CALIPHED  2:51 pm April 18, 2011

Crazy People Upset Glenn Beck Keeps Stealing Their ‘Research’ Uncredited

by Jack Stuef

The real Sharia was right here under our noses.The mentally ill work hard for their crazy, yet these days they’re easily exploited for profit by politicians and reality television shows. And it’s not just slimy broken human beings who take advantage of them, it’s also the mentally ill titans of the conspiracy theory industry: Big Crazy. Glenn Beck, the greatest titan of them all, is guilty too, according to a report from rival webzine The Daily Caller. Beck likes to take the work of dedidcated insane people, like Pamela Gellar, who devotes all of her time fighting Muslim terrorists only she can see, with her special “gift,” and Robert Spencer of Jihad Watch, who is convinced he will become Muslim if he drinks just a drop of a certain soup brand. Yes, Glenn Beck makes millions of dollars on the backs of other crazies without citing them. It’s almost like he’s embarrassed he gets all his information from discredited unstable Internet creatures.

How low does Glenn stoop? He steals his stuff from Associated Content. Associated Content! The thing that strings together a list of common-search engine terms and calls it a story!

Douglas Stewart, a blogger for Yahoo’s Associated Content, wrote an article recently describing how the State Department likely knew about the Egyptian uprising before it happened. He sent his story to several radio producers, including Beck’s, hoping to publicize it. While Beck did mention his name on the air, Stewart said he was shocked to hear the host read almost his entire article on the air, virtually verbatim, as if it were his own.

A short time later, Stewart found seven paragraphs of his own material pasted into a “study guide” about Egypt on GlennBeck.com. There was no indication that Stewart had written it. Stewart complained in two separate emails to Beck’s webmaster, but never received a response.

“I took on writing at Associated Content in order to try and generate a meager amount of cash – they pay you $1.50 per ten thousand page views,” Stewart says. An acknowledgment from Beck might have driven significant traffic to Stewart’s posts. Instead, Stewart complains, Beck “has given almost zero credit.”

It’s almost like Glenn Beck is plotting against his tribe of crazies, using them for his own mysterious self-interest. There’s a word for this. It starts with letter “c.” And it ends in “onspiracy.” And also it ends in the death of all white people. [Daily Caller]

 
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{ 195 comments }

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm

This is why we really need more stringent Anti-Mistrust Laws.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Many years ago, a friend who went to law school (like your Writey), mentioned that he'd be joining a large Houston TX law firm after graduation. I asked him what he'd be doing, and he said, "Antitrust work." After a brief pause, he murmured, "Pro-trust, actually."

BaldarTFlagass April 18, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Wow, $1.50 per 10,000 page views. Dude's on the road to Dagnytaggartville.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm

He also loses 1.5 IQ points for every 10,000 page views, so it's a lose-lose situation.

Tundra Grifter April 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Reminds me of the classic bumpersticker:

"The voices told me to stay home today and clean my guns."

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 18, 2011 at 3:20 pm

OMG, that's the best ever!

Intolerant Wonkateer April 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Funny, bumperstickers are Beck's second source for news.

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 4:56 pm

So unless you saw that vehicle in said vehicle owner's driveway, those voices are gonna be pissed.

Tundra Grifter April 18, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Y'all are just jealous cause the voices talk to ME!

SorosBot April 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Sure, Beck may have ripped off the crazy racists' rantings, but did they illustrate their paranoid fantasies with convenient chalkboard charts? I think not.

chicken_thief April 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm

And he was undoubtedly doing them a favor. I mean, he stole their shit, thereby validating their paranoia. Now they can feel good about themselves!!!

Rotundo_ April 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Isn't it fun to watch right wing loonies getting hosed by their own? What on earth did they expect from a former shock jock scumbag? Just because he leaned in their direction meant that he had the journalistic integrity of Murrow? I bet they have a "guy" in the used car business that "takes care of" them too. Every one a creampuff…

WinterOuthouse April 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Unstable!? Well, I never…
Pam

horsedreamer_1 April 18, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Glenn Beck is the Paul's Boutique of commentary.

