WISCONSIN  2:08 pm April 7, 2011

GOP Lobbyist’s Drunken Loser Kid Resigns Sweet Job Walker Gave Him

by Ken Layne

This magazine is due for a redesign!The short, meteoric rise of some drunken loser flunk-out has come to an end, despite his dad being a wealthy GOP construction-industry lobbyist who demanded Scott Walker’s new administration hire up all the rich white Republican drunken loser flunk-out kids at $81,500 annual salaries. Brian Deschane, 27, was given the sweet job because his daddy gave Scott Walker $121,000 to run for governor. But then the mean old liberal newspaper wrote about young Deschane and his two DUI convictions that not even his daddy could make go away with a check to the judge, and then the socialists all started blogging it, and then Deschane got a demotion back to his previous sweet job, making $64,728 a year, also for nothing more than being the unemployable result of one of Scott Walker’s corporate donors ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago.

And now, the adult-child has “resigned” from this job, probably because the Wisconsin Builders Association has had just about all the terrible publicity they’re willing to take from the slacker son of a guy hired to advance their interests, not turn their dumb corporate newsletter into a punchline on Wonkette.

The Journal Sentinel reports on this controversy that is all the fault of a dirty Milwaukee newspaper for people who don’t share the values of the minority of Wisconsin voters who don’t live in the state’s population centers:

The 27-year-old son of a prominent supporter of Gov. Scott Walker resigned from his state government job following public criticism over his appointment to an $81,500-per-year job in the Walker administration, sources said Thursday. Brian Deschane submitted his resignation letter to officials at the state Department of Commerce, where he had been named administrator of environmental and regulatory matters in February.

It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion. A directory of Department of Regulation and Licensing employees shows that Secretary Dave Ross filled Deschane’s post after he left.

And that’s the last we’ll hear of Brian Deschane … until he reaches age 30 and is eligible to run for the U.S. Senate. [Journal Sentinel]

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Monsieur_Grumpe April 7, 2011 at 2:10 pm


Tundra Grifter April 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Who does that kid think he is, the Governor of Alaska?

widestanceroman April 7, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Did he quit quit, or just change his priorities like Palin (per McCain)?

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:34 pm

He quit so he could spend less time with his family.

x111e7thst April 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm

A lucrative career awaits – either on Faux Newz or on that dancing thing on the TV set.

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Sounds like toilet rats jumping off a sinking ship.

Tundra Grifter April 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

So The Lucky Sperm Club lost a charter member?

Angry_Marmot April 7, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Squirrel headed son of a bitch still makes more than I do as a union thug/socialist bully.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:35 pm

"Squirrel headed son of a bitch"

This? Poetry, sheer poetry.

Lost_Teabaggers April 8, 2011 at 1:31 am

Yes…it's a sad day for nominally unemployable, functionally illiterate offspring of extreme overprivilege everywhere. Just when they felt like to coast was clear after the latest one managed to somehow become President of all white inbred rednecks/corporate buttpluggers and his essential incompetence ruined the world…but alas, the socialists, they do not forget and so now we must avail ourselves upon such greivous loss to humanity and the world…tither it twould be lacrimous were this man-child, this two-legged walrus bereft of his divine birth-right to ruin the world, but alas young man! ye ith but 27, time doth remain! Gather thine strength and volumnous fat…hope remains. (Next up for fatty…date rape convinction)

randcoolcatdaddy April 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Sadly, I'm sure this is only the tip of the iceberg in just one state. Republicans are fighting for smaller government all over the country by populating government with lackeys that will ensure that government doesn't work at all.

Swampgas_Man April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

If you can't starve the beast, sodomize it to death.

poncho_pilot April 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

sounds like a Judas Priest album title.

horsedreamer_1 April 7, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Rob Halford: [comes]

finallyhappy April 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Today, we heard the GOP wants government just small enough to look into your bedroom and your uterus.

LeAlbatross April 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

That's how aristocracy works: nepotism and contempt for the governed. The GOP has been aiming for that for years. Goodness knows they have the second part down cold.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] April 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

And the unemployment numbers go up yet again. This is all Obama's fault!

memzilla April 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Sunlight is the strongest disinfectant. The Journal-Sentinel is Janitor In A Drum. Which might be Deschane's next job, appropriately enough.

Angry_Marmot April 7, 2011 at 6:48 pm

"Next week, it's your turn in the barrel."

Rotundo_ April 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

First of all, The Journal-Sentinel is *not* a liberal paper. It caters to the nice suburban folks *around* Milwaukee. There are some real journalists there, but the editorial board is cut from the same cloth as Scooter. The fact that *they* took note of the cronyism is mute testimony of how bad it is. As for the kid, he is "falling downward to his SIXTY THOUSAND AND CHANGE former job which he wasn't qualified for either. So no one really got more than embarrassed here. But that much was as good as it gets 'til next year.

ShaveTheWhales April 7, 2011 at 9:35 pm

When I lived in Wisconsin (which stopped being the case some forty years ago), the evening Journal was pretty well-rounded and sorta left -leaning (at the time; more like really left-leaning these days). The morning Sentinel was much thinner journalistically, and also much more conservative.

