Nobama, ever.Did you hear Barack Obama is giving a big speech tomorrow? He’s probably going to announce that the Koch Brothers will be managing his re-election campaign, and that the working poor will pay a 35% tax on all grocery and gasoline purchases for the next year, because “we all need to chip in to lower the budget or whatever” and talent like the Koch Brothers doesn’t come cheap! Can you believe anyone on “The Left” was ever excited about this Obama fraud? We can believe it, because we heard him lie through his phony smile for two years on the campaign trail. Remember how Barry was going to end the wars, rebuild America’s infrastructure, put renewable energy and mass transit all across the country, crack down on industrial polluters, raise taxes on the super-rich, etc., etc. All lies! Everything the guy has ever said was a lie. Back when Obama was blowing Weather Underground hero Bill Ayers in Chicago, that was just part of the elaborate deception, too. Leftist street cred. Same thing with the “Oh I’m down with Jay-Z and Stevie Wonder.” Obama hates “urban music,” and always has. Guy grew up in Hawaii, listening to nothing but Jimmy Buffett and Sammy Hagar.

So, on Wednesday afternoon this guy is going to give a “big speech,” about how he’s going to dismantle the rest of the federal government — all except the Pentagon and Guantanamo and the Treasury and the Federal Reserve and the various departments dedicated to bailing out Goldman Sachs and making sure GE doesn’t have to pay any taxes.

The Kaplan Washington Post reports tonight:

President Obama faces a growing rebellion on the left as he courts independent voters and Republicans with his vision for reducing the nation’s debt by cutting government spending and restraining the costs of federal health insurance programs ….

“The fundamental problem in our country right now is unemployment and a jobs crisis, not a deficit crisis,” said Deepak Bhargava, executive director of the Center for Community Change, an advocacy group for the poor. “It appears the president is fighting on the wrong terrain and is conceding that the only thing we should be talking about is how to bring down the deficit.”

Yeah, great idea ignoring not only the people who elected you, but the old and the poor and the unemployed and the sick and basically anyone who very much needs help in the third year of the Hellish Recession. GREAT JOB BARRY, you are truly the New Reagan.

Except you aren’t, because Reagan was both popular and white, and you squandered the first and will never be the second. Republicans will never love you. They don’t even think you’re an American!

Enjoy the private golf courses and million-dollar speaking fees, Obama. That’s all you’ll have, when this is all over. And that’s probably all you ever cared about. After all, according to your autobiography, your first job was on Wall Street. [Kaplan Washington Post]

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  • nounverb911

    The enemy of my enemy is my friend? Or is the friend of my enemy is also my enemy?
    We live in confusing times.

  • GeneralLerong

    I think I'll go read Say Hello to Zorro. It goes good with the drugs.

    • jus_wonderin

      That is a cute book.

  • nounverb911

    "Remember how Barry was going to rebuild America’s infrastructure"
    Needs more Pawlenty.

    • horsedreamer_1

      With an hockey-stick as the Horn of Pawlenty?

    • Well he wuz gov with I35W collapsed.

    • LeAlbatross

      You need sleep?

  • Blendergoathead

    I do believe that playing Jimmy Buffett will get you killed in Hawaii. And not in a good way.

    Or, maybe, playing Jimmy Buffett in Hawaii will get you killed. It's been a while.

    • smokefilledroommate

      There is no joy in Margaritaville. Mighty Hopey has apparently struck sold out.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I always preferred Pinacoladabourough.

  • mszardi

    Amazing! ElectaBlog predicted this very post HOURS ago!! "Preempive Whinging is the New Norm for the Professional Left"

  • Buzz Feedback

    Today we are all Morans.

    • PocketsTheClown

      Shit. (MORAN) I gave those lousy-golfing titsicles money.

    • MaxUdargo

      I've pretty much decided I'm going to vote for the Republican candidate for president. in 2012, whoever he or she may be. It's just no fun having a Democrat as a Republican president. It's kind of heart-breaking, actually. I'd rather have a Republican as a Republican president.

      If I'm going to get fucked up the ass and watch my beloved country trashed by ideological vandals, then I need to adopt a surrealist frame of mind. I need to be able to enjoy the absurdity of it all. Having Trump or Palin or Bachmann as president would of course be disastrous, but it would be so fucking hilariously disastrous. We might as well have fun with it.

      We may be going to hell in a bucket, but at least we can enjoy the ride.

      And it's the only way to get back at Barry, Destroyer of All Hope. He thinks he can let his right-wing freak flag fly because the Republicans can't field a viable alternative in 2012. He thinks he has his base where he wants us. A liberal like me surely isn't going to vote for The Donald. Well, guess again Barry, you asshole.

      • tessiee

        "He thinks he can let his right-wing freak flag fly because the Republicans can't field a viable alternative in 2012. He thinks he has his base where he wants us. "

        "What are you gonna do, vote Republican?" — Bulworth

        • anti0aquabudda

          At least the republicans appear to be united in trying to balance the budget. What are the Dems united against? The anti-Bush unification worked well, but can't be used any more. The Dems need to show some leadership and some actual results or 2012 election will be even worse than 2010.

    • anti0aquabudda

      We are ALL morons? NOPE!! Just those of us that actually believed any of Obama's rhetoric!! He is just another politician that speaks well but yields very few results!!

      • ALIVE!

        I'm looking and looking, but I can't seem to find the '!!' key on my keyboard. How do you do that?

  • nounverb911

    "He’s probably going to announce that the Koch Brothers will be managing his re-election campaign, and that the working poor will pay a 35% tax on all grocery and gasoline purchases for the next year "
    He’s probably going to announce that the Koch Brothers will be managing his re-election campaign, and that the working poor will pay a 35% tax on all grocery and gasoline purchases for the next year


    • Terry

      I'd rather see them pay a bit more than 35%, honestly. Then, let's repair the highway system, straighten out our social programs, fix the water systems, take care of some issues that are just going to get worse over time.

    • anti0aquabudda

      most of the "wealthy" in this country already pay 35%. Increasing that to 50% will still not even come close to balancing the budget. The problem will NOT be "fixed".

      • sati_demise

        No. Your figures are off a bit. the 400 wealthiest pay an effective rate of 16%

        Thats what Warren Buffet was talking about when he said he pays a lower rate than his secretary.


        Think about that.

        • anti0aquabudda

          If that is true, then the tax code is obviously screwed up with too many loop holes and deduction. If you look at the tax code, those making over 250k SHOULD pay 35%. We need a simpler tax code. The one part that I like about Paul Ryan's plan is that he simplifies the code and elimates a LOT of deductions.

          Please provide a link regarding Warren Buffets taxes if you can. I am very interested to learn more given the fact that I just filed my taxes and paid around 31%.

          • sati_demise


            Buffet paid a bit over 17% AND HE WAS NOT EVEN TRYING to look for loop holes.

          • anti0aquabudda

            His secretary making 60k per year (per Buffett) would pay at a marginal rate of 18.8% (because of tax rates at different income levels) and would pay around $11,000 in federal taxes. With 2 kids and a mortage giving her other deductions, she would probably pay about $4,000 in federal taxes.

            Buffet made $46 Million that year and paid 17.7 percent (which I still don't understand unless he was able to cook his books). Nevertheless, at 17.7 percent, Buffet paid roughly $8,142,000 in taxes. Obviously, Buffet paid a TON more because he made a TON more, but still, the tax code MUST be simplified so that he pays 35%. I paid over 30% in 2010 and I did not make anything near Buffett!!

          • sati_demise

            Obama is going to simplify the code, too, eliminating what he calls 'tax expenditures'. these are the loop holes that Ryan addresses. We should end subsidies for all old industries, like the oil, coal and HFCS to fund new ones like alternative energy of all types, fruits and vegetables and industrial hemp for ethanol.