Oblios_Cap April 18, 2011 at 2:58 pm

It’s almost like Glenn Beck is plotting against his tribe of crazies, using them for his own mysterious self-interest. There’s a word for this.

"Capitalism"

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Communism is the exploitation of man by his fellow man. Capitalism is just the reverse.

Goonemeritus April 18, 2011 at 2:58 pm

It sucks laboring in the crazy sweatshop knowing your crazy oppressor is getting all the credit.

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 3:32 pm

It's like he needs a Union or something: United Workers for Weaving the Crazy.

horsedreamer_1 April 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Now that Walker, & Snyder, & the rest are outlawing the Union Left, they can usurp the UFCW & become the United Federation of Crazy Wingtards.

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm

…and the Wobblies wept for shame.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Amalgamated Crazy Workers (apologies to the wonderful, real ACW, formed, if I recall correctly, in the wake of the Triangle fire).

OneDollarJuana April 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Beck is just capitalizing on a cheap resource. He'd have to be CRAZY not to take advantage of this stuff!

OhNoGuy April 18, 2011 at 9:47 pm

This is like finding gold on the ground & picking it up.

freakishlywrong April 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

So, this crazy asshole cribs all his shit from discredited internet types and then mainstreams that shit so CNN has to have one their patented "discussions" that masquerade as "news"?
"Glenn Beck-bloated hate filled pink balloon-or Howard Beale"? You decide.

Tundra Grifter April 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Compare and contrast to Boss BlunderRush and Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity, who have been mining daily Republican National Committee pre-packaged talking points and The Sludge Retort "content" for years. Which is only fair, as Sludge "aggregates" the work of others.

Then there's Off-the-Mark Levin, who quite happily spends so much time reading from his own books and otherwise quoting himself. And talking to himself, answering questions he's first asked in his mind…

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Wow, I just notice my p-rating hit 120. Thanks to everyone who helped. I sincerely appreciate it.
I hauled manure and mulch and planted my veggie garden outside, did the grocery shopping and washed the car and never noticed the 120 mark. See what you can accomplish when you don't waste time watching Glenn Beck and his prattle for the dead show?

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Well it's just unseemly if you ask me. A flashy 120p orchid rather than an understated, humble 109p dandelion.

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I hit you with upfists of fury. (Bacon too)

PsycWench April 18, 2011 at 3:32 pm

109p is more like a marigold, while 107p is like one of those violets that would be very pretty if it weren't invading your yard.
Actually I like them in the yard but a lot of people don't. Maybe people with 120p?

Intolerant Wonkateer April 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

When/if my pee hits three figures I'm going to retire.

hellbabe April 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm

oh, pee score… Ive been so absorbed in the comments, ive not paid any attention to pee scores….well, ill fix that

BaldarTFlagass April 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I'd gladly give up all my P points and start from zero if I didn't have these fucking bull thistles throughout my back yard. They're like super-spiny dandelions on steroids, some are waist-high and the only way to get rid of them is soak the soil around and pull them by hand. Got most of them last year but still several days of pulling this year, my back yard looks like fucking Jurassic Park. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_thistle

PsycWench April 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I've had good success with Round-up. They wilt quickly, which I find satisfying.

riverside68 April 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Your icon looks like it could take out some thistles, if you can train it.

When Barbara_i's icon grows up is it going to look like yours?

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Better get busy, too, B_i, if you know what I mean. We don't have much time left before the Rapture on May 21.

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Writey, that date is easy for me to remember. It's my deceased Mother's birthday. Party at my house on May 20th, just in case.

Ducksworthy April 18, 2011 at 5:19 pm

If only. The burning lake, rivers of fire etc. etc. will be quite pleasant compared to living in a world inhabited by violent drooling mongoloid xtians walking the streets yelling Brains Brains. If the rapture takes them, I'll all for it.

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

You are truly the Goddess of Wonkette commenters. I bow down in awe.

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 4:52 pm

V, do I thank you or just have sex with you? Let me know.

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm

“Just” have sex? T’were a consummation devoutly to be wished…

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I would have also accepted "uh huh" as an answer.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 18, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Crazy™
???

