things you can never unsee

James O’Keefe Dances and Sings In Flamboyant YouTube Musical

For reasons which are sort of obvious, James O’Keefe donned his favorite Village People construction worker costume — the one with the assless chaps — and then sang a song about Mary Landrieu. What? “Dancing” and auto-tuned vomit starts at around 3:00. (Also, check out this video’s YouTube channel. We assume the “Favorite Videos” are all Flipcam close-ups of Andrew Breitbart’s wang? Close! One of two favorite videos is “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross.) Yup. Time to uninstall the Internet. Again. [Weigel via Wonkette operative “Luke”]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman
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  1. Texan_Bulldog

    Riley, I'm a little concerned about your fixation with Breitbart. He's a bad man; you must resist his crazy lure!

    1. under_score

      And, you *must* watch to the end. I almost aborted some baby LULZ by clicking stop after the song and dance routine. But fortunately I was confused enough by Michael Jackson's feet making an appearance, so I did not miss the parkour and violence part of the vid.

  2. loulouroo

    Worst Kickstarter video EVER. I know he's desperate for money, but, really? Can we pull the plug on his 15 minutes and throw his scrawny ass in prison already? And, being apparently gay, I think he'll enjoy his time there.

  3. BornInATrailer

    Someone is going to have to watch this for me, sorry.

    EDIT: OK, I lied. Gayest video since "Outside" but unlike George Michael, this was truly terrible.

  4. OkieDokieDog

    Oh I hope James Dildo O'Keefe's assless chaps doesn't chafe his delicate under-developed boy parts. Surely Breitbart has some soothing lotion handy – just in case.

    1. Raoul Libpuke IV

      Sames here. Between Lee Harvey O’Keefe and Big Guv Sphincter Face…life's just too short

      1. SorosBot

        I did try, but only made it about ten seconds. This guy is one of the biggest racist misogynist douchebags on the planet; I can't watching him bragging about being such a douche.

    1. weejee

      Doing "Bess, You Is My Woman Now" from Porgy & Bess?

      edit in response to the downfister

      Doing "Bess, You Is My Woman Now" from Porgy & Bess while in blackface wearing Superfly era ho' & pimp outfits?

  5. CliveWarren

    Saul Alinsky seems to have a cursor-fairy hovering around him at all times. A BLACK cursor-fairy!

    BTW this video seems to be heavily edited so maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly.

  6. prommie

    Thats a whole nother level of douchey assholish douchebaggery, there, when someone plea-bargains their criminal charges, and then releases a video taunting the victim of their crime. Its the kinda thing that makes prosecutors and judges upset, when you demonstrate that you think it was all just a funny ha ha jokey joke.

    1. Beowoof

      Without his dad, O'Queef would be happily getting banged at Lewisburg Federal Prison right now. (Lewisberg is the home of the famous Toss My Salad Man).

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          He'll make ya breakfast
          He'll make ya toast
          He don't use butter
          He don't use cheese
          He don't use jelly
          Or any of these
          He uses vaseline
          He uses vaseline

          1. GunToting[Redacted]

            Upfist for the old Flaming Lips reference. OT – I used to DJ in college and I had a love/hate relationship with this album… Great songs, but the version we had was pressed on clear vinyl, which made it impossible to cue up any track but the first on each side.

          2. BaldarTFlagass

            After all these years, I still find it hard to believe those guys are a bunch of Okies.

  7. Oblios_Cap

    The horror. The horror.

    Wags, you've got to stop writing these posts that feature Andy. People will talk. More.

  8. whiterabid

    Why did I watch that? I don't want to know about this deviant subculture, even if they are going to end the republic and install our first dictator.

  9. widestanceroman

    This is as close to a JO'K sex tape as Wonkette would ever let us get, right?

    And what are those white people doing with their bodies? They seem to be moving about to some end, but no clue is given as to why.

  10. Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    You know that scene in The Producers where the audience is just sitting there with their mouths open, completely flabbergasted by what they just saw?

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Okay, in the previous post the revolution was eating itself. Now the revolution is sucking its own dick. So not gonna watch. At least until I get home.

    1. widestanceroman

      You'll love the scene where he self-rims while Andy B. . .nah, I won't give out spoilers today.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Yeah, my imagination's bad enough — reality will just make it worse.
        And to clarify my comment above, I'm waiting until I get home so I can be properly sedated enough to watch the damn thing, not out of some prurient need for privacy. Ya sickos.

  12. KeepFnThatChicken

    The still which appears on my screen (nope! ain't gonna push "play") shows Andy Breitbart with a convenient hole in his face, in which to shove a bag filled with throbbing purple dicks.

    1. prommie

      The name of my imaginary rock band (of which I am the imaginary lead singer) has just been changed to The Throbbing Purple Dicks.