          • anti0aquabudda

            It is amazing how many subsidies our government doles out. Our government gives away TOO much of OUR money. We are have a 1.6 Trillion dollar budget deficit in 2011. We have to stop the madness!!

            People say we should tax the rich more, but raising the highest rate from 35 to 39% will bring in an additional $100 to $150 billion per year. That takes the deficit down to 1.45 Trillion, NOW WHAT?

            I have been studying up about proposed flat taxes, where no loopholes exist and there are no deduction. I am becoming a fan because people like Buffet should pay 35% like the tax code requires.

  • fartknocker

    As my fine mother who loves and praises Jesus told me:

    Let's hope son that Our President shits in John Boehner's mess kit. That fucker** needs some humility.

    **My sweet South Texas mom didn't say fucker. She called Boehner "an asshole like my sister Liz." I agree with Mom in that John Bohner took asshole lessons from my Aunt Liz.**

    Hey downfister – ready to party at my house? My 77 year old Mom can kick your ass. Downfist away douche bag.

    • Limeylizzie

      I don't have a mom, can I share yours, I feel we would love each other and could have a lot in common?

    • Terry

      My father and your mother would get along famously. Dad's comments were in language too colorful to use here and that he must have picked up in the Army in WW2, but along similar lines.

    • BlueStateLibel

      We need to give your mother an honorary triple-digit pee score!

    • GOPCrusher

      Reading an article this AM, it stated that Barry was going to propose a tax hike as part of his deficit reduction plan, in which Speaker Drunky McNicotinestain promptly went with the "It's a nonstarter. The problem isn't Americans aren't taxed enough, it's that we spend too much."
      I wonder how Republiklans expect to continue to pay for new ways to kill brown people if we no longer have any revenue coming in?

  • DownFist Troll

    After all, according to your autobiography, your first job was on Wall Street.

    Well, to be fair, it was in fact a CIA front company, on wall street. (i'm not making that up, business international corporation has spooky links to spooks)

    Also: Downfisty it's past your bedtime.

    • PocketsTheClown

      I gave you an upfisty, plus, uh, duh, how else to you get proto-germanickly-accepted leader of the West (no, Texas, not you). Needs a "k" right? Anyway, yes, State dept issue.

    • The DownFistTroll complaining about a downfist troll. Infinite loop. Room spinning. Sparks. Amygdala getting bigger. Must stop typ….

    • UpfistTroll

      Don't worry, I'm on it.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Le sigh.

    I'd rather watch the GOP/Teabaggers eat each other alive.

  • Radio_Level_7

    No Ken, don't you get it? This is level-7 chess. He's going to appease the "independents" until 2012 and get re-elected. Then, he's going to rescind the Bush/Obama tax cuts, explain to us that the whole post 9/11 overreaction wasn't necessary — there are no al Qaeda bogie man hordes waiting to attack us — thus allowing cutting back on the military and Fätherland Security by $600-700 billion a year. Remember the "peace dividend"? And just to show some cajones, he'll re-institute Glass-Stiegal and reign in a little bit of Wall Street.
    So don't QUIT.
    Obama/Bolton '12…Hope and Change, And This Time We Mean It.

    • Level 7 wizard/Millennium Falcon chess, you mean?!

      "Bush/Obama tax cuts" … weird how normal that already sounds.

      • PocketsTheClown

        This is a awful long way from the porn chat room post-we-know-he-winning. Not to be trite, but I haz a sad.

    • peaceocrap

      Just the way Clinton's inner liberal was allowed to run free in his second term, when he undid NAFTA, held the S&L crooks responsible for burgling the country and reinstated the social safety net!

    • BlueStateLibel

      Obama is becoming like General McClellan, losing all those big battles, afraid to engage the enemy, and destroying troop morale…it's all a secret plan to win (or get kicked to the curb).

      • One_Man_Band

        Nice analogy! Grant/Sherman 2012!

  • fuflans

    do we think that teabagger cool-aid lady is still alive?

    just curious.

    • noodlesalad

      She got death paneled, thanks to sugary drink diabeetus.

      • Nothingisamiss

        He didn't even deliver on the death panels!

        Still will vote O, though.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Another fatality in the Cola Wars. When will this insanity end?

    • smokefilledroommate

      What about that stupid dog that wouldn't "take a treat from Obama"? Anybody remember that shit?

      • fuflans

        oh yeah. and, it's just gotten worse.

        • Ducksworthy

          The horrible thing is that its worked. Obama is now a weak president having been victim of a thousand slights all of which were to insane to defend against but each of which, none the less, has taken its tool. Psychology has come a long way since Dr. Goebbels day, oh wait, no it hasn't.

    • comrad_darkness

      She's not dead, she's passed out from high blood sugar because she pawned her test strips to buy royal wedding commemorative plates.

  • unclejeems

    Glass Stiegal, hell, I says, hell–it's time to deep-six Taft-Hartley and let the teatards see what right to work doth actually look like.

    • fartknocker

      Glass Stiegal? Is that like an enhanced Steven Segal from Maricopa County cops? He kicks ass on chicken coops but he lacks the mental acumen to be a detective. Plus he beats on Asian women – but he is on TLC, along with a guy who makes cakes and Kate Gosselin, who decorates Trumps hair.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Nice try, however, so long as there's still a black guy with a white-collar job somewhere in America, the Teabaggers will have someone other than the true culprits to blame for their economic plight.

      • Exactly. The real reason tea baggers hate unions:

        "In 2007, Blacks continued to have a higher unionization rate (14.3 percent) than Whites (11.8 percent), Asians (10.9 percent), and Hispanics (9.8 percent)."

    • CookiE_MonstA

      If they haven't notice by now, I don't think they are going to. Most of them live in Right to Work states anyway.

  • iburl

    2012: Disillusionment We Can Wallow In

  • Callyson

    It's 1995 all over again…

    • I dozed off in 1995. What happened next? Nothing bad I hope. Because if some pretend cowboy with both Messiah and Oedipal complexes managed to take control of U.S. foreign and domestic policy, I don't want to hear about it.

    • horsedreamer_1

      If the Era of Big Government was over, then — well, what's ending, now?

      Welcome to the United States of America West Democratic Republic of the Congo? (Everybody always posits a potentially anarchic, theologically rooted US America as a New Somalia, but for all the talk of American religious fervour, there's no there, there. So, look to the DRC. It's our Zaireeka moment.)

    • Gnatsum

      My thoughts exactly. If it worked then when the repugs had a halfway decent candidate, it might just work again when they don't seem to have anyone. AND, as I told many people during the last campaign (noone would listen, of course) Obama isn't as liberal as people think.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Not just people in America, but the fucking House and Senate trip over themselves to defund ACORN because of a hacked-up video and then do the same thing to NPR after James O'Keefe has laready shown himself to be a fraud — and yet nothing happens to the damn Chamber of Commerce after ThinkProgress outs the Chamber of Commerce for trying to illegally sabotage its opponents. We bitch about him for selling out his principles, but its not like we as a bloc have his back either. He'll grow some balls when we demand he fucking outlaws the Chamber of Commerce. Deal?

    • PocketsTheClown

      Oh, and USDA, because they afraid of discovery. And, uh, that whole Foreign Policy thing.

    • fishskicanoe

      Why should he listen to us when all we do is hunch over our keyboards and smartphones making smart ass posts in reply to other smart ass posts.

      Next time there is a strike in your community, go out and walk the line with the workers and organize community demonstrations in support of them.

      Next time a Bagger bus pulls into town meet them with torches, pitchforks, hot tar and feathers and send them on their way.

      Next time you discover a local business is a big contributor to the GOP assclowns, boycott it and quietly encourage all your prog friends to do the same. Don't bring attention to the boycott thereby engendering sympathy business by the Cons, just don't go there anymore.

