Last night, John Boehner and Harry Reid met for the most exciting event in human history: budget negotiations to avert a government shutdown. And Boehner returned to his caucus to deliver the sob heard ’round the country. “He cried, but only briefly,” said “one person at the meeting” to ABC News. Yes, it looks like the government is going to shut down tomorrow night. (Hopefully forever? We were getting sick of this country and law and order anyway.) Republicans are trying once again to get exactly what they want incrementally through another stopgap extension, but this time, Democrats are STANDING UP for spending money on some stuff. Boehner’s tear ducts are stockpiling now. The Great Boring War is coming.
Many people and programs and events will be affected if the government is shut down. But both sides are focusing on members of the military, because something all Americans can agree on is liking the people who fight our unnecessary overseas invasions and occupations, and they can’t agree on things that actually help or serve Americans. The troops will not receive paychecks if shutdown happens, and this is pretty much the only thing that concerns Republicans.
The one-week stopgap drafted by House Republicans would provide money through Sept. 30 for the Pentagon, which has said the budget fight is causing considerable problems for the military. The inclusion of the military spending should win support for the bill even from House conservatives who had previously said they would not back any more temporary spending measures. It also allows Republicans to say they are making certain that troops fighting overseas do not miss a paycheck.
See, there you go. This stopgap would allow many other shutdown threats and stopgap incremental wins to happen in that period time, and Republicans wouldn’t have to worry about people saying they insufficiently love the troops.
But it doesn’t look like Democrats will give in on this (probably because they hate the troops). [ABC News/NYT]
{ 102 comments }
Is that a drop of Koch-cum glistening on his cheek?
I think it's Koch Santorum.
Somebody told him the House bar would also be closed with the shutdown.
"There is no space between me and the tea party." Well, actually just enough to produce a slurping sound from time to time.
Did he admit that the teabaggers are up hiz butt?
The first thing that should be stopped is the pay to the politicians. It is the only way they could show that they are serious about this.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
And for Gawd's sake cut of their gobbermint health insurance NOW!
Or as Darrell Issa put it: “It’s okay that the military doesn’t get paid, just as long as my staff does”.
Hahaha….yeah, not gonna happen. It's hilarious because Sen. Boxer proposed an amendment that would make it so politicians cannot accept pay during a government shutdown (ya know, since they love cutting the rest of us off) and Republicans screamed "Thayt's unconstitutional!" so fast her head spun. These weren't senate repubes, either. This was the house teabagger caucus whos perfectly happy to shut the government down as a means to accomplish short term policy objectives. Way to show us all that you mean what you say, greedy pigs…can't leave the trough for five minutes, even for this.
God, I fucking hate wingnuts.
It actually is unconstitutional — 27th Amendment
But that doesn't mean they have to accept the pay.
Because Somalia has such a great system of no-tax government..
Hey Boehner, Mogadishu needs a Tea Party leader. We'll supply the black helicopter to get you there. You spineless Kochtard you.
He spends so much time being damp that he must think mildew is a flavor.
When Boehner simultaneously cries, makes snot bubbles and wets his pants, then I'll worry. (And laugh a bit, too, of course)
Not that I want to be the one to find out, but I bet he cries when he has sex and then cals you "Mommy" and holds you very tightly and falls asleep on your bosom.
Lizzie, that is dangerously close to a waking nightmare.
It was a horrific thought, I must admit, but I can see him being really “loving” and overly needy.
I think you mean "continuously drunk". This is the guy whose main complaint against Pelosi was that she made the reps work until 6 or 7 at night many nights, which meant that he'd miss the half-price nachos at happy hour. Now, he runs the show, so they knock off work by four, and work every other week.
But you don't care, because "you" are made out of high-grade silicone.
Watch out for Boehner's post-coital cigarette. You don't want to get burned.
I always imagined the crying was about his whiskey dick.
During the last shut down, I spend my furlough days sitting at home writing emails to Newt Gingrich explaining exactly in very polite and non-threatening terms why I thought he was morally bankrupt.
I plan on doing much the same thing this time, but directed toward Boehner. I think they filter emails now, tossing those from outside the district. Perhaps it should be phone calls this go-round.
Remember say you one of the Koch brothers. That gives you an all access pass to any tea-tard.
Here's a tip, as one who used to write psuedonymous comedy letters to politicians and CEOs: write a letter and put a dollar bill in it (or even a quarter or a bus token). If you send it to their official office, they have to send it back (well, they're ethically bound to, anyways). I ALWAYS got responses when I enclosed a dollar.
