Crazy People Upset Glenn Beck Keeps Stealing Their ‘Research’ Uncredited

The real Sharia was right here under our noses.The mentally ill work hard for their crazy, yet these days they’re easily exploited for profit by politicians and reality television shows. And it’s not just slimy broken human beings who take advantage of them, it’s also the mentally ill titans of the conspiracy theory industry: Big Crazy. Glenn Beck, the greatest titan of them all, is guilty too, according to a report from rival webzine The Daily Caller. Beck likes to take the work of dedidcated insane people, like Pamela Gellar, who devotes all of her time fighting Muslim terrorists only she can see, with her special “gift,” and Robert Spencer of Jihad Watch, who is convinced he will become Muslim if he drinks just a drop of a certain soup brand. Yes, Glenn Beck makes millions of dollars on the backs of other crazies without citing them. It’s almost like he’s embarrassed he gets all his information from discredited unstable Internet creatures.

How low does Glenn stoop? He steals his stuff from Associated Content. Associated Content! The thing that strings together a list of common-search engine terms and calls it a story!

Douglas Stewart, a blogger for Yahoo’s Associated Content, wrote an article recently describing how the State Department likely knew about the Egyptian uprising before it happened. He sent his story to several radio producers, including Beck’s, hoping to publicize it. While Beck did mention his name on the air, Stewart said he was shocked to hear the host read almost his entire article on the air, virtually verbatim, as if it were his own.

A short time later, Stewart found seven paragraphs of his own material pasted into a “study guide” about Egypt on There was no indication that Stewart had written it. Stewart complained in two separate emails to Beck’s webmaster, but never received a response.

“I took on writing at Associated Content in order to try and generate a meager amount of cash – they pay you $1.50 per ten thousand page views,” Stewart says. An acknowledgment from Beck might have driven significant traffic to Stewart’s posts. Instead, Stewart complains, Beck “has given almost zero credit.”

It’s almost like Glenn Beck is plotting against his tribe of crazies, using them for his own mysterious self-interest. There’s a word for this. It starts with letter “c.” And it ends in “onspiracy.” And also it ends in the death of all white people. [Daily Caller]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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    1. WriteyWriterton

      Many years ago, a friend who went to law school (like your Writey), mentioned that he'd be joining a large Houston TX law firm after graduation. I asked him what he'd be doing, and he said, "Antitrust work." After a brief pause, he murmured, "Pro-trust, actually."

    1. WriteyWriterton

      He also loses 1.5 IQ points for every 10,000 page views, so it's a lose-lose situation.

  1. Tundra Grifter

    Reminds me of the classic bumpersticker:

    "The voices told me to stay home today and clean my guns."

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      So unless you saw that vehicle in said vehicle owner's driveway, those voices are gonna be pissed.

  2. SorosBot

    Sure, Beck may have ripped off the crazy racists' rantings, but did they illustrate their paranoid fantasies with convenient chalkboard charts? I think not.

    1. chicken_thief

      And he was undoubtedly doing them a favor. I mean, he stole their shit, thereby validating their paranoia. Now they can feel good about themselves!!!

      1. Rotundo_

        Isn't it fun to watch right wing loonies getting hosed by their own? What on earth did they expect from a former shock jock scumbag? Just because he leaned in their direction meant that he had the journalistic integrity of Murrow? I bet they have a "guy" in the used car business that "takes care of" them too. Every one a creampuff…

  3. Oblios_Cap

    It’s almost like Glenn Beck is plotting against his tribe of crazies, using them for his own mysterious self-interest. There’s a word for this.


    1. V572..whatever

      Communism is the exploitation of man by his fellow man. Capitalism is just the reverse.

  4. Goonemeritus

    It sucks laboring in the crazy sweatshop knowing your crazy oppressor is getting all the credit.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Now that Walker, & Snyder, & the rest are outlawing the Union Left, they can usurp the UFCW & become the United Federation of Crazy Wingtards.

      2. WriteyWriterton

        Amalgamated Crazy Workers (apologies to the wonderful, real ACW, formed, if I recall correctly, in the wake of the Triangle fire).

