Won’t somebody think of the real victims?
Hundreds of Union and Confederate re-enactors plan to stay in Forts Sumter and Moultrie, another Park Service site across the harbor, during a week of events.
If there is a shutdown, plans will move forward to re-enact the bombardment Tuesday with about 30 cannons ringing the harbor from sites not on federal land.
“I’m shocked. This is a pivotal event in the nation’s history,” said Jeff Antley, who is coordinating arrangements for an estimated 1,000 re-enactors coming to the city. “You can’t say we’re going to reschedule for May. The money has been spent. The uniforms have been bought. The travel arrangements have been made.”
Was a pivotal event. Was. There is very little slavery in South Carolina these days.
(Also, weren’t the Confederates barred from entering Fort Sumter in the original battle? THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, NERDS! IT’S REAL AGAIN! Fire your fake guns on the Yanks!) [AP via Wonkette operative "Richard"]
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This is good news for the Society for Creative Anachronism!
(i.e., John McCain)
The period police will bust you for being naked.
Thank you, thank you. For knowing what this actually means, watch while I drink molten lead.
Hehe. "Period."
Pass the lead. Nekkid is *always* period.
And the tea baggers weep bitter tears. No making the south win this time??? WAAAAHHHHH!
That's alright. CIvil War II is taking place across America right now: all the viciousness of the first one, but now you can see it on the teevee.
I think this one is going to be more like the Spanish Civil War, but what do I know.
I loved Guernica, but I didn't think it was American enough.
Needs more chocolate cheese coffee pot.
Well, at least a lot of good literature came out of that.
Who's going to be the Generalissimo? Beck?
Like Bosnia
I'll wait for the movie…
South Carolina – Confederates in the Attic and Senators in the Closet.
Ham Biscuits!
A great read, by the way. Author Horowitz was like the Dave Weigel of the thorny practice of engaging, earning the trust of but sometimes reaping the disdain of re-enactors, like unto today's teatards.
Just finished it a couple of weeks ago. Good stuff.
Why oh why can't Alvin Greene go to this event and finally heal all the divisions between North and South with his subtle Tao jujitsu?
They can always invade Mark Sanford's house over on Sullivan's Island instead.
"You can’t say we’re going to reschedule for May. The money has been spent. The uniforms have been bought."
This is what I tried to tell the cops when they broke up my Gimp Party 2010 before it even really got started. The park we picked as the venue was beautiful too. A damn shame…
"The uniforms have been bought?" This guy obviously doesn't know any re-enactors — the uniforms have been painstakingly sewn by hand (usually by the re-enactor's wife, mother or girlfriend) and the leather soles have been hammered onto the shoes, the cartridges have been filled and the little fridge-keg has been wrapped in burlap to conceal its inauthentic nature.
I demand the right to give you 100 thumbs up for this one but intense debate will not let me!!
Jack, it's not the "Civil War"; it's the War of Northern Aggression because Haley Barbour (and a bunch of other racist retards) said so. You damn communist.
The War Necessitated by Southron Arrogance
Reroute the nation's power grid to Twitter headquarters, so Palin can weigh in. A catastrophe this huge is gonna need 3 maybe 4 tweets.
Death before dishonor, fellas. You know what you need to do. Blow your exceptional heads off or the tearists have won.
So, just to make sure I'm straight on this, the people pretending to be confederates are upset that they will not be able to set up on Federal land?
Oh irony, where is thy sting…
Aw, all the neo-Confederate racists won't be able to honor their slave-owning traitorous ancestors, and they've spent money on it which will go to waste, all because of the dingbat obstructionist GOP Congress they helped elect. Ha ha!
Do the Confederate re-enactors have mini ballz instead of truck nutz?
I'll say it agin, Nevar fergit! The Southerners started the civil war to preserve the very same aristocratic, feudal, slave based economy the GOP wants to impose on everybody now.
the word conservative does have its roots in the loyalists who supported the Kings of France and England.
That's what the various declarations of independence say!
If you were to ask Chilton Burr, he'd tell you that something always goes awry, afoul, or askew at these re-enactments.
