How long will Donald Trump stick around? Well, he’s still got some more election stuff to pretend he’s going to do. “The concern is if I don’t win [the GOP primary] will I run as an independent, and I think the answer is probably yes,” the Wall Street Journal reports him as saying, and we’re not going to bother listening to their interview—let’s go with that. So that counts as a news cycle right there. And threatening to run as an independent is great because Trump can continue threatening to jump in the race pretty much right up to the last minute next November. How many more news cycles can Trump ring out of saying stuff about politics like this? Let’s count it up.
- ACORN: Why is nobody talking about ACORN any more? They don’t want to win the Republican nomination, that’s why! Trump can release a new ACORN conspiracy theory every day for about a week before it gets too old. And it’ll probably put him in the lead of GOP nomination polls. 7 DAYS
- Announce plans to join his first presidential debate 1 DAY
- Back out of presidential debate because some unpopular fringe candidate is there 1 DAY
- Vow to create own TRUMP-SIZE presidential debate 1 DAY
- Decide no other candidates are worthy to attend Trump debate 1 DAY
- Hold Trump debate with Donny Deutsch or somebody like that 1 DAY
- Bring up Bill Ayers issue, bring to light “new evidence,” spit on an avowed communist in the MSNBC studio, etc. 6 DAYS
- Dumb viral video 1 DAY
- Video announcing upcoming “big announcement” 1 DAY
- Big announcement: Trump broke ground on a golf course 1 DAY
- Bring up the Obama scar issue 2 DAYS
- Have news cameras catch him arguing with a woman outside an abortion clinic 1 DAY
- Go to Tawain, make some threats against China 1 DAY
- Pose with Taiwanese businessmen, point weapon at China 1 DAY
- Force White House to disavow Trump’s threats as U.S. policy 1 DAY
- Pretend to be somebody’s vice presidential candidate: This comes towards the end of the fake campaign right when it seems Trump will have to back out of his fake race. Trump will say publicly he’s willing to crush Obama as the Republican front-runner’s running mate. 1 DAY
- Get in a fight with the fake running-mate: The next day, Trump decides the front-runner is weak on one issue or another and backs out of his offer to be vice president. 1 DAY
- Vow to get back in the race and crush the former fake running-mate. He must be taken down! 1 DAY
- Announce new reality teevee show, say politics is for chumps 1 DAY
Total: 31 more days of this. But there are definitely more in the middle there. We got bored.
We. [WSJ]
{ 103 comments }
Declare campaign bankruptcy: 15 days
What kind of fucking moron could bankrupt a casino? TWICE? I don't know why he'd bother to go independent. He'd be perfect for the republicans.
There was a snafu with one of his suppliers and the roulette wheels were installed with only one number on them?
It's that rebellious spirit that's so high on the GOP's recruiting criteria. "The house always wins? Not on MY watch!"
How many more days does he get for declaring moral bankruptcy? Hell, who am I kidding? The public won't even blink.
Trump Ice? Looks like bottled water to me. Seems he has misplaced the recipe.
Don't you see, it's liquid ice, not water! Very rare and exotic. Definitely worth $5 for 8 oz.
Best Political Prognostication of 2011. Roger Simon, You've Been Pwned — and for about $75K/year less.
Trump's Preznit Winning Plan
1) Media Whoring
2) Ignores cries about incompetency and financial nincompoopery
3) Appoints Charlie Sheen as VP and Secretary of Winning
4) Makes reality show for NBC
5) ???
6) Profit, er, winning
7) Declares US America bankrupt, flees to Aruba with Ron Paul Gold Amereos. Sez, US America sucked anyway and he was in no way responsible for it.
You say "Media Whoring" like it's a bad thing.
Have you seen the media?
Run Donald Run!!!!!!
To the nearest bankruptcy court.
No, seriously. Run. We'll give you a 20 second head start then we're coming after you with a thresher.
Go on The Alex Jones Shows, call Ben Franklin a homo: 2 months
In which case, I have to ask: why did The Donald do his study at The Wharton (on the Penn campus started by BF)?
I'd say there's abundant evidence, in the form of 20 children, that B. Franklin was the biggest womanizer of the Founders.
Campaign slogan: Trump — a choice not an exho.
I get it now! Trump is a Demon-crat plant! Nice nine-dimensional chess there, Barry.
Trump really wrings a lot of bells for some people.
Rich? Check
Douchebag? Check
Happy to Crush His Followers? Check
Followers who wish to be crushed by a rich douchebag? Check
Eye sea watt ewe dit their.
This hole trumped up candidacy has me ringing my hands!
Does anyone else get the impression he's a market study send up to see how the electorate responds to a dark horse candidate?
He's definitely a "study" of some sort… as is his wombat hairdo.
His daughter, Ivanka has "model" penciled in on her resume. His ex-wife, Ivana is a former model and yet, Donald is the biggest poser of them all.
Those are the funniest moments of The Apprentice, when Donnette comes by to ask a male contestant about "the business and what-not", and he tries (in vain) to keeps his eyes of the knockers. Also the Patrick Bateman son.