Or send a check for a dollar and if they endorse it and cash it you have their autograph and a paper trail.
Fax it. If you can find a number, fax it — can't ignore a fax…paper goes in, paper goes out, never a miscommunication.
(EDIT: oof, faxes will cost you money. ok, never mind…)
Hmmm, I'm not doing anything next week. Maybe I could take a bag of garbage on the Metro to throw in his yard.
"That's IT!!!! I'm taking my government and going home!!!"
-John "Orange man group" Boehner-
Enough with 'Killing Government with a Thousand Cuts." Let's just go straight to "Smothering it with a Pillow."
No, it's "drowned it in a bathtub".
Take it "hunting".
Oooh, good idea. Then the government will have to apologize for getting in the way of Boehner's shotgun blast!
Unfortunately, the Pres will soften the shutdown blow by keeping air traffic flowing, some checks coming, some emergency services operating, instead of just giving the Teabaggers what they really want. In my usual immature fit of pique, I believe that if the Republicans fail to pass the continuing resolution the Pres should shut the whole damn government down. No air traffic, stop the wars, no FEMA, no parks, no tax refund checks, etc. Let those who voted the wrong way get exactly what's coming (or not coming) to them.
Hear Hear!
I can only imagine the uproar from the teatards if the marxist socialist obama stopped their social security checks, or stopped payment on their new hoveround. KEEP YOUR SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT OUT OF MY MEDICARE!
No moar medicare ponies
It's really too bad that the wingnutz couldn't get this hot and bothered when they were creating the budget mess in the first place.
At least Dems put everything in the front window. W and the Nutters passed an official "balanced" budget and then rubber stamped "supplemental" spending bills about once a week. Like that was magic money that didn't really count.
Republicans are like children; it's fun to make the mess but then they cry when they have to clean it up.
And they leave sticky messes in the damnedest of places.
yeah. like in a windowless van parked outside a playground.
So the Teabaggers™ are about to find out where their monthly cheques come from??
"Hey, Lurline…wherz the mailbox money??"
The miracle checks and Medicare subsidized hover rounds is good gubmint. Everything else is waste, fraud and abuse….
Expecialy that what goes to them ungrateful Negroes (i.e. old white ladies in nursing homes)
Good gubmint is the moneys I get. Bad gubmint is the moneys anyone else gets. They're the "Fuck all y'all" party.
I keep trying to find the funny in all of this, but it is just depressing. We've really reached that point in history where the leaders don't even PRETEND to care about average people anymore. Just whatever they can use to exploit in a campaign commercial. Apparently all 12 billion dollars in cuts are from programs used to turn aborted fetuses into delicious and chocolaty protein shakes.
Don't forget about the aborted fetus croquets. Browned in extra virgin umbilical cord fluid.
2/3rds of the cuts are from low income programs, this is just Reagan's "War on Welfare" all over again. We went from having black men in college to black men in prison in a single generation, they want to do the same thing to Latinos now before they start voting for Democrats en masse.
Boo fucking hoo. He looked like he was on a hostage tape last night when he showed up with Reid. The teabillys have em' by the short and curlies, and they let it happen. Tough shit, assholes.
Yep, he thought he could use the tea baggers and fundies in the last election, didn't he? Funny thing, those folks are still around and expecting him to follow their insanity to the letter.
Lay down with dogs, you get fleas, Boehner*.
* – and I DO pronounce it Boner on purpose.
You lie down with teabaggers, you're gonna get teabagged; it's simple.
Wiener nailed him on that one
Is it possible to suspend all Congressional salaries and privileges during a budgetary freeze? It seems only fair.
It's actually unconstitutional.
"No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-seventh_Amend...
Sweet! OK, just close the Congressional cafeteria. That alone will probably break the deadlock.
They love the troops so much that they are setting them up for no health care when what is left of them return home wounded. But they will be so proud of their useless vouchers!
The Democrats of today are standing up for something? Harry Reid is actually showing balls? Oh my, this is shocking; I think I'm gonna faint…
Damm it feels good to be a Gansta
In the words of Sully Erna "you were crying like a bitch"
"Many people and programs and events will be affected if the government is shut down. But both sides are focusing on members of the military"
Throw in a national sales tax to fund new football stadiums and you'll have a nice summary of American priorities (and probably enough votes to pass the budget).
What? The Dems are actually going to get off their knees and let out a defiant little squeak? I don't believe it; wake me up when they lock all the bastards out of Congress and turn out the lights.
