food fight

Sarah Palin To Be Pelted With Cheese Curds In Wisconsin Saturday

Sucks to be you!The Koch Brothers think it’s hilarious when their dumb puppets have to go face huge, angry crowds of political opponents. Remember the movie Trading Places? It’s the same idea: Incredibly rich old white creeps just torture their own lackeys whenever it gets dull oppressing the faceless poor and destroying the Earth to make Dixie Cups and Brawny paper douche towels. So the Koch Brothers are bringing Sarah Palin to Madison, right there at the State Capitol, for an “Americans For Prosperity” rally. Haha the union people and college kids are going to pelt her with a million pounds of Wisconsin’s famous Fried Cheese Turds. Or curds, whatever. Curdle Rain. Poor snowbilly grifter!

Saturday, as in this weekend, the Wasilla dingbat is comin’ to get her paycheck:

Saturday looks to be a very busy day Downtown. Along with the tea party rally, the Capitol Square will host a counter-rally as well as the season’s first Dane County Farmers’ Market.

Farmers’ Market manager Larry Johnson said he expects all of his vendors to show up, but he isn’t sure what the protest will mean for turnout.

“I don’t know if they will be buying from us, or getting in the way,” Johnson said.

In other words, all the vendors will be selling lots of old tomatoes and many thousands of pounds of rancid cheese curds.

The terrible thing about the Fried Cheese Curds plot is that you can’t ban Wisconsin’s most beloved food outside at the State Capitol on a nice spring weekend. It’s just food, jeez Hitler.

Oh hell YEAH there is a side of ranch. Gonna PUNISH these things ... and then buy an extra order for Da Grifta.But anyone who has been repeatedly pelted with day-old fried cheese curds will tell you there’s nothing fun about it. First, they get greasy as H-E-double hockey sticks. And after sitting in the trunk of a car all night, for some reason, they also get kind of hard and rubbery — more than when you eat them, we mean.

It’s a shame this country has turned into such an evil socialist toilet that midwesterners would stoop so low as to stoop down and get a handful of cheese curds and hurl them at Sarah Palin, the Koch Brothers’ latest human prank on Wisconsin. [TPM/]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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          1. ChessieNefercat

            I feel bleu, knowing that cheezy dolt will be in spitting distance of my town in Michigan where the teatards are holding their stupid rally on the same day, attended by our state rep and senator, as well as our US rep.

          2. poncho_pilot

            danke. the wages of sin are Catholic High School where i took four years of Deutsche because they didn't have a Latin (lolwut?) class.

  1. SayItWithWookies

    Gover Palin was given the choice of cheese curds or a Q&A period. She chose cheese curds.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        She figures she's used to looking at cottage cheese, having seen Bristol's thighs in a bikini on the Heath-Palin Hawai'ian retreats.

  2. poncho_pilot

    the size of the teabagger rally will likely Palin comparison to the size of the counter-protest.

    1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

      After years of pranking unsuspecting co-workers, I can assure you that bottled Elk urine concentrate will have a much more favourable affect.

      1. jus_wonderin

        Can we just skip the middleman and pee directly on her? Unless she likes that sort of thing.

        1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

          We'll have to get the 'go-ahead' from Big Elk Urine, but I personally have no problem with that.

  3. Radio_Level_7

    Trunk-cured, three day old cheese curds will make her quit half way through her "speech."
    n_i_c, were counting on you.

  4. nounverb911

    "the union people and college kids are going to pelt her with a million pounds of Wisconsin’s famous Fried Cheese Turds"
    Eat cheese and die!

  5. Warpde

    Slarah (too Jewish?) can look at it on the bright side. It will cover up all the Kock cum around her mouth.

  6. Left_Leftie

    I wonder which one of her baby grizzlies she'll use as a human shield. Piper or Tripp or Trigger ?

    1. poncho_pilot

      or Track or Trapper or Prig or Portia or Tripe or Trug or Pillow or Tristan or Popper. i could go on forever.

      1. Ken Layne

        No way would ol' Word Salad use an actual beautiful name like Portia. But "Porsche-a" is not at all out of the question for Bristol & Sarah's third child.

  7. nounverb911

    "Sarah Palin to Madison, right there at the State Capitol, for an “Americans For Prosperity” rally."
    Is Palin for prosperity or against it?