      In short, make the Kochsuckers pay. And then pay again.

      • shrunknseahorse

        "Next time you discover a local business is a big contributor to the GOP assclowns, boycott it and quietly encourage all your prog friends to do the same. Don't bring attention to the boycott thereby engendering sympathy business by the Cons, just don't go there anymore."

        Exactly. For every entrance into Target, a con thinks a gay person is either murdered or sent to Hell/Straight Camp.

    • Gnatsum

      I thought I heard on the way to work this morning that the R plan leaves NPR intact. Was I hallucinating? That' s possible, and even to be expected.

      • Of course they don't care about defunding NPR. They'll just make it theirs. It becoming more and more National Pentagon Radio and butt-lickers of the Tea Baggers. The real prize is slashing things like heating assistance and community policing, not defunding inane upper middle class media outlets.

        • DemmeFatale

          Yep. It's hard to listen to the hosts on NPR trying to be "fair," and listen to "both sides" when one side happens to be batshit insane. (Especially on the science progams.)

          • CookiE_MonstA

            Same here. My local station is having a fund drive. Just like last year, I sent them an email explaining why I will not be supporting them again this year. "When you stop pandering to your opponents by allowing your Fox Funded personalities to pollute your air time with their opinions in the name of being fair and balanced, only then will my support return." Perhaps when they finally loose their Federal funding, they will stop trying to appease the GOP.

      • GOPCrusher

        They are more concerned with doing away with Planned Parenthood since only prostitutes go there to get abortions.

    • chitecki

      We bitch about him for selling out his principles, but its not like we as a bloc have his back either.

      This is what I have been saying all along to my liberal friends. Where were we when the teabaggers started making noise? Snarking online and doing absolutely nothing of substance — now they've got a large bloc in the House and cut the Dem majority in the senate to practically nothing.

      Obama is a politician, and will only do what is politically safe to do. If we had a progressive majority in the house (no more blue dogs) and a 60-vote progressive majority in the Senate, does anyone really think Obama would keep Guantanamo open, keep troops in Afganistan or cut taxes for the rich? I'd be on a bullet train back to Chicago right now instead of a 7-hour drive.

      To all the people saying they will vote 3rd party or Kucinich for president: Do the country a favor and spend your vote on a progressive candidate for congress, governor, state legislature or city council. Then we can actually get Barry to do what we want.

  • bumfug

    The hardest thing will be to convince my teabagger friends that they were just a suckerbait smokescreen whose job was to cover the fact that Obama is doing exactly what the people who own this country want done.

    • ttommyunger

      "…what the people who own this country want done." And I know you are not referring to the "people", here, Bum.

      • bumfug

        I was using "people" in the Supreme Court sense of the word, i.e. "soulless corporations."

        • ttommyunger

          Sadly, I thought as much.

    • comrad_darkness

      Too complex for their limited brain function. Try something simpler.

    • DemmeFatale

      You have teabagger friends?

      • tessiee

        Teabaggers have friends?

  • One_Man_Band

    Cue the apologists. Because a Republican getting elected and doing all these same things is worse for some reason?

    • Badonkadonkette

      Right on cue, I was gonna say, really? We were better off under Bush? We'd be better off under any one of the fucktarded pandering fuckwits currently "thinking" about running on the GOP ticket?

      Basically from January 21 2009 onward, Nobamar's been called an utter failure by everyone on the left for not magically unfucking the 8 years of dedicated, astounding, not-to-be-fully-appreciated-for-over-100-years fuckupery of George W. Bush (and the same by everyone on the right, for being black). He managed to pass health coverage reform even though Congress is like 87% pussies, repealed DADT, got us (mostly) out of Iraq (and up and leaving Iraq after pounding it back to the stone age for 6 years is an utterly D-bag move so it's not like he could just drop it, much as we all wish he could), and prevented a total implosion of our economy. He also turned a profit on the bailout, when W. just wanted to hand a trillion dollars to banks and forget about it.

      I get frustrated with Barry, but considering what he's done with the hand he was dealt, the man's a roaring success.

      • undeterredbyreality

        Thank you, Badonkadonkette, for returning my perspective to me. He has turned this whole shit-pile around, but as he said way back when, it's not easy to turn a shit-pile this big around, so he hasn't made the full 180 yet. N x NW.

        Four More Years!!!

        (Whew! I don't have to vote for Kucinich!)

        • Badonkadonkette

          Glad I could convince someone. It helps that I occasionally have to read some official document from the Bush era – I swear the only multisyllabic words the man ever used were "freedom," "terror," "Saddam," and "Qaeda" (nukular's not a word so it doesn't count). I'm serious about the 100 years thing, by the way – when we're all on our deathbeds, historians will still be marvelling at how Bush could have been such a complete and utter failure at literally every single thing he did.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            You forget, for Bush at least, terror and Saddam are only one syllable.

      • Limeylizzie

        Thank you for that, I am just hoping he announces a rollback on Bush Tax cuts for the wealthy, mainly becasue I think it's the right thing to do but also because I want to watch the Republicans go insane.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          "want to watch the Republicans go EVEN MORE insane THAN THEY ARE NOW."

          Sorry, but I had to modify that just a tad.

          • One_Man_Band

            Yeah, right now we get to watch them go insane, while he does stuff they would have done anyway. He's got the policies of Bush lite, but gets labeled as a commie/socialist/muslin.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Than man who could have undone the damage of eight years of Gush? Ralph Nader. Look to the consumer advocate.

        (I know it's old news, old hat, to complain about the "protest" votes in the 2000 election, such that G-Dub maintained a narrow enough advantage for America's Scrote* to install him, but it's true.)

        *Scalia & Thomas are clearly America's Grundle.

      • BerkeleyBear

        And let's not forget getting major investments in infrastructure, basic science and special ed as part of it, plus throwing hundreds of millions more at state education and social services so police and fire departments nationwide didn't fucking evaporate in 2009-10. None of those investments were as large as Krugman and the left would like, but they were a hell of a lot more than a Koch Bros. subsidiary government would have coughed up.

        The man has done some major good for this country, and his reward is to get his teeth kicked in by both extremes. Guess he should have been more like Bubba and fucked over his core promises on day one (DADT), then failed epically on one major policy push (healthcare), try not to do anything important for the next 6 years, and only make a flailing effort in the Middle East at the last minute. Plus deregulating the shit out of everything Reagan hadn't fucked already because Alan Greenspan told him it would all be okay. And having no coherent foreign policy so no one could claim he was going against it, no matter what he did.

      • Meh, at least Bush's disgusting over the top evil energized the left. Barry has done nothing but demoralize and demonize us.

        We'll not soon do again what we did in 2008 – Obama sunk that mighty ship of hope and change and energy that galvanized Americans against right wing policies. Now as long as he keeps things "as is", the next Pawlenty/Romoney/Gingrich can sweep in and carry on knowing the Dems will never again be able to convince it's base it can stop the right.

        Worst Best Chance Ever.

        • I can buy "demoralize", but "demonize" is bullshit. He got mildly annoyed at liberals for a minute at a press conference in December, and you all went looking for a rope and a tree.

          • Okay, maybe "demonize" is a little harsh. He asked to be push, we pushed. His was response was to send his fat weasel out to say we need to be drug tested. He seems to be annoyed that we want him to do (or at least try to do) what he said he would do.

            But "a rope and a tree" is also hyperbolic. As I don't think there is anyone around who wouldn't gladly support the man – hell, revive the enthusiasm of 2008 – if he wasn't launching his campaign by courting Republicans.

            There is a big difference between hatred and disappointment. It's a little too convenient to not even try to get the job done and then blame the people who put you in the job in the first place for not having your back.