  5. OneDollarJuana

    Beck is just capitalizing on a cheap resource. He'd have to be CRAZY not to take advantage of this stuff!

  6. freakishlywrong

    So, this crazy asshole cribs all his shit from discredited internet types and then mainstreams that shit so CNN has to have one their patented "discussions" that masquerade as "news"?
    "Glenn Beck-bloated hate filled pink balloon-or Howard Beale"? You decide.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Compare and contrast to Boss BlunderRush and Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity, who have been mining daily Republican National Committee pre-packaged talking points and The Sludge Retort "content" for years. Which is only fair, as Sludge "aggregates" the work of others.

      Then there's Off-the-Mark Levin, who quite happily spends so much time reading from his own books and otherwise quoting himself. And talking to himself, answering questions he's first asked in his mind…

  7. Barbara_i

    Wow, I just notice my p-rating hit 120. Thanks to everyone who helped. I sincerely appreciate it.
    I hauled manure and mulch and planted my veggie garden outside, did the grocery shopping and washed the car and never noticed the 120 mark. See what you can accomplish when you don't waste time watching Glenn Beck and his prattle for the dead show?

    1. user-of-owls

      Well it's just unseemly if you ask me. A flashy 120p orchid rather than an understated, humble 109p dandelion.

      1. PsycWench

        109p is more like a marigold, while 107p is like one of those violets that would be very pretty if it weren't invading your yard.
        Actually I like them in the yard but a lot of people don't. Maybe people with 120p?

          1. hellbabe

            oh, pee score… Ive been so absorbed in the comments, ive not paid any attention to pee scores….well, ill fix that

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          I'd gladly give up all my P points and start from zero if I didn't have these fucking bull thistles throughout my back yard. They're like super-spiny dandelions on steroids, some are waist-high and the only way to get rid of them is soak the soil around and pull them by hand. Got most of them last year but still several days of pulling this year, my back yard looks like fucking Jurassic Park.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Tried it; I would need a 55-gallon drum and my yard would become an EPA superfund site. Tried mowing them, it took two tractor-mower belts at 45 bucks a pop to figure out the only way to do it was the stoop labor method. The stalks on some of them were as big around as my wrist.

          2. WriteyWriterton

            I recommend slash-and-burn. Soak the yard w/ gasoline (if you wanna be green, use ethanol), drop a match and kiss those grass-busters g-bye.

          3. V572..whatever

            Honestly you elitists with your yards and gardens and topiaries and menageries of zoo animals are the kind of limousine liberals that the Righties like to make fun of, in their humble way. Real working class heroes live in condos and grow weed under grow-lights.

          4. DaRooster

            I do that too… in my HOUSE… and go into the YARD to soak up beautiful rays of Plutoni… um… sunshine.

          5. Lascauxcaveman

            I killed a skunk today and my pee still languishes at a measly one-oh-eight. Oh well, maybe I'll get some weasels next. (I hope I get 'em all, before it's time to move the chicks out to their brand-new portable henhouse.)

          6. V572..whatever

            As Stalin (maybe) said, sometimes quantity has a quality all its own. Make a lotta comments, getta lotta pee. Barbara_i gives good quantity and quality, it must be said. I just bang 'em out. Beats working.

            Plus she offered to do me earlier today, so I can't say enough good things about her.

          7. BaldarTFlagass

            I was thinking about taking off and nuking the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Not sure where I'd sleep though.

          8. riverside68

            Your icon looks like it could take out some thistles, if you can train it.

            When Barbara_i's icon grows up is it going to look like yours?

    2. WriteyWriterton

      Better get busy, too, B_i, if you know what I mean. We don't have much time left before the Rapture on May 21.

      1. Barbara_i

        Writey, that date is easy for me to remember. It's my deceased Mother's birthday. Party at my house on May 20th, just in case.

      2. Ducksworthy

        If only. The burning lake, rivers of fire etc. etc. will be quite pleasant compared to living in a world inhabited by violent drooling mongoloid xtians walking the streets yelling Brains Brains. If the rapture takes them, I'll all for it.