      1. Fukui_sanYesOta

        That really is pretty much the deal.

        Between the Koch-pumps, the Walker-wanking and, of course, a massive speaking fee for everyone's favorite grifting illiterate, it's patently obvious who the prosperous are intended to be.

  8. CliveWarren

    Walker hasn't gassed the Curds yet? What kind of a dictatorship does he think he is running…

  9. Negropolis

    Madison should pass on her ass like a strong bowel movement.

    BTW, Americans for Prosperity had a rally here in Michigan the other day. 400 people turned up. The gathering was so small you almost couldn't make them out on the capitol lawn. Looked like a normal Wednesday afternoon with all of the lobbyist that are wont to hang out around the capitol portico and all.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Statistics are known to have a liberal bias.

      I, for one, know at least half a million turned up for that rally.

      1. Negropolis

        I was surprised and glad for once that all of the dailies in the state covered this accurately, and stopped overestimating their crowd sizes. They even went so far as to remark how much smaller it was than the 5,000-strong union protest the day before. The Tea Party is so last year.

  10. pinkocommi

    "the Koch Brothers are bringing Sarah Palin to Madison, right there at the State Capitol, for an 'Americans For Prosperity FOR THE KOCH BROTHERS: HOBO BEANS FOR EVERYONE ELSE' rally."

    There. Fixed.

  11. bumfug

    Compared to what Sarah deserves to be pelted with, cheese curds and old tomatoes are like rose petals.

    1. moralturpentine

      Well if, wait which new wingnut governor is this in support of again? Rick Scott Snyder? Now is that they guy who reminds me of the martinet high school principal or the one who reminds me of the guy down the street who's always talking about his rental properties or his ghastly yellow sports car or strippers? Anyway, well if he has is way I'm sure it won't be long until there is plenty of actual shit in the street to throw at the deserving.

    2. Negropolis

      Yes, greasy, salty, deep-fried rose petals. Mmmm…."rose petals"…

      Fuck; now I've done gone and made myself hungry.

  12. DownFist Troll

    Dear jeebus.

    If you find it in your finite wisdom to use your magical powers to direct a hurled tomato and or rotting hunk of cheese directly into Sarah Lou's open mouth on live TV; I and the rest of the wonketteers, pledge to get drunk that saturday night, in your honor.

    allahu akbar

    1. bumfug

      Full disclosure – I'm going to get drunk even if they miss. Fuck that – even if they don't even throw anything.

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Hmmm… A noisy, chaotic rabble against an elite member of the Conservative ruling class.

    Which group is like the Founders again?

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      Don't ask Palin; she can't even name the fucking founders.

      When Glenneth Beck picks you up on that, you're in trouble.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Thomas Paine, a common-sense conservative, don't you know, was a devout Christian. So, quite assuredly, the Tea Party are the Patriots.

    3. Ken Layne

      "Which group is like the Founders again? "

      The elite members of the ruling class, unfortunately. But we've all (?) had fun these past 234 years pretending otherwise, now and then ….

      1. Negropolis

        Jesus is always the answer. Apparently, he's also The Word (along with the bird), The Truth(iness), and The (Am)Way.

  14. Mumbletycurd

    Indigestion breeds contempt, is how this should play out, if there's any justice in the world.

  15. James Michael Curley

    "I think I saw that face just before they took me in for the operation."
    – Randle McMurphy

  16. ManchuCandidate

    Hey Downfister!

    Merely an observation, but your "friend" BobSalem went from 101p to 88p (haha) thanks in large part to a thousand+ downfists in 24 hours from many readers of Wonkette. No one here had to urge/rally anyone to downfist him. BobSalem's own stupid words did that.

    So, Spanky how does it feel to be as impotent on the web as you are in real life?

    When you show up, you actually make my day because I know that despite how bad I feel about myself or shitty my day at work goes I know that there is someone I can't sink lower than.

    It really does bother you when we make fun of you. I can tell by all the times you change your "screen" name. Yet you don't even have the balls to post a comment. What are you really afraid of? p-scores don't mean shit. It doesn't make anyone's comments any less or more funny or stupid (in the case of many your fellow travelers.) Unless you're so pathetic and insecure that any number is a reflection of… oh yeah. It always come back to the penis. I'm so sorry Tiny… er Spanky.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      How do you know they're not into that, cuckolding (Sarah with Todd's business partner) & such (whatever the reverse is)?

