GARBAGE MAN  2:40 pm April 7, 2011

No Trash Pickup In D.C.? Just Put the Garbage On Boehner’s Lawn

by Jack Stuef

Speaker John Boehner is ready to shut down the government, including DC city services like trash collection.

Well, if he won’t allow us to use OUR TAX DOLLARS to pick it up, maybe we should just BRING IT TO HIM.

Makes sense. But you people are forgetting John Boehner grew up in a den of garbage and soiled diapers and this will just make him feel more at home. [Facebook via Wonkette operative "Nolan T."]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Barbara_i April 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Good luck getting past his fort of empty Kleenex boxes.

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 2:46 pm

I think only if your dog's name is Anthrax.
So go for it!

OC_7.1 Quake_Serf April 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

"DC trash collection" should be done with paddywagons, starting on capital hill…

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Could they do one last HUGE pick up on Friday? You know, starting with that Republican trash…

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Wait, the Washington government isn't shutting down, just the feds; why would trash collection, a city service, stop?

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Because DC exists in a state of perpetual political limbo thanks to it's unique legal status?

finallyhappy April 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

yes, the DC libraries will close and there will be no parking tickets given out(but police will work so limit your illegal activities to parking in a no-parking zone)

Sharkey April 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Just don't block the entrance to my alley.

haleymonet April 7, 2011 at 3:14 pm

It's the same story for all the museums in the area as well. And since it's cherry blossom season, this is going to be a huge problem for the area's tourism industry. Sadface.

Cicada April 7, 2011 at 4:32 pm

We pay our local taxes, but Congress controls whether they're disbursed to pay for the District's services. It's awesome. And by awesome, I mean totally and completely fucked.

But hey, I'm sure all the sanitation workers and other "non-essential" municipal employees will make ends meet somehow. And the rest of us get to play in garbage piles!

Sharkey April 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Wow, I didn't know that. Meh, it should be okay for a week or so, kinda like snowmaggedon where no one could drive all week. After that first week, it's really gonna suck.

GuyClinch April 7, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Yep, and the cunty GOP leadership put a freshly-minted House teabagger Trey Gowdy (Teatard-SC) in charge of the subcommittee that oversees DC. Klassy move!

Badonkadonkette April 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Imagine all those people walking by John Boehner's lawn and wondering "What the heck?"

widestanceroman April 7, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Please dump off wine bottles with exactly 1/5th of a swig in each one, so we can watch him try and try, like a bear cub in a honey pot.

glamourdammerung April 7, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Is "swig" a slang term for urine that I am not familiar with?

KeepFnThatChicken April 8, 2011 at 3:09 pm

a swig is a swallow. You must be southern to understand.

glamourdammerung April 8, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I am aware of that, just as everyone is probably aware of what "presents" I would leave in a wine bottle in Boehner's front yard.

mrblifil April 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Actually this is counter-intuitive, as Boehner has a surprisingly "green" political philosophy. Very few people have done so much to recycle 16-year old failed conservative tactics. Hey, 16 years! That's the same age as his favorite ball-washing caddy!

nounverb911 April 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I already mail my dead fluorescent bulbs to my congressman, let him deal with the hazardous waste.

freakishlywrong April 7, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Where does crazy Shelly live? I'm bloated and getting cramps and we're not supposed to flush those anyway.

finallyhappy April 7, 2011 at 3:13 pm

If I knew wher Cantor or Boehner lived- I might just pick up the trash from someone in DC and put it in their trash cans.

Hatrabbit April 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

That's a shame since the amount of white trash rolling around D.C. was just starting to taper off with the teapartiers getting all bored or something.

walstib April 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Where does he live in DC?


I'm willing to hop on a plane and poop on his stoop.

GuyClinch April 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I've gotta think that most of the GOP "leadership" doesn't actually live in DC, since it's so very, very urban. They probably live out in Fairfax County, esp. McLean, VA, where terrible Newt Gingrich and a bunch of other amoral rich white crackers live. The Repugs always treat DC with contempt, so why would they shit in their own nest? (David Vitter excepted, of course)

JoeBiteme April 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Actually, I think Boner does live on the Hill, but McLean Family Restaurant (Yes, I'm serious) is always a favorite with Newt, Go Pat Go and other douche bags of yesteryear…

Cicada April 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I'm not going to post his address, but he lives on the Hill. I'm sure the FB group will give meet-up info if the shut-down happens.

MiniMencken April 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Now he's really gonna have something to cry about!

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Maybe Speaker Drunky McNicotineStain should have taken this into account when he contributed to winding up the crazies and turning them loose in order to get where he is.
Now he and the rest of the House Republiklans have to own what they did. It will be more humorous to see the debate on raising the debt ceiling.

Beowoof April 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

I am almost ready to drive from upstate New York to Washington to throw some trash on his lawn. I think I will bring chicken wing bones.

Cicada April 7, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Ladies and gentlemen: The inner thoughts of a blancmange on valium.

neiltheblaze April 8, 2011 at 6:45 am

So haleymonet is Peggy Noonan is what you're saying.

Gopherit April 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm

You dump garbage on his lawn he is going to cry again.

Jerri April 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm

He's going to cry no matter what. To paraphrase my grandpa, may as well give him something to cry about.

Gorillionaire April 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm

His lawn is probably 75% cig butts anyway.

Callyson April 7, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Aw, I'm jealous: I live too far away to contribute to this worthy cause. Locals, please dump off an extra trashcan for those of us on the West Coast…

donner_froh April 8, 2011 at 12:22 am

It's supposed to be in the 70s in DC by the on Sunday and Monday. Those piles of ripped black trash bags are going to get pretty ripe.

poncho_pilot April 8, 2011 at 4:39 am

are there a lot of urban raccoons or opossums in DC? barring anything mean being done to them, they could be an interesting ally in this crusade.

smashaduck April 8, 2011 at 9:20 am

Only seen one opossum but our rats are bigger than most raccoons. There's a joke in there somewhere but I've hit the bong a few times already.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Um… "and not all the rats have four legs?" Best I can do at this early hour.

neiltheblaze April 8, 2011 at 6:43 am

I don't see why Republicans can't all commit mass suicide and make the world a better fucking place.

NorthStarSpanx April 8, 2011 at 11:25 am

Typical of bleeding heart socialist liberals, aiding and abetting the enemy.

This is just like Hawaii's emergent care services applying its socialist life-saving skills to a real life Animal Farm character like Rush Limbaugh suffering from cardiac distress.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:31 pm

"a real life Animal Farm character like Rush Limbaugh"


hagajim April 8, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Being as I am on the wrong side of the country to leave Mr. Boehner anything…..can I get a Wonketeer to leave him a big steaming pile in my name? Thanks in advance.

chunchy April 9, 2011 at 1:58 pm

if you take your garbage to Boehner's yard, let us take all the aborted baby fecies and dump them on Reid's front yard., afterall ithey are considered trash

Bowmanave April 9, 2011 at 11:44 pm

We tried living without trash service for a while, but I found it too much of a hassle and the savings negligible. It's easier to save money in other areas. Where we live, trash service is billed every three months at $45; that works out to about 50 cents a day. That's worth it to me!

alaninthecastro April 10, 2011 at 2:15 pm

No family planning services in DC? Dump your aborted fetuses on John Boehner's lawn.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: