Montana Still Wants To Prosecute People For Being Gay

  big sky small minds

This man professes to need some anal education.“Fourteen years ago the Montana Supreme Court ruled that a state law criminalizing gay sex violates Montana’s constitution, yet the Montana Legislature has repeatedly failed to scrub the language, which places homosexuality in the same legal category as bestiality, from the books.” Too busy trying to legalize drunk driving? No, Montana’s legislators just hate gay people. According to Republican state Rep. Ken Peterson, the ruling against the gay-sex law has, thank God, left open a loophole for the prosecution of gays. What sort of thing could be illegal? “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it,” Peterson said (really). Some young man out there in Montana should go show up in Peterson’s bedroom so he can be arrested.

“Homosexuals can’t go out into the heterosexual community and try to recruit people, or try to enlist them in homosexual acts,” Peterson says. He provides an example: “‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.’” Peterson hasn’t actually seen this happen, he says, because “I don’t associate with that group of people at all… I’ve associated with mainstream people all my life.”

You can never doth protest too much, right? (Also, lol, Peterson thinks people who live in middle-of-nowhere Montana are “mainstream.”)

Maybe this is just his way of celebrating the government shutdown; repeating the classic gay-fearin’ rhetoric of 1995. [Missoula Independent]

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193 comments

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Everyone knows that mainstream people use a wide stance. How else can you hook up for anonymous gay sex and not be prosecuted?

    1. anniegetyerfun

      They are always looking to tighten those loopholes. Because they get loosened by the horses. When they ride them, that is.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      I'll kiss my dog's rear end

      Hey, Montana legislators are all "Ew, gross, gay sex," but I'm sure they'd be right on board with helping you do this.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Come here, Asshole, your hormones are raging. Let's go into this bedroom and try out some homosexualisms. I think that you will find that you like it.

    2. V572..whatever

      Easy on Montana, folks. I once spent a very enjoyable weekend with a flight attendant in Billings. "Let's go in this bedroom," she said, "and let's engage in some heterosexual acts." And we did. And it was good.

      Plus Yellowstone is awesome.

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        We call that the Arizona Corollary. The state is beautiful. It's 90% of the population who suck.

          1. GunToting[Redacted]

            Nope, pretty sure. Once you leave the toxic valley behind (home to scorpions, Gila monster, and Bristol Palin's crackhouse) it's actually quite lovely. I'd imagine that the same would apply to Utah, but I've only been to SLC.

  1. nounverb911

    "You can never doth protest too much, right? "
    Its time for Ken Peterson to come out of the closet.

  2. Grief_Lessons

    Deep in the recesses of the repressed ball of yarn Ken Peterson is pleased to call his mind, he yearns (yearns!) to get on his knees and genuflect before the impossibly dark penis of a large black man. It's what made him the Republican he is today.

  3. dr_giraud

    There are 2 kinds of "mainstream" in Montana: one you fish in, and the other you dump mining chemicals into.

  4. Barbara_i

    "Homosexuals can’t go out into the heterosexual community and try to recruit people, or try to enlist them in homosexual acts"

    Do they gays get small appliances for bringing more members in? Is this like a Tupperware party thing where they lure us in with hors D'oeuvres and small nibbly foods and then then we get a kicky beret` and then we all have to give each other a ride to gay pride parades and glue sequins on each others costumes?

    I'm just not sure how this gay thing works.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I do think it is called "Gayway". But it is more of a pyramid scheme where we form an actual pyramid of nude, oiled up, sinuous bodies.

      But yes, toasters are involved.

      1. loulouroo

        You beat me to it! I was just going to say that The Gay is the worst Multi-Level Marketing scheme EVER.

      2. Tommmcattt

        Toasters are involved, but only to toast the fetus treats at the meeting.

        Nothing like a crunchy fetus to get your motor running.

    2. BTWBFDIMHO

      - and this Tupperware would be ideal for your LBT sandwiches…
      - OMG, that's disgusting!!

      1. Barbara_i

        Disgustingly fresh! Did you listen for the patented burp? I was going to call the burp something else and didn't have the balls to do it.

    3. FangornForest

      They give out tupperware?! That's how my daughter came home with the sandwich keeper from school the other day! According to the gay agenda literature you only get the toaster after being indoctrinated at gun point.

      {Sidenote: I've been lurking for a while, upfisting you guys behind the scenes-I'm shy that way-Thanks for some wonderful sanity saving snark :) }

  5. DaRooster

    Wait just a cotton pickin' minute…
    You ARE Republican and you THINK you have never associated with a gay guy? Think Rent Bois Ass-neck.

    You sir are a moron!

    1. pbrex

      But but but, the CL posting said he was str8 and just experimenting! If I can't trust M4M ads anymore I don't know what to believe.

