Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo

  rick's list

Dumbass.One day you’re bringing home six figures from CNN, the next day you’re unemployed and apologizing to the fucking Jews and trying to figure out how to get paid from Twitter. That is the complete Wikipedia entry for Rick Sanchez, the dumbest anchorman since Ron Burgundy. And now, for reasons we cannot even begin to fathom, Rick has hired a New York publicity firm to send emails to our former morning editor (a Jew) about Sanchez posting something banal on Huffington Post about something Rick saw in a Jewish publication.

If you’re going to hire a publicist, maybe don’t hire a publicist that will bizarrely send “story ideas” and interview pitches to a vicious political satire site that has published dozens and dozens of vicious attacks on Rick Sanchez, for being dumb.

But, who are we to decide how the big-money Republicans are supposed to spend their money? Anyway:

From: ____@5wpr.com
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date :Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Subject Porn Pays Politicians – Uncovered by Rick Sanchez, former CNN Host

Wonkette
Mr. Josh Fruhlinger
Via Email: tips@wonkette.com

Dear Josh:

Rick Sanchez, former CNN host, picked up on a story that no one seems to be following. Perhaps it is not a big deal, but a known pornography provider – and pirated porn as well – is a donor to Congressmen Cantor and Weiner and to the Republican National Committee

Can I interest you in looking further and even talking to Rick?

Thanks

______

Perhaps it is not a big deal? You’re not really selling the story here!

What follows this email is the text of something Rick Sanchez has posted to Huffington Post — anyone can post anything to Huffington Post. It’s about some dumb article in The Forward about some sleazebag somewhere who donates money to politicians like any sleazebag might do. That’s it! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s edition of “Rick’s List,” when Sanchez will leave weird comments on some kid’s YouTube video of “Lego History” or whatever.

Anyway, we sent this to lazy Josh Fruhlinger (who is a few months late with his latest Cartoon Violence column!), and Josh wrote back, “Wait, Rick Sanchez is writing for the JEW-CONTROLLED MEDIA???? There’s your story right there.” And then we said, No, Rick Sanchez has simply linked to the Jew-Controlled Media. And then Josh was all, “That’s gotta be the most depressing/unrewarding publicist job ever, trying to publicize Rick Sanchez’s sad content-aggregation hobby.”

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

73 comments

  1. Texan_Bulldog

    Ron Burgundy deeply resents that comparison. Any of the Fox bobble heads would qualify, though.

  2. EdFlintstone

    The worst part of the story according to Sanchez, was that the porn was jew porn, AKA the hedgehog Ron Jeremy.

  3. bureaucrap

    Ron Burgundy is fictional. Perhaps Rick Sanchez might consider doing the same; it might be a good career move for him.

  4. waitforsugar

    "Can I interest you in looking further and even talking to Rick?" Nope, not even about porn.

  5. WordSaladNation

    I don't mean to go all "middle school English teacher" on this publicist, but this sentence is a mess:

    Perhaps it is not a big deal, but a known pornography provider – and pirated porn as well – is a donor to Congressmen Cantor and Weiner and to the Republican National Committee.

    He should have written something like this:

    Perhaps it is not pertinent to the plot, but a provider of pirated porn is a patron of political poopnozzles.

  6. baconzgood

    Sanchez pirate porn? Kinky! This is exactly the kinda story us Wonkers want!!! Why the FUCK did you pass?

    1. GOPCrusher

      What is pirate porn anyway? The male role has a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder?

      1. Guppy06

        Lots of lusty wenches in heaving bodices. Basically,film versions of your typical trashy "romance" novel.

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You all are too critical. At least Rick is staying with something he understands: porn.

  8. DaRooster

    "I grew up not speaking English, dealing with real prejudice every day as a kid; watching my dad work in a factory, wash dishes, drive a truck, get spit on. I’ve been told that I can’t do certain things in life simply because I was a Hispanic."

    I would think someone with such a childhood might be a bit less of a bigot… but alas, again the joke is on me for having hope in humankind.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    After Rick Sanchez is done blowing the lid off the whole "legal political contributions" scandal, maybe he can investigate the questionable behavior of the traffic light down the street, which regularly turns from green to yellow then red before starting all over again. Perhaps it is no big deal.

  10. SorosBot

    Oh no, someone involved in a legal portion of our entertainment industry that the professional puritanical prudes disapprove of may have donated money to politicians, how awful.

  11. freakishlywrong

    Wait. What? Arianna Huffington is doing pirated porn with Jews and dumb, twittering anchormen and their weiners? On CNN?

  12. Badonkadonkette

    Wow, dude, Rick Sanchez panhandling for media attention is actually the most pathetic thing I've seen in a while. I actually feel sorry for hi-ah, nope. Nope. No I don't.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      He is probably upset that none of the links lead to pictures of little boys.

  13. edgydrifter

    Investigating links between porn and Congress is like swinging a bat in a pinata factory. You're going to connect with something, guaranteed.

  14. finallyhappy

    I remember when the Forward was in Yiddish-Rick Sanchez couldn't have used that Jewish controlled medium(plus the stories were not about porn)

  15. Hatrabbit

    You might wanna pull out yr jazz flute Rick: "Little Ham 'n Eggs comin' at ya, hold on people hope ya got your griddles"

  16. SorosBot

    So Sanchez is blogging for the HuffPo now; he's not just an antisemite, he's also a scab.

  17. KeepFnThatChicken

    "Can I interest you in [...] talking to Rick?"

    FUCK no. And you can forward this anywhere.

  18. Chillwaver

    HuffPo still exists? Didn't Zsa Zsa Huffington sell it to the Tea Party's official internet provider?

  19. fuflans

    well at least we don't have to look at scott walker's crossed and beady eyes for this particular story.

  20. Weenus299

    Has he been pepper sprayed yet? Waterboarded? I'd pay him a nickel to see Shit Done To Rick Sanchez.

    1. Gopherit

      He could probably get some ad revenue from youtube for that. Sorta like an upscale version of Bumfights.

  21. XOhioan

    Rick Sanchez is the new Associated Content. Google's going to have to add a " and NOT "Rick Sanchez" to their search algorithm.

  22. Gopherit

    Rick is missing his calling. He needs to call up Johnny Knoxville and do a newsy political version of Jackass.

  23. Negropolis

    Bad, bad Sanchez. Dirty Sanchez…

    …the dumbest anchorman since Ron Burgundy.

    Bret Baier begs to differ, Ken. Also, even though she's a host, Megyn Kelly. Also.

    What's more annoying, Mormon missionaries, or Rick Sanchez whoring for attention?

Comments are closed.