  • chascates

    Come 2012 Obama will still look better than:
    Michele Bachmann
    Donald Trump
    Mike Huckabee
    John Bolton
    Roy Moore
    Sarah Palin
    Newt Gingrich
    That ex-governor of Louisiana
    That ex-governor of New Mexico
    The ex-governor of Minnesota
    Rick Santorum
    Anyone named "Xxxx" the "Xxxxxxxer"
    Gen. Petraeus
    Michael Bloomberg
    Anyone named 'Bush'
    That fat ass from New Jersey
    All religious nuts

  • poncho_pilot

    this post almost makes me want to vote for Kucinich.

    • emmelemm

      I agree, and that makes me sad.

      • nounverb911

        At least we get a hot first lady.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Dennis Kucinich launched a coup?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Michelle is going to kick all our asses.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          True, but we already have a hot First Lady.

    • Negropolis

      Not me, he kind of jumped the shark when he pulled that bullshit move of suing the capitol cafeteria. I don't care what anyone says, that was a dick move.

      • OneDollarJuana

        When you hear the details it's not so outrageous.

        • comrad_darkness

          Doesn't matter, it's a free gift to anyone running against him and therefore idiotic if he actually want to run for prez again. Well intentioned, but pure short-sighted and tone deaf. We got enough dems running under that platform already.

          • tessiee

            "it's a free gift to anyone running against him"

            True, but if they don't have a "free gift", they just make up shit out of nowhere (e.g., the swiftboaters, the "dean scream", etc.), so it hardly matters.

    • Future President Bachmann thanks you for your support.

    • karen

      I'd rather vote for Bernie Sanders.

      • Bernie Sanders is too smart to think that he would have a chance in hell running for President. He's pretty much in the most effective role of his political career right now, unless someone wants to put him in a Cabinet position.

        • karen

          Why do you have to ruin my morning with your reality-based thinking? Ughhh I didn't want to have to take alcohol with my advil this early but now you're making me do it.

    • poncho_pilot

      honestly, if it wasn't for the previous Wonkette post about Kucinich, which this was a reference to, i wouldn't even remember who he was.

  • Must be a slow night in the Inland Empire.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      It's all that Commie radiation blowing in off the Pacific. Bad air. It does things to you. Bad air.

  • harry_palmer

    He's going to dismantle the federal government except for the parts that actually cost serious money and don't help people (well, they do help people get dead). He just impersonated someone with a soul to get elected. The bankers knew what they were getting when they backed him huge over Walnuts.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Goddammit, Ken, I've been fighting with my ex about this a long time. Waiting for that seven level chess thing to kick in or whatever, convinced that this brilliant man was just so many steps ahead of everybody else that we just couldn't see it. She, on the other hand, gave up long ago. PLEASE don't make me have to tell her she was right all along. Again. PLEASE!!!

    (That "slow-witted liberal" label really is gonna hurt when I have to go vote for Kucinich.)

  • chascates

    Thank heavens for

    • PocketsTheClown

      Goddamned downfisters. I meant to give you an up. Sry. I heart u.

      • WilliamHTaft

        I checked my IntenseDebate profile and I'm being followed by a downfister from Breitbart's site. I bet he was molested as a child.

        It's totally cool for you to downfist this comment, man.

        • PocketsTheClown

          Meh, it's awesome they just don't even read. We Comment… You Decide (to downfist without comprehenalizing refudiated squirmish, etc etc too EASY)

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          No, but he did molest collies.

        • bflrtsplk

          Hey, man, I have two downfisties trolling me. One of them is bragging that his p-score has gone up 10 points to -98, after saying previously that it's not important.

          As for Obama, he's probably done the best he could with the shitty hand he was dealt, though that doesn't explain the health care fiasco.

  • WilliamHTaft

    Sucks to be us fuckin pinkos because we can't even spite Barry and make him lose. No matter what a disappointment he is, no spin doctor could possibly hide how bad the Republicans suck right now. They've been working overtime to piss off women, the elderly, and practically anyone who feels the slightest bit secure in their job. By 2012 the Republicans will have energized way more D voters than Obama and his world-famous GE blowjobs ever could.

    • PocketsTheClown

      I sure hope so, but I think those piss-ants are lost (those that unexpectedly voted for Barry). They are independent enough to vote independently, and will choose the marginal, not realizing there is no chance they can actually win something in this system.

      We are looking for the +4 makes 8, then hand off to the teatards, so we can bomb canada (cheaper to steal their oil, amirite????? LOL ITS ME JESUS :-)

    • Mumbletypeg

      No matter what a disappointment he is, no spin doctor could possibly hide how bad the Republicans suck right now.

      Race to the Bottom; it's only a question of which trainwreck of lies and disappointments is leading the way.

    • ttommyunger

      Never underestimate the idiocy of the American Electorate, William.

  • Remember how Barry was going to end the wars,

    Sigh. No, he didn't campaign on ending the wars:

    put renewable energy and mass transit all across the country

    How many idiot GOP governors have told Barry to take the billions of mass transit dollars he's offered their states and stuff it up his ass? Just off the top of my head I can think of Walker, Christie, Rick Scott, and Kasich.

    I know I know, I'm a giant apologist. But still I think we should actually hear the speech before we start shitting on it.


    EDIT: Whew! Downfister works fast! Fist me again, baby! Harder!

    • emmelemm

      There you go, being all reasonable and liberal and shit, saying we should actually LISTEN to the speech before we get upset about it. Geez, you sound like my MOM.

      /good point, though

      • Ducksworthy

        That's the trouble with all you Gawd Dammed Liebruls. You're too quick to be reasonable. Praise Jeebus Paul Ryan is here to help you grow some amygdala.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      One of the great problems is that the conversation is being played on the Republicans field. That's how idiots like Scott and Walker get elected. If you are not willing to defend your alternative, it is hard to argue against something like a tax cut. Let's hope someone can spread the word that this can be changed with one simple phrase:

      "If you are so in favor of reducing the deficit, then you must be in favor of raising taxes on the rich back to the level they were at when Bill Clinton was President."

      • comrad_darkness

        How about Reagan. Half his tenure it was 50% on the top bracket.

        Reagan! Reagan! Reagan!

    • Forgive the downfister, he/she knows not what they do. Oh wait a minute! They do know what they do. That makes them … (ominous musical flourish) … Unforgiven.

      But they do add pageviews. Each pageview is probably worth over a million dollars in advertising.

    • comrad_darkness

      I don't listen to speeches. I watch actions.

      Speeches are about lizard brains. Results are about factual reality.

  • hagajim

    HEY! WTF is wrong with Sammy Hagar…number 1, we have the same surname, number 2…he was a radical ( can't drive 55) protestor. He had way more balls than Barry. Maybe I should vote Bachmann in the hopes I can get an internship with her so she can BLOW ME ala a reverse Clinton.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Yeah, but he totally ruined Van Halen! Turned into Van Hagar after he joined up.

  • YeOldeFapSmith

    Today, we are all disillusioned malcontents … but no, really, I am a disillusioned malcontent. I'll paraphrase what a Wonketteer previously stated on another thread: "As a liberal in America I'm used to having my heart broken." I am well aware of the counter-arguments, and regardless of whichever cretinous mongoloid the Republicans run, I will vote for the liberal crank candidate over Obama in 2012. A corporate whore with pasties is still a corporate whore.

    • finallyhappy

      Perhaps but as I told the people who tried to get me to vote for Nader,Kucinich(not that I would ever vote for Nader)- and who knows who else-I am not going to be responsible for helping the GOP win. Just seems kind of immature to me.

      • YeOldeFapSmith

        I see your point, and Gob knows I may very well recant my firebrand idealism depending on whom the Repubtards nominate, but as it now stands, I'm sick of it and I'll stand on my principles. Btw, this thread got hoppin' and a boppin' during prime tipsy gettin' hours, and I'm still flagrantly carrying on in Georgia. *proudly waves cocktail and cock in the air*

        • YeOldeFapSmith

          Fuck you downfisty, you're up early. Get a life, go get high/drunk, but most of all: Get fucked!

