Conservative Nonprofit Awards Jeb Bush $250,000 Genius Grant

  just like that philip seymour hoffman movie!

Hey, he can finally move out of that cardboard box!Mazel tov to Jeb Besh, who will be awarded a “Bradley Prize” next month from the Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, a Wisconsin-based conservative charity that likes to shovel out grant money to the neediest people of all, like Bill Bennett and Antonin Scalia. A Bradley Prize is basically a suitcase of $250,000 this nonprofit hands out to rich conservatives it likes every year on stage at the Kennedy Center. Yes, that’s the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. So passing Jeb Bush a quarter-million dollar check must just be an art performance of some kind that is beyond our ability to appreciate.

“Governor Bush has been at the forefront of education reform,” said Michael W. Grebe, president and chief executive officer of the Bradley Foundation. “During his administration and since, Florida students have made incredible gains. He has also been a vocal advocate for school choice.”

Writes Wonkette operative “Steven G.”:

Seriously, couldn’t they have given him a plaque and donated the prize money to some actual poor kids in Florida for their education? Oh, never mind.

Privatizing education is what’s important, not educating kids, silly!

The Bradley Foundation hopes the money will help Jeb Bush continue to be a guy who once did something they liked. It’s tough work and very expensive being somebody who once had an impact on public policy, so we’re sure Bush will put this money to good use. If there’s one thing his poor family needs, it’s handouts from a charity. And if they have to murder a few hundred thou to get it, who cares? [Bradley Foundation]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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