it's morning in america

Sarah Palin Receives Massive Disrespect From Wisconsin Bolshies

Derpity derp derp

  • Mama Sasquatch made a rare appearance in Soviet-occupied Wisconsin, where she won over the audience (mostly greedy schoolteachers and truck drivers) with lines like “Hey, folks! [Walker’s] trying to save your jobs and your pensions! Your governor did the right thing and you won! And people still have their jobs!” She had to yell these things into the microphone, because the crowd was just cold-booin’ her and banging on cowbells the entire time. (YouTube proof.) Anyway, you communists are rude! Get some manners, and then a job. During her stand-up routine, Palin claimed that Walker was “working to solve Wisconsin’s long-term budget problems so it can honor pension commitments to public workers.” Apparently she didn’t get the memo (Blackberry Sext Message) informing her that Scott Walker told Congress — on C-SPAN Live! — that union-busting saves Wisconsin $0. Nothing. Not even enough for a penny candy. Uh, Andrew Breitbart was also there. Ew. [Crooks and Liars]
  • Rat poison has killed most of California’s majestic wildlife. What? [McClatchy]
  • The Fukushima nuclear meltdown continues! And now the Japanese are using robots to take radiation measurements. One such robot — created by an American company called iRobot — was sent into the doomed plant (to die) because the “environment was still too radioactive for workers to enter.” You know things are bad when they start sacrificing our precious iGadgets. [Fox News]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman
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      1. baconzgood

        You know why they are called Styx…..Because listening to them is hell!

        (this comment is 100% snark free)

        1. OneDollarJuana

          They were part of a time in the 80's when there were several "castrato rock" bands. What was with all the squeaky male singers?

        2. Barbara_i

          I love ya, Bacon but Styx was one of my favorite bands. Please tell me that you don't hate Kansas too.

          1. DaRooster

            Kansas is still pretty good live too… as of about 7 years ago anyway. I didn't think they would make it through the show. Lead singer looked strung out & about 47 pounds and the lead guitarist was about 350 with an eye patch and looked like he was going to drop at any minute, sweating and huffing coming on stage.

      2. tessiee

        Any band that did not have that hideous Roger Dean artwork on their album covers is OK with me.

        OK, except the Eagles.

      1. whiterabid

        My favorite Illinois band of that era was REO Speedwagon. You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish. Riding the storm out. They hit true gold by becoming an MTV power ballad band. Maybe a bit of a sell out, but it beats a public teacher's pension. Besides, the lead guitar player from Styx had those weird teeth.

    1. DaRooster

      Really shitty song…
      Awesome band however and they still sound as good as they did then. That was the last thing they did with that very effeminate keyboard/rock opera wannabe Dennis DeYoung (the guy lost whatever "rock" he had around then). Even when they were very popular his stuff didn't do it for me. But (most of) the songs Tommy Shaw wrote were true rockers… Tuna Slime On My Hands and Blue Colored Van are just a couple that come to mind.

  1. memzilla

    Both Snowbilly Grifter and the Fukushima Reactor keep melting down and spewing toxic gases. But which one is more dangerous?

    (BTW: animated gif WIN)

    1. trampndirtdown

      Yes! things are starting to heat up and poor snowbilly is about to be left at the station. The rest of the wannabees are ready to tell her to get the fuck out of the way.

    2. mrblifil

      An end? Not bloody likely. She still has yet to issue commemorative plates; perform summer stock in Sheboygan; release a cover album; pose nude; pose nude with legs spread; pose nude with legs spread and penetration; pose nude with legs spread and multiple penetration; nude, legs spread, multiple penetration, with animals; release book of nihilistic depressed poetry; start chain of nude photography/nihilistic poetry studios; file for chapter 11 bankruptcy; run as Donald Trump's running mate, to provide "experience" to the ticket; release sex tape of her fellating Donald Trump to completion; play herself in porn parody of her Donald Trump suck tape, wherein she fellates the entire staff of a deep drilling rig; found a church based on nude multiple penetration photography and nihilistic poetry which worships Donald Trump; and finally die from toxic shock syndrome after attempting to film herself coupling with a dying beached Orca. At that point I think we can safely presume to have reached "the end."

      1. FraAnima

        I can only hope that all of these happen within the next week. And that I am not forced to watch.

      2. tessiee

        Don't forget the disco album, the country-western album, the heavy metal album, the rap album, and the gospel album — all with wardrobes that my taxes paid for.

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      I know–that's the only thing keeping me from watching the YouTube video. Well, that & I absolutely loathe her…

    1. freakishlywrong

      I'm pretty sure Andy's lost all sense of tolerance for us thugs. He told the crowd to "Go to Hell" three times yesterday.

    1. fartknocker

      That was excellent video. Brietbart was apparently very frustrated over the "rude" protesters and my favorite line was "…this is not class welfare." I could barely hear Sarah, which was nice. I preferred the cowbells myself, along with the roar of the crowd.

      Riley: Excellent .gif masterpiece. I so want that as an avatar.

      1. GhostBuggy

        Brietbart telling the crowd to go to Hell was priceless. Every Democratic candidate should use that footage in campaign commercials. They won't, of course; pointing out how the other side really just wants all the poors to die off, and will basically say so to a huge crowd, is nothing more than divisive, partisan rancor, don't you know.

        1. $exy$murf

          And right before he tells them to go to Hell, he says the protesters have no right to lecture him on civility.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Did Brietbart and Palin honestly believe that they were going to be welcomed like conquering heroes?

    3. PuckStopsHere

      I watched the whole thing and thus had to listen (although beneath the din to be sure) to that voice for about 8 minutes. I think I deserve 5 pee pts/min for doing so. Jesus. The whine still made it through. Good to hear the real voice of America, though. God bless Wisconsin.

    4. natoslug

      Watching Riley's gif while listening the audio from the rawstory video makes it even more awesome. I could actually handle Sarah's screeching and just giggled with joy.

          1. [redacted]hse

            oh shit, I'm training too hard. Glad to hear it's not until Wednesday, though- I panicked when I realized nothing's dry.

  2. Texan_Bulldog


    I also saw John Fund was there. Fund, Breitbart & Palin together…oh my god.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      I hope Fund was there to give Kathy Nickolaus a Wall Street Journal Courage Award for Efforts in Voter Fraud.

      1. Texan_Bulldog

        Hey, it wasn't easy coming up with 16,000 'misplaced' ballots from the trunk of her car.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          I know. That face-lift* Nickolaus (again, weird spelling) is going to get will be quite well deserved.

          *A la Kitty Harris.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      William Kristol puts his pants on just like you or I, one leg at a time, but then, he goes out & makes gold records.

  3. Goonemeritus

    This bunch always seems totally flummoxed that people aren’t just grateful for the lack of a reach-around.

  4. karen

    That .gif is just what I needed to get me through 7 hours at Lowe's, it looks exactly like half the customer base.

  5. SorosBot

    It's always nice to see how the flailing Palin reacts when she steps outside of her bubble and has to deal with a crowd filled with the vast majority of Americans who can't stand her. Of course, I'm sure she will call the crowd hateful and unAmerican like she did the Flyers fans who did booed her before.

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        And just how was a random student at a cheesesteak stand in Philly a gotcha journalist in asking Sarah "What are you going to do about Pakistan?"

        I loved how that was her and an impatient John McCain's defense to Katie Couric in answering with brute force on an issue and boundary she knows nothing about.

  6. Allmighty_Manos

    Wow, it was a historic weekend in Wisconsin — both of the GOPs leading fuck ups together at last. Palin/Walker 2012!

  7. ManchuCandidate

    This would have gone better if she only pronounced: "Let them eat cheese."

    I doubt Grifter Princess will be making the $12 majillion she made last year. I look forward to her appearance in court for either bankruptcy or fraud in several years time.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Soon enough, "Bristol's" house will be underwater. No way its value holds ta 170k, in Arizona. Market's still got a way to go, down.

