Hey look, it’s Star Trek actor George Takei and, uh, non-Star Trek actress Patty Duke, doing a fun Star Trek thing for the oldz, who cannot figure out how to get their Social Security retirement payments. But it’s so easy, even William Shatner could figure out how to do it! (This is the actual joke of the next PSA.)
These are real things! Kudos to the budget-conscious producers for spending so little money on these webisodes. Because America can’t afford anything now! Because keeping G.E. tax-free is America’s No. 1 priority, besides shooting gazillion-dollar bombs at brown people somewhere.
Wait a minute, isn’t teevee’s Mr. Sulu a minority of both the racial and sexual persuasions? He should not be allowed to get Social Security. Raise the Retirement Age! (Raise it to 100 for poor people, and lower it to 35 for the richest 1% of people, who also don’t pay Social Security contributions beyond their first $100,000 of income.)
Okay, we just noticed Patty Duke is wearing vulcan ears. So they couldn’t get Leonard Nimoy, and the next choice was … Patty Duke?
There are about a hundred of these PSAs, for some reason. And next year, when Social Security and Medicare and everything else is canceled forever, Chuck Norris will be hired to pull the oxygen masks off old people in the hospital. [Social Security Online]
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2011: The Year We Make Contact
To bastardize Pogo, We have met the aliens and they are us
If by 'us' you mean 'the Tea Party', then yes.
A very effective ad – I can't tell which one of these icons is on the most medication…
"Navigating through asteroid belts" is some sort of extra dirty euphemism for anal sex, right? Oh, George Takei.
I always thought Patty Duke was rather suggestive.
Because a hot dog makes her lose control?
Ball of flames, kids. We're going down in a ball of flames.
Hell in a handbasket, I tells ya.
I thought Patty Lane was cool but Cathy was a prude. I'd rather bust out the bong with Patty and kick Cathy to the curb.
You know she's wild when a hot dog makes her lose control !
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!!!! I always thought she and Maynard G. Krebs from Dobbie Gillis should've hooked up.
I'm sure Zelda tried.
Dobie was such a fucking knob. Nowadays, his "many loves" would probably give him "gonorrhea".
But Cathy adored a minuet, the Ballet Russe, and crepes suzettes. You got somethin' against the arts and fancy cuisine, bg?
Where is Patty's identical cousin Cathy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQTqKcojrVY
Doing tricks in Leisure World
Kirk could do it — but not without tearing his shirt.
He was ALL man. I mean honestly, what name is more intimating Jean Luc or James Tiberius? Plus Kirk gets me a better deal on a hotel when I'm in Toronto. The Picard vs Kirk argument is officially settled!!!!!!!!!!!
Or making out with someone.
Or getting a RED SHIRT killed
This is good news for Zombie DeForest Kelley!
Zombie Bones! Hey Im getting better at this.
This Ken guy is just trying to make us old folk feel bad now. Who took the Jam out of his doughnut?
I know!
I was born in 1959, Star Trek, I relate to. (Late 60's, early 70's?)
But Patty Duke, not so much.
Oh MY!
Agreed. That was almost as good as "total douchebag": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UACK93xF-FE
I had not seen George's take on Clint but it is awesome.
Glad to share! It makes me laugh every time I watch it, especially the eyebrow raise on "rentboy".
Her performances on Match Game and the Hollywood Squares was a life changing revelation.
Yes, their next choice was Patty Duke.
She could play everyone.edited to admit I mixed up Patty Duke with Sally Field, leaning toward "dissociative identity disorder" humor. My bad.
Where's the crewman in the red shirt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_%28characte...
That would basically be any Democratic Senator.
Is Patty David's ex-wife? Because she would be wearing a pointy hat, not pointy ears.
No, she was married to Gomez Addams.
And they're Samwise Gamgee's parents.
Enjoy is while you can old people, As we learned in a previous thread, The New York Times is reporting that because of concern with the exploding national debt "which is reaching dangerous heights as the population ages" Obammar is considering the
Soylent Green option this week. So the leading liberal newspaper has recognized that its not 30 years of ever increasing tax breaks or endless wars in place we never heard of before but this despicable "old people" who are causing the national debt. Remember, Wall Street hedge fund managers are your friends so turn in a thieving parasitic old person today.
Remember, if you're chewing on a gristly old and she ain't got the same old flavor, why not try Soylent Sauce™? Made from soybeans, salt and our "secret ingredients," Soylent Sauce will have you clamoring for seconds!
Soylent Sauce™! It's U-mami®!
So that’s why they keep showing that short little film of the lemmings running off the cliff into the water here at the Home.
So that's why we here at the Home for the Really Old Farts keep seeing on the only teevee channel that short film of those lemmings running off the cliff into the water. Makes me want to grab my walker and head to the sea…
Well of course Sulu supports Socialist Security; he comes from the Federation, that godless socialist secular humanist moneyless utopia of the future.
don't even get me started on Chekov.
When I was a kid I always giggled when Kirk would call him "Jack-off"…
(tee hee hee)
Now I know why Chekov screams…
Kirk wouldn't do this because he is Canadian and already gets his sweet, sweet death panels. He's also nearly a billionaire after Priceline. Nimoy is just a dick. He'd rather hit the sci fi convention circuit than to do something like this.
If Shatner's retired, could he please stop making so many damn teevee commercials?
He's not retired. He has not one, but two, TV programs on the air this year. But he's probably making even more money from Priceline.
RACIST!!
We all knew Klingons were the orientals of space.
They're Asians, they're not rugs!!11!
So Sam Donaldson wears a bad oriental?
Oh My…Adagio con voce gravel-homo
I guess it's a tribute to the makeup artists, but I didn't realize that the actor that played Lieutenant Worf was a black guy until about the 4th season of that show. Or maybe I'm like Colbert in that I don't see color???
Me too. But once I realized that, it seemed like all the Klingons were made to look sorta kinda black (as in, you know, negroes), and I thought that was on purpose.
"The Klingons are all near!!!"
No that was the Romulans. Klingons were the various eurasian communist satellite substitutes.
Klingons = Russians, Romulans = Chinese, Vulcans = Japanese, Ferengi = Jews. I don't know who the Andorians were. Perhaps the natives of Bora Bora.
DATA = Obamar
But then who were the Cardassians? They were an expansionist empire that loved torture (there, are, FOUR, Lights!), so I guess – Americans?
(Oh and the Bajorians were Irish/Palestinian)
The Borg = Facebook.
'Oriental' is not the prefered nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
Whatever. But the world's worst drivers, agreed?
It's from The Big Lebowski, hon. Learn it, live it, love it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118715/quotes
That rug really tied the whole holodeck together, man.
"Do Republicans Know About These Socialist Security ‘Star Trek’ PSAs?"
Duh. At least the ones in Texas do. Why do you think they need hetero support centers? To protect their virtuous, innocent college students from the brainwashing of an Asian homo!
No more Social Security concerns once Paul Ryan introduces it to the Borg (soldiers played by the Koch Brothers; hive queen: her nibs, Annie Coulter).
“Social Security is futile.”
Do die-hard Trekies even vote? Aren't they kinda like Dead Heads (<Commie dopers – no doubt), and spend all their time (and Mama's SS check) traveling around the states to Trekie events?
Hey! I'm employed and own a house. Hell, I don't even work in the IT department! Don't you pigeonhole me…Oh my mistake you said "die-hard" you may proceed with the bashing.
Scoff if you will, but at least we aren't like those Lord Of The Rings weirdos.
Word
The Dead Heads I know are all sort of employed — as college librarians!
This is clearly evil, as it is just encouraging the olds and 'baggers to take government money, making them into Socialist. But if it is evil, why do they not have beards? Did George Soros pay for beard removal as part of his evil plan to control the Universe?
Oh, and isn't Shatner Canadian, possibly from Kenya? Let's see his birth certificate before we give him any of our (properly colored) money.
Those are the motherfuckers who took Obama's brain!
The bringers of pain and delight?
OMG, when did her vision return?
Do Not live long and Do not prosper.
The GOP mantra for the middle class.
I'm pretty sure Kirk nailed her on a beam-down, just after a red-shirted guy got dismembered by some radiation-emiting intergalactic lawnmower.
Yeah, well, I prefer this video: cat mesmerized by news story of Obama’s coming announcement that the Democratics are just like the Republicans, but with just half the calories.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anl-weC8k3M
Ohh Myyyyyyyy
These are the voyages of the retired people.
Capt’n, I’m giving her everything she’s got, but I think she’s about to blow.
How many Hollywood has-beens does it take to "win the future"?
I can haz a scooter with warp coils and dilithium crystal meth at no cost to me?
they walk alike, they talk alike, they take it up the butt alike, you can lose your mind!
Someone needs to give the Enterprise's drummer lessons in rimshot protocol.
Gee, thanks Big Government, for destroying a favorite television series from my childhood and reminding me how fricking old I'm getting.
Patty Duke? Didn't she have a twin or something? Damn…can't remember anything anymore…
For whatever reason, the only series to directly mention that use of the holodeck was Deep Space Nine; yet another reason it's the greatest of the Trek shows.
BLASPHEMER!
NO, crew members of The Next Generation were on the holodeck all the time. I even looked it up and found out the holodeck was introduced in the pilot of TNG. Among other things, it's where Mr. Data went to practice his non-existent joke-telling skills. (I apologize for my nerdiness.)
This is late, by I know that; I mean the orgy part, DS9 was the only series to mention that people used the holodeck for sexual fantasies.
I feel old. Please ship me some dignity at warp speed, Mr. Sulu.
Whoever made this should be stoned with styrofoam rocks by people in lizard suits.
NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Chuck Norris will be hired to pull the oxygen masks off old people in the hospital…
… by roundhouse kick!
I think the Patty has finally found the Valley of the Dolls. Something the olds who live in Idaho need to cope.
I didn't know Jan Brewer was on Star Trek.
I don't need Social Security as long as I have my royalties from Mr. Tambourine Man and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
I like the part about doing it in my pajamas. Or was that an anal leakage reference.
Haha, Mr. Sulu has navigated through asteroid belts.
And he also navigated Uranus.
(sorry)
They're Vulcans, they're identical Vulcans and you'll find…
I heard they tried to cast Jason Ellis – but George couldn't keep his hands off his man meat.
Is that a portrait of Boehner on Sulu's shirt?
True fact: Patty Duke was considered for the role of Captain Janeway on "Star Trek Voyager."
Another true fact: "Star Trek Voyager" sucked, and Patty Duke wouldn't have helped much.
This is presupposing that the olds know them Trekkie allusions?
I still think THIS is Mr. Takei's best PSA.
Agree.
It would have been effective also too, to just use that infamous Senior Moment in a 2010 Governor's debate – Social Security, so simple, Jan Brewer can do it.
In the Mirror Universe version, George sends Patty to the Agony Booth for making the cranky Klingon joke.
Chuck Norris ripping the O-Masks off of the Oldz would make a great new fall series.
Maybe Chuck could team up with supply-side Jesus as his sidekick. Supply side Jesus would not tolerate any "social programs".
Chuck Norris does not breathe oxygen. Oxygen breathes Chuck Norris.
You know what really bugs me. I work with people who think Picard was a better captain than Kirk. Jesus!
Well, at least her ears didn't fall off or her teeth drop out.
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