april 8 1911

Plurality of Mississippi GOP Think Interracial Marriage Should Be Illegal

FIX IT, OBAMA!PPP surveyed Mississippi Republican voters, and it turns out most of them aren’t shy about letting random people who call them up on the phone at dinner know how racist they are. Just 40% of them said interracial marriage should be legal, whereas 46% forcefully said it should be illegal. It’s a sign that Mississippi has made a lot of progress over the years: Some white people are now willing to admit they don’t think the government should keep the races separate. And because PPP also asked about the presidential nomination, it’s interesting to see who these haters support. It turns out people who think interracial marriage should be illegal like one candidate especially: Sarah Palin.

Palin’s net favorability with folks who think interracial marriage should be illegal (+55 at 74/19) is 17 points higher than it is with folks who think interracial marriage should be legal (+38 at 64/26.) Meanwhile Romney’s favorability numbers see the opposite trend. He’s at +23 (53/30) with voters who think interracial marriage should be legal but 19 points worse at +4 (44/40) with those who think it should be illegal.

Mike Huckabee does pretty well with the anti-interracial marriage crowd too. Perhaps that was the key issue that was holding him back from securing the GOP nomination in 2008. “It’s the white people marrying colored people/economy, stupid!”

Before you judge, though, these Mississippians have perfectly good reasons to ban marriage between people who don’t happen to be the same race:

“I believe God made us a different color for a reason and should be honored by not marrying outside of the race that God picked for me, however the color of one’s skin does not make him/her better than another color.”

God made people different colors so they’d be easier to organize! That’s all! Stop messing up his organization system. He gets really OCD when his things are messed up. So quit loving each other, people who don’t look the same! [PPP]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef
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  1. slithytoves

    And with that fellow Wonketters, I am off to drink a fifth of tequila! Bless us, every one.

  2. SheriffRoscoe

    I thought He made us different colors so we could tell who had the biggest cocks.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        I don't care what the so-called "data" shows, my own personal experience (and I enjoy ALL the flavors, mind you) tells me that when I hook up with a black dude, I have a good reason to look forward to not sitting down much the following day.

        1. tessiee

          "my own personal experience (and I enjoy ALL the flavors, mind you) tells me that when I hook up with a black dude, I have a good reason to look forward to not sitting down much the following day. "

          I remember reading somewhere (unfortunately, I can't cite the source, since it's been awhile) that one of the major companies who makes rubbers (Trojan, I think), actually did the research on this subject so they could market their product in different sizes.

          The results were that… pardon my unladylike turn of phrase here… black guys had bigger dicks than white guys, and Asian guys had smaller dicks than white guys… but the difference on average was only 1/2 inch or so.
          Um… go, science?

    1. pbrex

      Just remember, every time you generalize peen size based on race some bitch you hate gets wrecked by an Asian with a 7" cock

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Exactly. I recall Savage Love, many, many years ago, quoting a (bogus) survey of phallus size. The difference in average length between blacks & whites was negligible; only Japanese dongs (of course, Dong is not a Japanese surname, so it figures) came in at a quarter-inch shorter, on average, than other dongs.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I thought God did that so we would know who was good at math, or should run the local stop and robs?

    1. Boojum_Reborn

      Supermajority of racist retards are Palinistas.

      And, in a related development, the sky is up.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hey, it's tough being born a Mississippi Republican — you start out with two strikes against you.

        1. CliveWarren

          Sure, but it's the black eye, so what do you expect…

          It's also charming that the anti-racism guy has to have his face blurred.

  3. baconzgood

    A white man shouldn't marry a black woman, but he can sure as hell rape the shit out of her in Mississippi.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      That is why we "blacks" are available in such a delightful variety of skin tones today. Hooray for slave-rape! Apparently, it's in the Scriptures!

      1. Ducksworthy

        I'd say Interplanetary but that would be overestimating the broadmindedness of both of them.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      I was going to say. Todd is an Alaska Native.

      Stop libelling your bloodlines, Sarah Heath!