Yeah I'm going with before. It wasn't like Nixon's Southern Strategy was aimed at academics…
"Boehner’s tear ducts are
stockpilingcrocodiling now."Fixed.
Our government needs a timeout.
Does this mean Medicare-funded Hoverounds will stop functioning in the event of a shutdown? (cue 'baggers: "START IT UP! START IT UP!")
I think Boner is crying because he senses that the Rethug teatards want to march right over the shutdown cliff while fapping to the
Heritage Foundation'sPaul Ryan's Path to Posteriorarity 2012 budget. He understands that if they do that, his gavel pounding daze are numbered.GE is going to get pissed when they don't get their tax refund check.
At least since Andrew Jackson.
Could make an argument for Julius Caesar.
Well, since Taft, anyway.
I wonder if this will hurt the paychecks of our "officials". Will they still get their healthcare? I hope the Dems point out what these guys are doing to the masses… Fuck these elitist asses and their, "I'm taking my ball and going home." attitude.
The worst part of the shutdown will be listening to soundbites from the moral jellyfish in Washington explaining how it is all Obama's fault.
I used to have to work in my dad's tavern!
(sobs uncontrollably)
These cretins will still be drawing a paycheck while the furloughed workers are being threatened with no backpay – because they're "un-essential", doncha know.
Bring it on, bozos. You are not going to know what hit you in 2012.
The thought of the sobfest Boehner would give if we take back the House in 2012 actually makes me want to volunteer for Democrats, even though 99% of them are spineless Republican-lites.
It's like a bad episode of Hell's Kitchen.
"This venison is RAW!"
"You're crying in the risotto, you donkey!"
SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN!
"Republicans also wanted to break the impasse."
"But we still have that brown guy around and it makes us sad. We don't care if he is smarter than us, cares about people and truly wants to do the best thing… he's BROWN… HELLO."
If you're a Republican male near a young male, isn't that everyday?
This is bad news for DC's tranny hookers.
It's only fair…they've been assfucking us since November.
Cry me a river Johnny B. You know this dickhole has to be feeling like he's the next Newt and we all know what happened when he shut down the government….wait, what?
Did someone say "General Strike?" Hey, I just did!
Does that come on after "As the World Burns"?
Union!
Well Democrats, get out your astroglide, Hopey's negotiating with the GOP again.
Hooray! They might as well call any stopgap passed now the "Save The Cherry Blossom Parade Act of 2011".
They don't consider real world impacts until it impacts them. They're all the kind of people who vote down money for a new fire truck and then bitch when their house burns down.
You know, the Repubtard congresscritters who've been on the teevee calling Barry "cowardly" for not doing this or that particular thing they want him to do may regret such statements. First, Barry is very, very urban. Second, they might find themselves engaged in primary contests, and, if they survive those, could find their Demo opponents very well financed and enjoying very high level guest speakers at their campaign events at the airport with Fuerza Aérea Uno as a backdrop.
Or anyway that's what'd happen if I were preznident.
They really don't care about the troops, just the shiny new toys… and the toy manufacturers…
Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown
When there's cameras around
"My Boyfriend's Black " also.
Can we get some signs printed up? I mean, to drive home just what Boehner et al. are doing – like next to every pothole: This pothole brought to you by Republican "small government" budget cuts. Or: This eliminated bus route brought to you by… Or: This unregulated toxic dump site brought to you by… This uneducated HIV-infected teen brought to you by… Well, you get the idea.
My current favorite protest sign for the moment:
Obama is NOT a brown-
skinned anti-war socialist
Who gives away free healthcare
You're thinking of Jesus.
If the government shuts down does that mean the TSA has to stop molesting women with big boobs?
Get America back to what the Founders wanted! Only property owners can vote, women have no rights, the return of slavery, and SATIN STOCKINGS!!!1!
I tied my shoes earlier.
Boehner cried.
So Boehner's only now realizing the consequences of walking hand-in-hand with the ignorant fucktards that make up the Tea Party?
Oh, and fuck the Tea Party and fuck the GOP–you bunch of anti-American crybabies.
Makes you want to kick ass on anybody wearing a tricorner hat
Leave Tammy Faye Boehner alone. He's sincere when he squirts out those orange tears.
"I know I was doing 90 in a school zone, officer, but the government's shut down, right?"
Whaaaat?
Nobody is going to put the baby Boner in a box!
(sobs)
Is congress nonessential personnel or just nonsensical?
Nancy Smash!
Boehner ought to just start wearing a skirt to work.
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