enjoy his time there.

PeaceWithHonor April 19, 2011 at 11:59 am

This douche makes Palin look presidential.

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Palin/O'Keefe 2012

BornInATrailer April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Someone is going to have to watch this for me, sorry.

EDIT: OK, I lied. Gayest video since "Outside" but unlike George Michael, this was truly terrible.

Schmannnity April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Vanilla Tool.

CliveWarren April 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm

But where were Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog?

OkieDokieDog April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Oh I hope James Dildo O'Keefe's assless chaps doesn't chafe his delicate under-developed boy parts. Surely Breitbart has some soothing lotion handy – just in case.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm

The spaz editing has given me a headache. This guy's attention must be measured in milliseconds.

SorosBot April 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Yeah um, I'm gonna take your word for this.

Raoul Libpuke IV April 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Sames here. Between Lee Harvey O’Keefe and Big Guv Sphincter Face…life's just too short

SorosBot April 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

I did try, but only made it about ten seconds. This guy is one of the biggest racist misogynist douchebags on the planet; I can't watching him bragging about being such a douche.

nounverb911 April 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Coming next week on American Idol: Sharon Angle and James O'keefe together at last!

weejee April 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Doing "Bess, You Is My Woman Now" from Porgy & Bess?

edit in response to the downfister

Doing "Bess, You Is My Woman Now" from Porgy & Bess while in blackface wearing Superfly era ho' & pimp outfits?

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm

And see, now you're positive… it worked!

$exy$murf April 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Where's Keyboard Cat when you need him?

CliveWarren April 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Saul Alinsky seems to have a cursor-fairy hovering around him at all times. A BLACK cursor-fairy!

BTW this video seems to be heavily edited so maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly.

prommie April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Thats a whole nother level of douchey assholish douchebaggery, there, when someone plea-bargains their criminal charges, and then releases a video taunting the victim of their crime. Its the kinda thing that makes prosecutors and judges upset, when you demonstrate that you think it was all just a funny ha ha jokey joke.

jus_wonderin April 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm

I pray his judge is watching. This is seriously something that upsets me.

Beowoof April 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Without his dad, O'Queef would be happily getting banged at Lewisburg Federal Prison right now. (Lewisberg is the home of the famous Toss My Salad Man).

prommie April 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm

You think O'Keefe would go for the jelly?

BaldarTFlagass April 19, 2011 at 1:08 pm

He'll make ya breakfast
He'll make ya toast
He don't use butter
He don't use cheese
He don't use jelly
Or any of these
He uses vaseline
He uses vaseline

GunToting[Redacted] April 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Upfist for the old Flaming Lips reference. OT – I used to DJ in college and I had a love/hate relationship with this album… Great songs, but the version we had was pressed on clear vinyl, which made it impossible to cue up any track but the first on each side.

slithytoves April 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Sorry, had to stop when the Michael Jackson moves came into play.

Gopherit April 19, 2011 at 12:06 pm

He is all about dignity. I bet Andy Breitbart has the version where he does this naked.

ChurchofRealism April 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Whilst thinking of young Riley…

Oblios_Cap April 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

The horror. The horror.

Wags, you've got to stop writing these posts that feature Andy. People will talk. More.

CliveWarren April 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm

How the hell do you even make fun of this?

ChurchofRealism April 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm

He needs to be fuck-sawed into oblivion for shitting on my eyes and ears like this…

whiterabid April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Why did I watch that? I don't want to know about this deviant subculture, even if they are going to end the republic and install our first dictator.

widestanceroman April 19, 2011 at 12:16 pm

This is as close to a JO'K sex tape as Wonkette would ever let us get, right?

And what are those white people doing with their bodies? They seem to be moving about to some end, but no clue is given as to why.

imissopus April 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm

This is as close to a JO'K sex tape as Wonkette JO'K would ever let us get. right?

Fixed.

trumpbly_joe April 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

WERES JAMES O'KEEFE'S PULITZER TONY!!!!?!

mavenmaven April 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm

How much for that girl with the black hair to the left behind him at 3:44?

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm

You know that scene in The Producers where the audience is just sitting there with their mouths open, completely flabbergasted by what they just saw?

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Okay, in the previous post the revolution was eating itself. Now the revolution is sucking its own dick. So not gonna watch. At least until I get home.

widestanceroman April 19, 2011 at 12:30 pm

You'll love the scene where he self-rims while Andy B. . .nah, I won't give out spoilers today.

