HIS WORLD 1.0  2:34 pm April 12, 2011

Justin Bieber Unable To Broker Israel-Palestine Agreement

by Jack Stuef

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has canceled his date with pop sensation Justin Bieber over the singer’s refusal to meet with children living in communities affected by Gaza rocket fire, Channel Two reported on Tuesday.

The prime minister was scheduled to host the young singer at his office in Jerusalem on Wednesday evening, before Bieber’s Thursday night concert.

Until Israel gets serious with Bieber and holds talks without preconditions, there will never be a solution to this conflict. And he won’t agree to be the boyfriend of EITHER Israel or Palestine. [Haaretz]

 

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{ 65 comments }

WinterOuthouse April 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Beiber/Bachmann 2012

SmutBoffin April 12, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Dumb. Everything is dumb.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 12, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Yeah, it's getting pretty stupid round these parts, ain't it? You wanna go halfsies on a rocket to Mars?

Barbara_i April 12, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Tweeted by Willow Palin (for realz)
"I have Bieber fever!"
and I responded (for realz)
"It's probably just herpes"

horsedreamer_1 April 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Truly, blood libel.

DownFist Troll April 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Well this wins the internet for today.

Callyson April 12, 2011 at 4:47 pm

You sure that's not beaver fever?
Margaret Cho — Notorious C.H.O Part 5/10 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBvsvEzU72Q

KathrynSane April 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Oy vey.

Andrew Drinker April 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Well if Bieber can't fix the Middle East, forget about even thinking of sending Sec. Clinton!

Grief_Lessons April 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm

In this Justin Beiber joins Avril Lavigne, Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell, Matthew Good, David Usher, and all four members of Sloan on the list of Canadian pop stars who failed to broker mid-east peace.

BaldarTFlagass April 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I think you left out Rush and Max Webster and April Wine.

DaRooster April 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I love April Wine…

… it's made by Boone's Farm right?

Texan_Bulldog April 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Sign of the Gypsy Queen, baby! (Such an obscure mid-80s band–I think I love you.)

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2011 at 9:26 am

KMAC/KISS here in San Antonio played the shit out of April Wine back in the late 70s before they broke big. They still tour like a mofo up in Canada. You know they're all over town…

Grief_Lessons April 13, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Sign of the Gypsy Queen is still in the top forty in Canada.

weejee April 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Neil Young, too, also. Couldn't even get Bibi to take a hit on the bong.

Grief_Lessons April 12, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I just didn't want Bieber on the same list as Neil Young, no matter how tangentially music-related.

DownFist Troll April 12, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Shatner tried back in '67…didn't go so well

horsedreamer_1 April 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Khaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!

GOPCrusher April 12, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Should try it again, now that he's the Priceline Negotiator.

jus_wonderin April 12, 2011 at 3:15 pm

We'll be shadows in the moonlight, darlin I'll meet you at midnight
Hand and hand we'll go, dancin' through the Milky Way
And we'll find a little hide a way where we can love the whole night away
We'll be shadows in the moonlight right up `til the light of day

arihaya April 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm

only one hope left in Canada: "The Lumberjack Song"-singing Mounties

tcaalaw April 13, 2011 at 7:58 am

Yes, but what about Gordon Lightfoot's accomplishment in negotiating the return of the Sinai to Egypt in exchange for Egypt's diplomatic recognition of Israel? Or Alanis Morissette's role in brokering an end to the war in Bosnia?

widestanceroman April 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm

And what color are the lil' anti-Semite's toenails, cuz I'm guessing YELLOW!

CliveWarren April 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm

"Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has canceled his date with pop sensation Justin Bieber"

Deputy Prime Minister Bieberman to the rescue!!!

"Until Israel gets serious with Bieber and holds talks without preconditions, there will never be a solution to this conflict"

Israel doesn't negotiate with hooded cocks.

finallyhappy April 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm

So does Bibi's wife know he was dating an underage goy?

Limeylizzie April 12, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Neither do I , if I can help it.

Negropolis April 13, 2011 at 2:59 am

Are you saying you only negotiate with men with uncowled, shaved heads?

Limeylizzie April 13, 2011 at 5:45 am

Yes, I am, it's just a preference, but one of the joys of the USA

Troubledog April 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm

But they had no problem being nice to Sarah Palin.

freakishlywrong April 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Palin doesn't have Bieber's depth.