    1. genxr

      You mess around with the wrong toner, you might cause a paper jam in God's color copier.

  4. Barbara_i

    You get to decide who YOU get to marry and you don't get to decide who I marry. This is obnoxious garbage. It's not the white race and the black race, it's the human race, you idgit!

    1. SorosBot

      For the Republicans, they get to decide exactly who and how everyone else gets to fuck.

    2. poncho_pilot

      there's scientific evidence to back you up, too. but these people are from Mississippi. no need to elaborate on that.

    3. undeterredbyreality

      umm… you left off the "fookin'" before idjit. I think it's required by trademark.

    4. finallyhappy

      Well, I'm not sure that the people in this survey are fully human- do you know we share 60% of our genetic make-up with banana trees?(really, not joking)

    1. horsedreamer_1

      There's a reason Chappelle named his "black white-supremacist" Clayton. Close enough to Clarence to be understood, as such, but removed enough that Ol' Small Government Federalist Clarence couldn't sue for slander (& take up the courts's time & money on such frivolity).

  5. SorosBot

    Nice of the person to use being a complete moron creationist to justify being a moronic bigot.

  6. BlueStateLibel

    And I spent 19 hours watching Ken Burns' Civil War series only to find out the war never really ended, did it?

      1. emmelemm

        They haven't lost… they just found a sneakier way to "win" – i.e. taking far more tax money than they contribute, and controlling the public discourse on "social issues" – for the last 150 years.

        For being the side that "lost", they're pretty much in charge.

        ETA: Sorry there are so many air quotes here. But I think they're warranted!

    1. V572..whatever

      The thing that ended too soon was Reconstruction. Bad shit happens when presidential elections aren't decisively decided.

      1. LesBontemps

        … and the Supreme Court decides to thwart progressive policy by limiting the scope of federal jurisdiction.

  7. Pithaughn

    The sight of mixed race couples makes them squirmish. Unbelivable in other words. As in should not be living.
    Just finished the appendix in 1984 , so I am getting better at interpreting all these newspeak words that are coming into usage in REELMERIKUGH.

  8. Texan_Bulldog

    Don't tell the good people of MS, but Snowbilly is married to a minority. She told us Todd is an Eskimo…it's just darn inconvenient for him that he happens to have blue eyes.

    1. Ducksworthy

      True to the family tradition, I'm sure Toad has all the rights and privileges due to him as an enrolled Esquimaux, including oil money and unlimited murder of various forms of wildlife.

    2. DustBowlBlues

      Oh, I asked about this below. So she claims an extra reason to prove she's being victimized? Just as legitimate as the native Texan wife of a Seattle friend of the Old Man's who announced proudly, "I'm Cherokee/ Choctaw."

      Unable to help myself, I said, "And so is everyone else in Oklahoma. You on the Dawes Commission Rolls? No? Then you aren't either."

    3. Jukesgrrl

      She just said that to get the extra welfare, something she's against, of course. And do we know, for sure, that she's not collecting unemployment?

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      No, it's "I'm not a racist, my __________ is black." Blank usually filled in with any of the following:

      1. cousin's third baby's daddy
      2. cashier at the WalMart
      3. favorite QB

    2. horsedreamer_1

      "when I'm at an airport gate, & I see other men waiting for my plane, in Muslin garb, I get nervous".


  9. justkillmenow

    If we're supposed to marry people who look like us, then I'm guessing Mississippi is getting ready to legalize gay marriage, right?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Actually, even the invisible Guy in the Sky got this one right: Moses married a Cushite (Ethiopian) woman, and when a few people objected, God hisself came down to earth to personally kick their racist asses. (Numbers 12:1) Maybe if these bible-thumping cretins OPENED THE FREAKING BOOK before they started pounding on it, we'd have a nicer country.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Risen to: new level of imbecility
      new levels of hatred
      new level of insensitivity
      new level of prejudice

      "Maw, maw, the septic tank's overflowin' again!"

  10. Tundra Grifter

    I think the particularly interesting result of this poll is that 15% of the Republicans in Alaska support Duh Guv'Nor for President.

