VIDEO HORROR: Sharron Angle Sings ‘God Bless the USA’

  ain't no doubt i love this gal


Well, the 2012 presidential race is over, babies. Sharron Angle, who stumbled briefly on the Road of Bones but will soon be Queen of the Apocalypse, rocked the Karaoke Weekend by bursting into song — the only song, if you are a True American. The Reagan Re-Election/Gulf War I stinker “God Bless the USA,” infamously recorded by proto-Joe Miller/Nashville Adult Contemporary star Lee Greenwood.

This is, of course, the worst piece of music ever recorded. It is the Blingee of patriotic songs, so cheap and crass and blinky, narrated by some pathetic loser, a sniveling victim of the American Class War. “At least I know I’m free,” yeah dude. That and an oxycontin stolen from your disabled sister’s medicine cabinet might just help you make it through the night. But did you know unemployed bro’s in Scandinavia were just cold gettin’ blowjobs in a hot tub, because of socialism?

Anyway, Sharron Angle is the new president of AmeriKKKa! [Via Wonkette super special operative "Dan T."]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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138 comments

  1. Barbara_i

    Break out the dress made of meat. Her new stage name should be "Lady Gag" I know that I did.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Gol-dangit, she's not firing a shotgun into the air while eating a slice of apple pie and kissing a baby. Why does Sharron Angle hate America?

    1. poncho_pilot

      or firing a baby eating a slice of apple into into the air while she's kissing a shotgun.

  3. natoslug

    Fuck me. We had to stand up and sing along to the Lee Greenwood shitstain of a song during basic training. There's no fucking way I'm clicking on that link.

    1. Ken Layne

      I know, I know. I heard it about 50 times a week when I was the beat reporter at Camp Pendleton leading up to Gulf War 1.0.

      I love country & western music, and could still tolerate country radio in the early '80s — Merle Haggard still had hits, and it was the last days of Waylon and George Jones and Emmylou Harris on the AM radio — but that fucking Lee Greenwood song was a harbinger of doom not only for country music but for the entire country. ALL DOWNHILL SINCE THEN NEVER FORGET.

      1. OkieDokieDog

        I'm listening to Waylon sing Old Five and Dimers Like Me right now. Hell of a voice. RIP.

      2. Radio_Level_7

        Funny, when I listened to this crap, Ipecac music, one of my initial thoughts was how far we have gotten away from Rock'n'Roll as a personal and political salve.
        The glossed, over-produced, predictable Nashville sound truly is maudlin nausea. But we can't give up on the roots of punkabilly music. Outlaw Country on Sirius, or even Wilco and the obscure country underground.
        Or put a Link Wray album on.

      3. natoslug

        My only exposure to country/western in the 80's was on the radio, so I figured ALL country music was on par with Lee Greenwood. It was years before I realised that Emmylou Harris and a few of the other musicians I listened to could be considered country. I figured country & western was where pop musicians went when they failed to reach the pinnacle of blandness in pop.

    2. CookiE_MonstA

      ME TOO! Then came Gulf War I and OMFG I got SO sick and tired of that song. Every single day at every event, it was like a auditory water torture, the slow drip that drives a hole in your brain.

    3. justkillmenow

      I met Lee Greenwood back in the late 80s when he was performing at the Knox County Fair. He stayed at the hotel where I was working. I could have killed him before that craptastic song was ever written. So sorry for failing you all.

      1. natoslug

        Unless you offed him in '86, you would have still failed me. And I'm fairly certain someone even worse would have replaced him. The shitty song industry is like a hydra. The only way you're going to get rid of it is to burn it down to the ground and salt the earth. Or maybe I'm thinking dandelions.

        1. ttommyunger

          So, you haven't learned to move your lips while remaining silent? I could no more sing that trainwreck of a song than I could fly.

  4. OkieDokieDog

    What? Where's the stanza about making lemonade out of incest babies. I want my money back on this concert.

    1. Barbara_i

      She's changed her stance on that. Now it's "when life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons"

      1. Fukui_sanYesOta

        Or "when life gives you lemons, shut up and try to swap them for that hip replacement you need"

  5. EdFlintstone

    I cannot hate that song enough. Lee Greenwood is the musical godfather of political retardation. Imagine the groupies this guy gets. Back-titted, white trash with stars and stripes granny panties trying to cover their overgrown red,white and blue haired 70's bush.

