NBC Says Trump Won’t Run, Iowa Christian Fundamentalists Say He Will

  he said he said

Important business/president stuff.At some point one of the two top-tier Republican frontrunners, Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee (haha, this is still funny), are going to have to leave their Fox deals and run, right? Is the Fox money really better than going down in the column in history books that lists the loser of each presidential election? Maybe it is. According to “one senior” NBC executive talking to the New York Times, Trump won’t run. “This is Donald being Donald,” he said, a reference to the famous quote about Pol Pot cutting open an infant’s skull, “This is Pol being Pol.” Campaign careerists and Iowa gatekeepers, though, reportedly say he will run. “I’m convinced he’s probably going to run,” said some important Iowa evangelical guy, which is also something people used to say about Pol Pot when he hosted a reality teevee show about firing people right before he ran a murderous regime.

“Anyone assuming that the reality show host’s interest in running for president is just another one of his publicity stunts would not likely be wrong,” wrote Charlie Cook, the political analyst, who in a column last week wondered whether a “Jersey Shore” cast member would try to run for president next.

That crazy Chalie Cook, always with the trenchant pop-culture humor!

The real estate mogul has spoken to pollster Tony Fabrizio as well as members of Larry Weitzner’s Jamestown Associates, sources said. Three Republicans said that Florida-based media consultant Rick Wilson had been recommended to Trump as a potential hire. [...]

He recently called pollster and strategist Kellyanne Conway, who agreed to set him up with some evangelical leaders.

Sure, that sounds like people who work on campaigns. Very politics, those names.

Meanwhile, Trump continues his rampage of stupid shit:

“I’m a much bigger business man and have (a) much, much bigger net worth. I mean, my net worth is many, many, many times Mitt Romney,” Trump said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “I built a very big net worth and I’d like to put that ability … to work for this country.”

Hooray! Trump is going to buy us all some crappy property after he rids the world of foreigners! But then again, the Teabaggers may tear off his limbs and eat him first:

“We must have universal healthcare,” wrote Trump [in a 2000 book]. “I’m a conservative on most issues but a liberal on this one. We should not hear so many stories of families ruined by healthcare expenses.”

Whoops. [NYT/Politico/CNN/Slate]

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133 comments

  1. nounverb911

    “This is Donald being Donald,”
    Is that like Manny being Many, but without the steroids and home runs?

        1. __kth__

          now that's just wrong. Without goofballs like Manny, Shaq, Chad Ocho-Cinco, etc., there would be no reason to follow sports.

          1. poncho_pilot

            "Without goofballs like Manny, Shaq, Chad Ocho-Cinco, etc., there would be no reason to follow sports."

  2. nounverb911

    "wrote Charlie Cook, the political analyst, who in a column last week wondered whether a “Jersey Shore” cast member would try to run for president next. "
    Unfortunately, Snooki isn't old enough.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      W/ that leathery skin, Snooki could easily pass for 50. And she's got actual wrestling experience — Trump just shaved some guy's head.

    1. SorosBot

      Well Donald's already doubled-down on the crazy, but he still needs charts and an embarrassing Alzheimer's-ridden running mate.

  3. ttommyunger

    "NBC Says Trump Won’t Run, Iowa Christian Fundamentalists Say He Will!" …as reported in "Who Gives a Fuck?" Magazine. Props to Andy Borowitz.

      1. PsycWench

        A lot of Republican politican stuff in that magazine. They covered the Bush twins extensively.

  4. nounverb911

    "Trump is going to buy us all some crappy property after he rids the world of foreigners! "
    Hooray, Trump's getting ready for wife number 4.

  5. CookiE_MonstA

    When are the corporatists going to make the argument that people should be able to run for office and not give up their day jobs, conflict of interest be damned. Didn't the founding fathers envision a government of part time legislators anyway?

    1. prommie

      Hey, Bush and Cheney never gave up their day jobs; they were working full time for the defence and energy industries the whole time they were in office.