LocalGirlMakesGoo April 12, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Wait, you're talking about deepthroating, right?

arihaya April 12, 2011 at 3:42 pm

that proved that Palin is dumber than Bieber

BaldarTFlagass April 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Maybe he would have been more amenable if they had let him fire a couple of Delilah or Jericho II surface-to-surface missiles back over at the Palestinians. Teenage boys love that kinda shit.

pinkocommi April 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm

"the singer’s refusal to meet with children living in communities affected by Gaza rocket fire"

Why is the Bieb so anti-semitic?

weejee April 12, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Proves he's flying under the gheydar so he can unleash all of America pre-tennie boppers as suicide bombers taking out every Walmart and Target in the country.

SorosBot April 12, 2011 at 2:58 pm

If the mighty Bieber has failed, then what pop sensation will be able to create peace in the Middle East? Maybe the power of Katy Perry's too-hot-for-Sesame-Street breasts can do when the androgynous moppet could not.

jus_wonderin April 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

I hear The Hansons are available.

KeepFnThatChicken April 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Today, we are all Jewish tween victims of encroached rocket fire.

neiltheblaze April 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

How dare Justin Bieber not allow Netanyeehaw to use him to score propaganda points!

horsedreamer_1 April 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

& I was really hoping for a baklava-poutine hybrid to emerge from JB's time in the Levant. Another opportunity missed.

LesBontemps April 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I threw up in my mouth a little just reading that.

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I'm brushing my lips with my forefinger going Bibi Bieber Bibi Bieber Bibi Bieber.

Radio_Level_7 April 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm

That's what the downfister does with his hemorrhoids.

horsedreamer_1 April 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm

You write jokes for Letterman?

keepitupguys April 12, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Yes, I am giving up on gay men.

proudgrampa April 12, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Oh, hell. He's Canadian. That explains everything.

horsedreamer_1 April 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm

How can he hate the Jews when Canada gave us Leonard Cohen?

RedneckMuslin April 12, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has canceled his date with pop sensation Justin Bieber over the singer’s refusal to meet with children living in communities affected by Gaza rocket fire.

Because he doesn't want to get his ass blown up??? Although, I wouldn't mind seeing that. Baby, baby, baby.

DashboardTrumpet April 12, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Only if he covers Del Shannon's I Go to Pieces.

arihaya April 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm

WAIT !!

so that mean … after Israel, Justin Beiber will visit North Korea, right?? the other hotspot of violence and conflicts …

poncho_pilot April 13, 2011 at 1:10 am

he doesn't want to visit Thailand: Neil Bush might be there, drunk and confused.

OkieDokieDog April 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Why the hell was the PM "meeting" with the Biebs man/child anyway? This is almost as bad as the POTUS always being on vacation, or shootin' hoops wit da boyz, or eating fatty foods behind the FLOTUS back.

This is all Canada's fault.

Hatrabbit April 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Justin Bieber failed us? Quick! send in Rebecca Black

SorosBot April 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Send Prussian Blue – that would work well.

trampndirtdown April 12, 2011 at 9:17 pm

+1 for knowing Prussian Blue.

ShaveTheWhales April 12, 2011 at 11:04 pm

They're the house band here at Wonkette,

The nut house.

poncho_pilot April 13, 2011 at 1:05 am

ouch.

Negropolis April 13, 2011 at 3:02 am

How can you be that cruel? Haven't they suffered enough?

Texan_Bulldog April 12, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Is the Bieb a little bit pro-Palestinian? Shit, he has more depth than all the fundies and Snowbilly put together.

poncho_pilot April 13, 2011 at 1:04 am

well, bless his hateful little heart!

Negropolis April 13, 2011 at 2:55 am

Oh ye of little faith; Bieber saves!

BTW, this is probably the first time I've had any respect for the Biebs.

Negropolis April 13, 2011 at 3:00 am

This is why I miss Michael Jackson.

MiniMencken April 13, 2011 at 4:20 am

Ein Volk! Ein Reich! Ein Bieber!

MistaEko April 13, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Netenyahu was like Gaza, Gaza, Gaza, Oh!
But Bieber was like Gaza, Gaza, Gaza? No.

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