the libertarian revolution will require 535 of them

More Ron Paul Spawn May Be Running For Senate

Now a third Paul — Robert, a doctor who runs a family medical practice in Benbrook and lives in Fort Worth — is mulling a congressional bid of his own.

After campaigning for his father, most notably giving speeches during the elder Paul’s 2008 presidential bid, Robert Paul is considering whether to jump into the race to replace Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison when her term expires in January 2013.

A doctor, huh? What board certified him? The American Medical Board of Robert Paul’s Nieces and Nephews? [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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108 comments

    1. WriteyWriterton

      How come this mixed-up RonPaulMoran (no government intervention in anything ever, except women's wombs) didn't name all of his kids "Ron Paul," a la George Foreman?

    1. carlgt1

      well who the hell would go to an admittedly greedy in-it-for-himself/non-compassionate Randroid Libertarian doctor?

  1. SayItWithWookies

    Robert? I'm not buying it. His real name is Fountainhead Invisible Hand Paul, right?

    1. user-of-owls

      That's the virginal daughter, actually. And she recently became engaged to a Virginia blue-blood named Chesterton Up Skirt Finger Bang, which was really rather inevitable when you put a Fountainhead Invisible Hand and Up Skirt Finger Bang together.

  2. SorosBot

    Ron, Rand and Rob Paul – I'm beginning to notice a naming pattern here, sort of like the male Palins with Tr-.

      1. weejee

        Ron Paul is a big fan of Ayn Rand
        "Atlas Shrugged…1,000 pages of ideological fabulism” – William F. Buckley
        One of the v. few times I'm with Buckley
        QED Paul is an ideological fabulist (at best)

        1. HistoriCat

          Kind of like Scientologists being bused in to see that Battlefield Earth movie – if you're in the cult, you have to like it.

        2. BaldarTFlagass

          I guess the producers and financiers of this movie will be getting the finger from the Invisible Hand of the Market.

    1. poncho_pilot

      Atlas actually held up the sky if i remember correctly. Atlas had Uranus on his shoulders. not the Earth.

  3. CliveWarren

    "Fort Worth"

    Is it like Fort Knox, but instead of gold bars it's filled with self-importance bricks and handwritten "I really am a real medicine doctor-certificates?"

  4. DownFist Troll

    Serious snark for a minute. How can you be a doctor and be opposed to medicare/medicaid? And how can you be a libertarian and opposed to abortion?

    1. natoslug

      Thank you. (sorry, you'd get it if you knew my real name. As it is, this falls flat, and would probably be deleted if this were a sober moment)

        1. natoslug

          Eh — it's just my initials. Which upsets some people, when I put NO on legal docs. they think I'm refusing to sign.

          1. natoslug

            I haven't used "NO NO", but I do occasionally get all exclamatory and use "NO!". Had I thought about it, I would have married a woman with the initials YES. Unfortunately, Yasmine Bleeth is the only Y woman I know (if drooling over her on Nash Bridges counts as knowing someone), and I don't think I could convince her to 1) change her name to Yasmine Erlina Sexypants and 2) marry me.

          2. OkieDokieDog

            Yasmine Erlina Sexypants sounds like a name Britney Spears would pick for a daughter. lol

            Alas my sexual fantasy man has knocked up a bimbo named Kimbo, who is the daughter of Rod Stewart. She could possibly name her child something from a Mod Rod song.

  5. Barbara_i

    Damn you, downfisting troll! Do you know how hard it was to come up with snark for this story? Dumb fat fuck!

    1. poncho_pilot

      i think the troll is a total teabagger nouveau-Randroid. he goes nuts on any post involving the Pauls or comments about Rand.

      and probably like yesterday's troll who actually commented, he's a "libertarian" and thinks he's not a right winger. libertarians are soooo not right wing fascists. nope. no way, man.

  6. weejee

    ♪♫ I said, "Doctor, Doctor, Mr. M.D., . . .
    Now can you tell me what's ailin' me?"
    He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
    Yes, indeed, all you really need . . .
    Is a solid gold standard, blimps, and savant followers ♫♪

  7. calibrit

    Bedtime in the Paul household, circa 1975:

    Ron: "Rand! Hank! Francisco! John Galt Paul! Y'all get to bed now, d'ye hear?"
    Unison: "Don't you oppress me!"

    1. zhubajie

      Libertarians are republicans with rabies. Mention "duty" and watch them foam at the mouth.

    1. poncho_pilot

      obgyn and a libertarian? sounds contradictory in an intrusive way.

      i much prefer Buckaroo Banzai: nuclear physicist-brain surgeon-rock star-race car driver.

  8. MinAgain

    Eugenics is such a double-edged sword. Sometimes it produces a bare-chested Ricardo Montalban, and sometimes it produces a clan of Pauls .

  9. Tommmcattt

    I find it hard to believe that anyone would have the poor taste to fuck Ron Paul more than once.

  10. ttommyunger

    He can join his brother and the Quayle boy at the Senate's Kiddie Table for lunch. Helmets, plastic utensils and goggles all around.

  11. BlueStateLibel

    Is it just me, or isn't a little creepy to give your kids overtly political names ("rob paul to pay peter"). Why are Repubs so creepy with their kids?

Comments are closed.