          • BaldarTFlagass

            You'd think he'd get bored after a while. Oh well, it doesn't take much to make some people happy.

  • pinkocommi

    Is the problem that Obama is not a communist? Or is the problem that, deep-down Obama is a communist, but just not communist enough?

    • zhubajie

      He's nowhere near Commie. Nixon was closer.

    • ttommyunger

      Jeebus was a communist (small c); Barry is a corporatist, I'm afraid. ps, don't mention that stuff about Jeebus to a TeaTard, his fucking head will explode.

    • tessiee

      An underlying tendency toward commanism which, in turn, is too firmly repressed.

  • smokefilledroommate

    The booze is good tonight. Numb-numbs.

    • YeOldeFapSmith

      I think it's a safe bet most of us on this graveyard shift thread are well into our cups. I know I am! *does a jig*

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Have to work in the morning, so I'm just having some chronic.

  • pinkocommi

    To avoid any future Obama-style debacles, may I suggest that the Democratic Party replace the state-primary-and-convention process for a panel of doctors who review candidates' CAT scans for the largest anterior cingulate cortex and smallest amygdala? It would work for the general Presidential election. Also.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'd like to think that Obama's done as much as he can with a government owned by corporations (and reported on by their trusty stenographers in the press), but I'm pretty pissed at him for letting the conversation change from unemployment to the deficit.

    Maybe he doesn't think he can do any more about unemployment in the current political environment, but it sure does look like he's giving up without a fight.

    • Full control of the House, the Senate and the White House … that's what Obama had on the day of his inauguration. That's what he had for the next two years.

      He did not win a contested election. He was not installed by the Supreme Court. He won a solid majority and was part two of a Democrat Wave that began in 2006 with the winning of the House and Senate.

      Bush Jr. and his people simply did whatever the office of president would allow, and a lot that it *didn't* allow. Obama and his middling lamers could have saved this country and instead they did close to nothing, and now he's pandering to the fucking fiscal conservatives?

      Sorry, Obamapologists. Game over.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I cut Obama some slack, because what can he do? The problem is not him, although it would be nice to see him be passionate about some liberal principle.

    The problem is with Congress. The Democrats had historic margins, and they pissed it away. Why did health care take a year? Why was the stimulus package so badly done? Congress did it. Back in 2008 we should have dumped money into infrastructure and started building, but, hell, we gave away 1/3 of the damn stimulus in tax cuts. This was all Congress.

    There are two problems. First, the Democrats need to come up with a new raison d'être. Why are the Republicans always on message? A) They can only hold one idea in their head at one time, but, also, ii) they have Heritage and the rest feeding them their ideas. You think Sarah Palin has ever had an orginal thought? She just repeats what was on NRO last night. Until the Democrats can unify around some ideas, explain them, and defend them, they are always going to be cornered into being Republican lite.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Second, you get the Congress you pay for. Until people come together to pass a Constitutional Amendment allowing people to shove rolled up $20s into Scalia's ass, you are going to get people who's best skill is sucking up to money, and then doing what money wants. As long as we keep the system we have, don't be surprised when companies and the rich prosper as everyone else loses out.

      It would probably help if we had some great legislators, people who can get other politicians to see beyond their parochial ideology. It would also help if the American people would realize that 1) they benefit from government (although give the Republicans their way, and that will be pretty clear in a few years), and B) that the compromises that came out of the Progressive era existed for a reason. They controlled runaway Capitalism, provided a safety net for the poor and downtrodden, and allowed for a strong and prosperous culture and society. Strange how when you start going back toward the policies that reigned before Roosevelt and Roosevelt, you end up with a country that spirals out of control.

      Vote Hutz!

      • smokefilledroommate

        My sentiments exactly. Well stated–agree on every single point, especially having actual effective legislators. A little plus-one love counts as a vote, right?

      • Ducksworthy

        Well articulated. I would add one point and that is that the Progressive changes we saw were a compromise to preserve the capitalist system. They were compromises with the communist/ socialist/labor movement, the tea baggers of their time.

    • Negropolis

      I don't know, man. It was always the Senate that was the problem, and it was less the fault of the Dems than it was practically having to have 60 votes to actually legislatte. If I can fault the Senate on anything it was pretending that they could keep their entire caucus together or maybe breaking off a Republican or two, and then not changing the rules in the beginning where an actual majority was a majority instead of a super-majority being a majority. They should have known better.

      Nancy did her job as far as I'm concerned. The House passed a lot of shit that couldn't get through the Senate, even with a clear majority.

      • horsedreamer_1

        True. I think Pelosi getting lumped with Reid, her vote for Kaplan, Inc., aside, is a mistake. Her caucus did quite a bit when the Dems had House, Senate, & White House. & last I checked, the Senate doesn't have anyone like a Raul Grijalva or Rush Holt. (Sherrod Brown is close, sure… But looks a bit too Gordon Brown. (Same hair.))

        • Pretty much exactly what I wanted to say (well, without the Gordon Brown sentiments!)

          Bernie Sanders and Sherrod Brown are pretty much the only real progressives in the Senate that I can think of. Hopefully I'm wrong.

          But watching the 111th Congress all of that trying-to-find-agreement b.s. with the Senate Republicans when no more than four of said Republicans had any intention of having good intentions was one of the most frustrating experiences I've ever had while watching politics. After years of Republicans with a simple majority ramming through their insanity under Bush, I was ready for Democrats to RAM THROUGH a progressive agenda as quickly as possible, knowing fully well that 2010 would probably end up like 1994. But, no, we didn't get that. We got a lot of wasted time in the Senate.

    • reliefsinn

      I would love to join you and cut O some slack, but does he have to look like a whipped dog every time he loses a fight? Ted Kennedy stood his ground and took it on the chin for liberalism for decades. The guy had his faults, but at least never seemed to change his core ideals.
      I understand O is in a different situation, politically, in that he has to be re-elected by a majority of the people in this country, not just in Mass, but let's see some FDR type attitude here, Barry!

    • GOPCrusher

      My biggest problem was that he doesn't seem willing to get out front on some issues. Even with health care reform, he stood in the background and let Congress lead the way and let the Republiklans/Tea Baggers frame the debate.
      Seems like this has been an ongoing Democratic problem since the 2000 election. No spine. Kerry could have won the 2004 election if he would have just fought back when those Swiftboat ads started coming out.
      Anyone that actually believes that America is a Center-Right country has got shit for brains. The problem is getting the majority of people off their asses and into the polling places. And it's going to be tough to do if someone on the Democratic side doesn't start doing something to energize the masses.
      Make them start giving a shit about what is happening in this country.

      • lulzmonger

        Getting people to the polling booths is easy if you use the right incentives. In some countries they make you pay a fine if you don't vote – imagine how loud the GOP would baaaaaaaaw about "Marxist-Fascist-Socialism" the moment THAT bill hit the Senate.

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    They're going to call him a communist no matter what he does so he may as fuck embrace it and declare himself one. Really, how much more could they demonize him? Why try to embrace or compromise with the R's… they will never, ever respect him.

    • Ducksworthy

      I think that would be a good strategic move right now. Somebody on the left needs to say Fuck this. I'm not gonna take it any more and here's what we can do about it. This is what Paul Ryan wants for you, this is what I want. It is the exact opposite of the GOP vision and 60% of the public would be behind that. But it may be too late for our Barry to come out against the corrupt system he's part of now.

  • MiniMencken

    WOW! Are my Republican neighbors going to be pleased with the new Ken Layne Wonkette! Me? I'm going to dig myself a deep hole in some of that there Texas gumbo clay and just LAY DOWN AND DIE!