    Personally, I didn't think she could garner such sterling support.

  11. SorosBot

    I believe god made us in different families for a reason and should be honored by not marrying outside of the family that God picked for me, however the name of one’s kin does not make him/her better than another family.

    1. GeneralLerong

      Thanks. I needed that.

      No chance a New Madrid earthquake will send the whole state of Mississippi sailing off into the polluted Gulf of Mexico? Preferably with some hunks of adjacent states attached. Or maybe just have the Gulf flood the place?

      Where's some good old fashioned smiting when it's needed? The gods must be lazy.

      1. jus_wonderin

        Give me a heads up 'cuz there's a few chunks of Texas I wanna toss on those quake patches.

  12. nounverb911

    “I believe God made us a different color for a reason and should be honored by not marrying outside of the race that God picked for me, however the color of one’s skin does not make him/her better than another color.”
    What about orange people like Boehner? Who will he marry?

  13. Gopherit

    I am fairly certain that you could get a supermajority of wonkette commenters polled to say that any reproduction between native Mississippians would be best ended in abortion.

    Also, this sounds like a perfect question to ask Candidate Barbour.

    1. WriteyWriterton

      [White guy standing next to Richard Pryor, with a Pythonesque accent]: "Excuse me, lads, would you be so kind as to inform me where I might find the dark-complected females?"

  14. harry_palmer

    It's obvious they like their gene pool nice and brackish. The more closely related, the better!

  15. Barbara_i

    If any of these mouth breathers had a fine looking woman, such as Condoleezza, hitting on them they'd be all over that like white on Rice.

    1. riverside68

      I would trust Condi to cold cock those fuckers with a strap on and Ferragamo boots if they got within 50 feet of her. (Didn't she grow up south, leave, and never look back?)

      1. horsedreamer_1

        But some pretty Southern Belle, in a sundress & sandals, fanning herself on the veranda, between sips of sweet tea? She'd be down.

        & all those rumours about her shacking up with Dubya in an adulterous, miscegenous (neologism?) affair? The tabs fingered the wrong Bush. They meant Laura.

    1. FNMA

      Don't forget McKinley Morganfield.
      Or Robert Johnson.
      Or Bukka White.
      Or Mississippi John Hurt.
      Or…well, I could go on…

    2. Zvi_Bleindmeis

      What about our brother ElviouslyQueer?

      The Magnolia State. #50 in per capita income. #1 in percentage of African American population. Primal goo from which Haley Barbour slithered. EQ survived it, and lived to snark about it. Give him his due, Wonkies.

    3. tessiee

      Can we please expand upon this to include all the blues music that originated in the Mississippi Delta? Robert Johnson came from Sunflower County; you'd look a long time to find a more poetic name than that.

  16. Mumbletypeg

    *Sigh.* [outstretched palm to receive spit-out gumwad; adjusts eyeglass neck-chain; taps ruler pedantically on gradebook cover]

    We onlookers give you an F, Mississippi.

    To add to your growing collection.

  17. Steverino247

    Down fister troll strikes again. Dude, if's Friday. Take the rest of the day off, will ya?

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      Down Fisting Troll:

      You can drop my score all you want. But just remember that I don't have to believe in evolution, and you waste one seventh of your life trotting around with your friends — real and imaginary.

      Fuck you and your incapable-of-orgasm trophy wife,

      p.s.: guess how I know?

    2. El Pinche

      He'll be spending hours downfisting while I'm doing tequila shots and giving my wife the dirty dick this afternoon. Sad to be miserable neurotic brietbart troll.

      1. Steverino247

        You might want to wash that thing first. Unless, of course, part of the fun is licking it clean…

    1. DeeJayKitteh

      Speaking of small-minded…jeez. You'd think he'd get bored by now. But thanks for the upfist! I hate having my pee molested by the downfist troll.

  18. OneYieldRegular

    If nothing else, this certainly underscores the effective leadership of Haley Barbour.

