The important blog Town Hall helps nervous lower-middle-class old white people believe “conservatism” has something to do with them instead of being a three-decade policy of siphoning away their minimal wealth and giving it to the richest 1%. With this mission in mind, TownHall.com publishes absolutely any fringe-wingnut op-ed writer it can find, including fired-by-everybody-else has-beens like Ann Coulter. So it wasn’t really surprising when the “#1 conservative website” had a bizarre opinion piece claiming that Barack Obama’s mother-in-law was practicing some kind of freaky Mexican-Colored voodoo in the White House. Wonkette wrote about it, the author of the piece sent an angry email to Wonkette, the email was immediately published, and hundreds of Wonkette commenters had a delightful time of it all. But who was this mysterious wingnut writer?
The bloggers at the Times of London were horrified, even if the Wonkette commenters saw “hoax” all over it. Still, it was only a little bit beyond “mainstream Tea Party opinion,” and today it looks positively quaint compared to the racist ravings of Donald Trump, the actual frontrunner for the Republican nomination.
And now the writer, “Kristen Atkinson,” has written to your editor to explain that it was all a simple prank to get the TownHall.com readers to amp up their racist comments. Which is what happened, and after Wonkette encouraged the non-TownHall.com world to enjoy the “Michelle Obama’s Mom Is a Witch” story, the whole thing vanished off Town Hall.
Kristen is apparently John Wright — or maybe that’s part of the elaborate, years-old prank too? — and he claims to be a Seattle writer who is the author of this new book, The Obama Haters.
And now your comments about this fake blog post that was made to elicit crazy comments from wingnuts is celebrated in yet another book about Barack Obama, hooray for Democra$$$y: “The satirical Web site Wonkette was the most entertaining. It made a hilarious spoof of my blog, and its readers ridiculed the author without pity as a moron and a fanatic.”
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This is becoming quite an enema wrapped up in a anus burger…
Bunless I hope . Watch those carbs.
LOL. (literally) An enema anus snack wrap.
Deserves 50+ upfists. I'm so glad I did not have a mouthful of coffee when I read this.
Have you been saving that for the perfect moment? It seems finely crafted.
So what's our cut?
I think you guys are on the same payscale as the HuffPo bloggers.
So thank god at least we're funny(er).
Says something about the sad state of humor on the web that Town Hall posters aren't considered funnier.
Town Hall is a Satire site, right?
All the blogs we can eat?
Trucknutz, duh.
How many times must I say this, its because they're BLACK. Period
Ridicule without pity. We live and breathe this stuff.
That is what should be on the Wonkette t-shirt.
You SEE, Town Hall readers are not racists. The whole thing was a libtard conspiracy to make them say insanely racist things they wouldn't have said if they hadn't so willingly believed that the Obamas were practicing negro magic in the white house.
Bitches set us up!
The irony is that that is exactly what so many of us Obama supporters wanted, some real negro magic. Now nobody's happy.
The sad thing is, like with Bigfoot and the crop circles even after the hoaxer admits it was a hoax people will go on believing it.
Bigfoot's a hoax?!
After the guy behind Bigfoot died, his family revealed that the whole thing was a prank:
http://articles.latimes.com/2002/dec/06/local/me-...
Fine. What's next? Are you going to tell Ken that the a bunny doesn't leave the Peeps at Casa Layne on Easter Morning?
PS Chocolate covered Peeps are outrageous. I give up sweets for Lent but am stocking up on special Peeps for an Easter sugar orgy.
Because the explanation is way too complicated for your average teabagger to follow past the third sentence. They'll get to the part where someone posted on Town Hall that Obama's mom is a witch doctor voodoo hoodoo person (doesn't really matter which – they're all done by scary black people so they must be the same, right?) and their brains won't be able to follow anything after that, so they'll just keep on believing it.
Maybe they're on to something, disbelieving Darwin and all. Survival of the fittest is certainly starting to seem like a joke. (Or did they misunderstand him, and he really just said "survival of the fattest?")