SmutBoffin April 18, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Electronics retailers across the country will now sue over that (TM).

WinterOuthouse April 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Death of White People!!! Another reason why I KNOW Obamar was not born.

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Great, now I'm envisioning Obamar as MacDuff.

ProgressiveInga April 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

"Crazy" in what respect, Charlie?

Crank_Tango April 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

all of'em, katie.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm

You'll be here all week, I suppose…

EatsBabyDingos April 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Glenn is obviously "beginner" crazy. Intermediate" was my old neighbor in Texas who got mad at another neighbor for letting his dog crap on the other's lawn. Crazy neighbor finally had enough and crapped on the neighbor's yard. Twice.

See, Glenn, what you can aspire to?

Terry April 18, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Advanced crazy would be calling all the neighbors out into their front porches with a bull horn, then crapping on the guy's lawn.

trumpbly_joe April 18, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I've actually heard more than one story in the past couple of months where that exact dispute culminates in a shooting, invariably in Arizona or Alabama or Mississippi or Texas.

On the other hand, it's a good thing one or both parties had guns, or else that mundane neighborly dispute might have *really* gotten out of hand. You know, without guns, to deter each other from escalating the dispute to assault or murder or something.

Terry April 18, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I had a couple of neighbors in Texas, two twenty somethings who rented a house together. Each weekend, they'd get loaded, of course. The problem came when they loaded something else. They took to going out in their backyard around midnight, drunk as skunks, and holler about their God given right to have guns and then start shooting up into the air…inside the city limits…in a densely populated area. It's interesting how fast the cops arrive when you call 911 and say drunken men are firing guns around a residential area. It's also interesting that even in Texas that you can be thrown out of a rental after a string of gun related arrests on the property.

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm

You guys always remind me why I totally (heart) my neighbors.

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 5:20 pm

There was a nice but unheeding old guy on our block who always let his little Jack Russel crap on our lawn, even after my mom asked him to stop, politely, several times. I overheard her fretting over this one day, and that night got a shovel and piece of notepaper and gathered up a couple of weeks worth of Jack's leavings and wrote on the bottom "Your doggie left these behind in our yard. We'll keep returning them if he continues to do so," and placed the whole thing neatly arranged in a smiley face shape on his front porch.

My mom LOL'd when I told her why she never saw Mr Sanderson walking his dog anymore; he'd apparently changed his route.

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 5:13 pm

"It's also interesting that even in Texas that you can be thrown out of a rental after a string of gun related arrests on the property. "

When was this, the Coolidge administration?

Terry April 18, 2011 at 6:20 pm

While I AM old as dirt, this took place in the early 90's.

poncho_pilot April 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm

when he stabs his neighbor to death with a frozen dog turd then we'll talk.

AJW@[redacted] April 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm
wegot2dobetter April 18, 2011 at 5:56 pm

was he a mailman?

arihaya April 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

hey Beck why don't you just re-run The Birth of a Nation ?

it is in public domain, so you don't have to pay any royalties ..

ManchuCandidate April 18, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I'm shocked that the State Dept would know something about Egyptia before us plebes did. It's like they have direct access and personal relationships with folks in the Egyptia gubbiment or something. Or talk to the spooky looking Ivy League Company guy down the hall for info… hahaha–yeah I know like the CIA knows anything.

smokefilledfetus April 18, 2011 at 3:02 pm

'Jihad Watch'? Really? I actually thought that was a joke.

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Jihad Watch is just a front for their necessary cribbing for the Christian Martyrdom War on Christmas.

poncho_pilot April 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

does this mean we can look forward to a Galt's Gulch of crazy people?

"i will stop the motor crazy of the world…"

baconzgood April 18, 2011 at 3:04 pm

This is a perfect example of Wonkette-Sorros-Obama-Marxist-Olive Garden-Mooslim-Abba-Google-Vermont liberal Nazi's smearing Glenn with thier truth at what a fraud he is. COMMIES!!!!! Jack you're worse than Mao!

DownFist Troll April 18, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Crazies stealing from crazies….tsk tsk, what is the internet coming to. I ask you: Is there no honor left amongst the mentally ill?