Now that she's pregnant it should be an even better view now that the Titty Fairy has shown up.
For people who supposedly hate Obama they're sure making it easier for him to win another term.
Independent=Going for the Tea Bagger vote.
They seem to be the only ones that are drinking the "One party is just as bad as the other" Kool-Aid anymore.
And since the budget compromise to keep the government running, they are real pissy if you call them a Republiklan tool.
Go to Tawain
It's okay, Jack. this 3 – 7 start has us all a little shaky.
Today, we are all bored, disillusioned asses.
appear on fox, claim to be bigger than jesus and reagan.
That's "Jeagan." They are a couple. Like Brangelina.
How many cycles if he builds a faux marble/gold White House replica casino then declares himself President, then declares bankruptcy (moral and financial — double jeopardy!) two weeks after it opens?
Trump can't run as an indie. When he refuses to fill out the financial disclosure forms (because he is actually broke and he doesn't want anyone to know) he will need the Republican establishment to go to bat for him and tell the media and everyone that it is entirely unfair to ask a presidential candidate to disclose his "private" finacial matters.
He'll win the Republican nomination by a hair.
Badger? Marmot? Transplanted pube?
On Clarence Thomas's Coke can?
Day 32: hired by Faux News as talking
hairpiecehead.Oh, come on! It would be sort of cool to watch him turn the White House into something that would embarrass Saddam Hussein.
Blinded by the white
Revved up like a douche
Another hummer for the Right.
Blinded by the white
…
You forgot "select a stunt running mate". Maybe a dog, or that guy that stands on the street corner and yells at traffic, or even Sarah Palin. The press will spend weeks talking about how brave Trump is to run with the first canine-American Veep candidate or whatever.
I'd like to see him pick former Tennessee House member Zach Wamp. Say it fast, & Trump-Wamp rhymes.
Not if you're from Michigan, it doesn't.
Shit. You're right, If they can take brake from praising brave Wisconsin Tea Bagger Paul Allen for his brave proposal to dismantle western civilization first.
I would run up an unconscionable bill at Pets Plus just before the debates, and just bark jibberish at Katie Couric. Sound familiar?
Show us your scalp!
Yeah, that back to the future wood graining on his head like they used to do here in C'Addle a century back with fir trim. The finishers would 'paint' faux oak-like grain on it before staining.
How many beads are you offering for that sight?
Won't fly. The Donald's fingers are too short to push da button.
"Press the button Don"
-Dr. Clayton Forrester-
Well, if he screws women, then he's gonna have to run as an independent, since the Repubs won't have him.
Wake me up when this fucktard learns to speak English.
How will Trump have time to pen nasty notes to everyone on the face of the earth that might say something disagreeable to Trump? He needs MORE TIME! How DARE anyone disagree or contradict Trump!
I wish he would give us more of those deranged scrawlings to Vanity Fare.
(that spelling goof was for you mumble!)
Crotch shot getting out of limo: 2 days.
If Trump does the Ross Perot thing, can I be the crazy aunt in the basement? Because I'll be laughing my ass off in a "involuntary committment" kinda way.
Is America ready for the Donald's hair? I think not! He spends more time on that bird's nest than $arah Failin does on her bump-its.
Whew! This is tiring me out. I haz a nap??
You laugh now, but when Trump wins, bankrupts the US, then sells the East Coast to satisfy our debts, who will be laughing then?
I will be if he sells the East Coast to Canada.
Sorry, you'd better get the Rosetta Stone for Mandarin.
OK then, fine. I won't be laughing.
It's true that un-informed people in China think "New York City is Heaven" but they'd learn better quick enough.
Hey, it's way cheaper than fixing the infrastructure. I can see it now: Donald Trump's new reality show…..Flip This Country.
The West Coast
Who wants to buy? There are no more resources beyond fat whiny people!
I'll vote Trump — if Melania agrees to show us her "Ljubljana".
Palin, Cain, Bachmann, Barbour–they've got nothing. Donald is the only true, phony candidate.
I saw what you did there.
How many more news cycles can Trump ring out of saying stuff about politics like this?
Wring wring wring wring
Wring wring wring wring
BANANAPHONE!!!!
I've got my hunches, they come in bunches….
He knows being a fake president would cut into his fake game show, right?
Why? It didn't hurt Gov. Jesse Ventura's career as a XFL announcer being Governor of Minnesota at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that if anyone spent 30 seconds looking into his past, current and planned business dealings they'd find several issues concerning conflicts of interests with him being POTUS.
It wasn't too long ago that Fox suspended a couple of, "Contributors" because of their potential Presidential aspirations and then they turn around and hire this guy just because he spews the birther nonsense. That alone tells me he's just getting as much air time as he can just to promote himself and his dumb show.
I don't see how anyone could think of him being an actual candidate. It's as though he's jealous of the attention Charlie Sheen is getting.