  19. Ducksworthy

    Phew. The downfist toilet troll is moving much to fast to be reading the posts on here, and we know he can't read very fast what having sound out the phonemes and all,

    1. Gopherit

      You should talk to the guy. What a whiner. "Ken banned me! You guys are so intolerant! It wasn't because my posts were pedantic and filled with insults! I AM FUNNY AND INTERESTING!! I WILL DOWNFIST YOU ALL! FEEL MY VENGEANCE!"

      I have to admire this kind of dedication. He probably digs a hell of a ditch, too.

      1. SorosBot

        I just read your conversation with him, and god is he pathetic; I see he also admits to being a sockpuppet created after the first time he was banned here.

        1. Gopherit

          Yeah, I've read more than a few of his comments.

          Hey, Koch, you really aren't that interesting. Maybe you can find something you can do better. I'd start with a spelling book first.

      2. poncho_pilot


        he must be an Objectivist.

    2. BornInATrailer

      Is it funny that I wasn't sure how to pronounce phoneme and tried to sound it out?

  20. GregComlish

    Hey guys, did you ever wonder if a diversely representative selection of hot people from across the globe used their "combined powers" via coitus that we could produce a Super-Liberal like Captain Planet?

  21. Come here a minute

    Cool, I'm moving to Mississippi, where they won't look at me funny cause I sort my M&Ms before eating them.

    Oxford Town around the bend
    He come in to the door, he couldn’t get in
    All because of the color of his skin
    What do you think about that, my frien’?

    1. GOPCrusher

      You too? I have a friend that does that, and when I asked him why, he says "I don't know, I just have always done it."
      He was a virgin until he got married at 45 years old.

    2. weejee

      ♪♫ Went in dumb. Come out dumb too
      Hustlin' 'round Atlanta in their alligator shoes ♫♪

      Oh shit, that's LSU, not Ol' Miss.

      Did have a lengthy conversation with a Mississippi State alum who is quite suspect for any that go to Oxford, MS. The get too liberaluhmacated there.

    3. V572..whatever

      ♪♬And the poor White remains
      On the caboose of the train
      But it ain't him to blame
      He's only a pawn in their game♪♫

      Yeah, okay Bob, but it doesn't mean he isn't a big asshole.

  22. deanbooth

    Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix. — Leon M. Bazile, Virginia judge, 1958

    If God intended us to intermarry, he would have given us wings.

    1. [redacted]hse

      Then the white-assed MFs don't really belong here, where god intended the Red man to live, do they?
      " Makes sense to me…..does it to you?" (hat tip to TJ!)

  23. DaSandman

    LOL! yeah baby, slinging the dark thick dick do make the White Man crazy. Not as much as the white ladies however.

    Don't be hatin' I'm just saying…

    1. GeneralLerong

      Your new avatar pic caused yet another tea splotch on my monitor. So messy. Hafta get at that some time.

  24. KeepFnThatChicken

    it's Mississippi. It's flat as fuck, there's lots of mosquitoes, and the whites rank first in ass and last in class.

    1. unclejeems

      Right. And lots of fat white guys wear shirts that says "Ole Miss" across the chest.

  25. Ducksworthy

    Oh and BTW, Mississippi rethuglicans is OK with 14 year old cousins marrying, 12 year olds if one of em's pregnant.

    1. poncho_pilot

      i don't think if the civil war happened today it would be a war. more like, "can we still be friends?"

  26. orygoon

    I married a person who didn't look like me. The gender was completely opposite.

    Admittedly, the thing was a big ol' mistake.

  27. randcoolcatdaddy

    "“I believe God made us a different color for a reason and should be honored by not marrying outside of the race that God picked for me, however the color of one’s skin does not make him/her better than another color.”

    I'm sorry – I don't believe in your magical "god" thing. Could you please give me a better excuse for your illogical fear-mongering bigotry?

  28. Allmighty_Manos

    Mississippi GOP is basically another way of saying every white person in the state. .

  29. DashboardBuddha

    If you had told me back in the day that 1 decade into the 21st century we would still have racist bullshit like this, I would have been stunned. Stunned!