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 5:14 pm

What's the point of honor when everybody else is working for the CIA?

OhNoGuy April 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm

When do I get my paycheck?

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 10:14 pm

There's the rub: being a spook is still a gubmint job. You actually want pay? I suppose you'll be asking for benefits and healthcare next!

slithytoves April 18, 2011 at 3:05 pm

See, I try to tell my students there are serious consequences when they plagiarize, but for some reason, they just don't seem to believe me.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

They believe you, but they think that "serious consequences" are good things. Because they're ignorant, also, too.

baconzgood April 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

"Stewart said he was shocked to hear the host read almost his entire article on the air"

I'm shocked that Glenn can hold paper and read with that jacket with the long tied together sleeves that he wears.

freakishlywrong April 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Holy fuck, talk about down the rabbit hole. We now have conspirators arguing over the intellectual ownership..of utter horse shit.

DaRooster April 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Ahhh, what a great place this is becoming… and Trump for Preznit.

OhNoGuy April 18, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I think horse shit actually has a use, this is more like dog shit ….or cat shit, speaking of Trump for President.

EdFlintstone April 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I always thought Glenn's sources had names like Martini, Billy Bibbit, Cheswick and Taber.

baconzgood April 18, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Kesey win!

Mumbletycurd April 18, 2011 at 3:20 pm

And like Beck's latest detractors,
Cheswick WANTS SOMETHING DONE!
.

yyyaz April 19, 2011 at 7:17 am

Billy Bibbit/Joey Smith, Martini/Moroni, all about as trustworthy as it gets. At least in Glennda's mind.

Chillwaver April 18, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Ha! The Crazies either didn't get the memo about Glenn falling back in to obscurity or they are trying to "milk the cow before it runs dry."

CapnFatback April 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm

In Beck's defense, according to MLA guidelines, when the original sources are fevered ancestral voices, one is not required to cite which head they choose as their vessel.

dr_giraud April 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm

When you wrote the word started with a "c," I was sure you were reaching for "capitalism." Or "cunt."

BaldarTFlagass April 18, 2011 at 3:46 pm

"Or cunt."

The Sarah Palin thread is further down the page.

Crank_Tango April 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm

i find it hard to believe that GLENN BECK is an irresponsible asshole. GLENN BECK people. GLENN FUCKING BECK.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Is no one trustworthy anymore?

Hera Sent Me April 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Some nuts may have had the crazy ideas first, but Glenn had the idea to gather them together into a single, reeking pile and make millions hawking it to other nuts.

You can't just think crazy, you have to thing big and crazy.

KeepFnThatChicken April 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Or get scared. I thought Glenn Beck had a great radio show — until September 11, 2001, that is. He went just pure batshit then.

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I can't imagine what he had to talk about, before then. Hockey? Football?

KeepFnThatChicken April 18, 2011 at 3:14 pm

$1.50 per ten thousand views? The grass is greener.

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 5:15 pm

This will be Jack's last post on Wonkette.

Fare la Volpe April 18, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I don't think 10,000 people even know Yahoo exists anymore.

SorosBot April 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Hey, my email resents that!

__kth__ April 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I used Yahoo! Mail all the way up until about a year ago, when some kind of virus thingy sent porno links to everyone in my Contacts (it didn't run to my taste in porn, is how I know I didn't drunk-send it).

Anyway, last I looked, Yahoo! lets you log into their system with your Google or Facebook ID. Which is pretty much the writing on the wall, one has to think.

freakishlywrong April 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Man, I hear ya Okie…it's fucking exhausting.

Sue4466 April 18, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Glenn Beck is Batshit Robin Hood.

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 18, 2011 at 3:19 pm

What could be more American than stealing the crazy and re-selling it wrapped up in a small-pox infected blanket!

Manifest Exceptionalism Unum!

SudsMcKenzie April 18, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Muslins would take a hand for this shit.

James Michael Curley April 18, 2011 at 3:20 pm

You wondered why they named it Yahoo?

Rosie_Scenario April 18, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Today we are all members of Big Crazy. Or not.