    1. Ken Layne

      This guy's groupies can't get off their hoverounds, and use 'sploded semi-truck tires for thongs.

      (I am only talking about the female groupies. The males all look like Dick Cheney and want Lee to "sing like a little boy," while wearing blackface.)

  6. KeepFnThatChicken

    The song was great, once. Now that it's part of the typical tearjerker rotation, it has lost its merit, much like the legend of Yankee Doodle — except in that awkward, "please stop singing, goddammit!" way. I remember (twenty years ago) that the song was part of the Independence Day b-loops for TV stations across the country; slightly schlocky, but what else are you going to do?

    Because, unlike The Star Spangled Banner, real patriotic songs don't have any fucking words. Stars & Stripes Forevermusically runs fat-free circles around all that other kitsch.

    1. Guppy06

      Could always dig out "Hail Columbia" or "Columbia, Gem of the Ocean," but they live in America, not Colombia.

      1. KeepFnThatChicken

        Man, I could almost feel the downfisting.

        Maybe it's environmental, since I grew up in the south. But when debauchery and drinking were all else that was playing (and I was too young to drink or "debauch"), the song itself was a pretty refrain… and it contrasted nicely to everything else around, back in 1984. It ain't like I listened to it as often as "Electric Avenue"; I wore that single out!

        I've divorced since then, failed algebra, and resigned myself to the horrors of the Dubya administration. So when I say "great, once" I meant it. When I was 15.

        I deserve a pass. Really.

    2. Negropolis

      The song was great, once.

      I feel like I'm missing something, here. I hope I'm missing something, here.

      1. MadBrahms

        Well, instead of great, can we use "awesome"? As in, "inspiring awe"? I'm filled with awe at just how insipid the lyrics are, at the overwrought melody, and at the inexplicable popularity of the song. Definitely awesome.

        Also, awesome in the sense of "inspiring fear or dread", because every time I hear it, it sounds like the death knell of America.

  7. El Pinche

    She didn't sing my favorite part..
    "Eagles are bald, and so am I…if you're from you Europe, you can suck my dick."

    1. Negropolis

      Hey, that doesn't rhyme. That doesn't rhyme at all.

      Now, 'scuse my while I kiss this pie…

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      I've nothing against little Trig and hope he has a great life despite the shitty hand life has dealt him (i.e. his family)

      Angle, however, will haunt my dreams like a squealing veal after a particularly nasty halal meat accident.

    2. yyyaz

      This is exactly the type of witless and inartful self-immolation that prevents me from sleeping.

  8. PuckStopsHere

    Hey, Lee (and Sharron): Why don't all 'ya'll just go and stand next to some poor bastard who is under fire in Afghanistan for the sake of a gas pipeline instead of merely singing that you would be proud so to do. Phucking phonies. Suck my balls. What's that called again? Oh, yeah. Teabagging, isn't it?

  9. Doktor Zoom

    As a certified elitist (I aced the written exam but lost points for knowing all the lyrics to "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island"), I detest this song. It is cheap, mawkish pandering to mindless, jingoistic triumphalism. And then the Guilty Librul deep inside says, but wait, is this not the music of the Common People, whom you so loudly claim to love, and whose interests you claim will best be advanced by the economic and social policies you support? And I find myself in a right Dither, I do.

    But then I make my inner Guilty Librul listen to a few bars of that musical abortion, and he shuts up. We put on Woody Guthrie's "Dust Bowl Ballads" and we both feel much better.

    1. emmelemm

      "This Land Is Your Land" is where it's at, man. {no snark}

      I was a child in the 70s. There was a lot of: "This Land Is Your Land", "We Shall Overcome", and "Free To Be You And Me". Good times. Not as good times any more.

    1. OkieDokieDog

      I've had a couple of tokes and taken a Soma, so that helps with the pain… of listening to her "sing".

  10. CapnFatback

    ♪ "And there ain't no doubt I love this laaaaand–that is to say, the parts of this land unblemished with dark skin, untarnished by the blight of poverty, unsullied by the effette debauchery of alternative lifestyles, uncomplicated with nuance and fancy liberal livin' (DEEP BREATH)–God bless MY Yoo-Ess-Aay!"♫

  11. Ohforcripessake

    Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than a postal-guy taking a dump next to a shed..