Yes, it's quite ironic that modern science, developed by the evolved brain of a chimpanzee, now has put an end to survival of the fittest by allowing–nay, forcing!–the unfittest to survive well beyond their natural lifespans, and to reproduce despite any appreciable survival skills (in the natural world, anyway). But don't worry, Darwin will take over again once we have Devo'd into Idiocracy.
the herd could definitely use a good culling
I always consider the stupidity of the herd to be what allows a lazy fuck like myself a decent job. If the herd got culled, I might have to compete against people who actually knew what they were doing.
Please don't correct me if my logic is weak — I think I may have added too much vermouth in my second lunchtini, and may not be totally on top of my game, logic (and vision)-wise.
Once we have? We're living in the end times, o my colleague!
We haven't gone far enough–the idiots are still breeding and surviving and thriving. Still devoing.
"They'll get to the part where someone posted on Town Hall that Obama's mom is a witch doctor voodoo hoodoo person (doesn't really matter which – they're all done by scary black people so they must be the same, right?)"
All black people do voodoo all the time; that's how they manage to run everything and get everyone prejudiced against white people.
thats a feature, not a bug.
will be remedied in v2.0
Crop circles are real.
Atypical of their Toussaint L'Ouverture inspired black nationalism, they practice neither Vodou nor Santeria. But, they remain, as ever, without self-control.
So now the ad would read:
"I'm not you. I'm you."
Am I getting this shit right?
"I'm not a witch, I'm you people."
"I'm you, and maybe you… but not him."
So are all the rest of the TownHall.com writers gonna 'fess up now?
Donald Trump is going to tear off his mask any minute now and reveal he's really Ashton Kutcher, but then … removes another mask and it's really Al Franken!!RETARDLICANS, YOU BEEN CUBE PUNKD!
Because that is how we roll "It made a hilarious spoof of my blog, and its readers ridiculed the author without pity as a moron and a fanatic." And as for "Why are you people so rude?" "Does anybody take anything seriously anymore?" We're just trying to be amused.
But we used to be disgusted.
When the show kept running from farce to farce, we are entertained like Parisians during the Reign of Terror, what can we do but laugh?
One can only hope that the entire teabagger thing ends up being some complicated hoax. It's really the simplest explanation, other than one-third of Americans being hateful, ignorant bigots . . .
Based on my non-scientific survey of the hateful, ignorant, bigoted okies who I call my friends and neighbors, I'd have to say it's more like 50% of Americans. At least.
Glad to have you posting. Safe at home? Wicked Witch dead yet?
Oh, i just got it–a tornado sympathy message. Missed us. Got some hail. Hope it didn't fuck up the brand new roofs (the house and outbuildings) we got from Farm Bureau last year. While I'm on okie shit, a Land Man offered us cash money to lease some of our land and an additional 100 acres we sold–but not the mineral rights. No siree. We kept those. California billies who bought the land from the guy we sold it to are totally ignorant of the fact that trucks could show up and start drilling for oil in their backyard.
Welcome to the Dust Bowl, losers.
Haha glad you are in good spirits.
I grew up in Los Angeles a couple of blocks from some old timey oil wells. We used to play there.No problem for us. Giant!
They may be hateful, ignorant, bigoted Okies, but they're our hateful, ignorant, bigoted Okies.
Applied for a job in a state university there once–then I found out I'd a had to sign a loyalty oath to teach American politics.
"One can only hope that the entire teabagger thing ends up being some complicated hoax."
It is a hoax, but the teabaggers themselves don't know that.
Perhaps its all fake, the teabagger movement, Sarah Palin, Joaquin Phoenix, Bohner's tears, Bachmann, Glenn Beck's blackboards, Trump's toupee…
Maybe it'll be like Dallas and we'll all wake up from some horrible nightmare.
But, with all the guns we own, if we find
an home invaderPatrick Duffy in our shower, we'll shoot him.This story will not have an happy ending.
At least Ken is honest about not paying us commenters anything (*kaff* *kaff* Huffpo *kaff*).
It's not like Wonkette gets anything out of this guy's prank. Anything but laffs, that is ….
We know you run the whole operation from one of those 10k dollar talking Japanese toilets with all that filthy t-shirt money, admit it!
So long as the whole black magic thing involves plenty of naked sexy time between POTUS and FLOTUS and no one gets hurt, I say let 'em alone.
Not entirely on topic, but may I just say that it's a regular pleasure that, for the first time since the JFK era, we have a President that the straight women and gay men can fap to.