    • You poor thang. A libural in Texas.

      (Remind 'em Lyndon Johnson created Medicare — because people are blessed with longer lives and cursed with health insurance companies that won't issue policies to teh olds.)

    • Well, nobody ever said Republican voters were smart, but if they agree that Obama isn't liberal enough, then they're probably close to a fatal Oxycontin overdose.

  • Mumbletypeg

    Oops. Made a mistake, and kissed a snake.

  • Extemporanus

    Layne's inability to quit snarking proves he's morally indignant.

    • Negropolis

      Snark? Where?

    • V572..whatever


    • Mumbletypeg

      And you've made it to #2000 comments.
      Which — sorry I'm on a democracyNow kick — Amy Goodman would pronounce "two thowwwwwwwwwwwsand" as I hear it spoken in my head

  • needz moar hate.

    srsly folks, we can be pissed at barry, but a vote for kucinich is a vote for whatever douche the repugs nominate, also too.

  • worst. insomnia.ever.

  • Negropolis

    Excuse my French, but back the fuck up, Ken. Barry ain't my friend, that's for damn sure. But he sure as hell ain't something as loathesome as my enemy. Na-ah, not even close. You done gone and lost your damn mind, now.

    That dog won't hunt, and this does not compute (insert additional Southern-fried folkisms).

    • Limeylizzie

      Thanks Negropolis, I wanted to slap Ken "Kos" Layne when I read that headline.

    • DemmeFatale

      I think Ken is trying kick some ass in time for a resurgence. He is "going there" and "poking a skunk."

  • Oh please. with the assortment of lunatics the GOP is putting forth, the re-election is all but certain. Sure, the prez has yet to do many things he said that he would, but you'll never guess what: Just about every single president since Washington is guilty of this one.

    I'm votong for Jon Lovitz, because if we are going to be a crumbling laughing stock of a dying empire, we at least need someone who can make us laugh on our way to live under the overpass, as the wealthy throw leftovers to us thinking they are doing god's work.

    • finallyhappy

      Joon Lovitz makes you laugh?? wow, drunk or stoned?

      • can't it be both?

        • tessiee


  • neiltheblaze

    Choosing between Obama and whatever retarded, corrupt sociopath the Republicans put up will not be difficult for me. I'm as disappointed in Barry as the next liberal, socialist, gay, baby-boomer. Then again – I'm used to having nobody running for office on my side and having to choose the lesser evil. Obama is the lesser evil because he's passive, not actively in-your-face evil and might end up doing some good things by accident.

    In short, the USA is going to Hell. With Obama we go to Hell more slowly. With any Republican – ANY Republican – we're going to Hell on a freight train.

    • Negropolis

      That's in the hopes that this crazy train to Hell doesn't derail in Limbo due to shoddy, private-sector funded track inspections.

      • neiltheblaze

        Actually, Limbo doesn't seem all that bad to me. There are no fiery pits, and you don't have to stand around all day playing a harp singing the praises of the Big Brother Sky Wizard for eternity either. Win / win.

        • Negropolis

          Limbo freaks me out because it strikes me as a place "centrists" would go to, and they're scary/annoying as hell. I guess what I'm saying is that my hell would be stuck surrounded by neutrals.

          Stick me with the devil or the goody-goodies, but don't put me with no centrists.

          • neiltheblaze

            So Limbo is where the David Broders go, huh? I'll have to rethink my position on this entirely made up metaphysical conundrum.

  • Goonemeritus

    Yes Barry is way more third way than I thought he’d be and yes I scream most days at my radio on the ride home (those douche bags on All Thing Considered are getting on my last nerve). But lest we forget he ran as a moderate and he did so because the right is kicking our ass in the message war. If we had been snarky enough maybe the country would be laughing at Teabagers rather than having Congress line up to give them hand jobs.

    • carlgt1

      that's kind of BS – the fawning celebrity endorsements & viral videos weren't from a "moderate" point. nobody expected a black guy would happily get smacked around by the reich-wingers for years. Hillary would have put up much better fights instead of this bogus "bipartisan" meme. Obama has helped shift our white-trash nation even further to the right, since his milquetoast "compromises" to the right are still touted as "ultra-leftist liberal"

  • Are you saying this president I found is not a cat!

    • Limeylizzie

      Laughing my considerable ass off

  • celeryflesh

    Obama ran as the less right wing alternative to Hillary Clinton. That is why he won. Yes, there was plenty reason to see trouble – just one example, his support for the alternative energy that isn't one (turning petroleum products with their pollution into mass produced plant life into energy, but you need all the petroleum production pollution to make it happen) – but what was the alternative? After three months of his presidency it was clear enough that there was going to be nothing but horror from this creature. Nixon went to China, and Obama was headed to the destruction of the remaining pieces of the new deal. But I didn't start feeling the despair until a good Democrat friend of mine, a very nice, intelligent person – well, he had been unrealistically praising of Bubba when he was prez – got terribly angry at me for stating calmly reasons I saw Obama as a champion for the other side.

  • V572..whatever

    See how you all feel about Barry when President Bachmann is inaugurated for her second term in 2017.

    • GOPCrusher

      Will we be allowed to vote after we are all interned into concentration camps for un-American activities?

      • V572..whatever

        Ha ha, Miche1e will tell everyone you’re going to a “concentration camp,” but it’ll really be like when your parents told you your dog went to go live on a farm.

  • celeryflesh

    Obama could not carry out his campaign of destruction of hope without the blind support of good people who love him because he couches his destructive plans with misdirection, things he'd do if the darn republicans didn't twist his arm. His opportunity was historic, but he used it to push the things the people need out of reach, and to accelerate the concentration of wealth and political power. He has been enabled by those who believe and approve of his liberal rhetoric, and are blind to his actual deeds. If just that blindness were cured, our situation would be much better. The blindness neutralizes the people power that got Obama into office in the first place, and which he has so betrayed.

  • crybabyboehner

    Speaking of Sammy Hagar, have you read his new memoir?

  • Kucinich? Fuck that, I'm voting for Mike Gravel this time!

    • GOPCrusher

      I'm voting for Rev. Bud Green. He's the only candidate that stands for the only thing left for me to believe in. The legalization of marijuana!

  • "Remember how Barry was going to end the wars, rebuild America’s infrastructure, put renewable energy and mass transit all across the country, crack down on industrial polluters, raise taxes on the super-rich, etc., etc. All lies! "

    Ken I'm not sure which Barry you were listening to, I never heard any of that.

  • Nothingisamiss

    I love Ken Layne. More bracing and true than the black espresso that keeps me alive.

    As I make my way, Cormac Mcarthy-like over the country to my home state of California (the only functioning warm state left) after the second civil war, I will remember these posts and try to find wonketeers along the way to share their hobo beans and help me west.

  • Pragmatist2

    We "quick-witted" liberals have figured out that Letterman is way funnier than Leno.

  • neiltheblaze

    Looks like the down-fisty pussy boy has had his Wheaties this morning.

    • YeOldeFapSmith

      Amen. My p-ness shrunk by three points since this anus-faced gutter goblin has been up to its ignorant ways. Luckily, nothing this fuck monkey can do will put a damper on my buzz.

    • Couple days in a row like that. He's gonna get carpal tunnel!

  • 738838

    I read somewhere he was a Don Ho man.

    • Well he's some kind of ho, man.

  • LocalGirlMakesGoo

    Well, I hope Mittens appreciates my vote.

  • GregComlish

    At least Obama still retains his unnatural ability to infuriate right-wing morons. That is something that brings me comfort during these troubled times.

  • Barbara_i

    Poor Kool-Aid! It was Flavor Aid they drank in Jonestown.