  6. CrankyLttlCamperette

    Hooray! Trump is going to buy us all some crappy property…

    And then declare bankruptcy? I think the housing industry already did that for us.

  7. BaldarTFlagass

    I mean, my net worth is many, many, many times Mitt Romney

    "I'm the John Holmes of net worth. Or the Long Dong Silver, if you will, since I get along so well with the blacks."

  8. ManchuCandidate

    These wingnuts must hate tinted people so much that they'll follow an arrogant know nothing serial adulterer whose financial acumen is so great that he's bankrupted casinos thrice. Who's your messiah naaaaaw?

  9. Ducksworthy

    Why does "I built a really big net worth." sound like a little kid bragging about a bowel movement?

  10. freakishlywrong

    So "Donald being Donald" means he's a thrice married/bankrupt, hateful, ignorant rightwing demagogic vulgarian who also boasts "the blacks" amongst his friends. He should be booed and hissed every time he shows his weird, old babyish face in public.

    He looks like an infant with gigantism.

  11. Gopherit

    Given the current economic health of this country, and the chance that we will default on our debt, I can think of no one more qualified to lead our country into its current economic shitstorm than Donald Trump.

  12. baconzgood

    “I’m convinced he’s probably going to run,” he went on to say "I may or may not be right or wrong on this depending on if he does or doesn't"

    C'mon your "convinced" about "probably"? I can do that too.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      He definitely will or will not run. I don't know which, but it'll definitely be one of the two. And when he makes that decision, he'll have definitely made it.

  13. DownFist Troll

    So the frontrunner is not a serious candidate? Long life to el presidente-sheik Obama.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      I'm going to feed the line "East African strongman Barack Obama" to the Orange County GOP & see what graphic they come up with.

  14. slithytoves

    Ssshh. We want him to run – remember? Nothing highlights sanity like unadulterated crazy. And back to front comb overs, too.

    1. weejee

      You sure he doesn't get his eyebrows and ear hair into this act? I mean we oldes have hair fallout up top all the while masses start growing from eyebrows, and ears.

  15. Oblios_Cap

    “I’m a much bigger business man and have (a) much, much bigger net worth. I mean, my net worth is many, many, many times Mitt Romney,” Trump said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “I built a very big net worth and I’d like to put that ability … to work for this country.”

    Well he is bigger than Mittens. Wider, too.

    How did he get such a large net worth? Is running casinos into the ground really that profitable?

    1. CalamityJames

      Is running casinos into the ground really that profitable?

      You should see what the guys running the country are making.

  16. Mumbletycurd

    I'll wait to hear what Governor Otter has to say. It's well known that Otters share a thing or two in common with their sleazy weasel cousins.

  17. Serolf_Divad

    “I’m a much bigger business man and have (a) much, much bigger net worth. I mean, my net worth is many, many, many times Mitt Romney,” Trump said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “I built a very big net worth and I’d like to put that ability … to work for this country.”

    Here's the sad (or depending on how you look at it, happy) truth: schmucks who vote for politicians because they are businessmen, probably buy into that argument.

    Go DONALD! Stomp all over that Romney guy who's only worth a few hundred mil.

  18. SayItWithWookies

    I won't believe anything about Donald Trump until I hear what Victoria Jackson has to say.

  19. DownFist Troll

    Well, there is an upside to a serious Trump bid. He just might bankrupt the entire RNC.

  20. widestanceroman

    I do not believe he will ever run, but if trussed properly, could roll. Preferably from the top of a hill facing a busy highway. . .some gasoline-soaked rags. . .a spark. . .

    Good times.

  21. mavenmaven

    "I’m a much bigger business man"
    When is he just going to whip it out and prove his size?

  22. Lascauxcaveman

    A liberal on healthcare? Damn, grandma is right again.

    "You look hard enough you can find some good in anyone."