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Yeah, my imagination's bad enough — reality will just make it worse.
And to clarify my comment above, I'm waiting until I get home so I can be properly sedated enough to watch the damn thing, not out of some prurient need for privacy. Ya sickos.

widestanceroman April 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Save 2/3s of your medication for afterward. You'll thank me later.

Nothingisamiss April 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

I do not expect that any of my meds are gonna wipe this out.

CapnFatback April 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Somewhere, Pat Boone is twitching uncontrollably.

ttommyunger April 20, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Now there's a picture. Douche collection achieving completion…

KeepFnThatChicken April 19, 2011 at 12:26 pm

The still which appears on my screen (nope! ain't gonna push "play") shows Andy Breitbart with a convenient hole in his face, in which to shove a bag filled with throbbing purple dicks.

prommie April 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm

The name of my imaginary rock band (of which I am the imaginary lead singer) has just been changed to The Throbbing Purple Dicks.

FlownOver April 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Breitbart always looks like someone just pulled a dick out of his mouth, and he's so sad about it.

baconzgood April 19, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Horrid GWAR cover.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2011 at 12:28 pm

You've been shit on by a Smooth Criminal!

frostbitefalls April 19, 2011 at 12:28 pm

What's with the gratuitous black guy? Same guy who was in "Friday," right?

Beowoof April 19, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Probably some poor guy that needed a job.

Callyson April 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I hereby apologize for each and every snarky remark I ever made about fans of classic (aka dinosaur) rock being stuck in a time warp. After hearing this, I now understand why some people simply won't take the chance of listening to something new…

phlox✔ April 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Well, he's got some moves. Sure, they're all bad moves. But still.
Plus, all those white people dancing (poorly) together hurt my brainz.

SmutBoffin April 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Wait, didn't O'Keefe go broke? Where did he get the monies for a film crew and da fly gurlz?

metamarcisf April 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

The Pulitzer Prizes were announced yesterday. Congratulations are in order to James O'Keefe who won in the Investigative Reporting category. His attempted seduction of a left wing female CNN reporter by trying to lure her onto a yacht for a evening of carnal debauchery exhibited tremendous courage. Way to go Jimmy, Your work here, along with the $10,000 award, will hopefully inspire a generation of undergraduate meth addicts to pursue a career in journalism

DahBoner April 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

This is a fraud!

The real James O'Keefe would have done this video in blackface

crybabyboehner April 19, 2011 at 1:18 pm

He is growing as an artist, that's all.

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Brietbart boy-toy jealousy.

waitforsugar April 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I got as far as "open your mouth and taste it" before the uncontrollable giggles/bile situation got out of hand.

Wags, you can always crash with me if you need to hide from Breitbart.

widestanceroman April 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

THIS is why I watched without sound. One sense must always be spared when looking at these things.

TanzbodenKoenig April 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

My favorite is when it opens with the scene of him smoking a cig that looks suspiciously like Breitbart's cock

widestanceroman April 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Both of which he chokes on off-screen, too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 19, 2011 at 12:44 pm

The last person I saw dance like that was Corey Haim, and we all know what happened to Corey Haim.

BklynIlluminati April 19, 2011 at 12:45 pm

So this is his coming out of the closet video? So proud of you James with you coming to terms with your identity!

loulouroo April 19, 2011 at 12:47 pm

As a New Orleans resident. I find this particularly revolting. I wonder if Judge Knowles enjoys being made fun of? Would this violate the terms of his probation? I sure hope so!

Beowoof April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Too bad those weren't real FBI agents with loaded guns.

hagajim April 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Ahhhh…you can always count on O'Queef to deliver the goods.

JoeBiteme April 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

This is the kind of critically poor judgement that renews my faith in the GOP…

timbo71351 April 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm

He and Breitbart both need big time ass whippings.

__kth__ April 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm

I don't get Scene I. Clearly he's turning tricks in an office building parking lot, so why would it represent some kind of martyrdom for him to get arrested for it?

DonnyKerabotsos April 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm

If O'Keefe keeps humiliating himself like this I just might have to send him a donation.

BaldarTFlagass April 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I hope he smokes 3 packs a day.

jus_wonderin April 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Cigarettes?

