A true disaster:
Time to move away from those fault lines. There’s no way you’re safe now. If it’s humanly possible to cause earthquakes, that will probably be the result of this. Obviously, this is an crisis. [Twitter]
AN CRITICAL MAN 11:41 am April 8, 2011
Uh Oh: Ben Quayle In Charge of Our Earthquake Preparedness
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 72 comments }
He's
seen a lot of videoswritten a lot of scenes where the earth moves.Japan got struck again yesterday with an earthquake. Oddly enough, the rape, meth and batshit crazy capitol of the world, Wasilla remained unscathed. I am starting to think that there is no God.
Japan's God of Earthquakes is busy right now. When he gets some spare time he'll concentrate on Wasilla.
They're still recovering from the Big One. Nine-point-two, suckahs, with "ground liquefaction"!
And a whole bluff-load of beautiful-view houses deposited on the shore below.
Oh there is…he's just a prick.
Being themselves is punishment enough
Obviously this is a twatter mistake. Ben was assigned to chair the subcommittee on earth quacks.
So he's the new voice of the Aflack duck, too?
"Uh Oh: Ben Quayle In Charge of Our Earthquake Preparedness"
But who will protect us from Quayl?
And isn't the term "earthquak"?
ah, so that's how Los Angeles will break away from the rest of America and become an island.
Because an Arizonan, who has absolutely no experience in earthquakes, but with Dan Quayle's genes, will be helping us prepare for earthquakes? If I were in LA, I'd be pushing off the San Andreas to make it an Island. The City-State of Los Angeles.
So anyone living near New Madrid, MO should get the hell out right now.
or not, depending on who you are. Is it near rush's hometown?
Actually yes!
His announcement is 9.0 on the We're Fucked Scale.
How do these assignments get made? WTH does Ben know about earthquake preparedness–he'd be better off spending his time teaching old man Grassley how to tweet. At least Ben's tweet is readable.
Heck of a job, retardie…
His big plan will be to prevent god from punishing us by outlawing television shows from featuring successful single mothers.
Something tells me this will result in several churches getting grants for Jesus prayer circles to save us from the unholy ground demons. It's not like the USGS was doing much better anyway. NO WELFARE FOR SCIENTISTS!
Then I'll demand we go back further, and bring back the practices of sacrificing horses to appease Poseidon and prevent his wrath.
I vote for the Astarte Temple prostitutes to ensure crop fertility… what the hell it probably doesn't work, but it couldn't hurt to try.
As a resident of Seattle, I can now sleep soundly knowing that Dan Quayle's son from the middle of Buttfuck Arizona is on the case.
Our beloved Bolshevik Representative Jim McDermott will keep Quayle from turning C'Addle into mashed potatoez.
Do we have a whole thread of Seattle residents here? Love and fists to all!
It is kind of scary how many posters are from the Puget Sound Region. And, heck, Lascaux hasn't even checked in. There might be more of us from this area that post here than any other area than DC. Just another reason Ken should fly out everyone to Seattle for a major party.
I just figure that we thought this blog was about the real Washington and got stuck.
It is a little scary…
Also scary: how much time I've begun spending on the Wonkette because it's the only way I can drown my sorrows. Because of that, I vaguely seem to recall that the Olympic Peninsula caveman mentioned something about being on a trip for a week or something and not being able to Wonk.
Other posters who leap to mind as having outed themselves as Seattlites: OneDollarJuana, and the person who has an avatar with the Seattle skyline with the British flag behind it…
I believe Anniegetyourfun is a King county type too.
Doesn't everyone die at the end of "Earthquake"?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071455/
Ben's committee will end up prosecuting Andy Richter…
This is about as stupid as putting Bobby Jindal in charge of volcano monitoring.
I was only in charge of earthquakes…not soonammies.
Not if you're looking for a good reason to completely defund seismic monitoring. Jeebus will protect the Righteous.
I know some tectonic plates that are feeling very creeped out right now.
Pangea or GTFO.
Skyscrapers with no structural bearings or dampeners for everyone!
Quayle should be on a committee dealing with child welfare. That campaign ad featuring him and someone else's children was great.
The sea wall is more the problem as it would go first.
Well that is a cheery little apocalypse.