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      Well, back before Donny-boy found out about the useful idiots in the tea party, especially how useful they are to him (Snowbilly has shown everyone the way to grift these morons) he made some statements that seemed, at the time somewhat decent. Like attacking the Bush Admin for the war and calling for Rummy to be fired, that sort of thing. Yes, every single one of those somewhat sane comments WILL come back to bite his ass in the GOP primary; they're clingin' to that alternate reality with all the super retard strength of trying to take a bottle of vodka away from Boner.

  23. Radio_Level_7

    AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH, GaaaaYA. YOU KNOW JA.
    FORE EVAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    Takes Deep Breath

    YYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, Roooooaaarrr
    MAKE YOUR CHOICE.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      If he's on top, do you think his hair dangles down and gets in her eyes and nose?

  24. Allmighty_Manos

    I race through the channels to avoid even catching a glimpse of that idiot's show. If he runs, I'm going to have to block out all my basic cable.

  25. Chillwaver

    He won't run….just like the Twat did a long time ago, he figured out that teasing about the possibility of running is far more lucrative than actually running.

  26. __kth__

    Trump is really just the perfectly monstrous exemplar of the entire TEA tendency. If he doesn't run, and in doing so (1) suck all of the oxygen out of the GOP primary, and (2) demonstrate beyond dispute what utter whackjobs put John Boehner in the speaker's chair, then there is no justice under the sun.

  27. hagajim

    “I’m a much bigger business man asshole and have (a) much, much bigger net worth ego. I mean, my net worth ego is many, many, many times (that of) Mitt Romney,” Trump said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “I built a very big net worth ego and I’d like to put that ability … to work for this country.”

    Hey Donny – FUCK OFF!

  28. tcaalaw

    I always assumed Trump was just talking about running as a publicity scam, but after several polls showing him as the frontrunner, I'm increasingly convinced that his ego will get the better of him and he'll actually try for it. (He probably wouldn't win the nomination, mind you, but he could limp into Super Tuesday.)

    1. GOPCrusher

      Yeah but, a couple of months ago, Ron Paul won the CPAC Straw Poll. It's too early to count out someone else raising the crazy bar.

  29. SheriffRoscoe

    Harvesting the evangelicals for the "fool" vote. Donald Trump knows how to go after his demographic. I'll give him that.

  30. PsycWench

    “We must have universal healthcare,” wrote Trump [in a 2000 book]. “I’m a conservative on most issues but a liberal on this one. We should not hear so many stories of families ruined by healthcare expenses.”

    Bill Ayers secretly wrote and inserted that section.

  31. Preferred Customer

    Last night I chanced upon the end of Celebrity Apprentice, and after seeing the aplomb and diplomacy that the Donald was able to muster in mediating between Gary Busey and Meat Loaf, I am convinced that he has what it takes to be our next Commander in Chief.

    Jesus god, what the FUCK is wrong with people?

    OTOH, I have to say Ivanka comes across as literate and pretty intelligent. I'm going to go ahead and guess that the Donald's mailman must have been working a summer job while he finished up his Ph.D, or something.

  32. metamarcisf

    On Friday, through some quirk of the heliosphere, I happened to catch segments of Glenn Beck and Mark Leven on the colored radio station. It seems both of these boys are devoted full time now to bashing Trump, playing interviews where he praises Obama and skewers Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. This can only mean that the early conservative support of Trump has backfired and the right is desperate now for a "legitimate" candidate. This is good news for John McCain.

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      Yeah, maybe they're trying to clear the runway for Mitchie poop Daniels or something. Either way, thanks to the antics of Midwest Republicans and the GOP majority in the house they've got an uphill climb for the presidency. The Ryan Plan= the gift that keeps on giving, too…it's going to be extremely difficult for Republicans to place a thin veneer over their poor hating, worker hating and poor old people hating policies this time 'round….still, I love when Cons try to play innocent, it's so cute.