  12. Fukui_sanYesOta

    Some great pictures of this well-attended rally right here

    There's a elderly gentleman with what I assume is supposed to be an ironically misspelled sign, but it's so hard to tell with teabaggers.

    edit: Hmmm, correct me if I'm wrong, but in picture four it seems as if half these people are camped out in a graveyard.

  13. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    I hate this song more that any other. Ugly tune, ugly sentiment, and you hear it everywhere. However, I was amused to learn from Wikipedia that Irving Berlin cribbed this song from a Yiddish theater tune called "When the Mose with the Nose leads the Band". Maybe we should all start singing the original words?

  14. bumfug

    Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. I knew I shouldn't listen but fuck me, I did anyway. That song is to music what a Donald Trump presidential campaign is to the American political process – an example of how base and stupid shit can be and still excite the slobbering masses.

  15. aisai

    A terrible song, sang by a terrible person. I feel dirty and ashamed having listened to that. It's as if her grating voice was being rammed through my earholes over and over again.

  16. Negropolis

    I don't know if all of her is healthy, some her kind of looks a little Down's Syndromey to me…

    Queen of the Apocalypse, eh? That's one of my favorite bands.

  17. pinkocommi

    True story. The last time I landed at LAX after traveling abroad, the Customs/Border Patrol played a video — on a non-stop loop, mind you — set to that fucking Lee Greenwood "Proud to be an American" song. I had to hear it for more than an hour straight.

    My "favorite" lines are "And I'm proud to be an American, / where at least I know I'm free" – the implication being that, yeah, I know we are totally fucked, but I have to take solace in something.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Ya know, if someone had the resourses a great video would be masses of white's singing this song (North Korea style) in whatever the Teatard uniform is…nowadays.

  18. crybabyboehner

    I'm glad nobody has called this piece of shit a "country" song.

    It is however a prime example of the hideous cancer that Mr. Layne calls "Nashville Adult Contemporary." No Nudie suits, no ice-pick treble Telecasters, no Hank overdosing in the back seat. Just focus group tested crap. .

  19. tribbzthesquidz

    O Brother. Country music is the soundtrack to your being molested by your uncle Ricky. Country music, even the old stuff everyone finds acceptable, is fake, phony, and choc full of racially loaded and coded cultural garbage that won't be missed by anyone some fine day.

    1. CookiE_MonstA

      It strikes me as the blues of the the deluded white trash. ~We're poor as hell but we like it that way cause rich folks are just fancy pants elitists. Salt of the earth and by that I mean salty, crude and base and we like it that way. We're proud to be ignorant red necks and if you can't accept that we will hunt you down and lynch you like a coon.~ They stuff that isn't like that probably would have been regular pop music if Nashville wasn't so damned popular.

    1. tribbzthesquidz

      Classic Rawk is also a nice place to go for white-person aural self-validation. Your molesty uncle Ricky jams to it on his paper route.

  20. MrFizzy

    Was that a swastika or a confederate flag waving in the background? I can't tell the difference sometimes. It's always heartening to hear some pear-shaped piece of shit like Angle going on about respecting those who died in defense of the country – when's the last time you did something honorable Sharron?

  21. widget2011

    Completely off topic but, Governor Rick Perry wants to call Texas a disaster area. Is that something new? I just wonder, what kind of moron decides it's a great idea to start a "brush fire" when it's drier than a popcorn fart? GWB?

  22. neiltheblaze

    I'd say she should knock off the singing and stick with politics – but actually, she should quit that too.

  23. ThundercatHo

    This is exactly why karaoke typically involves alcohol and lots of it. Maybe some pot as well to keep from vomiting.

    1. ttommyunger

      What a trio that would be: Keith, Greenwood and the Angler! I'm making some calls, asshole!

  24. freakishlywrong

    Even though they've withered down to nothing, and yet are covered breathlessly by the "media", I still have no idea what the teabillys want. They're right wing cons who support the wealthy and corporations, despise their own government, and are somehow portrayed as patriots. They're impossibly ignorant and easily swayed, yet are depicted as "independent grassroots activists". They're frauds. Ginned up by a coupla billionaires and a right wing propaganda broadcast station. How come it's only us libruls who see through that shit?

    1. Negropolis

      Once the media finds a convenient narrative they squeeze the fucker till it bleeds out, 'till it is tenable no more. Fortunately, I feel like we're nearing that point with the tea party. The bloom will be off the blossom soon enough, at least I hope so. I mean, they honestly can't keep up this charade of the tea party being anything else than an astroturfed fad can they?