Did the smaller 2nd rate paper eated the larger better paper, or what?

horsedreamer_1 April 7, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Journal Communications bought the Sentinel from Hearst — that ownership of the former morning daily explaining the retrograde neo-conservatism — several decades ago, & over time the two papers coalesced into one shitastic melange of Liebermannia.

crybabyboehner April 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Where is his birf certificate?

neiltheblaze April 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

This is giving cynical pay-back cronyism a black eye.

Chillwaver April 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

"Beam me up, Scottie"

weejee April 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Dad looks like he's been spending too much time trying to get Boner's orange glow. Speaking of Boner, should we be sending the Speaker some hankies as this event will likely start his fountain just before his teatarded frosh tell him to stuff any budget compromise right up hiz ass.

KeepFnThatChicken April 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Fucking quitter. Maybe he should apply for the position of Todd's wife.

freakishlywrong April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

His co-workers would have made his life a living hell, I know I would have.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Can't you still?

Chillwaver April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I could've sworn it was Gene Hackman for a sec…

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Randy Quaid…

4TheTurnstiles April 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Popeye Doyle wouldn't put up with a dumbshit like Walker.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I'll take the job!

Even the $64,728 a year one!

Willing and happy to relocate to WI. Where do I sign?

Giveusabob April 7, 2011 at 2:43 pm

There's a minimum requirement on DUIs for this position. Are you sure you're WI Department of Commerce material, punk?

Giveusabob April 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Hurray! I got a downfister! (P.S. To clear any confusion, I was including myself in the salutation "Punk," too. It's on my business card even.)

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:18 pm


Hatrabbit April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

"One of Scott Walker’s corporate donor’s ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago." … with his eyes!

weejee April 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Can we find a yentl to match him up with Bristol? Brian & Bristol haz to be a match made in heavin'.

prommie April 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

He could go to work for a non-profit as "Ambassador" of an anti-drunk driving campaign, starting salary for that gig is way better, almost twice what he made at the higher-paying job. I heard the going rate is $162,000.00 a year.

OneDollarJuana April 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

AND you get a nice house in the Phoenix suburbs1

Hatrabbit April 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Tough break Kid.

But I'm sure you can pull yourself up by your Daddy's bootstraps.

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm

What does the spawn of a wealthy oligarch have to do to get a job despite lacking qualifications? Now all he has is probably a measly little multimillion dollar trust fund.

samsuncle April 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

His future plans include knocking up some poor girl and then being a paid spokeman for an abstinence group.

GeneralLerong April 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

He's got a gig on Dancing With the Stars, also a line on a sweet tract home in Arizona.

DownFist Troll April 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Hey, i'm in my late 20s, and i'm frequently drunk, can i have this job? Sure, i've never been convicted of anything, and my dad isn't a lobbyist. But i'm willing to learn and pretend that there's nothing wrong with nepotism and that Austrian school economics work.

Lucidamente1 April 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"Deschane": isn't that French for "jackhole?"

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm

He's not resigning in disgrace, he's just leaving his position so he can have more time to spend embarrassing his family.

OkieDokieDog April 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm

I'm sure there's a local FOX channel that needs a drunken ne're-do-well to report on local stuff like maybe where the cops are going to be having a drunk driver check-point.

Edit to add left out word. I'm not drunk, I'm just giddy from all this (hilarious) drama.

politics_nerd April 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

pretty sure its Pawlenty

ManchuCandidate April 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm

The moral of this story: Unqualified at any salary.

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm

It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion.

Really, showing a modicum of personal shame is a level of integrity the teabaggers were supposed to have transcended. Obviously Mr. Deschane was some sort of liberal Muslim plant.

horsedreamer_1 April 7, 2011 at 11:20 pm

liberal Muslin plant


memzilla April 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

MJ-S: "But [Deschane's] father said he doesn't believe his group's financial support of [Scott Walker} led to his son's state job or promotion…"

Tone-deaf, arrogant, self-entitled crony b**tards pwned by librul big-city newspaper that probably doesn't even have a pork belly prices column.

PocketsTheClown April 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm

That guy was exponentially stimulating the economy, guys, seriously. Car repair, attorney fees, booze, petroleum products. It was trickling down! Hold on! DUBBLEDIP

Come here a minute April 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Let's make a deal — the kid stays and Walker resigns.

CrunchyKnee April 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

There's always white conservative rap to consider.

Steverino247 April 7, 2011 at 2:31 pm

"…one of Scott Walker’s corporate donor’s ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago…"

You say that like it's a bad thing.

freakishlywrong April 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

It's more of gross thing.

JoshuaNorton April 7, 2011 at 2:31 pm

That guy standing next to Walker is only 27? That must been one helluva bender leading up to that DUI.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:42 pm

WHAT?? 27? I missed that part. If he's not every minute of 50, he either lives on Three Mile Island, or there's a portrait in his attic that looks *really good*.

chascates April 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Once he finds Jesus the kid can start running for public office.

fartknocker April 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Maybe Brian can make a rap video like the two young, hip Teatards at Dartmouth. I hope his golden parachute is bigger than the little umbrella I get with my Pina Colada at TGIMcFunsters.

