RICK'S LIST  2:47 pm April 7, 2011

Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo

by Ken Layne

Dumbass.One day you’re bringing home six figures from CNN, the next day you’re unemployed and apologizing to the fucking Jews and trying to figure out how to get paid from Twitter. That is the complete Wikipedia entry for Rick Sanchez, the dumbest anchorman since Ron Burgundy. And now, for reasons we cannot even begin to fathom, Rick has hired a New York publicity firm to send emails to our former morning editor (a Jew) about Sanchez posting something banal on Huffington Post about something Rick saw in a Jewish publication.

If you’re going to hire a publicist, maybe don’t hire a publicist that will bizarrely send “story ideas” and interview pitches to a vicious political satire site that has published dozens and dozens of vicious attacks on Rick Sanchez, for being dumb.

But, who are we to decide how the big-money Republicans are supposed to spend their money? Anyway:

From: ____@5wpr.com
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date :Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Subject Porn Pays Politicians – Uncovered by Rick Sanchez, former CNN Host

Wonkette
Mr. Josh Fruhlinger
Via Email: tips@wonkette.com

Dear Josh:

Rick Sanchez, former CNN host, picked up on a story that no one seems to be following. Perhaps it is not a big deal, but a known pornography provider – and pirated porn as well – is a donor to Congressmen Cantor and Weiner and to the Republican National Committee

Can I interest you in looking further and even talking to Rick?

Thanks

______

Perhaps it is not a big deal? You’re not really selling the story here!

What follows this email is the text of something Rick Sanchez has posted to Huffington Post — anyone can post anything to Huffington Post. It’s about some dumb article in The Forward about some sleazebag somewhere who donates money to politicians like any sleazebag might do. That’s it! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s edition of “Rick’s List,” when Sanchez will leave weird comments on some kid’s YouTube video of “Lego History” or whatever.

Anyway, we sent this to lazy Josh Fruhlinger (who is a few months late with his latest Cartoon Violence column!), and Josh wrote back, “Wait, Rick Sanchez is writing for the JEW-CONTROLLED MEDIA???? There’s your story right there.” And then we said, No, Rick Sanchez has simply linked to the Jew-Controlled Media. And then Josh was all, “That’s gotta be the most depressing/unrewarding publicist job ever, trying to publicize Rick Sanchez’s sad content-aggregation hobby.”

 
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{ 73 comments }

undeterredbyreality April 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Dirty, dirty, dirty Sanchez…

Rosie_Scenario April 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Porn libel.

baconzgood April 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I'm "libel" to watch some porn.

738838 April 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Sanchez/Fruhlinger 2012

weejee April 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Fruhlinger/Sanchez 2012

FIXED

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Sanchez/Mel Gibson 2012

Texan_Bulldog April 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Ron Burgundy deeply resents that comparison. Any of the Fox bobble heads would qualify, though.

EdFlintstone April 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The worst part of the story according to Sanchez, was that the porn was jew porn, AKA the hedgehog Ron Jeremy.

DownFist Troll April 7, 2011 at 3:08 pm

That man is a living god. An ugly god, but a god nonetheless.

bureaucrap April 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Ron Burgundy is fictional. Perhaps Rick Sanchez might consider doing the same; it might be a good career move for him.

Ken Layne April 7, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I lived in San Diego in the 1980s, and I interned at the local NBC affiliate's newsroom. Ron Burgundy is NOT fictional.

Lucidamente1 April 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I thought it was Ron Hunter.

emmelemm April 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Art imitating life FTW.

waitforsugar April 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

"Can I interest you in looking further and even talking to Rick?" Nope, not even about porn.

WordSaladNation April 7, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I don't mean to go all "middle school English teacher" on this publicist, but this sentence is a mess:

Perhaps it is not a big deal, but a known pornography provider – and pirated porn as well – is a donor to Congressmen Cantor and Weiner and to the Republican National Committee.

He should have written something like this:

Perhaps it is not pertinent to the plot, but a provider of pirated porn is a patron of political poopnozzles.

Goonemeritus April 7, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Me thinks he talk pretty.

Lucidamente1 April 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm

As long as he agrees to have himself tasered regularly, I'm ok with it.

baconzgood April 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Sanchez pirate porn? Kinky! This is exactly the kinda story us Wonkers want!!! Why the FUCK did you pass?

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:33 pm

What is pirate porn anyway? The male role has a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder?

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Wow. That received a downfist? Someone truly lives a bitter existence.

baconzgood April 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm

"BLOW ME DOWN" Need I say more matey? ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!

La_Cieca April 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Well, matey, you can start with a little ARRRR-al, then we'll be seein' what ensues.

Guppy06 April 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Lots of lusty wenches in heaving bodices. Basically,film versions of your typical trashy "romance" novel.

Negropolis April 8, 2011 at 1:20 am

A peg leg, eh? Sounds kinky. Just think of what you could do with a peg leg…

Ms Whatever April 11, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Um, amputation fetish porn exists. google at your own peril.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:48 pm

"What is pirate porn anyway?"

Well, it's a certain *kind* of pirate…

Giveusabob April 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm

5WPR? You mean Ron(n) Torossian's wacky promo company? Well, it makes sense, really. http://gawker.com/#!5375465/ronn-sic-torossian-
Besides that, what's up with the HuffPo going Bizarro World on us? First Breitbart and now Sanchez?

