Mitt Romney found himself an empty news cycle this afternoon, so he finally announced his candidacy for president in a video carefully crafted to be more boring than President Obama's first campaign video. In a way, Romney was taking an idea from his last campaign, which featured an inexplicable ad of him running. Now Mitt is standing above a running track, rather than on a course. See, things are different this time! Romney's slogan, "Believe in America" was actually last used in August 2004 by loser John Kerry, when he was on a two-week, 21-state tour flailing like a bland loser while the Swiftboaters swiftboated him. Romney has also taken his logo from Aquafresh, of all things, which isn't even one of the top two toothpastes in America. When Mittens steals something boring, he steals it from fellow losers.
Emails the Democrat who caught the echo, "I mean – Kerry’s slogan? Was Dukakis's not available?"
No, it was, but you can only have one slogan at a time, silly.
Meanwhile, that swirl in the Romney logo looks so much like toothpaste the thing actually appears to read "OMNEY." Look at it again. You won't be able to stop seeing "OMNEY." What does a search for "OMNEY" turn up? Not a lot. Pretty much just whatever the hell this is:
Good thing Romney has name ID and not too many people will be Googling that, we guess?
Oh, and somebody on our tips line suggested it's a good time to repost this:
If this <a href="http://wonkette.com/411667/..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://wonkette.com/411667/georgia-gov-candidate-...">http://wonkette.com/411667/... is real, then Gimme Mitt could be for real.
What exactly does unwashed dick taste like?