Does smearing ashes on your forhead on a certain Wednesday every year, or dipping your hand in holy water to sign the cross seem even slightly witchy in ritual? Maybe thats why the Pope accepts Rasta.
I'm Jewish and we have some crazy stuff too- will someone write a story about me??
Three nuns and a priest confessed to having sexual relations. The head priest says as part of their penance they have to anoint the part of their body they used in the transaction.
The first nun dips her hand into the water, as does the second. The priest is at first hesitant but under the baleful eye of the head priest he pulls up his rob and dips his penis into the water.
The third nun quickly backs away and says, "if you think I'm gargling with that, you're nuts!"
OH! And it's a pun, too!
Please let Glenn Beck be an elaborate hoax, too.
I saw Avenue Q last week. Since I have the score memorized, it was hard not to singalong, so I just lip-synced. Anyway, I wondered if they would update the "George Bush! is only for now," line. It's now "Glenn Beck!, is only for now."
We can only hope.
At least we had fun! That's the most important thing about Ameriduh 2011. Fucking fun!
He likes us! He really likes us!
Yes sweetie, and when he's a little older he'll ask you to the prom get you drunk and knock you up if you are not careful.
…Wonkette was the most entertaining.
Well of fucking course it was! Still is, prick…
It made a hilarious spoof of my blog, and its readers ridiculed the author without pity as a moron and a fanatic
Because it takes one to know one, no one knows morono-fanaticism like Wonkette!
i liked 'dizzy children' better.
since most of us aren't really either.
Teabaggery: But we've got no defense for it, what good would common sense for it do?
Aaah. Witchcraft. Wicked Witchcraft.
"Although I know it's strictly taboo!"
Perfectly on point, since we're talking about when they do that voodoo that they do so well.
The Tea Bag agenda in one easily explained talking point:
There are niggers living in the White House. Uppity college professor, corporate board member ones too. The world is no longer white, the end has come so I am going to give all my oldster dog food money to the Kochs, cause its the only patriotic thing to do.
And using the bathrooms, too, also, in addition to….
Still, it was only a little bit beyond “mainstream Tea Party opinion,” and today it looks positively quaint compared to the racist ravings of Donald Trump, the actual frontrunner for the Republican nomination.
Now I'm truly depressed at how Exceptionally Stupid Americans have become. A Nation of Bedwetters, indeed.
Bedwetters who gladly roll around in their own piss, too lazy to get the fuck up and clean themselves off and reconsider their situation. Proudly caterwauling at every opportunity that it's their 'God Given right' to enjoy the freedom to marinate in their own urine–and to be pissed on by their corporate masters.
also, i don't know how much research that 'obama haters' guy had to do or how long he had to spend in the trenches but his head must be asploding.
So now the crazy racist olds will feel their crazy racism has been vindicated, because they were tricked. That makes a ton of sense.
This iswhy I get my news from Wonkette and not TownHall.
I just looked in my Tasks and Standards and making fun of morons and fanatics is the third item. It is further described as a difficult task of moderate difficulty.
It used to be of moderate difficulty but of late I have downgraded it to trivial.
They should have known it was a hoax from the start. The only witchcraft in the White House came from Nancy Reagan (the astrology thing was just a cover)…
So THAT's how that shriveled old nutsack got elected!
Great. So the Wingnuts get some brainy-pants being all clever and winding them up with smartiness, and what do we get?
A Cheetos-munching fleshlight-banging Downfister.
No Fair.
This here Wonkette website is gettin' too danged highbrow for my taste. I'm going back to doin' my writing in the men's room.
needs more wide stanzas?
[ya'll need not upfist that, it is truly awful, just try not to downfist me]
"Now I sit here
Broken-hearted
Paid my dime
But only farted"
That better?
Townhall is a brand name that stands for intelligence, wisdom and tolerance*
*actually it doesn't.
* Not intended to be a factual statement.
Not meant to be a factual statement.
"Townhall is a brand name that stands for intelligence, wisdom and tolerance"
And cakes we like.
wut?
"Kristen Atkinson"
I don't know about you, but I'm hard.
This sounds suspiciuosly like one of those Star Trek "Whip around the sun" time travel plots…
NERD!!!! (I get it…..)