    1. Negropolis

      Hell no am I going to pay so this guy can go on a relaxing vacation to his usual haunt.

  6. baconzgood

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it,”

    Worst fern-bar pick up line EVER!

    1. Amo_of_Bogio

      Never been to MT, baconzgood, however I imagine fern bars are thin on the ground.

      OT, the only things I know for sure about Montana come from "A River Runs Through It" the novel, not the movie.

        1. GunToting[Redacted]

          As I mentioned above, this applies to much of Arizona as well. I can't WAIT until the Rapture!

    2. anniegetyerfun

      I'm trying to picture a young man, even a gay young man in Montana who is desperate to have a first sexual experience with a predatory older man, giving into that line. And I don't think he would. I think he would be, all, "Wow, that just fucking killed my boner. Thanks."

      1. GeoffPeterson

        I believe what dickhead is implying is that this line would on straight men and turn them gay. Thus the need for the law.

        1. SorosBot

          What the guy doesn't understand is that he's not a straight man who's been tempted and tricked into gay sex at times, he's a closeted gay man; actual straight men don't have the same desires he does and so won't turn gay if "recruited" (really just hit on).

        2. __kth__

          Obviously it's supposed to be a paraphrase. If it sounded too authentic/sexy, people might think that Peterson had the 'mo cooties.

          That's why Peterson didn't go with the first, ostensibly-hypothetical pickup line that occurred to him, e.g., "wow, you look like you've really been working out".

          1. Gleem_McShineys

            I believe "What position did you play" is the lastest one all the Repubs are using nowadays.

    3. kissawookiee

      Aaaaaaand the "writers" of Mary Worth have just stumbled upon the best new plot direction and dialogue EVAR.

    4. ArmoredBore

      Alas, the content filter at work is preventing me from linking it (first no Dresden Codak, and now this? HARUMPH), but OK Cupid did a survey/study thing about gay vs. straight dating. One bit I found interesting was how some impossibly tiny fraction of OK Cupid users who identified as gay said they hit on heterosexuals intentionally. Something like 0.5% of those surveyed.

      Those cunning fags and their roving bands of gay banditos!!

  7. Jerri

    Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.

    Well if that line doesn't get a young man all hot and bothered, nothing will. I hope Peterson buys the guy a phosphate when they're through engaging in some homosexual acts.

    1. SorosBot

      It's a great line; I've picked up a ton of girls by walking up and asking, "Let's go into this bedroom and engage in some heterosexual acts." Drives them wild.

      1. GeoffPeterson

        I find that line is particularly effective if I had, "You'll find that you'll like it."

  8. Rosie_Scenario

    Appropos: there's apparently a new poll, taken in Mississippi (why let Montana have all the fun), and more folks think that interracial marriage should be illegal, than think it should be legal. The 21st Century isn't exactly what I expected it would be.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      My (brown) fiance announced that to me last night as I was curling up to read Nelson Mandela's autobiography. I can't say that I woke up feeling happy or anything.

    2. jqheywood

      46% of republicans in Mississippi think it should be illegal, 40% think it should be legal, and the rest are functionally brain-dead.

      Only 40% think it should be legal.

      America, what a country!

      1. finallyhappy

        I hereby move that we force Mississippi to secede along with Texas and Montana- and we will continue to help them with new territory as time goes on

    3. GOPCrusher

      Because it's Daylight Savings Time, it won't be the 21st century in Mississippi for 60 more years.

  9. jus_wonderin

    “I don’t associate with that group of people at all… I’ve associated with mainstream people all my life.”

    Yeah, right.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Well, if you have never "mainstreamed," you really can't call yourself a closeted homosexual.

  10. SorosBot

    So how did this guy not here about the Supreme Court ruling quite a few years ago that made kinds of laws unconstitutional?

    Oh, and moran: 1) gay people do not go out and recruit, and 2) gay people are mainstream.

    1. jqheywood

      I was at a pride parade in DC years ago, and my favorite part was the J. Edgar Hoover marchers (they were all in drag in red dresses) chanting "ten percent is not enough! Recruit! Recruit! Recruit!"

  11. Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    ‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.’

    Sorry ladies, after reading that sentence I'm now gay. That's exactly how it works.

    1. karen

      Pfft. That's nothing. It turned me straight, then it confused my gender, I had a sex change, and now I'm gay for the wang. Powerful, this gay voodoo.

  12. Allmighty_Manos

    “Homosexuals can’t go out into the heterosexual community and try to recruit people, or try to enlist them in homosexual acts,” Peterson says

    Man, that is really going to hurt GOP outreach.

  13. marinmaven

    Mainstream Montana men are famous for not wanting to quit their sheep and long to "lay down" with them. Sheep are so nervous, most of them are addicted to tranquilizers or hope cowboy puts a little Rohypnol in their feed. So if they classify homosexuality with beastiality aren't they saying being gay is a-okay?