  17. finallyhappy

    On game days, I've seen "Bucky Badger fucked your mother" shirts. I'm guessing Bucky wouldn't do Sarah.

    1. ThundercatHo

      Bucky's offspring are more intelligent than Trigger, Trapper, Swill and Swallow. At least they know when to stay in their holes.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Badgers can't be choosers. If nothing else, Barry Alvarez &/or his son would take one for the team & lay with Sarah.

  18. MARCdMan

    Are these actual cheese curds or the cottage cheese she had siphoned off her thighs for the last campaign?

  19. WordSaladNation

    I know it's not Wisconsin, but I'll be attending a showing of Atlas Shrugged in Fairfield County, Connecticut this weekend. Oh, I'll be reporting back to Wonkette, believe me. BRING THE CHEESE, JOHN GALT.

    1. El Pinche

      Give it a month, Atlas Shrugged will be on sale for $2.97 next to the Left Behind DVD series at Walmart.

    2. mrpuma2u

      Make sure to ask the tea bag/after birther/mouth breathing idiots why they aren't virulent atheists like good ol' Ayn Rand.

  20. carlgt1

    How can these idiots "Rally for Prosperity" when the prosperity is only for the upper 1%? I guess if they repeat the word "prosperity" enough (as in Michelle Bachmann's infamous way) then prosperity will come true for all Americans? Or just the 1% to pay off enough of the dumb teabaggers so it looks like a "grass roots movement for prosperity?"

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      " I guess if they repeat the word "prosperity" enough (as in Michelle Bachmann's infamous way) then prosperity will come true for all Americans? "

      Unfortunately, they are physically unable to click their heels three times, and thus unable to complete the magic mantra.

  21. Jerri

    I don't understand why perfectly good fried cheese curds have to go to waste. The crowd will probably think it's a gift from heaven anyway.

    Maybe instead, the cheese curds could be used to create a Hansel & Gretel-like path to lure them somewhere fun and exciting like a house party where they will, in '80s movie fashion, at first be totally angry, scared, and out of their element, but soon having a blast with all the drunk college kids, everyone will have learned something, and we can put all this ugliness behind us.

    Ask me about my Fred Savage/Judge Reinhold "Vice Versa" model for foreign policy!

    1. [redacted]hse

      I say, "Why waste good cheese curds?" Simply eat them the day before the rally, then throw them once they come out.

      1. Ken Layne

        Remember, patriots, the fried cheese curds must be old and inedible. Please don't waste food — simply collect the unfinished third orders off the various tavern tables in Madison tonight.

        (You'll know when the table is done with the cheese curds when a) the beers are all empty and b) there are a lot of guys throwing up outside in the parking lot before driving home.)

        1. Jerri

          As a fried cheese lovin' Wisconsinite, this "unfinished" fried cheese curd concept just doesn't compute.

    2. Rotundo_

      Agreed, throwing food, even stale and inedible greasy food at these people will do nothing but encourage them, and then they go use the facilities in Madison and literally clog the entire of Madison's sewer system with gigantic floaters from the literal bowels of Hell. The Teatards will leave, but their leavings will have an impact for some time to come. The state isn't going to come to Madisons rescue anymore either, and that will leave Madison no alternative but to dump their waste into the street drains of all those lovely suburbs of Milwaukee. Smell ya later Waukesha County! This really would not be in the public interest.

  22. TsunamiAli

    OT but downfister knave is into Lou Sarah because all the Palin jokes at the end got downfisted HARD. I am upfisting for prosperity as we speak.

    1. 102415

      She starts at the end on purpose. I won't give it page views. Just looking at her profile in your 5 last visited lets you get all the douchy laughs you need. Let her give us the page views and when we see her just give your fellow wonkateers some love.

  23. horsedreamer_1

    The question: even as Scooter has claimed he will not be attending*, will tentatively-reselected State Scrote Justice David Prosser be coming? He already appeared at a Teabag event in Wisconsin Dells, & it wasn't held so much against him — why not double-down on the crazy?

    *Scooter, along with the nominally-Democrat Sheriff of Milwaukee County (Clarke), appeared at an early Teabag event, Spring '09, in Veterans Park on Milwaukee's Lakeshore. Scooter cannot run from the fringe, then. (Or, he can try, but he won't succeed.)