      1. freakishlywrong

        You mean like the charade that tax cuts for the wealthy create jobs and don't need to be offset so's not to add to the defect? They've managed to keep up that bewlshit for nigh ten years.

    2. CookiE_MonstA

      I honestly think that most folks don't think that deeply. I heard on the radio this morning, a guy in SC saying that the gubermint needs to cut more, a trillion dollars cut from the budget. He has no idea what he is talking about. Anyone looking at a pie chart of an overview of the budget could see that. Why does no one ever challenge these dolts on their ideas? Are they aware that Social Security took in $865 billion but only paid out $701 billion? Do they realize that the department that spends the most borrowed money is the DoD?

  25. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm not clicking on that for the very same reason I won't go into any bar that advertises Karaoke night.

  26. Oblios_Cap

    If it ain't a Woody Gutherie, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young or John Mellencamp song about America, it's probably a crock of shit.

  27. Allmighty_Manos

    Woody Gutherie wrote This Land is Your Land because he was sick of hearing God Bless America, which he thought sucked. Imagine what Guthrie would have written if he was forced to listen to Lee Greenwood.

  28. CrunchyKnee

    I would rather put my penis into Sarah Palin's gaping "lady" parts than click that link at 6:47 A.M.

  29. DaSandman

    Fucking traitor. The song was written by a goddam Canadian! You know, the Socialists of the North.

  30. DashboardBuddha

    That's some powerful mojo, that video. My ears began to bleed just as my mouse was hovering over the link.

  31. metamarcisf

    It's a tremendous tune but I, for one, am tired of lazy celebrities botching the lyrics. Did Francis Scott Key screw up the words when he performed at Fort Sumter 150 years ago?

  32. trumpbly_joe

    I don't think you guys are appreciating some of the subtle literary qualities of this song. For example:

    One of the lines reads, "God Bless the USA". And yet, this song itself, to say nothing of this rousing rendition preformed by Sharron Angle, could itself be taken as ironclad proof that there is no God. Thus, irony.

  33. redamanda

    That song is shit compared to real American stuff about truckers, whores and cheap beer.

  34. SorosBot

    I have never heard of either Lee Greenwood or this song, outside of snarky references here. Should I feel lucky?

  35. genxr

    It was worth sitting through that video just to see her do the lounge lizard thing, point to a member of the audience and say, "Next to you!"

  36. Gopherit

    I have never wanted to hate America before this. Thanks, Sharron. Can you do "Turn the Page" next?

  37. timbo71351

    That song makes me want to have anal sex on top of an American flag with a 13-year-old Thai ladyboy. If you like this song, you are a person I want to have nothing to do with.

  38. poncho_pilot

    "Here were produced rubbishy newspapers containing almost nothing except sport, crime and astrology, sensational five-cent novelettes, films oozing with sex, and sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a
    special kind of kaleidoscope known as a versificator."

    "The tune had been haunting London for weeks past. It was one of countless
    similar songs published for the benefit of the proles by a sub-section of the Music
    Department. The words of these songs were composed without any human intervention whatever on an instrument known as a versificator. But the woman
    sang so tunefully as to turn the dreadful rubbish into an almost pleasant sound."

  39. ttommyunger

    I just had the best idea ever: The singing trio of Greenwood, Toby Keith and the Angler with Palin and Bachmann jumping rope topless in the background in time with the music… Genius! Is there a Pulitzer Prize for "Most Gross"?

  40. ttommyunger

    Armed Forces have become politicized. Not a problem in 50's, 60's and 70's when I was in. Sad.

    1. natoslug

      I don't know that the Army was politicized in the eighties. At my training and duty stations, the focus was all on being ready to kill Ivan. Although there was a rather annoying religious influence — I was essentially ordered to start attending a local Baptist church so that I could curry favor with the officer in charge of inspecting our arms room. I never did get to kill that damned Ivan.

      1. ttommyunger

        Good thing for all of us. Ivan is one tough motherfucker. I advised my son to attend a local Baptist Church as well. He was a Tanker Sergeant stationed at Ft. Knox and complaining he couldn't get laid. He did, and he did. Worked out well, though. Great marriage for l8 years now. He's now a Major, my Grandson enters Vanderbilt this fall.

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