Boring Functionary Eric Cantor Trying To Destroy John Boehner

  teabagger trailer-palace intrigue

The Republican Party has no talent. All of their presidential candidates suck. All of their legislative leaders are uninspiring. This is the closest they can get to interesting politics:

According to the source, Cantor was pushing a hard conservative line in internal deliberations. Boehner’s camp viewed these urgings with suspicion, thinking they were a way to make Boehner look weak. The word “coup” was used.

Not exactly Shakespeare. John Boehner may be a half-wit drunk, dorkwad, but you’re still going to have to be more cunning than that to take him down. [Daily Caller]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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