Welcome to California, where if the radiation from Japan doesn't get you, the earthquake "preparation" from Quayle will…
Well, he is really shaky.
Ben Quayle will knock the hell out of those earthquakes.
__ARTHQUAK__
"Pat, I would like to buy an O."
We're doomed!
What's sad is you could make this exact comment on every Wonkette thread, and it would be totally appropriate.
The nice thing is that when the viaduct finally collapses, I'll have a good excuse to take a day off from work.
Dandad must have bought beachfront property in Arizona and got tired of waiting for the value to go up.
If I lived near fault lines, I'd be replacing my roof with cotton batting right now.
Damn thing is, being a Republican, when the big one hits, it won't be his fault (I should be smacked for that, but an upfist will do for now).
I have to give Junior kudos that he's not demanding live testimony from fetuses on this issue (yet), but god these Republicans are slow. I mean, wasn't earthquake preparedness "critical" *before* the devastation in Japan? And isn't his entire party in the process of dismantling whatever funding might make actual "earthquake preparedness" feasible?
yup, Ben might never heard of a city called San Francisco
Wait till we find out what he means by "preparedness"; tithing to some evangelist perhaps?
Stock up on potatoes and other people's children, the Big One's gonna hit soon now!
For some reason when I see Dan's face I always think "dude, your nose is kinda goofy – it looks like the South Pacific Induction Zone along the Pan-Asian fault line."
Danny will be just fine. If he has questions he can always call John Boy McCain who spent a number of years in Vietnam and probably experienced an earthquake.
Snark off, this shit pisses me off. In the US we have a program called NEHRP (National Earthquake Hazard Reduction Program), which is consortium of some of the world's smartest geophysicists, geologists, structural engineers, and materials experts who continue to study and improve construction practices in seismically active areas. How is it that a shit bag from AZ whose claim to fame was to create a website showing 20-something women drinking in bars in Scottsdale while flashing their breasts http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/08/11/days-d… in charge of a committee like this? Oh yeah, I remember why – he's a fucking Teabagger and will want to defund NEHRP and the FEMA Urban Search and Rescue Teams because they are expensive and earthquakes don't happen.
OK, Bobby Jindal, I take it back: you're free–nay, encouraged–to derisively mock government efforts at disaster preparedness.
And with that news, I think it's time to start my weekend bender.
this is, basically, GOP's way of telling California and the rest of Left Coast (which is tectonic hotspots) to fuck off and die
well, he does say "AN critical issue." but i'm just picking nits.
Clearly, tax reduction is the best way to prepare for earthkwakes.
Is there anything that sweet, sweet tax cuts won't cure?
Why not Carole King? She feels the earth move under her feet, after all.
Good thing this has only become an issue after what happened in Japan.
John Boehner must be wearing his Bad Idea Jeans or something.
I am peeing myself at that comment and I really don't know why, I am actually crying with laughter.
Does this mean more quicker deaths and less aftermath suffering?
Wow, is it possible to trigger an earthquake from sheer ineptitude and nepotism?
"I'm about to high chair a subcommitee…"
I'm sure this is what he meant.
Nothing a good abortion re re re defunding bill won't fix.
He can see Japan from his house, obviously.
You can't do anything about earthquakes. Which is why Quayle is perfect for the job.
This mouth-breather is living proof that genes and chromosomes can be cruel to the extreme. Too bad daddy found the right hole for once. Daddy's stupid and mommy's ugly squared and put in one disgusting skin sack.
Unfortunately liberals Wasilla seems to be out of harms way of Alaskan natural death…it's too far away from the active volcanoes (though a truly massive eruption could cover it in ash) and it's not closely located enough to the coast to get hammered by anything but a truly massive earthquake off the Aluetians. That being said…it is Wasilla, and there could be dormant faults nearby that could rupture…we're still finding those all over the place. But liberals…there IS a place that could level a good portion of the South: the New Madrid fault zone in Missouri. There's also a fault at the bottom of the Mississippi which could nail Louisianna…and there's enough nuke plants in those areas that if either fault let off a big one ala Japan we'd be looking at Fukushima x X. So, while the methbillies probably would escape harm…the megachurches could easily get leveled…that's at least something, right?
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