  8. ttommyunger

    The First Dude insists he is the sole supplier of her Bratwurst: hard, stiff and solid but definitely not frozen.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      &/or the First Dude's business partner.

      "Open relationships" are OK, if you're a Republican.

  9. riverside68

    Riley, you left out the part about how the rat poison is killing the rat predators while the quick breeding rats are undoubtley developing immunity, leaving us (California) with a race of unkillable rats with no natural predators.

    Why sugar coat the news Riley? Are you afraid we might all kill ourselves and you won't have anymore clik income. (That sounds kinda nasty for a nice boy, what did Breitbart do to you?)

    1. LetUsBray

      The race of unkillable rats with no natural predators will be known as "Rattus Palinensis".

    1. horsedreamer_1

      David Zucker, Wingtard, impolitely asks you to stop using his film to lampoon Lou Sarah.

  10. WinterOuthouse

    Sarah told everybody during her John McCain years that Wisconsin was one of the states that is a chosen (by God) where Christians are supposed to find refuge during the "the last days". Of course Alaska was friendly territory and some other state.because of this, Sarah loves the Wisconsin and wants to keep it Blood Red with the blood of Jesus or teachers it isn't clear which.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Only one of those three is worse than what became of Aron Ralston's & Bethany Hamilton's arms.

  11. horsedreamer_1

    No mention of Lou continuing to piggy-back on the hockey thing? She called out the UW-Madison Lady Badgers hockey-squad (national champs… w00t1!).

  12. ManchuCandidate

    Just a small town girl, grifting in a stupid world
    Took the midnight plane going anywhere
    Just a Koch toy, born and raised in south Madison
    Rode the Tea Bag train now going nowhere

    I seen her in an empty hall, a stench of cash and cheap perfume
    For some bucks she can hog the spotlight

    It goes on and on and on and on

    1. HELisforHEL

      Damn I just did that song Sat night at a dump in DumpyLand. Could have used these lyrics for the yeehaw crowd, that would have irritated the hell out of them hahaha

      Mind if I use them? You'll get full credit, of course.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        You can have it. I would never deign to karaoke Styx. I'll stick with ABBA, please, & thank you.

      1. HELisforHEL

        My question…will it scare the cats and make dogs smile? If so then I need one. Especially to annoy the cats.

        1. ChessieNefercat

          Mine annoys my cats! My large dumb dog barks fiercely at it and then runs and hides in his kennel. Then Roomby butts the door of the kennel closed and my dog looks hunched and scairdey for an hour.

  13. Monsieur_Grumpe

    A note to people who think they are poisoning rats. First of all, clean up your mess, rats are there because you are feeding them with your filth. Second, when you poison your surroundings you are now living in poison. Third, have you heard about the rat poison miracle diet? Its sooooo easy too loose that extra 100 lbs you have hauling down to McDonalds. It’s fast, effective and probably won’t do you any harm either!

      1. Gunner Asch

        When I was living out in the local village in my off-duty hours in Korea in '68 I made the mistake of stabbing up through the ceiling with an icepick at the constant scurrying of rats. It would have been better if I missed.

        Korea hasn't always been first-world.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      That's an animated .gif? I thought it was a clip from her "Sarah Palin Alaska is All About Me, Me, Me" reality show.

  14. WinterOuthouse

    Why waste perfectly good bratwurst? Unless you meant fro them to repurpose the bratwurst after it has been conumed.

    1. donner_froh

      Strange though it seems, Snyder is moving very carefully regarding actual takeovers of local government. The four Emergency Financial Manages in Michigan were put in under his Democratic predecessor and they were total basket cases. Once it comes down to taking responsibility for collapsed cities, school systems, etc., some of these guys realize they are fucked.

      Which only means that Snyder is 1% smarter than Walker.

  15. WinterOuthouse

    Tawd is no longer hitting that, he hits some other whore. Sarah gets hit regularly by the Koch bros.

