Voters: Here’s the Trailer For Arnold Schwarzenegger’s New Cartoon

  the power is yours


If the Constitution had been changed, this man could be a Republican frontrunner for the presidential nomination right now. Instead, we just have a few boring small time governors in the race, and he’s making cartoons about hiding teens in some high-tech sex dungeon in his house.

Also, haha, Larry King has a job. And he’s a reporter. You can really do anything with cartoons! [Videogum]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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61 comments

  1. harry_palmer

    I could only take about a minute of it, but the character showed much more emotional range and acting ability than Der Gropenfuhrer does in his real movies.

    1. widestanceroman

      Does he say, "You should not drink and bake" in this? That's the line he should be famous for, not the usual Terminator cliches. I don't even recall what movie it was, but that line was a keeper.

  2. bumfug

    "Vat do I tink uff Frau Bachmann? Listen goot, mein freund, you don't fuck crazy, you hear me?"

  3. ttommyunger

    Yes, he's following me now. I can almost smell the odor of filthy trailer, old bacon grease and Marlboros wafting off of my 'puter.

    1. harry_palmer

      Me too, as of 2:03 pm today. Under description it says, "Wait for months to have routine surgery in England…" Unless that's a town in Arkansas, he ain't never been there.

      1. ttommyunger

        Yup. I know what the “routine surgery” is, too. No doubt getting tired of taping his junk.

      2. Crank_Tango

        hmm wait for months in england, or NEVER GET ANY HEALTHCARE in the states…can't quite decide which is better.

        1. fuflans

          that was exactly my thought when i read his description.

          my next thought was what a bizarre trivial thing to put in your description.

  4. Come here a minute

    I bet with Donald Trump's help he could get a New York State birth certificate, and then it's GAME ON!

  5. ttommyunger

    The Governator needs to be in a cartoon medium. I saw a recent shot of him in a swim suit; looked like he was smuggling pudding and doorknobs under his skin. Not pretty.

  6. Gopherit

    He has to do this as a cartoon. No action hero should have moobs…..and, man. does arnie have moobs now.

  7. widestanceroman

    You would think that with a name like IntenseDebate, some whiz would have foreseen the possibility of "trolls" and included a way to cast them out of one's follower harem.

  8. Callyson

    He did more for California in three minutes in that cartoon than he did in his seven years as governor in Sacramento.
    Also: WTF with the trolls following me? Really, you have nothing better to do? I am nowhere near the funniest, meanest, snarkiest, or smartest commentator on Wonkette, which leads me to believe that you have no life. Don't you have a rent boy or call girl to kill some time with, or have they all been taken by the nutcases in the House?

  9. V572..whatever

    I'd like to watch it but in my market Terry Gross is interviewing Dexter Filkins. And yes, this journosaur circle-jerk is more interesting than anything Schwarzenschwanz has ever done or will ever do.

  10. __kth__

    If Stallone could consume enough roids, diuretics, and plastic surgery to be a 60-something action hero, there no reason Arnold can't.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Actually, these days, when I watch Stallone the suspense is wondering when parts will start flying off.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I really think he is just jealous because, while invited, he doesn't want to join in all the reindeer games.

      1. Crank_Tango

        and in the end, the only result is that our scores are all gonna go up because we are all upfisting the shit out of comments that no one would have clicked on before, out of solidarity.

        he/she is just more proof that there is nothing stopping the insane from using the internet.

  11. Guppy06

    Is it just me, or does it look like the same animation house that puts out the Boondocks?

  12. fuflans

    arnie is far too sane and reasoned to be the republican front runner.

    this is not snark.

  13. Hatrabbit

    OMG Gay robots taking over San Francisco? Send in a Republican bodybuilder–he'll know what to do.

    Pump it! Louder!

    Apparently.

  14. Bezoar

    C'mon, there's far worse than Arnold, and remember when he gave that hilarious response to his intransigent legistature? Where the first letter of every line spelled "fuck you"? Ha, that was way non-republican. I give him credit for growing and changing for the better over the years. Besides, you gotta admit, he was great in The Terminator. Just sayin'.

  15. zhubajie

    How about a hentai sequel, with AS(s) being molested by the tentacles of the Koch-topus?

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