Gopherit April 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

And here I thought Glenn was a never-ending font of crazy. What a disappointment to find that he's just a plagiarizing hack.

trumpbly_joe April 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I'm pretty sure that once you're as big a fraud as Glenn Beck is, you don't actually get any extra demerits for academic dishonesty.

Seriously, between the race-baiting, the anti-semitism, the literally fascistic arguments he makes, the paranoid delusions that frequently dip further into megalomania, and the near-ceasless pissing on the legacies of every prominent historical figure ever? What's a little plagarism in that mix, as well?

Gopherit April 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm

But what does that mean in terms of my Degree from Glenn Beck U?

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Whoever actually wrote your dissertation there wants her degree back.

trumpbly_joe April 18, 2011 at 4:46 pm

She'll accept a royalty payment, but it needs to be in the form of gold-plated Goldline commemorative souvineer medallions.

PuckStopsHere April 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Well played, sir.

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Hey, mister, plagiarism is a 'big fucking deal.'[1] Didn't you 'get the memo'?[2] Do you want to go through life, 'fat, drunk and stupid'?[3] Look at the syllabus you, 'idiotic cunt!'[4] Oh, and 'get me a fucking drink already.'[5]

[1] Biden, Joe 2009.
[2] Trite Phrases, An Encyclopedia of 1998.
[3] Wormer, Dean Vernon in, eds. Lampoon & National, La maison des animaux. (trans.) 1993.
[4] Lizzie, Mme. L'Imey (various editions)
[5] Personal communications 1974-2011.

chascates April 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

The Christian Right wants things back the way they were in the 1700s. People's beliefs and educational progress have now returned to that level.

PsycWench April 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Except for fast food and Hoverrounds. Those can stay. And disability payments. They can also stay.

genxr April 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm

As long as they're paid for with taxes from those rich bi-coastal states.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm

And meth. Never forget the meth.

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Some of us humble folk are happy at 96, thank you.

Oh man. The garden needs to be turned doesn't it. No P points for that. Just salad greens. MMmmmmm arugula . . . .

Fare la Volpe April 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm

You're like the Koch Barbara: stealing all the p-points from the hard working p-class and hoarding it all to yourself. I can't feed my children with a meager 108 pee.

GOPCrusher April 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Agreed.
Seems kind of callous to be rubbing your p-ness in other people's faces.

Gleem_McShineys April 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm

If you get a callous from rubbing your p-ness, you aren't doing it wrong,
you're just doing it too much.

widestanceroman April 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I'm just about ready to bunker down in my sofa cushion fort where the world cannot find me and my snark can mend, so I'll just toss out a "You know who else stole research uncredited?" because the replies will cheer me up before I disappear for a while.

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Moses?

riverside68 April 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Joseph Smith

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Cleopatra?

comrad_darkness April 18, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Wait, what was the question again?

SayItWithWookies April 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm

It's too bad Mr. Stewart is poor and exploited, but I've got a compromise — every time Beck uses Mr. Stewart's work, Glenn pays Stewart $15.00 for the lost pageviews. So now instead of feeling poor and exploited, Mr. Stewart can feel poor, exploited and stupid. Glad we put this matter behind us.

Rotundo_ April 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm

A case of Top Ramen or two would probably be more agreable to someone in Stewarts line of work.

tessiee April 18, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Although not to Martha Stewart.

James Michael Curley April 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Pulitzers are out. Again! Nothing for Wonkette. I smell a fix!

MissTaken April 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Only because, yet again, there is no animated gif category. Robbed, I say!

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Also, is 'snark' even a category, too?

WhatTheHeck April 18, 2011 at 3:40 pm

These crazy people coulda been contendas on Fox tv but for one crazier guy who stole their thunder.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm

This is all quite explainable. Clearly the voices in Glenn's head telling him the secret truths behind world events are the same voices in these other's heads. Of course they sound the same when Glenn puts it on his chalk board. In fact, this proves that he is reporting them truly, because if he got it wrong, it wouldn't sound like he copied everything.