  14. OurHoboSenator

    Rep. Peterson was going to comment on this post, but he got distracted clicking on the "Hiscox" ad on the sidebar…

  15. UpstateYorkee

    "Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it."

    With pick-up lines like that it's no wonder he's not getting any.

  16. GuyClinch

    Hey, this guy is actually pretty reasonable. Almost concedes private behavior is off limits. It's the public stuff that'll get ya! From the article:

    The other offense, in Peterson's legal opinion, is the public display of homosexuality, since he believes the Supreme Court's decision only applies to private acts behind closed doors. Being gay in public, he says, is a wholly different matter:

    "In my mind, if they were engaging in acts in public that could be construed as homosexual, it would violate that statute. It has to be more than affection. It has to be overt homosexual acts of some kind or another… If kissing goes to that extent, yes. If it's more than that, yes."

  17. weejee

    There are some goats sheep up on Brokeback Mountain that would like to testify about Rep. Ken Peterson. Something about a pitiful wide stance and that he's a 60 second man who's foreplay is to simply call out "brace yourself."

  18. anniegetyerfun

    “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it,” Peterson said (really).

    Well, chances are that he has had practice reciting this statement.

  19. Not_So_Much

    I don't think that's his "hormones" that are raging when he talks about hairless young men with six-pack abs and smelling of sweet, sweet Axe. I hope Ken's Hello Kitty underoos are up to the task.

  20. GuanoFaucet

    “‘Here, crazy-pants Peterson, your brain cells are rotting. Let’s go in this padded cell, and we’ll engage in some electro-shock therapy. You’ll find you like it.’”

  21. widestanceroman

    True confession: I did recruit a heterosexual and got the absolute worst BJ ever in the history of the world (whoever said bad head is better than no head never met this guy).

    Lesson learned; no on-the-knob-training offered.

      1. widestanceroman

        Did your uvula grow back?

        [forgive if this appears twice, Int. Deb. stole the first submission]

  22. MistaEko

    If that's how the gays are doing their recruitment, it's no wonder they're actually 4% less of the population than previously estimated.

  23. SheriffRoscoe

    Thank you, legislators, for protecting us from giving into our raging hormones and doing things in the bedroom we might actually like.

  24. Doktor Zoom

    Compare and contrast:

    Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.

    You pulled a tiny petal off my world just when I thought you were to add one but all around is the meadow, where I shall again dance and skip and sing till some fool girl should brush my wing.

    So, who woulda guessed? Julian Assange is marginally better at pitching woo than a Montana homophobe!

    1. mereoblivion

      And I woulda guessed that it's easier to woo a raging young man right ouside a bedroom than a fool girl in a meadow, but one never knows.

  25. neiltheblaze

    This dried up fuck couldn't get a date in a gay bar at last call when everyone not hooked up is completely desperate.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Pretty sure that goes for the parking lot as well (as he slowly, slowly walks to his car).

  26. v572625694

    Ease up on Montana folks. I once had a very enjoyable weekend w/a flight attendant in Billings.

  27. DownFist Troll

    but goat fucking is still legal right? wouldn't want to upset the base by putting big government in peoples barns.

  28. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I know when I was a teenager, and my hormones were raging, I would often get me some gay sex to settle them down. But, if it is against the law, that doesn't make me gay, right?

  29. Weenus299

    Come here, Montantan teenager person, your hormones are raging. Let's go into this gun store and try out some semiautomatics. I think that you will find that you like it.

    Fixed, Murican style.

  30. SheriffRoscoe

    If the definition of "mainstream" is "premature orgasm but it's ok anyway because I was already out of breath due to being fat and out of shape" (and I do believe that definition is current in the United States), then I concur with Mr. Peterson's statement, as I don't associate with mainstream people. And by "associate", I mean "screw."

  31. x111e7thst

    I'm pretty sure I last saw this guy in the old St Marks Baths, pushing his penis through a loophole in the hope that someone would take pity on the tiny fragile thing and engage is some sort of homosexual act with it.

  32. Doktor Zoom

    So at the moment I'm doing online scoring of the essay portion of a certain large state's standardized tests for 4th-graders (hint: a surprising portion of this state's 9 year olds can't spell "San Antonio"). Here is a verbatim sample from an essay I read last night, about a trip to the fair:

    Then we whent to eat. I ate some cotten candy and a pickel and a cock. Then we whent go eat really food We ate sangwish and cock. Then we whent…

    (I think the kid meant "Coke," or maybe "cookies" or "cake.")

    My other favorite was the kid who wrote about visiting the "incest exibet" at the natural history museum, where s/he learned that "not all incest are bad, some are good like ladiebugs."