    1. mereoblivion

      "Whistle While You Work." You know how to whistle, don't you? Just put your lips together and blow.

    2. fuflans

      an ephemeral political concept used to get republicans elected and then immediately dismissed as unimportant.

  16. GregComlish

    The American iRobot was hardened against radiation by using America's advanced obesity technology. Hoveround to the rescue!

  17. OneDollarJuana

    Hey, there's a great business opportunity here! How about we replace the dead bobcats and owls with iBobcats and iOwls? The rat poison wouldn't kill the robots, and they'd sweep up after themselves!

    1. ChessieNefercat

      And it would create jobs since the little dears aren't self-cleaning and would need people to clean their brushes and bins (I recommend the easy-clean pet brush upgrade).

  18. Barbara_i

    Palin said that she was "proud Wisconsin conservatives prevailed against union hatred and violence" – even though none of the protests in Madison ever became physically violent.

    Palin has cornered the market on hatred and violence. Her daughters have no problem posting the word "faggot" on their Facebook pages. No one single person has done more to spread fear, distrust and hatred toward Barack Obama, as Sarah has.

    She went to Wisconsin and she was their biggest "cheese head" (foreskin cheese, that is) The United Steelworkers Union supported Todd for 18 years and now the unions are EVIL. It helped to put Moose Burger Helper on the table for their children; Track Charles James, Bristol Sheeran Marie, Willow Bianca Faye, Piper Indy Grace, and Trig Paxson Van. Her husband suckles from the government health care teat with the benefits he receives for his family through the Indian Health Services and the Alaska Native Medical Center, as a Yup'ik Eskimo.

    As much as I detest Donald Trump, I have to thank him for taking the white hot spotlight off Sarah Palin for a while

    1. SorosBot

      It's a rule of the right-wing that they'll just straight-up lie when the facts don't support their memes; thus since in their world unions are gangs and members are thugs, they just keep talking about the violence that doesn't exist.

      1. Barbara_i

        Don't you love that name: Trig Paxson Van Palin? Wonder if she was into Sammy or David Lee? McCain should have made their campaign song "Running With the Devil"

        Today is Trig's 3rd birthday!

          1. horsedreamer_1

            She went all the way to Niamey because she heard from Liz Cheney that there is great yellowcake there.

      2. freakishlywrong

        And a rule of what's supposed to be the Fourth Estate in this fucked up land to point OUT the facts, as opposed to letting a comedian do their dirty work for them and expose that "factual statement" nonsense. Y'know, access and all.

  19. philpjfry

    The good news is she was in Wisconsin. Far from me. For just five minutes I would like to be inside her head to see how it works. But then someone would have to shoot me and put me out of my misery.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      If you say it* three times, you get to live as Sarah Palin for 15 minutes.


    2. ChessieNefercat

      The inside of her head is like a bug zapper. Random zots of energizing hate and a couple of anemically twitching neurons wishing they lived in a smart brain.

  20. [redacted]hse

    I was previously unaware that California's majestic wildlife consisted of rats. Live and learn.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      But these are majestic rats!

      When I lived in San Diego years ago, the people in the snooty parts of town referred to the rodents infesting their land and premises as "bare-tailed squirrels."

  21. DashboardBuddha

    I never thought I'd live to see the day when someone would make an animated gif better that the Pelosi/Demon…but I was wrong. This is the new best…the one by which all other gifs will be judged.

    Thank you, Wonkette!

  22. Barbara_i

    I see that Frank Bailey's book "Blind Allegiance" is due for release May 24th. Meh, we all read it already on the intertubes.

  23. BarackMyWorld

    Anyway, you communists are rude!

    Unlike people who boo Democrats. Those people are patriots standing up for their rights.

  24. user-of-owls

    The Wall Street Journal-NBC News poll cites a mere 25 percent of respondents with a "positive opinion" of her, while more than twice that number, 53 percent, view her negatively… Palin did fare better than two international figures, though. She came in higher than Afghanistan's corrupt president, Hamad Karzai, and Libya's dictator, Muammar Gadafi.