Allmighty_Manos April 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Stupid black masked anarchists do nothing but bother DC residents when they could be trying to scare the life out of this little shit.

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm

World's worst Dance Dance Revolution promo EVER.

__kth__ April 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

also, congratulations MSM: you fell for this guy's bullshit several times after knowing he'd lied to you about the ACORN prank.

mrblifil April 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Gay as hell.

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Honey please. Even hell isn't this gay.

mrblifil April 19, 2011 at 1:14 pm

And the Studio 54 whistles…presumably an homage to John "Mustache" Bolton, who was oh-so fly back in the dizzay.

imissopus April 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

If anyone needs me I'll be jumping off the nearest tall building.

crybabyboehner April 19, 2011 at 1:17 pm

If Crockett and Tubbs were gay, they would have been sipping martinis on a boat like James and his friend.

ThundercatHo April 19, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Could not make it past 3:19. White boy can't dance.

FidoMcCokefiend April 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

This is O'Keefe's "Trapped in a Closet". Which obviously means he'll be pissing on Brietbart shortly.

Buckminster April 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm

The dancing makes Bristol Palin look absolutely stellar!

FidoMcCokefiend April 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Props to everyone involved in shooting that video for not beating O'Keefe to death with a bag of dildos. There is no way I could control myself enough.

donner_froh April 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm

There might be some inducement to convince me to click on a video featuring that stupid motherfucker Breitbart but it hasn't happened yet. Watching James O'Keefe dance while waving his dick around (or whatever he does) makes it even more unlikely.

mrblifil April 19, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Fine I'll summarize it. James O'Keefe is a martyr under constant government surveillance and the target of blatant police brutality. But he rises above all this by singing to school students, as part of his community service, and soon he is being celebrated as a "cool guy," and girl's like him at last! Then the shit goes off the hook when he pulls out his impression of MJ from the "Billie Jean" video, while letting us know that accusations that his videos are heavily edited hurt him deeply inside. Oh and he brings back his irrepressible "pimp" character, secure in the knowledge that conservative frat boys will roar with laughter as if Falstaff had just walked on stage in Shakespeare's London. He also violently breaks a lot of glass in a fit of self-righteous pique. Then, while he's bumping uglies with various daughters of influential donors induced with the promise of sandwich coupons to appear in the video, some douchebag pretending he's an AD on a legitimate film shoot announces that "Mr. James O'Keefe" is released for the day. The multiple ironic levels this final sequence invokes with would fill a thesis at Columbia Film School.

Radio_Level_7 April 19, 2011 at 1:46 pm

34 seconds. He even smokes like a dick.

DerrickWildcat April 19, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Back in my day, the untouchables just started a band so girls would talk to them.

carlgt1 April 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I guess he's trying to be the anti-Assange?

bordo2 April 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm

When I think of tough guys, I always think of a skinny-assed white boy done up in Rutgers cool driving a Volvo (a fucking liberal Volvo???) and puffing on a cigarette as if for the first time. I think the 11-year-old girl who lives next door could kick the shit out of this paleface punk. God help him if he ever met a group of brothers.

I can't understand why O'Queefe and his fat overlord think this is a cool video, but I refuse to visit any Breitfart site because I don't want to give him the traffic. Can anyone enlighten me?

jakegittes April 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Is that Alito in the dance number?

WilliamHTaft April 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm

We can probably end his career if we just haphazardly splice in a few minutes of giant black man on skinny white guy porn. People would fall for it and it would only be slightly more gay than this.

iburl April 20, 2011 at 12:27 am

See what happens when William Hung rapes Justin Timberlake's Teabagging Aunt, Larry?

iburl April 20, 2011 at 12:33 am

Thanks for the bailout, suckers!
I'm going to Hollywood!!

ttommyunger April 20, 2011 at 12:26 pm

No sale, Riley. Not enough money in the world to induce me to watch anything involving any of these douchnozzles. Did enjoy the comments, though, as always.

rushevents April 20, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Gay slurs anyone? Anyone?

PhilippePetain April 20, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I love how there was that study a while back which showed that the conservatives don't understand satire, or what makes it funny. This video renders that study completely unecessary.

BaldarTFlagass April 19, 2011 at 1:33 pm

After all these years, I still find it hard to believe those guys are a bunch of Okies.

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