  8. EatsBabyDingos

    Glenn is obviously "beginner" crazy. Intermediate" was my old neighbor in Texas who got mad at another neighbor for letting his dog crap on the other's lawn. Crazy neighbor finally had enough and crapped on the neighbor's yard. Twice.

    See, Glenn, what you can aspire to?

    1. Terry

      Advanced crazy would be calling all the neighbors out into their front porches with a bull horn, then crapping on the guy's lawn.

    2. trumpbly_joe

      I've actually heard more than one story in the past couple of months where that exact dispute culminates in a shooting, invariably in Arizona or Alabama or Mississippi or Texas.

      On the other hand, it's a good thing one or both parties had guns, or else that mundane neighborly dispute might have *really* gotten out of hand. You know, without guns, to deter each other from escalating the dispute to assault or murder or something.

      1. Terry

        I had a couple of neighbors in Texas, two twenty somethings who rented a house together. Each weekend, they'd get loaded, of course. The problem came when they loaded something else. They took to going out in their backyard around midnight, drunk as skunks, and holler about their God given right to have guns and then start shooting up into the air…inside the city limits…in a densely populated area. It's interesting how fast the cops arrive when you call 911 and say drunken men are firing guns around a residential area. It's also interesting that even in Texas that you can be thrown out of a rental after a string of gun related arrests on the property.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            There was a nice but unheeding old guy on our block who always let his little Jack Russel crap on our lawn, even after my mom asked him to stop, politely, several times. I overheard her fretting over this one day, and that night got a shovel and piece of notepaper and gathered up a couple of weeks worth of Jack's leavings and wrote on the bottom "Your doggie left these behind in our yard. We'll keep returning them if he continues to do so," and placed the whole thing neatly arranged in a smiley face shape on his front porch.

            My mom LOL'd when I told her why she never saw Mr Sanderson walking his dog anymore; he'd apparently changed his route.

        1. Guppy06

          "It's also interesting that even in Texas that you can be thrown out of a rental after a string of gun related arrests on the property. "

          When was this, the Coolidge administration?

  9. arihaya

    hey Beck why don't you just re-run The Birth of a Nation ?

    it is in public domain, so you don't have to pay any royalties ..

  10. ManchuCandidate

    I'm shocked that the State Dept would know something about Egyptia before us plebes did. It's like they have direct access and personal relationships with folks in the Egyptia gubbiment or something. Or talk to the spooky looking Ivy League Company guy down the hall for info… hahaha–yeah I know like the CIA knows anything.

    1. comrad_darkness

      Jihad Watch is just a front for their necessary cribbing for the Christian Martyrdom War on Christmas.

  11. poncho_pilot

    does this mean we can look forward to a Galt's Gulch of crazy people?

    "i will stop the motor crazy of the world…"

  12. baconzgood

    This is a perfect example of Wonkette-Sorros-Obama-Marxist-Olive Garden-Mooslim-Abba-Google-Vermont liberal Nazi's smearing Glenn with thier truth at what a fraud he is. COMMIES!!!!! Jack you're worse than Mao!

  13. DownFist Troll

    Crazies stealing from crazies….tsk tsk, what is the internet coming to. I ask you: Is there no honor left amongst the mentally ill?

        1. Guppy06

          There's the rub: being a spook is still a gubmint job. You actually want pay? I suppose you'll be asking for benefits and healthcare next!

  14. slithytoves

    See, I try to tell my students there are serious consequences when they plagiarize, but for some reason, they just don't seem to believe me.

    1. WriteyWriterton

      They believe you, but they think that "serious consequences" are good things. Because they're ignorant, also, too.

  15. baconzgood

    "Stewart said he was shocked to hear the host read almost his entire article on the air"

    I'm shocked that Glenn can hold paper and read with that jacket with the long tied together sleeves that he wears.

  16. freakishlywrong

    Holy fuck, talk about down the rabbit hole. We now have conspirators arguing over the intellectual ownership..of utter horse shit.

      1. OhNoGuy

        I think horse shit actually has a use, this is more like dog shit ….or cat shit, speaking of Trump for President.

  17. EdFlintstone

    I always thought Glenn's sources had names like Martini, Billy Bibbit, Cheswick and Taber.