    Andrew Breitbart, however, did not.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      The results are inverted, since only 45th President of the United States Newt Gingrich placed below Palin (among U.S. pols).

  25. V572..whatever

    Only recently learned that that show spawned Seth Rogaine. This alone warrants eternal derision.

      1. V572..whatever

        Actually Rogan’s a serviceable actor. It’s the RomCom-with-a-gross-out genre that’s unbearable.

  26. arihaya

    “environment was still too radioactive for workers to enter.”

    if the leakage happened in Fitzwalkerstan, they will just send Union workers

  27. vulpes82

    Oh, Riley, I'm so sorry you had to link a story with Breibart involved! I hope the PTSD tremors subside soon.

    1. Gopherit

      Stockholm syndrome. He probably still longs for that slightly sour milk and cheap scotch scent that Breitbart exudes.

  28. smitallica

    When will these commies just learn to shut up and stand politely by while an unqualified starfucker hack spews ignorant lies and demonstrable falsehoods about them?

  29. Oblios_Cap

    O/T, how many box office records did "Atlas Shrugged" break this weekend?

    I'm sure thqat on it's opening weekend it grossed more than, say, Avatar?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      That's where all the Wisconsin teabaggers were. At the theater, griping about the tax on Jumbo Vats of buttered popcorn and soda pop.

  30. donner_froh

    You know things are bad when they start sacrificing our precious iGadgets.

    Having doomed fifty of its brave but foolhardy workers to a horrible death from radiation poisoning, TEPCO decides to deploy a robot.

    Capitalism at its best.

  31. Beetagger

    The good news is that Palin is slipping quickly into oblivion. The bad news is that she's being replaced by people who are even more bat-shit crazy and evil.

  32. weejee

    Mmmm, it was snowy, sleatie and cold during the event. Can we safely assume the absence of sunny spring weather as Dog's 2¢ on this teatard event? Didn't hit it with a tornado, like the red states this weekend, but Madison is mostly blue and maybe thought the potential collateral damage would have been high. Just sayin'.

  33. Terry

    Sarah Palin and the teabaggers are like the fascist groups before WW2. People hear them, think parts of the message sound interesting, and attend the rallies. Then, when the whole story starts to come out, their support disappears. Sarah is the Oswald Mosley of this decade.

  34. DaRooster

    …“environment was still too radioactive for workers to enter.”

    Well they should just wait about 98,000 years, you know… gotta let it cool, kinda like a pie.

  35. DaRooster

    At this point, probably all of the bands are lookin' like that. It does give me hope though… as I move on up in years. Someday one of their drummers is going to drop and I can "sit in" and have a gig… even if it is at the County Fair… they still get a good 5-15 thou for those shows.

    1. Barbara_i

      These bands still perform at the casinos. I have a cowbell that Blue Oyster Cult signed for my husband stashed in my closet.

      Tony Bennett, Sarah McLachlan and the B-52's will be there this month. Yeah, the bands are a little older and so are we. It's still a thrill for me to be able to meet them.

      1. baconzgood

        Rooster: "If I told them once I told them a thousand times Spinal Tap first THEN puppet show"

        Barb: NEEDS MOAR COW BELL!

        1. DaRooster

          My completely favorite line from Tap…

          (I said the same thing when our band played our first gig at The Omni in Oakland)

          1. tessiee

            My favorite line has a cute little story to go with it:

            I first saw the movie in the theater when I lived in Chapel Hill, NC. The scene that takes place at "Vandermint Auditorium", UNC, has Nigel fussing about the cold cuts not fitting in his bread to make a nice sandwich. The manager tells Nigel to calm down, "It's only a cracker university anyway".

            I burst out into that really loud HAW HAW HAW HAW, the way you do when you're surprised into laughing. I was the only person in the theater who laughed at that line and the recipient of many dirty looks from other audience members.

            Totally worth it.