    • SonofSpermcube

      Also in Real America, all carbonated soft drinks are "Coke."

  • SonofSpermcube

    What do you always know about the lesser evil?

    It's still evil.

  • Where's my personal jet pack Hopey?

  • WinterOuthouse

    Perhaps a Limbaugh quote or two would have taken the depressing edge off this snark article. This wasn't snark? Oh, my bad.

  • vulpes82

    I… don't quite know what you're going for with this post, Ken. Seriously. It reads half as a send-up of the hippie pinko whining I see every day in TPM comments (really, why do I continue to read the comments anywhere other than Wonkette? Don't even get me started on Matt Yglesias's comments. Yikes!) and half as another of your "I do not care for this Kenyan" screeds. I guess it can be both? I don't know, I haz confused.

    Anyway, considering the shitstorm he's been dealt, I think he's done okay. I'm definitely as frustrated as the next commie, but I really do think he's trying his best. He doesn't have a magic wand to make Congress functional; that's where things have really gone to pot.

    • jus_wonderin

      Congress is pretty much acting like my after-meth niece.

    • comrad_darkness

      He has a huge pulpit to use to hammer messages home. He either doesn't recognize that (unlikely) or doesn't actually have any. Reminds me of Bush I, actually.

      • vulpes82

        Well, it's hard to get a message through with a shrieking opera of "MUSLING KENYAN USURPER!" and "Winning!" between you and the audience.

  • BklynIlluminati

    Not for nothing I'm not a militant lefty I consider myself a reasonable moderate that leans left but yeah I often feel the big guy is way to accommodating to these monkeys especially since they have gone hogwild insane. But fuck Barry more pimphand less making the teabaggers control the conversation and whatever happened to closing the corporate tax loopholes? You know the platform you ran on.

  • Trannysurprise

    All this upfisting takes a lot of lube.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    Obama lost me when DADT repeal and HCR didn't pass. I don't see what took you so long.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Left would have only been happy about DADT overturn if Obama were to have put on angel wings & done a tab of E, then ridden Gates's bung to glory.

      I am upset about HCR, though. I'm one of those "opponents" who thinks it didn't go far enough. (Yes, CNN, 57% of the U.S. populace polled opposes 'Obamacare', but break it down, & one-quarter of the opposition (overall: 15%) thinks it didn't go far enough. So, 57% oppose 'Obamacare' as structured, but 58% support HCR.)

      • 4tehlulz_lite

        I would suggest writing a slashfic, but chances are, someone's already written OxG fics.

      • GOPCrusher

        And I wonder how many of those people polled still believe that Obamacare calls for death panels and federally funded abortions?

    • GregComlish

      DADT was repealed by Congress. Obama had the opportunity to drop DADT when a court invalidated the measure, but Obama's DOJ pointlessly decided to fight for the constitutionality of the act. All so Obama could waste his remaining political capital fighting for something he could have gotten for free. Meanwhile the clock was running down on being able to pass a budget, an issue that was shamefully ignored. So now the Republicans have gotten all of their budget priorities pushed, including huge tax cuts for the rich and spending cuts for the poor and middle class, all during a unprecedented recession. So either a) Obama shot himself in the foot repeatedly by being a tactical dipshit or b) he never gave a shit about poor people in the first fucking place. That has been repeated several times over basically every issue.

      • 4tehlulz_lite

        So Congress gets the credit for passing DADT repeal, but it's Obama's fault that Congress did not pass a budget.

        Cool story, bro.

        • GregComlish

          It's not about divvying up credit and blame between Congress and Obama. It's about holding Obama accountable for his decisions. Obama's decision to fight for DADT in court made it harder to repeal DADT and made it harder to pass a budget.

  • James Michael Curley

    When he finally releases that Birth Certificate we will learn the his father is really Don Ho.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Sadly, the housing boom was not a tiny bubble.

  • Guy grew up in Hawaii, listening to nothing but Jimmy Buffett and Sammy Hagar.

    Don't forget Herb "Ohta-san" Ohta and his Ukulele Kings.

  • ttommyunger

    Anybody up for a reality check? We will never have a true champion of the people so long as the two major parties control the process. They are actually and in reality the "Corporate" Party and the "Corporate Lite" Party; nothing more, nothing less. Their chosen candidates will reflect their positions, or else they will not be their chosen candidates…Sorry for the lack of snark, it is early and this is serious.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      True enough. I guess I'm still enough of an idealist (i.e., "chump") to think that the "Lite" Party, as a party, differs a little more in that they still maintain tenuous contact with the real world — you know, the one that's filled with non-rich people with problems and debts and (sometimes) jerbs, and children, and illness, and lungs, and even interests other than just making maximal bank.

      Back when I was even more idealistic (i.e., "a hopelessly naive chump"), I used to argue that the justification for "Big Government" was that we already had BIG Corporations, and government was the only entity big enough to keep them from running everything into the ground.

      Well, those days are — as you point out — long gone. However, I continue to think (chump that I am) that there is a difference between the party that still recognizes (at least some of the time) that each of the 310M consumer units infesting the country is a self-aware human being, capable of suffering and exaltation; and the party that doesn't.

    • Negropolis

      I guess I'm still enough of an idealist (i.e., "chump") to think that the "Lite" Party, as a party, differs a little more in that they still maintain tenuous contact with the real world

      Bingo. While both parties are bought-and-paid for, one of them actually has a conscience that can be appealed to, at times. It's a tiny bit of hope we hold onto, but a bit of hope we must hold onto if we hope to survive as a society.

      • ttommyunger

        I agree, but feel our only real hope for change will come from outside the D or R Brand.

        • Negropolis

          Well, I'm not going to wait on a horse that most likely won't show up.

          • ttommyunger

            I'm doing what little I can, learning, voting, contributing my little bit; but this seems to be above my pay grade.

  • LiveToServeYa

    You mean Barry didn't convert the US to a worker's paradise in three years? Outrage!

  • ablington

    I feel like a jerk for still liking the guy.

    • Limeylizzie

      Don't. I still have the faith, even though I have to keep asking MrLimeyLizzie if it's going to be ok, he assures me it is level 11 chess, and that man has never ied to me.

    • "It Gets Better"

      • jus_wonderin

        "After It Gets Worse"

  • The truly progressive parts of Obama's campaign rhetoric never had a chance of being enacted or even taken seriously after the election–not because he was a duplicitous politician, although that was the case, but because the forces of finance capital simply weren't going to allow it.

    FDR got a lot done to save capitalism but only because there was a strike wave sweeping the country and the potential for mass action on the part of workers was becoming real. Without that pressure from the bottom, which will never happen again, finance capital and its lackeys win 100 times out of 100.

    • sati_demise

      FDR didnt have to contend with Fox 'News' and Citizens United.

      And he was 'in the club' of rich guys his whole life so he could tell them to fuck off

      • That second is an excellent point.

      • Negropolis

        Bingo. They'll listen to, or at least begrudgingly respect their own. Like a lot of tea partiers, as far as they are concerned, Obama isn't legitimate or somone even to be respected because he didn't come from their (rich guy) ranks.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Obama-Biden 2012: Obama runs, wins, & two months into his second term, he resigns, for "health reasons", allowing Joe to do his best LBJ. (The B-Dawg is such a loudmouth, you know he's got the stones ("confidence") to implement full HCR (public-option/national health care), etc.) Plus, Obama becoming a term-plus president, while not as awesome as Sarah Palin's half-term, finally might earn him some love from the couch-potato tea-tards he wants so much to like him.