  33. Sassomatic

    My understanding is that Obama's entire presidency is a publicity stunt to sell more copies of Dreams From My Father

  34. Beowoof

    So, NBC is admitting on Donald's behalf that this is just a big scam to promote ratings for his shitty TV show. Well we all knew that, Donald is just an asshole publicity whore with no real brains to speak of except for shoveling bullshit at the American public, who laps it up like Pavlovian dogs. They all think they are going to be just like Donald someday rich and famous. Most are already stupid.

  35. donner_froh

    Caption on photoshopped picture of Trump by Orange County Republican National Committee Representative:

    'It's a Monkey with a comb-over. Some of my best friends are balding Monkeys. If you don't like it your should apologize to me."

  36. randcoolcatdaddy

    "Campaign careerists and Iowa gatekeepers, though, reportedly say he will run."

    Silly Teabaggers – deluded fantasies are for kids.

  37. Sassomatic

    If there is anyone who will selflessly serve the needs of our country, it's a self-serving egotistical plutocrat.

  38. SorosBot

    Is Trump a much better businessman than Mitt Romney? Well, both are self-made men who built business empires out of mere many millions of inherited wealth; but Mittens hasn't even declared bankruptcy once.

  39. Fare la Volpe

    Boy, quite a crop in the Republican primary. We have a choice between one rich entitled asshole spawn of a millionaire who squandered away all of daddy's money, and another rich entitled asshole spawn of a millionaire who squandered aways all of daddy's money.

    Oh wait, I'm watching The Simple Life. Hilton/Richie 2012!

  40. dahboner

    Now, if Trump had cut the head off a robot, that would be something!

    After all, within a few years, robots will replace all of our jobs.

    No more “wage slavery”, haha!

    # HAPPY EMANCIPATION DAY

  41. 4TheTurnstiles

    Don't know if the Pol Pot analogy is a fair one. Pol Pot rose from nothing and gained everything he had by dint of hard work, sacrifice, grit, determination, and know-how. Sounds like a real take-no-prisoners entrepreneur to me… and that ain't Trump.

  42. Fare la Volpe

    Hoo boy. Downfisty McGee and his butt buddy "business partner" sure are rarin' to go today.

    In the name of the Moon, I'll fist all you!

    1. __kth__

      Not to give them any ideas, but it's a wonder they don't go to town on old threads that no one's looking at, to chip away at our p-ratings (like I care about my p-rating).

  43. Lost_Teabaggers

    Yes we can all be like you, Donald if our daddies left us $400 million dollars too. Trump has flip-floppped on so many issues over the years that I don't see how he thinks that won't come up. I would be very suprised if Trump actually ran, maybe he's just doing this to try to force Palin to drop out because he's stolen her crazy? Either way, this figures to be a hilarious dose of Republican self immolation, especially since Boss Hogg, the supposed serious candidate can't go two interviews without looking like a stereotypical Mississippi racist/bigot.

  44. user-of-owls

    Really, the focus of any discussion revolving around Trump and Romney should be on hair net worth.

  45. Steverino247

    Man, if somebody left me $400 million dollars, you'd never see me again. My family and I would just disappear to someplace awesome and enjoy life.

  46. widget2011

    I really don't know who has created the most retarded peeple, evangelical christians or the GOP?

  47. Dudleydidwrong

    T-Rump is only one of a whole cast of worm-brain characters who want to run as the Republican challenger to Barry, and the cast may have just gotten larger. Judge Roy Moore–Alabama Ten Commandment doofus–has announced that he is setting up an "Exploratory Committee" for a possible run at the presidency in 2012. Shit! Piss! and Corruption! These people are beyond making fun of. For sheer assholery Roy Moore fits right in with the others but he may have a headlock on the evangelical Christian vote.

  48. tessiee

    They were also twentysomething when they went through the worst of their goofy fame-whore phase, not sixty-whatever-Trump is.

Comments are closed.