  24. mrpuma2u

    It is a far, far cheddar thing that I do, to pelt the Wasilla grifter with a cheese curd (with a rock inside it) than I have ever done.

  25. cheeze_us

    i will be there, yelling at bible spice. (join me ! c'mon, it'll be fun !)

    but i would not ever throw cheese curds at her…what a waste. empty bottles of Spotted Cow, maybe.

    1. mrpuma2u

      What about a crumpled up Point beer can??? Make sure some bystander you "don't know" (nudge nudge, wink wink) gets video.

  26. politics_nerd

    Why wont she please just die in jail like all the other good, upstanding, honorable fucktard dipshit republicans?

  27. 102415

    Some one call Code Pink. They know what to do. I love the Spring with all the traditional bitch cheese wrestling that you get in our dairy farming communities.

  28. Chet Kincaid

    Interesting that Gawker, of all Media, is stirring up the Palin Birther Movement again, pointing out an Academic's compiled evidence that she ain't Trig's Mom:!5791915/did-sarah-palin-carry

    I think this is hilarious, truth or falsity be damned. As long as the Mainstream Media keeps giving exposure to Obama Birthers, Palin Birthers deserve the same exposure. (And my Lord, what if it's actually true?)

  29. heyderehey

    If anyone ends up going, be nice and buy from the vendors! My aunt and uncle run a cheese curd and bakery stand (perfect for pelting Sarah with, if that's your choice) on the square and I'm sure it's going to be a rough day for them what with the cold and the rallies on top of it.

  30. P8triot


    Do you recommend any particular whine to go with that cheese? The usual? Or do you have a featured whine in this case?

  31. MilwaukeeKent

    Cue the palm trees, Fox goes where Palin goes. You know, no one's actually succeeded in tipping over her tour bus yet…Counter-productive? Sure. Likely to alienate people more than endear them to the cause? Of course. Satisfying as hell? You betcha!
    See some of you there, but I'm keeping myself the hell away from her bus. Tip to Palin security: smuggle her out in a garbage dumpster and one of those trucks.

  32. Isyaignert

    The Koch brothers are EXACTLY like the notorious Duke brothers in "Trading Places" and I hope to hell that the Kock's greed has the same outcome as it did for the Dukes.

  33. CookiE_MonstA

    Madison is a real Liberal bastion, unlike much of the rest of the state. This should be good, real good.

  34. philipjames

    so Ken Layne is a jerk off… good to know. does he wear panties when he does it in front of his computer watching George Stephanopoulos or Chris Matthews…. which leg does the "tingle" run down? left or right?
    Cheese curds? aren't those the things that come out of Ken Layne's butt hole?

  35. hunrodr

    wow… lefties are clever,,,,you're nothing but internet thugs and crowd-bullies….get a job and pay some bills…then let's talk

    1. q_tion_evrythng

      I'm bored, so thought I'd reply. Mr. or Ms. hunrodr–Thank you for your sincere compliment. Glad to be told that as a leftie I am clever. It takes an educated mind, a sense of humor, coupled with an ability to laugh at oneself to be clever. As for being an internet thug–please explain. Crowd bully, depends on your interpretation. For another example of crowdbully, go to the conservatives4palin website, for an example of crowdbullies. At least Wonkette publishes your comments. conservatives4palin deletes comments if they do not present Palin in a positive light. Have a job, pay my bills on time, and have a credit rating that would make lots of folks cry with envy. Ready to talk. I'll check back for your reply if I'm still bored. My best.

  36. q_tion_evrythng

    Cheese curds, moose turds, or a combination thereof. Now, there's a smellovisual worthy of the stink we've had to put up with from Palin's oral cavities over the past 2 plus years!

  37. rocktonsam

    While in Madison, $arah should go to State Street. Stop by to a Room Of Ones Own,buy a book, say howdy and see what real Merkia looks like.

  38. CessnaDriver

    Hate to tell everyone, but the fried cheese curds at the Minnesota State Fair are terrific.

    I don't what they are like when made with that barf the 'sconnies call "cheese".

  39. abelilnkinverb

    As a sconie I would never waste cheese curbs on Palin. They are reserved for some ranch followed by a nice lager.

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