Oh the Time Space Continuuminess of it all.
Where's Q when you need him?
Someday a white man will return to the WH and all the fun will end.
*I just got another pee, so fuck you all. Eat my dust, you under 100-pee bitches.
*Ed. note from wonketteshrink: Statement indicative of person deluded by thoughts that the esteem of a group of potty-mouthed losers is more important than using the computer for constructive work.
Well…yeah…
Hey, wait just a dang minute. I'm not a potty-mouthed los……Oh, yeah, I guess I am. Well, fuck it, snark on and upfists for everybody. At least they're free.
Somehow. this is giving meta a bad name.
You know who else was a prankster?
Ken Kesey?
and he was merry!
Marla Maples.
James Okeefe?
And now the writer, “Kristen Atkinson,” has written to your editor to explain that it was all a simple prank to get the TownHall.com readers to amp up their racist comments.
Luring and baiting the morons at Townhall and RedState has been a source of amusement and recreation for a lot of us Wonkette Commenters for some time now. To be honest, I'd never thought to make it into some sort of science project. Excellent work, "Kristen Atkinson!"
Three words: LUKUMI BABALU AYE….'nuff said.
Yemaya, Ogun and Shango approve this message.
They noted the conspicuous lack of serifs.
The properly spelled words and well formed sentences and actual Trumpical "good word usage" things probably made most think it was impossible to have come from such a fringebagger.
Goodness, I go away for a bit and all this fun stuff happens! NO MOAR VACATIONS WILL MISS THE WONKETTERRY.
Makes me proud to be an American……Oh wait no it doesn't. Jessus this is a country full of stupid people
Well, you are what you eat
Where's Luca Brasi? He would take care of the problem but, as usual, the fucker didn't show up for work.
I have reprogrammed my hearing aids so that when someone says: "I read it on the internet." the things shut off.
I thought they also get official goldline gold foil wrapped coins as well? If not…then fuck being a racist, lying psychopath online for a living…I need a new line of work. They told me those was what valuables, too…
Hey it's nice to see a little libtard prank humor popping up again, especially when it comes to President Obama and getting the JUST and I mean JUST below the surface vile racism of your average teatard to erupt like a volcano. Good show! Now if this same guy can just get drunken Boner to drop the N-bomb talking about Obama while either Jack or (still?) intern Riley films it…our lives will be complete.
Taco voodoo mauve
I never considered 'Clown Hall'. What a perfect name for that group of asshats.
You should never you the term "vilest swill" loosely.
My first thought was that the author must be applying for a job and is afraid of being linked to the piece. Of course it was a hoax!
If you ridicule someone as a moron and a fanatic, you will be right at least 27% of the time.
No shoutout for sending you the David Cay Johnson story link yesterday, Ken? Okay, I can deal with it.
The "#1 conservative website" is deep in the #2.
Brilliant.
How do we know if the Wonkette isn't some kind of front by the TEa BaGGersS meant to lure us into saying negative things about dumb old paraplegic white folk? How do we know???? My brain just exploded. ACK. ACK. ACK……
It sure as Hell ain't golden.
WIN!!
Oh yeah!
Now, now! Just a little literary license at work here, a little gilding of the Lilly. The girls were actually just dishing about how Barry was such a "Wizard under the sheets.".
Doesn't matter- if you land in AZ, they bury the brown survivors?
Oh- and I thought it was a Millet-
Is my face ever red!
We are famous! This is how you get famous these days, right?
Well, you're probably too old to be a catamite, amirite?
Sorry, but I just hadn't used catamite in a sentence in a long time, and something came over me.
Sometimes I think our culture has a trickster God, whether or not we realize it.
Oh nato, the simple fact that you recognize that you're a lazy fuck is proof that you are far superior to anyone that supposedly knows what they are doing.
Please, enjoy a brunchtini on me.
Then we are well and truly fucked. And I did enjoy my third brunchtini, although not so much the after-effects.
Drinking away the moments that make up a work day
You stagger and puke the hours in an awkward way.
Stumbling around on a piece of ground in your home bar
Waiting for someone or something to blow you away . . .
Lying supine with the bedspins
Called in sick again today,
You are young and life is long
And there are brain cells left today.
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