Warpde April 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm

What? No mention of the craziest crazy Alex Jones?
This must be a conspiracy going on here.

jus_wonderin April 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm

This sounds like a great first draft treatment for the pilot, "My Zombie Winter". Or, hey "Zombie, She Wrote".

meufchelou April 18, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Or "The Zombie House Rules"

GOPCrusher April 18, 2011 at 4:10 pm

"Two and a Half Zombies"

genxr April 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm

No way. That one zombie drinks too much!

genxr April 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm

My Dinner with Zombie

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm

"The Maltese Zombie."

"Forget it, Jake. It's Zombietown."

AngryGeometer April 18, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Guess Who's Coming To Eat My Brains For Dinner

meufchelou April 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm

The Human Stain and other Sauces

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Come to think of it, "The Ice Storm" would have been greatly improved if Ang Lee had included included some zombies.

jus_wonderin April 18, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Let's write it. 'Cuz the visual of Zombies and snow is awesome. And, you can't have sympathy for the doomed herione when there is a trail of Zombie parts littering the front walk. “Look behind the mailbox!!”

Nothingisamiss April 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm

The Overton Zombie

tessiee April 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm

"The Zombies of Madison County"?
"Clan of the Cave Zombies"?
"Confessions of a Zombie Shopaholic"?
"Harry Potter and the Decomposing Zombies"?
"Chicken Brain Soup for the Zombie Soul"?

johnnymeatworth April 18, 2011 at 3:53 pm

"The bread lobby keeps STOPPING MY RESEARCH!"
–Dr. Leo Spaceman

GOPCrusher April 18, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Seriously, isn't any written work made better when zombies are included?

MissTaken April 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is proof.

jus_wonderin April 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm

"An elderly Jewish widow living in Atlanta can no longer drive. Her son insists she allow him to hire a driver, which in the late Ought's meant a Zombie man. She resists any change in her life but, Poke, the driver is hired by her son. She refuses to allow him to drive her anywhere at first, but Poke slowly wins her over with his undead graces."

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Everything's better with a little bit of Zombie in it. Except Rob Zombie.

genxr April 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Who is…? Oh, nevermind.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I hear AB's IPO is next week, and Galleon has already locked up molto shares.

BlueStateLibel April 18, 2011 at 4:21 pm

So I guess all the "values" he likes to endlessly drone on about don't include "Thou shalt not steal."

donner_froh April 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Douglas Stewart and his comrades in crazy should get some of the new double reflecting tinfoil hats. They no only keep the bad guys, space aliens and Illuminati from taking over one's brain but they also make sure that the thoughts you need to keep secret from leaking out and being grabbed by Glenn Beck.

OhNoGuy April 18, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Stylish – you forgot to mention stylish. Everyone in Paris is wearing them.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I, for one, welcome our plagiarizing Overlords.

jus_wonderin April 18, 2011 at 4:32 pm

#NotIntendedToBeAOriginalIdeaOrConcept

__kth__ April 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm

'Conspiracy' only has one 'c'

also: cons piracy
!!

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Leaf her alone?

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Lettuce come together.

genxr April 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Glenn Beck was only trying to protect them from Obama's brown shirt union thugs who hunt down people who love freedom and ship them off to FEMA internment camps. They should be thanking him – privately, in secret.

tessiee April 18, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Does "brown" modify "shirt" or "thugs"?

genxr April 18, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Yes. Yes it does.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I do my own research. Why isn't he plagiarizing me?

weejee April 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

My guess is that your ▼research▼ contains what a good jihad watcher most fears – cogent thought.

Buckminster April 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

When Glenn Beck is feverishly squirreling away nuts, it's a sign of the coming ice age.

Ducksworthy April 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I'm counting on Beck to rehabilitate Ayn Rand's true love, the ideal man, William Edward Hickman. After all, Hickman was a sociopath like Ayn and Glenn, not bound by normal rules or any feeling for his fellow human beings. And he only lost if a few times, like the time he cut the 12 year old girl in half and stuffed her body cavity with bath towels before trading her for ransom. Also he was stupid. So a perfect conservatard.

SorosBot April 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

America by Unbeating Zombie Heart.

Nothingisamiss April 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm

yes.