On a completely different note, Scott Walker is really having a shitty week.

widestanceroman April 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Resignation letters written on cocktail napkins must be notarized before submission.

Troubledog April 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Which is sadder? Another half-term unemployed quitter bureaucrat with troubling ethical complications? Or the fact that I had that in the pool?

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Are you M. Night Shamalammadingdong, because I did not see that twist coming that you threw in at the end of that post.

Troubledog April 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

I read in New York magazine where the ironically self-deprecating non sequitur is the next big thing. All the cool kids are doing it.

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 4:51 pm

So it's like drinking PBR?

weejee April 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Either that or their septic system is backing up.

baconzgood April 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I guess it looked kinda bad. Slashing Unions then giving a donor’s son a sweet job where all he has to do is scratch his ass and show up sober between 8am and 11am.

SorosBot April 7, 2011 at 2:46 pm

He may have had some trouble with that last part.

Lucidamente1 April 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

He's not resigning, he's transitioning off.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm


MistaEko April 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Brian Deschane
Born on a Fridee
Flunked out Saturdee
Drunk on Sundee
Coattailed Mondee
Liability on Tuesdee
Demoted on Wednesdee
Resigned on Thursdee
And that was the end of Brian Deschane

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I wouldn't want to be on the streets of Madison tonight.

poncho_pilot April 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

new favorite for today!!! hahahaha.

SmutBoffin April 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Jesus, would I sound like a dork if I said that this WI stuff is way more exciting than that sport with the balls where they throw and catch the balls and also there is a basket?

Cicada April 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Scrotum Toss? I love that game!

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Look at it this way, he is now as qualified as GW Bush to be President of the United States.

Trannysurprise April 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Sounds like he's a good candidate for the Sarah Palin School of Government.

mrblifil April 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Let's save some more money and call off the suicide watch.

FraAnima April 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Ha ha, loser. Another DUI tonight, I bet.

DaRooster April 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

"It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion…"

Everyone knows that is how spoiled brat spawn react when things don't go their way… even though I am sure it was due to his own incompetence… you would NEVER get them to admit that though.

widestanceroman April 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

If Walker is so damn fond of this kid, why doesn't he just hire him as a chauffeur?

Jerri April 7, 2011 at 2:54 pm

He didn't resign out of shame. He resigned so he could spend more time at home with his booze.

(Also: "Liberal"Journal Sentinel. Good one, Ken).

Ken Layne April 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Hahahahah. Everything's "liberal" when you're a crook on the run.

horsedreamer_1 April 7, 2011 at 11:24 pm

What I love is that goons like Pudding-Ring Mc Ilheran — Christian name: Patrick (obviously, a filthy, 'tater munching Irishman Papist intent on bringing down America) — & Charlie Sykes who write for the Journal-Sentinel &/or work for its radio arm (WTMJ-AM) propagate the lie of the JS's unrelenting socialism.

Jerri April 8, 2011 at 7:16 am

Well that's true. Still, it's a funny thought all the same.

PeaceWithHonor April 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Oh shit, hide the meth.

fuflans April 7, 2011 at 3:11 pm

i actually feel kind of sorry for the kid…

oh, wait, no, no i don't at all.

AJW@[redacted] April 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

No doubt a sweet severence package, though.

whiterabid April 7, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Two DUI's? What's the big deal? I thought that was about average for cheeseheads.

GOPCrusher April 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Scott Walker should probably get used to this. For the remaining nine months of his political career, everyone will be watching everything he does.

NorthStarSpanx April 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I so love that this is defining T-Paw's race.

owhatever April 7, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Great excuse to go out and get drunk.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum April 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm

But does he have the necessary vomiting skills?

Angry_Marmot April 7, 2011 at 6:47 pm

If he'd gotten the pictures, he'd have been set for life.

MinAgain April 7, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Danka schoen, DuSchane. You were fun while you lasted.

Rotundo_ April 7, 2011 at 8:48 pm

The first requirement of being a commentator is to show up in shape to comment with regularity. With a couple DUI citations, Fox had better line up a strong bunch of stand in hosts to cover for Drunky McToobafor Junior's antics.

Rotundo_ April 7, 2011 at 8:56 pm

If you are willing to leave your good paying job (chuckles knowing those have been shipped off to the south for half pay or China for less) to join McDonalds for 39 hour weeks so you can't get insurance, yup. Unless you're over the magic age of 40 years in which case if you're unemployed your best option usually involves firing a bullet in your head. There is a pretty brisk business being done by funeral service providers for low cost final care these days. One epidemic that the news folks who are cheering the teabaggers on don't really report about much.

lulzmonger April 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm

He did the right thing = RINO!

horsedreamer_1 April 7, 2011 at 11:25 pm

He'll be making 100k at the Heritage Foundation within six weeks, so don't cry for Brian.

tessiee April 8, 2011 at 1:33 pm

OK, I don't drink…
How about we compromise, and I get a job as a do-nothing loser fuckup, but for only $50K a year? Then everybody's happy, right?

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