    But then, I wouldn't have known how much the GOP would be playing their base and encouraging shit like this either.

  30. sportshort

    People are racist in Mississippi? Say it's not so! The birthplace of the blues? I thought we'd all live in harmony after that little dustup in the 1860's. Darn. I am so disappointed/

  31. neiltheblaze

    Shocking. Though, not really, considering that most people in Mississippi think that Moses had to dodge velociraptors in the Sinai and that and Haley Barbour is a statesman.

  32. widestanceroman

    Mixed race abortions were A-ok to Nixon, and, judging by the present GOP, I don't imagine that's changed much.

  33. Andrew Drinker

    Hey Jack, you forgot the next part!

    We asked voters on this poll whether they think interracial marriage should be legal or illegal- 46% of Mississippi Republicans said it should be illegal to just 40% who think it should be legal. On the subject of inter-species marriage, 42% of Mississippi Republicans said it should be legal to marry any farm animal while 38% said only mammalian farm animals could be wed to humans.

    1. Barbara_i

      I know because everyone who post starts out as +1. I post and I refresh the page and there is a long line of people, including myself at 0. The downfister comes to the new posts and starts quickly.

      1. James Michael Curley

        So I miss all this because my boss keeps walking to my desk instead of calling me into his office.

  34. riverside68

    Damm it, Is Trump gonna hafta come out against interracial marriage now?
    Cause he will, if that's what it takes.
    He just wants a commitment that this will sow up the deal, it's all about the deal. (Didn't you read his book?)
    Whoever told him that going birther would be enough is fired!
    Whoever is married some different race is fired!

  35. Ducksworthy

    Nevar fergit! Southerners fought the civil war to preserve the kind feudal, aristocratic, slave based society the GOP is trying to impose on all of us today.

  36. a_pink_poodle

    "And Jesus said unto the interracial couple, "KEEP YER DIRTY DARKY HANDS OFF THAT LOVELY LILY WHITE SKIN, YOU BEAST!" and he hastily pushed the man out the backdoor of the Temple/beat him to death with a lead pipe."

    -Leviticus 6:9

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Well, why did you have to go and quote something actually in the Bible? You could have at least made something up.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      You don't find a whole lot of Jesus in Leviticus. Or in Mississippi, when you get right down to it.

  37. FlownOver

    Maybe Mississippi and Montana can go to war over which is worse – interracial or same-sex relationships.

    Either way, at least 48 states would be a little better off.

  38. BarackMyWorld

    O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!
    From far and wide,
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    **sings and packs his bags**

  39. weejee

    Jack can you get in touch with Linda McMahon's people and see if you can make riverside's idea happen?

    Pay-per-view smackdown!!!

    1. riverside68

      C'Addle ain't by any chance Seattle by way of Coeur d'Alene?
      (Just askin cause my daddy did that in 1925, lived in the CD too.)

  40. poncho_pilot

    come on, Mississippi: god's box is full of different colored crayons. but we're all still crayons.
    so, pull your head out the hole on the backside of god's box and join the human race. we have shoes. pretty, pretty shoes.

      1. poncho_pilot

        shhh! the shoes are just petrified graham crackers attached to feet with rubber bands!

  41. x111e7thst

    So take up the White Man's burden–
    And reap his old reward,
    which in Mississippi is usually sex with your sister or cousin,
    depending on which of them is better at running away.

  42. peaceocrap

    Government should stop sticking its big nose into oil drilling in the gulf, or regulating nuclear power plants, or having safety standards for coal mines, and get back to its real job of stopping people who love each other from getting hitched.

  43. LettucePrey

    Yo, everyone: here is everything you ever wanted or needed to know about Mississippi. And I mean everything. It's the armpit of North America and has been for 200 years. This latest poll should surprise no one.

    Edit: Damnit! Won't let me imbed the link: http://i.imgur.com/zMaff.jpg

  44. jus_wonderin

    "Red and yellow. Black and white. They are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little childern of the world."

    I can't believe we sang that at our all white Baptist church (that I ran away from so fast when I learned I could say "No, Mom, I'd rather have my ears pulled off. Thank you.)