    1. yyyaz

      Billy Bibbit/Joey Smith, Martini/Moroni, all about as trustworthy as it gets. At least in Glennda's mind.

  18. Chillwaver

    Ha! The Crazies either didn't get the memo about Glenn falling back in to obscurity or they are trying to "milk the cow before it runs dry."

  19. CapnFatback

    In Beck's defense, according to MLA guidelines, when the original sources are fevered ancestral voices, one is not required to cite which head they choose as their vessel.

  20. dr_giraud

    When you wrote the word started with a "c," I was sure you were reaching for "capitalism." Or "cunt."

  21. Crank_Tango

    i find it hard to believe that GLENN BECK is an irresponsible asshole. GLENN BECK people. GLENN FUCKING BECK.

  22. Hera Sent Me

    Some nuts may have had the crazy ideas first, but Glenn had the idea to gather them together into a single, reeking pile and make millions hawking it to other nuts.

    You can't just think crazy, you have to thing big and crazy.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      Or get scared. I thought Glenn Beck had a great radio show — until September 11, 2001, that is. He went just pure batshit then.

      1. __kth__

        I used Yahoo! Mail all the way up until about a year ago, when some kind of virus thingy sent porno links to everyone in my Contacts (it didn't run to my taste in porn, is how I know I didn't drunk-send it).

        Anyway, last I looked, Yahoo! lets you log into their system with your Google or Facebook ID. Which is pretty much the writing on the wall, one has to think.

  23. Bonzos_Bed_Time

    What could be more American than stealing the crazy and re-selling it wrapped up in a small-pox infected blanket!

    Manifest Exceptionalism Unum!

  24. Gopherit

    And here I thought Glenn was a never-ending font of crazy. What a disappointment to find that he's just a plagiarizing hack.

  25. trumpbly_joe

    I'm pretty sure that once you're as big a fraud as Glenn Beck is, you don't actually get any extra demerits for academic dishonesty.

    Seriously, between the race-baiting, the anti-semitism, the literally fascistic arguments he makes, the paranoid delusions that frequently dip further into megalomania, and the near-ceasless pissing on the legacies of every prominent historical figure ever? What's a little plagarism in that mix, as well?

        1. trumpbly_joe

          She'll accept a royalty payment, but it needs to be in the form of gold-plated Goldline commemorative souvineer medallions.

    1. user-of-owls

      Hey, mister, plagiarism is a 'big fucking deal.'[1] Didn't you 'get the memo'?[2] Do you want to go through life, 'fat, drunk and stupid'?[3] Look at the syllabus you, 'idiotic cunt!'[4] Oh, and 'get me a fucking drink already.'[5]

      [1] Biden, Joe 2009.
      [2] Trite Phrases, An Encyclopedia of 1998.
      [3] Wormer, Dean Vernon in, eds. Lampoon & National, La maison des animaux. (trans.) 1993.
      [4] Lizzie, Mme. L'Imey (various editions)
      [5] Personal communications 1974-2011.

  26. chascates

    The Christian Right wants things back the way they were in the 1700s. People's beliefs and educational progress have now returned to that level.

    1. PsycWench

      Except for fast food and Hoverrounds. Those can stay. And disability payments. They can also stay.

  27. comrad_darkness

    Some of us humble folk are happy at 96, thank you.

    Oh man. The garden needs to be turned doesn't it. No P points for that. Just salad greens. MMmmmmm arugula . . . .

  28. Fare la Volpe

    You're like the Koch Barbara: stealing all the p-points from the hard working p-class and hoarding it all to yourself. I can't feed my children with a meager 108 pee.

  29. widestanceroman

    I'm just about ready to bunker down in my sofa cushion fort where the world cannot find me and my snark can mend, so I'll just toss out a "You know who else stole research uncredited?" because the replies will cheer me up before I disappear for a while.

  30. SayItWithWookies

    It's too bad Mr. Stewart is poor and exploited, but I've got a compromise — every time Beck uses Mr. Stewart's work, Glenn pays Stewart $15.00 for the lost pageviews. So now instead of feeling poor and exploited, Mr. Stewart can feel poor, exploited and stupid. Glad we put this matter behind us.