    (OK, so I'm violating my Nondisclosure Agreement here, but what the hey–if the poindexters who I've contracted with can track me down from this silly post on a warblog, I'll admire their L337 5K1LLZ and I'll go quietly)

    1. unclejeems

      How do they do with public? My grad students often drop the "l". What goes around, comes around.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        That, of course, is just good ol' Spellcheck Fail, which is where we get things like one of my students wrote a couple years back: "The new bride will be four lanes wide, which should eliminate a rush hour bottleneck."

  33. JoshuaNorton

    That dude should be the poster boy for beastiality. I mean if you had a choice between him or a sheep, which way would you go?

    Just look at him. Dayam! That's a whole lotta ugly happening in one place.

  34. Groupshrug

    Sure this guy is an Asshole.

    But can you really say that Gay men don't try to "recruit" straight men? Isn't that like a whole category of gay porn?

    1. widestanceroman

      A gay porn category of seducing straight guys exists (just as there is a category of straight porn that involves getting 2 chicks to go "that way" for the straight guy's enjoyment), but the problem is the use of the word, 'recruit,' as if they were ever after under the control of the predatory homo's agenda.

    2. SheriffRoscoe

      Sure, but it never seems to work. As soon as you get him recruited you realize he wasn't straight in the first place.

      1. AJW@[redacted]

        Hah–I've been trying to recruit a girl for years, and wouldn't you know it, NONE of 'em are straight…

    3. magnetite

      They also get themselves sent to prisons that you could escape by simply walking out via the fourth wall, past the cameras and the fluffers.

    4. neiltheblaze

      There's a whole group of gay guys who think straight men are Prime Grade-A Beef and are willing to risk getting punched in the mouth when they sidle up to them.

      On the other hand, there are a whole group of straight men who find out you're gay and hit on you because they think they're doing you a big favor (Because, they're "real men", and "you know you want it" – and their wives don't understand them – though in reality, they ALWAYS understand them all too well – and "it's not really cheating because you aren't a woman").

      All part of the Rich Pageant that is Sexually Repressed America.

  35. orygoon

    "in the same legal category as bestiality".

    Montana. Sheep/redneck country.

    <scratches head, puzzled>

  36. Guppy06

    "Here, young man, your hormones are raging."

    Oh, I know this song! "It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!"

  37. Doktor Zoom

    Wonkette's Montana Office: It's all about the Buttesecks.

    (Whoot-whoot, in the Butte!)

  38. owhatever

    "Here, young lady, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in my office, and you can engage in some homosexual acts with my hot secretary. You’ll find you like it, and I can take pictures."

  39. DeeJayKitteh

    I was going to say I'm surprised he's not trying to outlaw college based on all the hot girl-on-girl experimentation that's going on…but based on the general level of ignorance in Montana, I think he already has.

  40. hagajim

    It's Montana and they are much more likely to prosecute the gays than the sheep fuckers….simple fact.

  41. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Hey, where is our fisting troll? I would think he couldn't resist a post about closeted gay sex.

  42. ArmoredBore

    Like Lewis Black said, everything would change if we could just stop the dastardly queers. We'd all have solar energy! The Sunnis and the Shiites would lay down their arms!

  43. thefrontpage

    All of the approximately 9 million people estimated to be gay, lesbian or bi-sexual in the United States should immediately move to Montana.

  44. thefrontpage

    This guy better start worrying about the new properties in Montana that were just purchased by Nathan Lane, George Michael, Elton John, Richard Simmons, Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres and Andy Dick.

    1. XOhioan

      Also, someone is wearing an obvious hairpiece. Which young men in Montana might go for, I guess.

  45. hollywooddood

    Why are Repubicans so obsessed with penises and vaginas? Is it in the Constitution?

  46. unclejeems

    No guts, no gays, no glory. If LGBT didn't exist, the wingnuts would have to invent them. I mean, what's a wedge issue for!

  47. BZ1

    Is that picture of a cadaver supposed to be Rep. Ken Peterson (R-Montana)? It does look a little humorless.

  48. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    He spends all of his time staring at the Tetons, and telling himself that is what he really, really wants.

  49. Andrew Drinker

    Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.

    Hey, it worked for Lindsey Graham!

    *sizzle*

  50. Rowdy5000

    You heard it here first, gays: you are still cool and underground. Way to not lose your integrity going mainstream, gays.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      Oh, there's the downfister.

      No fear, I have your back. (Just not in that way.)

  51. ttommyunger

    It has taken me a long time to come to the place where I stop judging people on their appearance. Seeing this asshat's picture is causing me to rethink my position. He looks more gay and confused than a blindfolded Elton John at a weenie roast. Don't know about the hormones, but the "stupid" is definitely raging here.

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