That's one funny clip. I was simultaneously amused, diverted and entertained, of course, but most importantly, I was appleaseated.
Hey, I was just in Myrtle Beach.
That's almost like being at the front, right?
~
I have new respect for Obama. He's never come out and formally condemned this racist claptrap, but he knows how to play the long game. Well played, sir.
They've been doing without Supersize Anus Burger Combos for probably a whole year just to be able to button up that size 50S grey coat (or blue, Union cosplayers are probably obese gun-nut teatards too), so those unis are indeed going to be pretty useless in another month.
I believe real CSA men lived on cornmeal and bacon grease.
Can haz reel ammunition?
"Use live ammunition, assholes, wouldja please?!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SINbIcHxNGg
Nothing beats classic Carlin.
What about our Nazi pals…can't they re-enact the siege of Vienna? (oh wait…the commies won that one)
Wait. This guy has his panties in a bunch cause he's not going to be able to play dress up and sleep in a tent with his buddies (who I'm assuming are male) this weekend?
Just remember: nobody re-enacts slavery.
you know who else spent money on uniforms in anticipation of a military action in May?
Norman Schwarzkopf?
William the Conqueror?
the Kaiser?
Joe Kennedy?
Michael Jackson?
Terry Jones?
Tom Cruise?
Leonid Brezhnev?
But why is the Confederate government shutting down? Also? That shouldn't be for 4 more years?
"There is very little slavery in South Carolina these days."
Debt bondage may be another story.
oh sad little troll pet:
do fridays make you sad? that is the day when other people go to bars or shows or sporting events or have sex with their partner(s).
sad little troll pet spends his fridays repetitively clicking a small box above comments written by people he hates.
sad pet.
Is it my imagination, or does every post start out with one upfist, sort of as a birthright? Maybe Wonkette can have it boosted to two or three. Just to keep the troll amused and out of public view.
Yeah. Wonkette believes that you would at least upfist your own comment, and rewards you for that. Then the sad little pet troll, stuck in some smelly basement studio apartment with nothing to do, comes along to take away your reward. Sympathy is not enough. Have compassion. In Greek, compassion is splagnitzomai, which means to be affected in your stomach/intestines. Sort of appropriate…
"splagnitzomai" sounds like some sort of awful Austro-Hungarian noodle dish. Which gets us back to the stomach/intestine thing. So, um, yeah.
Really, I wish everyone would stop pretending that the teatards are all from the south. That dividing line just doesn't exist anymore. Most of the blatant teatard crap is from Wisconsin, Michigan, Idaho and Ohio, not the south; have you all been reading your own damn headlines? Granted I speak as a New Orleanian, which was never quite properly part of "the south", but I've seen enough yankee trust funder "artists" moving to town and quadrupling my rent that I am ready for another fucking war. Yankees are rude and disgusting, and if they're of the migratory type, extremely dangerous economically to locals. If I see one more abandoned factory turned into "loft" space for trust fund Manhattanites, I will fucking go ballistic. OK, wait, there were two just this week. I hate America and all Americans, and you can all keep your shitty strip malls and yuppie restaurants and loft housing. We do not require your airheaded po-mo dipshit "artists."
You do know the reason the teatard crap appears to be coming from the Midwest? With the exception of Idaho most of those states have resistance. In the South the little buggers have held power long enough to already push through their bullshit legislation whereas in these other states it's new. One thing I will agree with: Kansas. Kansas now has an incredibly right wing government at all levels and we're seeing as an open labratory as to what teatardism is REALLY all about. The South is of course an easy one to cite because they went from being enthusiastic members of the New Deal coalition until the Democrats passed Civil Rights and Republicans connected their policies with harming minorities. Since the South is pretty well overwhelmingly Republican and most national teatard pols were elected there…it makes sense to mock ya'll.
Well, makes just as much sense to mock ya'll too
You could mock us…except our state isn't over run with wingnuts who think that Jesus will return in our lifetime to rapture them up and also think the "Left Behind" series was fact-based. But hey, who's counting right? All I know is when George Allen called that kid "Macaca" his approval in Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi went up 10 points AFTER they learned it was a racial slur. Now, don't get me wrong here…to be fair, I don't think every southerner is a goober or a hillbilly…honestly, I don't. But you have to admit you guys do elect some really strange, bigoted evangelicals to office mostly because they saw "Gawd" and use minority-bashing dog whistle rhetoric a lot, that's about all.
