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Derpity derp derp

  • Mama Sasquatch made a rare appearance in Soviet-occupied Wisconsin, where she won over the audience (mostly greedy schoolteachers and truck drivers) with lines like “Hey, folks! [Walker’s] trying to save your jobs and your pensions! Your governor did the right thing and you won! And people still have their jobs!” She had to yell these things into the microphone, because the crowd was just cold-booin’ her and banging on cowbells the entire time. (YouTube proof.) Anyway, you communists are rude! Get some manners, and then a job. During her stand-up routine, Palin claimed that Walker was “working to solve Wisconsin’s long-term budget problems so it can honor pension commitments to public workers.” Apparently she didn’t get the memo (Blackberry Sext Message) informing her that Scott Walker told Congress — on C-SPAN Live! — that union-busting saves Wisconsin $0. Nothing. Not even enough for a penny candy. Uh, Andrew Breitbart was also there. Ew. [Crooks and Liars]
  • Rat poison has killed most of California’s majestic wildlife. What? [McClatchy]
  • The Fukushima nuclear meltdown continues! And now the Japanese are using robots to take radiation measurements. One such robot — created by an American company called iRobot — was sent into the doomed plant (to die) because the “environment was still too radioactive for workers to enter.” You know things are bad when they start sacrificing our precious iGadgets. [Fox News]
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