  • smitallica

    Just a reminder back to 2000, when America was a Superpower. Remember how we thought "Well, I would've preferred Al Gore, wooden and soap-dishy as he is, but this Bush guy seems to at least have put smart people around him and things are going pretty good in the country right now what with the surprlus and all so all he has to do is not fuck it up too much."?
    How'd that work out?
    Imperfect as Obama has been, I would vote for a poodle with Asperger's before I'd vote for any one of these Republican fuckwits.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I said this upthread & got downfisted. Though, maybe lambasting Nader as part of my pro-Gore opinion was what did me in. Still, I like this.

      & think, too: if Gore wins, maybe he doesn't get divorced. Certainly, John Edwards doesn't end up meeting Rielle, in 2006. So, not only would the economy have been saved, but two marriages, also. (Traditional values!)

      Oh, & Liebermann getting shunted to the Naval Observatory would have been a nice bonus.

    • philpjfry

      Ah, what might have been

    • sati_demise

      we knew Bush would be bad, we just couldnt imagine HOW bad.

      We better put on our imagination hats

  • Ducksworthy

    The horrible thing is that the Rovian smear strategy worked. Obama is now a weak president, having been victim of a thousand slights all of which were too insane to defend against but each of which, none the less, has taken its toll. Psychology has come a long way since Dr. Goebbels day, oh wait, no it hasn't.

  • neiltheblaze

    "Going to Hell in a Hummer" has a nice ring to it.

    • Negropolis

      FTW. Also.

  • Why must you plague Jim Newell by using that picture of him again and again?

  • hollywooddood

    Ken, you're all wee wee'd up. Take a Valium.

  • edywin2

    (President Obama walks into Jay Carney's office after reading Ken Layne's blistering rebuke on Wonkette)
    Obama: "Time to resign. If we have lost Layne at Wonkette, we have lost effete liberal intellectual America. Prepare my resignation speech."
    (Deafening silence in the Press Secretary's office.)
    Obama: "Oh, I'm just messing with you Carney. Book me some tickets to a NASCAR race and break out the Presidential Motor Home. We are campaigning at TALADEGA!" YEAH CAPITALISM!

  • CZL

    Ken, buddy, grab a nice tequila! You'll give yourself a heart attack, and, well, this ain't Canada. You'd have to pay for the surgery.

    You, me and a lot of people bought the Fox myth that Obama was super-liberal. He talked tough on campaign, but so do all candidates. Clinton did, and he governed mostly center-right. Big money rules DC; anyone that gets elected will serve big money in the end. At least we got a few token gestures this go-round.

    I want a Labor party here as much as the next guy, but we've got to be realistic. When the choices are a centrist and a rightist, why not choose the option that hurts less?

  • bagofmice

    You know, my existential drama built up from growing up in "Real America", and dealing with "second amendment solutions" wiping out a bunch of my friends was bad enough. But this… What are you going to do?

  • philpjfry

    So… Obama the best we got? Man this country is fucked.

    • vulpes82

      Obama could be the second coming of Abraham Lincoln, and we'd still be fucked.

  • Plus, good lord, High Life causes some of the nastiest beer farts!

  • squirmisher

    Come up to Canadia, even our worst Conservatives (The robot that replaced Stephen Harper at birth) better defend things like universal healthcare if they want to have a hope of getting elected.

    • natoslug

      Okay, I'm following you now. Please make sure to send instructions on how to smuggle myself (and maybe my family, if they haven't pissed me off that week) up to Canadia and blend in when the time comes, eh?

  • An_Outhouse

    the old and the poor and the unemployed don't got no cake. You got to pay to play, bitches.

  • carlgt1

    well if you've lost Moby, then you should know something is wrong.

  • mavenmaven

    Sara Benincasa is going to kick you in the nuts for this.

  • Oldskool_

    We just learned that libruls grasp complexity when conservatards don't which is why Barry is in this shitty position. Kicking your enemies teeth down their throat is fun in the extreme, but it ain't productive. Don't ask how I know.

  • Gopherit

    Christ, Ken. The PUMAs have nothing on you today. I don't think that coast walk took the edge off for you.

  • sati_demise

    Anthony Weiner just tweeted he has a copy of the Obama speech and "likes what he read"

    So, ?

  • I hate hearing this "7-11 Level Chess" nonsense, it's silly and it makes you look like an idiot if you still support Obama. The guy does not have a master plan that is way beyond our intelligence, stop looking for one!

    Obama isn't a grand visionary. He waits for other people to form a consensus that generally leans his way, and then expends whatever personal capital is necessary to push it through. He'd rather accomplish something–anything–than stand for the Greatest Ideology With A Snowball's Chance. That's it. That's ALL. He has operated that way his whole life, throughout the campaign, and into these first three years. Sorry you missed it.

    So, in the spirit of reasonable fairness demonstrated in these Ken Layne Obama Special Comments, I say you guys are all racists for thinking Obama would be Hugo Chavez just because he's black.

    p.s. Perhaps the stupidest thing that Layne keeps repeating in these rants is that Obama's in it just for the golf and speaker's fees. Really, Ken? If that's all it's about, he could have made a ton more money skipping politics entirely with that Harvard Law degree, don't you think?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      1. You make an excellent point in your second paragraph. Obama is too smart to be a grand visionary. Presumably, his anterior cingulate cortex is big enough to realize that the problem of the actual world is too complicated to admit of a simple solution. As I see it, his weak spot as Preznit is that he's allowing the other side's "visionaries" (less smarts, more certainty) to define, and therefore dominate, the discussion. Accomplishing something is a reasonable goal, but it's also reasonable to ask in which direction the net trend of the accomplishments is going.

      2. Re: your third graf, see my response to your comment above in this thread.

      3. Obviously, Ken has some Issues, and he's not shy about sharing his feelings. But you appear to be criticizing his snark (scarce in this post) as if it were serious. Hmm, perhaps that is the definition of good snark.

      BTW, I quite like your comments, both the delightfully snarky ones and the ones where you reveal your feelings. I voted for O in 08, and of fucking course I will vote for him in 12 — elections are a choice, not a form of psychoanalysis. I am, however, afraid that — absent the kind of major change in style that no second-term POTUS has ever evinced — he will go down in history as a mediocre President. Undoubtedly, some of our (Chavez-worshippers') angst is due to our HOPE for more.


      • DarwinianDemon

        That's what I thought, but Ken says he hates snark and does not do it. So…

    • DarwinianDemon

      To me, it grates when liberals say something like "I thought he would bitch slap so and so or pimp slap the republicans" because really what they are saying is the same thing Bill O' Reilly said when he was shocked people didn't ask for m-er effin' iced tea. They're saying "I thought this black man was going to act like the black men act on TV"

    • Negropolis

      He waits for other people to form a consensus that generally leans his way, and then expends whatever personal capital is necessary to push it through.

      When you lay it out like that, it makes him look really pitiful. That's the exact opposite of leadership.

  • ArmoredBore

    I still shudder at the thought. Like I've told friends and family, I didn't as much vote FOR O'Dawg than I voted AGAINST Snowbilly and her Maverick.

  • tessiee

    Pardon my lack of finesse, but you're on the crack pipe if you think McCain would have survived a week after the election.

  • hellbabe

    Yeah, Ken, but do you realize that there are many democrats who feel that they are stuck with Obama…..because the repugs are so much worse? Where does a liberal go? Amsterdam? No, even there, the crazy conservatives have taken over.

  • Alternative title: Slow-witted liberals want to give up on Obama and give the Republicans the chance to name the next two Supreme Court Justices because daddy didn't give them a pony for Christmas.

    Daddy really did want to give them a pony, he just couldn't right yet.

  • BZ1

    The devil's in the details, and Obama has probably done the best he can, given the virulent hate directed at him.

  • Negropolis


  • mszardi

    Will you be walking any of this back now that the actual speech was nothing like you predicted it would be, Ken?

  • ExtremeLiberal

    Wow, I didn't realize Wonkette was a Tea Party site. Crazy, crazy people….I'm hearing Twilight Zone music.

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