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 4:54 pm

User, all we are saying is give p's a chance.

Ducksworthy April 18, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Again demonstrating that the p hierarchy is in fact a meritocracy. Well done.

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm

So this guy named Hal walks into a bar carrying an oval-shaped tinsmith's hammer in one hand and a sort of cruel guide in the techniques of spousal abuse in the other.

Bartender nervously asks him what he's having.

"Think I'll start off with an appetizer, any suggestions?"

"Of course," says bartender, and yells back to the cook, "Get me an order of Hal A Peen-o Pop 'Ers!"

Beetagger April 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I call Batshit.

widget2011 April 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm

If the Glenn Beck off on the side, with the gun shot the other Glenn Beck, would it be a homocide or suicide?
Would anyone care?

Sassomatic April 18, 2011 at 6:54 pm

All ur crazies are belong to me.

guangho April 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I didn't want to have to tell you this….the powers to be don't want you to know this…but…..and I'm sorry to be a bearer of bad news…the sky is blue! There, I said it!

Biel_ze_Bubba April 18, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Wait… there are “study guides” on GlennBeck.com? That's gotta be the El Dorado of crazy!

OhNoGuy April 18, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Got to see "Snow" the Norwegian, Nazi, zombie movie. I mean, if you have to watch a movie with subtitles.

genxr April 18, 2011 at 11:58 pm

It's okay. That's why we have "peer review."

CookiE_MonstA April 19, 2011 at 10:52 am

Glenn will never get my crazy cause it's leftist statist crazy, which is like red and green kryptonite. Teatonite? Teabagonite?

ttommyunger April 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

Crazy comes in, crazy goes out, never a miscommunication, never a royalty paid either, dickwad!

jstreeley April 27, 2011 at 11:52 am

Found a funny rant on how crazy Glen Beck is: http://www.thesmugalert.com

BaldarTFlagass April 18, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Tried it; I would need a 55-gallon drum and my yard would become an EPA superfund site. Tried mowing them, it took two tractor-mower belts at 45 bucks a pop to figure out the only way to do it was the stoop labor method. The stalks on some of them were as big around as my wrist.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I recommend slash-and-burn. Soak the yard w/ gasoline (if you wanna be green, use ethanol), drop a match and kiss those grass-busters g-bye.

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Honestly you elitists with your yards and gardens and topiaries and menageries of zoo animals are the kind of limousine liberals that the Righties like to make fun of, in their humble way. Real working class heroes live in condos and grow weed under grow-lights.

BaldarTFlagass April 18, 2011 at 5:16 pm

I was thinking about taking off and nuking the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Not sure where I'd sleep though.

DaRooster April 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I do that too… in my HOUSE… and go into the YARD to soak up beautiful rays of Plutoni… um… sunshine.

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:34 pm

[Coughing, waving smoke from his eyes] What?

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Hey Cheech, ya holdin'?

PsycWench April 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Until they spawn little tattletales. Can I come to your house?

WriteyWriterton April 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm

U-235: my favorite tanning source.

Lascauxcaveman April 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm

I killed a skunk today and my pee still languishes at a measly one-oh-eight. Oh well, maybe I'll get some weasels next. (I hope I get 'em all, before it's time to move the chicks out to their brand-new portable henhouse.)

Barbara_i April 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Lol, my icon hasn't hit puberty yet?

user-of-owls April 18, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Fukushima?

Guppy06 April 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Ah, so it was before Janet Reno and the ATF took everyone's guns away.

Terry April 18, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Yeah, true. Texas is gun free these days.

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm

As Stalin (maybe) said, sometimes quantity has a quality all its own. Make a lotta comments, getta lotta pee. Barbara_i gives good quantity and quality, it must be said. I just bang 'em out. Beats working.

Plus she offered to do me earlier today, so I can't say enough good things about her.

Chet Kincaid April 18, 2011 at 8:29 pm

That sounds like wiretap-safe code for a a whole BUNCH of illegal activity, my friend!

V572..whatever April 18, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Always steal from the best.

Nothingisamiss April 18, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Srsly, need the question.

Billy Bob Thornton?

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