Bachmann Going To Serve Only One Term As President, Reinstall Mubarak

"I realize Michele Bachmann has pretty much already sewn up the 2012 election," you're saying to yourself, "but I'm worried she will be just another one of those two-term-grabbing disappointments." Fear not! Michele Bachmann is dedicated to the cause, not her place in history. "I'm a principled reformer, and my goal is to see the country turn around," she said. "I'm also committed to being a one-term president if that's what it takes in order to turn things around, because this is not about a personal ambition." But if it takes, like, six terms, she totally won't mind violating the Constitution. She loves dictatorship! She thinks President Obama should have intervened in Egypt to take down  the protestors.

"He wasn't perfect, but [former Egyptian President Hosni] Mubarak was one of the best friends that we had in the Middle East region,” Bachmann said. “When Mubarak was in trouble, where was the president? He was sitting on his hands and let Mubarak fall.

This is just incredible. Bachmann wanted Obama to send armed forces to Egypt to help a dictator crush masses of pro-democracy civilians . Just as governments should have stepped in to help the king of Great Britain take down the original Tea Party group, we guess.

Here is a hilarious sentence!

She said she intends to return many times to Iowa, where political insiders say her strength would lie with home-schoolers, abortion opponents, supporters of religious liberty, and tea party activists.

Maybe there's still time for her to round up some "home-schoolers" and "supporters of religious liberty," arm them, and send them to Egypt to destroy the burgeoning democracy and reinstall that dictator she loves so much?

Meanwhile, it looks like Bachmann has a birth-certificate problem.

Q. We went to the Black Hawk County courthouse and asked for a genealogical copy of your birth certificate, not an official, certified copy, just a genealogical copy, but they declined to release it. Would you be willing to give us a copy?

Uh oh!

[A.] "Of course, you can have my birth certificate! As a matter of fact I brought it with me the last time I went to Iowa in case anyone asked. I was born at Allen Memorial Hospital in Waterloo, and I was born at 12: 08 on April 6. My dad was actually in college at the time at what was called the state teachers' college which is of course now UNI, and that's where I was born."

So she was born just last Wednesday? Makes sense. [ Des Moines Register / Politico ]