    She is more liberal now.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Well, you sang THAT song. But it didn't say nothing about allowing those little black kids to marry those little white kids.

  45. Warpde

    The poll also found 99.9% of those asked believe inbreading is Gawd's way of eliminating undesirables.

  46. smashaduck

    Has anyone told Clarence Thomas? No? Hey Clarence, guess what. They still hate you.

  47. DustBowlBlues

    Actually, I'm grateful for MIssissippi. Without them, Oklahoma would look even more backasswards.

    Before I scoot out the door to get things fixed up at church for worship and Sunday School, let me leave you with this thought: every time a Repubiitard opens his/her mouth, Jesus weeps.

  48. anniegetyerfun

    But but but… if it were illegal, then Barack Obama would never have been born! Who would these people direct their Scooter Rage at?

  49. AnAmericanInTO

    Is this some bizarre way to retroactively make Obama illegitimate?

    As goes Mississippi, so goes Hawaii.

    50 years ago.

  50. fartknocker

    Stay classy Mississippi GOP.

    And I would love to make sweet, sweet love to Pam Greer. That woman is H O T. And do it in Mississippi after drinking some Mint Julieps and eating crawfish gumbo. Sexy thoughts indeed….

  51. Redhead

    I think people shouldn't marry outside of their IQ range, either. God made some of us smart and some of us dumb as a brick for a reason!

    /snark – I'm not sure I buy these results… they sound AWFULLY close to what I would say if a telemarketer called my cell phone and interrupted my dinner. Of course, I'd probably throw an alien reference in there too (or trucknutz!), and I don't have a landline… but still. At least 1/3 of those people saying interracial marriage should be illegal HAD to be just fucking with the guy.

  52. Lost_Teabaggers

    Considering Mississippi literally saw 88% of its honky population vote McCain in 2008 while 94% of its black populace sanely picked Obama, this is neither a shock nor unexpected. I keep saying this to teabaggers…you can't pretend theres no racism in your group when a full 6% voted against Obama simply because he's black in 2008. That was 6% who was honest enough to admit it…which for Republicans, is a pretty high %. But something between 45-52% of Republicans also think Barry was born in Kenya, too. What I'm saying is, to cut to the chase….you stupid racist bastard Republicans, grow up fucking finally! It's 2011, Jesus Christ you people hold onto racism with a vigor most people hold onto life with….fucking unbelieveable…you dumb, sow fucking…chislers…. :grumbles: can't wait for the next civil war so we get to kill these inbred assholes all over again…

  53. poncho_pilot

    i don't have the answer to that but it would explain the 10 story tall pop-o-matic bubble in Antarctica.

  54. pinkocommi

    Why is it always the bigots who care the most about honoring God? (in exactly the wrong way….)

  55. Gainsbourg69

    Has anyone asked white, southern girls if they're cool with this? Because if there's a demographic that loves the minority cock is fat, white, southern girls.

  56. Negropolis

    I feel sorry for the pollsters. I mean, I can't imagine they've ever heard the term "nigger-lover" so much as they had heard that night.

    Wait till they find out that Jesus was a Jew! Jewsus; boy-howdy!

  57. widget2011

    This is what Sarah Palin calls "real murkans", in other words, someone not afraid to call Obamer a nigger.

  58. anniegetyerfun

    Normally, I would respond "Me, me, me, please pick me!" But now that I know it might one day be illegal in a fine state like Mississippi, I'm not sure. I mean, I'd hate to violate the law to get me some milk chocolate… oh, who am I kidding? Do it to me, hard.

  59. Gold_ManSacks

    I'm more of a caramel complexion but that is neither here nor there. The issue here is getting politicians out of my bedroom and away from my sexy parts.

  60. Gold_ManSacks

    Boo to that! I down fist you with gusto for saying I can't make sweet, sweet love to ladies just because my skin is a color your pasty white ass can only dream of. I will have sexy time and I will have it with women of many different hues and shades.

Comments are closed.