Please, Trump, DO EXACTLY THIS. Split those Birthers and Teatards from the Republicans. Then the only problem the Dems will have to face is somehow becoming competent.
Damn right. The Dems can fuck things up all by their selves, with no help at all.
Hold Trump debate with Donny Deutsch or somebody like that
i read that as 'debate with donny darko' and that would be seriously awesome.
Trump makes a better vice president due to his similarity to a bucket of warm spit.
I see over on MoJo that The Donald has a history of supporting pro-choice stuff, gay marriage, open gays in the military etc, and he just completed the flip-flop on that. Guess he figures it worked so well for Mittr Omney last time, it was worth a shot.
http://motherjones.com/politics/2011/04/donald-tr...
Yeah. Not sure why Mittens is thinking another try at it. His abortion stance when he was Governor of Massachusetts killed him in the Iowa Caucuses the last go around, and the Republiklans here haven't forgotten about that.
So The Donald will not be fired. All those loser contestants from The Apprentice who meekly took the elevator and left after hearing their fate should have simply announced that they were now going to compete as an independent, and unpacked their bags.
Then again, maybe they were on to something…
Also: now we know who will replace Glenn Beck, until he gets bored and decides to bankrupt another casino…
Strafe union protesters from Trump helicopter, 5 days.
Not a blimp?
"I fucked Omarosa." — 2 weeks
I read that as "I fucked Obama"
Gets divorce from Melanoma 1 Day
Book release, Bankruptcy, America's Path to Freedom 2 Days
Book Tour 7 days
Announces engagement to Pillow Palin 1 Day
Reality Show: America's Royal Wedding 2 Days X 14 Weeks
That's all I got.
He has all the flair of a turd in a wine glass.
"..The concern is if I don’t win …" Like wtf does that even mean? Exactly whose "concern" (other than, perhaps, Ben Bernanke, who has factored Trump's campaign spending into the Fed's econometric models)?
Does Trump honestly think if he doesn't prevail in the GOP's freakshow primary there would be a snowball's chance of him prevailing in the general election?
Trump's ex-wives hold a debate.
6 weeks
"Have news cameras catch him arguing with a woman outside an abortion clinic 1 DAY…"
… about whether or not the kid is his.
So, now I understand what this website is doing.
http://www.drafttrump2012.com/index.php
This has Fred Head campaign (fail) written all over it.
But at least Fred Thompson never had the countless footage of him bashing Bush and Republican policies on every pundit show. And let us not forget Trump's donations to Rahm Emanuel, and love letters to Pelosi.
Let's see: Bachmann/Trump- Two crazies and faux economic expertise
Romney/Trump- faux-squared economic expertise
Pawlenty/Trump- that would just be fun to consider (ads: Vote T-Paw and T-Rump)
This is the first time I have seen bottled water in a red label (oh and some guy's mug on it). How did they get the idea for this?
Trump: We have to do something different. We have to stand out.
Employee: Um, dude, uh sorry, Mr. Trump, its basically water you know? Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen, there's not much you can do.
Trump: I know, but this has really got to stand out. Look, I gathered all our competitors' bottles, and do you see what I see?
Employee: Um . . .
Trump: They're all blue. How about we make ours gold?
Employee: That's kind of close to yellow, people will associate it with piss.
Trump: Good point there junior. What other color do I like that really stands out?
Employee: Um . . .
Trump: Red, yes that's it.
Employee: But people associate blue with water, red is associated with fire, no?
Trump: Red, fire, great, and stick my face on it, people love that stuff. We're going to make millions junior, just you see.
He may be a fake candidate, but as far as I can tell he's a REAL horses ass.
Don't care if I'm flogging, but Trump is a Parasitic Hair-Weevil.
Why not Trump as an Independent? Or better yet, Palin or Bachmann?
If I am a Pubtard, even a rational one, I'd be all for it.
Why?
None of the current field can beat Obama. So the GOP should concede the Presidency and focus on preventing a blowout that could threaten their 2010 gains at the state and local levels, where they are wreaking the greatest havoc. That requires the wingbagger base, who will stay home if Mittens or Pawlenty is at the top of the ticket.
But, if you've got an establishment candidate to fetch the always vote and always vote straight-ticket crowd; and also somebody from the asylum as an Independent, then, while you don't win at the top, you hold it together down-ticket, and get to continue to destroy the country from the bottom up.
The notion that an Independent candidate will just ensure Obama's reelection might be an idea not fully explored.
Maybe Trump is the father of Tryg?
Can't wait to watch Trump and the Mittster in televised slap-off.
I love the part where he says he's running for president because "I like to win." No, not to be a public servant; hell, not even to pretend to be a public servant, but to pad his already ridiculously oversized ego.
Fuck off, you walking-talking obscenity; you greedy, towheaded, beady-eyed, overcombed motherfucker. When we already have politicians making a mockery of the process, the last thing we need is some freakshow celebrity to do the same.
- Goes to the Great Wall and demands that the Communist Party "Tear down this wall, Mr. Jintao!"
A full week
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