    1. Rotundo_

      A case of Top Ramen or two would probably be more agreable to someone in Stewarts line of work.

  31. WhatTheHeck

    These crazy people coulda been contendas on Fox tv but for one crazier guy who stole their thunder.

  32. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This is all quite explainable. Clearly the voices in Glenn's head telling him the secret truths behind world events are the same voices in these other's heads. Of course they sound the same when Glenn puts it on his chalk board. In fact, this proves that he is reporting them truly, because if he got it wrong, it wouldn't sound like he copied everything.

  33. Warpde

    What? No mention of the craziest crazy Alex Jones?
    This must be a conspiracy going on here.

  34. jus_wonderin

    This sounds like a great first draft treatment for the pilot, "My Zombie Winter". Or, hey "Zombie, She Wrote".

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Come to think of it, "The Ice Storm" would have been greatly improved if Ang Lee had included included some zombies.

      1. jus_wonderin

        Let's write it. 'Cuz the visual of Zombies and snow is awesome. And, you can't have sympathy for the doomed herione when there is a trail of Zombie parts littering the front walk. “Look behind the mailbox!!”

    2. tessiee

      "The Zombies of Madison County"?
      "Clan of the Cave Zombies"?
      "Confessions of a Zombie Shopaholic"?
      "Harry Potter and the Decomposing Zombies"?
      "Chicken Brain Soup for the Zombie Soul"?

      1. jus_wonderin

        "An elderly Jewish widow living in Atlanta can no longer drive. Her son insists she allow him to hire a driver, which in the late Ought's meant a Zombie man. She resists any change in her life but, Poke, the driver is hired by her son. She refuses to allow him to drive her anywhere at first, but Poke slowly wins her over with his undead graces."

  35. BlueStateLibel

    So I guess all the "values" he likes to endlessly drone on about don't include "Thou shalt not steal."

  36. donner_froh

    Douglas Stewart and his comrades in crazy should get some of the new double reflecting tinfoil hats. They no only keep the bad guys, space aliens and Illuminati from taking over one's brain but they also make sure that the thoughts you need to keep secret from leaking out and being grabbed by Glenn Beck.

  37. genxr

    Glenn Beck was only trying to protect them from Obama's brown shirt union thugs who hunt down people who love freedom and ship them off to FEMA internment camps. They should be thanking him – privately, in secret.

  38. Buckminster

    When Glenn Beck is feverishly squirreling away nuts, it's a sign of the coming ice age.

  39. Ducksworthy

    I'm counting on Beck to rehabilitate Ayn Rand's true love, the ideal man, William Edward Hickman. After all, Hickman was a sociopath like Ayn and Glenn, not bound by normal rules or any feeling for his fellow human beings. And he only lost if a few times, like the time he cut the 12 year old girl in half and stuffed her body cavity with bath towels before trading her for ransom. Also he was stupid. So a perfect conservatard.

  40. user-of-owls

    So this guy named Hal walks into a bar carrying an oval-shaped tinsmith's hammer in one hand and a sort of cruel guide in the techniques of spousal abuse in the other.

    Bartender nervously asks him what he's having.

    "Think I'll start off with an appetizer, any suggestions?"

    "Of course," says bartender, and yells back to the cook, "Get me an order of Hal A Peen-o Pop 'Ers!"

  41. widget2011

    If the Glenn Beck off on the side, with the gun shot the other Glenn Beck, would it be a homocide or suicide?
    Would anyone care?

  42. guangho

    I didn't want to have to tell you this….the powers to be don't want you to know this…but…..and I'm sorry to be a bearer of bad news…the sky is blue! There, I said it!

  43. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Wait… there are “study guides” on That's gotta be the El Dorado of crazy!

  44. OhNoGuy

    Got to see "Snow" the Norwegian, Nazi, zombie movie. I mean, if you have to watch a movie with subtitles.

  45. CookiE_MonstA

    Glenn will never get my crazy cause it's leftist statist crazy, which is like red and green kryptonite. Teatonite? Teabagonite?

  46. ttommyunger

    Crazy comes in, crazy goes out, never a miscommunication, never a royalty paid either, dickwad!

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