LocalGirlMakesGoo April 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I'm guessing the AOL merger?

CrunchyKnee April 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Pirate porn!!!???!!!111!!one! Yaaar.

738838 April 7, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Captain Pissgums and his pervert pirates.

FNMA April 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I've always wondered what "shiver me timbers" meant.

Barbara_i April 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Ass Pirates of the Caribbean?

prommie April 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Arrrr, where be my wenches? Its time to divide the booty!

mrblifil April 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Ferret around in a pornographers dealings long enough, of course you're going to find some Weiner.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

You all are too critical. At least Rick is staying with something he understands: porn.

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

"I grew up not speaking English, dealing with real prejudice every day as a kid; watching my dad work in a factory, wash dishes, drive a truck, get spit on. I’ve been told that I can’t do certain things in life simply because I was a Hispanic."

I would think someone with such a childhood might be a bit less of a bigot… but alas, again the joke is on me for having hope in humankind.

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

After Rick Sanchez is done blowing the lid off the whole "legal political contributions" scandal, maybe he can investigate the questionable behavior of the traffic light down the street, which regularly turns from green to yellow then red before starting all over again. Perhaps it is no big deal.

poncho_pilot April 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

pirate porn? arrr. it's driving me nuts.

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 3:07 pm

I only go to movies that are Rated… ARRR!

poncho_pilot April 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Ron Johnson (Arrrr-WI)

sati_demise April 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm

No complaining or you get to walk the plank

ShaveTheWhales April 8, 2011 at 12:36 am

Where's it driving them?

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Oh no, someone involved in a legal portion of our entertainment industry that the professional puritanical prudes disapprove of may have donated money to politicians, how awful.

freakishlywrong April 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Wait. What? Arianna Huffington is doing pirated porn with Jews and dumb, twittering anchormen and their weiners? On CNN?

Badonkadonkette April 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Wow, dude, Rick Sanchez panhandling for media attention is actually the most pathetic thing I've seen in a while. I actually feel sorry for hi-ah, nope. Nope. No I don't.

DownFist Troll April 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm

You know who else hated the Jews and liked pirate themed porn?

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Long John Himmler?

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Mel Gibson?

Barbara_i April 7, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Yay! The downfister hates porn.

ManchuCandidate April 7, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Especially porn without animals.

poncho_pilot April 7, 2011 at 3:17 pm

but he loves Jesus. he's probably the one dfing me on the bible post.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

He is probably upset that none of the links lead to pictures of little boys.

edgydrifter April 7, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Investigating links between porn and Congress is like swinging a bat in a pinata factory. You're going to connect with something, guaranteed.

finallyhappy April 7, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I remember when the Forward was in Yiddish-Rick Sanchez couldn't have used that Jewish controlled medium(plus the stories were not about porn)

Hatrabbit April 7, 2011 at 3:11 pm

You might wanna pull out yr jazz flute Rick: "Little Ham 'n Eggs comin' at ya, hold on people hope ya got your griddles"

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

So Sanchez is blogging for the HuffPo now; he's not just an antisemite, he's also a scab.

KeepFnThatChicken April 7, 2011 at 3:14 pm

"Can I interest you in [...] talking to Rick?"

FUCK no. And you can forward this anywhere.

Come here a minute April 7, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Rick Sanchez
I put flowers on Algernon's grave today.
5 minutes ago.

Chillwaver April 7, 2011 at 3:19 pm

HuffPo still exists? Didn't Zsa Zsa Huffington sell it to the Tea Party's official internet provider?

fuflans April 7, 2011 at 3:20 pm

well at least we don't have to look at scott walker's crossed and beady eyes for this particular story.

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Rick Sanchez's next big tip? Charlie Sheen likes to party.

Weenus299 April 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Has he been pepper sprayed yet? Waterboarded? I'd pay him a nickel to see Shit Done To Rick Sanchez.

Gopherit April 7, 2011 at 5:21 pm

He could probably get some ad revenue from youtube for that. Sorta like an upscale version of Bumfights.

XOhioan April 7, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Rick Sanchez is the new Associated Content. Google's going to have to add a " and NOT "Rick Sanchez" to their search algorithm.

GeoffPeterson April 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I'm Rick Sanchez?

Guppy06 April 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

You down with that jive?

Gopherit April 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Rick is missing his calling. He needs to call up Johnny Knoxville and do a newsy political version of Jackass.

MinAgain April 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I kinda like the idea of pirate porn.

sati_demise April 7, 2011 at 7:38 pm

and a bottle of rum.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I want my pirate porn screen name to be Treasure Chest.

lulzmonger April 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm

HuffPo just got Rickrolled.
Too late?

Negropolis April 8, 2011 at 1:10 am

Bad, bad Sanchez. Dirty Sanchez…

…the dumbest anchorman since Ron Burgundy.

Bret Baier begs to differ, Ken. Also, even though she's a host, Megyn Kelly. Also.

What's more annoying, Mormon missionaries, or Rick Sanchez whoring for attention?

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:50 pm

And Turkish prisons?

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