Michelle Bachman.
Oh and one more…I promise this will be funny…in my state our most respected citizen is most defintely NOT a teevee evangelist, yep…I went there, all in good fun.
LT, not saying the south doesn't have it's wingnuts, it certainly does. I'm just saying the north isn't really any better, you all basically suck. I hate fucking New Yorkers and any other metropolitan Starbucks liberal motherfuckers. Losers.
"With the exception of Idaho most of those states have resistance"
In your own mind, perhaps.
Give me a call when you can produce a Tennessee Williams or Louis Armstrong. Thanks.
I'm sensing a lot of anger here.
Yes, it was explicit, Mini,Mencken.
Okay…so you hate the Northeast…where I don't even live, you cite Michelle Bachmann as if that means anything to me. Let me put it to you this way…every state and every region has a unique brand of stupidity and anachronism…but only is the South so fucking arrogant to keep stuffing its stupidity in the rest of our faces. Like we fucking care about refighting the civil war or whatever…but the South does. They also insist upon parading around a flag that might as well be a swastika for what it represented while demanding we all respect "southern values". Let me give you a clue about what "Southern Values" mean to us out west= George Bush. While simultaneously Southern values kept a demographically significant group from having marraige equality (don't argue that one, either…you know damn well where evangelism is the strongest) we also got the finger for trying to ratify Kyoto on our own because the President is an oil whore.
I don't hate any part of the country, the stereotypes just get under my skin sometimes. The south does have it's good points despite being majority teatard. You have to remember it isn't 100% percent teatard, about 30% of the population is reasonable and sane. Trust me, no one hates the NASCAR god fearin' type crap more than me.
Not only does the South stuff it's stupidity in our faces, it calls it "southern values" and INSISTS it's morally superior to the rest of us. Besides that, all I hear from the South is slackjaws rambling about "real 'Merika" (yeah like those of us on the coasts are just guests in your fucking country…you lost the Civil War 150 years ago, get over it Goober) or country music or NASCAR and force people not of their region to take part in stupid "southern values" bullshit because they won't vote for anyone who doesn't sound like Forrest Gump when they speak. If it 'twernt for Southern values…Jim Crowe would never have existed or be residual, (see: wonkette re: Mississippi on interracial marraige) fried coke wouldn't exist and we wouldn't have the fattest, most ignorant (guess where evolution is the least accepted? yep…you got it, the SOUTH) country in world history…get over yourselves; we mock you because you're so full of yourselves and because you deserve it for being pig racists and pig ignorant while pretending you're superior, pure and simple. (besides, I wasn't even addressing you, personally then or now but if this persists, I will)
Peace, I hate all that crap too. Upfisted. Nevertheless, I do love NOLA, and it's in the South, but LA doesn't really partake in any of that crap so much, being a majority Catholic former French colony.
I'm going to wait until 2039 when the Germans re-enact the invasion of Poland. Because that noble part of their history turned out equally well for them.
The horror, the horror……not really.
Tempest in a teapot. Everybody's friends again. In fact the next round of negotiations are going to be conducted on a paintball field, with members of Congress dressed as Confederate Soldiers and Obama dressed as Frederick Douglas, only it will be the time Frederick Douglas played a trick on his wife by dressing as Aunt Jemima.
"The uniforms have been bought?"
I would think they should have done this a time or two since the original… do they burn the uniforms after they wear them?
I guess that would probably make a bunch of sense for the Confederate side.
I'll see you and raise you a Haley Barbour and a Rick Scott.
look at Maine and the other states, You guys are just nuts.
Perhaps "nuts" are not limited to one section of the nation. As one born south of the fabled Line, who now lives much of the time in the deep South, and whose forebears fought and died for "Old Virginia" I think I can claim at least some southern heritage. There are enough nuts spread throughout the nation to let all areas cringe in embarrassment. (Maine was a mathematical mistake and it will probably be corrected in the next election [Oh, please!])
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