  36. notreelyhelping

    The only things missing were torches and pitchforks. Except there's no sympathy for this Frankenstein.

  37. El Pinche

    I see that Breitbart controlled himself at the rally. He didn't throw his feces at the union thugs or anything like that. His handlers figured how to keep his rage under control by allowing him to dry hump petite male interns.

  38. James Michael Curley

    NJ tea baggers could not get a single candidate on the NJ primary ballot. One guy announced he was a tea bagger after his ballot was filed and he found out he had no opposition from the Republicans. Instead, NJ tea bagger groups held their 'convention' in East Windsor, NJ last week end. They promoted it with the slogan "Battle for Trenton" as they were going to 'turn around politics in NJ'. Less that 80 showed up of the 150 reservations made. That is less that 2/3 of all the NJ legislative seats up in November.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Jesus God, that bark-peeling screech brings back memories of Jurassic Park.

      Huh. I just realized, where was Jesus in that movie? And how come none of the dinosaurs had saddles?

  39. Guppy06

    The American-built robot is sent in to figure out what went wrong with the American-built nuclear reactor.

    If GE had built the robot, then they'd really be screwed.

  40. trumpbly_joe

    I'm reminded of a joke made by one of the Chernobyl cleanup workers, captured in the book Voices from Chernobyl:

    "An American robot is on the roof for five minutes, and then it breaks down. The Japanese robot is on the roof for five minutes, and then — breaks down. The Russian robot is up there two hours! Then a command comes in over the loudspeaker: 'Private Ivanov! In two hours you're welcome to come down and have a cigarette break.'"

    I'm pretty sure there's no Russian humor that isn't black humor.

  41. GOPCrusher

    I would have expected the Tea Baggers to load up buses full of people to go see this movie, like the churches did to drag people to go see Mel Gibson's Torture Porn to drive up the box office numbers.

  42. jaytingle

    I couldn't get through Snow Snooki's mauderings, but Breitbart– oh my. I had never before heard him speak. If I had ever wondered what a gay Jay Leno would be like, I now know.

  43. chascates

    But the Drudge headline read:
    Palin Wows Wisconsin Tea Partiers With Blistering Speech…

  44. Warpde

    Palin: Nothing to add that has not been well articulated allready. Derp
    Rat poison: Would someone in California let the wildlife know it 's ment for the Retardicans please.
    Fuk"U"shima Robots: Spare the robots. Send in Annie Coulituser.

  45. lochnessmonster

    As they tell us where the fallout is landing, I keep thinking about this song:

    by Steve Goodman
    Down here in the shelter, we've got everything we need.
    Mom put up her peach preserves, Pa's got a book to read.
    Sister knits some bandages, and we turn the lights down low
    And play some Scrabble, watching Joey glow.
    At breakfast Mom hands Joe the bread, and he turns it into toast.
    Last night he hugged a leg of lamb, and soon we had a roast.
    You should see him heat the coffee up when he stirs it with his toe.
    We all get hungry, watching Joey glow.
    You have to wear dark glasses if you look at him a while,
    Or he'll fry your little eyes out with his incandescant smile.
    [ From:… ]
    At Chistmastime, it sure felt strange, but it was great to see
    The way we decorated Joe as if he was our tree,
    And his star was shining brightly underneath the mistletoe,
    So we blew him kisses, watching Joey glow.
    I hope the world's not over, for my sake and for his.
    I'd love for everyone to know how brilliant Joey is.
    We've been down here for six months now, and we're proud to be alive.
    We owe it to America to sit here and survive.
    So we listen to the static on the short wave radio
    And count the shock waves, watching Joey glow.

  46. Beanball

    I'm really pumped to know that a dwarf congressman (Kucinich) can pull rank on a moronic state governor (Walker) and make him "testify" before Congress.

    Totally awesome.

    Can I get a witness?

  47. Negropolis

    During her stand-up routine,

    Wait. So can we or can't we confirm that this was really Tina Fey in Wisconsin?

Comments are closed.