  13. Callyson

    I hereby apologize for each and every snarky remark I ever made about fans of classic (aka dinosaur) rock being stuck in a time warp. After hearing this, I now understand why some people simply won't take the chance of listening to something new…

  14. phlox✔

    Well, he's got some moves. Sure, they're all bad moves. But still.
    Plus, all those white people dancing (poorly) together hurt my brainz.

  15. SmutBoffin

    Wait, didn't O'Keefe go broke? Where did he get the monies for a film crew and da fly gurlz?

  16. metamarcisf

    The Pulitzer Prizes were announced yesterday. Congratulations are in order to James O'Keefe who won in the Investigative Reporting category. His attempted seduction of a left wing female CNN reporter by trying to lure her onto a yacht for a evening of carnal debauchery exhibited tremendous courage. Way to go Jimmy, Your work here, along with the $10,000 award, will hopefully inspire a generation of undergraduate meth addicts to pursue a career in journalism

  17. waitforsugar

    I got as far as "open your mouth and taste it" before the uncontrollable giggles/bile situation got out of hand.

    Wags, you can always crash with me if you need to hide from Breitbart.

    1. widestanceroman

      THIS is why I watched without sound. One sense must always be spared when looking at these things.

  18. TanzbodenKoenig

    My favorite is when it opens with the scene of him smoking a cig that looks suspiciously like Breitbart's cock

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The last person I saw dance like that was Corey Haim, and we all know what happened to Corey Haim.

  20. BklynIlluminati

    So this is his coming out of the closet video? So proud of you James with you coming to terms with your identity!

  21. loulouroo

    As a New Orleans resident. I find this particularly revolting. I wonder if Judge Knowles enjoys being made fun of? Would this violate the terms of his probation? I sure hope so!

  22. __kth__

    I don't get Scene I. Clearly he's turning tricks in an office building parking lot, so why would it represent some kind of martyrdom for him to get arrested for it?

  23. DonnyKerabotsos

    If O'Keefe keeps humiliating himself like this I just might have to send him a donation.

  24. Allmighty_Manos

    Stupid black masked anarchists do nothing but bother DC residents when they could be trying to scare the life out of this little shit.

  25. __kth__

    also, congratulations MSM: you fell for this guy's bullshit several times after knowing he'd lied to you about the ACORN prank.

  26. crybabyboehner

    If Crockett and Tubbs were gay, they would have been sipping martinis on a boat like James and his friend.

  27. FidoMcCokefiend

    This is O'Keefe's "Trapped in a Closet". Which obviously means he'll be pissing on Brietbart shortly.

  28. FidoMcCokefiend

    Props to everyone involved in shooting that video for not beating O'Keefe to death with a bag of dildos. There is no way I could control myself enough.

  29. donner_froh

    There might be some inducement to convince me to click on a video featuring that stupid motherfucker Breitbart but it hasn't happened yet. Watching James O'Keefe dance while waving his dick around (or whatever he does) makes it even more unlikely.

    1. mrblifil

      Fine I'll summarize it. James O'Keefe is a martyr under constant government surveillance and the target of blatant police brutality. But he rises above all this by singing to school students, as part of his community service, and soon he is being celebrated as a "cool guy," and girl's like him at last! Then the shit goes off the hook when he pulls out his impression of MJ from the "Billie Jean" video, while letting us know that accusations that his videos are heavily edited hurt him deeply inside. Oh and he brings back his irrepressible "pimp" character, secure in the knowledge that conservative frat boys will roar with laughter as if Falstaff had just walked on stage in Shakespeare's London. He also violently breaks a lot of glass in a fit of self-righteous pique. Then, while he's bumping uglies with various daughters of influential donors induced with the promise of sandwich coupons to appear in the video, some douchebag pretending he's an AD on a legitimate film shoot announces that "Mr. James O'Keefe" is released for the day. The multiple ironic levels this final sequence invokes with would fill a thesis at Columbia Film School.

  30. bordo2

    When I think of tough guys, I always think of a skinny-assed white boy done up in Rutgers cool driving a Volvo (a fucking liberal Volvo???) and puffing on a cigarette as if for the first time. I think the 11-year-old girl who lives next door could kick the shit out of this paleface punk. God help him if he ever met a group of brothers.

    I can't understand why O'Queefe and his fat overlord think this is a cool video, but I refuse to visit any Breitfart site because I don't want to give him the traffic. Can anyone enlighten me?

  31. WilliamHTaft

    We can probably end his career if we just haphazardly splice in a few minutes of giant black man on skinny white guy porn. People would fall for it and it would only be slightly more gay than this.

  32. ttommyunger

    No sale, Riley. Not enough money in the world to induce me to watch anything involving any of these douchnozzles. Did enjoy the comments, though, as always.

  33. PhilippePetain

    I love how there was that study a while back which showed that the conservatives don't understand satire, or what makes it funny. This video renders that study completely unecessary.

Comments are closed.